All language subtitles for MacGyver (2016) - 02x14 - Mardi Gras Beads + Chair.LOL.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

_

[WIND HOWLING]

_

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

Keep your foot on that!

I want to hear you say it!

It was a bad idea getting
in this thunder box!

Hey, if you want to leave,
the door is right there.

This mission was supposed to be easy.

Fly to a beautiful island nation,

crash a government shindig and get proof

of a brewing coup d'etat.

Which we did! Mission accomplished!

Mission not accomplished!

Number one: we just found
evidence that not one,

but two generals were planning
to overthrow the government.

Not exactly a good idea
to wait out the storm

in a building locked with them, okay?

And number two...

- Hey! Do me a favor!
- Huh?

You keep number one and number
two out of this, you hear me?

All right, fair enough.

That was a bad choice of words.

That was definitely the
worst choice you made

in the last 20 minutes.

[GRUNTING]

MACGYVER: The structural
integrity of these things

is actually pretty solid, because of the

one-piece molding, the-the
lightweight polymer.

Portable toilet facts?

Really? That's the last thing
that I'm gonna hear before I die?

We're not gonna die! We're not gonna die!

Okay? We're gonna be fine.

I don't think we're in agreement
on what the word "fine" means.

Okay, okay, all right, fine!

You're right. It was a bad idea!

Probably one of the
worst ideas I've ever had.

[SIGHS] But I'm allowed to be wrong

every now and then, aren't I?

I don't disagree, but this
time, it may be the last time.

♪ ♪

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

So, dinner's going great, man.

She's laughing, I'm laughing.

Then about halfway through,
Bruce Willis's name comes up.

- I'm not really sure how.
- I could imagine why.

So, she looks at me
deadpan straight-faced

and goes, "Bruce Willis?

Was that the old guy
from The Expendables?"

- Did she say it like that?
- It's not how

- she said it, it's what she said.
- And what'd you say?

- I said, "Check, please."
- Hold on. No second date?

- No way.
- All right. No. Stop.

- You got to stop doing this.
- Stop doing what?

Coming up with ridiculous
reasons to stop dating people.

That's not a ridiculous reason.

Okay, let me put it this way.
How many dates have you been on

- the last year?
- I don't know, man. I ain't counting.

But my Tinder profile is pretty en fuego.

How many have been second dates?

- Not that many.
- Look,

we both know what happened
this time last year.

What?

Oh, come on, Mac.

This has nothing to do with that.

Really?

Your clear refusal to even try and have

a meaningful connection with a woman

over the last year has nothing to do

with Sarah getting married,
which, coincidentally,

- was just over a year ago?
- Nope.

[SIGHS] Sarah is happily married, man.

- Mm-hmm.
- And you still won't let yourself

- move on.
- Hey,

I'm moving on just fine. Don't you worry

about that, okay?

It's not my fault that most of the women

I've met recently don't
have that special something.

I'm not that picky. All she has
to do is be smart and beautiful.

And-and know some Krav Maga

and be able to handle
herself in a firefight.

You know, that's a real asset.

No one is ever going to be Sarah,

but comparing everyone
else in the world to her

is unfair to them, and more
importantly, it's unfair

to you.

What do I need a
girlfriend for anyway, man?

You ain't got one.

- Not for lack of trying.
- And neither does Bozer.

We get to do what we want, when we want.

Bachelors ain't got to answer
to nobody, man. It's awesome.

Hey, what's up? Bam!

Ooh. Mama looks pissed.

- Excuse me?
- Well, I'm just saying, you don't look

as-as sunshiny as usual.

Okay, I would like for you to
switch to your inner voice now.

- Okay.
- I'm serious, Jack.

All right. What's going on?

Yeah, is this about Murdoc?

MATTY: I wish, but unfortunately,

it's about another notorious
figure from the past.

- Who?
- Someone I thought I'd buried

a decade ago.

Duke Jacoby.

Ooh, no way.

How is that even possible?

Wait. Am-am I supposed to
know who this person is or...?

Yeah. What is he? A drug dealer?
Gunrunner? Is he a mercenary?

Depends on the day of the week.

BOZER: Uh, why does

Duke Jacoby have Jack's face?

It's one of my old CIA covers, Bozer.

MATTY: After Hurricane Katrina,

New Orleans was basically the Wild West,

so while law enforcement

was busy reinstating
order in the streets...

