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1
00:00:00,703 --> 00:00:02,906
- Do I need that much protein?
- I think you do.
2
00:00:02,912 --> 00:00:04,291
But it also has creatine.
3
00:00:04,297 --> 00:00:06,009
And? You want gainz?
4
00:00:06,015 --> 00:00:08,611
Well, yeah, I do, but I
also want liver function.
5
00:00:08,617 --> 00:00:11,095
Well, don't call me
crying from your plateau.
6
00:00:11,101 --> 00:00:13,290
Stop pretending that you
know about this stuff.
7
00:00:13,296 --> 00:00:16,191
When we first got divorced,
we weren't nearly this chummy,
8
00:00:16,197 --> 00:00:17,595
but time had passed.
9
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:18,908
Okay, hot oven!
10
00:00:18,914 --> 00:00:20,312
Things have become chill.
11
00:00:20,893 --> 00:00:22,704
Mmm, cinnamon! Nice touch, Mom!
12
00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:26,172
We were both thankful, and
so was the rest of the family.
13
00:00:26,178 --> 00:00:28,171
Because even though we
were no longer together...
14
00:00:28,177 --> 00:00:30,983
It just made sense for
us to do things together.
15
00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:32,664
Football time for me, guys.
16
00:00:32,670 --> 00:00:35,197
I will clean up later.
I promise. I promise.
17
00:00:35,284 --> 00:00:38,866
Which made every day feel
like Christmas morning.
18
00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:41,888
We need to get batteries for
that. Anybody want anything?
19
00:00:41,894 --> 00:00:43,605
I'll have a mimosa,
if you're making them.
20
00:00:43,683 --> 00:00:45,087
Kids, school!
21
00:00:45,093 --> 00:00:47,286
And by the time
spring rolled around...
22
00:00:47,361 --> 00:00:48,812
We were total buds.
23
00:00:49,261 --> 00:00:51,964
It was hard to believe,
but we'd recovered from...
24
00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:54,159
I am done! I am done
with the scrutiny.
25
00:00:54,165 --> 00:00:55,760
That fight changed us.
26
00:00:55,766 --> 00:00:57,991
- You deserve someone who feels that way about you.
- I realized...
27
00:00:57,997 --> 00:00:59,687
I wasn't ready to be dating.
28
00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:02,089
And I realized I was.
29
00:01:03,595 --> 00:01:06,587
? When I'm feeling blue ?
30
00:01:06,593 --> 00:01:08,891
- ? All I have to do... ?
- Lisa?
31
00:01:08,897 --> 00:01:10,694
- Oh, hey! Martin, right?
- Hey.
32
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:11,936
You're Milo's dad.
33
00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:13,798
Amongst other things.
34
00:01:13,804 --> 00:01:15,016
Such as?
35
00:01:15,291 --> 00:01:17,007
Lover of romaine.
36
00:01:17,013 --> 00:01:19,421
- It is a great lettuce.
- Yes.
37
00:01:19,729 --> 00:01:23,122
? Nothing seems to matter ?
38
00:01:23,128 --> 00:01:25,930
- ? My whole world could shatter... ?
- Why are they playing this song?
39
00:01:25,936 --> 00:01:27,992
- I don't know.
- I feel...
40
00:01:27,998 --> 00:01:30,866
- weirdly emotional.
- Oh. Well, here.
41
00:01:31,204 --> 00:01:32,404
Oh!
42
00:01:33,345 --> 00:01:34,626
So, how's Milo?
43
00:01:34,632 --> 00:01:36,232
Uh, oh, good. He's... he's good.
44
00:01:36,238 --> 00:01:38,555
He, uh... Going into
second grade, so he made it.
45
00:01:38,561 --> 00:01:40,847
I always felt bad I couldn't
help more with his issue.
46
00:01:40,853 --> 00:01:42,966
Oh, what with the peeing
in the flower bed thing?
47
00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:44,859
No, he stopped that
on his own months ago.
48
00:01:44,865 --> 00:01:46,562
The kid's got a bright future.
49
00:01:46,568 --> 00:01:49,312
No, I meant the whole
"serial-killer" handwriting.
50
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,195
Oh, right. Yeah. That.
51
00:01:51,201 --> 00:01:54,716
I kept telling your wife his
penmanship was totally age-appropriate.
52
00:01:54,722 --> 00:01:56,882
Yeah, well, I kept telling her
we're all gonna be speaking Mandarin
53
00:01:56,888 --> 00:01:59,490
- soon, right? So, who cares?
- Apparently she did.
54
00:02:00,369 --> 00:02:01,569
She did.
55
00:02:03,071 --> 00:02:04,972
So, you've been good?
56
00:02:04,978 --> 00:02:06,262
Me? Very!
57
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:07,848
Very good.
