Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
2
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:04,720
Ooh.
3
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,160
[Contemporary bluesy music
plays]
4
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,320
// "I woke up in a stupor" //
5
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:19,920
// "Guess it's time"
"to face the pooper" //
6
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,400
// "Sometimes"
"I feeI Iike Superman" //
7
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,480
// "Sometimes"
"I'm just recuperating" //
8
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,000
// "Yeah" //
9
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,120
// "My head"
"Is twisting in its cage" //
10
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,840
// "My mind"
"feeIs Iike a twenty gauge" //
11
00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,400
// "Hope it's just"
"a passing stage" //
12
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:34,800
// "My heart's not red,"
"it's beige" //
13
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,040
// "It's days Iike this"
"that burn me" //
14
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,240
// "Turn me inside out"
"and Iearn me" //
15
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:44,200
// "Not to teII you anything"
"I think I know" //
16
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,280
// "But I think I'II teII you"
"aII that I know" //
17
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:47,960
// "Tried to teII you"
"aII about it" //
18
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,680
// "Thought you might've heard,"
"I doubt it" //
19
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,560
// "Every day's a waste I know,"
"and every day's a funeraI" //
20
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,040
// "Cutting out,"
"I'm feeIing Iost" //
21
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,600
// "Lost my mind,"
"I'm Mr. Frost" //
22
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,200
// "CoIIected aII the evidence,"
"I'm off the edge" //
23
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,600
// "I'm on the fence" //
24
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,720
// "It's days Iike this"
"that burn me" //
25
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,640
// "Turn me inside out"
"and Iearn me" //
26
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,600
{y:i}RYAN.: HeIIo. HeIIoI
27
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,000
{y:i}-So--WaitI HeyI HeyI
{y:i}-What?
28
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,720
You're such a rogue.
Gimme that.
29
00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:10,800
-No!
-Gimme that.
30
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,840
Hey--hey! Hey! Hey!
31
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,000
// "I want to sink"
"to the bottom of the ocean" //
32
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,000
-Hey! Hey!
-Hey?
33
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,680
// "With you tiII I'm gone" //
34
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,720
// "At the bottom"
"of the big bIue sea" //
35
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,760
// "Just you and me" //
36
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:33,600
// "At the bottom"
"of the big bIue sea" //
37
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:36,560
Hey, baby. Baby!
38
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,240
Turn it off.
Ugh! Turn it off!
39
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,320
-Turn it off!
-[Thump]
40
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,360
Do you think this is a joke?
41
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,240
When I come home tonight,
we're gonna talk about this...
42
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:52,360
'cause this is not working.
43
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,000
You want to push it
even further?
44
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,040
Whatever. This is ridiculous.
45
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,920
[Sighs]
46
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,040
// "Turn me inside out"
"and Iearn me" //
47
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:06,560
// "Not to teII you anything"
"I think I know" //
48
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,520
// "But I think"
"I teII you more than I know" //
49
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:13,040
// "I don't want to be aIone,"
"I want to be a stone" //
50
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,080
// "I want to sink"
"to the bottom of the ocean" //
51
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,320
// "And Iie there,"
"Iie there with you" //
52
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,080
// "Lie there with you"
"tiII I'm gone" //
53
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,080
[Clicking]
54
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,800
[Blip]
55
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,480
[Sighs]
56
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,120
[Click]
57
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,520
It happened again...
58
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,080
last night.
59
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,440
-Ohh.
-Mmm. [Giggles]
60
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,000
"MATT.: It's hard to expIain".
61
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,320
{y:i}It starts out
"Iike an earthquake"...
62
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,120
[Sighs]
63
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,960
{y:i}And I Iook over at the girI
"next to me"...
64
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,520
{y:i}and whoever she is,
"she's not NicoIe".
65
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,720
[Door closes]
66
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,120
"And aII I feeI is emptiness".
67
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,680
"And that's when it happens".
68
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,240
[Rumbling]
69
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:08,120
"This great big bIack hoIe"...
70
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,200
opens up over my head.
71
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,280
Again with the black hole.
72
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,960
-Yeah.
-[Rumbling and cracking]
73
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,520
It's nothing but vast emptiness.
74
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,480
-And then what?
-I panic.
75
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,440
[Panting]
76
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,640
[Thud]
77
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,320
-Unh!
-[Thud]
78
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,120
[Breathing heavily]
79
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,760
You gotta help me.
You gotta...
80
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,920
light a candle for me
or something.
81
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,080
I'm not lighting a candle...
82
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,480
so you can feel better
about getting laid.
83
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:53,920
That's not what this is about.
84
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,080
[Bang]
85
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,720
Look, it's been six months
since Nicole dumped you.
86
00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,880
And you're running around
feeling sorry for yourself...
87
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,120
screwing every woman in sight.
88
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,160
You want me to tell you it's OK,
that God forgives you...
89
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,600
but at some point, it's not OK,
and he doesn't forgive you!
90
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:06,680
What kind of advice is that?
91
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,440
If you don't like my advice,
go see a real priest.
92
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,040
How will you be a real priest
if you can't follow the rules?
93
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,480
[Slam]
94
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,280
Besides, you're...
95
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,960
you're the only priest I know
who happens to be my brother.
96
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,920
And you're only a year away
from being a real priest anyway.
97
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,920
Two years.
Look, what you need to do...
98
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,280
is deal with your emotions
and stop screwing around.
99
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,800
What I don't need
is a lecture from you, dick.
100
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,240
[Slam]
101
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:35,600
{y:i}JOHN.: You're the dickI
102
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,160
[Slams door]
103
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,400
"RYAN.: No. That sounds great".
"That sounds incredibIe".
104
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,200
Uh-huh. We'll probably have
to bump a few things...
105
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,120
from our schedule, but we can
make it happen for tonight.
