All language subtitles for Midsomer murders s14e03

Yoo-hoo!
Hi!

Bernard?
Hm?

Dianne, it's me!
(WATER TRICKLES)

Dianne?

For goodness sake!

Dianne?!

"(RADIO PLAYS)"

Dianne, do you hear me?

(GASPS)

The body's upstairs, sir.

George.

Morning, John.

What the hell is this?

Someone's idea
of a bride in the bath?

It's a weird way to drown somebody.

Or drown one's self.

We'll know more when we get her out,
which has to be soon! Yes, sir.

OK, George.

Where's that photographer?

(SIREN WAILS)

(YAWNS)

Hi!

Poor girl.

A ligature.
Yeah.

So I doubt she drowned.

Sir, the dead girl is Dianne Price.

She's been ID'd by her housemate.

Her name?
Er, Jo Starling.

Where is she?
In the living room.

I'll be down in a minute.

Whoever did this
really wanted her to look the part.

Bag these.

So, how are you, Malcolm?
Keeping OK?

Mm.

And keeping busy?

(SIRENS WAIL)
Yeah.

What are all the police cars
doing in the village?

Dunno.

We're not used to the excitement.
Not in Great Worthy!

Miss Starling.

I'm Detective Chief Inspector
John Barnaby.

May I sit down?

Is it all right if I call you Jo?

I realise this has been
a terrible shock,
but I need to ask you questions.

Is that OK?

When did you last see Dianne?

Well...

..I didn't actually see her
this morning.

When I left for work,

she was in bed, in her room.

She was awake.
She called out and said...

..said "cheerio" and "take care".

What time was this?

(SIGHS) Just after seven.

Did she not go to work? No.
She was between jobs. Office work.

And when you arrived home,
what happened?

(STAMMERS)

I came back for lunch.

I called out, she didn't answer.

Then I-I saw the water.

Was there anyone outside?

No vehicles around?

No.

Tell me something, Jo,
was Dianne ever married?

What about boyfriends?

There was Simon. She lived with him
once in the village.

Then they split up
and she came to live here.

Do you know Simon's second name?

I think it was Fisher.

Yes, it was. It was Fisher.

Does he still live in the village?

No, he moved away.
Any idea where he went?

No.

There's a ladder in the back garden.
Does it belong there?

Yes, it's Mr Flack's.
He's the landlord.

Is he a good landlord?

Yes. He's a bit fussy, but he...

..he's all right.

Why? The bathroom... There are
no blinds, just a net curtain,

and the bedroom windows
have no curtains.

I know. Mr Flack promised to...
promised to put some up,

but he hasn't
got around to it yet.

Had you seen these before?

So, they weren't here
when you went out this morning?

No.

Do you recognise this?

Yes. It's Dianne's.

She always wore it.

On which hand?

Her right hand.

This finger.

Can you think of anyone
who would harm her?

No.

She was the... kindest,
most friendly person.

And to find her like that
in the bath,

and those flowers
and that writing...

Why?

There you go. Undercoat.

Er, that's about all, thank you.
How much is that, Bernard?

I think you better
get over to the cottage.

Why?

Because the place is swarming
with police, that's why!

(PHONE RINGS)

Yeah?
"Sam?"

"It's me, Jo."
Hi, Jo.

Look...

I won't...

I can't get back into work today.

That's OK. Anything wrong?

You all right?
"(SOBS)"

Jo? What is it?

"Tell me, please."

Hang on, Bernard,
I'll come with you.

How long's he been like this?
Oh, since yesterday afternoon.

She likes clambering
on the rocks down by the pond.

At your age, Rosie?
You should be taking things easy.

I'm fairly sure it's a sprain.
Mm.

Hello, Sam!

What's wrong?
It's Dianne.

She's dead.

Someone broke into the cottage
and... killed her.

Excuse me!
Sorry, sir, I can't let you.

Let me through! I need to get in!
No-one can pass.
I need to get in there now!

Yes, can I help you? You can help
all right, I wanna come in.
No-one's allowed in.

But I'm the landlord.
I want to know what's going on.
I've a right to know.

OK.
Mr Flack?

Yes?
Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby.

This is Detective Sergeant Jones.

I still want to know
what's going on. A very serious
crime has taken place here.

Serious crime?
Then, I definitely want to come in.

I want to see what's happened to my
property! Just listen to them!
I'm a friend of Dianne and Jo.