58
00:02:08,244 --> 00:02:11,831
Not that good. No,
Lena and I s-separated.
59
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:13,682
Actually, we... we divorced,
60
00:02:13,688 --> 00:02:16,985
and we're living
together still for now,
61
00:02:16,991 --> 00:02:19,979
but divorcedly so.
That's not a word.
62
00:02:19,985 --> 00:02:22,551
I ramble when I...
when I get nervous.
63
00:02:22,557 --> 00:02:24,251
I'm... I'm divorced.
64
00:02:24,762 --> 00:02:25,973
Okay.
65
00:02:26,395 --> 00:02:28,271
Well, my number's still good.
66
00:02:28,473 --> 00:02:31,381
Give me a call if you ever feel
like getting brunch or something.
67
00:02:31,387 --> 00:02:33,473
Oh, yeah! I always feel like
getting brunch or something.
68
00:02:33,479 --> 00:02:35,383
I... But I never, ever do.
69
00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:37,055
Maybe you should change that.
70
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:43,592
Ugh! Was that
Lisa (BLEEP) Apple?
71
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,416
God, we hated her.
72
00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:46,887
Did we?
73
00:02:46,893 --> 00:02:50,307
Yeah. Remember those big,
fake glasses she used to wear?
74
00:02:50,313 --> 00:02:52,196
Ugh, and she was so
"holier than thou."
75
00:02:52,202 --> 00:02:53,513
She was always
giving us kid advice
76
00:02:53,519 --> 00:02:54,719
even though she
doesn't have kids.
77
00:02:54,725 --> 00:02:56,024
Well, she is a tutor.
78
00:02:56,030 --> 00:02:58,199
What does that mean? She's
not a very good tutor.
79
00:02:58,205 --> 00:02:59,616
How much money did
we pay her for Milo
80
00:02:59,622 --> 00:03:01,605
to still write like
the Zodiac Killer?
81
00:03:01,611 --> 00:03:04,937
Hm, I didn't realize how
strongly we felt about her.
82
00:03:04,943 --> 00:03:06,718
Well, we did.
83
00:03:07,014 --> 00:03:09,134
Thank God she's not
in our lives anymore.
84
00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:12,226
Yeah. Thank God.
85
00:03:13,856 --> 00:03:17,080
? Keep giving me hope
for a better day ?
86
00:03:17,086 --> 00:03:20,588
? Keep giving me
love to find a way ?
87
00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:24,997
? Through this heaviness
I feel, I just need ?
88
00:03:25,003 --> 00:03:30,302
- ? Someone to say everything's okay ?
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com -
89
00:03:30,308 --> 00:03:32,113
? Everything's okay ?
90
00:03:33,388 --> 00:03:35,777
Hey, Mom. I signed you up
for the bake sale at school,
91
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,292
- and it has to be something good.
- _
92
00:03:37,298 --> 00:03:38,690
So, dig deep.
93
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:41,250
- Oh, can I pitch you some ideas?
- Go.
94
00:03:41,256 --> 00:03:43,643
What about one of those
rainbow-layer cakes?
95
00:03:43,649 --> 00:03:46,227
No, Eric's mom's already doing
that. It's all over her Pinterest.
96
00:03:46,233 --> 00:03:48,242
You follow Eric's
mom on Pinterest?
97
00:03:48,248 --> 00:03:49,569
She has great boards.
98
00:03:50,232 --> 00:03:51,744
Oh! How about this...
99
00:03:52,016 --> 00:03:53,426
I reinvent a classic.
100
00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,733
I like where this is going...
101
00:03:55,739 --> 00:03:58,256
Sea-salt dusted brondie.
102
00:03:58,262 --> 00:04:00,451
- Brondie? Is-is that even a word? Di...
- Brondie.
103
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:01,777
did you just coin that?
104
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:03,482
Oh, my gosh. I think
I just coined that.
105
00:04:03,488 --> 00:04:05,883
And the Nobel Prize
for brondies goes to...
106
00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:12,103
Lot of homework?
107
00:04:12,701 --> 00:04:17,293
Just an English paper on female
role models called "Nevertheless."
108
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,903
We have to complete the phrase
by writing something remarkable
109
00:04:19,909 --> 00:04:21,504
our female role model has done.
110
00:04:21,510 --> 00:04:25,012
Oh, well, if you need to
interview me, I'm available.
111
00:04:25,018 --> 00:04:26,218
I chose Maya.
112
00:04:26,382 --> 00:04:27,584
Maya Angelou?
113
00:04:27,661 --> 00:04:29,979
Aunt Maya. She's a trailblazer.
114
00:04:29,985 --> 00:04:31,859
Uh, what has she ever blazed
115
00:04:31,865 --> 00:04:34,672
besides those weed
cigarettes for her "anxiety."