106
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,920
Yeah. Matt and I will
definitely be there tonight.
107
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,400
We're putting our bells on
right now.
108
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:53,240
[Laughs]
OK. All right. Bye-bye.
109
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:56,560
-I can't go.
-What are you talking about?
110
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,400
I just don't feel like it
right now.
111
00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,800
You don't fe--Look!
112
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:02,200
I know you're still trying to
work out your Nicole issues...
113
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,760
with the big black hole,
but trust me, trust me--
114
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,320
I don't have any Nicole issues.
115
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,920
Hi. I'm one of the many
pictures of Nicole...
116
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,560
{y:i}that infest Ryan and Matt's
"apartment after six months".
117
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,200
And she's hot, Matt.
I don't mind looking at her.
118
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,320
I'm just saying you have issues.
119
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:16,600
These are not issues.
120
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,040
Do you still think about her
when you jerk off?
121
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,360
[Gulp]
122
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,280
Anyway, I've got something
that's gonna make it all better.
123
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:24,600
Those two girls
we met in Tahoe...
124
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,280
in town for one night
and one night only.
125
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,880
Don't say no yet.
No, don't say no. No, no, no.
126
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:35,360
''I want to come. They're hot.
I want pussy.''
127
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:36,480
Oh, yeah!
128
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,520
[Music playing]
129
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,320
-Ahem. Hi.
-Hi.
130
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:48,440
How are you doing?
131
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,040
-Good.
-Good.
132
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,640
-You?
-Excellent.
133
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,560
[Laughs] Good.
134
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,000
Mmm. Waiter?
135
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,000
This isn't absolut vodka.
I ordered absolut.
136
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,920
-Yes, it is.
-Are you calling me a liar?
137
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,200
I'll bring you another one.
138
00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:12,440
Sorry. I hope
I didn't come off as mean.
139
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,400
No, no, no.
You know what you want.
140
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,880
That's a good thing, right?
141
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:21,240
Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I do.
142
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,800
I know exactly what I want.
143
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,840
[Laughing]
144
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,360
Mmm.
145
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,480
[Gasping]
146
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,000
[Cracking]
147
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,920
Unh!
148
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,000
Oh!
149
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,120
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
150
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,240
-What's wrong?
-Nothing.
151
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,320
-I'll be right back, OK?
-OK.
152
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,520
[Panting]
153
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,560
-[Turns water on]
-Get it together.
154
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,760
Hey. Throw me a magnum
for my magnum, big boy?
155
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,920
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
156
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,360
Hey, have you ever noticed
the crack on my ceiling?
157
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,560
Dude, you're action-packed
with issues.
158
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:09,080
I can't do this anymore.
I can't do it.
159
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,160
What, does Johnny
not want to come out and play?
160
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,280
No. Johnny--Johnny's fine, OK?
161
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,920
[Sighs] It's--
I'm all fucked up.
162
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,640
All right,
here's what you're gonna do.
163
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,520
You're gonna strap
a helmet on Big John...
164
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,680
put him in the game and he will
play his little heart out.
165
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,200
OK? He'll put up
big numbers for you.
166
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,640
You're gonna forget about
the cracks in the ceiling...
167
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,200
forget about Nicole.
168
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:33,000
Go out and give your star player
the support he needs.
169
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,480
-Right?
-Right.
170
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,240
Helmet.
171
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,520
Oh, God! Yes! Ohh!
172
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,120
Oh! Oh!
173
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,920
Oh, come with me.
Come with me. Are you ready?
174
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,880
-Almost.
-Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
175
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,920
Oh, yes! Oh!
176
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,320
[Rumbling]
177
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,840
-What are you looking at?
-Nothing. Nothing.
178
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,400
-I'm--Unh.
-Oh! Oh!
179
00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,280
Oh! Oh, yeah!
180
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,400
[Cracking]
181
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:05,080
Are you with me?
I'm close. I'm close.
182
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,320
Unh! Oh! Oh, God!
183
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,240
-Ready?
-Now?
184
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,160
Now! Ohh!
185
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,680
Ohh.
186
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,320
[Moaning]
187
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:22,680
Ohhhh!
188
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,880
Ohhhh!
189
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:27,600
Unh.
190
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,920
Oh-ho!
191
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,040
Ohh.
192
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,680
[Sighs] Ahh.
193
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,880
What the fuck was that?
194
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,320
W-what?
195
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,560
-Did you come?
-Yeah.
196
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,320
No, you didn't. You faked it.
197
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,920
No, no, no. Guys don't fake it.
I don't even think that we can.
198
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,440
-You faked it.
-Hey.
199
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,920
Hey. Hey.
200
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,280
[Grunting]
201
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,080
Let go!
202
00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,840
-Show me.
-Show you what?
203
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,280
You know. The stuff.
204
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,520
This is ridiculous.
205
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,280
What are you hiding?
206
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,800
Nothing.
Just give me second, OK?
207
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:16,840
-[Condom snaps]
-Ow!
208
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,400
-WOMAN: Just a sec.
-[Toilet flushes]
209
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,920
Here we go. Use anything.
210
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,640
-What's going on?
-I need something.
211
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,400
Anything that looks
like semen. OK?
212
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,920
Something
that looks like semen?
213
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,640
{y:i}WOMAN.:
{y:i}What is going on out there?
214
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,240
Fuck!
215
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:46,520
Eww.
You are such a bad liar.
216
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,400
-[Telephone ringing]
-Hey, Duncan.
217
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,240
-Thanks a lot, man.
-What's up, Matt?
218
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,320
-What's up, man?
-Chris.
219
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,840
Heard you tried to leave one
in the chamber last night.
220
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,520
-Where'd you hear that?
-Internet.
221
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:08,280
It's all on the internet
nowadays, you know.
222
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,840
This is an internet company.
223
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,440
And Ryan has a big mouth, huh?
