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They say havinga sister is like having
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a best friendyou can't get rid of.
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You know, whatever you dothey'll still be there.
4
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,723
Well that was never our story.
5
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:30,329
Our story is about how sisters can sink
each other... really sink each other.
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Morning, Martha.
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Hi, Eric.
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- That your sister?
- Oh, yeah, sure is.
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Hi.
10
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Smells like piss back here.
11
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Wow. I thought
your sister was kidding
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when she said
you were a buzz kill.
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Shannon? Hey, Shannon! Shan!
14
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Shannon!
15
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,859
Great. Now we're going to have
to clean up after a bunch
16
00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:09,361
of sweaty Lezzies.
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00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,196
God, what is with you today?
18
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:12,798
Why did you have to tell
that guy I'm a buzz kill?
19
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,633
Oh my God! Shannon Jackson?
20
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,802
- What?
- It's me! Kristen!
21
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I work at the front desk.
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00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,638
Okay.
23
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,540
You remember, kristen Metz?
24
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,841
Wow, oh my God.
25
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,143
You don't remember me?
26
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:25,344
No? Kristen?
27
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:26,678
Remember, I was, like,
28
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,580
"ah! My ankle! Ow!"
29
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:29,882
Did I kick you in the ankle?
30
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:32,151
Then I was like "sign my cast!"
31
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,652
And then... you couldn't...
32
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,789
you didn't do it,
but, God, I knew it was you!
33
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,258
Are we talking
about high school?
34
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,826
- Yes.
- Okay, I remember you.
35
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,161
Okay, great.
36
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:43,195
And what are you doing here?
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00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,897
I thought you were,
38
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:47,566
like, teaching at that fancy pants
school in Carmel by the sea?
39
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,268
Yeah, I was but then
40
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,637
I got fired 'cause
I fucked a bunch of people.
41
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,772
- Oh.
- Yeah.
42
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,707
Woops.
43
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,510
Janitor, lacrosse coach,
couple subs,
44
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,246
the headmaster...
that was my big mistake
45
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,915
actually because we got
caught by some kids
46
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,550
under the bleachers
at homecoming.
47
00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:05,918
Oh.
48
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,587
So now I'm
a registered sex offender.
49
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,322
Yay!
50
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,790
Yeah.
51
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,560
Oh, you can't clean any rooms
with kids in them.
52
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:17,362
But that's fine. They're
always really dirty anyway.
53
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:20,933
Oh, by the way, I sucked
your boyfriend's dick at
54
00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:22,201
Chris Deluca's prom party.
55
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,468
I'm sorry?
56
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,970
Yeah. I think he must
ate a lot of pineapple
57
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,506
because his spunk is tasty.
58
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,508
You guys married?
Is it Scott Metz?
59
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,746
So I guess we may as well
just jump in, right?
60
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,447
Get started, basically
61
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,583
you just get your key out
of lanyard like that
62
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,818
and then you knock
three times, yeah?
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00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,453
And then you say...
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00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:44,323
fuck off! I'm sleeping!
65
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,924
Okay, let's not go in there.
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00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:50,596
Ugh. People are disgusting.
67
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:52,698
Check this. This is how you
put on a new pillow case.
68
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,234
Then what you do is
the double-fold maneuver.
69
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,835
This is also really nice
70
00:03:56,837 --> 00:04:00,739
to do in your own home, and
then like that, fluff, fluff.
71
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,507
Perfect p-case.
72
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,543
Why are you changing
the pillow cases?
73
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,745
It's the same people.
They're not checking out.
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00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,814
Okay, how about we just try
to keep this job,
75
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,449
shan, and not be so lazy?
76
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,883
Fine.
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00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,853
What do I do with their shit?
Do I have to fold it?
78
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:18,323
Okay, if I raped you
right now what would you do?
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00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,926
I don't want to play
this game right now.
80
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,560
You never want to play.
81
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,562
Yeah, I know,
that's why I'm not playing.
82
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,431
This was a stupid game when
we were kids and it still is.
83
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,799
Hey, remember
that old French president
84
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,735
who attacked that African maid?
85
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:32,271
He was like a grandpa and she
still had to spit his jizz.
86
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:35,374
Well, I'm not
spitting anyone's jizz.
87
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,409
Okay, if I raped you right
now what would you do?
88
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,678
No one's raping me
in this uniform.
89
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,480
It's not really my color.
90
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,750
What you want to do in a rape
situation is yell, "fire!"
91
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,451
Why wouldn't I yell rape?
92
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,420
No one responds to that.
93
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,656
Who are your friends?
94
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:53,358
So basically you put your
laundry inside the unit.
95
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,826
And then you want to make sure
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00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,030
you have full load
before you start the machine.
97
00:04:58,032 --> 00:04:59,798
Hey, Martha.
98
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,466
Hey, Jerry.
How was your vacation?
99
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,036
Dollywood was awesome.
100
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:05,871
You must be Shannon.
101
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,639
Welcome to the family.
102
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:11,410
Your sister said
that you're a great sister.
103
00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:14,913
I've got my bucket.
104
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,849
And then when that's done
you can just move over and,
105
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,384
you know, close it up.
106
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:20,886
Hit start.
107
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,754
Then once that's going
you can move over here
108
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,089
and start folding stuff.
109
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,724
Who is that?
110
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,993
Who? Jerry? Oh, he's
the executive maid.
111
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,594
He's worked here
for like 15 years.
112
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,063
So he's the top dog.
113
00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:32,664
You're kidding. That's our boss?
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God, shan.
115
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:39,638
What? I'm just saying.
116
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,506
Don't be so insensitive.
117
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,975
You're lucky that he thinks
sex offenders fight sex crimes.
118
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:48,914
You know this spot
is really competitive.
119
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,882
You want to go get
some hump day drinks
120
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:54,820
to celebrate your first day?
121
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,722
Not really.
122
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,734
Come on. Who's a better dancer?
123
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,869
Me or Jodie foster
in "the accused?"
124
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,004
That's not a contest
you want to win.
125
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,943
I like this place
'cause of the music.
126
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,111
That's great.
127
00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:21,446
And the girls.
128
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,081
I'm so glad your back.
129
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,083
When are you going to tell about
the last few weeks of rehab?
130
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,685
I'm not.
131
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,420
Rehab is rehab, you know?
132
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,556
It's my recovery. It's private.
It's my thing.
133
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,657
Well how do you think
you're doing, though?
134
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:33,825
Do you think you're better?
135
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,761
I don't know.
136
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,463
I feel numb.
137
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:43,702
Well, hey, at least numbness
is a feeling, right?
138
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,604
To numbness.
139
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,577
What was that?
140
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,012
What was what?
141
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,449
That, shan.
That didn't seem numb.
142
00:06:57,451 --> 00:07:01,052
I'm allowed to look
at other human beings.
143
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:04,022
How's that freeloading
weirdo you're dating?
144
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,626
Who? Alicia?
She's not a weirdo.
145
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,060
Maybe you're thinking
about somebody else.
146
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,529
I think I'm thinking of Alicia.
147
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,197
Um, I don't know.
148
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,065
She's just going through a hard
time right now, so we split up.
149
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,700
She wanted to like...
150
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,102
suck some dicks?
151
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,004
No, she didn't want to...
stop, Shannon.
152
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:20,639
She's a loser straight girl
153
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,541
who was never going
to settle down with you.
154
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,042
I like helping people.
155
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,744
Yeah, you know, who else did?
156
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,846
Mom, and it left her
with two tits full of cancer
157
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:28,880
so enjoy that.
158
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:34,085
I'm gonna go pay
for these beers.
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00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,153
As usual.
160
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:47,799
Hey, shan, you sure you don't
want to go with me, right?
161
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,901
I have a meeting.
162
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,903
You want some fiddle
for your paddle?
163
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,906
No, I'm good. I'll get
something on the way.
164
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,075
Okay, if you get hungry there's
some stuff in the freezer.
165
00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:02,547
There's bagel bites, three cheese,
cheese, sausage and pepperoni.
166
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,716
Stop treating me like I'm dad.
167
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,686
Well, you know, someone
had to take care of him.
168
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,788
Look, if you want something else
169
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,223
there's pb & j
or grilled cheese stuff.
170
00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:12,224
I've been here a week.
171
00:08:12,226 --> 00:08:13,492
I know my food options.
172
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:14,926
Just go to class.
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00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:18,697
And there's pineapple
and country crock.
174
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,131
Are you sure you're
going to be okay?
175
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,833
Yeah.
176
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,001
Promise you're going
to eat something, right,
177
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,002
- not just smoke?
- Yeah.
178
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,506
Okay.
179
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:28,740
I'll see you in
a couple of hours.
180
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,576
Have a great meeting.
181
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:34,646
Hey, shan, I just want to say
that, you know,
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00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,048
I'm hella proud of you
183
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,284
that you're getting
your life back together.
184
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,052
I know you're going to make it.
185
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,954
I mean look at me.
186
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,890
Thanks, dummy.
187
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:48,126
Okay, see you,
wouldn't want to be you.
188
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,228
I don't mean it.
189
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,898
I'll be back, the Terminator.
190
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,833
I'll be back.
191
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:58,303
Like, I'm going to come back
after the gym.
192
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,189
- Hey.
- Hey.
193
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,992
Thanks for the text but you were
supposed to call, not come over.
194
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,627
Oh.
195
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,329
Sorry, well,
I'm here now so come on out.
196
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,830
Let's fuck like
horny teenagers.
197
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,732
Come on. Come on.
198
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,701
Uh...
199
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,571
Yeah, no. I can't because I
forgot tonight was date night.
200
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,739
Julie is coming home and we're
going to play "scrabble."
201
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,341
What? God.
202
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,276
- Your wife sucks.
- Yeah, I know.
203
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,679
Everything but your dick.
204
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:43,882
I stayed in that hotel
room for two weeks
205
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,317
so that my sister wouldn't
know I got kicked out
206
00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:47,152
of rehab for you.
207
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,820
Yeah, I'm the one who
forged the release papers
208
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:49,854
so the court wouldn't
be all over your ass.
209
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,256
It was the least you could do.
210
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,624
I'm pretty sure
therapists aren't supposed
211
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,225
to fuck their rehab patients.
212
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,294
Therapists are screwed up
people. Everybody knows that.
213
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,363
You're the one who Sharon stoned
me in the office, remember?
214
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,231
- That's hot.
- It was very hot.
215
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,833
"Basic instinct"
is a great movie.
216
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,134
But I can't.
217
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,669
You said when I get back
to my sister's,
218
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,905
we'd be back
on a regular schedule.
219
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,306
I need to get laid.
220
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,308
You know,
I think as your therapist
221
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:13,912
you should probably go
to a meeting tonight, okay?
222
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:17,048
I'm wet.
223
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,752
Fine, meetings are
great places to get laid.
224
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,621
Okay, I can fuck you in the car
225
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,789
but I have 10 minutes
and that's it. Let's go.
226
00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:35,333
From your hips. From your hips.
227
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,235
Watch your footwork.
228
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:46,277
I promise I won't make
you do more.
229
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,985
Okay. Um...
230
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,188
Okay.
231
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,791
Krav Maga.
We have one rule, one rule only.
232
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,660
Never stop fighting!
233
00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,762
- Hiya!
- Hiya!
234
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,296
Thank you.
235
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,298
I'm here mondays,
236
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,735
wednesdays, Fridays at 8:00 P.M.,
weekends I'm here at noon.
237
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:12,270
The rest of the time
238
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:16,041
I'm studying to become a nun
so don't bother me.
239
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:21,680
- Hello.
- Hey, Kelly. Great class.
240
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:24,249
Amazing focus tonight. Really.
241
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:27,318
I'm totally rethinking my plan
of knifing you in an alley.
242
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,821
I didn't know
you had that plan.
243
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:32,190
Hey have you seen
Alicia around?
244
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,792
I just thought
that I would see her
245
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,760
'cause she usually
works out at night.
246
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:36,928
I mean, thank God I didn't
'cause it's just...
247
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,163
it's weird because, you know,
248
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,898
she can't work out
in the morning.
249
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:40,899
And she doesn't get down
with her paralegal stuff
250
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,834
until like 7:00.
251
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,302
And then she can only really
work out between 7:30 and 8:30
252
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,904
because she has to watch
"the good wife" at 9:00.
253
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,906
And she's not here.
254
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,375
I haven't seen her.
255
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,876
I probably shouldn't
tell you this
256
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,344
but I really think
I pulled something
257
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,447
like, I mean gluts back there.
258
00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:58,983
I probably shouldn't have
had those beers pre-class.
259
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,219
That's okay.
260
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,989
Why don't we go somewhere
and continue having beers?
261
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,759
And then get some thai food
or something.
262
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:08,960
Do you want to do that?
263
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,495
I love thai.
264
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,064
It's just it sucks
because I can't tonight so,
265
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,999
you know, my sister is back
266
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,935
and I just... I don't want to
leave her home alone too long.
267
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,002
She's still fragile.
268
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:19,938
Okay, cool.
269
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:22,974
I mean not cool that she's
fragile or whatever. I'm sorry...
270
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,476
what's up, shorties?
271
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,077
What?
272
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:30,415
I was just trying
to make some small talk.
273
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,783
Bye.
274
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,852
Bye.
275
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:39,257
Today we're talking about our
bottoms, so p.s. On the tops.
276
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,093
Watch the trigger material,
please.
277
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,895
Sorry, Denise.
278
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,998
Talking about our rock bottoms.
279
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,267
I was living
a pretty awesome life.
280
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,303
I worked at "the Oprah show"
in Chicago.
281
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,305
I started as an assistant,
282
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,274
worked my way up
to associate producer.
283
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,276
I was making a lot of money.
284
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:02,781
And I was doing a lot of blow,
like, a lot of blow.
285
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,783
And you know how blow is.