Duke was sent in to keep an
eye on all the sinister activity

going on in and around
the Port of New Orleans.

With Duke's help, the Agency

was able to disrupt over 100
criminal and terrorist plots.

Yeah. I mean, he was one of the best

CIA covers, like, ever.

He was also one of the most expensive

- CIA covers, like, ever.
- Yeah.

So much so that the top brass considered

having him assassinated.

They called it "Operation Budget Cuts."

Well, by that point, I almost
wish they did kill him off.

I-I hated being that guy.

Okay, but if Jack is
Duke, and Jack is here,

then how exactly has Duke
resurfaced in New Orleans?

- Yeah.
- I don't know, Bozer,

but two days ago, someone
started reactivating

Duke's digital footprint in NOLA...

Opening new bank accounts,

unfreezing old credit cards,
accessing his DMV records.

How'd this person get all
this info on a CIA cover?

And what are they
planning on doing with it?

Well, that is exactly what
I'm taking Mac and Jack

to New Orleans to find out.

You're coming with us?

That's how serious this is.

All right.

Riley, I need you here,

combing through both the Phoenix

and CIA networks.

Find out if someone hacked
in and stole Duke's info.

Okay. I'll be sure to bring
you back some beignets, Riley.

MATTY: Actually, Bozer,
you're staying here to work

on another assignment.

Then you'll assist
Riley in the war room.

- Mm!
- So...

I guess you can pick us up some donuts.

MATTY: All right, people,
we've got work to do. Mac, Jack,

wheels up in 20.

- Yeah.
- Yes, ma'am.

[UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING]

_

_

JACK: Man, it's weird being back here.

I was really hoping
Duke had said good-bye

- to this place for good.
- [STREETCAR BELL DINGS]

You've been checking over

your shoulder ever since
we got here. I'm guessing

- Duke had some enemies.
- You know that old-school

white pages phone book
I have at my house?

Yeah. The one that I told
you to get rid of because

- it's pretty much useless.
- Yeah. That's the one.

Well, Duke made enough
enemies to fill two of 'em.

Just showing my face
around here is a risk.

Okay, to be fair,
Dalton, showing your face

- anywhere is a risk.
- I'm just saying.

Okay, now where are you taking us?

I'm taking you right to the source.

[DOOR BELLS TINKLE]

I call upon the spirits of the beyond

and ask

that they give me

the power of sight!

[WOMAN GASPS]

[CHUCKLES]

You can drop the act, Willy.

You ain't fooling anybody.

Except for maybe these yahoos.

WOMAN: What?

Show's over. Everyone out.

You have got a lot of nerve
coming in here, Jacoby.

I'm still quicker with a
blade than you are, old man.

- [LAUGHING]
- [LAUGHING]

Hey, you old

- salty dog.
- How are you, Duke?

- I'm doing good. Good to see you.
- [LAUGHING]

Guys, this is Willy.

He is king of the Big Easy
underground. Nothing goes on

in this town without
him knowing about it,

and more often than not,

he's got a piece of the
action, ain't that right?

Well, a man's got to eat, Duke.

JACK: You're right.

Uh, can I help you?

Sorry. I was just trying to see
how you made the flame so big,

but now I see the
modified butane lighters

and the flash powder for a kick, yeah?

Underneath the sleeves.
That's what I would've done.

Uh, who the hell is this, Duke?

Well, these two

are my associates, Will.

Are you in town long, man?

Only long enough to find out
who's been running around town

pretending to be me.

You wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?

Well, I would love
to help you out, Duke,

but first, there's the small
matter of the five grand

you owe me from that
business with the Dominicans.

Right.

Here you go.

MATTY: I see now

why you haven't mentioned

this place before, Duke.

Just tell us what you know, will you?

I'm sorry, Duke.

I-I wish I knew something,

but I haven't seen anybody
pretending to be you.

Copy that. Thanks.

It's good to see you.

Let's go.

However, I did see your wife,
and, man, she's a knockout.

Yeah, thanks, buddy.

She's a real peach, huh?

You haven't seen her around, have you?

Yes, I'd like to find her right now.

I imagine Dixie Lee's
at your new place, Duke.

You do remember where
your new place is, right?

Because if, by some odd chance,

you've forgotten your own address,

I'd be happy to remind you...
[CLEARS THROAT]

for a small fee, of course.