224
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,240
-Morning, ladies.
-Hmm.
225
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,320
So, you in on
the basketball pool or what?
226
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,520
What's the line
on that game anyway?
227
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,520
I'll talk to the bagel guy
when he gets here.
228
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,840
What does the bagel guy
have to do with this?
229
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,600
The bagel guy knows everything.
The dude's incredible.
230
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:30,640
Then how come can't he get here
on time with the bagels?
231
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,320
-Appreciate it.
-Is that what I think it is?
232
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,520
-Don't worry.
-Can I see it?
233
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:41,880
{y:i}Hey. Dude, it's just been one
{y:i}of those days, you know?
234
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,440
"MATT.: Yes, I do".
235
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,240
I got held up at this import-
export place in Chinatown.
236
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,160
Some party.
237
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,280
-Golden Spear?
-That's the one.
238
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,800
Their mimosas they make there
are strong.
239
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,680
Go straight to your head.
Blbbh.
240
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,520
I used to know someone
who worked there.
241
00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:00,440
You know Tatiana?
242
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,080
Yeah, I know Tatiana.
She's nice.
243
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,360
No, she's not nice.
She's hot.
244
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,400
I'd hit that.
And how about Merj?
245
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:06,880
Yeah, I know Merj.
246
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,280
And what about that really
hot chick that got engaged?
247
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,000
"That was funny".
248
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,400
What really hot chick
got engaged?
249
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,440
The expediter chick.
You know, real slinky.
250
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,640
-What's her name?
-Nicole?
251
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:19,840
Nicole. That's it.
252
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,760
Man, she knows the guy,
like, two weeks.
253
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,120
She goes to France,
she comes back, she's engaged.
254
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,400
Now, she is
spontaneous combustion hot.
255
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,440
-I would definitely hit that.
-[Clanking]
256
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,920
How do you know it's Nicole--
N-Nicole that got engaged?
257
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,320
Dude, that's what the banner
said at the party.
258
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,360
''Congratulations Nicole.''
259
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,120
Whew. I can't believe it...
260
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,920
{y:i}because that girI, you can't
"even Iook right at her".
261
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,280
She's so hot you need one of
those eclipse-watching things...
262
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,000
just to look directly at her,
she's so radiantly hot!
263
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,560
It makes me want to just
throw her down, you know...
264
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,000
and just--[Bang]
You know what I mean?
265
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,760
Yeah.
266
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,560
I'm glad we can connect on that.
267
00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,480
Later, pimp.
268
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,880
-Later.
-Rrr!
269
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,600
Hey, Matt--
270
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,600
Matt?
271
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,560
You--you all right?
272
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,840
[Horn honks]
273
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,680
-Unh!
-Oh! Oh!
274
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,800
-Oh, God. I am so sorry.
-It's OK. It's OK.
275
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,720
-Are you OK?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
276
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:18,000
Is there anything I can do
to make it better?
277
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,320
Um...
278
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,880
anything?
279
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,880
Again?
Another girl already?
280
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,960
-It's not even the weekend.
-I know, I know.
281
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,760
"She met someone".
"NicoIe's getting married".
282
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,600
I'm sorry.
283
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,960
I mean, what can I do?
284
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,440
-Tell me what I can do.
-I don't know what to tell you.
285
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,240
This isn't really a problem
I know much about.
286
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,880
Listen, isn't
part of the priestly thing...
287
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,000
giving relationship advice?
288
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,400
Relationship advice, yes.
289
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,480
Sex advice, no.
290
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,120
Part of the priestly thing,
and stop calling it that...
291
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,480
is not to have sex, remember?
292
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,880
It's funny.
I didn't say a thing about sex.
293
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,000
-Sure you did.
-No, I didn't.
294
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,840
I guess thinking about sex
is part of the priestly thing.
295
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:08,920
At least for some.
296
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,840
-Get out.
-Fine.
297
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:21,120
-Good morning, Matt.
-Morning, father.
298
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,840
What's with the purple banners?
299
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,560
Lent. Starts today.
300
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,000
Going to be a long forty days
this year.
301
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,240
I'm giving up my one vice--
302
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,920
those precious little
madeleine cookies...
303
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,360
dipped in a starbucks mocha.
304
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:39,440
It's so hard giving up
what you love the most.
305
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,480
I've got it! Jesus Christ,
John, I've got an answer!
306
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:47,760
And the question is?
307
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,080
-Nicole.
-Again?
308
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,920
No sex for Lent--
for forty days.
309
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,880
If I can do that,
then everything will be OK.
310
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,080
That isn't what Lent is.
311
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,200
Lent is about sacrifice
and growth through self-denial.
312
00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,320
Lent is to remember--
313
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:02,200
How Christ felt
during the fast in the desert.
314
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,920
I grew up in the same house
as you, moron.
315
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,240
But when it comes down to it,
that's exactly what this is.
316
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,320
This is growth,
this is self-denial...
317
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:11,440
and this is sacrifice.
318
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,520
Dude!
319
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,240
It's not that simple, Matt.
Trust me.
320
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:17,400
It is that...
321
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,360
You're right.
322
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,600
You're totally right.
323
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,240
Sex alone is not enough.
324
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,640
It has to be sex
and all things sex-like.
325
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,600
You'll never be able to do that.
326
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,240
Just listen, here's the plan.
327
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,920
One--no sex.
328
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,640
Two--
no sexual intimacy of any kind.
329
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,000
No nibbling, no biting,
no scratching.
330
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:45,600
"No sucking, no fondIing".
"None of that".
331
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:48,280
"And three"...
332
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,720
no masturbation.
333
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,640
You won't last a week.
334
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,400
Oh, you're wrong, brother.
335
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,720
I'm gonna go the distance.