It's very slimming.
286
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:07,318
I had like abs to my neck.
287
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,889
I looked like a fucking
Pakistani mark-Paul Gosselaar.
288
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:14,192
That's Zack Morris
from "saved by the bell."
289
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,560
Everything was going great.
290
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:21,332
I had that shit on lock,
or so I thought.
291
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,334
Cut to two years later
292
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:26,805
and I wake up completely naked in
an abandoned construction site
293
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:29,407
outside of wrigley field.
294
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,042
How did I get there?
295
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:34,212
I don't know.
I don't even like baseball.
296
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:38,116
Anyway when I...
297
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:42,020
Did make it to
work that day, I got fired.
298
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,956
Oprah was very strict
about that.
299
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:49,460
I was this close to Oprah,
literally this close.
300
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:52,063
She would walk right by me.
301
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:55,133
And I threw it all away
for drugs and dick...
302
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:59,170
mediocre, mediocre dick.
303
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,371
Pretty good drugs though.
304
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,275
Thank you.
305
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:07,078
I don't, like, consider
losing a job a bottom.
306
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,112
It wasn't just any job.
307
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:09,547
It was a job with Oprah winfrey.
308
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,283
Who gives a shit about Oprah?
309
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,551
America.
310
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:14,986
She's a bitch.
311
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,559
Shan, the smog index is at 2.
312
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,962
It's a great day. Get up.
313
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,964
Hey, shan,
314
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:29,033
I laid out your uniform and the
shower's hot and ready for you.
315
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,168
I'm going to make us breakfast.
316
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,302
Okay.
317
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,637
You need to get up.
318
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,906
I heard you.
319
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:37,208
I'm employee of the month
so I don't want to be late.
320
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,943
I know you don't.
321
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:43,481
You shouldn't eat that crap.
322
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:47,285
You know, you've been
edgy all morning, shan.
323
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,520
I thought those meetings were
supposed to help mellow you out.
324
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:52,957
It's called progress
not perfection.
325
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:56,060
And I don't change the fact that
I still live in this shit bowl.
326
00:14:56,062 --> 00:15:00,031
Hey, if you hate Fresno so much
why did you come back?
327
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:03,067
Obviously because I've made a
series of poor life decisions.
328
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,536
Look, positive thinking
means positive results.
329
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:09,173
Hey, I own a home.
That's my American dream.
330
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,377
Location, location, location.
331
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:28,359
Hey, Nancy.
332
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:33,498
We're actually going down.
333
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:34,599
Oh, yeah?
334
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,102
I'll take the ride with you.
335
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,437
You're new here.
336
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:43,441
I know everyone who works
in the hotel. So...
337
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,576
How do you like the job so far?
338
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:48,112
I clean rooms.
How do you think I like it?
339
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,113
Right.
340
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,016
Enjoy your burrito.
341
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,685
Have a great day, ladies.
342
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:01,192
I hate that guy. He's always
here with prostitutes.
343
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,261
Prostitutes have to eat too.
344
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,096
Well, he's gross.
345
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,598
He's fine.
Don't be so judgmental.
346
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,300
We're still not cleaning 400.
347
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,337
His room smells like burnt hair
and he reuses old condoms.
348
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:13,638
Nobody does that.
349
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,073
He does.
350
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,975
- Shan.
- What?
351
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,677
He hangs them over the shower
rod like wiener cozies.
352
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,646
Well, that's foul.
353
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,481
I appreciate your
creativity right now
354
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,550
but this isn't an art project.
This is a professional job.
355
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,185
You told me to stock my cart.
356
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,587
I am stocking my cart.
357
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,022
You're over-stocking.
358
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,457
That is way too
much toilet paper.
359
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,339
No one is going
to go to the bathroom that much.
360
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:48,239
Um, you know, I'll take
rooms 403 to 408.
361
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,674
Well, all right.
362
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,409
Are you sure you're going
to be fine on your own?
363
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,478
I think I can clean pubes
off soap by myself.
364
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,346
Thank you.
365
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,476
Hey, did you get that
picture I sent you?
366
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:27,378
Yes, I did.
You look very healthy.
367
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,247
You look very well hydrated.
368
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,782
I just posted it on Instagram.
369
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:32,650
I have 10,000 new followers.
370
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:37,555
Listen, I have
some very big news.
371
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,756
What is it?
372
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,691
I gave Julie the letter.
373
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,761
I'm finally out,
like, really out.
374
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,064
Wait, why? What did you do?
375
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,765
I gave her the letter.
I told her everything.
376
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,434
What?
377
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,635
You know, I didn't think
I was going to be able
378
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:52,370
to do it but I saw the moment.
379
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,572
It sort of presented itself,
and then I was present for it.
380
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,541
And it just kind of happened.
381
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,776
She didn't take it very well.
382
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:01,079
But, you know,
that's going to be her thing.
383
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,381
I want to be a real couple,
okay?
384
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,183
I want to go to movies with you
385
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,118
and sit at the same table
in restaurants
386
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,553
and not have to fuck
in the bush.
387
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:12,523
- What do you think?
- Why would you do that?
388
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:16,260
Well, because you told me that
you wanted me to leave my wife.
389
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,663
Yeah, but I didn't think
you'd actually do it.
390
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:21,399
God! Who does that? Go back.
391
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,734
Well, I can't go back.
I just told her and I'd...
392
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,536
go back, Edwin.
393
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:28,606
Shannon, I love you, all right?
394
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,808
I'm in this.
You're in this too, right?
395
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,177
Look, I can't take this kind
of pressure right now.
396
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:34,846
Huh? What do you mean
you can't take...
397
00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:37,281
I'm not what... what?
398
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,510
Hey, can you come back in 10?
399
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,345
Do you want to fuck?
400
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,447
Hey, Alicia,
it's Martha calling.
401
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,283
I was just calling
402
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,552
because I didn't see you
at the gym last night
403
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,822
and that makes
me really worried.
404
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,791
You call me champ,
405
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,833
and I'll fuck you so hard
you'll come out your butt.
406
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,666
I thought about what you said
407
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,768
and I told her that you can
only stay for two more weeks.
408
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:35,406
I mean, I haven't told her yet
but I'm going to tell her, so...
409
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,441
But it would be really great
to you about that.
410
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,318
Go... go to the bed.
411
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:54,692
Uh, I mean, I know you said
you didn't want to talk.
412
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:58,863
So, if you feel like it, okay?
413
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,431
So, I don't know,
414
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,600
maybe we can hang out again soon
or something
415
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:05,836
or just call me or text me.
416
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:10,608
- Get down.
- Okay.
417
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,376
Yeah.
418
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,212
Gonna get it.
419
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,913
Okay, bye.
420
00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:42,740
Shannon?
421
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,621
Shannon?
422
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,860
Housekeeping.
423
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,677
Fire! Fire! Fire!
424
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:20,945
What the? What the fuck?
425
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,681
- Fire!
- Get off... get off of her.
426
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:24,682
Shan!
427
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,384
You were right.
428
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:29,687
- Tag team!
- Get away from my little sister!
429
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,489
You still have your pussy,
baby.
430
00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:32,823
Jump back on my dick.
431
00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:34,146
You're a disgusting
piece of shit.
432
00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:39,730
Shan!
433
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:40,998
No, no, no, shan.
434
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,533
God, what is wrong with you?
435
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:44,902
What is wrong with you?
436
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:47,738
What the fuck were you thinking?
What the fuck, shan?
437
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:48,806
- God.
- Okay.
438
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:49,807
- Oh, my God.
- Okay. Okay.
439
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:53,744
Okay. Okay. Shannon.
440
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:57,348
Is he dead? Holy shit, shit.
441
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:58,416
He's dead Shannon.
442
00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:00,017
Did I just kill someone?
443
00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:02,687
I don't hear anything, shan.
444
00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:03,988
Did I just fucking kill someone?
445
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,623
Calm, be calm.
446
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,625
- Oh, my God.
- Okay. It's going to be okay.
447
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:10,494
What am I going to do?
What are we going to do?
448
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:11,829
He was raping you, right?
449
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,631
- Yes.
- Right? Raping?
450
00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:15,633
100% rape.
451
00:22:15,635 --> 00:22:17,435
That's was a rape.
452
00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:20,471
He was raping
the shit out of me.
453
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,707
Okay, then he was raping you.
454
00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:24,642
What are you doing? What?
Martha! What are you doing?
455
00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:26,044
What are you doing?
Don't you put...
456
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:27,411
- I'm going to the front desk.
- Don't even...
457
00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:30,414
front desk.
458
00:22:30,416 --> 00:22:32,350
What? Are you calling
the front desk?
459
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:33,484
I'm telling them what happened.
460
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:35,486
No, you're not.
461
00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:37,054
Hello?
462
00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:40,524
- Hello?
- We can blame this on our boss.
463
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:42,860
- Jerry?
- Yeah, he would love jail.
464
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:44,462
It's very structured.
465
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:45,596
He'd make friends.
466
00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:47,131
Hello?
467
00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:49,400
Do you want me to go to jail?
468
00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:51,135
No, of course not.
469
00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:52,937
Is that what you want? 'Cause let
me tell you something, Martha.
470
00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:55,506
I am a registered sex offender.
471
00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:56,574
Do you understand that?
472
00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:58,609
How do I prove that
he raped me?
473
00:22:58,611 --> 00:23:00,478
I need your help.
474
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,580
Fine.
475
00:23:02,582 --> 00:23:03,914
We'll figure something out.
476
00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:07,752
Excuse me.
477
00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:10,855
Yeah, I got a phone call.
Is everything okay in there?
478
00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:12,690
Hello?
479
00:23:12,692 --> 00:23:15,126
Hello? This is kristen
from the front desk.
480
00:23:15,128 --> 00:23:17,094
Is everything okay in there?
481
00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:18,763
Can you open up, please?
482
00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:23,100
By law I need
to check what is going on.
483
00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:24,668
Can I help you?
484
00:23:24,670 --> 00:23:26,504
Let me in.
What's going on in there?
485
00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:28,005
Nothing. I'm just cleaning.
486
00:23:28,007 --> 00:23:29,740
Oh really? 'Cause I got
a strange call.
487
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:31,108
It sounded like a fight
or something.
488
00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:33,544
No, I'm just really
intensely cleaning.
489
00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:34,912
It's really dirty in here.
490
00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:37,047
Okay, listen to me,
if you were calling me
491
00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:39,150
and you were pranking me,
like in high school,
492
00:23:39,152 --> 00:23:40,951
that is grounds
for dismissal here, missy.
493
00:23:40,953 --> 00:23:43,721
And I am sure that Jerry
would love to hear about it.
494
00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:45,623
Well, then why don't you go
and tell him, kristen?
495
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:46,891
Good, I'm texting him
right now with my other hand
496
00:23:46,893 --> 00:23:48,058
that you can't see.
497
00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:50,461
- Whatever.
- No.
498
00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:56,767
We need to hurry.
Jerry's coming.
499
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:58,569
- Okay.
- What did you do?
500
00:23:58,571 --> 00:23:59,804
I'm just being respectful.
He deserves some dignity.
501
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:01,071
Everyone deserves some dignity.
502
00:24:01,073 --> 00:24:03,941
- Even rapists?
- Yes, even rapists.
503
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:05,709
Okay.
504
00:24:05,711 --> 00:24:06,877
Pull harder.
505
00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:18,823
Heading to 400, copy.
506
00:24:18,825 --> 00:24:20,191
Over and out, good buddy.
507
00:24:35,073 --> 00:24:36,707
Where are we taking him?
508
00:24:36,709 --> 00:24:38,476
The presidential
suite is empty.
509
00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:47,084
Lunch time.
510
00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:52,790
Good morning, ladies.
511
00:24:58,630 --> 00:25:00,197
Sorry. I don't know
why she's barking.
512
00:25:00,199 --> 00:25:02,099
Shit sheets.
513
00:25:02,101 --> 00:25:04,535
The sheets are filled
with shit. Yeah.
514
00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:05,669
Someone had an accident.
515
00:25:05,671 --> 00:25:06,904
A bachelor party.
516
00:25:06,906 --> 00:25:08,772
Have a good day.
Enjoy your stay here.
517
00:25:14,145 --> 00:25:16,947
Shit. He lives in Fresno.
518
00:25:16,949 --> 00:25:19,116
Hope he doesn't have
family here
519
00:25:19,118 --> 00:25:21,118
and they don't come
looking for him.
520
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,687
Maybe he doesn't have any family.
Our parents are dead.
521
00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:26,757
You are the only person who
would turn that into a positive.
522
00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:28,225
Look at this.
523
00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:31,562
Dude won a bronze in Beijing.
524
00:25:31,564 --> 00:25:33,197
You killed an olympian.
525
00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:36,767
Only if you consider hammer
throw a sport which...
526
00:25:37,837 --> 00:25:39,036
oh no. Fuck!
527
00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:40,704
Who would call him?
528
00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:42,139
Fuck! It's his sister.
529
00:25:42,141 --> 00:25:43,807
Okay, just give it to me.
530
00:25:43,809 --> 00:25:45,943
I'll just let it go to
voice mail, then we'll...
531
00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:47,912
hello?
532
00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:50,080
- I know you're there.
- It's a really old phone.
533
00:25:50,082 --> 00:25:52,116
- I didn't know.
- Hello?
534
00:25:53,752 --> 00:25:59,223
You have reached the voice-mail
box of...
535
00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:04,995
Boris lip-ka.
536
00:26:04,997 --> 00:26:08,165
At the tone leave a message.
537
00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:08,667
Beep!
538
00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:14,271
Hey. It's me.
539
00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,206
I know you're probablyjerking off in your hotel room
540
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:18,342
like a disgusting pigright now,
541
00:26:18,344 --> 00:26:21,312
but you better come homefor dad's birthday party today.