And your name is?
Orchard. David Orchard.

When you say serious crime...?

I'm afraid Dianne Price is dead.

She's been murdered.

"(LOUD CHEERING ON TV)"

(WOMAN SNORES)

All done here, John.
Thanks, George.

(SIGHS) Miss Starling...

It's all right,
your friend is no longer in there.

Do you, by any chance,
recognise that writing?

How about the colour of the lipstick?

It was the kind Dianne always wore.
She liked bright red lipstick.

Would you show us her room, please?

Yvonne, guess what's happened.
I've already heard.

That's one less bit of skirt
for you to peep at.

Them police at the cottage,
I wonder what they'll make
of your hidey-holes.

I haven't been in here since...
since it happened.

I didn't want to touch anything.

Where did Dianne keep her lipstick?

Oh. They used to be all over
the top of the dressing table.

She loved her lipsticks,
she had loads of them.

Now they've all gone.

Would you be kind enough to give
Sergeant Jones a list of all those
who were close to Dianne?

Of course.
Thank you.

What else can you tell us
about your landlord?

Mr Flack?

He's OK.

He often comes here to...
fiddle around,

repairing and improving things,
even if they don't need fixing.

You can't come in here, madam.
One of my friends in is here. OK.

Fran!

Poor Jo!
What you must've been through!

Mr Barnaby, this is Fran Carter.
Mr Barnaby's in charge
of the investigation.

John.

I'm the local vet. Known to every
living creature in the area,
but not the police!

Is there anything I can do to help?

I'm fine!
No, you're not.

I've got a spare room. What if I
put Jo up while you investigate?

I think that would be a good idea.
Great.

When I finish work, I'll come
and fetch you. Around sevenish.

Not like you to have flowers
like those in the house, Jo.
They're far too tacky!

Sorry, have I said something wrong?

You've seen flowers like those
before? Yes. Why? I was only asking.

Where have you seen them?

All right.
Cheers, mate.

That's terrible. Who'd wanna kill
Dianne? She never bothered anyone.

Thanks. I need this.

Was it a sex attack?

I don't know.
The police wouldn't tell us. They
wouldn't let me into the cottage.

Of course they wouldn't. If I was
still in the force, Bernard,
I'd have given you the bum's rush!

I didn't go there just to look!
Well, we saw you going past.
In a bit of a hurry, as well.

I'm the landlord. I wanted to know
if any damage had been done.

Who cares? What about the girl
that's been killed?

I think we should pray for her.

I expect we will at the
funeral service. Now, I mean now.

She was one of us.
A neighbour. We know that.

So I think we should all
go to the church right now
and pray for her poor, lost soul.

Come on, David, I've got a pub
to run. Same again, Frank?

Thanks, mate.
I've got to get off, too.

We're all still thinking about her,
David.

We'll never stop doing that.

They're, er, all ã2.50.

No, no, I don't want to buy them.
I wanna talk about them.

I'm Detective Sergeant Jones.
Causton CID.

And you are?

M-Malcolm.

Malcolm who?

M-Malcolm M-Merryman.

And do you own the place?

No.

My m-mum and dad do.
Ah!

How many of these have you sold
in the last few days, Mr Merryman?

None.

Who usually buys them?

Travellers... mostly.

Can you remember the last traveller
who bought a bunch?

How am I supposed to...
remember people I don't know?

So, they get nicked a lot, do they?

Probably.

I don't count them.

Do you have CCTV?

Nah.
Nah.

Can't afford it.

(BELL RINGS)

(CHATTER)

'Oh, Chief Inspector,
please come in.'

It's my half day. Excuse the mess.

What do you teach, Mr Orchard?
History and French.

And I believe you were teaching
Dianne Price on a private basis.

That's right.
A bit of basic French, part time.

Not that I have that much
spare time.

Poor Dianne.

I'm told she was out of work. Could
she afford to pay you for lessons?

I never charged her.

You mean you did it for love?

Money doesn't always matter.
Teaching's a two-way thing.

We gain from it,
we get something back.

Besides, I also have a fiancee.
Ahh!

Excuse me, I'll just...

When did these lessons take place?
Er, mostly during the evenings.

When was the last one?

Er, last Thursday, I think.

Yeah, it was. At the cottage.

How was she?

Oh, her usual self. In good spirits.

Er, not troubled by anything,
apart from finding work,

and she was quite optimistic
about that.