Of course.

You know, I'm a little...

a little light.

[SNAPS FINGERS] Matty,

give me a little scratch, will you?

_

_

Looks like Mrs. Jacoby is not home.

- Really?
- That's a shame.

I was really looking forward to
meeting the old ball and chain.

Yeah. Me, too.

MacGYVER: Look what I found.

Well, now we know what she's been doing

with Duke's good credit.

Riley, you're up.

Whoa, this computer's so brand-new,

there's next to nothing on it.

Well, "next to nothing" isn't nothing.

It sure isn't.

I just found a hidden folder
of financial, DMV and IRS info,

all belonging to Duke Jacoby.

JACK: That's great, Ri.

But we already knew Dixie
Lee had that stuff on Duke.

Okay, Jack, but what about the other 16?

- What?
- What?

16?

I just found 16 more hidden folders,

containing info on 16
other CIA cover identities.

I'm sending them over now, Matty.

[PHONE CHIMES]

Some of these are still active.

Well, that means we're looking

at a much bigger breach
than we originally thought.

Whoever Dixie is, we
need to find her now,

before she gets a whole bunch

of undercover CIA operatives killed.

JACK: Man,

we have searched every
inch of this place,

and all we've learned
about my better half

is that she has kick-ass taste.

- Does she, though?
- I don't know.

It's not really my thing, but...

MacGYVER: More importantly, why
would an operative who just stole

17 CIA cover I.D.s

risk this big of a footprint?

Maybe that was part of her plan.

She suspected Duke was a CIA
cover, she poses as his spouse,

starts making noise to
see who will show up.

Well, if this is a trap, then
we've already walked into it.

Look, I want to know who this lady is

and where she is right now. Riley?

I'm working on it.

But I'm having a little trouble.

There's not a single active cell phone

registered to either Mr. or Mrs. Jacoby.

Well, can you track her
credit card purchases?

I could, but she didn't

make any purchases with
Duke's credit cards.

She used them to take
out cash advances at ATMs.

And before you ask
about the ATM cameras,

she blocked them.
Every last one of them.

She sounds like a pro.

How much cash did the missus take?

Just north of 50 grand.

50 grand isn't exactly

walking around cash.

- No, it is not.
- Dixie's got a hiding spot

in this house somewhere.
We got to find it.

Jack, I need your cell phone.

- Huh? It's brand-new.
- You heard me.

- Jack.
- There's three phones sitting right there.

And she is my wife, so technically

they're half mine.
Just use one of those.

Okay, number one, those
phones are evidence.

Number two, she's not really

your wife.

And number three, give
Mac your damn phone.

Yeah, yeah, one, two, three,

break Jack's phone, I get it.

Oh, I'm gonna need a... broom.

What, are we gonna clean the place?

Go get it.

Fine.

MacGYVER: So, ever since 2004,

all U.S. currency has been printed

using metallic ink.

So, more bills...

You don't got to smile
while you're breaking it.

Sorry.

Means...

more metal. Now, if we can attach

the Hall effect sensor from your phone

to this radio speaker...

Thank you.

We should have our own makeshift...

- metal detector.
- [METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]

[CRACKLING]

[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]

How long is this gonna take?

[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]

MacGYVER: Got something.

Oh...

- What?
- Hello, Mrs....

Hello, Mrs. Jacoby.

Let me see that.

Ay, Chihuahua, yes, please.

You know, Duke's the
one with kick-ass taste.

Riley, sending you a picture now

of the woman who is not Jack's wife.

Yeah, but has serious potential.

Copy that. Running facial recognition

against all databases.

Got her.

Dixie Lee Jacoby's real
name is Darlene Hagen,

born February 19.

Oh, I spoke too soon.

I'm looking at seven
I.D.s from seven states

with seven different names,

all with the same face.

Who is this woman?

That's a good question.

RILEY: I don't know about the who,

but I might be able to
help you with the where.

She's not on any law
enforcement databases.

I've been running her face

against all the security cams

and social media posts in New Orleans.

Ooh.

I got her walking into a jazz club

on Royal 20 minutes ago.

I'm sending the address now.

All right.

Bounce.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yes, ma'am.

A-And technically,
that-that's half mine.

Hey, Bozer, you alone?

Looks that way.

Why? What's up?

