All language subtitles for Kevin can wait s01e11

What are you doing,
babe?

I got to get the kids up
for school.

What? No!
Get some rest.

Your man is home now.
I got you.

Well, that's sweet, honey,
but it's a whole routine.

I mean, Sara --
She's gonna call
you some names.

I'm not gonna lie.

She finds your weak spot,
and she just -- she digs in.

And then Kendra
gets mad at Sara

'cause she's making
too much noise,

and Jack is, like,
a whole other story.

Babe,
it's a 20-minute routine.

I think
I can handle this.

Okay, but you're gonna be
right back here

asking meto do it.

Oh, am I?
Mm-hmm.

Kendra. Sara.

My little princesses,
time to get up.

Leave me alone! I'm sleeping.

Leave me alone.
I'm 21.

Dad!

What the crap?!
Kids are up!

* I am not your ordinary guy

Oh, look at my man's
whippin' up breakfast.

Oh, yeah!

I got to say, I'm not hating
the view from back here.

You like it
when I whisk, huh?

I do.

It's mesmerizing,
like a lava lamp.

Let me break it down
for you, then, huh?
Ooh!

Oh, honey, honey, honey,
now it's just lava.

Yeah.
I felt it.

Kendra, don't touch
my lacrosse bag!

I'm serious.

No, it's disgusting,
and it's getting washed.

Okay, no, it isn't 'cause
we haven't lost in 10 games.

There's a reason
for that.

Yeah, because it stinks so bad
no one will cover you.

All right, guys,
just Febreze it.

Come on. Sit down.
Have some breakfast with me.

No, Dad, I can't, okay?
I'm gonna be late for class,

especially now that I have to
pull over and throw up.

Hey, buddy!
I'm making you some pancakes.

And I'm gonna make them
in the shape of a T-Rex

with the little arms
and everything.

You're gonna love them,
all right?

Okay? Hey!

Hey, buddy!

No kiss goodbye?

What's going on
with this family?

What are you doing?!

It's like I shined a light
on a possum in a Dumpster.

Please,
like I haven't watched you

eat an entire Thanksgiving
dinner over the trash can.

If your parents would have put
a chair at the table for me,

I wouldn't have had to.

Come on. Just settle in.
Have a pancake with me.

I can't.
I got to go.

I'm late.
I love you. Bye.

Unbelievable.

Oh, do I smell
some griddle cakes?

Oh, back in London, my Nana
used to make these for me.

Yeah?

Yeah,
and I remember on rainy days,

I would hide
beneath the counter,

and, uh,
I would reach out

to try and catch
the -- the hot drippings.

But Nana knew
that I was there.

She encouraged the --
Mr. Gable?

**

Okay, what --
w-what's he doing?

I think
he's cleaning his pizza.

Nope, just blotting off
the grease.

What, do you think
you're better than us?

I'm trying
to eat healthier.

Yeah, well, it's coming off
super aggressive to the group.

Yeah.

Oh, hey, guys,
we're up on shuffleboard.

Whoa.

Hey, Kyle,
did you call your guy

about the Billy Joel tickets
for Sunday night?

Yeah. I called him,
I asked for five tickets,

he laughed at me,
and hung up.

So I think
they're totally sold out.

Man, I've never seen him live.
I'd love to do that.

All right,
so I guess we'll do,

uh,
football at my house Sunday?

Oh, wish I could.
I got a thing.

What thing?
Family thing.

Every year
around this time,

we all go up to a cabin
in the Adirondacks,

just a bunch of Motts running
around wild in the woods.

It's the greatest.

We even go
to the bathroom outside.

How is that different
than at home?

Because it's
a family tradition.

The kids love it.
It keeps us all connected.

Come on.
You got stuff
like that, right?

Yeah, I mean, we --

You know, we don't do the
bathroom thing, but we, uh --

You know,
every time McDonald's
brings back the McRib,

we definitely get together
as a family unit,

and, uh,
it's pretty special.

I'm getting another beer.
You in?

No, no, I'm out of here.
You guys are useless.

Come on. Do it.
Go, go, go, go!

Aw, come on!
We're good.

I gave him some story

about wanting to
spend more time
with my family.

He bought that?

He didn't seem
that drunk to me.

But -- But you really did
get the tickets?

Oh, yeah,
five up front, boys.

Kevin is going to
lose his mind.

Yes!
Let me see the tickets.

Well,
I-I-I don't havethem.

I mean, I have them,
but I-I don't havethem.

My guy has them.
And he's in Poughkeepsie.

Whoa.
That's two hours away.

It's not a problem.
I'll drive.

We can all enjoy
each other's company.

Why do we all have to go?