So sad.

Terribly sad.

So, what does your fiancee
think about all this?
Louise? She won't mind.

I'm doing it for her. Well, for us.

She lives in Great Worthy?
South Africa. She's out there on a
contract. Teaching. Marvellous job.

Good money
and, like me, she's saving hard

and when she decides to terminate
the contract, she'll come back
and we get married.

The school don't mind me making
changes, out of my own expense.

And they want Louise
to be teaching here.

The problem is, I've got to get it
finished before she comes back.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, good luck!

Thank you.

Sorry, mate, you can't park there.
Visitors' carpark's on the far side.

I'm looking for Sam Tomlin.
That's me.

Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby,
Causton CID.

Look, if it's about the murder,
I don't see how I can help you.

I'm told you were
a friend of Dianne's.
Yeah. We were kind of mates.

How close?

Just mates.

This is Walter.
Hello, Walter.

He's too old to go out and graze.
There you go, old fella!

Dianne used to like coming here.

When did you last see her?
Must've been a couple of days ago.

She came in to see Jo.

Good-looking girl like Dianne,
I'm surprised you weren't
more than mates.

Me? No.

I tried to get close to her a couple
of times, but she didn't wanna know.

So, what can you tell me
about her ex-boyfriend?

He was a plonker.

Worked in some tacky office.
That's where she met him.

Look, why don't you speak to my
mother? She's in the gift shop.

She works here?
She owns the place.

She knows all about
the people of Great Worthy.
She married most of them.

To set you mind at rest,
Chief Inspector,

I'm not some female Bluebeard!

I once served the area as registrar.

Until I decided to retire.

Ahh!
It's my son's pathetic joke.

He's fond of telling everyone that
I've married most of the locals.

(CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS) So,

who killed her?

Do you know?

It must've been someone
from outside the village.

Why? Because she was liked.
I can't think of anyone
who'd want to hurt her.

What about her ex, Simon Fisher?
No, he was too much of a wimp!

I hope you're gonna pay for those!

Have you hosed down the yard yet?
I'll get round to it.
I want it done now!

He must think we're made of money!

I suppose you rely solely
on donations.

Yes, we do.

What made you retire
from the marriage business?

I'd grown weary of it.

It's pure hypocrisy.

Dianne Price's body was dressed up
to look like a bride.

Can you think of any reason
why that would happen?

No.

None whatsoever.

(TRAIN HORN TOOTS)

Is that what I think it is?

It's not a working line, sir,
just a heritage site.

So it's all retired donkeys
and steam trains around here?

It's no-go with the dead woman's
ex-boyfriend, sir.

He's got a fool-proof alibi
on the night of the murder.

And he lives in London now.
I don't blame him.

Thank you.
(LAUGHING)

Mrs Nikki Rowntree?

Yes. Detective Chief Inspector
Barnaby, Causton CID.

This is - Oh, we know who this is!
It's Ben Jones.

In a naff suit.

Hello, Matt.

Must be... six years

since you deserted the boys in blue?

Yeah, something like that.

Then again, Uniform must've been
glad to get rid of you.

I know I was.

We used to work together,
Chief Inspector. On the beat.

But only when we had to, though, eh?

So, what can we do for you?

Dianne Price.
We believe she used this pub.
Yeah. Poor thing. She was a local.

Does that mean she came in
most days?

No. She wasn't exactly a boozer!

When was she last in?
Er...

Sunday, wasn't it?
Yeah, it was quiz night.
She always came on a quiz night.

Was she on her own?
No.

She was with Jo Starling, her
flatmate, and Fran Carter, the vet,

and also Sam from the sanctuary.

They often drank together.

Had you ever seen Dianne
drinking with anyone else?

I can't remember.

I hope you find whoever did it,
otherwise you'll have my old man
back in the force.

He used to kick the crap
out of the weirdos.

Thank you.

Oh! Chief Inspector!

Your oppo... Back in the old days,
we used to call him Jonah.

Not because of his name.
Just because he'd always
put the mockers on things.

He'd wreck all your plans.
Turn a good day into a bad one.

Hey?!

Someone should tell this village
it's lock-up-your-daughters time
with them. Why?

He liked the low life.
She used to exploit young women.
They're bad news.

They speak well of you.

If I had a degree in psychology, I'd
know how to let things wash over me,
but I can't!