116
00:04:34,678 --> 00:04:36,180
It's more about
what she doesn't do,
117
00:04:36,186 --> 00:04:37,469
which is conform
to the antiquated
118
00:04:37,475 --> 00:04:39,554
cis-gender norms of
patriarchal society.
119
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,048
Okay, if this is
an English paper,
120
00:04:41,054 --> 00:04:43,156
you should start
by speaking English.
121
00:04:43,162 --> 00:04:45,428
She decided to have
a kid on her own.
122
00:04:45,434 --> 00:04:46,962
We should celebrate that.
123
00:04:46,968 --> 00:04:49,498
Celebrate her
decision to have baby?
124
00:04:49,504 --> 00:04:50,781
She hasn't even done it yet.
125
00:04:50,787 --> 00:04:53,890
I've been boots on the
ground for 15 years!
126
00:04:53,896 --> 00:04:55,679
Yeah, but, Mom, it's 2018,
127
00:04:55,685 --> 00:04:57,890
and you still get
giddy about bake sales
128
00:04:57,896 --> 00:05:00,387
and stocking the
pantry with apple juice.
129
00:05:00,584 --> 00:05:03,471
I'm sorry, but you're
part of the problem.
130
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:04,893
I'm part of the problem?
131
00:05:04,899 --> 00:05:06,503
You don't wanna shatter
the glass ceiling.
132
00:05:06,509 --> 00:05:09,416
You want to clean
it with Windex.
133
00:05:09,422 --> 00:05:10,622
Okay.
134
00:05:10,628 --> 00:05:13,712
First of all, I make
my own window cleaner
135
00:05:13,718 --> 00:05:16,411
with a combination of
white distilled vinegar
136
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,112
and freshly
squeezed lemon juice,
137
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,829
and the fresh lemon juice
is the most important part!
138
00:05:19,835 --> 00:05:22,800
Okay, listen, we're gonna
finish this conversation later!
139
00:05:25,186 --> 00:05:29,191
Oh, man! Look at all
these people having brunch.
140
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:30,987
Is brunch funny?
141
00:05:30,993 --> 00:05:33,778
It is to me. I haven't
had brunch in 15 years.
142
00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:35,678
- You must be starving.
- I am.
143
00:05:35,684 --> 00:05:37,154
Oh, thank you.
144
00:05:37,745 --> 00:05:38,949
Thank you.
145
00:05:39,253 --> 00:05:41,558
- Uh-oh.
- Something wrong?
146
00:05:42,152 --> 00:05:45,467
You ordered pico on the
side. That is pico on the top.
147
00:05:45,473 --> 00:05:47,073
Oh, no biggie.
148
00:05:47,142 --> 00:05:49,432
Huh? "No biggie"?
149
00:05:50,026 --> 00:05:51,512
You don't wanna send it back?
150
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,723
Or make me send it back
151
00:05:52,729 --> 00:05:54,916
so the waiter doesn't hate
you for sending it back?
152
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,994
'Cause I-I will. I-I
can get her over here.
153
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,102
Nope. All ends up
in the same place.
154
00:06:02,212 --> 00:06:05,400
It... it does end
up in the same place.
155
00:06:05,812 --> 00:06:07,473
That's exactly right!
156
00:06:07,652 --> 00:06:10,163
Were you in a long-term marriage
or an underground bunker?
157
00:06:11,174 --> 00:06:12,669
I am starting to wonder.
158
00:06:13,168 --> 00:06:15,772
And I'm seeing the
world through...
159
00:06:16,475 --> 00:06:17,778
brand-new eyes.
160
00:06:17,863 --> 00:06:20,230
- You are? Mmm.
- Mm-hmm.
161
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:27,433
Mmm. I'm noticing things that
I've never noticed before.
162
00:06:27,439 --> 00:06:29,783
Me? You're noticing me?
163
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,989
I am noticing the
hell out of you.
164
00:06:36,727 --> 00:06:38,095
Is this okay?
165
00:06:38,101 --> 00:06:40,001
I'll tell you in a second.
166
00:06:47,392 --> 00:06:49,019
Yep, it is.
167
00:06:49,941 --> 00:06:51,310
Were you wearing those glasses
168
00:06:51,316 --> 00:06:53,409
when I saw you the
other day at the market?
169
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:56,011
I'm sure I was.
They're my glasses.
170
00:06:56,017 --> 00:06:57,715
Yeah. They're your glasses.
171
00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:59,629
Come on.
172
00:07:02,542 --> 00:07:03,882
Wow!
173
00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:07,146
Look at all this stuff.
174
00:07:07,152 --> 00:07:09,247
Dad really saved everything.
175
00:07:09,253 --> 00:07:13,450
Including Mom. She
looks great, though.