336
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:05,280
"MAN.:" // "Mmm" //
337
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,080
// "Then I was grown"
"to be a man" //
338
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,720
{y:i}CHORUS.:
// "Grown to be a man" //
339
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,360
"MAN.:" // "And the deviI"
"wouId caII my name" //
340
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,120
{y:i}CHORUS.:
// "Grown to be a man" //
341
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,440
{y:i}MAN.:
// "I said, ''Who do''"//
342
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,920
// "''Who do you think"
"you're fooIin'?''"//
343
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,480
{y:i}CHORUS.:
// "Grown to be a man" //
344
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,400
"MAN.:" // "I can snatch"
"a IittIe purity" //
345
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,760
// "My mama Ioved me" //
346
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,360
// "She Ioved me" //
347
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,960
// "She got down on her knees"
"and hugged me" //
348
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,840
// "And she Ioved me"
"Iike a rock" //
349
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,240
// "Whoa, yeah" //
350
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:36,560
// "Rocked me Iike the rock"
"of ages and Ioved me" //
351
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,840
// "She Ioved me, Ioved me,"
"Ioved me" //
352
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,400
{y:i}CHORUS.:
// "Loved me Iike a rock" //
353
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,360
{y:i}MAN.:
// "My mama Ioves me" //
354
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,280
{y:i}CHORUS.:
// "Loves me Iike a rock" //
355
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,280
Your brother looks happy.
356
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,960
He's just taken
a vow of celibacy.
357
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,920
Oh.
358
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,320
Oh, dear.
359
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,240
[Claps]
360
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,760
// "Live, baby, Iive" //
361
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,960
// "Now that the day is over" //
362
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,200
// "I got a new sensation" //
363
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,680
// "In perfect moments" //
364
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:22,640
// "So impossibIe to refuse" //
365
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,880
// "SIeep, baby, sIeep" //
366
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,640
// "Now that the night is over" //
367
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,920
// "And the sun comes"
"Iike a God" //
368
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,280
// "Into our room" //
369
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,520
Whoo. Dude.
370
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,440
// "AII perfect Iight"
"and prom--" //
371
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:46,720
[Music stops]
372
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:47,840
Dude.
373
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,280
What the fuck is that?
374
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,880
This is a 1966
Karmann Ghia coupe.
375
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,000
When I'm finished with that,
I'm gonna do...
376
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,920
{y:i}the Caterham super seven
"cycIe-fender speciaI".
377
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,800
We're going out tonight.
There's this club--
378
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,360
Remember that Australian
chick--Jennifer Moss?
379
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,160
She's got friends visiting
from Sydney.
380
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,640
Can't. I have laundry.
381
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:10,240
Do you know why they call it
down under, Matt?
382
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,960
I still can't.
383
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,040
Do you realize how much time
we waste thinking about girls?
384
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,120
You want some alone time in
the apartment for jerking off.
385
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,080
That's cool.
I can do that. That's cool.
386
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,080
"I'II teII 'em you said hi".
387
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,160
[Thunder]
388
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,720
Ohh.
389
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:09,600
Ahem.
390
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,720
Do you have change
for two dollars?
391
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,760
Excuse me.
I forgot something to read.
392
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,480
Do you mind if I borrow this?
393
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,640
Thanks.
394
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,440
A lovers' rendezvous.
395
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,880
You--you underline words
that you don't know...
396
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:51,960
and then look them up later?
397
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,280
Right?
And you underlined ''tryst''...
398
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:57,960
which is a meeting of lovers.
399
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,040
I do that, too, so...
400
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,600
{y:i}Ahem. Matt?
401
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,040
It was on the cover
of the magazine.
402
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,760
[Sighs]
403
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,760
Can I borrow
a sheet of fabric softener?
404
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:26,800
Thanks.
405
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:31,480
[Closes dryer]
406
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:39,600
Ahem.
407
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,600
It's been really fun
almost chatting with you.
408
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,560
Same time next week?
409
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,640
OK. Bye.
410
00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,840
You are way ahead of schedule.
411
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,720
If I were you, I'd give me
something else to do quick.
412
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,000
What about
the Willow and Smart account?
413
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,240
Think you can handle that?
414
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,680
I know window treatments
aren't the sexiest--
415
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,360
Oh, no, no.
Doesn't bother me at all.
416
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,120
Good. You'll be designing
the entire webpage.
417
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:15,480
OK.
418
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:22,760
[Drops bag]
419
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,400
"MATT.: Hey, Ryan".
{y:i}What's happening?
420
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,600
// "Turn off the Iights" //
421
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,920
Do you know
how many hours I spent...
422
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,440
looking for
my Temple of Poon tape?
423
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,080
One. That's a long time
to be looking for porn, Matt.
424
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,560
What the fuck is going on here?
425
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,160
One--you can't do it.
426
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,800
You can't. This isn't
a personal attack towards you.
427
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,200
No man can do it.
It goes against nature.
428
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,040
The male was biologically
designed to spread his seed.
429
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,640
You're gonna piss off
the seeds, man!
430
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,880
You're gonna--
It goes against science!
431
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,160
You want to be the guy
who goes against science?
432
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,240
And two?
433
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,000
Two--are you
out of your fucking mind?
434
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,680
You're the guy
who can't finish a sandwich!
435
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,200
You think you can go
forty days?
436
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,200
Four--You--
This isn't normal!
437
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:16,600
-[Sighs]
-She got engaged, Ryan.
438
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,720
Nicole got engaged.
439
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,040
Well...
440
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,680
I knew that. I knew that.
I--I didn't tell you...
441
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:27,800
just because I thought
you'd get pissed off.
442
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:28,920
I'm sorry.
I should have told you.
443
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,200
I had to hear it
from the bagel guy!
444
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,560
-Does that guy know everything?
-You should have told me!
445
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,320
I know that. I completely
should have told you.
446
00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:37,480
I'm sorry. Just explain this
to me, though, all right?