Oh, dear. Sorry to hear that.

What is it? I just don't like seeing
people from my past, that's all.

Oh, that!

Come on.

The past is the past.
Just forget about it.

I tell you what I'm gonna do.
I am gonna make you happy tonight.

That's better!

(LEAVES RUSTLE)

Oh, hello, Chief Inspector.

Mr Flack.

You're lucky. We're about to close
in five minutes.

This is my wife, Yvonne.

This is Chief Inspector Barnaby.

Nice to meet you, Mrs Flack.

What a pleasure it is to find a shop
like this. We do our best to please.

I'm sure you do.

I get lost in those big DIY stores.

And no-one is helpful.

Talking of DIY, I visited
Mr Orchard's house at the school.

He's set himself a bit of a task.

Oh, we do all right out of David.

Why's that?
He's too fussy.

Ahh.

I'd like these, please.

Could you tell me where you were
this morning, Mr Flack,
between 7:00am and 1:00pm?

I was here in the shop.
We were doing the accounts
before we opened up.

Is that right, Mrs Flack?

Yes!

I'm sorry to have to ask
such a question,

but it's all part
of our investigation.

How much is that?

Hello, fella!

(CHUCKLES)
No, it's nothing for you!

Hello, darling.
Three-dozen cup hooks.

Why? We don't have three-dozen cups.

And... spare bath plugs.

Always handy.

Right. I've had a tough day, so it's
Chinese. I'll warm the plates,
you get the food.

Do you know anything about
the Brides in the Bath murders?

No. 1912.
Meant to look like accidental death.

What's the best way to drown someone
without signs of a struggle?

I don't even want to think about it.
Well, you pull them up
by their feet.

Drag them under.

Right.
That's what George Joseph Smith did.
That's what he was hanged for.

Old murders can be fascinating.
There's a lot to learn from them.

Chicken chow mein.

'(SOFT MUSIC PLAYS)'

♪ Because I'm still in love with you

♪ I wanna see you dance again

♪ Because I'm still
in love with you ♪

Hello?

Hello?

Bit of an emergency.
One of our customers.

That old biddy from Castle Street.
She just telephoned.

Her taps don't work and she can't
get a plumber, so I said I'd help.

I never heard the phone.

Well, it rang.
You must've been busy.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello. Fran?

Jo, it's me. Sam.
"Oh."

Hi, Sam.
"Are you OK?"

I'm fine. Fine.

I was wondering if I could come
over. See if I can help in any way.

Not right now. It's difficult.
"How do you mean?" I'm busy.

I'm waiting for Fran to pick me up.
I'm spending a few nights at hers.

(WIND CHIMES JANGLE)

"(TV PLAYS IN BACKGROUND)"

"(CHEERING ON TV)"

I'll be back later.

I said I'll be back later!

We heard you.

I won't be in tonight.
I'm going to the pub.

I've started supper.

(SLAMS DOOR)

You still here?!

And how are you, Malcolm?

F-Fine... thanks.

Still getting 'em in
and filling 'em up?

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Just about.

I bet you're a right little charmer
with all those lady drivers, eh?

(GIGGLES)

Boom-boom!

Thanks.

So,

where were you
when your friend died, eh?

Eh?
You see, that's your trouble, Sam.

You're so busy saving the whales
and the rainforests, you're never
around when you're needed.

He's in a right mood.

What have you done to upset him,
Sam? Nothing.

George Henry Lamson.
poisoned his brother-in-law
with a slice of Dundee cake.

Then there was William Palmer,
another poisoner.

Guess what he said when he stood
on the gallows trap door.

I have no idea.
He said, "Is this thing safe?"

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Most of them thought
that they were pretty clever.

But not many of them
could outwit Sir Bernard Spilsbury,
Home Office pathologist of the time.

Even in those days, he could
work with the minimal amount
of human remains.

And you say you learn from that?
Yes.

We have to think like the murderers.

What about your profession,
teachers? What about them?

Well, do they ever try to think
like the children they teach?

Share their games,
their sense of humour.
Let their imaginations run riot.

That wouldn't make sense, would it?

No, I suppose it wouldn't.

Time, gentlemen, please!
Drink up now, thank you!

Night, all.

Night, Sam.
See you.

Ta-da.

Told you I was gonna make you happy
the way you like it.

'(LAUGHTER)'

(ENGINE CHUGS)

Morning, Sam.
Morning, Tom.

