Original subtitles

Wherever and whenever society deems life is worthless,

we must see trough the eyes of Eros. In the fullness of time, it is up to Eros

to restore the balance between life and death

that has been tipped in death's favor.

Andr� Breton

Don't look down

Nothing interesting ever happened to me before I met Elvira.

I was a walking billboard on stilts

and was working as a stuffed pastry

up to the very day my life changed forever,

the day that began my transformation.

" If the Earth stopped attracting the sea,

the oceans would rise up and flow towards the Moon"

Dad.

Your idea is

Dad's spirit comes home at night to read your notebook.

Yes. I'm sure of it.

And you think he wrote this?

You miss the old man a lot, don't you?

Even if I didn't miss him, I know he'd still come home every night.

The dead visit the places they've lived.

They do it for a time until they forget the lives they once led.

Eloy... Are you on drugs?

In a right angle triangle,

the square of the hypotenuse

is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides.

Thinking about your old school days?

Yes...

Eloy...

do you really think Dad would come back from the grave

to remind you of the Pythagorean Theorem?

Last night, that wasn't in my notebook.

Events continued to unfold inexhorably.

The battle unleashed on May 2, 1852 was bloody.

The troops advanced into enemy territory

razing every village in their path.

What a disappointment to discover I was a sleepwalker.

Dad wasn't writing in my notebook.

He wasn't reading it either

because the dead don't need to read to stay informed.

I know because my neighborhood borders on the Underworld.

Every day I cross the border.

The angels avert their eyes to avoid my gaze.

They know that if they once looked at me, they would have to tell me

that one day I'll have to stay on this side of the border...

forever.

At sunset, the dead come out to sit in the cool of the evening

along the cemetery sidewalk.

They have a sort of a nervous tic.

They make the same gesture over and over.

I hope I'll see you one of these late afternoons, Dad.

Where are you?

Nobody knows what to do with a sleepwalker.

I read in a magazine we sleepwalkers are night visitors...

souls electrified and liberated from our bodies by the moon.

To my mother, my soul free floating from my body seemed very dangerous

for someone who slept on the terrace as I did.

My brother Andr�s built a ghostcatcher.

The idea was for the noise to wake me up

before I went down the stairs.

His invention worked.

I didn't go down the stairs...

I kept right on going to another neighbor's terraces...

and discovered that sometimes you can fall into Paradise.

Where am I?

In my bed...

You almost killed me...

What happened?

How long have you been sleepwalking?

Since my Dad died... a few months ago...

Don't you want to be cured?

No...

Then you'll have to learn a few things so it won't happen again...

You could get hurt.

My name is Celia

and this is Elvira, my granddaughter.

I wonder why God has sent you...

Dad... Yesterday I went to sleep in my bed

and I woke up in another world.

Hi...

Elvira is in that world.

I'm going to tell you all about what it's like to live there.

Pastries...

I should have brought some pastries for tea, not flowers...

I prefer flowers.

I'm going to look for a vase to put them in.

What does your grandmother do for a living?

She's a therapist.

Do you live here with her?

No. I live in Barcelona. I'm on vacation.

My Nana is the person I love most in the whole world...

And besides that, she's my teacher about life.

It's one of Nana's specialties. Apple pie.

Taste it.

She's reading your aura.

What's that?

It's the energy field surrounding all matter...

It's the light surrounding the body...

You too can learn to see it...

Our aura's color and transparency say many things about us...

And what color is my aura?

Blue,

indigo blue...

I always knew there were doors in my neighborhood

that led to other worlds.

But the interesting thing was,

I hadn't entered Celia's and Elvira's world by walking through a door.

How about taking a walk with me on stilts?

Teach me how.

There must have been some special chemical component

in Elvira's saliva.

Elvira found it easy to walk on stilts.

For a witch, it would be simple.

On a very foggy day, we went for a walk...

We kissed above the clouds.

After lunch, Nana takes a nap... until five o'clock...

I don't want to see God after I'm dead.

I want to see Him here and now while I'm alive.

Let's go look for Him.

I'm sorry.

It doesn't matter.

You'll learn.

I can teach you to walk in Paradise with any woman ...

I want you to learn to come without climaxing.

What?

Your climax is only a brief sensation.