This guy's
a little sketchy,

and I could use
the backup

in case this whole thing
goes sideways.

Donna?!

Donna?!

Hey.

Lower your voice.

You're sitting on a bucket.
What are you doing?

What does it look like
I'm doing?

It looks like
you're on lunch break

in the back
of a Chinese restaurant.

Are you hiding
from the kids?

And you.

It's Friday night.
I'm -- I'm reading my book.

What's the problem?

This is the problem
right here,

and this morning
with the kids.

Nobody's sitting down
for breakfast.

It's --
You know what it is?

We have no traditions.

Well, Ido.

On Friday nights, I sit on
a bucket and I read my book.

I mean, until now.

Now I got to find
a new hiding spot.

I'm telling you, we are
dropping the ball, all right?

What?

We -- Yes, we got to start
doing things together.

Mott's family's
killing it.

Oh, Mott.
Now it makes sense.

Jolly Green Giant
gets in your ear,

and there goes
my Friday night.

I'm telling you, we're
gonna start doing things
together as a family.

This is important.

We do
tons of stuff together.

Really?
Name some.

Okay, um,
we go to mass.

That's one.
Christmas.

Technically,
that's mass.

You get on these kicks,
and you're unstoppable.

This isn't a kick!
Really?

How is this
different from,

"I'm gonna learn karate
and open up my own dojo"?

I pulled a hammy.
It set me back a couple belts.

Okay, well,
I know I promised

that I'd never
bring thisup again...

Not --

...but do you remember...
Stop it.

..."Let's grow our own"...
Donna, no! Nah!

..."potatoes"?

I told you
not to do that.

Hey, you ruined our backyard,
and it cost $1,000

to grow four potatoes
that turned out so weird

that we were scared
to eat them!

Okay, you know what?

I love you,
but you have zero vision.

Do you know how many things
you can make

with one single potato?

And here comes the list.
Yeah, I'm telling you --

baked potatoes, French fries,
potato skins, hash browns.

You want Italian?
You got gnocchi.

Hey, you want
to eat healthy?

Potato salad.

And I'm not even mentioning

the all-purpose
vehicle of spuds --

the mashed potato.

And I know
I'm forgetting one, too.

Yeah,
you can also make vodka,

which I would kill for
right now.

No, that is not it.
Look, come on.

Let's just do this.
We'll have fun.

All right, all right,

just -- just -- just --
just don't force things.

I-I'm not gonna force it.
I promise you --

Got it! Tater tots!
Boom!

Chaka Khan!
Whoo!

First family tradition --
the classic -- "Monopoly."

Yeah, no -- Yes.
We're giving it a shot.

"Monopoly."

I must warn you,
I play at a very high level.

Okay, well,
do you want to be banker?

I'm pretty good
with money.

I'll have to take
your word for that,

considering I've never
seen you with any.

Okay.

Okay, Dad, are you sure
we should do this?

Because last time
we played,

Jack ended up with the thimble
stuck up his nose.

I was smelling it.

It happened.
Get over it.

Well, I don't think that's
gonna be a problem because
there are no pieces.

No,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
It's okay! It's okay!

Hey, look,
we don't need pieces.
What?

We -- We will make our
own. Honey, you are
a set of car keys.

Uh, Jack,
you are a cheese doodle.

Do not smell it.

Uh, Kendra,
you are gonna be

Kenny Chesney's boot
from this magazine.

And, Sara,
you are a Jets coaster.

And, Chale, you are
a Jets coaster upside down.

Babe, this is crazy.

We're playing.
All right.

Okay, we can play.

Let's all just hope that
Sara doesn't start crying
like she always does.

She'll be fine.
Okay, I wasn't crying,

so say it one more time
and you'll regret it.
Okay, you know what?

Get it over with
because you are

being such a big brat.
I don't know why

I know you're wondering
why game night
didn't work out.

I'm not wondering that
at all.

Well, here's why.

Nobody says,
"Let's play 'Monopoly'."

They say,
"Hey, power's out.

We might as well
play 'Monopoly'."

You literally said,
"Let's play 'Monopoly'."

We can sit here all night
pointing
fingers at each other,

but we need to find
a family tradition

where we can all
get along!

Okay, well,
that's not gonna work.

I mean, Chale's living
in the garage.

Kendra wantsto be living
in the garage,

but instead, she's in a tiny
room with her baby sister.

I mean,
tensions are gonna erupt.

So let's work
that tension out.

Well, what do you want to do?

You gonna wrap their hands
in bubble wrap

and just let the fists fly
like a Thunderdome?

That's a little extreme,
okay?

But you're close.

Welcome to the first annual
Gable Bubble Ball Tournament.