(SWING MUSIC)

(STEAM HISSES)

Got your tea.

I don't know what I'd do
without you. I do.

You'd go back to town.
Start cruising the kerbs again
late at night.

Couldn't leave it alone, could you?

(SOFT ROCK MUSIC)

Do you remember those lonely days
when you were at college in Durham
and I was working in London?

I wasn't lonely.

I was.

Keys! Keys!

Over there.
Oh. Thanks.

And all we really wanted to do
was get married and stay together,
but we had to wait.

Right.
And that's faith. Blind faith.

If you say so.

And I admire anyone
who has faith like that.

I'm late.
I wouldn't have guessed.

(PHONE RINGS)

Barnaby.

(STEAM HISSES)

Why here, for God's sake?

John.

(COUGHS)

These were on top apparently.
Same flowers.

Sir.

Yes, same as the other victim.
Strangulation.

Whoever did it had to dismember her
to get her into the basket,
hence the blood.

First impressions suggest
some kind of saw was used
to sever her lower limbs.

Another bride.

Same colour lipstick.

"Not wanted on voyage".
Some joke, eh?

Does the basket belong here?
No, sir. The volunteer staff
have never seen it before.

Where could it have come from?
Anywhere.

There's blood on this trolley.
My guess is that she was driven here

and then wheeled in on this.

(SIGHS) If whoever's responsible
is local, and I'm sure they are,
let's keep them contained.

I want extra police presence
in the village. Yes, sir.

Then get over to Miss Carter's house
and surgery, check the place out.

Ben, take a couple of my people
with you.

She may have been murdered there.
Right.

All this...

It could be 1934.

A body found in a trunk
on Brighton Station.

What's this killer playing at?

Thanks for your help.
That's all right.

(RINGS BELL)

Oh, hello, Mr Orchard.
Morning, Len. Come on in.

Thank you.

Olive! Mr Orchard!
"(TV PLAYS LOUDLY)"

Ooh, hello, Mr Orchard.
Hello, Olive.

I've got the groceries
you asked for! That's very kind.

And here's your prescription!
Oh, good.

I'll put your change on here,
shall I? Yes, that's fine!

You're a good man.
Yes.

Better than that lazy,
good-for-nothing son of ours.

Cup of tea, Mr Orchard?
No!

I could buzz Malcolm,
get him to come and make you one.

No, no, that's fine!
I've got to meet a friend.

"(LOUD CHEERING ON TV)"

I've found it! White estate!

(DOOR OPENS)

Ahh!

(SIGHS)

(VEHICLE APPROACHES)

We better wait for Mr Bullard.

Morning, Liz.

Morning.

I managed to buy
your favourite ice buns.

Oh, David, you spoil me!

How's Louise?
Ah, fine. Still working hard
in the sunshine she tells me.

And she's been offered a promotion.
Deputy head. Oh.

Will she take it?
No, she wants to come home.

Ya will, ya will, ya will, ya will,
ya will! Oooh!

Yum! Thank you.

Just promise me one thing.

Don't have kids! I've left it
too late for that, I'm afraid.

That son of mine!

From the moment he was born,
we've never got on.

The times when I could... Oh!

(CHUCKLES)

And marriages... I've seen too many.

You were marvellous at your job.
Because I tried to be different.

That superintendent registrar
who thought differently.

That man belonged
in the Middle Ages!

(SIGHS) When I look back

through all those clumsy brides
and ugly grooms,

ghastly clothes
and awful family and friends...

(LAUGHS)

And all that bloody confetti!

Cheers.
Cheers.

(STEAM HISSES)

Could be back in time,
waiting for a train.

A day out by the sea,
all for 30 bob.

I know I've seen it all in my job,

but that poor woman didn't deserve
what happened to her.

Nor the girl in the bath.

Get this maniac.

I will.

See you later.

And, John...

Glad you're here.

Bernard.
Another woman's been murdered.

Who?
Fran Carter, the vet!

So you better watch
what you're doing!

She promised to collect me
yesterday evening.

I waited and waited
and then I gave up.

Thank you.

Please, tell me what's happening!

I mean, Fran of all people!

Can you tell us about her friends?

The only ones she had seemed
to be working at the sanctuary.

She liked living alone.

She did have a close friend once,
but she left the village.

What about the locals?
She got on with everybody.

Mr Flack, my landlord, liked her.