176
00:07:13,456 --> 00:07:14,676
Can I have her?
177
00:07:14,955 --> 00:07:16,155
Mm-hmm.
178
00:07:17,549 --> 00:07:19,628
She always hated
physical affection.
179
00:07:19,634 --> 00:07:21,455
- Yeah.
- Sorry, Mom.
180
00:07:22,447 --> 00:07:27,611
Yes, every awkward phase of your
lives has been lovingly preserved.
181
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,050
You're welcome, girls.
182
00:07:30,262 --> 00:07:32,274
What are we even
looking for here?
183
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,486
I don't know.
184
00:07:33,492 --> 00:07:35,644
Something that proves
that before I was a mom
185
00:07:35,650 --> 00:07:38,841
and just momming all the time,
that I was a female role model.
186
00:07:38,847 --> 00:07:41,117
- You were?
- Oh, look!
187
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,729
My old Girl Scout
sash! I got every badge.
188
00:07:43,735 --> 00:07:46,346
Uh, that's my Halloween
costume from college.
189
00:07:46,352 --> 00:07:48,068
- These are joke badges.
- Mmm.
190
00:07:48,172 --> 00:07:50,359
- See? This one's for binge drinking.
- _
191
00:07:50,365 --> 00:07:52,144
I earned a lot of
those sophomore year.
192
00:07:52,150 --> 00:07:54,755
Okay, fine. So I'm
not a role model.
193
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,259
Not a Michelle or
a Malala or an Amal
194
00:07:57,265 --> 00:07:59,746
or a Hillary or a...
Oprah or even a Gayle.
195
00:08:00,153 --> 00:08:01,538
If Mae did a report on me,
196
00:08:01,544 --> 00:08:05,263
it'd probably be titled
"Nevertheless, she did dishes."
197
00:08:05,269 --> 00:08:06,943
Uh, I think you're
being a little
198
00:08:06,949 --> 00:08:08,149
- hard on yourself.
- Mmm.
199
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,582
Well, that's easy
for you to say.
200
00:08:09,588 --> 00:08:14,105
She picked you. Mae is
doing her essay on you.
201
00:08:14,111 --> 00:08:15,433
Really?
202
00:08:15,692 --> 00:08:18,794
- Wow, I don't even like Mae.
- Ditto.
203
00:08:19,309 --> 00:08:21,928
I'm just kidding. She's
wonderfully acerbic.
204
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,781
I mean, could they
be less grateful?
205
00:08:23,787 --> 00:08:26,914
Come on. All kids are rotten.
You know that. Especially girls.
206
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,905
Besides, Mae is wrong about you.
207
00:08:28,998 --> 00:08:31,440
As I recall, you had a
great deal of gumption.
208
00:08:31,446 --> 00:08:33,247
- Gumption, yeah!
- Sure.
209
00:08:33,253 --> 00:08:36,520
- You were early to join the workforce.
- Uh-huh. You in high school.
210
00:08:36,526 --> 00:08:39,136
Didn't you work in
that mailbox store?
211
00:08:39,651 --> 00:08:41,385
It was a FedEx Kinkos.
212
00:08:41,453 --> 00:08:43,883
And I'm the only employee
who survived the merger.
213
00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:45,433
There you go!
214
00:08:45,439 --> 00:08:47,315
Well, my daughter
doesn't look up to me.
215
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:51,167
In fact, she looks down on me.
Why? Because I take care of her.
216
00:08:51,173 --> 00:08:54,011
So, tonight, I'm gonna
teach her a lesson.
217
00:08:56,473 --> 00:08:57,912
- Big date alert!
- _
218
00:08:57,918 --> 00:09:00,520
My buddy's getting laid
tonight. First time in two years.
219
00:09:00,526 --> 00:09:01,912
- Hot damn.
- Hey.
220
00:09:01,918 --> 00:09:03,483
Can you not tell people that?
221
00:09:03,489 --> 00:09:06,394
Come on, man. Don't worry.
It's a cone of silence in here.
222
00:09:06,707 --> 00:09:09,300
So, what did Lena say about
you going out with Lisa Apple?
223
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,107
I didn't tell her.
224
00:09:11,113 --> 00:09:13,085
Martin, you and Lena are
in a good place right now.
225
00:09:13,091 --> 00:09:14,723
- What are you...
- She didn't tell me who she was dating.
226
00:09:14,729 --> 00:09:16,800
Lena has history
with this woman.
227
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,203
She finds out that you're
doing stuff behind her back,
228
00:09:19,503 --> 00:09:20,703
there will be blood.
229
00:09:20,709 --> 00:09:23,391
Full disclosure is the key
to all healthy relationships.
230
00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,626
- Yeah.
- What do you think, A-town?