Afterwards, you're spent for a time...

Lost seed is lost energy.

It's fuel that can activate your higher realms...

My higher realms?

My head?

My semen is going to go to my head?

No. It's not going to go to your head...

But the energy you don't waste will power your higher realms...

since you love walking on stilts...

You have to learn two things:

To control your climax and to satisfy your partner completely.

If you learn these two things,

you'll become the best lover in the world...

and you'll live a long and happy life to boot.

Your Nana taught you that too?

In my body there's a hidden pearl...

Your job is to find it.

Look...

I have three buttons that need your special attention.

Two are here...

They're my positive pole.

Here is the other one.

Come on, feel it.

It's my negative pole.

Your positive pole is here...

And here is your negative pole...

Every human body has the ability to generate electricity ...

and to make it flow within.

Whenever we are together,

we are going to create a divine bioelectricity.

So we came to talk about electricity...?

I thought we came to fuck...

We came to be together.

You can be with me

as you have never been with any other woman...

First, you must kiss, caress,

and suck my three buttons with all your love...

How beautiful ...

Thanks...

You'd like me to give you some head, wouldn't you?

I'd like to too.

But for now, none of that...

It would only make you climax faster...

Practice with my bottom button first.

Go ahead...

The golden valley awaits you...

That cat is a peeping Tom.

Teodoro W. is Nana's cat.

Don't worry. He's very discreet...

Don't break your concentration, Eloy. Forget the cat.

We've been in bed for almost an hour...

and "Slim" is asking himself:

Why was I invited to this party

if nobody's going to pay attention to me...?

I don't think "Slim" is having such a bad time.

Look at how beautiful you are...

You're a lusting faun.

You're beginning to succeed, Eloy!...

You've satisfied a woman and haven't lost a drop...

You have the energy to keep going...

Isn't it wonderful?

It may be marvelous, but I'm dying...

Easy.

Take it easy.

Now, it's his turn.

No rush. We're doing fine.

Tell him to bundle up so he doesn't catch cold...

What's his name?

Tiger fish...otter...

-No. -Goose...

!NO!! NO...

Those names are too common...

He has to have a unique name... a name that's his alone.

For example, her name is Adoratrice...

Adoratrice ?

Yes. Because I went to a Catholic school run by the Adoratices,

the Adoring Sisters of the Divine Protuberance...

Marlon...

His name is Marlon...

Marlon ?

In honor of Brando.

Show off...

Slowly... very slowly...

Enjoy the moment...

Feel Marlon penetrating slowly and gently into Adoratrice...

Feel that naughty girl opening up...

to welcome Marlon...

to hold him in a wet,

trembling embrace at last...

Do you feel me?

Welcome, Marlon...

What brings you here?

Did you come to play with little Adoratrice?...

Wait, wait...

Now, I want you...

to thrust three times with just the tip...

One...

two...

three...

and one more...

deeply, but gently...

Stop. Pull out, pull out.

Our first goal will be for you...

to reach 81 thrusts without climaxing.

What ?

Pull out, stay there...

Withdraw, withdraw...

Stay right there a bit... wait just a few centimeters away.

I'm going to die...

No, you won't die. You won't die...

You're going to live a long time.

A man who conserves his seed will live to a ripe old age.

Then I'm going to die young...

Let's breathe together...

Now, gently...

5...

6...

7...

and 8 go deep.

9...

10...

1 1 ...

and 12 go deep.

You're doing fine.. you're doing fine, my love.

Gently...

15...

16...

1 7... deep!

18...

Oh, my God...

The intersection point of two straight lines

that divide the angles of any triangle

into three equal parts are the vertices of a right angle triangle.

What did you say?

36...

37...

The amount of current flowing through a pure resistance circuit is...

directly proportional to the electromotive force...

applied to the circuit

and indirectly proportional to...

the circuit's...

total... resistance!...

I tried...

I really tried...

You did very well, my love...

40 thrusts!

You've improved a lot.

Next time, I'll have to think of a more complicated problem.

Ohm's Law is very simple...

I don't want you to be a sleepwalker.

What guarantee do I have

you won't fall into another woman's bed?...

If I stop sleepwalking, Ana's going to miss me...

Who's Ana?

The hardware store lady around the corner.