David used to tease her.
David?

David Orchard.

He told her he was thinking
of buying a pet just so
he could see more of her.

He's such a kind person.

I was in a bad way once.

I was in love with a man
who was already married.

And David talked to me,
he helped me get through it.

Anyone else?
Yes. Sam at the donkey sanctuary.
He tried to chat her up once.

Did he get lucky?
No. He wasn't her kind.

Anyway, Sam likes his girls
weak and helpless.

I'm sorry?

We used to joke about it,

saying if there was a maiden
chained to a rock,

he'd be the first to get there
before the dragon came,

but he'd take his time
releasing her!

Because he wanted
to enjoy the moment.

(SOBS)

Maidens chained to rocks. Now,
there's one for the psychologists.

Do you know something, Jones?
Yes, sir?

I spent a lot of my time and all
of my savings to get my degree.

It was important to me.

And if it doesn't help me
to understand you,
it helps me to understand others.

(BIRDS TWEET)

If it wasn't for my animals,
I would pack a bag

and leave here
until all this madness is over!

What is happening to this village?

We're told that Fran once had
a close friend who moved away.

Yes, a female partner.

They were going to undergo
a civil partnership registration,

that was while I was in office,

but the relationship failed
before I could marry them.

Good girl.

Are you married, Sergeant?

Me? No.

Oh, well, then,
Great Worthy's the place for you!

There are far more single women here
than men. You can take your pick!

Can I think about that?
Of course!

We have a fine church!
Although, that prick of a vicar
would drive you out of your mind!

We have a wedding there today!
God help them if he launches
into one of his sermons. Ooh!

Is your son at home, Mrs Tomlin?

Yes, yes, he is.

Why?
We'd like a word with him.

He's, erm, in the big field,
nursing a hangover.

He knows he won't get
any sympathy from me!

Was he out last night.
Yes.

He was. In the pub. Till late.

Thank you.

Ahh...

Fiver.

Eh?

I donated last time.

A fiver?!

Would you like to adopt a donkey,
Chief Inspector?

Er, no, thanks.

I've already got one.

Afternoon, Mr Tomlin.

Hi.
How's the head?

We hear you had a good session
last night. The Signalman? Yes.

Until when?
Closing time.

Then what?
I came home.

Straight home?
Yeah.

Why are you asking me all this?
Fran Carter was killed last night.

So I've heard.

You think I did it? We have to ask
questions of everyone.

Especially those who weren't home
last night.

Walk on.

Are you in a relationship
at the moment?

No. What's that got to do with you?

Come on, walk on.

It's a lovely place you have here.
All the animals look happy
and contented.

I care about all kinds
of defenceless creatures.

And is that how you like your women?

Vulnerable?
Needing to be looked after?

Is that what turns you on?

Of course not!

Thank you, Mr Tomlin.
You've been very helpful.

Our killer is obviously
fond of weddings.

Maybe we should go to one.

(WOMAN) There's the car.

Open the door for me, please.
Thank you.

Hold it there.
Lovely.

So, what's your view
on Peeping Toms?

They should have their eyes put out
and their nuts nailed to a door!

No, I'd say most voyeurs
would rather watch
than cause physical harm.

So I wonder what would make one
actually decide to kill.

I don't know, sir.

Being found out? Being confronted?

Why don't you go and talk to
Bernard Flack?

Tell me some more
about your friend the publican.

Matt? He's no-one's friend.

Except that tart he's married to.

She was Nikki Grafton,
owner of an escort service.

Well, that's the polite word for it.

An up-and-under knocking shop.
A brothel, catering mostly
for sadomasochists.

(WOMAN) Has it started?

Come on, girl. I hope she's
not late for her own wedding.
(BRIDAL MARCH PLAYS)

When we busted the house,
it was full of all the usual stuff,
whips, butt plugs, bondage kits,

crazy costumes for dressing up.

Madam Fantasy.

Eh?
It was her working name.

So, what was Matt's involvement?

He was assisting the arresting
officers, but no-one realised
he was having an affair with Nikki.

And he was done for this? No.
He resigned from the force before
they had time to catch up with him.

Hm. So he ends up here
with Madam Fantasy.

Yeah.

You told the police I went to the
pub last night. Why shouldn't I?

What else did you tell them?
For goodness sake!

I hope that when they found Fran's
body, it was covered in rose petals
and confetti.