447
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:42,040
Nicole gets engaged, you decide
to take a vow of abstinence.
448
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,440
Haven't you gotten to the point
where you need to take a break?
449
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:49,160
Yes! Look, Matt,
I swear off girls once a week.
450
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,120
Then, before you know it,
it's morning.
451
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,320
That's part of the game.
452
00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:54,680
Did your brother put you
up to this or something?
453
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,920
You know what? He's about
as supportive as you are.
454
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,680
What do you care anyway? This
doesn't affect you in any way.
455
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,720
[Sighs]
456
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,280
You...
457
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,560
This affects everyone.
458
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,280
{y:i}CHRIS.: Right now,
"the pot is at two hundred".
459
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,840
{y:i}It's a minimum bet of $50
"a day, which goes into the pot".
460
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,120
If your day's the day, you win
the pot, less expenses...
461
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,360
and a bottle of champagne.
462
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,800
If more than one person
bets on the winning day...
463
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:19,480
they split the pot
according to the percentage...
464
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,240
of the day's total bets
that have been placed.
465
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,040
I go forty days without sex
all the time.
466
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,000
But, dude, you spank it.
467
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:28,120
-No jerkin' off?
-True.
468
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,360
Yeah. That's why
my money's on today.
469
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,320
There are two things
to bet on--
470
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:36,160
one--
will it be with some girl?
471
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:42,360
Two--will it be some lonely
night down the stretch? Pbbt.
472
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,320
[Laughing]
473
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,760
How will we know that, exactly?
474
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,760
Well, I can't tell you
everything...
475
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,720
but I can tell you that
there is somebody on the inside.
476
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,200
Yep. Like Ryan.
477
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:56,560
OK, so Matt
doesn't know anything?
478
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,000
No, no, no, no.
479
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,520
That is very important--key.
480
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,880
This is great.
I mean, this is crazy great.
481
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,520
Everything is so much simpler
when there's no sex involved.
482
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,320
I think this is the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
483
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:14,360
You're starting to feel it,
aren't you?
484
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,160
What?
485
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,520
The abstinence--it's starting
to get under your skin.
486
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,960
No. Not at all. I'm fine.
487
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,080
[Slides panel]
488
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:27,640
You know what I gave up
for Lent?
489
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:31,480
Meat. Why don't you try
something like that?
490
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,680
Trust me.
Celibacy takes years...
491
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,800
of commitment, character,
and discipline...
492
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,200
which, quite frankly,
are not your best traits.
493
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,600
You think you're the only one
with a little willpower?
494
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,480
A little willpower?
495
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,440
If you can do this,
I can do this.
496
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,800
You have no idea.
497
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,200
What is so hard
about forty days?
498
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:49,360
"MANDY.: They're guys".
499
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,160
To them, forty minutes
is like an eternity.
500
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:53,240
They're like animals.
501
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,280
Their entire lives
revolve around their penises.
502
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,440
How many days
do you think he'll last?
503
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:02,240
Days?
Mm-mmm, girl. Watch this.
504
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:06,200
"MANDY.: [Laughs] Uh-oh".
505
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:07,360
You are so bad.
506
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:10,720
[Thwack]
507
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,400
-Hi.
-Hi.
508
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,160
Did you, um, do these layouts?
509
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,560
I helped on them, kind of.
510
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,240
These are amazing.
511
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,600
Thanks.
512
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:41,040
You're like this
totally amazing layout guy.
513
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,160
Something's happening.
Behind me.
514
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,080
[Chair rattles]
515
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,560
-OK, come here.
-Oh, no.
516
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:54,520
Hey, I have
a big layout problem.
517
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,800
You do?
518
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,480
Can you keep a secret?
519
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,520
Yeah.
520
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,040
Oh, goodness.
521
00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:12,280
I have this tattoo
of a butterfly...
522
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,240
on the inside of my thigh.
523
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,160
Yes, you do. Ahem.
524
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,480
And I want to get
something on the other side...
525
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,360
but, um, I don't know
what to get.
526
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,280
{y:i}Any ideas?
527
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:25,760
I don't know.
528
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,800
"I was thinking about"...
529
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,560
like a cute little pussycat
or something.
530
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,240
Do you like pussy...cats, Matt?
531
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:33,760
Yeah.
532
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,800
'Cause if you're not
doing anything later...
533
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,080
you should come over
and help me pick one out.
534
00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:39,200
[Scratches]
535
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,360
I can't.
I mean, we can't...
536
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,280
because pussycats
are mean to butterflies.
537
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,080
"They don't Iike them".
"They disIike them very much"...
538
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,760
and hit them with their paws...
539
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,200
and it hurts
the little butterfly.
540
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:53,240
-Right.
-Yeah.
541
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,680
Well, OK,
if you change your mind...
542
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,320
[Copier hums]
543
00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:01,720
Did she just xerox her ass?
544
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,280
-What?
-Get off me!
545
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,600
{y:i}Give me a caII, OK?
546
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,360
-Ahem.
-[Rattling]
547
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,320
[Squeaking toy]
548
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,400
This is a photocopy
of Candy's ass?
549
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,200
Yep.
550
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,120
You're gonna call her, right?
551
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,240
Obviously,
you're gonna call her.
552
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:32,600
No.
I'm not gonna call her.
553
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:38,680
Ha ha! As soon as you don't
want it, they can smell it.
554
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,040
She photocopied her ass.
She photocopied her own ass.
555
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,200
You're doing a lot of laundry
lately.
556
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:44,520
{y:i}Didn't you just do it
{y:i}Iast week?
557
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,400
Just keeping it clean.
558
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:50,840
Who is she?
559
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,680
Look, I'm not gonna
sit in my room...
560
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,280
and build models
for the next forty days.
561
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,600
-Oh, you like her!
-It's--it's not that.
