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1
00:00:10,509 --> 00:00:14,051
- How much is a hamburger and a coffee?
- 45 pence.
2
00:00:14,176 --> 00:00:15,634
45 pence...
3
00:00:18,217 --> 00:00:20,801
- 45?
- 45, yes.
4
00:00:23,217 --> 00:00:25,301
See you the morra.
5
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:30,259
♪ Say you and your Spanish eyes
will wait for me...
6
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:35,259
♪ Oh, you and your Spanish eyes
7
00:00:35,384 --> 00:00:38,301
♪ Will wait for me
8
00:00:39,676 --> 00:00:42,342
♪ Yes, you and your Spanish eyes
9
00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:44,259
♪ Will wait for me... ♪
10
00:00:53,301 --> 00:00:56,426
You've got to make the most
of what life offers you.
11
00:00:57,842 --> 00:01:00,259
Life isn't meant to be easy.
12
00:01:00,384 --> 00:01:02,342
Not for anybody.
13
00:01:02,467 --> 00:01:06,926
OK, some of us may start out
with more than others.
14
00:01:07,051 --> 00:01:10,592
More... advantages, you might say.
15
00:01:11,717 --> 00:01:13,801
That's not the main item.
16
00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:19,092
It's basically every man for himself.
17
00:01:22,384 --> 00:01:24,676
Take the two of us, for instance.
18
00:01:24,801 --> 00:01:28,426
What did we start with?
What did we do with ourselves?
19
00:01:29,301 --> 00:01:31,384
For a start, there's my 'O' levels.
20
00:01:31,509 --> 00:01:32,592
Two!
21
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:36,759
Ah! Now, there's a fair advantage
you might say, eh?
22
00:01:36,884 --> 00:01:38,967
But I worked for them.
23
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:43,217
You see,
that's what you and I have in common.
24
00:01:43,342 --> 00:01:47,134
Not the 'O' levels, no.
The advantages, eh?
25
00:01:47,259 --> 00:01:51,509
You know, the little supports
that help us along life's weary way.
26
00:01:53,259 --> 00:01:55,467
Let's face facts, Earl.
27
00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:59,176
We've had our fair share of advantages.
28
00:02:02,342 --> 00:02:06,676
Like, for instance,
you had a nice, warm country,
29
00:02:06,801 --> 00:02:10,509
money, a big house,
30
00:02:10,634 --> 00:02:13,217
girls, a big horse.
31
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:17,426
Aye. And I bet you ate
a lot of nice curries up at that...
32
00:02:17,551 --> 00:02:19,426
Kandahar, eh?
33
00:02:19,551 --> 00:02:21,634
Nicely done, Earl.
34
00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:25,259
Oh, wait a minute here.
35
00:02:27,051 --> 00:02:31,301
I don't see too many 'O' levels there,
Earl old son.
36
00:02:31,426 --> 00:02:33,676
How did you do it?
37
00:02:33,801 --> 00:02:36,509
And why the bloody hell
don't I have a job?
38
00:02:37,967 --> 00:02:39,009
Oi!
39
00:02:40,342 --> 00:02:45,259
Go on your bike! I'm trying
to sleep here. Come on, clear off!
40
00:02:45,384 --> 00:02:47,259
Go on!
41
00:03:49,134 --> 00:03:52,467
...PX-135 conversion
for the quadraphonic speakers.
42
00:03:52,592 --> 00:03:55,592
You've got the wattage meters
built in at the start.
43
00:03:55,717 --> 00:04:00,384
- How much is that?
- Including the pre-amp, that'd be £740.
44
00:04:00,509 --> 00:04:04,134
- What about the FM tuner with...
- Automatic phase tracker?
45
00:04:04,259 --> 00:04:07,217
- Aye, automatic phase tracker.
- Another £460.
46
00:04:07,342 --> 00:04:10,092
You've got the basics
for a first-rate system.
47
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,801
- Eh?
- The basics.
48
00:04:11,926 --> 00:04:14,509
Oh, the basics.
49
00:04:14,634 --> 00:04:20,259
If you took the Elite speakers, I could
give you the lot for, say, 1,080?
50
00:04:20,384 --> 00:04:23,301
- Have you got a cigarette?
- Aye, certainly.
51
00:04:30,676 --> 00:04:33,592
You're tempting me,
but I want tae think about it.
52
00:04:33,717 --> 00:04:36,301
- About that automatic...
- Phase tracker?
53
00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:39,926
Aye, phase tracker.
I'll pop in on Friday and let you know.
54
00:04:40,051 --> 00:04:44,092
Thanks a lot. That piss-taker,
I mean phase tracker is magic.
55
00:04:53,967 --> 00:04:57,717
Aye, my dad only needs it on Saturday,
so it's mine all week.
56
00:04:57,842 --> 00:05:00,217
- I've got to buy my own petrol.
- Really?
57
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,717
Aye, it's 20 miles
to the gallon in town.
58
00:05:02,842 --> 00:05:05,759
- That's tough.
- Are you working yet...?
59
00:05:05,884 --> 00:05:09,301
- That's tough, too.
- Well, things are tough all over.
60
00:05:09,426 --> 00:05:11,717
Aye. I have to scoot now. See you!
61
00:05:38,301 --> 00:05:40,176
Oh, come on!
62
00:05:51,634 --> 00:05:55,092
- Where are you going?
- I'm going for a walk. See you later.
63
00:05:55,217 --> 00:05:58,051
- I'll get it fixed in a minute.
- It's no' that...
64
00:05:58,176 --> 00:06:01,301
- I'll no' be a minute.
- See you later, Ronnie.
65
00:06:04,634 --> 00:06:07,092
The rain's definitely goin' off, eh?
66
00:06:07,217 --> 00:06:09,509
It sure is.
67
00:06:09,634 --> 00:06:12,092
A good shower
really cleans the place up.
68
00:06:12,217 --> 00:06:14,384
It makes the world sparkle.
69
00:06:14,509 --> 00:06:16,592
It sure does.
70
00:06:19,634 --> 00:06:21,717
Did you have a good day?
71
00:06:21,842 --> 00:06:25,759
- Very enjoyable.
- Same here. Very, very enjoyable.
72
00:06:25,884 --> 00:06:28,176
Me, too. In the park mostly.
73
00:06:35,051 --> 00:06:37,134
It's miserable, isn't it?
74
00:06:37,259 --> 00:06:38,717
Yeah.
75
00:06:40,301 --> 00:06:42,467
I tried to kill myself today.
76
00:06:45,092 --> 00:06:46,967
Just after you left, Wal.
77
00:06:47,092 --> 00:06:50,926
I took a mouthful of Corn Flakes
and milk and held my nose shut.
78
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:57,301
I tried to drown myself
in Corn Flakes and milk!
79
00:06:57,426 --> 00:07:00,884
No, if you want to kill yourself,
what you dae is,
80
00:07:01,009 --> 00:07:04,509
you stand somewhere wet,
get yourself a good earth,
81
00:07:04,634 --> 00:07:07,092
then plug yourself into the mains.
82
00:07:07,217 --> 00:07:09,217
That's what I was gonnae dae.
83
00:07:09,342 --> 00:07:10,801
Woof!
84
00:07:13,342 --> 00:07:16,551
No, I think the best way
is out a window.
85
00:07:16,676 --> 00:07:18,634
Really high up.
86
00:07:18,759 --> 00:07:21,634
Hit the ground at 120 mile an hour.
87
00:07:21,759 --> 00:07:25,717
I was gonnae try that up
at the high flats, but the lifts were stuck.
88
00:07:25,842 --> 00:07:28,634
Couldnae be bothered climbing
400 stairs.
89
00:07:28,759 --> 00:07:32,759
Christ, you'd be fit for nothing
by the time you got to the top!
90
00:07:36,551 --> 00:07:39,717
There's got to be more to life
than committing suicide.
91
00:07:41,759 --> 00:07:45,551
There's got to be something.
There's got to be some way out.
92
00:07:54,926 --> 00:07:56,967
I think the rain's gone off, eh?
93
00:07:57,092 --> 00:07:59,176
Oh, beat it, eh?
94
00:07:59,301 --> 00:08:01,467
Are youse comin' down the road then?
95
00:08:01,592 --> 00:08:04,092
- Are youse goin'?
- Aye, come on.