542
00:26:21,314 --> 00:26:24,048
I'm so fucking sick of dealing
with these two invalids on my own!
543
00:26:24,050 --> 00:26:26,250
You better be here by 3:00
544
00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:28,719
or I swear I'll come getyou myself.
545
00:26:28,721 --> 00:26:33,123
Okay, so they're not close
and his parents are invalids.
546
00:26:33,125 --> 00:26:34,658
I feel like this is good news.
547
00:26:34,660 --> 00:26:35,993
When he doesn't show up at 3:00
548
00:26:35,995 --> 00:26:38,829
his sister is going
to come looking for him.
549
00:26:38,831 --> 00:26:41,966
What if we dump his body
at dry creek canal
550
00:26:41,968 --> 00:26:43,233
and make it look a suicide?
551
00:26:43,235 --> 00:26:45,069
Isn't that
where everyone dumps bodies?
552
00:26:45,071 --> 00:26:46,971
How are we going to do that?
553
00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:04,722
Of course,
the rapist has a rapist van.
554
00:27:04,724 --> 00:27:06,124
Let's hurry up
and get him in there.
555
00:27:13,331 --> 00:27:16,300
Look, shan, he was trying
to be a good person.
556
00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:17,735
He was in to yoga.
557
00:27:17,737 --> 00:27:19,336
We can still go to the police.
558
00:27:19,338 --> 00:27:20,838
We're not going
to the police, okay?
559
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,273
We're dumping the body
at dry creek.
560
00:27:23,275 --> 00:27:25,876
Unless you can find his parents'
address in his phone.
561
00:27:25,878 --> 00:27:27,277
And then... then what?
562
00:27:27,279 --> 00:27:29,847
Just put him on the doorstep,
ring the bell?
563
00:27:29,849 --> 00:27:32,049
"Happy Birthday!
Here's your dead son."
564
00:27:32,051 --> 00:27:34,118
Calm down, all right?
565
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:36,420
Calm down.
566
00:27:36,422 --> 00:27:39,423
Just figure out a different way
to make his body disappear.
567
00:27:39,425 --> 00:27:41,091
Give me the phone.
Just give it to me.
568
00:27:44,696 --> 00:27:47,164
All right, here it is.
569
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:49,700
Mom and dad's address,
boom and boom.
570
00:27:49,702 --> 00:27:51,969
What are we going
to do when we get there?
571
00:27:51,971 --> 00:27:53,871
I have a plan.
572
00:28:05,884 --> 00:28:08,285
Use your key!
573
00:28:09,287 --> 00:28:12,089
Who are you?
574
00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:13,991
I'm a friend of Boris's,
as you must be his sister.
575
00:28:13,993 --> 00:28:15,793
- Yes, I am.
- I'm his friend.
576
00:28:15,795 --> 00:28:17,761
Boris doesn't have any friends.
577
00:28:17,763 --> 00:28:20,731
I'm his sister
and I'm not even his friend.
578
00:28:20,733 --> 00:28:22,099
Well...
579
00:28:29,974 --> 00:28:32,910
- well...
- Where is he?
580
00:28:32,912 --> 00:28:37,888
Uh... He's... Boris is
more than a friend to me.
581
00:28:37,914 --> 00:28:39,817
I'm his life guru.
582
00:28:39,819 --> 00:28:42,352
Oh, this is good.
So he's got a life coach now?
583
00:28:42,354 --> 00:28:43,420
Guru.
584
00:28:43,422 --> 00:28:44,822
Oh, guru.
585
00:28:44,824 --> 00:28:46,290
- Yeah.
- Interesting.
586
00:28:46,292 --> 00:28:47,858
So what kind of stuff
do you advise him on?
587
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,326
The best prostitutes to fuck?
588
00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:50,961
I can see why you would
say that
589
00:28:50,963 --> 00:28:53,997
and that has been his painful
reality for some time,
590
00:28:53,999 --> 00:28:55,733
but I'm hoping
with my help and guidance
591
00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:59,169
we can move him through that
and I can help him change.
592
00:28:59,171 --> 00:29:01,004
Well, it's too bad
that he wasn't here
593
00:29:01,006 --> 00:29:03,507
to help me when I was
changing pop's diapers, huh?
594
00:29:03,509 --> 00:29:05,109
Couldn't help him
with that I guess, right?
595
00:29:05,111 --> 00:29:06,977
Are you feeling a lot of pain?
596
00:29:06,979 --> 00:29:08,245
- Yes.
- Can I come in?
597
00:29:10,215 --> 00:29:13,083
Okay, come in.
598
00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:17,955
Guru, guru.
599
00:29:17,957 --> 00:29:18,956
Yes, I'm a...
600
00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:21,892
guru, guru.
601
00:29:21,894 --> 00:29:23,794
Guru.
602
00:29:25,897 --> 00:29:29,933
Guru, guru, guru.
603
00:29:36,308 --> 00:29:38,976
So I'm here to represent Boris.
604
00:29:38,978 --> 00:29:42,980
And he...
he has come to the realization
605
00:29:42,982 --> 00:29:45,115
that he has been living
in the past.
606
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:48,118
And although winning
an olympic bronze medal
607
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,020
is a major life achievement,
608
00:29:50,022 --> 00:29:52,790
he's never been
able to really move past this.
609
00:29:52,792 --> 00:29:59,229
So we've decided that's
it's due to fear of failure.
610
00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:00,831
He's afraid of failing!
611
00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:07,404
So we've decided the best
thing for Boris
612
00:30:07,406 --> 00:30:12,209
right now in order for him to start
over is to leave Fresno forever.
613
00:30:12,211 --> 00:30:14,211
To never ever come back,
614
00:30:14,213 --> 00:30:17,247
to sever all ties
with his family
615
00:30:17,249 --> 00:30:20,284
and to never ever talk
to you again.
616
00:30:27,860 --> 00:30:30,561
This is what I have to deal
with all day long.
617
00:30:30,563 --> 00:30:35,265
He requested
that I give you his backpack.
618
00:30:57,856 --> 00:31:01,491
Boris, don't leave me here!
619
00:31:01,493 --> 00:31:04,394
Boris is so sorry that he
has to leave the family,
620
00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:05,629
but he knows it's the only way
621
00:31:05,631 --> 00:31:07,064
he's going to be able
to grow up.
622
00:31:08,567 --> 00:31:10,467
Poopy!
623
00:31:11,936 --> 00:31:13,637
You better...
624
00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:17,541
you think she bought it?
625
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,443
I think so. But this will help.
626
00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:22,512
"Sell this
and get out of Fresno.
627
00:31:22,514 --> 00:31:25,983
I love you. But I can't
change another diaper."
628
00:31:25,985 --> 00:31:27,584
X-o-x-o, Boris.
629
00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:30,320
Yeah, sounds good.
630
00:31:30,322 --> 00:31:32,456
What should we do with him?
Should we just leave him here?
631
00:31:32,458 --> 00:31:35,893
No, dumb-ass we should roll
him back to the hotel
632
00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:37,294
and figure something out.
633
00:31:37,296 --> 00:31:39,229
God, shan, do you just have
to smoke all the time?
634
00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:41,098
Yes, I do.
635
00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:42,299
You know, we're in the middle
of a serious drought, right?
636
00:31:42,301 --> 00:31:44,101
Yes.
637
00:31:44,103 --> 00:31:46,336
I mean, do you just want the
whole place to go up in flames?
638
00:31:46,338 --> 00:31:50,173
Actually, yeah. That would kind of solve
our problem, if you think about it.
639
00:31:52,043 --> 00:31:54,177
We know somebody who has
a place right around here.
640
00:31:54,179 --> 00:31:56,179
We do?
641
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:02,119
Gerald?
642
00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:03,387
What the fuck, Martha.
643
00:32:03,389 --> 00:32:05,589
Be quiet and admit
it's a good idea.
644
00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:08,258
All right. And you were
saying the breed was a Dane?
645
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:09,927
Great Dane.
646
00:32:09,929 --> 00:32:11,695
- A great one?
- Yeah, that's why he's so big.
647
00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:12,963
Okay. So...
648
00:32:17,635 --> 00:32:19,670
You do remember?
649
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,607
Come on, man. My sister.
650
00:32:23,609 --> 00:32:25,008
I'm sorry.
651
00:32:25,010 --> 00:32:26,443
- Hey, what's going on?
- Hey.
652
00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:28,078
Hey.
653
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,680
These are old friends of mine,
Shannon and Martha.
654
00:32:29,682 --> 00:32:31,682
Is this the scooter girl?
655
00:32:31,684 --> 00:32:33,383
How did you know that?
656
00:32:33,385 --> 00:32:35,619
You told me about her
on one of our first dates.
657
00:32:35,621 --> 00:32:37,087
Wow. You really listen to me.
658
00:32:37,089 --> 00:32:38,489
I listen to you
when you talk, baby.
659
00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:40,257
But you look the other way.
It's incredible.
660
00:32:40,259 --> 00:32:41,591
Yeah.
661
00:32:41,593 --> 00:32:43,493
What's in the bin?
662
00:32:43,495 --> 00:32:46,330
Really hope it's a dead dog
because we could use the cash.
663
00:32:46,332 --> 00:32:48,198
Sensitivity, honey, please.
664
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,667
I'm sorry. We really hope
it's your dead dog. Please?
665
00:32:50,669 --> 00:32:52,269
That's Boris.
He just passed away,
666
00:32:52,271 --> 00:32:54,204
so we're hoping
to get him cremated.
667
00:32:54,206 --> 00:32:56,106
Gerald was saying we could have the
friends and my family discount.
668
00:32:56,108 --> 00:32:58,008
I'm sorry.
669
00:32:58,010 --> 00:33:01,278
You know, this is the reason
why we're stuck here.
670
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,747
This, bullshit friends
and family thing.
671
00:33:03,749 --> 00:33:07,384
Not everyone is your family and
almost no one is your friend.
672
00:33:07,386 --> 00:33:09,519
Can we walk around the cemetery
and do this. It's just...
673
00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:13,757
we also... we need
to get the bin cremated too.
674
00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:16,760
There are no discounts
and the bin is extra.
675
00:33:16,762 --> 00:33:19,062
That's fine.
676
00:33:19,064 --> 00:33:20,731
We can pay.
677
00:33:20,733 --> 00:33:22,532
Okay. Hand me the tape measure.
678
00:33:22,534 --> 00:33:24,468
For what? Why do you need the...
why do need the tape measure?
679
00:33:24,470 --> 00:33:26,036
- We have to measure for the...
- We already know.
680
00:33:26,038 --> 00:33:27,337
No, we measured him.
681
00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:28,638
It's the average size
of a great Dane.
682
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,073
It's five foot,
something, something.
683
00:33:30,075 --> 00:33:32,409
Just charge us
a great Dane price.
684
00:33:32,411 --> 00:33:34,144
The extra, extra large.
It's fine.
685
00:33:34,146 --> 00:33:36,046
- You guys can leave.
- You don't have to measure him.
686
00:33:36,048 --> 00:33:38,289
- You don't have to measure him.
- I have to measure him.
687
00:33:39,018 --> 00:33:40,751
What the fuck?
688
00:33:40,753 --> 00:33:42,652
We said don't measure it!
689
00:33:48,726 --> 00:33:50,560
I'm sorry.
We need to call the cops.
690
00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:51,795
What for?
691
00:33:51,797 --> 00:33:53,397
- I'm with Ruby.
- Shut up.
692
00:33:53,399 --> 00:33:55,265
We own a business, all right?
693
00:33:55,267 --> 00:33:57,501
We can lose everything!
There's a human body in here.
694
00:33:57,503 --> 00:33:59,302
I understand that, okay?
Listen.
695
00:33:59,304 --> 00:34:01,304
- Do you understand that?
- Yes, I do.
696
00:34:01,306 --> 00:34:03,640
Well, I'm the business
person here, okay?
697
00:34:03,642 --> 00:34:05,776
We agreed... we agreed on that.
698
00:34:05,778 --> 00:34:08,145
And I say we don't call
the cops.
699
00:34:08,147 --> 00:34:09,780
Because if we call the cops,
what's going to happen?
700
00:34:09,782 --> 00:34:11,715
Nothing's going to...
they're going to go jail
701
00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:13,283
and we're not going
to get anything.
702
00:34:13,285 --> 00:34:14,451
No reward.
703
00:34:14,453 --> 00:34:15,653
I mean, you think that the guy
704
00:34:15,654 --> 00:34:17,120
who found the slave girls
in Ohio?
705
00:34:17,122 --> 00:34:18,221
- Ohio?
- Ariel Castro.
706
00:34:18,223 --> 00:34:19,589
Yeah. Do you think
that that guy...
707
00:34:19,591 --> 00:34:22,092
did he get anything?
Because he didn't.
708
00:34:22,094 --> 00:34:23,727
No. Uh-uh.
709
00:34:23,729 --> 00:34:25,829
He got, like, a hug
from a little white girl
710
00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:27,497
and then he got,
711
00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:28,732
like, an embarrassing interview
like got auto-tuned
712
00:34:28,734 --> 00:34:29,833
and, like,
put all over YouTube.
713
00:34:29,835 --> 00:34:31,268
That's not what we want.
714
00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:32,602
No, not at all.
715
00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:35,572
We're going to blackmail
these two bitches.
716
00:34:35,574 --> 00:34:37,107
Are you kidding?
717
00:34:37,109 --> 00:34:39,576
We want 25,000
to get out of this butt crack
718
00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:40,677
and we want it by Sunday.
719
00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:42,546
What?
720
00:34:42,548 --> 00:34:44,114
There's no way we can come up
with 25k in three days.
721
00:34:44,116 --> 00:34:45,449
We're in Fresno.
722
00:34:45,451 --> 00:34:47,584
- Yeah.
- I'm pretty sure you can.
723
00:34:47,586 --> 00:34:50,854
You seem very resourceful.