It's a long story...

Years ago, it dawned on me that I could find screws and nuts...

tucked away in every nook and cranny of the house.

And why was that?

I solved the mystery the day I visited the hardware store...

I agreed with my Dad...

I would have been attracted to her too.

Her name was Ana, the hardware store owner.

I need a nut for this screw...

After my Dad died, Ana became a sleepwalker.

One night, we bumped into each other

on the neighborhood rooftops, like two cats.

We struck up a conversation.

Why did the affair end?

Didn't you want it to continue?

He didn't want it to.

But in his letters he was dying of love for you.

Yes...

but he chose your mother,

your family... you...

Had he been at your side, would he have died anyway?

We'll never know, will we?

About a year before he died,

I came across the box in which he kept your love letters one day...

I couldn't resist the temptation to read them...

I had never read such beautiful letters.

I wouldn't want to die without experiencing a love like that...

When I saw him burning those letters,

I thought death might have something to do with it...

I love you.

I think about you. I search for you...

I think I'm afraid.

I only want to caress you, take care of you,...

tell you those stories that made you fall asleep at my side...

trusting our closeness would keep death at bay...

We can wait. Life can't...

Nothing lasts forever.

That's why it's useless for us to try to cling to each other.

...between your thighs there is a well of sleeping water...

That's why it's a vain hope to believe

we can make life go the way we want it to...

Luckily, Mom wasn't home.

Burning wisps of love filled the patio and were smothered...

by the smoke until they disappeared in the air...

-...Hours last an eternity -... infinite kisses you sent me...

- I can't help loving you - ...travelling along a Moebius strip.

-I miss holding you... -I don't want the forgetting...

and are coming back around to you...

I don't want the forgetting to begin...

Yesterday, while inspecting boxes, ...

- I came across that box of chocolates... - My hand has become empty and sad...

...I only want to melt my dreams into yours,

...for us to invent new promised lands together...

My love for my Dad deepened ...

but I couldn't tell him.

Men, just like elephants,

have a premonition they are going to die...

And you never saw Ana during the day?

Yes.

But Ana never remembered what had happened the night before.

What can I get for you?

A nut for this screw...

Though he never knew it ...

from then on I was the keeper of the greatest secret of his life...

Sex wasn't an important part of my life, Dad...

until the witch's granddaughter turned up.

Elvira says all man's weaknesses

are due to his poor sexual technique, but...

How can I be spending all day thinking about

how many times I can thrust in and out without finishing?

81 ... impossible.

What's impossible?

No... It's nothing...

You're not a sleepwalker anymore, are you?

I'm not?

I don't think so.

How did you cure yourself?

I've been working out...

Your Nana...?

preparing a potion?

No. She's with a patient.

What is it?

Be still.

Is it one of her recipes?

It's a recipe more ancient than my Nana.

-What's in it? -Taste it.

Honey?

It has honey...and what else?

Jasmine?

Jasmine...

Vanilla...

dill...

orange blossoms...

and essence of musk...

Three virgin's sighs from Granada...

and some cottony August clouds...

and some petals of sorrow mixed with strawberry ice cream...

Now I'm going to pass the brew over to you...

When we're both well rubbed in oil, we'll eat each other up. All right?

All right.

What does it say?

"A new life is beginning."

That's what Dante said

when he met Beatrice

in the Divine Comedy.

Whoever would have said I'd discover Dante this way...

Thanks to Elvira's bottom?

We'll take turns caring for her.

This week it's your turn.

I was dying of love for Elvira.

But since no one holds a wake for the victims of love,

nobody had noticed yet.

And there I was...

The only "dead" guy in the neighborhood who reeked of sex...

Silkworm Weaving a Cocoon.

What?

In the Tao of Love, this position is called that.

How many positions do you know?

There are four basic positions and 26 variations.

And are we going to try them all?

Maybe.

Come on.

Let's go for 81 thrusts...

I don't think I can.

Get that idea out of your head. You can do anything.

You just need to try.

Now, let's increase to five shallow thrusts

followed by a deep one.

Come on, Marlon...

Five times slowly and...

go deep.

Easy.

Easy now.

1 ...

2...

3...

4...

slowly.

What happens if we divide the angles

into three equal parts instead of two equal parts?