231
00:09:26,097 --> 00:09:28,410
- Let me run it by Camille. Mmm.
- You got it.
232
00:09:28,528 --> 00:09:31,738
And that is how it's done.
233
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,511
Hey, baby. Cy's gonna send
you a photo of my new haircut.
234
00:09:36,517 --> 00:09:37,717
Approve please.
235
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:41,986
Hey, gang.
236
00:09:41,992 --> 00:09:44,292
So, I'm out.
237
00:09:44,394 --> 00:09:46,027
- What?
- I'm out.
238
00:09:46,225 --> 00:09:47,891
I feel like too
much of my identity
239
00:09:47,897 --> 00:09:49,545
is wrapped in being a mom,
240
00:09:49,551 --> 00:09:51,374
so I'm gon' go get turnt.
241
00:09:52,447 --> 00:09:53,647
That's hilarious.
242
00:09:53,653 --> 00:09:55,059
Mae, how do I look?
243
00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:57,764
Like someone who wants to
regarded as a sexual object
244
00:09:57,770 --> 00:09:59,356
rather than a
three-dimensional person.
245
00:09:59,362 --> 00:10:03,449
Oh, you are so second
wave sometimes, Mae.
246
00:10:03,632 --> 00:10:06,843
Hey. What about my bake
sale tomorrow? Brondies?
247
00:10:06,849 --> 00:10:09,140
The recipe and ingredients
are on the kitchen counter.
248
00:10:09,146 --> 00:10:11,443
You're 14 and almost 16.
249
00:10:11,449 --> 00:10:13,116
I had a job when I was your age.
250
00:10:13,122 --> 00:10:15,917
So, I heard. She worked
in a mailbox store.
251
00:10:15,923 --> 00:10:18,620
Hey! It was a FedEx Kinkos.
252
00:10:19,095 --> 00:10:21,416
And I survived the merger!
253
00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:26,001
So, where we going tonight?
254
00:10:26,007 --> 00:10:28,434
Actually I just need you to drive
around the block for like an hour
255
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,167
so that my kids think
I'm out on the town.
256
00:10:30,173 --> 00:10:33,461
Hey... what? You-you-you all
dressed up to not go out on the town?
257
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,158
What's up with that?
258
00:10:35,164 --> 00:10:37,355
My daughter thinks
I'm a bad role model.
259
00:10:37,361 --> 00:10:39,371
Look, you need to stop
worrying about Little Mama
260
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:41,800
- and start worrying about Big Mama.
- Big Mama?
261
00:10:41,806 --> 00:10:44,377
Look, you looking all good.
You better go and hit that club.
262
00:10:44,383 --> 00:10:46,198
And I ain't talking
about no Sam's.
263
00:10:46,204 --> 00:10:48,573
- Are you talking about...
- The club club.
264
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,292
The clurb.
265
00:10:50,970 --> 00:10:53,993
Huh. The clurb.
266
00:10:55,466 --> 00:10:57,807
Yeah, I don't think
Big Mama can do that.
267
00:10:59,883 --> 00:11:01,400
Can Big Mama?
268
00:11:03,699 --> 00:11:05,919
It's getting kinda dark.
Why's it getting so dark?
269
00:11:05,925 --> 00:11:08,316
Because that's what happens
when the sun goes down.
270
00:11:08,322 --> 00:11:11,107
Why is nobody taking care of me?
271
00:11:11,524 --> 00:11:12,724
Who's there?
272
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:16,501
What was that? Milo, stop
rolling around for a second.
273
00:11:17,689 --> 00:11:19,721
Milo isn't here.
274
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:22,027
Tell me you heard that.
275
00:11:22,033 --> 00:11:26,778
Okay. Since I am the oldest and
least stupid, everyone follow me.
276
00:11:27,183 --> 00:11:29,191
- Where we going?
- Somewhere safe.
277
00:11:31,866 --> 00:11:33,066
Everybody in.
278
00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:36,214
This will be our panic
room till Mom gets home.
279
00:11:37,351 --> 00:11:39,955
Good call. If we get hungry,
we can eat Mom's insoles.
280
00:11:39,961 --> 00:11:43,438
And if we get bored, we can
journey into the dark web.
281
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,526
? Blame it on the
a-a-a-alcohol ?
282
00:11:48,532 --> 00:11:49,821
? Blame it on the vodka ?
283
00:11:49,827 --> 00:11:51,222
? Blame it on the Henny ?
284
00:11:51,228 --> 00:11:53,729
? Blame it on the blue
tap, got you feeling dizzy ?
285
00:11:53,735 --> 00:11:56,440
? Blame it on the a-a-alcohol ?
286
00:11:56,446 --> 00:11:59,655
? Blame it on the a-a-alcohol,
blame it on the... ?
287
00:11:59,661 --> 00:12:01,687
Hey, this place is pretty lit!