96
00:08:15,634 --> 00:08:20,717
Hey! Do you no' think it's time you traded
that in for something wi' wheels?
97
00:12:08,176 --> 00:12:12,926
I'm sorry I had to drag youse all out on
such a cold night, but now we're all here,
98
00:12:13,051 --> 00:12:16,176
well, Ronnie wants to say something.
99
00:12:24,926 --> 00:12:29,926
I've got a lot to say, boys, but I've just
got one key word to say first of all.
100
00:12:33,717 --> 00:12:35,384
Sink.
101
00:12:49,926 --> 00:12:51,801
No, no.
102
00:12:52,967 --> 00:12:56,092
Get up. Let me put it another way, eh?
103
00:13:00,342 --> 00:13:02,759
We are sittin' on a gold mine.
104
00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:07,967
Or should I say a steel mine?
A stainless steel mine!
105
00:13:09,676 --> 00:13:13,426
Look, what's this area famous for?
106
00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:15,717
What's it well known for?
107
00:13:15,842 --> 00:13:16,884
Drunks.
108
00:13:18,051 --> 00:13:19,842
Muggers.
109
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:23,134
- Multiple social deprivation!
- Sinks!
110
00:13:23,259 --> 00:13:25,426
Stainless steel sinks.
111
00:13:25,551 --> 00:13:28,467
Hundreds of them
up at Martin's warehouse.
112
00:13:28,592 --> 00:13:33,009
- Sinks worth a fortune.
- You mean where I used tae work?
113
00:13:33,134 --> 00:13:36,092
Aye, we mean where you used tae work.
114
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:40,092
The sinks come at 60 quid apiece.
115
00:13:40,217 --> 00:13:43,884
An hour in there and we could shift 80,
maybe 90 into a van.
116
00:13:44,009 --> 00:13:47,342
60 times 90? Hey, that's over 100 quid!
117
00:13:50,426 --> 00:13:53,259
- Where will we get a van?
- Vic's mate's a van boy.
118
00:13:53,384 --> 00:13:56,967
He's gonnae get it fixed up wi' him.
Any Corn Flakes?
119
00:13:57,092 --> 00:13:59,551
No. Sugar Puffs...?
120
00:13:59,676 --> 00:14:02,092
Hey, we need a modus exper...
121
00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:04,467
Eh, a modul oper...
122
00:14:04,592 --> 00:14:07,051
Och, you mean a modus operandi?
123
00:14:07,176 --> 00:14:09,467
No, we need a way tae get in!
124
00:14:18,426 --> 00:14:21,259
- Wal, put your shoes on.
- Aye.
125
00:14:26,051 --> 00:14:31,759
Decoys. Two guys dressed up as cleaning
ladies to take care of the night-watchman.
126
00:14:31,884 --> 00:14:35,967
You know, we can get wigs
and make-up, a dress.
127
00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:38,176
I'll be one of them.
128
00:14:47,801 --> 00:14:50,092
Good idea, Vic.
129
00:14:50,217 --> 00:14:52,384
We need some inside information.
130
00:14:52,509 --> 00:14:55,926
Alec, where did you say you worked
before you got the sack?
131
00:14:56,051 --> 00:14:58,467
The accounts department.
132
00:14:58,592 --> 00:15:02,967
It was unfair dismissal! It's no' my fault
I'm no' a walking computer.
133
00:15:03,092 --> 00:15:06,301
OK, men, back to work. Keep thinking.
134
00:15:06,426 --> 00:15:10,426
This job's gonnae be perfect.
It's gonnae be a work of art.
135
00:15:10,551 --> 00:15:14,467
We're gonnae be rich.
But we still need some more guys, though.
136
00:15:14,592 --> 00:15:17,634
Vic, get the van fixed up, right?
137
00:15:17,759 --> 00:15:20,467
- Are you sure you've nae Corn Flakes?
- No.
138
00:15:20,592 --> 00:15:23,592
Alec, remember anything you can
about the layout.
139
00:15:23,717 --> 00:15:26,134
Doors, windows, anything. Draw a plan.
140
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:29,842
Wal, check the night-watchman.
See where he spends the night.
141
00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:33,134
Check out his routine.
What else do we need?
142
00:15:33,259 --> 00:15:37,426
Four or five more people
with skill, courage and determination.
143
00:16:14,009 --> 00:16:16,759
- Morning rolls?
- Ten dozen.
144
00:16:16,884 --> 00:16:18,759
- Jam sponges?
- No.
145
00:16:18,884 --> 00:16:20,467
- Bridies?
- No.
146
00:16:20,592 --> 00:16:22,676
- Pancakes?
- No.
147
00:16:22,801 --> 00:16:24,884
- Coffee buns?
- A dozen.
148
00:16:25,009 --> 00:16:27,176
- Paris buns?
- No.
149
00:16:27,301 --> 00:16:29,301
- Small Alberts?
- No.
150
00:16:29,426 --> 00:16:31,759
- Chocolate doughnuts?
- A dozen.
151
00:16:31,884 --> 00:16:34,301
- Iced doughnuts?
- No.
152
00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:36,176
- Sugar doughnuts?
- No.
153
00:16:36,301 --> 00:16:38,592
- Apple turnovers?
- A dozen.
154
00:16:38,717 --> 00:16:40,967
- Madeira cake?
- No.
155
00:16:41,092 --> 00:16:42,967
Angel cake...?
156
00:16:43,092 --> 00:16:44,967
- Ginger slabs?
- No.
157
00:16:45,092 --> 00:16:46,759
- Albert slabs?
- Dozen.
158
00:16:47,842 --> 00:16:51,134
- What's wrang?
- I've got something to tell you, Bobby.
159
00:16:51,259 --> 00:16:54,176
We cannae talk here.
We'll go somewhere quiet.
160
00:16:54,301 --> 00:16:58,426
- I cannae leave the shop.
- Just a couple of minutes. That's all.
161
00:17:18,259 --> 00:17:20,134
- Sultana cake?
- No.
162
00:17:20,259 --> 00:17:21,926
- Cream cookies?
- No.
163
00:17:22,051 --> 00:17:24,092
- Apple slab?
- Two.
164
00:17:44,134 --> 00:17:45,759
You've got a van.
165
00:17:45,884 --> 00:17:48,634
Well, what do you think?
166
00:17:51,926 --> 00:17:53,467
Well?
167
00:17:53,592 --> 00:17:55,676
Sorry, I couldn't hear you.
168
00:17:56,759 --> 00:17:58,342
Oh, fuck.
169
00:17:58,467 --> 00:18:00,551
- Small trifles?
- No.
170
00:18:00,676 --> 00:18:01,842
- Large trifles?
- No.
171
00:18:02,759 --> 00:18:05,176
It's a big job.
172
00:18:07,717 --> 00:18:09,301
Local...
173
00:18:16,842 --> 00:18:18,926
High-class goods.
174
00:18:20,259 --> 00:18:22,342
Fool-proof entry.
175
00:18:33,717 --> 00:18:36,259
We want a look-out.
176
00:18:36,384 --> 00:18:39,009
Plus someone that can handle alarms.
177
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:49,801
Oh, for God's sake,
it's like a public park here!
178
00:18:50,967 --> 00:18:53,342
Come on, let's get somewhere quieter.
179
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:55,051
Shoo!
180
00:19:10,926 --> 00:19:13,509
It's magic, this place, in the summer.
181
00:19:29,384 --> 00:19:31,884
So, a good alarm man is what we need.
182
00:19:32,009 --> 00:19:35,259
One circuit does the whole place,
as far as we know,
183
00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:38,342
then one, maybe two good look-outs,
you know?
184
00:19:38,467 --> 00:19:41,301
One on the inside
and one outside on the road.
185
00:19:42,509 --> 00:19:47,342
We want people
with skill, courage and determination.
186
00:19:52,717 --> 00:19:54,259
What's up?
187
00:19:56,384 --> 00:19:58,801
It's quite choppy today, isn't it?
188
00:20:04,676 --> 00:20:09,217
I'm sorry to be a bother, Ronnie,
but I'm just not a very good sailor.
189
00:20:10,592 --> 00:20:13,717
I'm very keen on the job, though.
It sounds fine.
190
00:20:15,259 --> 00:20:17,342
I'd be fine if I was sick.