562
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,280
No, no, no! Have a nice time.
563
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:05,120
// "BasicaIIy probabiIity" //
564
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,480
// "Says that things"
"gonna start with me" //
565
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,840
// "It's been so Iong" //
566
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,400
// "On my sheIf" //
567
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:21,120
// "Train comes,"
"I don't know its destination" //
568
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,680
[Snaps fingers]
569
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:28,440
// "It's a one-way ticket"
"to a bad, bad situation" //
570
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,080
Busted.
571
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,040
// "Train comes,"
"I don't know--" //
572
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,400
-Yeah.
-[Turns music of"f]"
573
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,800
I thought I should tell you
I can speak just fine.
574
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,280
They were all out of flowers.
575
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,680
Yeah. That's cute.
576
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,400
I'm Matt. Officially.
577
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:51,920
Officially Matt.
578
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,840
[Laughs]
Officially Erica.
579
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,280
Officially.
580
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,520
So, you normally do
your laundry on Friday nights?
581
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,560
-Yeah. It's my new thing.
-New thing?
582
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:05,320
Well, there was a party...
583
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:06,720
[Sighs]
584
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,520
Don't you ever feel like
you just keep meeting...
585
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,200
the same exact people
over and over?
586
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,440
Like people that went
to this kind of college...
587
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,280
And now work
that kind of job, right?
588
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,440
Yeah.
589
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,840
I want to have a party
with a list at the door...
590
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,720
of all my friends
and friends of friends...
591
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:24,680
and if you're on that list...
592
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,160
or you know somebody
on that list...
593
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,840
then you cannot come in.
594
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,400
[Laughs]
595
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,960
How do you know
I'm not on that list?
596
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000
Nobody on that list
would have talked to me...
597
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,600
like you did last week.
598
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:38,320
Or not talked to me.
599
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,240
[Laughs]
Fair enough, fair enough.
600
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,720
So, what do you do
for laundry money?
601
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,200
I'm a cyber nanny.
602
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,680
What--what's that?
603
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,240
I spend all day looking
for pornography on the web.
604
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,720
All right, say you have
a ten-year-old kid...
605
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,480
with an Imac and a browser, and
she searches ''Girlfriends''...
606
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,840
and then gets
lesbian mud wrestling.
607
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,920
-Probably not the best thing.
-But you can't avoid it.
608
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,720
Like today,
I ran a search for ''sandbox''...
609
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,920
and got ''eat my box''...
610
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,120
''Sandy's hot box''...
611
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,760
and my favorite,
''vagina beach.''
612
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:19,200
My job is to find the site
and block it out.
613
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:22,360
So, you have to look at
these sex sites all day long?
614
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,320
Yeah. All day.
615
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:27,360
Drive you crazy after a while?
616
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,880
Yeah.
Some days I think...
617
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,840
that if I have to look
at another blowjob I'll scream.
618
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,640
God, yes.
Same thing happens to me.
619
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,400
[Laughs]
620
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,720
[Laughs]
621
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:39,040
What, you're going
on a date with her?
622
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:40,480
What, you're going
on a date with her?
623
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,160
Isn't that kind of getting
in the way of your thing?
624
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,320
-No, not at all.
-So you're not into her?
625
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:47,720
Oh, I'm totally into her.
626
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,080
So how can you
not want to fuck her?
627
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,840
Listen, you haven't heard
a word I said.
628
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:54,560
It's perfect the way it is,
and she's amazing...
629
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:55,800
and we are
totally connecting...
630
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,720
and it's not a sexual thing,
not for either of us.
631
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,280
Dude, you've got to tell her.
Seriously.
632
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,640
You can pass off two dates
without a kiss as old-fashioned.
633
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:04,920
You go three,
and you're a homo.
634
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:08,920
Yeah, yeah, I can see that.
635
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,320
Just got off the phone
with the guy.
636
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,160
There's a preliminary report--
a date happening on Thursday.
637
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,920
-What? Different girl?
-Same girl. Different date.
638
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:21,240
"He is taking her on"..."the bus".
639
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,360
On the bus where?
640
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:29,400
Nowhere. That's the point.
641
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,600
He just gets on the bus
and goes around.
642
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,880
Mmm.
643
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:38,240
If you want to get laid...
644
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,320
you take a chick
to a fancy restaurant.
645
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:41,840
But if you really like her...
646
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,400
you take her
to your secret place.
647
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:44,920
That's the bus for Matt.
648
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,160
Yeah.
Mine's the post office.
649
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,200
I don't understand.
So he's gonna get laid?
650
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,840
-Why ask me questions?
-I'll take Thursday.
651
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,120
I like to take girls there,
and I say, ''Let's go postal.''
652
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:54,840
-Shut up!
-Shut up!
653
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:01,400
Are you gonna be OK
with this guy?
654
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:02,880
Yeah. He's great.
655
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,360
-I'll be waiting up for you.
-No, you won't.
656
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:07,480
Oh, really?
657
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,280
If I bring this guy home
tonight...
658
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,560
you better make yourself scarce,
and I'm not joking, Sam.
659
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,400
-OK. Bye.
-Bye.
660
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,520
[Bump]
661
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:24,200
// "I remember when I found out"
"about chemistry" //
662
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,160
// "It was a Iong, Iong way"
"from here" //
663
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,400
// "I was oId enough"
"to want it" //
664
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,960
// "But younger"
"than I wanted to be" //
665
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,320
// "SuddenIy,"
"my mission was cIear" //
666
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:39,280
// "So for a whiIe"
"I conducted experiments" //
667
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,440
// "And I was amazed"
"by the things I Iearned" //
668
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,080
// "From the fiine, fiine girIs" //
669
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:46,840
// "Nothing but"
"good intentions" //
670
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:51,200
// "And a bad tendency"
"to get burned" //
671
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:55,040
// "Ahh, aII about chemistry" //
672
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,680
// "Won't you show me"
"everything you know?" //
673
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:02,040
// "Ahh,"
"wonder what you'd do to me" //
674
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,440
-There you go!