[KEYPAD BEEPS]

I scanned the CIA's network
to see if Dixie broke in

to steal those cover identities.

But I didn't find any sign of a breach.

That's good news, right?

Yeah, until I used that
same scan on our network,

and that's when... things got less good.

Less good how?

Just like the CIA, I found zero evidence

on anyone trying to break
into the Phoenix network.

But I did find some hidden,
encrypted traffic heading out.

These are encrypted data streams
from an unauthorized user.

A bunch of small,

daily bursts,

like, maybe text messages.

And then yesterday at 3:28 p.m.,

there was a sustained transmission.

Like, maybe a phone call.

I think we have another
mole in the Phoenix.

ROBOT: How curious, Bozer.

3:28 p.m.

is precisely the same time

- you were on the phone with...
- Thank you, narc.

[SIGHS]

It's me.

You?

I met someone. At spy school.

Her name's Leanna. She's amazing.

Like, amazing amazing.

But at graduation, we were
ordered never to communicate

with any of the other
students ever again.

So instead of following this order,

you decide to try and sneak

unauthorized encrypted transmission

to your girlfriend through the Phoenix?

Bozer, are you trying to get caught?

No, of course not, but love
makes you do crazy things,

Riley, I...

Oh, my God.

That's the first time I've ever admitted

I'm in love with Leanna.

Well, congratulations, Bozer, but now

I'm gonna have to kill you
for involving me in this.

Please. You can't tell Matty.

I don't want to.

But if she finds out I knew
about this and stayed quiet...

Look, I'm sorry you
got dragged into this,

but I've never met anyone
like her before, Riley.

Isn't that the same line

you used on me when we first met?

Leanna's different. She's special.

I-I mean, we don't work together,

so it's not awkward like
it was for you and me...

Okay, I don't know what I'm saying.

I'm freaking out here.

Look...

I already made my choice.

So now...

I guess you got to make yours.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, cover me.

I'm gonna go introduce
myself to my wife.

Uh, bourbon. Neat. Please.

And would you refill

this lovely young lady's
glass again for me?

Thanks, but I prefer to
pay for my own poison.

Yeah, if that were true,

you wouldn't be here
drinking on my dime.

No, no, no. Wait, wait, hang on now.

Just relax. Relax.

Don't you want to have a little
drinky-poo with your hubby?

What are we drinking to?

To your last days as a free woman.

You're even cuter in person.

- Mmm.
- I like the way you do your hair.

[LAUGHS] Oh, is that your
play? Cheap compliments?

Then you bat those eyelashes,

and you head for the door, is that it?

Wouldn't be the first time

that little combo got me out of a jam.

- Mm.
- Besides,

if you really wanted to turn me in,

you would've brought cops.

So, what do you want, sugar?

Answers.

You can start with your
name and who you work for.

My name you're gonna have to earn.

And who says I work for anyone?

Come on, you lifted 17 I.D.s.

You expect me to believe
you did all that on your own?

I'm a woman of many talents.

I bet.

Another one for you, Ms. Jackoby?

- It's Jac...
- It's Jacoby.

[LAUGHS]

Another round for me and my husband.

And keep the change.

JACK: Ooh.

Wow. Just like that.

Right in front of me. Okay.

Why have money if you're
not gonna spend it?

Mmm, Ms. Jacoby, you are a cute one,

I'll give you that much.

Thank you.

But I think

you're a plain old con artist

who's in way over her head.

I think we both know

there's nothing old or plain about me.

Listen, Dixie...

Or whatever your name
is... Playtime is over.

Okay? This is serious business.

You're gonna have to tell me right now

how you got my identity
and the 16 others.

For your own safety. You understand?

You know, most marks

only care about their bank balance...

How much money they've lost,

if they're gonna get it back.

And no one's ever followed me in person,

let alone this fast.

Just tell me how you got the I.D.s.

And now that I think about
it, there was something off

about the paper trail on
you and your 16 friends.

Zero fraud claims,

not even a late payment.

It was a little too clean,
a little too perfect.

What can I say? I'm a responsible guy.

[LAUGHS] Oh, come on, sugar.

We both know that's not true.

I may be just a plain old con artist,

but you ain't Duke Jacoby

because Duke Jacoby doesn't exist.

So, why don't you start by telling me

what your real name is?

Duke, you got some fans
looking for you. Front door.

Ooh!