191
00:20:31,592 --> 00:20:34,259
Come in, number seven, your time's up!
192
00:20:35,384 --> 00:20:37,801
Keep away fae thae swans. They're evil.
193
00:20:37,926 --> 00:20:40,676
They can break your arms
with their muzzles.
194
00:20:40,801 --> 00:20:44,967
- Beaks.
- Aye, beaks. Ducks aren't so vicious.
195
00:21:32,801 --> 00:21:36,384
- Hey, where's New York?
- 3,000 miles that way.
196
00:21:39,967 --> 00:21:43,426
- Where's Australia?
- 12,000 miles that way.
197
00:21:48,884 --> 00:21:52,176
- Where's China?
- 5,000 miles that way.
198
00:21:55,092 --> 00:21:58,092
Ask me the capital of Ethiopia.
199
00:21:59,592 --> 00:22:02,217
OK, what's the capital of Ethiopia?
200
00:22:02,342 --> 00:22:04,676
Addis Ababa.
201
00:22:04,801 --> 00:22:06,884
- What's six and eight?
- 14.
202
00:22:08,759 --> 00:22:10,842
Rubbish! Naewhere near it.
203
00:22:10,967 --> 00:22:13,051
- Aye, it is.
- You're miles off it.
204
00:22:13,176 --> 00:22:16,134
- No, I'm not.
- It's naewhere near 14.
205
00:22:18,217 --> 00:22:19,676
Hey!
206
00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:35,759
One of us should talk tae Simmy
and gie him the details.
207
00:22:35,884 --> 00:22:38,509
Tell him about the key
for the warehouse door.
208
00:22:38,634 --> 00:22:42,801
- And the signal to get the gate open.
- Tell him to get the door down quick.
209
00:22:42,926 --> 00:22:44,884
Right. Where will he be?
210
00:22:45,009 --> 00:22:47,717
Up at the Arts Centre.
He looks after the bees.
211
00:22:47,842 --> 00:22:51,592
That's ideal for secret discussions.
It's up on the roof.
212
00:22:51,717 --> 00:22:53,801
It's a good, quiet place to talk.
213
00:22:53,926 --> 00:22:55,967
- Right.
- Right.
214
00:23:13,801 --> 00:23:17,676
♪ All things bright and beautiful... ♪
215
00:23:19,967 --> 00:23:23,092
- Who was that masked man?
- Search me.
216
00:23:23,217 --> 00:23:26,509
Come on. Yeah, come on.
217
00:23:26,634 --> 00:23:29,384
Come on. Sit doon.
218
00:23:29,509 --> 00:23:31,842
Coochie, coochie, coochie....
219
00:23:37,884 --> 00:23:42,051
Coochie, coochie, coochie coo.
Coochie, coochie, coochie coo.
220
00:23:48,009 --> 00:23:50,551
I've got the plan.
221
00:23:50,676 --> 00:23:53,134
If I go get the key for the watchman,
222
00:23:53,259 --> 00:23:56,884
we'll pass it on to the guy
on the inside, the little guy.
223
00:23:58,176 --> 00:24:01,842
He'll go to the back gate
and tap out the signal. Three taps.
224
00:24:04,426 --> 00:24:08,717
The van goes in, the gate
comes down again. Really quick.
225
00:24:08,842 --> 00:24:11,009
Ronnie'll show you the stuff to take.
226
00:24:11,134 --> 00:24:13,217
Just the sinks, nothing else.
227
00:24:14,717 --> 00:24:16,801
What are you daein' here?
228
00:24:18,342 --> 00:24:20,509
What are you daein' here, you mug?
229
00:24:20,634 --> 00:24:23,259
I came to tell Simmy
what you've been sayin'.
230
00:24:23,384 --> 00:24:26,884
I forgot about the two taps.
It's a good job you remembered.
231
00:24:27,009 --> 00:24:28,551
Aye.
232
00:24:48,717 --> 00:24:50,884
It's good to have you with us.
233
00:24:51,009 --> 00:24:56,092
It's a big job, but it's simple
and that's the beauty of it.
234
00:24:56,217 --> 00:24:58,926
We're all going to be rich.
235
00:24:59,051 --> 00:25:01,634
Have you finished with this roll here?
236
00:25:02,884 --> 00:25:07,176
Big, big money.
Capital for anything you want.
237
00:25:07,301 --> 00:25:10,634
I'm going to make you rich. Come on.
238
00:25:15,301 --> 00:25:18,009
Two coffees and a roll and sausage,
wasn't it?
239
00:25:18,134 --> 00:25:20,217
- Yeah.
- 57 pence, please.
240
00:25:21,301 --> 00:25:24,509
I wonder if you could take care
of the coffees?
241
00:25:24,634 --> 00:25:28,134
Look, I've left my wallet
in my other jacket pocket.
242
00:25:28,259 --> 00:25:30,676
I'll square you up later. I'm sorry.
243
00:25:30,801 --> 00:25:33,134
You're a screwball!
244
00:25:33,259 --> 00:25:36,759
Big money, eh?
Lots of capital, do what you want!
245
00:25:36,884 --> 00:25:39,967
- You cannae even buy me a coffee?
- I'm sorry.
246
00:25:40,092 --> 00:25:44,551
How do you expect to do a robbery and
you can't even buy me a cup of coffee?
247
00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:48,051
That's what we're daein' it for.
We've nae money just noo!
248
00:25:48,176 --> 00:25:50,176
Can't do a robbery without money!
249
00:25:50,301 --> 00:25:54,384
I'm in the gang two minutes,
two minutes and I'm losing already!
250
00:26:25,551 --> 00:26:28,842
OK, lads,
can I have your attention, please?
251
00:26:30,134 --> 00:26:32,676
Come on, a wee bit of hush, attention!
252
00:26:35,009 --> 00:26:38,092
Will you shut up
and give me your attention?
253
00:26:38,217 --> 00:26:40,301
Down...
254
00:26:40,426 --> 00:26:42,717
Will you shut up!
255
00:26:42,842 --> 00:26:45,759
Right, lads,
the boss wants a word with you.
256
00:26:51,009 --> 00:26:52,467
Thanks.
257
00:26:53,634 --> 00:26:59,426
I'd just like to say you're doing
a great job. Keep up the good work.
258
00:26:59,551 --> 00:27:01,009
Thanks.
259
00:27:25,092 --> 00:27:27,176
What does it do?
260
00:27:27,301 --> 00:27:30,509
It puts the alarm system
out of action completely.
261
00:27:31,551 --> 00:27:33,426
How does it work?
262
00:27:33,551 --> 00:27:36,467
You find the main fuse box
inside the warehouse.
263
00:27:36,592 --> 00:27:40,092
- Yeah.
- Locate the fuse for the alarm circuit.
264
00:27:40,217 --> 00:27:42,884
- Yeah.
- Then you throw this box at it.
265
00:27:43,009 --> 00:27:46,009
- It should knock it tae fuck!
- Yeah.
266
00:27:46,134 --> 00:27:48,176
Hey, what does that dae?
267
00:27:48,301 --> 00:27:51,426
It puts the alarm system
out of action completely.
268
00:27:54,217 --> 00:27:56,384
Head up. Swing your arm.
269
00:27:57,467 --> 00:28:00,509
- Wal, stop muckin' about.
- I'm no' muckin' about!
270
00:28:00,634 --> 00:28:02,301
- Aye, you are.
- I'm no'!
271
00:28:02,426 --> 00:28:04,342
We've got dresses to try on and make-up.
272
00:28:04,467 --> 00:28:06,301
I'm tryin' my best!
273
00:28:06,426 --> 00:28:10,092
- What else have we got to do?
- Have you got the clothes?
274
00:28:10,217 --> 00:28:12,134
- Aye. You?
- Aye.
275
00:28:12,259 --> 00:28:14,676
- Everything ready?
- Aye.
276
00:28:14,801 --> 00:28:18,092
But... how do you become a girl?
277
00:28:18,217 --> 00:28:21,926
Convince yourself first
before anything else.
278
00:28:22,051 --> 00:28:24,967
- Tell yourself you're a girl.
- How?
279
00:28:25,092 --> 00:28:27,759
- 'I'm a girl.' Say it.
- I'm a girl.
280
00:28:27,884 --> 00:28:30,676
- That's it. Try, Wal. It helps.
- I'm a girl.