So three days, 25,000.
724
00:34:50,856 --> 00:34:52,556
- 25?
- We can go to Detroit with that.
725
00:34:52,558 --> 00:34:54,124
We could definitely go
to Detroit.
726
00:34:54,126 --> 00:34:56,126
We could move there
and we set up shop and...
727
00:34:56,128 --> 00:34:58,495
and guess what, you get
a cremation out of it.
728
00:34:58,497 --> 00:34:59,696
You know how good we are
at cremation?
729
00:34:59,698 --> 00:35:01,331
We're really good at them.
730
00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:03,233
A funeral service
like you will not believe.
731
00:35:03,235 --> 00:35:05,869
But, you know, if you don't
get the money then
732
00:35:05,871 --> 00:35:10,240
you're going to be charged for
manslaughter, so there's that.
733
00:35:10,242 --> 00:35:11,541
What about a payment plan?
734
00:35:11,543 --> 00:35:12,609
Nobody even has that.
735
00:35:12,611 --> 00:35:14,311
Layaway?
736
00:35:14,313 --> 00:35:16,513
Can I give you a little bit
advice as far as bodies go?
737
00:35:16,515 --> 00:35:20,484
That guy is going to rot
if you don't get him on ice.
738
00:35:20,486 --> 00:35:21,785
That's all. It just happens.
739
00:35:21,787 --> 00:35:24,788
It's biology.
740
00:35:24,790 --> 00:35:27,290
What a stupid ass idea.
741
00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:28,592
Gerald.
742
00:35:28,594 --> 00:35:30,460
Come on, he burns things
for a living, okay?
743
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:33,363
For $25,000! And they'll
probably still turn us in.
744
00:35:33,365 --> 00:35:34,564
They're not turning us in.
745
00:35:34,566 --> 00:35:36,500
She said she wants out
of Fresno.
746
00:35:36,502 --> 00:35:39,870
The only way to get 25k is
dealing drugs or prostitution.
747
00:35:41,506 --> 00:35:43,673
I just paid thousands
to put you in rehab
748
00:35:43,675 --> 00:35:45,242
and I double mortgaged
my house.
749
00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:47,577
You're not becoming
a prostitute.
750
00:35:47,579 --> 00:35:49,679
I'm not having sex.
I'll be your pimp.
751
00:35:49,681 --> 00:35:51,548
I'm not touching sweaty balls!
752
00:35:51,550 --> 00:35:53,650
They're not always sweaty.
753
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:56,520
Just pretend they're
tiny little boobs.
754
00:35:56,522 --> 00:35:58,188
Okay fine. What about this?
755
00:35:58,190 --> 00:36:00,390
What if we pull the
fire alarm in the hotel
756
00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:01,725
and steal it
from the front desk?
757
00:36:01,727 --> 00:36:03,527
I won't jeopardize my job.
758
00:36:03,529 --> 00:36:04,861
Listen! If we don't get
rid of this body
759
00:36:04,863 --> 00:36:06,463
that we're going to go to jail
760
00:36:06,465 --> 00:36:07,831
and you won't even have
a job, right?
761
00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:09,266
Yeah, well, thanks.
Thanks to your smoking,
762
00:36:09,268 --> 00:36:10,834
I for sure lost my V.I.P.
Parking spot.
763
00:36:10,836 --> 00:36:12,802
Okay.
764
00:36:12,804 --> 00:36:15,839
This is good. People only
pay in cash at sex shops.
765
00:36:15,841 --> 00:36:17,941
Let's rob it. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
766
00:36:17,943 --> 00:36:20,644
It's good.
767
00:36:23,415 --> 00:36:25,215
I can barely see.
768
00:36:25,217 --> 00:36:27,584
D.I.Y. Toilet paper,
it's genius.
769
00:36:27,586 --> 00:36:30,587
I know this place and
the workers are always high.
770
00:36:30,589 --> 00:36:33,757
It's easy money. Come on.
771
00:36:33,759 --> 00:36:35,792
This is stupid,
shan, we look ridiculous.
772
00:36:43,901 --> 00:36:45,602
Does anybody work here?
773
00:36:45,604 --> 00:36:47,537
Does anybody work here?
774
00:36:47,539 --> 00:36:49,306
Yeah, sorry smoke break.
775
00:36:51,275 --> 00:36:52,909
Oh, I like the T.P.
On your head.
776
00:36:52,911 --> 00:36:54,544
It's all rapey and sexy.
777
00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:56,379
I am very into scat.
778
00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:58,348
I need you to come over
here right now
779
00:36:58,350 --> 00:37:00,750
and open this cash register
and I need all the cash, now.
780
00:37:00,752 --> 00:37:01,918
Yeah, get over here.
781
00:37:08,326 --> 00:37:10,927
Who knew sex shops were
such a cash poor business.
782
00:37:10,929 --> 00:37:12,963
These dildos have got
to be worth something.
783
00:38:15,994 --> 00:38:17,894
Come on, let's go.
784
00:38:21,666 --> 00:38:23,700
I can't believe
we only made $400.
785
00:38:23,702 --> 00:38:26,436
It's fair to say
we overestimated the market.
786
00:38:26,438 --> 00:38:27,871
That's a fucking
understatement.
787
00:38:27,873 --> 00:38:29,506
Lesbians are poor.
788
00:38:29,508 --> 00:38:31,474
They always are
and they always will be.
789
00:38:31,476 --> 00:38:33,576
Shan, don't be homophobic
right now, okay?
790
00:38:33,578 --> 00:38:34,911
I only tell the truth.
791
00:38:34,913 --> 00:38:36,546
Well here's the truth.
792
00:38:36,548 --> 00:38:39,349
Whose great idea
was it to rob a sex shop, okay?
793
00:38:39,351 --> 00:38:40,750
It's wasn't mine.
That was yours.
794
00:38:40,752 --> 00:38:42,519
Let me remind you.
That was my second idea.
795
00:38:42,521 --> 00:38:43,953
My first was to rob hotel rooms,
796
00:38:43,955 --> 00:38:45,955
but somebody was too scared
of getting in trouble.
797
00:38:45,957 --> 00:38:47,824
You know what?
798
00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:49,592
Why don't you take these dildos
and shove them up your ass?
799
00:38:49,594 --> 00:38:50,794
Oh, that's a really
nice thing to say
800
00:38:50,796 --> 00:38:53,530
to a recovering sex addict.
801
00:38:53,532 --> 00:38:55,332
Could you not be so
annoying right now...
802
00:38:55,334 --> 00:38:56,800
you stop being so annoying!
803
00:38:56,802 --> 00:38:59,336
Stop it! Stop.
804
00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:00,370
You want to get titty fucked?
805
00:39:00,372 --> 00:39:01,838
I'll titty fuck you!
806
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,606
- Titty fuck this!
- No! Okay! You're going down.
807
00:39:03,608 --> 00:39:06,042
- Oh, my God. Ow!
- Yeah.
808
00:39:06,044 --> 00:39:07,877
What are you doing? Get off me!
809
00:39:07,879 --> 00:39:10,013
- No, it's my turn to hurt you.
- What did I ever do to you?
810
00:39:10,015 --> 00:39:11,981
We wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for you.
811
00:39:11,983 --> 00:39:13,850
Oh, sure. Blame me for
everything while you're at it.
812
00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:15,919
Blame me for mom dying
of cancer and dad
813
00:39:15,921 --> 00:39:18,088
drinking himself to death. Ow!
814
00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:19,989
I already do!
815
00:39:26,497 --> 00:39:28,131
Where are you going?
816
00:39:28,133 --> 00:39:30,834
Where are you going?
817
00:39:30,836 --> 00:39:32,869
We still have a rotting corpse
to deal with.
818
00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:34,704
You know what?
819
00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:37,374
Just turn me in because I
don't give a shit anymore.
820
00:39:37,376 --> 00:39:39,409
Fuck!
821
00:40:13,110 --> 00:40:14,744
Give me one of those.
822
00:40:16,714 --> 00:40:17,914
You're welcome.
823
00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:19,949
Am I supposed to say thank you?
824
00:40:19,951 --> 00:40:21,785
Most people would.
825
00:40:21,787 --> 00:40:25,922
From what your sister says,
you're not most people.
826
00:40:25,924 --> 00:40:28,124
Well, Martha needs to learn
her fucking mouth shut.
827
00:40:28,126 --> 00:40:29,826
Whoa! Whoa!
828
00:40:29,828 --> 00:40:31,161
Language.
829
00:40:32,463 --> 00:40:35,532
Look,
I know it can be difficult,
830
00:40:35,534 --> 00:40:39,569
but, you know,
your sister's pulling for you.
831
00:40:39,571 --> 00:40:40,770
She's a good person.
832
00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:41,938
How do you know?
833
00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:43,540
She helped me quit
smoking weed.
834
00:40:43,542 --> 00:40:45,608
It doesn't look
like she was very helpful.
835
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,013
I used to smoke weed
like all the time.
836
00:40:50,015 --> 00:40:51,181
I never get any writing done.
837
00:40:51,183 --> 00:40:54,083
Now I just smoke
before and after work,
838
00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:56,085
and I get stuff done.
839
00:40:56,087 --> 00:41:00,023
In rehab we had more
of an all-or-nothing approach
840
00:41:00,025 --> 00:41:03,226
with a little bit
of higher powers
841
00:41:03,228 --> 00:41:06,162
surrender yourself
bullshit peppered in.
842
00:41:06,164 --> 00:41:07,764
Does it work?
843
00:41:07,766 --> 00:41:09,799
It seems to if you believe
you have a problem.
844
00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:14,604
So what do you write?
845
00:41:15,773 --> 00:41:19,108
Uh... I write poetry.
846
00:41:19,110 --> 00:41:21,044
Really?
847
00:41:21,046 --> 00:41:23,513
So you're all deep and shit?
848
00:41:23,515 --> 00:41:25,782
I don't know, maybe.
849
00:41:25,784 --> 00:41:28,785
Well, let's hear one.
850
00:41:28,787 --> 00:41:30,053
Fresno.
851
00:41:30,055 --> 00:41:31,688
I don't like it already.
852
00:41:35,159 --> 00:41:36,893
Fresno.
853
00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:40,163
Lord, why is it so hot?
854
00:41:40,165 --> 00:41:42,131
Did you mean for it
to be this hot?
855
00:41:42,133 --> 00:41:44,834
Or did you leave the house
in a hurry and Fresno
856
00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:47,036
was the oven you forget
to turn off?
857
00:41:47,038 --> 00:41:48,538
Fresno.
858
00:41:48,540 --> 00:41:51,140
Yes, that smell is dead animal.
859
00:41:51,142 --> 00:41:53,276
Do you like it?
860
00:41:53,278 --> 00:41:54,944
Fresno.
861
00:41:54,946 --> 00:41:59,082
Where is stuff, like, anything?
862
00:41:59,084 --> 00:42:03,520
Fresno, where the best job
I could get is the worse job
863
00:42:03,522 --> 00:42:05,121
I've ever had.
864
00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:08,057
No, hotel guest, I cannot
tell you where anything is.
865
00:42:08,059 --> 00:42:13,229
If knew where anything else was,
I'd be there.
866
00:42:13,231 --> 00:42:15,131
Fresno.
867
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:25,909
Come on!
868
00:42:25,911 --> 00:42:28,578
Come on, Martha. My dead grandma
could kick harder than you.
869
00:42:36,854 --> 00:42:37,887
There we go!
870
00:42:37,889 --> 00:42:39,789
Come on!
871
00:42:42,593 --> 00:42:47,130
So, like sands
through the hourglass,
872
00:42:47,132 --> 00:42:50,567
so are the days of our lives.
873
00:42:50,569 --> 00:42:52,302
That's plagiarism.
874
00:42:52,304 --> 00:42:53,636
I literally wrote that.
875
00:42:53,638 --> 00:42:54,971
Whether you believe it or not.
876
00:42:54,973 --> 00:42:56,873
- I think so.
- That's so lame.
877
00:42:56,875 --> 00:42:58,141
That's partially.
878
00:42:58,143 --> 00:43:00,043
I think you don't know
enough about prose
879
00:43:00,045 --> 00:43:01,811
to really give me
an accurate critique.
880
00:43:01,813 --> 00:43:03,313
I know about pros. I know
about pro baseball players.
881
00:43:03,315 --> 00:43:05,949
I know about pro basketball
players. I know about...
882
00:43:05,951 --> 00:43:08,651
I'm off work, like now.
883
00:43:08,653 --> 00:43:11,287
Do you want to go do something?
884
00:43:11,289 --> 00:43:12,755
I do.
885
00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:14,157
Okay, everyone in a circle.
886
00:43:14,159 --> 00:43:16,693
Yes. Faster, faster,
faster, faster!
887
00:43:22,266 --> 00:43:24,968
Krav Maga. We have one rule,
one rule only.
888
00:43:24,970 --> 00:43:26,803
Never stop fighting!
889
00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,011
- Hiyah.
- Hiyah.
890
00:43:35,013 --> 00:43:39,849
Thank you. Bryan email me,
Wednesday about privates.
891
00:43:39,851 --> 00:43:41,351
We'll work it out.
892
00:43:41,353 --> 00:43:43,252
- Okay.
- Cool.
893
00:43:44,888 --> 00:43:46,823
How long has Alicia
been with that dude?
894
00:43:46,825 --> 00:43:47,991
I don't know.
895
00:43:47,993 --> 00:43:51,127
I don't really talk to them.
896
00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:52,762
You were at
that softball thing.
897
00:43:52,764 --> 00:43:54,263
Oh yeah. Oh, I didn't
want to interrupt.
898
00:43:54,265 --> 00:43:56,099
You there with your date.
899
00:43:56,101 --> 00:43:59,235
Yeah. Tanya is just a friend.