What are you suggesting?!

Well, how the hell
do you think it looks?

I wish your father were still alive!
I don't! Poor sod lived in fear
of you!

All your marriages, and you couldn't
even keep your own one together!
Go to hell! I'm already there!

(SOFT ORGAN MUSIC)

We know that she
was killed outside her home.
Probably dismembered there.

And her car? Used to transport
the basket and the body.

There were traces of
white silk fibre in the neck wound.

The first victim
had the same traces of fibre.

(SIGHS)

Was Fran Carter sexually assaulted
before she was killed? No.

And Dianne Price?
The same.

I'd say we're looking at someone
who kills just for the fun of it.

Thank you.

In London, during World War II,

a psychopathic GI serviceman

killed several young women
then dressed their bodies up.

When he was arrested
he said that he only did it

because he wanted to look at them
after death.

Old murders, George. I read a lot.

Maybe our killer does the same.
Mm.

Good night.
Good night, John.

Off to the pub again?

Maybe.

(SIGHS)

Remember why we moved here
in the first place?

No!

We needed a sanctuary ourselves.

From all the bad things.

But now it's all coming in on us.

How many people in this village
know you were kicked out of your
last job? I was not kicked out!

The odds were stacked against me.
It was a conspiracy.

How many people know?
(SIGHS)

No-one.

What about the police?
Don't worry about the police.
I can deal with them!

Like you deal with everything?

This place is all we've got left.

Don't screw it up!

Thanks very much. You OK, Malcolm?

Yes. Thanks.

So, where's, erm...

(STAMMERS) ..Matt?

He's taking the evening off.
He's not well. Do you want a top-up?

Er... No.

I've got to get home.
Oh, that's a shame.

You've got me all to yourself
this evening.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(GATE SQUEAKS)

(LEAVES RUSTLE)

(WIND CHIMES JANGLE)

(DOG BARKS)

Mum? Dad?

'(CHATTER / LAUGHTER)'

Mummy?

"(GUNFIRE / SHOUTING ON TV)"

Mum? Dad?

(WIND CHIMES JANGLE)

(FOOTSTEPS THUD)

(CLOCK TICKS LOUDLY)

Over here.

In the house.

(SIRENS WAIL)

(SIRENS WAIL)

"(EXPLOSIONS ON TV)"

(SIGHS)

Why these poor devils?
Can't work it out, sir.

What have they got to do
with young brides?

Well, the wedding theme
is the same, but why these two?

They're an elderly couple.

There's no breathing space
with this maniac.

Maniac's the word.

We're probably wasting our time
looking for a rational explanation.

(SIRENS WAIL)

'(WHISTLING)'

(PERSON WHISTLES BRIDAL CHORUS)

(WHISTLING GROWS LOUDER)

(GATE CREAKS)

(LOUD WHISTLING)

(WHISTLES)

(SHRIEKS)

(CONTINUES TO WHISTLE)

(LIGHT BUZZES)

(MAN WHISTLES)

(SIRENS WAIL)

Stop! Stop!

(SOBS)

David?

What is this? What are you doing?
There's nothing to be afraid of, Jo.

Today's the big day.

It's the day of all days.

It's your wedding day.

Please don't hurt me, David.

I'm here to help you
on that big day.

No, no, David, please.
Because today...

..you'll be married to God.

(SHRIEKS)
You evil... bitch!

(SCREAMS)

(RADIO) "Could you repeat
your position, please?"

"Repeat your position."

Back-up, soon as possible!
Ssh!

(BANGING)

(GASPS FOR AIR)

(COUGHS)

(DAVID) She needed to be saved!

Get an ambulance!

It's OK, JO. It's OK.
Everything's all right.

It's OK, JO. It's OK.

How's it going?

Nearly there.
I'll be with you in a minute.

Sorry to have kept you waiting,
Mr Orchard. Things to do.

Is there any coffee going
in this place?

Y-Yeah, I'll get you one.

Another one for you, Mr Orchard?
No, thank you.

Apologies for the mess.

I found this in your room.

Would you like to tell me
what's inside?

Lipsticks.

Lots of them.

Most of them...

..bright red.

I'd say they came from
Dianne Price's cottage.

Am I right?

Mr Orchard, I take it you know
what you've done.

I take it you realise.
Yes.

Then, why? Why did you do it?

I mean, why did you kill?
You have everything to live for -
a good job, a nice house.