281
00:28:30,801 --> 00:28:33,176
I'm a girl. I'm a girl.
282
00:28:33,301 --> 00:28:35,634
- Wal, try it.
- No, I'm no' sayin' that.
283
00:28:35,759 --> 00:28:37,342
- Wal!
- No!
284
00:28:37,467 --> 00:28:39,342
- I'm a girl.
- You're an eejit!
285
00:28:39,467 --> 00:28:42,051
I'm a girl. I'm a girl.
286
00:28:42,176 --> 00:28:46,176
- You like this, don't you?
- No... Aye, I'm a girl. I'm a girl.
287
00:28:46,301 --> 00:28:47,842
- Try it.
- No!
288
00:28:47,967 --> 00:28:50,176
I'm a girl. I'm a girl.
289
00:28:50,301 --> 00:28:52,176
- Wal, try it.
- No!
290
00:28:57,467 --> 00:29:00,717
Oh, no.
It's a three-week high-protein diet.
291
00:29:00,842 --> 00:29:03,217
It was in last week's Vanity Fair.
292
00:29:07,467 --> 00:29:10,176
Is anything worrying you just now?
293
00:29:10,301 --> 00:29:12,384
Are you quite happy?
294
00:29:12,509 --> 00:29:16,509
Well, there was one or two things
I wanted to talk to you about.
295
00:29:17,634 --> 00:29:20,967
Would you wear a brown skirt
with a red top,
296
00:29:21,092 --> 00:29:23,551
say, a really deep red, kind of maroon
297
00:29:23,676 --> 00:29:26,301
with maybe grey tights?
298
00:29:28,051 --> 00:29:30,467
Vic, what's wrong with you?
299
00:29:31,634 --> 00:29:35,801
Aye, right, brown tights.
It needs to be brown tights. Brown tights.
300
00:29:38,134 --> 00:29:40,009
What's up?
301
00:29:41,134 --> 00:29:45,467
Look, Mary, it's good.
It'll bring us closer together.
302
00:29:45,592 --> 00:29:48,676
We'll be able to share things,
talk about the same things,
303
00:29:48,801 --> 00:29:50,634
make-up and frocks.
304
00:29:50,759 --> 00:29:54,176
- We can be real buddies.
- I've got girlfriends for that!
305
00:29:54,301 --> 00:29:57,426
It's meant to be different with you.
306
00:29:57,551 --> 00:30:00,134
Look, I know what I'm doing.
307
00:30:00,259 --> 00:30:02,342
It's gonnae work out fine.
308
00:30:03,717 --> 00:30:07,009
Tell me. Talk to me about it.
309
00:30:11,217 --> 00:30:15,592
I'm just interested in girls.
I mean, I like them.
310
00:30:15,717 --> 00:30:18,259
You don't have to BE one!
311
00:30:18,384 --> 00:30:23,134
Of course not. I'm a boy.
I'm a boy. I'm a boy!
312
00:30:23,259 --> 00:30:26,384
- I want my lipstick back.
- Eh?
313
00:30:26,509 --> 00:30:30,967
The one you took from my bag last night
when we were saying 'good night'.
314
00:30:33,051 --> 00:30:35,384
I'm still a good kisser, eh?
315
00:30:35,509 --> 00:30:39,801
- What's goin' on, Vic? Eh?
- I'll tell you soon.
316
00:30:39,926 --> 00:30:41,801
- Tell me now!
- Soon!
317
00:31:03,551 --> 00:31:05,634
What do you fancy?
318
00:31:05,759 --> 00:31:08,217
I've set my heart on ten days
in Barbados.
319
00:31:08,342 --> 00:31:09,926
Very nice.
320
00:31:10,051 --> 00:31:12,842
It's a four-star hotel,
321
00:31:12,967 --> 00:31:15,634
full board, return flight for, eh...
322
00:31:16,967 --> 00:31:19,967
...just over four sinks. It's no' bad.
323
00:31:20,092 --> 00:31:23,092
Ah, but look,
if you put in an extra sink,
324
00:31:23,217 --> 00:31:26,842
you can get the African safari
with five nights in Nairobi.
325
00:31:27,926 --> 00:31:30,717
I don't know.
It's awful difficult to choose.
326
00:31:30,842 --> 00:31:33,509
Here, what are you gonnae dae
wi' your sinks?
327
00:31:33,634 --> 00:31:35,801
I've got my eye on a lovely, wee CSL.
328
00:31:35,926 --> 00:31:38,009
- Oh.
- A guitar, you know?
329
00:31:38,134 --> 00:31:40,217
- An amplifier box.
- Mm-hm.
330
00:31:40,342 --> 00:31:42,884
A wah-wah pedal, you know? Wah-wah!
331
00:31:45,717 --> 00:31:48,051
I've even got the plectrum.
332
00:31:48,176 --> 00:31:49,842
Show me.
333
00:31:49,967 --> 00:31:52,384
Aye, very good.
334
00:31:52,509 --> 00:31:55,134
Huh! Give us a tune.
335
00:31:55,259 --> 00:31:58,009
♪ Da-na-na, dan-dan-dan
336
00:31:58,134 --> 00:32:01,842
♪ I don't want a holiday in the sun
337
00:32:01,967 --> 00:32:04,967
♪ I wanna go to the new Belsen... ♪
338
00:32:05,092 --> 00:32:08,009
I'm a boy. I'm a boy.
339
00:32:08,134 --> 00:32:10,092
I'm a boy!
340
00:32:21,342 --> 00:32:23,342
Does it involve other boys?
341
00:32:24,676 --> 00:32:26,967
No, of course not.
342
00:32:27,092 --> 00:32:29,051
It's just me.
343
00:32:37,634 --> 00:32:39,509
How's Vicky?
344
00:32:41,842 --> 00:32:45,509
I've got my sister's shoes.
She won't miss them at the weekend.
345
00:32:45,634 --> 00:32:47,967
Not now, Alec. Later.
346
00:32:50,176 --> 00:32:53,634
But it's about the brassiere.
I could only get a 36B.
347
00:32:53,759 --> 00:32:57,092
There's hunners o' room in the straps.
It'll fit you OK.
348
00:32:58,717 --> 00:33:02,384
Have you got the lipstick for Wal?
You said you'd get it for him.
349
00:33:02,509 --> 00:33:05,301
He cannae get lipstick.
You said you'd get it.
350
00:33:05,426 --> 00:33:07,301
You away, Mary?
351
00:33:08,509 --> 00:33:11,301
What about thae tights?
Did you get the red ones?
352
00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:33,092
- What about the van?
- Bobby's fine.
353
00:33:33,217 --> 00:33:36,884
Two days' notice is all he needs.
Everything's worked out.
354
00:33:38,051 --> 00:33:40,301
15th floor. Be here in a minute.
355
00:33:42,467 --> 00:33:44,426
What's he gonnae do?
356
00:33:44,551 --> 00:33:49,259
His driver always has tea from a flask.
He'll put something in it, knock him out.
357
00:33:49,384 --> 00:33:52,176
- The van's his.
- What's he gonnae knock...
358
00:33:52,301 --> 00:33:54,384
How are you, boys?
359
00:33:57,009 --> 00:33:59,176
What's he gonnae knock him out with?
360
00:33:59,301 --> 00:34:01,676
Chemicals. A special mixture.
361
00:34:01,801 --> 00:34:05,967
Bobby knows what he's doing.
Don't worry. It's guaranteed.
362
00:34:06,092 --> 00:34:08,801
Is the van driver guaranteed
to wake up again?
363
00:34:08,926 --> 00:34:11,551
Aye, Bobby knows the score.
364
00:34:11,676 --> 00:34:14,259
Two days' notice he wants?
365
00:34:14,384 --> 00:34:16,551
That makes it Wednesday night.
366
00:34:18,134 --> 00:34:21,717
OK, tell the boys
we hit Martin's on Wednesday night.
367
00:34:27,884 --> 00:34:30,217
All right then?
368
00:34:42,717 --> 00:34:44,384
Wednesday.
369
00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:57,217
Tuesday.
370
00:35:03,967 --> 00:35:06,134
- Wednesday.
- Are you sure?
371
00:35:06,259 --> 00:35:08,551
Wednesday, Wednesday!
372
00:35:08,676 --> 00:35:12,926
- Buy me a coffee, Simmy?