288
00:12:01,757 --> 00:12:03,368
We're not really open yet.
289
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:05,069
Still, it's pretty lit.
290
00:12:07,739 --> 00:12:09,438
Oh, my God. I love this song!
291
00:12:10,732 --> 00:12:12,147
Turn it up! Turn it up!
292
00:12:14,937 --> 00:12:17,413
? On the floors of Tokyo ?
293
00:12:17,419 --> 00:12:20,105
? Or down in London
Town to go, go ?
294
00:12:20,111 --> 00:12:22,892
? With the record selection
and the mirror's reflection ?
295
00:12:22,898 --> 00:12:25,358
? I'm dancing with myself ?
296
00:12:25,364 --> 00:12:28,170
? When there's no
one else in sight ?
297
00:12:28,176 --> 00:12:30,643
? In the crowded lonely night ?
298
00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:33,512
? Well, I wait so long
for my love vibration ?
299
00:12:33,518 --> 00:12:36,520
? And I'm dancing
with myself, oh, oh ?
300
00:12:36,526 --> 00:12:39,137
? Dancing with myself, oh, oh ?
301
00:12:39,143 --> 00:12:41,328
? Dancing with myself ?
302
00:12:41,334 --> 00:12:42,903
? Well, there's nothing to lose ?
303
00:12:42,909 --> 00:12:44,395
? And there's nothing to prove ?
304
00:12:46,286 --> 00:12:48,082
God, what am I doing here?
305
00:12:49,505 --> 00:12:52,631
- Hello?
- Hello?
306
00:12:52,725 --> 00:12:54,811
- Can you hear me?
- Yes.
307
00:12:55,011 --> 00:12:57,518
I drank too much
and it's your fault.
308
00:12:58,014 --> 00:12:59,309
My fault?
309
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:01,425
Because you were rude to me!
310
00:13:02,351 --> 00:13:04,243
- What? I...
- Yes, you were!
311
00:13:04,329 --> 00:13:06,936
Tell me the truth. Do you
want to break up with me?
312
00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:08,433
Do you?
313
00:13:08,639 --> 00:13:10,374
Hold on a sec.
314
00:13:14,432 --> 00:13:15,632
Oh, God.
315
00:13:21,341 --> 00:13:23,851
Hold on, honey. Come on.
Hold on. I'm coming in.
316
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,522
Hey.
317
00:13:29,036 --> 00:13:30,236
Hi.
318
00:13:30,616 --> 00:13:31,816
Oh, God.
319
00:13:32,842 --> 00:13:34,127
Hi.
320
00:13:34,255 --> 00:13:37,642
Hi. Okay.
321
00:13:38,336 --> 00:13:39,947
Ooh, wow.
322
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,541
How are you this drunk at 6:45?
323
00:13:42,547 --> 00:13:44,838
I don't think he loves me.
324
00:13:44,844 --> 00:13:47,286
Oh, oh, it's okay.
325
00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:49,864
No, it isn't! I love him.
326
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,683
Like, I'm in love with him.
327
00:13:51,886 --> 00:13:54,005
- I need his kisses.
- No, you don't.
328
00:13:54,011 --> 00:13:56,384
- And I need kisses.
- No, you don't.
329
00:13:56,390 --> 00:13:58,384
- I need kisses.
- Stop. Stop saying "kisses".
330
00:13:58,600 --> 00:13:59,899
I need kisses.
331
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:03,477
Listen. What you need is
a wet wipe, some Advil,
332
00:14:03,483 --> 00:14:05,275
and a travel-sized
bottle of mouthwash.
333
00:14:05,281 --> 00:14:07,865
Oh, my God. That
purse is everything.
334
00:14:08,017 --> 00:14:09,410
- It's magical.
- Okay.
335
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:10,791
You're magical.
336
00:14:11,275 --> 00:14:14,986
You are. Yeah, and it's time
that you embrace that, okay?
337
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:19,389
If we are gonna give away
the best parts of ourselves,
338
00:14:19,395 --> 00:14:22,604
then it better to
someone who deserves it.
339
00:14:23,014 --> 00:14:25,399
Alright? Because you're great.
340
00:14:25,494 --> 00:14:26,727
I'm great.
341
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:27,933
Here.
342
00:14:29,393 --> 00:14:31,393
You have a little
ranch on your dress.
343
00:14:32,007 --> 00:14:33,424
God, I hope it's ranch.
344
00:14:35,764 --> 00:14:37,774
I bet you'd be a
really great mom.
345
00:14:39,181 --> 00:14:40,456
You know what?
346
00:14:41,156 --> 00:14:42,938
I am a great mom.
347
00:14:46,951 --> 00:14:49,836
Oh, come... You're
going to be okay.