900
00:43:59,237 --> 00:44:00,703
See you tomorrow.
901
00:44:00,705 --> 00:44:02,672
- Yup.
- He's the worst.
902
00:44:02,674 --> 00:44:04,941
Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?
903
00:44:04,943 --> 00:44:06,643
Oh, my God, please tell me
904
00:44:06,645 --> 00:44:08,411
you are going to Noah's
bar Mitzvah tomorrow night?
905
00:44:08,413 --> 00:44:10,913
I actually wasn't even invited.
906
00:44:10,915 --> 00:44:12,715
Well, lucky you.
907
00:44:12,717 --> 00:44:17,654
Noah's parents pay for
privates so I have to go.
908
00:44:17,656 --> 00:44:19,288
And you have to come with me.
909
00:44:19,290 --> 00:44:21,224
Like as your fake date?
910
00:44:21,226 --> 00:44:23,926
No, as a real date.
911
00:44:23,928 --> 00:44:25,828
Is that a yes?
912
00:44:30,034 --> 00:44:31,367
Whoa! Whoa.
913
00:44:31,369 --> 00:44:34,804
- What?
- Let's... do you want to...
914
00:44:34,806 --> 00:44:36,305
- let's...
- Let's go to the desk.
915
00:44:36,307 --> 00:44:38,374
No, that's not what I mean.
916
00:44:38,376 --> 00:44:40,143
Can we just slow down
a little bit.
917
00:44:40,145 --> 00:44:42,378
- What?
- Please, can we just slow down?
918
00:44:42,380 --> 00:44:45,748
Are you... what,
tell me you're not gay?
919
00:44:45,750 --> 00:44:47,417
No. I mean, no. I mean, no.
920
00:44:47,419 --> 00:44:50,186
Let's talk. Just talk, okay?
921
00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:52,155
Oh God, you are gay.
922
00:44:52,157 --> 00:44:53,723
No. My God.
923
00:44:56,393 --> 00:44:57,760
I don't know
why I'm telling you this,
924
00:44:57,762 --> 00:45:01,764
but... Jesus...
925
00:45:01,766 --> 00:45:03,733
I haven't slept with anyone
926
00:45:03,735 --> 00:45:05,168
since me and girlfriend broke
up a couple of months ago.
927
00:45:05,170 --> 00:45:06,335
Seriously?
928
00:45:06,337 --> 00:45:07,804
Yeah.
929
00:45:07,806 --> 00:45:08,871
Do you, like,
not like condoms or something?
930
00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:10,139
No.
931
00:45:10,141 --> 00:45:11,240
Do you want a drink?
I'm going to have...
932
00:45:11,242 --> 00:45:12,275
what is wrong with you?
933
00:45:12,277 --> 00:45:13,743
What the fuck!
934
00:45:13,745 --> 00:45:15,144
Oh, my God.
Martha, would be so pissed.
935
00:45:15,146 --> 00:45:17,080
Do you want to go back
to rehab?
936
00:45:17,082 --> 00:45:20,183
I'm a sex addict,
not an alcoholic, asshole.
937
00:45:20,185 --> 00:45:22,385
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
938
00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:25,088
I don't... that's a thing?
939
00:45:25,090 --> 00:45:27,323
I thought that was made up
by Tiger Woods or something.
940
00:45:27,325 --> 00:45:29,392
Don't be a dumb-ass.
941
00:45:29,394 --> 00:45:31,127
Okay. Well...
942
00:45:31,129 --> 00:45:33,196
wait, just wait.
943
00:45:33,198 --> 00:45:36,833
The things is that's I'm really
trying to manage my addiction,
944
00:45:36,835 --> 00:45:38,367
just like you are,
945
00:45:38,369 --> 00:45:41,404
so will you just touch my boob
just for one minute, please?
946
00:45:41,406 --> 00:45:43,306
I don't...
I just feel like maybe...
947
00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:52,882
what the fuck?
948
00:45:52,884 --> 00:45:54,484
We were just
about to watch a movie.
949
00:46:02,326 --> 00:46:04,994
I can't believe you brought
him in here, Shannon.
950
00:46:04,996 --> 00:46:06,996
He didn't see anything.
951
00:46:06,998 --> 00:46:09,365
Yeah, he's a good guy.
He deserves better.
952
00:46:09,367 --> 00:46:10,500
No offense.
953
00:46:10,502 --> 00:46:12,201
Go to sleep.
954
00:46:12,203 --> 00:46:13,402
I can't sleep.
955
00:46:16,073 --> 00:46:17,874
Kelly invited me to a bar
Mitzvah tomorrow night
956
00:46:17,876 --> 00:46:21,277
and it's freaking me out.
957
00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:23,513
I'm glad you're thinking
about chicks instead
958
00:46:23,515 --> 00:46:25,848
of our shit ass predicament.
959
00:46:25,850 --> 00:46:28,284
The bar Mitzvah is in this
hotel tomorrow night.
960
00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:30,219
So?
961
00:46:30,221 --> 00:46:32,355
So kids make a lot of money
at these things, Shannon.
962
00:46:35,359 --> 00:46:36,859
That's genius.
963
00:46:36,861 --> 00:46:38,027
Yeah, it is.
964
00:46:38,029 --> 00:46:39,495
You want
to Jack the bar Mitzvah?
965
00:46:42,032 --> 00:46:43,533
What do we do?
966
00:46:43,535 --> 00:46:45,301
Okay, look.
967
00:46:45,303 --> 00:46:49,472
I'll just go with Kelly
and then you can crash it.
968
00:46:49,474 --> 00:46:52,375
No. I can't go alone.
969
00:46:52,377 --> 00:46:54,010
I'll bring Eric.
970
00:46:54,012 --> 00:46:55,945
Okay. You can't
tell him anything.
971
00:46:55,947 --> 00:46:57,513
I'll get him to help us.
I won't tell him anything.
972
00:46:57,515 --> 00:47:00,082
I'll just make something up.
973
00:47:00,084 --> 00:47:02,852
I know he'll do it.
He's so into me.
974
00:47:06,423 --> 00:47:07,523
Just go to bed.
975
00:47:09,893 --> 00:47:13,029
Jerry, I have someguests locked out of room 402
976
00:47:13,031 --> 00:47:15,064
and I'm getting no response
from housekeeping.
977
00:47:27,477 --> 00:47:31,247
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
978
00:47:31,249 --> 00:47:32,915
Shan, wake up. Shan.
979
00:47:32,917 --> 00:47:35,518
- Please, stop it.
- Shan. Shan, it's Jerry.
980
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:38,621
- What is it?
- Oh God, this really sucks.
981
00:47:38,623 --> 00:47:43,226
- Shit.
- Okay, okay.
982
00:47:43,228 --> 00:47:45,328
Okay, listen.
983
00:47:45,330 --> 00:47:47,230
I'll deal with Jerry.
984
00:47:47,232 --> 00:47:48,632
You go home
and get the stuff, okay?
985
00:47:48,633 --> 00:47:50,299
Okay.
986
00:47:50,301 --> 00:47:51,400
You got to get the dresses
for the bar Mitzvah.
987
00:47:51,402 --> 00:47:53,202
What about the dead guy?
988
00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:55,238
Just make sure you keep
fresh ice on him, okay?
989
00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:56,572
Okay.
990
00:47:56,574 --> 00:47:58,074
Okay. Come on.
991
00:47:58,076 --> 00:48:00,309
- Wake up.
- Don't do that.
992
00:48:00,311 --> 00:48:01,978
It's a big day, shan.
993
00:48:01,980 --> 00:48:04,046
I know. I'm so nervous.
994
00:48:15,292 --> 00:48:16,659
Hello?
995
00:48:16,661 --> 00:48:18,060
It's me. What are you doing?
996
00:48:18,062 --> 00:48:20,029
- I'm working.
- Okay.
997
00:48:20,031 --> 00:48:21,163
Well, Martha's not here
and home alone
998
00:48:21,165 --> 00:48:23,199
so can you come
over and fuck me?
999
00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:26,602
So, now that like I've told
totally fucked up my marriage,
1000
00:48:26,604 --> 00:48:28,070
now you want back in?
1001
00:48:28,072 --> 00:48:30,139
No, no, no, no. I just...
no. No. I...
1002
00:48:30,141 --> 00:48:32,174
or are you just fucking
someone else now?
1003
00:48:32,176 --> 00:48:34,143
No, no baby.
That's not it at all.
1004
00:48:34,145 --> 00:48:36,345
I'm just... I'm alone now
and this is a perfect time.
1005
00:48:36,347 --> 00:48:38,314
Because I know that you
always do this.
1006
00:48:38,316 --> 00:48:40,116
Do what?
1007
00:48:40,118 --> 00:48:41,984
Come groveling back as soon
as you're seeing somebody new.
1008
00:48:41,986 --> 00:48:44,086
Baby, listen to me. Listen right now.
I don't want...
1009
00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:47,356
you need to start facing
your fears and your feelings.
1010
00:48:47,358 --> 00:48:48,991
You're just going
to keep hurting yourself
1011
00:48:48,993 --> 00:48:50,359
and everybody around you.
1012
00:48:50,361 --> 00:48:52,295
Well, that's the long way
to say no.
1013
00:48:52,297 --> 00:48:53,462
Shan, I have to go.
1014
00:48:56,166 --> 00:48:58,034
- Ow!
- It's going to look good.
1015
00:48:58,036 --> 00:48:59,936
I'm going to get it
nice and straight.
1016
00:48:59,938 --> 00:49:01,137
Ow!
1017
00:49:01,139 --> 00:49:02,138
Stop yelling.
1018
00:49:02,140 --> 00:49:03,539
It doesn't hurt.
1019
00:49:03,541 --> 00:49:05,508
Sorry, I guess
I'm just nervous.
1020
00:49:05,510 --> 00:49:07,076
About the bar Mitzvah?
1021
00:49:07,078 --> 00:49:08,477
Eric's going to help us.
1022
00:49:13,016 --> 00:49:14,150
Think you've ever been in love?
1023
00:49:14,152 --> 00:49:16,585
I'm not good with emotions.
1024
00:49:16,587 --> 00:49:18,654
As soon as I start
to get close to someone,
1025
00:49:18,656 --> 00:49:20,489
I just... I feel crowded
1026
00:49:20,491 --> 00:49:22,258
and I'm not attracted
to them anymore.
1027
00:49:22,260 --> 00:49:23,993
How many guys you think
you've been with?
1028
00:49:26,496 --> 00:49:29,165
- I don't know.
- Like a ball park.
1029
00:49:29,167 --> 00:49:30,533
Like a hundred?
1030
00:49:30,535 --> 00:49:32,501
100 dicks?
1031
00:49:32,503 --> 00:49:36,005
Stupid thing is most of the
time I don't even like the sex.
1032
00:49:36,007 --> 00:49:37,406
Then why do you do it?
1033
00:49:37,408 --> 00:49:39,241
I don't know.
Like the pain of doing it
1034
00:49:39,243 --> 00:49:43,679
is not as bad as the
emptiness of not doing it.
1035
00:49:43,681 --> 00:49:45,047
Does that make sense?
1036
00:49:48,151 --> 00:49:49,251
Martha.
1037
00:49:49,253 --> 00:49:52,021
Yeah.
1038
00:49:52,023 --> 00:49:54,690
I was a 100% wrong
about your hair.
1039
00:49:54,692 --> 00:49:57,193
- What's the problem?
- It's not good.
1040
00:49:59,529 --> 00:50:00,696
Do cousin it.
1041
00:50:00,698 --> 00:50:02,398
No, shan,
I'm not going to do it.
1042
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:04,600
- Yes, you are.
- Shannon, I'm not doing it.
1043
00:50:04,602 --> 00:50:10,072
Do I look pretty for
the bar Mitzvah party?
1044
00:50:22,652 --> 00:50:26,322
Hey, if tonight doesn't
go too late maybe you could
1045
00:50:26,324 --> 00:50:28,124
come over and, I don't know,
1046
00:50:28,126 --> 00:50:30,126
watch "naked and afraid"
with me or...
1047
00:50:30,128 --> 00:50:31,527
yeah, maybe.
We'll see how it goes.
1048
00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:34,330
Hey, ladies, it's dopey king.
1049
00:50:34,332 --> 00:50:35,598
Yeah, of course.
1050
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,300
Got you something, sir.
1051
00:50:38,302 --> 00:50:40,102
Oh, thanks. That's sweet.
1052
00:50:40,104 --> 00:50:42,104
I'll put it in my money box
over there.
1053
00:50:42,106 --> 00:50:43,272
It's cash only.
1054
00:50:43,274 --> 00:50:45,141
Yeah, we heard.
1055
00:50:45,143 --> 00:50:47,743
Yeah. It's actually coupons
for free privates.
1056
00:50:47,745 --> 00:50:49,745
Privates? You hitting
on me boo?
1057
00:50:49,747 --> 00:50:51,080
I'm a man now,
so it's copasetic.
1058
00:50:51,082 --> 00:50:53,082
Don't worry about it.
1059
00:50:53,084 --> 00:50:54,316
All right, all right. Take it
easy, not in front of my date.
1060
00:50:54,318 --> 00:50:55,384
Don't talk to Kelly like that.
1061
00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:57,086
It's really rude, Noah.
1062
00:50:57,088 --> 00:50:59,288
Do you think you guys can make
out on my next music video?
1063
00:50:59,290 --> 00:51:02,458
Google Gloria steinem
and then ask us.
1064
00:51:02,460 --> 00:51:04,326
So how long will
these things last?
1065
00:51:04,328 --> 00:51:06,796
About as long as
a wedding reception, you know.
1066
00:51:06,798 --> 00:51:08,697
- Really?
- Yeah.
1067
00:51:08,699 --> 00:51:10,232
I don't really know
how long that is
1068
00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:11,634
because I've never been
to a wedding.