- Wed... en... sday!
373
00:35:30,051 --> 00:35:31,926
It's Wednesday.
374
00:35:34,217 --> 00:35:38,551
Pay attention, lads. We've got to know
all these signals for the big night.
375
00:35:38,676 --> 00:35:41,967
Number one,
two arms waved across the chest
376
00:35:42,092 --> 00:35:44,092
is the signal for 'start loading'.
377
00:35:45,176 --> 00:35:47,259
Start loading!
378
00:35:50,509 --> 00:35:52,592
Start loading.
379
00:35:52,717 --> 00:35:55,467
I'll dae it again. Start loading.
380
00:35:55,592 --> 00:35:57,676
Start loading.
381
00:36:00,176 --> 00:36:02,259
So it's start loading?
382
00:36:03,551 --> 00:36:05,634
We'll dae it again.
383
00:36:07,134 --> 00:36:09,134
Start loading!
384
00:36:22,217 --> 00:36:24,509
We're makin' good time today, Bob.
385
00:36:24,634 --> 00:36:27,051
Only two drops to do.
386
00:36:27,176 --> 00:36:29,467
Should be finished pretty sharp.
387
00:36:34,134 --> 00:36:36,884
I'll sleep like a log tonight.
388
00:36:37,009 --> 00:36:39,926
- What are you up to yourself?
- Wednesday?
389
00:36:40,051 --> 00:36:43,551
- I've got my night school tonight.
- What are you learning?
390
00:36:45,092 --> 00:36:47,176
- Chemistry.
- Oh, just the man.
391
00:36:47,301 --> 00:36:49,801
Can you do love potions?
392
00:36:50,884 --> 00:36:52,634
Maybe.
393
00:36:52,759 --> 00:36:54,842
Could you do one for my wife?
394
00:36:54,967 --> 00:36:56,842
Maybe.
395
00:36:56,967 --> 00:36:59,759
Could you make her run away
wi' somebody else?
396
00:38:01,134 --> 00:38:02,592
Hey!
397
00:39:26,967 --> 00:39:28,926
Ronnie!
398
00:39:29,051 --> 00:39:30,926
Ronnie!
399
00:39:32,051 --> 00:39:35,051
Ronnie! Ronnie! Ronnie!
400
00:39:35,176 --> 00:39:37,801
Ronnie! Ronnie!
401
00:39:37,926 --> 00:39:40,676
Ronnie! Ronnie! It's me!
402
00:39:40,801 --> 00:39:43,384
Don't jump! It's only me!
403
00:39:44,967 --> 00:39:47,842
Davy, ya bastard, ye!
404
00:39:47,967 --> 00:39:50,134
Are you tryin' tae kill me?
405
00:39:56,717 --> 00:39:58,592
Come on.
406
00:40:08,051 --> 00:40:10,301
Aye, come on.
407
00:40:10,426 --> 00:40:13,426
I'm sorry if I gave you
a fright there, Ronnie.
408
00:40:13,551 --> 00:40:17,176
It's an automatic reaction.
It comes with the training.
409
00:40:18,259 --> 00:40:20,301
That's OK.
410
00:40:21,384 --> 00:40:23,426
I can appreciate that.
411
00:40:23,551 --> 00:40:24,926
Oh!
412
00:40:25,051 --> 00:40:28,842
You've obviously got
the reactions of a tiger.
413
00:40:32,717 --> 00:40:34,259
Oh, gee...
414
00:40:40,884 --> 00:40:44,384
How are you? I havenae seen you
since we left school.
415
00:40:44,509 --> 00:40:47,301
Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.
416
00:40:48,759 --> 00:40:52,134
You've grown a bit.
You used to be about...
417
00:40:53,176 --> 00:40:55,342
I just sprouted in the past year.
418
00:41:00,634 --> 00:41:02,884
Are you still playin' the violin?
419
00:41:03,009 --> 00:41:04,551
No.
420
00:41:06,801 --> 00:41:09,217
Are you workin' yourself?
421
00:41:09,342 --> 00:41:11,009
No!
422
00:41:13,926 --> 00:41:16,634
How's the gang?
423
00:41:16,759 --> 00:41:19,592
What gang? I don't know any gangs.
424
00:41:19,717 --> 00:41:22,467
If you're looking for a gang guy,
you've got the wrang guy.
425
00:41:22,592 --> 00:41:24,509
I don't know any gangs, honest!
426
00:41:24,634 --> 00:41:27,092
The boys!
427
00:41:27,217 --> 00:41:30,259
- The boys?
- Aye, Simmy.
428
00:41:30,384 --> 00:41:32,842
- Simmy?
- And Vic.
429
00:41:32,967 --> 00:41:35,842
- Vic?
- And Wal.
430
00:41:35,967 --> 00:41:38,717
Is he still up to his daft, old tricks?
431
00:41:38,842 --> 00:41:41,426
Remember the time he wanted us
to break into Aldo's cafe
432
00:41:41,551 --> 00:41:43,634
and steal all
his cheese and onion crisps?
433
00:41:43,759 --> 00:41:46,634
That Wal's a bad yin
and he always has been.
434
00:41:46,759 --> 00:41:49,967
No, we were just boys. Daft boys.
435
00:41:52,592 --> 00:41:54,634
Do you want to see my whistle?
436
00:41:54,759 --> 00:41:56,217
Aye.
437
00:42:04,634 --> 00:42:06,676
Name, laddie.
438
00:42:09,217 --> 00:42:11,301
This is my notebook.
439
00:42:12,426 --> 00:42:14,009
Name!
440
00:42:15,509 --> 00:42:17,592
Ronnie Munro.
441
00:42:20,426 --> 00:42:23,884
No... fixed... abode.
442
00:42:25,134 --> 00:42:28,134
That's Glasgow G40, isn't it?
443
00:42:28,259 --> 00:42:30,884
Glasgow G40.
444
00:42:37,592 --> 00:42:39,676
I know you're not a bad lad.
445
00:42:40,842 --> 00:42:42,301
Yeah...
446
00:42:43,342 --> 00:42:47,009
Just mixin' with the wrong crowd.
That's all.
447
00:42:47,134 --> 00:42:49,217
Do yourself a favour.
448
00:42:54,634 --> 00:42:56,717
Come on, take them off.
449
00:43:12,384 --> 00:43:15,801
Christ, Ronnie,
I seem to have lost the key!
450
00:43:17,009 --> 00:43:21,134
Eh, look, you'd better come down
to the station to get a spare.
451
00:43:27,634 --> 00:43:30,101
Tango 81 to base. Tango 81...
452
00:43:31,555 --> 00:43:33,434
Please repeat.
453
00:43:35,009 --> 00:43:38,009
That's two pound of sugar
and one pint of milk.
454
00:43:38,134 --> 00:43:40,301
Right, over and out.
455
00:44:29,217 --> 00:44:31,509
Look, relax.
456
00:44:41,092 --> 00:44:43,592
See when they snapped shut?
457
00:44:43,717 --> 00:44:48,884
I could see my whole life flash
before my eyes. It was horrible, Wal.
458
00:44:49,009 --> 00:44:51,509
Och, you're safe now.
459
00:44:56,009 --> 00:44:59,301
I mean, look.
The rain's goin' aff as well.
460
00:44:59,426 --> 00:45:01,801
We might get a good night for it.
461
00:45:03,134 --> 00:45:04,884
Are you no' excited?
462
00:45:06,092 --> 00:45:08,592
I mean, it's been hard work.
463
00:45:08,717 --> 00:45:11,967
Yeah, everybody's been great.
464
00:45:12,092 --> 00:45:16,259
I'm sorry
it's all going to be over so soon.
465
00:45:17,967 --> 00:45:20,551
If it works, you can do it again.
466
00:45:20,676 --> 00:45:24,842
- Another job?
- Why not? You might have a flair for it.
467
00:45:24,967 --> 00:45:26,759
Naw.
468
00:45:26,884 --> 00:45:31,051
I think I'll just retire
on my ill-gotten drains.
469
00:45:32,092 --> 00:45:34,842
Hey, cheers anyway. Eh?
470
00:45:38,009 --> 00:45:40,092
I have to go.
471
00:45:41,134 --> 00:45:43,634
Still got my hair to do.
472
00:45:43,759 --> 00:45:47,176
Hey, stay cool, eh? I'll see you later.