Oh, my love...

Do I have to answer you right this minute?

When did you start walking on stilts?

My Dad made my first pair for me...

He made bigger ones for me as I grew.

Mom got scared the day I looked up the world record

for walking on the tallest stilts...

I actually built a pair that put me four meters above the ground...

One windy day,

I fell asleep with my arms wrapped around a cypress tree.

That day I was a tree.

Is that you, Eloy?

No. I'm ham and cheese. Eloy is tender and spicy beef.

-Are you tender and spicy beef? -No, I'm Roquefort cheese.

Tender and spicy beef is the first on line...

Eloy?

What are you doing here? How did you find me?

They told me you were "tender... and spicy beef."

I failed again...

No, no!... 60 thrusts... That's very good!

M'am, do you know who he is?

You're looking at the best lover in Buenos Aires...

How long ago did you emigrate to Spain?

I left seven years ago.

But I wasn't always in Spain.

I lived in London for a while...

and one day I made the mistake of falling in love

and spent a few months in Paris.

And afterward I spent a year traveling all over India.

And I've been living in Barcelona for the last two years...

You're a gypsy.

I'm part of the Jewish diaspora... a wanderer...

What do you do in Barcelona?

I'm a set designer... and I design clothing too...

And you never found a man who asked you to stay?

That's the most dangerous word a lover can say.

But, that's enough nonsense. Come on.

Let's go to bed.

No... Not to bed...

In the Tao, this position is called Goat Facing a Tree...

Now it's called a Goat Riding a Bull...

Let's try for 100, sweetheart.

I'm going to die.

It wouldn't be a bad way to die.

What you're learning will prolong your life. You'll see...

When you're 90, you'll be making love to me.

Thousands of thrusts...

When I'm 90, a thousand thrusts before finishing?

I promise.

66...

67...

68..

69..

When I got to 70 thrusts,

the phenomenon happened for the first time...

I was somewhere else..

If you're making a joke, I'll kill you...

No, no. I was somewhere else.

Yes. But it took you a long time to come.

You're doing better and better.

I really was elsewhere... several seconds.

It was an old street...

narrow.

I saw a sign that said "De la Gloria Street."

You were in Seville, Spain?

No.

" De la Gloria Street" is in the Santa Cruz neighborhood of Seville.

What else did you see?

It opened onto a small plaza...

Lady Elvira's Plaza...

Do you know what the Moors called Granada

when they founded it?

Elvira.

Human evolution hasn't ended.

Every so often new mental abilities appear,

as has always happened.

Are you saying I could be the human prototype of the future?

Traveling by orgasm...

Cheaper and more fun than traveling by airplane.

If I could just make those moments last longer.

Perhaps, it's not a coincidence.

Maybe my mind.

No, that's crazy.

It must have been a coincidence.

Let's try again.

Marlon says he needs to rest a bit.

Adoratrice says she doesn't need him to do anything.

She just wants to hold him close.

Let him rest there.

It reminds me of the joke.

" If she likes a limp biscuit, then I'm the one for her."

Adoratrice isn't completely awake either...

but when she opens the door and sees Marlon...

she looks at him and says...

Hi, Marlon.

I can tell you're down and lacking affection.

Come here so I can hug you.

The curious, adventurous snake...

penetrates deeper...

into the cave...

Sir Marlon and Lady Adoratrice awake at the same time.

If someone touched us right now, they would be electrocuted.

I'm touching you... and I think I'm dying...

We continued trying different positions.

"A Pair of Flying Ducks" ...

"Wild Horses Bucking" ...

" Intertwined Mandarin Ducks" ...

" Phoenix Playing in a Red Cave"...

In each case, I appeared in a different city.

we figured out I had been in Valparaiso,

Madrid, Medell'n, Calcutta, Paris...

I want to see Rome.

All right. We can try...

But don't blame me if you end up in Iraq.

At that point, I no longer cared why it happened.

Moreover, I was afraid that if someone could explain it,

it would never happen again.

I am so in love making love to Elvira

and I'm seeing the world.

I don't want it to end. I want time to stand still.

I couldn't dissuade Elvira

from consulting her wise grandmother about it.

Elvira was sure Celia could find an explanation for the phenomenon.

Why would you want to find an explanation?