1069
00:51:11,636 --> 00:51:13,836
Really?
1070
00:51:13,838 --> 00:51:16,772
I went to one, but it doesn't
really count because we eloped.
1071
00:51:16,774 --> 00:51:18,240
You're married?
1072
00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:21,077
Yeah. What?
1073
00:51:21,079 --> 00:51:22,244
I can be married.
1074
00:51:22,246 --> 00:51:24,080
I totally got married.
1075
00:51:24,082 --> 00:51:27,083
And nine days later I cheated
on him and we got divorced.
1076
00:51:27,085 --> 00:51:31,520
Super romantic like I said,
like a fairytale actually.
1077
00:51:31,522 --> 00:51:33,589
I'd read it cover to cover.
1078
00:51:33,591 --> 00:51:35,825
I'm thinking of pitching it
as a children's book.
1079
00:51:35,827 --> 00:51:37,560
- Oh, you should.
- Or y.A.
1080
00:51:37,562 --> 00:51:38,561
That's probably
the better choice.
1081
00:51:38,563 --> 00:51:40,596
Yeah.
1082
00:51:48,338 --> 00:51:50,706
Y'all ready for this?
1083
00:51:50,708 --> 00:51:52,141
I'm 13 now.
1084
00:51:52,143 --> 00:51:55,244
Whoo!
1085
00:51:55,246 --> 00:51:56,779
I want to thank my dad,
1086
00:51:56,781 --> 00:51:59,482
I want to thank my mom,
and I want to thank my Bubby.
1087
00:51:59,484 --> 00:52:01,350
Okay, let's do this.
1088
00:52:01,352 --> 00:52:03,285
Come on boys. Cash money tour.
1089
00:52:03,287 --> 00:52:04,620
That's it, Noah.
1090
00:52:04,622 --> 00:52:06,255
Welcome to my Mitzvah!
1091
00:52:46,264 --> 00:52:47,429
That is enough.
1092
00:52:47,431 --> 00:52:48,831
That is enough. Hey.
1093
00:52:48,833 --> 00:52:51,333
- Quite enough!
- I was in the dance, Noah!
1094
00:52:51,335 --> 00:52:52,868
Thank you for coming.
1095
00:52:52,870 --> 00:52:55,437
Why doesn't everyone
get on the dance floor?
1096
00:52:55,439 --> 00:52:57,506
Let's dance
to some appropriate music.
1097
00:52:57,508 --> 00:52:59,308
You're shaming yourself.
1098
00:52:59,310 --> 00:53:01,677
I thought that was going
to be Bruno Mars. Get over here.
1099
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:04,547
You know what,
now we gotta dance.
1100
00:53:04,549 --> 00:53:06,248
I don't dance.
1101
00:53:06,250 --> 00:53:07,449
I think we do.
It's a part of the deal.
1102
00:53:07,451 --> 00:53:08,851
- I don't dance.
- Come on.
1103
00:53:08,853 --> 00:53:10,953
I've never, never...
1104
00:53:15,626 --> 00:53:17,660
all right.
Bring it in. Bring it in.
1105
00:53:26,836 --> 00:53:29,672
You have a really cute ass.
1106
00:53:29,674 --> 00:53:31,373
It's distracting.
1107
00:53:31,375 --> 00:53:35,611
Stop. It's a bar Mitzvah.
There's kids around.
1108
00:53:35,613 --> 00:53:38,547
I'm serious. It's distracting.
1109
00:53:38,549 --> 00:53:39,782
My ass?
1110
00:53:39,784 --> 00:53:42,618
- Yes.
- Oh, sure.
1111
00:53:42,620 --> 00:53:44,987
It's 'cause you work
me out so good.
1112
00:54:00,303 --> 00:54:03,539
Hey, maybe we should
take a breather.
1113
00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:05,708
- Okay.
- Get a drink or something?
1114
00:54:09,479 --> 00:54:11,647
I'm going to use the ladies room.
Don't go anywhere.
1115
00:54:11,649 --> 00:54:12,681
Uh-uh.
1116
00:54:13,817 --> 00:54:15,651
I, like, really like you.
1117
00:54:18,355 --> 00:54:20,022
And since you won't tell me
1118
00:54:20,024 --> 00:54:21,390
why you're being blackmailed
I think it's only fair
1119
00:54:21,392 --> 00:54:23,292
I get to do this.
1120
00:54:35,405 --> 00:54:38,007
Excuse me. It's time to
strap on the feedbags.
1121
00:54:38,009 --> 00:54:39,975
Dinner will be
in about five minutes
1122
00:54:39,977 --> 00:54:43,545
if our very expensive catering
company would just do their job.
1123
00:54:44,547 --> 00:54:46,482
Good luck.
1124
00:54:50,553 --> 00:54:52,988
Okay, alright. Ready?
1125
00:54:52,990 --> 00:54:54,857
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
1126
00:54:54,859 --> 00:54:56,358
So?
1127
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:59,795
So, you guys look
pretty cute together.
1128
00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:01,930
Yesterday, you were pissed
because I was alone with him
1129
00:55:01,932 --> 00:55:03,032
and now you want
us to get married.
1130
00:55:03,034 --> 00:55:04,366
No, shan, this is different.
1131
00:55:04,368 --> 00:55:07,336
He really likes you.
I can tell.
1132
00:55:07,338 --> 00:55:10,572
I know. I think I should just
fuck him and get it over with.
1133
00:55:10,574 --> 00:55:12,541
Will you not say that kind
of shit all the time?
1134
00:55:15,779 --> 00:55:17,680
Okay. Eric's in position.
1135
00:55:22,552 --> 00:55:24,453
Okay, got it.
1136
00:55:38,768 --> 00:55:39,902
Are you okay there?
1137
00:55:39,904 --> 00:55:40,969
Ahh!
1138
00:55:40,971 --> 00:55:42,571
A woman is choking here!
1139
00:55:42,573 --> 00:55:44,740
- Oh my God!
- Someone help her, please!
1140
00:55:44,742 --> 00:55:46,408
Is anyone here a doctor?
1141
00:55:46,410 --> 00:55:47,443
I'm a doctor!
1142
00:55:47,445 --> 00:55:48,677
I got it.
1143
00:55:50,347 --> 00:55:51,814
Everybody back, Noah.
1144
00:55:51,816 --> 00:55:53,549
Son, tell me about
1145
00:55:53,551 --> 00:55:56,352
no, it's fucking disgusting.
1146
00:55:56,354 --> 00:55:57,686
Just cough it up, cough it up.
1147
00:55:57,688 --> 00:55:59,455
Okay.
1148
00:55:59,457 --> 00:56:01,090
- I got it.
- Just cough it up. Cough it up.
1149
00:56:01,092 --> 00:56:02,124
Do you see anything?
1150
00:56:02,126 --> 00:56:04,460
- No.
- Heave, ho.
1151
00:56:04,462 --> 00:56:07,096
Eww, these are new shoes.
1152
00:56:07,098 --> 00:56:08,697
Are you all right?
Is it all out?
1153
00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:12,134
- Uh-huh.
- Okay, oh...
1154
00:56:12,136 --> 00:56:14,069
- Thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
1155
00:56:14,071 --> 00:56:15,437
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
1156
00:56:15,439 --> 00:56:17,072
- Go.
- All right, all right.
1157
00:56:17,074 --> 00:56:19,575
I think it's a seizure.
1158
00:56:19,577 --> 00:56:20,809
I think it's a seizure.
1159
00:56:20,811 --> 00:56:22,511
Everyone get back, get back.
1160
00:56:22,513 --> 00:56:23,979
Nobody panic, nobody panic.
1161
00:56:23,981 --> 00:56:25,147
She's going to be fine.
Watch her arms.
1162
00:56:25,149 --> 00:56:26,715
She's slapping...
1163
00:56:26,717 --> 00:56:27,716
give her some air!
Just step back!
1164
00:56:27,718 --> 00:56:30,052
Come on, dad!
1165
00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:31,720
Noah, direct the traffic.
1166
00:56:31,722 --> 00:56:33,622
Do something, Noah! Just...
1167
00:56:33,624 --> 00:56:34,823
calm down.
1168
00:56:34,825 --> 00:56:37,559
It will stop.
Just let her be calm.
1169
00:56:37,561 --> 00:56:38,594
Whoa, whoa. No, just calm down.
1170
00:56:38,596 --> 00:56:40,129
Don't hurt yourself.
1171
00:56:40,131 --> 00:56:41,730
Let her be calm.
1172
00:56:41,732 --> 00:56:45,033
Whoa! Whoa! Okay, okay, okay.
Just vomit.
1173
00:56:45,035 --> 00:56:46,835
Okay, everybody back. Calm down.
1174
00:56:50,874 --> 00:56:52,408
Oh, peanut.
1175
00:56:52,410 --> 00:56:53,976
That is really
a bad thing these days.
1176
00:56:53,978 --> 00:56:55,010
There's peanuts in everything.
1177
00:56:55,012 --> 00:56:56,612
All right.
1178
00:56:56,614 --> 00:56:58,480
Give it up for this guy.
This guy is a hero.
1179
00:56:58,482 --> 00:57:00,015
Hero! Hero!
1180
00:57:06,022 --> 00:57:08,857
- Thank you.
- Hero! Hero!
1181
00:57:08,859 --> 00:57:10,159
- That was crazy.
- Yeah, it was pretty crazy.
1182
00:57:10,161 --> 00:57:12,027
Are you okay?
1183
00:57:12,029 --> 00:57:14,663
Yeah, I think I am. It was
just a seizure, I guess.
1184
00:57:14,665 --> 00:57:18,534
Okay. I think we should
just go back to my place
1185
00:57:18,536 --> 00:57:19,768
so I can keep an eye on you.
1186
00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:20,869
How about that?
1187
00:57:20,871 --> 00:57:22,638
Oh gosh. I don't know, Kelly.
1188
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:25,140
I think I should probably
just go home alone
1189
00:57:25,142 --> 00:57:27,976
'cause, you know, I nearly
just died kind of so.
1190
00:57:27,978 --> 00:57:29,745
Okay. What is it?
1191
00:57:29,747 --> 00:57:33,482
Do you not like hanging
out with me or something?
1192
00:57:33,484 --> 00:57:37,619
No, it's not that.
It's, like, Shannon...
1193
00:57:37,621 --> 00:57:40,589
my sister is... at my house
so I have to be there.
1194
00:57:40,591 --> 00:57:42,724
Okay. You have to stop
using your adult sister
1195
00:57:42,726 --> 00:57:44,059
as an excuse
for blowing me off.
1196
00:57:44,061 --> 00:57:45,794
I'm not blowing you off.
1197
00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:46,929
I don't want you think
I'm blowing you off.
1198
00:57:46,931 --> 00:57:48,197
Well, I'm available,
1199
00:57:48,199 --> 00:57:49,932
like, totally available.
1200
00:57:49,934 --> 00:57:53,936
And I'm gay and I'm very
attracted to you.
1201
00:57:53,938 --> 00:57:55,237
I don't know
if you noticed that.
1202
00:57:55,239 --> 00:57:58,106
I like you a lot.
1203
00:57:58,108 --> 00:58:01,543
And I'm cool as shit, so I
don't see what the problem is.
1204
00:58:01,545 --> 00:58:03,745
Am I like, what? Am I
coming on too strong?
1205
00:58:03,747 --> 00:58:06,248
Am I supposed to play games
and pretend
1206
00:58:06,250 --> 00:58:07,950
like I don't like you
and be mean to you?
1207
00:58:07,952 --> 00:58:09,852
Is that what Alicia does?
1208
00:58:09,854 --> 00:58:12,788
Should I be like Alicia and flirt
with other guys in the gym
1209
00:58:12,790 --> 00:58:14,022
to, like,
make you attracted to me?
1210
00:58:14,024 --> 00:58:15,023
I'm not a game player okay.
1211
00:58:15,025 --> 00:58:16,058
I'm over that shit.
1212
00:58:16,060 --> 00:58:17,559
I'm a grown ass woman
1213
00:58:17,561 --> 00:58:19,795
and I fucking like you
so let's do this.
1214
00:58:19,797 --> 00:58:21,730
What's the problem?
1215
00:58:21,732 --> 00:58:24,266
I don't know, Kelly.
1216
00:58:24,268 --> 00:58:26,134
I don't think it's a good idea.
1217
00:58:26,136 --> 00:58:28,203
Wait, wait, Kelly!
1218
00:58:28,205 --> 00:58:29,771
Hey, and you know what,
1219
00:58:29,773 --> 00:58:31,173
you should signed up
for spinning
1220
00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:33,095
because my class
has a no asshole policy now, so.
1221
00:58:49,726 --> 00:58:51,026
What are you looking at?
1222
00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:52,928
Nothing, I'm sorry.
1223
00:58:52,930 --> 00:58:54,897
I don't know anyone was here
so I'm just going to go
1224
00:58:54,899 --> 00:58:56,698
and you can continue
you're blubbering.
1225
00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:58,834
- Just pretend I am not here.
- You're so insensitive.
1226
00:58:58,836 --> 00:59:00,202
Are you even a woman?
1227
00:59:00,204 --> 00:59:03,906
Hey, I'm sorry, okay?
1228
00:59:03,908 --> 00:59:05,207
No, you're not.
1229
00:59:05,209 --> 00:59:07,109
Okay fine. I'm not!
1230
00:59:07,111 --> 00:59:10,045
I saw an "Oprah" on this.
You're a sociopath.
1231
00:59:10,047 --> 00:59:12,581
Hey wait... now listen I am
not sociopath, okay?
1232
00:59:12,583 --> 00:59:13,982
I feel stuff.
1233
00:59:13,984 --> 00:59:15,851
I empathize
and I sympathize which means
1234
00:59:15,853 --> 00:59:17,553
that I'm not a sociopath!