473
00:46:03,967 --> 00:46:06,801
Give us a cup of tea, will you, Bob?
474
00:46:07,842 --> 00:46:11,801
Don't you want to stop
and have it properly?
475
00:46:11,926 --> 00:46:14,634
Nah, keep going and get finished early.
476
00:46:17,342 --> 00:46:19,467
Have it your way.
477
00:46:36,217 --> 00:46:38,009
Thanks.
478
00:49:46,459 --> 00:49:49,551
- Everything OK?
- Fine.
479
00:49:50,599 --> 00:49:52,801
What's that?
480
00:49:53,842 --> 00:49:56,759
It's the driver.
I couldn't just dump him.
481
00:49:56,884 --> 00:50:01,051
Do we have to take him all over with us?
482
00:50:01,176 --> 00:50:04,342
- How long's he gonnae be out for?
- I don't know.
483
00:50:04,467 --> 00:50:08,217
It's the first time I've tried it
on a human.
484
00:50:08,342 --> 00:50:10,842
What did you try it on before?
485
00:50:10,967 --> 00:50:13,051
A mouse.
486
00:50:15,842 --> 00:50:17,551
How long was it out for?
487
00:50:18,592 --> 00:50:22,342
Four month...
but it woke up in perfect health.
488
00:50:22,509 --> 00:50:27,301
- Jesus! Four months?!
- Get the boys in or we're gonnae be late.
489
00:50:33,176 --> 00:50:37,134
- Ronnie, who's the stiff?
- Get in!
490
00:51:37,759 --> 00:51:40,217
Aw, look at your hair. What a mess!
491
00:51:40,342 --> 00:51:43,342
- It was the rain!
- Shove on a scarf!
492
00:51:43,467 --> 00:51:45,551
- Where's the wee man?
- Here.
493
00:51:52,551 --> 00:51:54,592
Come on.
494
00:51:54,717 --> 00:51:57,426
You really are a sight.
495
00:52:02,134 --> 00:52:06,301
Let me do the talkin'.
Don't throw yourself at him.
496
00:52:06,426 --> 00:52:11,009
We'll play hard to get for the first
half hour, then we'll play it by ear.
497
00:52:11,134 --> 00:52:14,051
Where did you get that awful brooch?
498
00:53:26,509 --> 00:53:29,009
Good evening, ladies.
499
00:53:35,176 --> 00:53:38,176
You probably think
we're a pair of silly girls,
500
00:53:38,301 --> 00:53:40,426
but is this Abernathy's factory?
501
00:53:40,551 --> 00:53:44,759
We're supposed to clean the offices,
but we can't seem to find the place.
502
00:53:44,884 --> 00:53:49,092
- Silly girls that we are.
- Nah, you're a long way frae Abernathy's.
503
00:53:49,217 --> 00:53:53,242
- A fair bit aff your track.
- It's our first night, too.
504
00:53:53,342 --> 00:53:55,342
What will we do?
505
00:53:55,467 --> 00:53:59,426
Well, you just sit down here
and have a nice cup of tea.
506
00:53:59,551 --> 00:54:01,092
You can phone the man
507
00:54:01,217 --> 00:54:05,051
and don't you worry
your pretty little head about it, OK?
508
00:54:09,634 --> 00:54:14,342
What do you think, Marion, dear?
Will we stay here with the nice... man?
509
00:54:23,967 --> 00:54:28,717
Excuse me. Is there a wee girls' room
where I could fix my make-up?
510
00:54:28,842 --> 00:54:33,092
Aye, it's right across the corridor.
And... take your time.
511
00:54:55,051 --> 00:54:57,759
'Mmm, I love you, I love you.'
512
00:55:15,884 --> 00:55:20,051
A sweet thing like you
won't need any sugar, eh?
513
00:55:45,134 --> 00:55:48,176
Do you want to go to the wee boys' room?
514
00:55:50,051 --> 00:55:52,592
Don't you catch cold, mind. The key's...
515
00:55:52,717 --> 00:55:55,467
The key's in the lavatory pan upstairs.
516
00:56:34,884 --> 00:56:37,467
Key's in the pan. Key's in the pan...
517
00:56:40,467 --> 00:56:43,176
Key's in the pan. Key's in the pan.
518
00:56:44,884 --> 00:56:47,592
Key's in the pan. Key's in the pan.
519
00:57:08,801 --> 00:57:11,717
The key's in the... pan.
520
00:58:09,051 --> 00:58:13,801
What the hell's going on in there?
We're 10 minutes behind already.
521
00:58:13,926 --> 00:58:16,842
- Relax.
- Relax?!
522
00:58:18,801 --> 00:58:22,967
Maybe you'd give me a wee something
to put me oot for a couple of centuries.
523
00:58:23,092 --> 00:58:25,176
Eh, Doctor?!
524
00:58:51,801 --> 00:58:55,759
Sorry, wee hold up.
There's loads of pans.
525
00:59:41,092 --> 00:59:45,301
Hey, Andy, your sister will kill you
if you get a hole in they tights.
526
00:59:45,426 --> 00:59:49,676
- You did say it was a robbery.
- Watch you don't go too fast.
527
00:59:49,801 --> 00:59:53,051
They're run-resistant.
You'll break a leg.
528
00:59:53,176 --> 00:59:58,176
Let's get back to work, eh? Steel sinks,
kitchen-size. That's all we want.
529
00:59:58,301 --> 01:00:02,509
- Alec, what floor are the sinks on?
- Eh, the second floor.
530
01:00:02,634 --> 01:00:05,217
Aw! THIRD floor! Come on.
531
01:00:41,301 --> 01:00:44,009
This is the place, lads.
532
01:00:45,051 --> 01:00:47,676
Let's get tae work.
533
01:02:05,259 --> 01:02:08,176
Aww, she's a shy one, eh?
534
01:02:09,217 --> 01:02:11,717
I like the shy ones.
535
01:02:15,676 --> 01:02:20,467
I wonder where that wee rascal's got to.
I better go and find him.
536
01:02:22,759 --> 01:02:28,176
He sometimes has trouble with his zip.
Takes after his father. Byesie-bye!
537
01:03:30,009 --> 01:03:32,717
What are you doing?
538
01:03:35,259 --> 01:03:39,009
I'm having trouble with this bastard,
missus.
539
01:03:41,717 --> 01:03:46,342
Now you're wet in front of your ears
as well, ya choob!
540
01:03:51,051 --> 01:03:55,009
- How much is one of these?
- Forty quid.
541
01:03:57,759 --> 01:04:01,967
For that price,
you'd think you'd get a new one.
542
01:04:25,676 --> 01:04:27,759
Put it back.
543
01:04:27,884 --> 01:04:30,867
Gie's a break, Ronnie.
It's my mother's birthday.
544
01:04:30,992 --> 01:04:37,092
You know the rules... these things
are too easily traced. Now put it back.
545
01:04:45,134 --> 01:04:47,634
Do you know where there's a toilet?
546
01:04:47,759 --> 01:04:51,926
Alang the corridor, turn to your right,
it's third on the left.
547
01:05:03,051 --> 01:05:05,134
♪ ...and a-prancing
548
01:05:05,259 --> 01:05:07,551
♪ Commence the dancing and the prancing
549
01:05:07,676 --> 01:05:09,426
♪ Dub-eddy-dum
550
01:05:09,551 --> 01:05:11,342
♪ Commence a-prancing
551
01:05:11,509 --> 01:05:13,176
♪ And a-dancing...
552
01:05:13,301 --> 01:05:15,592
♪ Oo-do-be-do-be-do
553
01:05:15,717 --> 01:05:17,801
♪ Bom bom, dub-eddy-dum
554
01:05:17,926 --> 01:05:20,967
♪ Commence a-prancing and a-dancing
555
01:05:21,092 --> 01:05:23,134
♪ Oo-doodly-do
556
01:05:23,259 --> 01:05:25,342
♪ A-dancing and a-prancing
557
01:05:25,467 --> 01:05:28,551
♪ Doo-doo, de-do, doo-doo
558
01:05:28,676 --> 01:05:32,259
♪ De-doooo, de-doodly-do... ♪
559
01:05:43,634 --> 01:05:46,759
♪ De-doodly-do, de-doodly-do
560
01:05:46,884 --> 01:05:50,801
♪ De-doodly-doooo, de-doodly-do
561
01:05:50,926 --> 01:05:53,759
♪ A-dancing and a-prancing
562
01:05:53,884 --> 01:05:55,801
♪ De-do-do-do
563
01:05:55,926 --> 01:05:58,842
♪ De-dooo-de-doodly-do... ♪
564
01:06:04,842 --> 01:06:08,676
- How's the watchman?