Ow.

♪ ♪

Go! Friends of yours?

Yeah, Duke didn't really have friends.

You know what I'm saying?

[STREETCAR BELL DINGS]

Go get Dixie. I got these guys.

JACK: All right.

- Move! Move!
- [GASPING]

- Stop! Stop.
- Okay.

Nice try, honey, but
you're not going anywhere.

Now listen to me for a sec.

[TIRES SCREECH]

Don't move.

What's up, man?

No!

Get your hands off my damn wife.

MacGYVER: Hey!

Matty...

we got a problem.

Someone just stole a lot
more than Duke's identity.

[SNORING]

[GROANS]

Morning, sunshine.

Morning.

How long was I out?

- Hmm, 30 minutes, give or take.
- [GROANS]

- [GRUNTS]
- I already tried that.

- Yeah?
- They cut the emergency release.

- Oh.
- We're good and stuck.

So, hubby, you want to
tell me who these guys are?

Well, it's hard to say, really.

Could be the 39ers.

Could be the Bayou Mafia.

Could be the two guys I hunted down

for the Bayou Mafia.

It's dealer's choice, really.

Seriously, who are you?

It... it's complicated.

You know, maybe you should
do a tad more research

before you go pretending to be
somebody's wife next time, okay?

- [CAR STOPS]
- Look, I actually don't care who you are,

- or what's going on here.
- That's not very nice.

I just don't want to get
in the middle of this, okay?

All right? So if this is
about the identities I stole,

I'm sorry.

I've been conning this
government IT contractor

for weeks, planning to drain his 401k.

But when I got access to his computer,

I found his bank accounts,

credit cards, social security numbers.

I mean, I thought I hit the jackpot.

I figured y'all were just 17 people

in some government database,

not 17 people the government made up.

All right, look, I-I can't

tell you what's going on, I'm sorry.

But I promise I'm gonna get you
out of this, okay? I promise.

[SNORING]

- Who is this guy?
- No clue.

But someone sent him and
eight others to grab Jack

and our fake Mrs. Jacoby.

In all the excitement,
this guy got left behind.

And from what I've heard about Duke,

I think it's a safe bet

that whoever sent these
guys is not a friend.

Great. Which means we
have yet another problem.

Because it's only a matter of
time before Duke's better half

realizes she's sitting on
one hell of a bargaining chip.

17 freshly stolen CIA identities

could fetch millions
on the black market.

Yes. So first things first:

let's I.D. sleeping beauty here. Riley?

All right, let's see who you are.

Well, first, there's too many
hits, now there's too few.

Sorry, guys, all I can tell
you is this guy doesn't have

a criminal record or a driver's license.

Would you like to rouse our guest?

My pleasure.

Where you going?

I was gonna go make
some smelling salts.

Oh, never mind, Goldilocks.

I'll just do it the old-fashioned way.

Hey, sleepyhead.

How you feeling?

Where did you take Duke Jacoby?

BOZER: Hey, Matty. Sorry to interrupt,

but at spy school, we learned
an interrogation technique

for situations like this.

You start by going into his mental space

- and then you want to...
- MATTY: Bozer.

You do realize that I wrote

that entire curriculum, right?

[MAN GROANS, SPEAKS ALBANIAN]

That's Albanian, and so is he.

Riley, pull up everything

- about the Albanian mob in Duke's file.
- Okay.

Oh, and Bozer, here's a tip:

whenever you're in pain,

you always revert to your mother tongue.

You might want to write that down.

RILEY: Well,

I see a long list of dirtballs

who despise Duke,

but nothing about any Albanians.

So how do we find Jack?

[CLICKS TONGUE]

He may not be able to
tell us where Jack is,

but he might be able to show us.

[EXHALES]

[CHUCKLES]

Little Raymond?

[EXHALES]

It's just Raymond now.

Oh, okay.

You know, the last time I saw you,

your pops had you
dragging Lake Pontchatoony,

Pontchatong... whatever...
You remember that?

When you lost that huge...

drug shipment. This guy's a moron, man.

No.

What I remember is you losing
the shipment and blaming me.

Yeah, well, who can be sure

about something like
that after this long?

I can.

I remember that entire June
perfectly. You want to know why?

- Why?
- 'Cause that was the

month you double-crossed us.

Pops went down for racketeering.

Got 60 years in the can.