1235
00:59:17,555 --> 00:59:19,021
Okay, well, if that's true
1236
00:59:19,023 --> 00:59:20,656
then why don't
you ask me why I'm crying?
1237
00:59:26,162 --> 00:59:28,330
All right, I can do it.
1238
00:59:28,332 --> 00:59:30,232
What's wrong?
1239
00:59:30,234 --> 00:59:32,968
Okay, well when I confronted
Scott about you...
1240
00:59:32,970 --> 00:59:34,102
who's Scott?
1241
00:59:34,104 --> 00:59:35,804
My husband,
the one that you blew.
1242
00:59:35,806 --> 00:59:38,273
Oh, yes, okay. And Scott
you talked to him about...
1243
00:59:38,275 --> 00:59:39,808
Yeah, he didn't deny it.
1244
00:59:39,810 --> 00:59:41,176
He admitted it was true.
1245
00:59:41,178 --> 00:59:42,311
Okay.
1246
00:59:42,313 --> 00:59:44,046
And then I asked him
if it was good.
1247
00:59:44,048 --> 00:59:46,782
And I could tell that he
didn't want to say anything
1248
00:59:46,784 --> 00:59:48,884
but I forced it out of him
1249
00:59:48,886 --> 00:59:54,256
and he said that it was the
best blowjob of his life.
1250
00:59:54,258 --> 00:59:56,091
And now we just
can't stop fighting
1251
00:59:56,093 --> 00:59:57,693
and I can't have sex with him
1252
00:59:57,695 --> 00:59:59,194
and I just don't know
what I'm going to do
1253
00:59:59,196 --> 01:00:03,966
because I just... I can
never... I can never do that!
1254
01:00:03,968 --> 01:00:05,934
Yeah, okay, you can
do it, you can do it.
1255
01:00:05,936 --> 01:00:07,736
You know what,
I know how to fix this.
1256
01:00:10,039 --> 01:00:12,140
We'll use this.
1257
01:00:12,142 --> 01:00:13,942
I'm going to teach how to give
the best blowjob of your life.
1258
01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:16,678
Okay, but hold on,
can we use this?
1259
01:00:20,116 --> 01:00:22,084
Doesn't surprise me
Phil took the cash.
1260
01:00:22,086 --> 01:00:24,019
He was in buchenwald.
1261
01:00:24,021 --> 01:00:25,687
Because you can't get freaky
when there's a holocaust.
1262
01:00:25,689 --> 01:00:26,955
It was a good run!
1263
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:29,057
"Sucky, sucky my big fat cock!"
1264
01:00:29,059 --> 01:00:30,292
Sorry, honey.
1265
01:00:30,294 --> 01:00:32,861
So, what do you normally do?
1266
01:00:32,863 --> 01:00:37,332
I just close my eyes and then...
1267
01:00:37,334 --> 01:00:39,001
looks like you're eating
a corn cob.
1268
01:00:39,003 --> 01:00:40,268
That's not going
to feel good to anyone.
1269
01:00:40,270 --> 01:00:42,204
- Okay.
- Okay.
1270
01:00:42,206 --> 01:00:44,006
All right so what kind of porn
do you guys watch together?
1271
01:00:44,008 --> 01:00:45,874
No porn, none.
1272
01:00:45,876 --> 01:00:47,976
Watch a porn once
in a while by yourself
1273
01:00:47,978 --> 01:00:49,745
and watch how the chicks do it.
1274
01:00:49,747 --> 01:00:51,747
Aren't most
of those women slaves?
1275
01:00:51,749 --> 01:00:53,415
No, they're fine.
1276
01:00:53,417 --> 01:00:55,651
Oh, I thought I saw a "dateline"
about that they were slaves.
1277
01:00:55,653 --> 01:00:56,952
No.
1278
01:00:56,954 --> 01:00:59,287
No, they put them in a box
and ship them over...
1279
01:00:59,289 --> 01:01:00,822
no, that's... no those
are the manicurists.
1280
01:01:00,824 --> 01:01:02,090
Okay.
1281
01:01:02,092 --> 01:01:03,258
No, those aren't
the porn stars.
1282
01:01:03,260 --> 01:01:04,660
- They're not slaves.
- Okay.
1283
01:01:04,662 --> 01:01:06,194
- Okay, so what you want to do...
- Yeah.
1284
01:01:06,196 --> 01:01:07,963
Is you want to pretend,
1285
01:01:07,965 --> 01:01:12,000
like, what's your favorite
food in the world?
1286
01:01:12,002 --> 01:01:15,270
Yoplait yogurt,
cheese cake flavor.
1287
01:01:15,272 --> 01:01:18,273
Okay. So I want you to
pretend like this is filled
1288
01:01:18,275 --> 01:01:20,709
with cheese cake flavored
yoplait yogurt.
1289
01:01:20,711 --> 01:01:21,910
Okay.
1290
01:01:21,912 --> 01:01:22,944
And if you suck it
hard enough...
1291
01:01:22,946 --> 01:01:24,179
yeah.
1292
01:01:24,181 --> 01:01:25,213
You're going to get it all out.
1293
01:01:25,215 --> 01:01:27,149
- Okay!
- Okay?
1294
01:01:27,151 --> 01:01:28,784
So now in order to get out the
yogurt you have to squeeze it.
1295
01:01:28,786 --> 01:01:30,118
Okay.
1296
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:31,420
And you want to put
your mouth on the tip.
1297
01:01:31,422 --> 01:01:33,422
Okay.
1298
01:01:33,424 --> 01:01:34,923
Now you're going to bring your
hands up to meet your mouth.
1299
01:01:34,925 --> 01:01:36,191
- As your mouth goes down...
- Okay.
1300
01:01:36,193 --> 01:01:38,260
Your hand goes up.
1301
01:01:38,262 --> 01:01:39,394
And it's like that and
it's... so they're going to...
1302
01:01:39,396 --> 01:01:40,762
- mouth beneath the hand.
- Yes!
1303
01:01:40,764 --> 01:01:41,763
- Mouth beneath the hand.
- Yes!
1304
01:01:41,765 --> 01:01:43,165
Mouth beneath the hand.
1305
01:01:43,167 --> 01:01:45,100
- Yeah! You're going to get...
- Mouth...
1306
01:01:45,102 --> 01:01:46,835
now right before you're going
to get your hand up to the top,
1307
01:01:46,837 --> 01:01:48,103
hold it really tight,
spit in your palm,
1308
01:01:48,105 --> 01:01:50,706
rub it around the top,
point it away,
1309
01:01:50,708 --> 01:01:51,907
shoots out into
the stars, okay?
1310
01:01:51,909 --> 01:01:53,141
- Okay.
- All right.
1311
01:01:53,143 --> 01:01:54,342
You got this.
Now go, go, go, go!
1312
01:01:54,344 --> 01:01:55,811
Got some technique!
1313
01:01:55,813 --> 01:01:56,978
- Yeah, that's it.
- Thank you!
1314
01:01:56,980 --> 01:01:58,480
Okay.
1315
01:02:05,788 --> 01:02:08,223
What do you mean
it's only 12,000?
1316
01:02:08,225 --> 01:02:10,225
Come on, come on.
It's a lot of money,
1317
01:02:10,227 --> 01:02:11,993
it's like...
that's like six digits.
1318
01:02:11,995 --> 01:02:14,262
I said I wanted 25,000.
1319
01:02:14,264 --> 01:02:17,399
Well you can get a house in
Detroit for, like, $800.
1320
01:02:17,401 --> 01:02:19,134
I didn't want a house!
1321
01:02:19,136 --> 01:02:20,368
I wanted a building.
1322
01:02:20,370 --> 01:02:22,304
Come on, Ruby, please?
1323
01:02:22,306 --> 01:02:23,472
But it's cash.
1324
01:02:23,474 --> 01:02:25,407
I mean it's all right here.
1325
01:02:25,409 --> 01:02:28,009
It's a good start, get
everything rolling, you know?
1326
01:02:28,011 --> 01:02:30,746
It's a great start.
1327
01:02:30,748 --> 01:02:32,447
I'll sell the thunderbird.
1328
01:02:32,449 --> 01:02:35,217
- You'll sell the thunderbird?
- I promise! I don't need it.
1329
01:02:35,219 --> 01:02:37,052
Super cool.
1330
01:02:37,054 --> 01:02:39,287
Okay.
1331
01:02:39,289 --> 01:02:41,189
We'll turn the oven on.
1332
01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:49,197
It was really sweet
of you to come.
1333
01:02:49,199 --> 01:02:50,866
Of course!
1334
01:02:50,868 --> 01:02:52,501
You could've just told me
1335
01:02:52,503 --> 01:02:55,771
you're being blackmailed
for killing some guy's dog.
1336
01:02:55,773 --> 01:02:59,941
I feel bad about it.
I still do.
1337
01:02:59,943 --> 01:03:02,110
This is my last dog!
1338
01:03:02,112 --> 01:03:05,480
Suck my dick, Fresno!
1339
01:03:05,482 --> 01:03:07,849
What's up with that chick?
1340
01:03:07,851 --> 01:03:11,286
Oh, she's moving to Detroit.
1341
01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:14,356
Okay. Um...
1342
01:03:14,358 --> 01:03:20,529
Let's all bow our heads and
have a moment of silence.
1343
01:03:22,498 --> 01:03:27,035
Boris, oh precious Boris.
1344
01:03:29,005 --> 01:03:34,009
He was a champion
but he was also a dirty dog.
1345
01:03:36,546 --> 01:03:42,350
Oh, God, please watch over him
and take him to a better place.
1346
01:03:42,352 --> 01:03:45,020
Everyone deserves their dignity.
1347
01:03:45,022 --> 01:03:48,957
We've all done things
we're not proud of.
1348
01:03:48,959 --> 01:03:50,826
The last time
I was at a cemetery
1349
01:03:50,828 --> 01:03:53,295
was for my father's funeral.
1350
01:03:53,297 --> 01:03:55,297
It was not an easy time
for any of us
1351
01:03:55,299 --> 01:03:58,400
but especially not for my sister
Shannon because she didn't show.
1352
01:03:58,402 --> 01:04:00,135
I know she wanted to be there
1353
01:04:00,137 --> 01:04:03,505
but she couldn't because
she didn't feel good.
1354
01:04:03,507 --> 01:04:05,574
I don't blame her.
1355
01:04:05,576 --> 01:04:08,310
It's just...
sometimes it's hard for me
1356
01:04:08,312 --> 01:04:10,145
to do everything on my own,
1357
01:04:10,147 --> 01:04:12,414
so I guess
I'm just really grateful
1358
01:04:12,416 --> 01:04:14,316
that we made it
through this time together.
1359
01:04:16,085 --> 01:04:18,019
Yeah.
1360
01:04:42,044 --> 01:04:43,211
Hi, Martha.
1361
01:04:56,459 --> 01:05:00,061
Martha! Martha!
1362
01:05:03,232 --> 01:05:04,966
We slept together before
1363
01:05:04,968 --> 01:05:06,968
so there's like
a grandfather clause situation,
1364
01:05:09,672 --> 01:05:11,506
they still build these.
Isn't that crazy?
1365
01:05:11,508 --> 01:05:14,042
Little sheds?
1366
01:05:14,044 --> 01:05:17,412
Martha! Martha, stop running!
1367
01:05:17,414 --> 01:05:19,180
Martha, come on!
1368
01:05:19,182 --> 01:05:20,348
Wait, I'm sorry!
1369
01:05:20,350 --> 01:05:22,150
Sorry, you're not sorry, shan!
1370
01:05:22,152 --> 01:05:23,585
It's not my fault!
1371
01:05:23,587 --> 01:05:25,420
It's my disease!
I can't help it!
1372
01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:27,923
Of course, right. You never
mean to do anything.
1373
01:05:27,925 --> 01:05:30,225
You know you're just like dad.
1374
01:05:30,227 --> 01:05:32,360
Just blame everyone else.
1375
01:05:32,362 --> 01:05:35,563
It's never you, right?
1376
01:05:35,565 --> 01:05:39,367
Well, I am so tired of trying
to help you.
1377
01:05:43,039 --> 01:05:44,306
Martha!
1378
01:05:44,308 --> 01:05:46,641
You can't leave me here!
1379
01:05:46,643 --> 01:05:48,176
Don't come back to my place!
1380
01:05:48,178 --> 01:05:50,078
I'm done!
1381
01:05:56,185 --> 01:05:58,620
It's hard letting go, isn't it?
1382
01:06:01,257 --> 01:06:03,224
If only pop tart
could've spoken up
1383
01:06:03,226 --> 01:06:06,261
and told me
what was bothering her.
1384
01:06:06,263 --> 01:06:10,732
But turtles can't let
you know what's going, can they?
1385
01:06:10,734 --> 01:06:12,634
Robots can't either.
1386
01:06:39,362 --> 01:06:41,463
Back so soon?
1387
01:06:41,465 --> 01:06:44,265
Staying for a while this time.
1388
01:06:44,267 --> 01:06:46,001
You hit the lotto?
1389
01:06:46,003 --> 01:06:48,737
This is left over from
bar Mitzvah money.
1390
01:06:48,739 --> 01:06:50,672
Good luck.
1391
01:06:50,674 --> 01:06:53,775
My mom died of cancer
then my dad died of alcohol,
1392
01:06:53,777 --> 01:06:55,677
and my little sister had
no one to help her.
1393
01:06:55,679 --> 01:06:59,748
And instead of helping her I
just blew off my dad's funeral.
1394
01:07:02,385 --> 01:07:06,521
And a few months ago I did
some really horrible shit
1395
01:07:06,523 --> 01:07:12,093
which is why I'm here, and
my sister bailed me out again.
1396
01:07:12,095 --> 01:07:14,329
And so did this... this guy
1397
01:07:14,331 --> 01:07:19,634
that I met who's really nice,
and I really liked him.