-Ha! All right!
675
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,360
Hmm. Told you.
676
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,280
So, did any other guys
ever take you on a bus?
677
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:10,600
Well, there...
678
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:14,040
there was a guy
who got us kicked off a bus...
679
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,320
and another guy
who tried to steal a bus...
680
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:19,200
and then the most recent guy
I dated...
681
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:23,160
went through a phase where he
actually thought he was a bus.
682
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,120
Where do you find guys
like that?
683
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:31,680
I don't. I don't.
They just...
684
00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:33,080
They always find me.
685
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:34,760
"They aIways fiind me".
686
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:35,960
[Brakes hiss]
687
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,640
What about you? Any criminal
records, addictions...
688
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,560
or weird little secrets
I should know about right now?
689
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,840
No.
690
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:46,360
Yeah. I didn't think so.
691
00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,960
{y:i}ERICA.: You're pretty up-front
"about yourseIf".
692
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,160
I have no reason
not to be honest, I guess.
693
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,080
Yeah. It always catches up
to you if you're not.
694
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,080
Yeah.
That's the way it is with me.
695
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:09,880
I mean, was with me.
696
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:14,320
Back in my more youthful,
wasted, younger days.
697
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,160
Ahem. This is me.
698
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,440
I've never had so much fun
on a bus before.
699
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:23,960
Me, too.
700
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,440
[Laughs]
701
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,720
[Sighs]
702
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:40,800
Good night.
703
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,040
Good night.
704
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,080
I'll--Unh! Whoa! Aah!
705
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:52,120
-Ow.
-W-watch that.
706
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:55,480
-I'll talk to you soon, OK?
-OK.
707
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,560
Very soon. Like tomorrow.
I'll give you a call.
708
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,000
-Great.
-Bye!
709
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,840
Bye.
710
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:09,160
-Like, a high five?
-No. More like a ''Gimme five.''
711
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,240
He's got a girlfriend.
712
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,760
Some guys are just different
about this stuff, you know.
713
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:17,960
Mm-hmm. Gay is different
to some people.
714
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,040
Well, I trust him.
That means a lot.
715
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,240
Is this anything like
the last guy you trusted...
716
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,240
who stole half your jewelry
and sold it on eBay?
717
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,320
Apparently, speed
is a very expensive drug, Sam.
718
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,160
Dude, you are so gone.
719
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,240
No, I love hanging out
with him. He's amazing.
720
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,680
I'm treated like an equal,
and we're connecting--
721
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:37,720
-It sucks, doesn't it?
-Yeah, it does.
722
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,560
It totally sucks.
723
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,120
Why doesn't he just
want to have sex with me?
724
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:43,480
So, how did it go last night,
champ?
725
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:45,080
What?
726
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,320
With your date.
Did you hit that or what?
727
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:48,600
What--what--
728
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:51,960
-[Coughs]
-What are you talking about?
729
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,880
[Coughs] Nothing.
Whoo. That was weird.
730
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,920
No more drugs pour moi.
731
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,880
What the fuck is going on?
732
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:03,800
[Wolf whistle]
733
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,040
[Clank]
734
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,000
{y:i}MATT.: You guys put up
{y:i}a web page about me?
735
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,520
"CHRIS.: Web page? PIease".
"Be more insuIting, man".
736
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,280
This is a complicated
betting pool.
737
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:13,400
[Train honking]
738
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:14,520
You guys can't make this public.
739
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:18,840
This is not something that
I want everyone to know about.
740
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:20,760
It's a little too late, dude.
741
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:25,400
Today's bets. Originally,
the spread favored day 26...
742
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,840
{y:i}but with aII the dating action
"in MattIand these days"...
743
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:29,880
"I'm gonna recommend day 23".
744
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:31,040
[Ka-ching]
745
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:32,400
{y:i}CHRIS.: Someone just pIaced
"another bet".
746
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,280
I had one come in all the way
from Bangladesh.
747
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,640
Little Haji
just loves to roll the dice.
748
00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:40,480
You guys have advertisers?
749
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:44,000
A friend of mine
started up a business...
750
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,840
and I gave him a good price.
751
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,360
A porn site!
752
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,480
Oh, shit!
753
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,120
// "You feII down" //
754
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,960
// "Dropped it in water" //
755
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,320
Hey! You know where
Erica Sutton is?
756
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,280
-Yeah. She's...
-Where?
757
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,920
You're that guy.
The abstinence guy.
758
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,680
Hey, it's the abstinence guy!
759
00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:17,120
[Men laughing]
760
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:24,200
What is this, some kind
of a bet not to sleep with me?
761
00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:25,960
No, this isn't a bet.
Let me explain.
762
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,640
Don't explain.
You don't have to.
763
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,120
I just read about it
over the fucking internet.
764
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,120
Erica! Erica, I should have
told you about this.
765
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,280
I thought you'd think
I was a freak. I'm sorry.
766
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,520
I can't believe the load of
bullshit that you fed to me...
767
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:39,640
about telling the damn truth.
768
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,360
I--I did this for myself.
769
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,040
I didn't think anybody else
knew about it. I swear to God.
770
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,680
Plus, if I told you,
you'd think I was a sex addict.
771
00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:48,880
-Are you?
-No!
772
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:50,320
Then what is the point?
773
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,320
What is the point
of this whole thing?
774
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,480
I just wanted to see
what it would be like...
775
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,520
without all the shit
that sex brings to the picture.
776
00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:59,720
Oh, so I'm like
some science experiment?
777
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:02,880
No! I--Look, I was going
through a really rough time...
778
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,560
and I just wanted to stop.