Dad, I can't move.

No, it's okay, sweetie.
None of us can move.

It's sort of like
you combine
soccer with an MRI.

See, Chale gets it.

Wait, Dad,
what are the teams?

No teams. No rules.

What?

Ready? Go!
What?! Ohh!

Aah!
Ow!

Kendra!

Ohh!

Aah!

Kevin!

Ohh!

Boom!

Mommy's coming!

Jack!

I'm okay!

Famous last words --

"You're in a bubble.
You won't get hurt."

Okay.

He didn't get hurt.

He bounced down a hill.

Lightly.
He's fine.

Well,
then, why did we take him
to the hospital, hmm?

As a precaution --

"pre" caution, which means
it's before caution.

Mm-hmm. Then why did they
want to X-ray him?

This is so crazy. 'Cause
they're already paying
the guy at the machine.

What's he gonna do,
sit there in a lead vest

listening to audio books
all day?

Come on.
He's getting paid.

Press the button.
That's all.

Honey, look, I know that you
want to build
family traditions,

but they have to grow
organically over time.

I know.

I just -- I just wish
we had something.

That's all.

Well, we'll always have waking
the kids up with the air horn.

That was awesome.
That was awesome.

Jack shot out
of his shorts.

I'm not kidding.
I've never heard
a higher-pitch scream.

Yeah.
Okay. Good night.

Love you.
Love you.

I got it.

I got it!

What?

Supper.

What? No.

You can't eat
this late because
you always get nightmares,

and then you wind up
kicking me in your sleep.

Not now.
Tomorrow.

Sunday supper.

Think about it.
Oh.

"Monopoly" was
a bore fest, right?

Bubble Ball
was crazy dangerous.

Sunday supper is right
in the sweet spot.

We gather as a family.
We eat. We grow.

We learn about each other.

Oh, you are relentless.

Okay, fine.
Here's the deal.

You get everyone to the table,
and I'll make supper.

Done.
All right.

And I'm thinking
meatloaf.

Okay.

No, I mean now.

Wha...

Kyle, what are we doing
at an abandoned rest stop?

We're waiting
for Billy Joel tickets, okay?

This is where
Jeff wanted to meet.

This place is
a little sketchy.
Why don't you call your guy?

I don't have his phone number.
We talk through Facebook.

That's what
people do now.

There are
so many red flags here,

I'm out of red flags.

**

Hon?

Home run on the meatloaf.

Not hating the sides,
either.

Vegetable medley!

So, Dad,
just to be clear,

do we have to sit here
until we're all happy?

Judging by the tension
around this table,

I'm thinking you may need
a lotmore meatloaf.

I'll try
the cornbread.

- I'mhappy.
- You hear that?

This kid rolled
3/4 of a mile in a beach ball,

and he's happy, okay?

I almost died,
butI didn't.

To being alive!
Aww.

Nice! Nice, Jack!

And I'm gonna build
on that.

Now, when I was a kid,
we used to go
around the table,

and we'd all say one thing
we were grateful for.

Oh, that's nice.
Mm.
Yeah.

I am grateful
for cauliflower.

Because after staring death
in the face --

Okay, Jack, Jack,
we -- we get it, buddy.

You're kind of
hogging the ball
a little bit.

Saralicious,
let's go with you.
What do you got in the tank?

Come on.
Okay.

I'm grateful
for the two years

that Kendra
didn't live here.

Sara.
No, no, no.
You know what?

I'm grateful for the ability
to shower and read,

two crayons that don't appear
to be in Sara's box.

Hey, guys, guys, guys.
Okay, okay,
sorry I'm coordinated

and I don't want to spend
my life in a library.

Did you guys
hear that? Sara knows
what a library is!

Oh, gut punch!

Jack,
that's not helping.

This cornbread is so light.
It is like air.

Okay, sorry I'm not perfect
like you!

Okay, here we go
with that again.

Girls, girls!
I just --

Honey, you want
to step in here, please?

Yeah, I do. I'm tired
of every single one of you

fighting me about
doing stuff together,

except for Chale,
and he's not even inour family.

Working on it.
Let me land this plane.

Now, friends will come and go,
but your family is forever.

You guys want to fight,
fight.

I'll tell you this, though --
look around,

'cause this is
the only family you got.

I guess I'm just stressed out
with school and work,

and I took it out
on you.

I'm sorry.

Now, there you go.

I'm sorry, too.

I guess I was just
used to having my own room.

It's actually not horrible
having you around.

Wow.

That was sweet.
Very mature, Sara.

I could have
washed that jersey
weeks ago.

I just knew that the smell
drove you crazy.