And you... skipped town.

Hey, hey. What's with the attitude?

"Just Ray."

Looks like you're running
things just fine now.

You know, you should
probably be thanking me

for your promotion.

You're welcome. You're welcome.

I've dreamt of killing you
for a long time, Jacoby.

Can't believe I actually
get to be the one to do it.

Congratulations.

Don't worry. It'll be quick.

- For the missus.
- [GASPS]

Not so much for you.

No-no-no, wait, wait,
wait a minute now.

She has nothing to do with this.

- She's not even my real wife.
- It's true.

- You got to believe him.
- You think I'm married?

- I've never seen him before today.
- No.

If I'm being honest,

I don't really care who you are.

- [GUN COCKS]
- [GASPS]

I'll give you half a million dollars.

What?

Yeah, the-the 500.

Now put the gun on me.

$500,000 I stole

from your old man before I split.

There you go.

I mean, y-you are family.

Technically, it's yours.
I'll just give it to you.

What $500,000?

What-what are you talking about?

Why do you think I would
come back to this armpit?

I hate New Orleans.

Do you know how many people
want to kill me here? Huh?

[CHUCKLES]

I'd need a good reason.

And I got 530,000 good ones,
you know what I'm saying?

But, baby, we were gonna use that money

- to build a house...
- Not right now, Dixie Cup.

- With a view of the bayou.
- Sugar Pie, Sugar Pie.

- We will work this out.
- Should of known this was gonna happen.

- Mama warned me from the start you were...
- Karen,

no good at follow-through.
Are we still role-playing?

Shut up, the both of you.

You really have $500,000 of my money?

Yup.

Maybe now would be a good time for you

to let me in on what you're doing.

I'm coating the cuffs in a mixture

of selenium powder, cadmium oxide,

and good old muriatic acid.

When blended together,
they cause a reaction

that emits a light at a wavelength

that can only be seen
by infrared cameras.

Like, say, the IR camera in
one of our keyhole satellites?

Exactly.

So, now, all we got to do

is slide these cuffs on
our large friend over there,

let him think that he's escaped,
and then he's either gonna run

to the nearest airport or...

Straight back to his boss,
who's holding Jack and Dixie.

Okay. It's a long shot.

But 50/50 odds are a hell
of a lot better than nothing.

Got to make this look convincing,

so step one is letting him
know we're gonna be moving him

to a more secure location,

- which will motivate him.
- [MAN GRUNTS]

Sounds like your friend
just skipped step one.

[GRUNTS]

Well, did you get the cuffs on him?

Barely.

And don't worry about
me, Matty, I'll be fine.

Good. Riley, you're up.
Get us an eye in the sky.

You know when that lunatic realizes

you didn't actually steal his money,

- he's gonna kill us both.
- Don't worry.

I'm working on getting my hands free.

The trick's gonna be

to get close enough
to one of these goons

to lift a weapon.

- I might be able to help with that.
- Yeah, how's that?

Mr. Scowly over there's
been patting his pockets

for two hours.

He wants a cigarette, but he's out.

If I tell him I have a
pack on me and offer one

in exchange for a light...

He'll close the distance himself.

- Very clever.
- Thanks.

Smart, beautiful, brave...

You know, you could've been anything.

How'd you wind up doing
something like this?

You'd rather play "get to know you" than

"get the hell out of here"?

Still working on getting my hands free.

Thought we could do both.

- [SCOFFS]
- [CHUCKLES]

I tried the legit life.

But had to be honest with myself...

I like life on this side of the law.

And I love my work.

It does make it hard to
meet Mr. Right, though.

- [LAUGHS]
- Why is that funny?

It's just... it's just familiar.

You know, I think if we'd have met

under different circumstances

and-and weren't about to die...

I think we might've

had a second date, maybe even a third.

Oh, you're assuming I'd have
said yes to the first. Hmm.

Okay. I almost got my hands free.

- You-you about ready for that smoke?
- [DOOR OPENS]

So, I called some
associates. And guess what?

Not a single person can confirm
your story about the 500 grand.

But the more people I spoke
to, the more it became clear

you were right about one
thing: there are a lot of folks

in New Orleans who hate you.

And so, I made a few more calls
and found a mutual acquaintance

who said you left him and his
brother for dead years ago.

- In a swamp?
- Oh, yeah, well,

I wanted to kill those
two ding-dongs on the boat.