1398
01:07:19,636 --> 01:07:21,703
Instead of dealing
with my feelings
1399
01:07:21,705 --> 01:07:25,106
like a mature adult,
grown up person,
1400
01:07:25,108 --> 01:07:27,342
I fucked a random dude.
1401
01:07:30,713 --> 01:07:34,115
I just don't want
to let anyone down anymore.
1402
01:07:34,117 --> 01:07:36,384
I don't want
to let myself down anymore
1403
01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:38,119
and I want this part
of my life...
1404
01:07:38,121 --> 01:07:40,288
this whole chunk to be over.
1405
01:07:40,290 --> 01:07:42,424
And that's why I'm here
because I need help.
1406
01:07:46,295 --> 01:07:48,329
I'm just fucking tired
of fucking.
1407
01:07:51,300 --> 01:07:54,135
Fuck!
1408
01:07:54,137 --> 01:08:00,575
Sorry, it wasn't my turn,
I'm sorry.
1409
01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:03,745
You know
who would've loved that?
1410
01:08:03,747 --> 01:08:06,381
Oprah.
1411
01:10:20,583 --> 01:10:22,250
I have paychecks!
1412
01:10:22,252 --> 01:10:23,618
This one is for Martha.
1413
01:10:23,620 --> 01:10:25,253
That's you?
1414
01:10:25,255 --> 01:10:29,257
And this is for Shannon,
your big sister.
1415
01:10:29,259 --> 01:10:32,727
She's going to have
to pick hers up. She quit.
1416
01:10:32,729 --> 01:10:34,462
And we're not talking anymore.
1417
01:10:34,464 --> 01:10:36,631
Why not?
1418
01:10:36,633 --> 01:10:37,799
Let's see.
1419
01:10:37,801 --> 01:10:39,734
She's a liar, she's selfish,
1420
01:10:39,736 --> 01:10:42,003
she's ungrateful, and she
can't get her life together.
1421
01:10:42,005 --> 01:10:43,605
It's actually really sad.
1422
01:10:43,607 --> 01:10:44,706
My sister sucks.
1423
01:10:44,708 --> 01:10:46,541
Why does she suck?
1424
01:10:46,543 --> 01:10:49,477
Were you not listening, Jerry?
I just told you the whole thing.
1425
01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:51,579
She's a pain in the ass!
1426
01:10:51,581 --> 01:10:53,014
Why?
1427
01:10:53,016 --> 01:10:55,683
Because she just does
whatever the hell she wants,
1428
01:10:55,685 --> 01:11:00,488
and she doesn't care
who she hurts along the way.
1429
01:11:00,490 --> 01:11:04,392
I mean, I did everything
I could for her.
1430
01:11:04,394 --> 01:11:07,729
I got her this job,
let her stay at my place,
1431
01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:10,598
and it's like she just didn't
even want any of it.
1432
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:13,768
Well, if she didn't want help,
why did you help her?
1433
01:11:14,903 --> 01:11:16,471
I don't know.
1434
01:11:16,473 --> 01:11:18,573
Sounds like you need help.
1435
01:11:20,643 --> 01:11:24,379
Uh... I don't need any help.
1436
01:11:24,381 --> 01:11:28,416
You worry too much about
your sister and not yourself.
1437
01:11:28,418 --> 01:11:30,451
My life is pretty sweet.
1438
01:11:30,453 --> 01:11:31,986
It's not sweet.
1439
01:11:31,988 --> 01:11:36,291
You live all alone.
And you're a maid in Fresno.
1440
01:11:36,293 --> 01:11:37,825
You're a maid too, you know.
1441
01:11:37,827 --> 01:11:39,861
Yes, but I'm better
than a maid.
1442
01:11:39,863 --> 01:11:41,763
Executive maid!
1443
01:11:41,765 --> 01:11:43,998
And I have sexy girlfriend.
1444
01:11:49,071 --> 01:11:52,340
Yeah, can you just, like,
put them back right away.
1445
01:11:52,342 --> 01:11:54,542
'Cause they're always
getting tangled up.
1446
01:11:58,714 --> 01:12:00,648
Kelly, you don't have
to hide from me.
1447
01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:03,651
Hey, Alicia is working out
at Prestown Crossfit
1448
01:12:03,653 --> 01:12:05,987
so you should go sign up there.
1449
01:12:05,989 --> 01:12:08,623
I don't want to say "hi"
to Alicia
1450
01:12:08,625 --> 01:12:11,526
I want to say "hi" to you,
Kelly.
1451
01:12:11,528 --> 01:12:12,694
Hi.
1452
01:12:19,768 --> 01:12:23,604
I want to apologize to you,
okay?
1453
01:12:23,606 --> 01:12:26,541
I'm sorry.
1454
01:12:26,543 --> 01:12:29,010
I wasn't myself.
1455
01:12:29,012 --> 01:12:32,714
Yeah, just a lot of weird stuff
was going on in my life.
1456
01:12:32,716 --> 01:12:34,916
You say your sister
or your ex one more time
1457
01:12:34,918 --> 01:12:37,018
I will literally vomit,
right now.
1458
01:12:37,020 --> 01:12:39,020
Well, I won't.
1459
01:12:39,022 --> 01:12:42,023
Okay? Because neither of
them are in my life anymore.
1460
01:12:42,025 --> 01:12:43,891
I mean it's good!
1461
01:12:43,893 --> 01:12:46,361
Like for the first time
in my life
1462
01:12:46,363 --> 01:12:47,929
I'm doing stuff just
for myself.
1463
01:12:47,931 --> 01:12:50,865
Like, I got a pedicure
yesterday
1464
01:12:50,867 --> 01:12:55,436
and I took a bubble bath,
you know?
1465
01:12:55,438 --> 01:12:57,004
Wow, you took a bath.
1466
01:12:57,006 --> 01:12:58,740
Yeah.
1467
01:12:58,742 --> 01:13:03,678
And now I'm doing this other
thing I really wanted to do,
1468
01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:05,580
talking to a girl
who I think is pretty cool.
1469
01:13:08,150 --> 01:13:11,452
I really liked you.
1470
01:13:11,454 --> 01:13:12,653
I still like you.
1471
01:13:14,957 --> 01:13:17,158
Okay.
1472
01:13:17,160 --> 01:13:19,994
But if your sister
and your ex are,
1473
01:13:19,996 --> 01:13:22,563
like, totally out of the
picture for real then
1474
01:13:22,565 --> 01:13:24,632
what are you possibly going
to use as an excuse
1475
01:13:24,634 --> 01:13:26,834
not to go out with me tonight?
1476
01:13:26,836 --> 01:13:28,870
Tonight.
1477
01:13:28,872 --> 01:13:30,571
Nothing.
1478
01:13:30,573 --> 01:13:34,742
Newsflash... I'm available.
1479
01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:37,512
- Really?
- Big time.
1480
01:13:46,189 --> 01:13:48,689
Yo, yo, yo! Guru!
1481
01:13:48,691 --> 01:13:50,691
Do you remember me?
1482
01:13:50,693 --> 01:13:52,460
I think you have
the wrong person.
1483
01:13:52,462 --> 01:13:54,162
No, no. You don't remember me?
1484
01:13:54,164 --> 01:13:56,798
My parents had a house that
smelled like dirty diapers?
1485
01:13:56,800 --> 01:13:58,032
Does that ring a bell?
1486
01:13:58,034 --> 01:14:00,067
- No.
- You remember this pretty face?
1487
01:14:02,704 --> 01:14:04,172
Yeah, hi!
1488
01:14:04,174 --> 01:14:06,140
You got anymore awesome words
of wisdom for me?
1489
01:14:06,142 --> 01:14:07,608
Oh, I don't.
1490
01:14:07,610 --> 01:14:10,912
I'm kind of out of
the guru business.
1491
01:14:10,914 --> 01:14:12,046
What?
1492
01:14:12,048 --> 01:14:14,449
I'm working
at foster farms now.
1493
01:14:14,451 --> 01:14:18,219
Oh well that's good for foster
farms but bad for gurus.
1494
01:14:18,221 --> 01:14:20,521
You were so good at that!
1495
01:14:20,523 --> 01:14:22,190
I got to tell you
my whole life changed
1496
01:14:22,192 --> 01:14:23,658
because of the stuff
you told me.
1497
01:14:23,660 --> 01:14:25,059
Really, how?
1498
01:14:25,061 --> 01:14:26,627
I sold the van.
1499
01:14:26,629 --> 01:14:28,896
I'm pawned Boris' bronze medal.
1500
01:14:28,898 --> 01:14:31,199
I sold my parents' house
for a shitload of money.
1501
01:14:31,201 --> 01:14:32,633
I figured they'd be
better off rotting
1502
01:14:32,635 --> 01:14:34,001
in the nursing home, you know.
1503
01:14:34,003 --> 01:14:35,570
Got a real good price
on a nursing home,
1504
01:14:35,572 --> 01:14:37,605
one of the cheapest ones.
1505
01:14:37,607 --> 01:14:40,575
And that was really all because
of you, I have to be honest.
1506
01:14:40,577 --> 01:14:42,910
And I'm getting a chin implant.
1507
01:14:42,912 --> 01:14:45,112
I never said any of that stuff.
1508
01:14:45,114 --> 01:14:48,049
Listen, guru, I felt your
vibe and I ran with it.
1509
01:14:48,051 --> 01:14:49,984
If you ever see Boris
you tell him
1510
01:14:49,986 --> 01:14:52,119
we're better off
without each other, okay?
1511
01:14:52,121 --> 01:14:54,622
Siblings can really sink
each other, you know?
1512
01:14:54,624 --> 01:14:57,792
Tell him I said that, okay?
1513
01:14:57,794 --> 01:15:00,495
Take care of yourself! Namaste!
1514
01:16:33,822 --> 01:16:36,157
911, what's your emergency?
1515
01:16:36,159 --> 01:16:40,628
It's not really an emergency.
1516
01:16:40,630 --> 01:16:44,966
I killed a guy, so someone
should probably come and get me.
1517
01:16:44,968 --> 01:16:47,935
Please hold.
1518
01:16:47,937 --> 01:16:50,304
Now, I'll connect youto the Fresno police.
1519
01:16:50,306 --> 01:16:52,340
Please state yourpresent location,
1520
01:16:52,342 --> 01:16:55,276
paramedics havebeen dispatched.
1521
01:16:55,278 --> 01:16:58,045
No, you don't have
to send the paramedics.
1522
01:16:58,047 --> 01:17:00,681
It was a little while ago.
1523
01:17:00,683 --> 01:17:02,783
It was an accident,
1524
01:17:02,785 --> 01:17:06,787
I'm sure everyone says that, but
it, like really was an accident.
1525
01:17:06,789 --> 01:17:08,656
Well, do you think
that maybe someone could
1526
01:17:08,658 --> 01:17:10,825
just come here and get me
because I don't have a car?
1527
01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:14,829
That's a really far walk.
1528
01:17:21,703 --> 01:17:24,739
So anyway, shan, I'mglad you're getting my letters.
1529
01:17:24,741 --> 01:17:27,008
I miss you but I'm kind of gladyou're in jail.
1530
01:17:27,010 --> 01:17:29,010
And I meanthat in the nicest way.
1531
01:17:29,012 --> 01:17:31,112
You better looklike Linda Hamilton in "t2"
1532
01:17:31,114 --> 01:17:33,881
when you get out.Baby got back!
1533
01:17:33,883 --> 01:17:36,017
Like actual back,it was awesome!
1534
01:17:38,820 --> 01:17:41,061
I'll see you next month and tryand stay out of trouble.
1535
01:17:43,692 --> 01:17:44,892
Hugs.
1536
01:17:44,894 --> 01:17:48,229
Martha.
1537
01:17:48,231 --> 01:17:54,101
P.S., I hate youwhich in case you forgot
1538
01:17:54,103 --> 01:17:56,704
means I love you like a sister.
1539
01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:28,069
I did learn this this from
"hot knockers 4."
1540
01:18:28,071 --> 01:18:29,437
Oh, baby.
1541
01:18:29,439 --> 01:18:31,772
Shan! Stop, your my sister.
1542
01:18:31,774 --> 01:18:33,274
Hold still, baby.
1543
01:18:33,276 --> 01:18:35,810
Thank you. You are...
you have a treasure trove.
1544
01:18:35,812 --> 01:18:38,312
You're like the Maya
angelou of dick sucking,
1545
01:18:38,314 --> 01:18:39,346
and I mean that.
1546
01:18:39,348 --> 01:18:41,849
It was just a big urine cake.
1547
01:18:45,487 --> 01:18:50,157
It's true. I got it! I got it!
1548
01:18:50,159 --> 01:18:53,027
I was just...
I was just a big urinal cake.
1549
01:18:53,029 --> 01:18:58,399
The entire community...
I'm sorry.
1550
01:18:58,401 --> 01:19:00,267
Everyone's excited but
I don't know what's happening.
1551
01:19:00,269 --> 01:19:01,936
Like, like, like!
1552
01:19:01,938 --> 01:19:04,772
What are we...
what are we jacking?
1553
01:19:04,774 --> 01:19:07,942
Maybe it's me,
maybe it's Jerry Garcia,
1554
01:19:07,944 --> 01:19:10,511
maybe it's cousin it.
Nobody knows.
1555
01:19:10,513 --> 01:19:14,181
Hello, I'm here for your
bar Mitzvah, shalom!
1556
01:19:14,183 --> 01:19:17,218
Come at you and I'll fuck you so
hard you'll come out your butt.
1557
01:19:32,968 --> 01:19:35,436
Are we looking into the lens?
1558
01:19:35,438 --> 01:19:39,540
No, I can't look away. I can't look away.
I can't look away.
1559
01:19:39,542 --> 01:19:41,776
You want us to come
on the cart?
112509
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