- OK. Wal's taking care of him.
565
01:06:08,801 --> 01:06:11,242
Want a wee somethin' tae put in his tea?
566
01:06:11,342 --> 01:06:14,217
Naw, no thanks, Bob. We can handle it.
567
01:06:18,342 --> 01:06:21,676
Here, puss... Here, puss, puss, puss.
568
01:06:21,801 --> 01:06:23,676
Puss...
569
01:06:54,426 --> 01:06:57,134
What are you doin' after the robbery?
570
01:06:57,259 --> 01:06:59,926
Haud on! I'm a boy. You know, I'm a boy!
571
01:07:00,051 --> 01:07:03,134
No, I know that. Em, it's just...
572
01:07:03,259 --> 01:07:07,634
You doin' any jobs? Any more robberies?
Anything like that?
573
01:07:07,759 --> 01:07:10,426
Not really thought about it, you know.
574
01:07:10,551 --> 01:07:13,342
You know, we'd make a good team.
575
01:07:13,509 --> 01:07:15,676
You've got style.
576
01:07:15,801 --> 01:07:19,217
Oh, do you think so? Not too showy?
577
01:07:19,342 --> 01:07:22,259
No, no, not at all. Not at all.
578
01:07:46,926 --> 01:07:49,426
There ye are. Have a read.
579
01:08:32,759 --> 01:08:37,551
Go up and tell them that's enough.
We're pulling out in four minutes.
580
01:08:38,592 --> 01:08:42,551
Check the street. Give us the all-clear
in three and a half minutes.
581
01:08:42,676 --> 01:08:44,967
- Sure.
- Vic...
582
01:08:45,092 --> 01:08:47,801
Vic! Get yourself and Wal outside.
583
01:08:47,926 --> 01:08:51,884
We'll pick you up on the corner
in seven minutes.
584
01:09:01,926 --> 01:09:04,634
I'm just getting rid of footprints.
585
01:09:05,634 --> 01:09:08,717
'C'mon, Alec. Time to go home.
586
01:09:28,134 --> 01:09:30,509
Coo-ee! Can a girl come in?
587
01:09:41,134 --> 01:09:46,634
Now, now, Marion, dear. It's time we let
this nice man get back to his work.
588
01:09:46,759 --> 01:09:49,426
Thanks for all your help, sir.
589
01:09:49,551 --> 01:09:52,242
Aw, it's been a great pleasure, ladies.
590
01:09:52,342 --> 01:09:55,092
You two mind and take care
of yourselves.
591
01:09:55,217 --> 01:09:57,242
There's a lot of hoodlums oot there
592
01:09:57,342 --> 01:09:59,467
that just don't have any respect
for a lady.
593
01:09:59,592 --> 01:10:01,676
- So take care.
- Thank you.
594
01:10:17,092 --> 01:10:18,634
Well done, wee man.
595
01:10:19,676 --> 01:10:22,342
Ho ho! Barbados, here I come!
596
01:10:22,467 --> 01:10:24,342
Ha-hey!
597
01:10:30,801 --> 01:10:33,551
First floor.
Sinks and ladies' underwear.
598
01:11:04,342 --> 01:11:06,426
Thank you.
599
01:12:37,259 --> 01:12:39,842
I don't know what the place
is coming to.
600
01:12:39,967 --> 01:12:44,592
They actually got a helicopter on
Martin's roof and lifted the sinks away.
601
01:12:44,717 --> 01:12:47,009
The mind boggles!
602
01:13:24,342 --> 01:13:26,426
Know what I'm gonnae dae?
603
01:13:26,551 --> 01:13:30,259
Go hame and tell Bobby
to get a padlock on the bathroom door.
604
01:13:31,801 --> 01:13:34,592
Well, not a bad night's
work, eh, fellas?
605
01:13:35,634 --> 01:13:38,134
93 stainless steel sinks.
606
01:13:39,759 --> 01:13:42,426
And our very own snoring zombie.
607
01:13:43,592 --> 01:13:47,759
Don't scoff, smart arse!
He's worth a lot more than your sinks.
608
01:13:47,884 --> 01:13:52,242
That's a scientific curiosity. I could get
£200 for him up at the university.
609
01:13:52,342 --> 01:13:54,717
Oh, aye? What do you propose?
610
01:13:54,842 --> 01:13:58,009
Wheel him to the front door
and ask for the cashier?
611
01:13:58,134 --> 01:13:59,551
You're a maniac.
612
01:13:59,676 --> 01:14:03,842
- You're a psychopath.
- I'm no'! I'm a scientist!
613
01:14:03,967 --> 01:14:08,342
That's suspended animation.
Folk have been trying for ages to do that.
614
01:14:08,467 --> 01:14:13,634
You could send him through space,
to Saturn, Mars, even Jupiter.
615
01:14:13,759 --> 01:14:17,717
Short of van drivers on Jupiter,
are they, eh?
616
01:14:17,842 --> 01:14:20,051
You see problems everywhere.
617
01:14:20,176 --> 01:14:23,342
A scientific breakthrough's staring you
in the face!
618
01:14:24,342 --> 01:14:28,009
What about the sinks, Ronnie?
When do we get the money?
619
01:14:28,134 --> 01:14:30,884
They're too hot
to put on the market just now.
620
01:14:31,009 --> 01:14:33,134
We're just as well keeping them here.
621
01:14:33,259 --> 01:14:38,051
- But if anybody has any bright ideas...
- What bright ideas have you got?
622
01:14:38,176 --> 01:14:41,217
What's the big plan now?
623
01:14:44,967 --> 01:14:46,759
Hey...
624
01:14:46,884 --> 01:14:51,217
- Going back to what you said about...
- What about it?
625
01:14:53,926 --> 01:14:56,842
How much would we get for his kidneys?
626
01:14:56,967 --> 01:14:58,467
Shut up!
627
01:14:58,592 --> 01:15:02,592
- He stays in one piece.
- That was a fair question.
628
01:15:02,717 --> 01:15:07,509
The kidney market's in a very healthy
state. Kidneys flying all over the world.
629
01:15:07,634 --> 01:15:12,426
But for once I agree with you, Ronnie.
We'll keep him in one piece.
630
01:15:12,551 --> 01:15:15,242
He's easier to carry that way as well.
631
01:15:15,342 --> 01:15:20,051
What aboot the money?
That's what we did it for.
632
01:15:20,176 --> 01:15:23,301
- I want tae book my holiday.
- Where are you goin'?
633
01:15:23,426 --> 01:15:28,009
A wee place on the east coast.
I saw it on the map. Grangemouth.
634
01:15:28,134 --> 01:15:33,134
- Fancy coming?
- Er, no, thanks. Maybe next year, eh?
635
01:15:33,259 --> 01:15:35,967
There's a simple way...
636
01:15:36,092 --> 01:15:38,842
There's a simple way to do it, Ronnie.
637
01:15:38,967 --> 01:15:43,551
Offload the sinks and split the money
or split the sinks, right now,
638
01:15:43,676 --> 01:15:46,342
and it's every man for himself. Lads?
639
01:15:46,509 --> 01:15:50,342
Stop asking people tae make decisions!
Troublemaker!
640
01:15:50,467 --> 01:15:55,634
Ronnie, I'll take my sinks and call it
a day. How many does it work out at?
641
01:15:55,759 --> 01:15:59,926
OK, but they don't leave here
until after the weekend.
642
01:16:00,051 --> 01:16:02,676
Give things a chance to cool down.
643
01:16:04,759 --> 01:16:08,717
It works out at eight sinks each.
That'll leave some for...
644
01:18:17,509 --> 01:18:21,717
Most disappointing show,
would you not say? Very boring, really.
645
01:18:21,842 --> 01:18:24,551
But this... this interests me.
646
01:18:24,676 --> 01:18:28,426
I'm here to see a man.
He's interested in buying them.