It was just more convenient
to throw them overboard.

And a lot nicer, if you think about it.

Well, that's not how they see it.

Turns out these brothers
dislike you so much, Duke,

they're willing to pay me a cool million

for the honor of killing you themselves.

It's been a real pleasure
being your husband.

BOZER: Okay, Mac's infrared
handcuffs are doing the trick.

Our Albanian friend just
turned right on Tulane Avenue.

RILEY: But Mac was right about
the chemical tags wearing off.

Color's fading fast. I don't think

we're gonna be able to
track him much longer.

MATTY: This guy's our
best hope at finding Jack.

I need you to pinpoint his position now.

Well, either Riley just
jinxed us and the tag wore off,

or he just ran into a
building on Pierce Street.

[SPEAKING ALBANIAN]

[EXPLOSION]

Drop your weapons!

Hands in the air! Get
down on your knees!

[SHOUTING]

- No.
- Get him up, now!

[GASPS]

I sincerely hope y'all are friends

- with my husband.
- Where is he?

I don't know. But I know somebody's
paying a million dollars to kill him.

And I might be able to
help you figure out who.

So how about we make a deal?

Okay, according to Dixie,
the Albanians are selling Jack

to a couple of brothers
he left in a swamp.

Let's hope Duke put something
about them in the files.

Bet Jack never thought his
life would hinge on his ability

to fill out paperwork.

[TYPING]

RILEY: Matty, I think
we got a hit. In 2009,

Duke was transporting
two Brazilian smugglers

through the bayou at night, when, quote,

"Things went kind of sideways,

due to nobody's fault in particular,

and I wound up tossing 'em both

in the drink." Ooh.

Do these smugglers have a name?

BOZER: Matheus and Gustavo Barbosa.

They blew into New
Orleans after the hurricane

and put down roots.

It looks like they've expanded
from smuggling to real estate.

They're buying up properties
all over the city...

Vacant lots, abandoned houses,

a couple of car washes, a cemetery.

A cemetery? If I was gonna kill someone

and hide the evidence,
that would do the trick.

MATTY: Okay, Mac, SWAT's in place,

and they're not gonna move

until I give them the green light.

If our targets suspect
anything suspicious,

they can kill Dalton on-site.

Any signs of the
Albanians or Brazilians?

No. Everyone is resting
peacefully on my end.

But this place is huge,
and we still don't know

if this is where the deal
is going down for sure.

Matty, I got eyes on the Albanians.

Headed for the south exit.

[SIREN CHIRPS]

- Don't move!
- Put your hands on the wheel!

Where I can see 'em!

- They're not in the vehicle!
- Where is he?

Duke. Where's Duke?

Don't know anyone by that name.

Where did the Barbosas take him?

RILEY: Uh, Mac,

there's a crazy heat plume

that just popped up on the sat feed.

It's in the southwest
corner of the cemetery.

Crematorium.

[NAIL GUN CLACKING]

[GROANING]

Hey, wait a minute, fellas!

We can work something out, can't we?!

Come on!

♪ ♪

[SWITCH BUZZES]

Oh...

Well, Duke,

I kind of always thought
you'd get me killed one day.

I just didn't think it'd be...

today.

Mac, what are you doing? SWAT's
mobilizing an assault now.

Jack can't wait, Matty.
Incinerator's already burning.

Follow his lead! Go, go, go!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Mac, we have no idea
how many hostiles are

in that building. You have
a plan to deal with that?

I'll worry about that
once I shut off the gas.

And how do you plan to do that?

After Katrina, all gas lines
in New Orleans were retrofitted

with emergency shutoff valves
in case of another disaster.

And?

[ENGINE REVVING]

I'm about to be that disaster.

[MOUTHS]

[ENGINE REVVING]

[PANTING]

Come on, Mac. I need you now, buddy.

I need you now more than ever. Mac.

Mac! Hey! Help!

[ENGINE REVVING]

[HORN HONKING]

MAN: Go, go, go!

[HONKING CONTINUES]

Shoot him.

[GUNSHOTS]

Drop it!

Drop it! Don't you move!

Get down on your knees now!

Jack, I'm here! Hang on!

Mac, get me out of here!

I'm coming!

[GRUNTING]

[COUGHING]

[GRUNTING]

- You okay?
- I don't know, man.