Eloy, you need to deliver this headstone to this grave site.

"Silence. Daddy's asleep."

Was that gem your idea?

No. The widow's.

I wonder what my epitaph will say?

Pity, the best fuck in the neighborhood has kicked the bucket.

No. Too long.

-Do want a cup of tea, Eloy? -No, thanks.

I do.

" He who best conserved his cum, alas, has suc-cumbed."

Stop screwing around and deliver this headstone.

It's urgent.

Get going!

So, what are you worried about, Mom?

It's good he's being careful...

But his room is full of condoms...

You probably have a son who's a sex fiend.

Why don't you talk to him, Andr�s?

Find out what he's up to.

Do you want to know what he's up to or with whom?

In other words, it's as if you had your own private sex tutor.

Something like that.

Is it just sex or...

are you in love with her?

You're screwed.

I feel sensations I've never felt before.

If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.

Like what?

When we make love...

at a given moment I materialize in other places...

other cities.

I materialized in Seville, in Valparaiso, in Montevideo...

Only for a few seconds.

Yesterday, I began to think that maybe the human mind is a space ship...

that uses semen as fuel.

And people think space ships will come from space.

Eloy... Do you smoke marijuana beforehand?

No. We don't drink anything either. Elvira won't even drink beer.

Pure sex.

When I kissed her for the first time, I felt many strange sensations...

as if I'd smoked a joint.

I think all her body secretions are hallucinagenic.

It's the only explanation.

So, you're dating a chick who has a hallucinagenic twat.

You are a genious.

To spend less and less time here,

I have to succeed in staying longer in those places Elvira takes me.

" Monkey Wrapped Around a Tree" .

Give me a sign when you materialize somewhere.

Venice is incredible!

You materialize in other cities between 80 and 100 thrusts.

I think you dematerialize when you climax.

Then I'll try to come a lot later.

" Eagle Poised on a Mountaintop."

How beautiful Barcelona is.

I have annihilated myself...

and I live for you.

If I love myself, I love you.

If I love you, I love myself.

One afternoon Elvira came across her old crib.

If my parents hadn't left me asleep at Nana's that night,

I wouldn't be here today.

They had gone out to celebrate my mother's birthday.

She had just turned 28...

my age now.

Before dawn, they took them away.

Elvira couldn't stop trembling.

I held her in my arms and her trembling spread to me.

That afternoon, we didn't have sex...

though we spent a long time trembling together.

I had not been sleepwalking for a long time.

Nevertheless, I had the sensation of just coming out of a dream...

when Elvira told me her vacation was over

and she would be returning to Spain.

Stay.

That dangerous word.

I'm going with you.

Just like that.

I'm not leaving and you're not staying.

Our love knows no separation.

Besides, you need to keep practicing with other girls.

Be careful.

Once they sleep with you, they'll never want to let you go.

Look.

When a heart goes up in flames, it smells like incense.

Let's say goodbye with a "Swan in Late Spring."

How do we do that?

I get down on all fours

and arch my back.

You hold me by the waist from behind.

Are you made of tender and spicy beef?

Come with me. Accompany me to the taxi stand.

Elvira went away.

At home, important changes were happening in my family.

The house began to smell like dirty diapers.

How odd... death smelled like flowers.

Life smelled like shit.

I'm not going...

and you're not staying.

My greatest fear was that without Elvira...

my life would become as routine and colorless

as the lives of so many other people.

But then, my Dad appeared

and invited me to go have a cup of coffee.

He brought with him some Coltrane CDs

he had found in a store in San Francisco.

And he was wearing boutique clothing from Saint Moritz.

What's up with the hat?

I always wanted to wear a hat like this one...

but I never did.

I've actually dared to dance.

I'm no longer melancholy.

It's about time, don't you think?

I wasn't half as concerned about being with my dead father...

as I was that he had become

an international shoplifter of CDs and designer clothing.

Anyway, it wasn't so important at this point.

The most important thing was that my Dad took my hand and said:

"Your whole life you'll always be saying goodbye.

Don't let that keep you from loving."

There is a sea not far from us. It is invisible, but it is not hidden.

It is forbidden to speak of it.

Yet it is a sin and a sign of ingratitude not to.

To my Sons and Daughter.