348
00:14:50,054 --> 00:14:54,570
Things are going to be
okay. They are, you know?
349
00:14:56,546 --> 00:14:57,746
Hello?
350
00:15:00,081 --> 00:15:01,379
Oh, my God.
351
00:15:06,487 --> 00:15:09,415
- Did you hear that? Did you hear that, Mae?
- Yes, I did.
352
00:15:09,421 --> 00:15:11,818
- Stranger danger!
- Please don't kill us!
353
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:16,742
How did you know
we were in here?
354
00:15:16,748 --> 00:15:18,177
Milo texted me.
355
00:15:18,271 --> 00:15:20,646
Are you here to help
me with my homework?
356
00:15:23,403 --> 00:15:24,603
Um...
357
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,608
Okay, so, what happened to Mom?
358
00:15:29,949 --> 00:15:32,871
- She just went AWOL.
- She didn't go AWOL!
359
00:15:32,877 --> 00:15:35,641
Why are you yelling? You don't
even know what "AWOL" means.
360
00:15:36,543 --> 00:15:38,269
I'd like to believe
our mother has embarked
361
00:15:38,275 --> 00:15:40,646
on a spiritual journey
to discover who she is
362
00:15:40,652 --> 00:15:43,514
outside of the label she
uses to define herself.
363
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:47,014
- On the eve of my bake sale.
- Okay, stop talking, all of you.
364
00:15:47,121 --> 00:15:48,396
I hope you little rats know
365
00:15:48,402 --> 00:15:50,004
that the only reason
anything ever good happens
366
00:15:50,010 --> 00:15:52,120
in this house is
because of your mother.
367
00:15:52,126 --> 00:15:54,013
Every birthday, every Christmas.
368
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:56,264
If it were up to me,
you would all live unfed
369
00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:58,288
and unclothed in the yard.
370
00:15:58,761 --> 00:16:00,873
- Now do your homework.
- I did my homework.
371
00:16:00,879 --> 00:16:02,576
Can you make dinner?
372
00:16:03,466 --> 00:16:05,159
Hey, don't ask her.
373
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:07,406
She's not here for
you. She's here for me.
374
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,800
Gross.
375
00:16:11,229 --> 00:16:12,616
I will make dinner.
376
00:16:13,103 --> 00:16:15,591
Hey, can you also make
brondies for my bake sale?
377
00:16:15,893 --> 00:16:17,905
- Brondies?
- Yeah.
378
00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:19,111
Martin.
379
00:16:21,370 --> 00:16:24,154
Bake sale? This is
going to be a disaster.
380
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,762
The only baking I do is
directly after waking.
381
00:16:27,144 --> 00:16:28,549
I'm not a baker.
382
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,550
Lucky for you,
this little lady is.
383
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,592
- You?
- No, not me. Her.
384
00:16:32,598 --> 00:16:35,220
Grandma Flour's Bakery
is only 1.3 miles away.
385
00:16:35,226 --> 00:16:37,701
They have 160 five-star reviews
386
00:16:37,707 --> 00:16:40,421
and their specialty is brownies.
387
00:16:40,724 --> 00:16:43,210
I don't know. Lena
always bakes from scratch.
388
00:16:43,216 --> 00:16:44,938
Why make things harder
than they have to be?
389
00:16:47,318 --> 00:16:50,505
"Why make things harder
than they have to be?"
390
00:16:51,509 --> 00:16:53,812
Kids, I'm going 1.3 miles.
391
00:16:53,818 --> 00:16:56,119
- You guys going to be okay for a minute?
- We'll be fine.
392
00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:57,522
Uh, keys.
393
00:16:57,623 --> 00:16:58,913
Oh, there.
394
00:17:02,827 --> 00:17:05,395
I wanna kiss you right now, but
I can't 'cause of these kids.
395
00:17:11,093 --> 00:17:12,468
You're so funny.
396
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,684
Oh, hello.
397
00:17:14,766 --> 00:17:16,009
Hi, Lena.
398
00:17:16,015 --> 00:17:18,092
- Lisa Apple's here.
- Dad invited her.
399
00:17:18,098 --> 00:17:19,621
Oh!
400
00:17:19,921 --> 00:17:22,956
Lisa, Lisa. And the Cult Jam.
401
00:17:23,830 --> 00:17:26,034
You're looking very
scholarly tonight.
402
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,402
Uh, I didn't realize
that Martin had
403
00:17:29,408 --> 00:17:32,293
hired you to help with the
kids, so what do we owe you?
404
00:17:39,702 --> 00:17:43,607
What'd we say... we said $13?
405
00:17:43,613 --> 00:17:45,613
- Yep. Okay.
- One, two, $12.
406
00:17:45,619 --> 00:17:46,870
It was $12.