I was just on fire. You tell me.

- You look good to me.
- Good? [COUGHS]

Let's scratch that one
off the bucket list.

What?

Being burned alive, you know, I was...

I was kind of curious.

[PANTING]

You're insane, man.

So are you.

[GROANS, SHOUTS] That was a mistake!

- Mac?
- [SHOUTS]

JACK: Well, thanks for
getting me out of there, buddy.

It was getting a little warm.

[GROANS] Easy with the
tootsies there, bud.

So, what kind of gadget did
you come up with to bust me out?

Drove that Cadillac

through the building,
and then I pulled you out

with my bare hands.

Sounds like I'm rubbing off on you.

What, did you run out of
paper clips and bubble gum

- or something?
- [GRUNTS] Yeah.

- Something like that.
- Thanks, man.

Oh, yeah.

Cute mittens, Blondie.

Thanks.

You like my socks?

No, Jack. I was just kidding.

But, seriously,

you guys are lucky to be alive.

Unfortunately, Duke Jacoby
can't say the same thing,

because he never made
it out of that coffin.

I just got off the phone with the CIA.

Duke Jacoby is now officially KIA.

Well, that is fantastic
news. No offense.

No, none taken. RIP.

No one's happier seeing him

in the rearview mirror than me.

But, uh...

what's gonna happen to her?

Dixie Lee Jacoby will be buried here,

right alongside her husband, Duke.

But as far as the unidentified con woman

in handcuffs over there,

we're gonna put her skills to good use.

I just negotiated a deal
to have her charges dropped

in exchange for her helping the CIA

to make better cover identities.

NOPD should be getting
the word right... about...

- Okay. Copy.
- Now.

Matty, that is the nicest thing

you've ever done for me... thank you.

You must have left some brain
cells back in that box, Dalton.

I did it for national
security, not for you.

Speaking of which, the
very first thing I am doing

when we get home is
ordering a full review

of your after action reports.

Every last one.

Yeah, well, as horrible as that sounds,

it's better than being barbecued alive.

I look forward to what I'm sure will be

an unending ass whooping.

They told me you guys are
responsible for my release.

Thank you.

Thank her.

Thank you. Seriously.

And for what it's worth...

I am so sorry for
everything I put you through.

That is so sweet. You're so sweet.

Apology accepted.

MacGYVER: Hey, Matty,

I think SWAT has some more questions

about the seismic shutoff valves.

Yeah, all over it.

It's Dawn.

Yeah. Yeah, I kind of figured that

- when I saw the sun coming up...
- No.

The first question that you asked me...

That's the answer.

My real name... it's Dawn.

Oh, Dawn.

Pretty name for a pretty
girl. Hi, I'm Jack.

- Hi, Jack.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, Dawn, walk with me, Dawn.

Okay. Ooh, ah.

What's your, uh, what's
your last name, Dawn?

Oh. Slow down, cowboy.

You're gonna have to
buy me dinner first.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Okay, I can do that.
Can I borrow some money?

[LAUGHS] Anything you want.

RIP, Duke.

We hardly knew ye.

Mac, Jack and Matty are wheels up in 10.

Only a few more hours before

Matty walks back through that door.

And... have you thought about

what you're gonna say...

or not say?

Look, Bozer, what you did
was stupid and selfish,

and... and shortsighted.

But, after I decrypted
your messages to Leanna...

I may have read a few.

You did?

It was kind of hard not to...

"Snuggle-bear."

[LAUGHS]

And the parts that didn't
make me want to throw up

were actually really sweet.

So you're not gonna turn me in?

I don't have to turn you in,

because you're never gonna get caught.

Let me see your phone.

I built you guys a
way more encrypted app.

Completely undetectable
on the Phoenix network.

Which means this
conversation right here...

never happened.

Riley. Riley!

Thank you, Riley.

[BOTH LAUGHING, MOANING]

Oh...

Jack Dalton,

I like your style.

You do?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, do you like Bruce Willis?

I love Bruce Willis. He is so hot.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You want to have a Die Hard
marathon in the bedroom?

Oh, yeah.

"Welcome to the party, pal."

[TRUCK BEEPING OUTSIDE]

_

No.

She robbed me?

[GROANS]

Not again. No, please.

She better not have
taken my dad's dog tags.

_

[EXHALES]

[DROPS REMOTE]

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
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