Well, it will be when I've finished
working on it.

And you have a loving sweetheart who
just can't wait to get home to you.

Dianne Price...
Charming girl. She was.

And not an easy one to teach so...

Really hadn't the patience for
French, and it needs patience.

You made her a bride.
Yes, I did.

Why would you want to do that?
Er...

I suppose...
to bring things up to date.

To make sure that she was a bride
in the eyes of God.

'(DOORBELL RINGS)'
I said, er, "Dianne, I'm sorry
to drop in on you like this."

That's OK! Come in.
It's good to see you. Cheers.

I had to change the wheel of my car
a few yards away.

May I use your bathroom?

OK. Look, go on up.

Thank you.

I'll get you a clean towel.

No, no, please. I can make do.
I insist!

By the way, how's the French going?
(LAUGHS) Tres bien, monsieur!

But she couldn't be a proper bride
in the eyes of God
without a wedding gown, could she?

Is that what the flowers were about?
To make a mockery of her?

But why did she have to die?

Because she'd sinned.

She was living in sin with a man
in this very village.

And that was wrong.
It was up to me to put things right.

I would never dream
about making love to someone
outside of marriage.

So, you've been saving yourself.

Mm-hm.

(CLEARS THROAT)
What about Jo Starling?

Even worse. She was having an affair
with a married man.

I was hoping that one day
he'd leave his wife for me.

It was a lie.
You have to forget him, Jo.

I said,
"Jo, you've got to forget him."

'You must.'

And you will.

In time.

So her sinfulness was something else
you had to put right.

Yes. It was my duty.

'I had to deliver her
from all evil.'

(SCREAMS)

And as for poor Fran Carter,
I think I can guess that one.

She wanted to get married,
but to another woman,

and I suppose that was also a sin
in your eyes.

Times have changed, Mr Orchard.

And you're a teacher,
you should know.

'I suppose Fran had no worries about
opening the door to you at night,

even with a murderer in the village,

because you're dear, sweet David,
Mr Nice Guy.'

'How can she possibly be afraid
of you?'

And so we get to the really weird
one. old Mr and Mrs Merryman.

What harm could they possibly
have done?

They'd also sinned.
They told you this?

Er, Len Merryman.

Bring 'em in here, Mr Orchard.
Don't know what we'd do without you!

"(TV PLAYS LOUDLY)"

That son of ours
is such a lazy bastard!

But then he is a bastard!

Me and Olive never got married,
you see. Never got round to it!

(OLIVE LAUGHS)

So that was something else
you had to... deal with

in the name of God.

Well, your version of it.

"(TV PLAYS LOUDLY)"

Is that you, Malcolm?

A recreation of a dead bride
in the bath and a trunk murder. Why?

I-I teach modern history from 1792

to the Age of Enlightenment
up until the 1950s.

And?
Er, well...

Sensational murder stories of the
past have always appealed to me.

I love the newspaper headlines
of the day. They were so graphic,
so detailed.

And those marvellous crowds outside
the prison gates on execution days.

And what about
the killing of the Merrymans,

how does that echo a past murder?

Er, well, I suppose
I-I couldn't find one to fit

and, er,
I-I was a bit pushed for time.

So, what made you flip, Mr Orchard?

What was it that pushed you over
the edge? What made you kill?

I think I know. Your fiancee...
She's not coming back, is she?

And after almost three years of you
doing up this place and still
staying celibate,

she decided to dump you.
Oh, it's true.

I looked in your study.
I looked in your bedroom.
I searched through all that junk.

She seems to have stopped
writing to you on a regular basis
just over a year ago.

Do you want me to get
all those letters?

Or shall we just talk about...

one letter?

One that arrived...

..a couple of weeks ago.

It was in your bedroom.

South African stamp.

Would you like to read it aloud
for us?

All right, then. I'll read it.

It's very brief.

"Dear David, I apologise for all
the hurt I must've caused you
during the past year by not writing,

but the truth is I met someone else
and I'm now married."

"Hope you are OK
and getting on with your life."

"Much love, Louise."

After all this time spent
obeying God,

you wanted your reward.

You deserved the church bells and
the flowers and the blushing bride,

and when you couldn't have them,
you decided to punish the sinners.

Did you think you were
doing God's work, Mr Orchard?

Did you think you were God?

Get him out of here.

(SIRENS WAIL)

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