407
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,340
Lena, where the hell were you?
408
00:17:50,346 --> 00:17:52,670
I was trying to
teach Mae a lesson.
409
00:17:52,676 --> 00:17:54,943
And I do think those kids are
ready for more responsibility.
410
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,347
I mean, when I
was their age, I...
411
00:17:56,353 --> 00:17:58,530
#SurvivedTheMerger.
412
00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,837
We know.
413
00:18:00,141 --> 00:18:02,936
But I agree, those kids should
be fending for themselves.
414
00:18:03,434 --> 00:18:05,762
And I'm sorry I didn't
tell you about Lisa Apple.
415
00:18:05,768 --> 00:18:08,342
I just... I didn't want you
to know that Lisa was a thing
416
00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:09,826
until I knew that
Lisa was a thing.
417
00:18:09,832 --> 00:18:12,321
And I certainly didn't want to
bring her around the kids that early.
418
00:18:12,327 --> 00:18:14,559
It's okay. It's Lisa Apple.
419
00:18:14,934 --> 00:18:17,626
You get to be with
someone young and fun.
420
00:18:17,632 --> 00:18:20,626
And I get to find out why she
wears those ridiculous glasses.
421
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:23,066
I'm really glad that we
can have this conversation
422
00:18:23,272 --> 00:18:25,179
- without fighting.
- Me, too.
423
00:18:25,566 --> 00:18:27,879
- We're good.
- We are good.
424
00:18:28,262 --> 00:18:30,775
Okay, well, we're gonna...
we're gonna get going.
425
00:18:30,781 --> 00:18:34,601
We? Oh, Lisa Apple and you.
426
00:18:34,919 --> 00:18:36,119
Right.
427
00:18:42,837 --> 00:18:44,098
Mom?
428
00:18:44,562 --> 00:18:45,762
Mae?
429
00:18:46,813 --> 00:18:49,262
- You okay?
- No.
430
00:18:53,873 --> 00:18:57,459
I'm a bad feminist
and daughter, too.
431
00:18:57,658 --> 00:19:00,695
What? Why would you say that?
432
00:19:01,393 --> 00:19:03,003
I mom-shamed you,
433
00:19:03,296 --> 00:19:06,104
which isn't at all in the
spirit of the movement.
434
00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:08,424
Oh, it's okay, sweetie.
435
00:19:08,979 --> 00:19:10,908
No, it isn't.
436
00:19:10,914 --> 00:19:13,309
And although I want you to
437
00:19:13,315 --> 00:19:16,174
break free of the domestic
chains that bind you...
438
00:19:16,180 --> 00:19:17,880
Nothing is binding me.
439
00:19:18,076 --> 00:19:21,406
No one is binding me, okay?
440
00:19:21,692 --> 00:19:23,891
I chose to do things this way.
441
00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:27,391
Work part-time so that I
can be home with you kids.
442
00:19:27,694 --> 00:19:29,895
And I think I'm doing
a pretty good job
443
00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:32,092
because look at how
cool you turned out.
444
00:19:32,098 --> 00:19:35,086
I know an entire cheerleading
squad that would beg to differ.
445
00:19:35,092 --> 00:19:37,124
Who cares about the
cheerleading squad?
446
00:19:37,262 --> 00:19:40,171
It's the band geeks who are
going to be running the world.
447
00:19:40,365 --> 00:19:42,062
The band geeks hate me, too.
448
00:19:42,969 --> 00:19:46,163
Sorry I acted like being
a mom wasn't important.
449
00:19:46,571 --> 00:19:49,423
I really didn't like how it felt
when you weren't home tonight.
450
00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:55,032
Because, nevertheless...
451
00:19:55,313 --> 00:19:57,247
she makes everyone feel safe.
452
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,622
Wait, why would the
band geeks hate you?
453
00:20:04,510 --> 00:20:07,054
I licked the clarinet
player's reed.
454
00:20:16,222 --> 00:20:18,527
- Wow.
- Yeah.
455
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,277
Well, that was worth
more than 12 bucks.
456
00:20:21,396 --> 00:20:25,365
- Gee, thanks.
- No, I'm serious. You could go pro.
457
00:20:25,678 --> 00:20:28,069
Your pillow talk
could use some work.
458
00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:30,275
Ugh, I'm sorry.
459
00:20:32,756 --> 00:20:35,609
I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry...
460
00:20:35,615 --> 00:20:39,497
for what happened at our
house with Lena and the kids.
461
00:20:40,132 --> 00:20:42,827
I know that's not what
either of us had in mind.
462
00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:45,935
Oh, what are you gonna
do? It is what it is.
463
00:20:47,888 --> 00:20:49,758
"It is what it is".
464
00:20:50,342 --> 00:20:52,398
I love this woman's outlook!
34359
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