It's cool.

Sorry I rubbed it
on your pillow, too.

Oh, no, no, no. That's
all right. I switched it
with Jack's like a week ago.

What?!

Okay, see, now, this is
all I wanted right here!

Now I'm gonna
grab a beer.

The thing with the pillow
is a little disturbing,

but this is awesome.

Just keep --
keep it flowing, okay?

Come on, really?
You had to?

That is so gross.

My face was all...

Honey,
did you see that?

They were actually
communicating.

That was incredible.
You were right.

Of course I was right.

And you know what?
We are not done.

We're gonna watch a movie,
maybe some charades,

another movie.

Who knows
where the night takes us?

All right,
I'll go set it up.
Mm-hmm.

Hey, honey,
you're amazing.
It's what I do's.

Kyle, what's up?

Okay, long story.

No, short story --
Your brother's an idiot.

We just spent a half-day
in a rest area

waiting for some guy
to bring us tickets.

Tickets?

Yeah -- Billy Joel.

We're taking you
to the Garden, guy!

Yeah!

But he -- he's sold out.

Not if you know a guy
at a rest stop
in Poughkeepsie.

The Piano Man, baby!

Be ready 'cause
we're picking you up in 20.

Yeah!
Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!
Billy Joel!

Hey.
Hey.

Hey.

So, Chale's got
this hilarious game.

You put a Post-It
on your forehead

and you're a celebrity or
you guess it or I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you know,

did you know
that tomorrow's a school day?

I-I-I just didn't know.
I just was completely --

The kids need their sleep.
I was thinking that.

I was --
Honey, it's 6:30.

Yeah, I know,
but they need 12 hours.

You should know that as
a school nurse. That's
kind of embarrassing.

I just feel like
I went too hard again.

You know, I went
kind of full potato, and --

No, no, no. We're having fun
in there. Come on.

I know, but you can't
change them all in one night.

It's like
when you get braces on.

You don't have straight teeth
thatday.

Okay, here's the game,
Mr. Gable.

We're all celebrities.

Right. Yeah.
We have a card on the head.
Everyone can see --

You're Clint Eastwood,
okay?

Mr. Gable
has won round one.

I just think we need to
pull the plug on this now,

you know,
for the family.

Yeah,
it's probably best.

It is. It is.

Plus you went a little nuts
with the gravy down there.

You might want
to change your shirt

before you go see
Billy Joel.

Billy who, now?

Goody's wife just texted me
asking if I
wanted to get coffee

because you guys
are all going to the concert.

You guys
are getting coffee?!

Oh, that's awesome.
We're all gonna have fun!

That is so cool.

What do you want me to do,
all right?

They surprised me
with tickets.

Honey,
I get it, all right?

I mean,
you love Billy Joel.

He's your favorite.
I get that.

But you just accomplished

something pretty special
in there.

So...I don't know,

where do you think
you should be?

* Cadillac-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack
*

* You oughta know by now

* You oughta know by now

* If he can't drive
with a broken back *

* At least he can polish
the fenders *

* And it seems
such a waste of time *

* If that's
what it's all about *

* Mama, if that's movin' up,
then I'm *

* Movin' out

* Don't you know about
the new fashion, honey? *

* All you need are looks
and a whole lotta money *

* It's the next phase,
new wave,
dance craze, anyways *

* It's still rock 'n' roll
to me *

* Everybody's talkin' 'bout
the new sound *

* Funny, but

It's still rock 'n' roll
to me!

This is
a great tradition.

Thank you.

I wish you were
at the concert with me, Donna.

I'm telling you,
Billy Joel was on fire.

He closed
with "Piano Man."

20,000 people just waving
cellphones in the air.

They don't do
lighters anymore,

you know?
No?

Which is good.
You don't burn your fingers.

Remember, you'd be like,
"Yeah! Aah."

I think it's great
that you're so excited,

but you should save all that
for next Sunday's supper.

You know, it's gonna kill
at the table.

And this is -- is more
of a quiet tradition.

Wow, you get on the bucket
and you change.

I'm just trying
to read my book.

Yeah, I'm just trying
to tell you about my night

with Billy Joel.
Oh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.

I'll remember this

next time you
want to talk about
"Downtown Abbey."

It's "DowntonAbbey."
Yeah, whatever.

You know what?
I'm out of here.
I don't need this stuff.

Oh, legs are asleep.
Oh.

Yep. That happens.

Yep. Ohh!

* Don't want no
sweet perfume *

* Shake your thing,
go bust your move *

* Do, do, do, do, do

* Do, do, do, do

* Ohhhhhh, yeah

* Don't want
no high-heel shoes *

* I just don't want no...