647
01:18:28,551 --> 01:18:31,242
Really? He must know a thing or two
648
01:18:31,342 --> 01:18:35,342
about the most recent developments
in the New York School.
649
01:18:35,467 --> 01:18:39,801
- This is a very, very good piece.
- He'll be along just now.
650
01:18:39,926 --> 01:18:44,342
You're not the artist? You are?
You're responsible for this?
651
01:18:44,467 --> 01:18:49,051
- Yeah, yeah.
- Did you bring it here to install it?
652
01:18:49,176 --> 01:18:54,301
I just brought it to install it. A fella
was interested, but he hasn't turned up.
653
01:18:54,426 --> 01:18:58,801
- It's not yet part of the show?
- No, it isn't. It's mine.
654
01:18:58,926 --> 01:19:02,676
- Nothing to do with the gallery?
- No, no, no. It's mine.
655
01:19:02,801 --> 01:19:07,342
This is perfect for the exhibition
I'm planning about metal sculpture.
656
01:19:07,509 --> 01:19:12,301
I'm buying all the work for the show
and I'd love to buy this. How much is it?
657
01:19:12,426 --> 01:19:16,051
- You're interested in buying it?
- I am. How much?
658
01:19:16,176 --> 01:19:19,009
Well, the sinks come about
60 quid apiece.
659
01:19:19,134 --> 01:19:21,717
I could let you have the four
for... 200.
660
01:19:22,842 --> 01:19:25,342
That's ridiculously cheap!
661
01:19:25,467 --> 01:19:29,242
I could fling in some taps,
you could make it 250.
662
01:19:29,342 --> 01:19:33,884
No, I accept it as a work of art.
I know exactly what you're getting at.
663
01:19:34,009 --> 01:19:38,176
It's extraordinary.
What do you call it? What's the name?
664
01:19:38,301 --> 01:19:41,217
- Well, just... Sink.
- Sink?
665
01:19:41,342 --> 01:19:44,676
Well, I'm happy to buy Sink for...£200?
666
01:19:44,801 --> 01:19:49,242
- Yes.
- Do you mind actually? It's my lucky day.
667
01:19:49,342 --> 01:19:52,092
It's absolutely as it should be.
668
01:19:52,217 --> 01:19:56,967
- Tell me... Sorry, what's your name?
- Cash.
669
01:19:57,092 --> 01:19:59,592
- Sorry?
- M Cash.
670
01:19:59,717 --> 01:20:02,176
M Cash. How appropriate.
671
01:20:02,301 --> 01:20:04,801
Well, Mr Cash, here you are.
672
01:20:05,842 --> 01:20:08,426
M Cash, Esquire.
673
01:20:08,551 --> 01:20:10,509
£200.
674
01:20:10,634 --> 01:20:14,717
- There we are. Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
675
01:21:55,967 --> 01:22:00,134
'Tango Control to all mobiles.
We have another missing bread van.
676
01:22:00,259 --> 01:22:04,926
'Colour: white. Contents: four dozen pies,
eight dozen morning rolls,
677
01:22:05,051 --> 01:22:10,217
'two dozen small trifles, three dozen
large trifles, one dozen apple turnovers,
678
01:22:10,342 --> 01:22:13,134
'three dozen iced doughnuts,
no chocolate doughnuts.
679
01:22:13,259 --> 01:22:14,634
'Repeat: no chocolate doughnuts.'
680
01:22:36,801 --> 01:22:39,467
Come on, ya stubborn bastard!
681
01:22:39,592 --> 01:22:42,509
I'll break it
and re-set it up your back!
682
01:22:42,634 --> 01:22:46,342
- Now, now, Doctor.
- How's the other one?
683
01:22:52,426 --> 01:22:54,926
It's still the same.
684
01:22:56,467 --> 01:22:58,759
We've got the computer read-out
685
01:22:58,884 --> 01:23:03,051
on his biorhythmic electro-magnetic
brainwave sleep pattern, Doctor.
686
01:23:03,176 --> 01:23:06,301
- Quite interesting reading.
- What's the score?
687
01:23:06,426 --> 01:23:10,592
According to the analysis
of the normal sleep pattern,
688
01:23:10,717 --> 01:23:14,884
he's scheduled to wake up
in the year... 2068.
689
01:23:17,009 --> 01:23:22,009
- Without ageing a single day.
- He'll wake up and want his breakfast.
690
01:23:23,259 --> 01:23:26,301
Carrying the hopes,
691
01:23:26,426 --> 01:23:31,009
the dreams, the fears of all of us
into the next century!
692
01:23:31,134 --> 01:23:35,301
The sink, Doctor. Don't forget,
he'll be carrying that, too.
693
01:23:35,426 --> 01:23:40,217
There's so much more
we could be telling them! Giving them!
694
01:23:40,342 --> 01:23:43,301
All they're going to get
is a bloody sink!
695
01:23:43,426 --> 01:23:46,759
When he wakes up,
he'll be a billionaire.
696
01:23:46,884 --> 01:23:51,176
- He's due 80 years of Sick Benefit.
- With compound interest!
697
01:23:51,301 --> 01:23:54,842
Plus 40 years of Old Age Pension.
He'll be worth a fortune.
698
01:23:54,967 --> 01:24:00,884
Just think... waking up to start
a new life in the Glasgow of 2068.
699
01:24:01,009 --> 01:24:06,009
The ring road will be finished!
Partick Thistle in the European Cup!
700
01:24:06,134 --> 01:24:11,134
The SDA will have started a facelift
in Bearsden... trees everywhere!
701
01:24:12,176 --> 01:24:15,509
And medicine...
just think of the progress.
702
01:24:15,634 --> 01:24:20,217
Everybody in Paisley will be able
to have a brain transplant.
703
01:24:20,342 --> 01:24:21,676
Yeah...
704
01:24:21,801 --> 01:24:25,967
He's going to wake up
to one hell of a city!
705
01:24:29,426 --> 01:24:30,467
Hey!
706
01:24:30,592 --> 01:24:35,426
Wait a minute! He can piss off!
Get a rocket to Australia.
707
01:24:35,551 --> 01:24:38,134
Be there in an hour!
708
01:24:38,259 --> 01:24:41,051
He'll no' have to stay here!
709
01:24:48,676 --> 01:24:53,676
- When's he going to shut up?
- Don't worry. It'll be over in 80 years.
710
01:25:30,634 --> 01:25:33,551
A bloody miracle, eh?
711
01:25:34,926 --> 01:25:39,717
I know. I've heard of water intae wine,
but sinks intae doughnuts?!
712
01:25:39,842 --> 01:25:41,717
Fantastic!
713
01:25:41,842 --> 01:25:45,801
Well, wait a minute.
If sinks turn into doughnuts,
714
01:25:45,926 --> 01:25:48,551
what happened tae the driver?
715
01:25:55,342 --> 01:25:58,676
It's no' him. It's no' snoring!
716
01:25:58,801 --> 01:26:02,801
Listen, lads,
I've got something important to say.
717
01:26:02,926 --> 01:26:07,676
I've been thinking. You know that Irn-Bru
factory up the road up at the cross?
718
01:26:07,801 --> 01:26:10,342
It's a natural for a hit.
719
01:26:10,509 --> 01:26:13,634
- Naw...
- Look, the summer's coming in.
720
01:26:13,759 --> 01:26:17,051
Hundreds of thirsty people.
We can make a fortune!
721
01:26:17,176 --> 01:26:22,176
We can get rid of the guard dogs with
Bobby's chemicals in the kennel meat.
722
01:26:22,301 --> 01:26:27,717
It's only a 20-foot fence. All we need is
a couple of ropes. No, rope ladders.
723
01:26:27,842 --> 01:26:30,342
That's the thing. Rope ladders.
724
01:26:30,467 --> 01:26:33,509
All we dae is connect one end
of the hose
725
01:26:33,634 --> 01:26:36,092
into the main pump inside the factory.
726
01:26:36,217 --> 01:26:41,509
That's all inside. And the other end
tae oor tanker ootside. That's all.
727
01:26:41,634 --> 01:26:46,301
20,000 gallons of Irn-Bru?
Hey, that's no' to be sniffed at.
728
01:26:46,426 --> 01:26:51,217
We could take the stuff down the coast,
sell it on the beaches.
729
01:26:51,342 --> 01:26:55,051
- Magic!
- We could drive it to Spain!56582
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