779
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,480
I wanted to stop
thinking about sex.
780
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:08,040
Not that I was thinking
about sex all the time...
781
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,400
I just wanted to stop.
782
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:15,080
And the thing is, it's working.
It's really working.
783
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,080
I'm glad it's working
for one of us.
784
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,760
[Matt sighs]
785
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,920
You stupid, stupid,
silly little person!
786
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,120
Why did you have to go
and tell everyone?
787
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,920
Look, if you're so ashamed,
maybe you shouldn't be doing it.
788
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,960
I'm not ashamed!
I'm embarrassed!
789
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,440
Then quit, Matt. Just quit.
790
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,360
Nobody thinks
you'll finish this thing.
791
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:40,800
I'm not fucking quitting.
792
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:45,680
Everything was going great
until you had to...
793
00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,840
I stopped having sex...
794
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:49,720
I'm totally
falling for Erica...
795
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,000
and I'm finally over Nicole.
796
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,120
You really think
you're over her?
797
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,800
Fuck, yeah! Bitch.
798
00:39:55,840 --> 00:40:00,160
Hmm. I ran into her
and her fianc๏ฟฝ last night.
799
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,080
What was he like?
800
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,360
He--he parties
with a friend of mine.
801
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,200
Apparently, the dude
works late every night.
802
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:15,280
That's what I heard.
803
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:18,360
So?
804
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,600
He works late every night--
a different girl every night.
805
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:23,360
Not that
it should matter to you.
806
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,400
No.
Why would it matter to me?
807
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,120
Yeah.
808
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,920
{y:i}JERRY.: My wife and I have
"been married for eight years".
809
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,760
I love her very much.
810
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:41,040
I...consider myself
a lucky person.
811
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,360
"That being said"...
812
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,200
"this woman"...
813
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:49,320
does not put out at all.
814
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,280
I mean, at all.
815
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,600
{y:i}I mean, we used to have sex
"everywhere".
816
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,240
We used to have sex
in this office.
817
00:40:56,280 --> 00:41:00,280
We had sex on this floor.
We had sex on this desk.
818
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:03,520
-On that chair.
-OK. I get it, I get it.
819
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,720
But now, I have
to practically beg for it.
820
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,400
I mean, it was kind of hot
for the first eight months.
821
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,440
The chasing after her...
822
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:15,440
surprising her
with my sexy new underwear.
823
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:20,120
{y:i}But now,
"I feeI a IittIe Iike a"...
824
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,400
like I'm a pervert.
825
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,040
I heard about the vow...
826
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:28,960
and I think it's genius.
827
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,920
Thanks.
828
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:32,400
{y:i}I mean, this is
"the perfect way for me"...
829
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,040
to regain the power
in my relationship.
830
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,480
See, I take the vow.
831
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:40,120
I tell her I'm gonna do without
for a few months.
832
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:43,480
I bet in half the time she's
going to be begging for it.
833
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:44,760
Don't you think?
What do you think?
834
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:48,560
I think you don't know what
you're getting yourself into.
835
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,680
Hey, put that away. Books
get you in trouble around here.
836
00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:59,320
-I can't work right now.
-So go home.
837
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,680
-I need the money.
-So work.
838
00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:04,880
It all reminds me of Matt.
839
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,640
Even ''donkey lovers''?
840
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:13,720
Call him or leave.
You're bugging me.
841
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:15,400
[Sighs]
842
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,680
// "A strange condition" //
843
00:42:18,720 --> 00:42:22,280
// "A daiIy prison" //
844
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,720
// "You've got me"
"out of my head" //
845
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:29,280
// "And I don't know"
"what I came for" //
846
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,680
// "Send me money, baby" //
847
00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:38,400
// "Do not Ieave out a wage" //
848
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:41,640
// "You know"
"you're the best thing" //
849
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:44,560
// "In the corner"
"of this pIace" //
850
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:48,240
// "And I want you to know" //
851
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,840
-How's the chicken?
-Good.
852
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:58,160
// "This strange condition" //
853
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,080
Why is this so weird?
854
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,400
Ahem.
855
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,440
If I told you, ''Don't think
about the color red...''
856
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:05,600
what would you think about?
857
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:08,480
Sex.
858
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:10,040
[Laughs]
859
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,000
OK, so we're both sitting here
thinking about sex...
860
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:13,520
because
we can't think about sex...
861
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:14,960
{y:i}because
"we can't taIk about sex"...
862
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,880
and we certainly cannot
have sex.
863
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,280
It's like,
so what are we doing here?
864
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,880
You know, if I didn't have
this vow thing...
865
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:25,680
I'd kiss you right now.
866
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,200
[Both sigh]
867
00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:35,920
-Thanks.
-Thanks.
868
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,440
[Coughing]
869
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:47,800
You OK?
870
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,000
[Coughs] I'm fine.
871
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,440
-Are you sure?
-I'll be right back.
872
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,280
-Are you--
-Yeah.
873
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,600
[Coughs]
874
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:05,920
[Whoosh]
875
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:07,360
Sir! Sir!
876
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:08,560
[Yelling]
877
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,360
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
878
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,200
Aah!
879
00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:17,000
-[Man laughs]
-Aah! Aah!
880
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:21,080
Oh! Aah! I'm OK.
881
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,040
[Laughing and clapping]
882
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:25,520
Thank you. Thank you.
I'm OK. Thank you.
883
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:26,680
-Matt.
-I'm OK.
884
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,360
Hi.
885
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,760
Nicole. How are you?
886
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:36,280
Well, better than you
at the moment.
887
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:39,760
-[Laughs]
-Yeah. Yeah.
888
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:44,680
This is, um, this is...
889
00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:46,080
This is Erica.
890
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:47,800
Nicole.
891
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:51,600
David Brokaw. Hi.
892
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,240
I'm Matt. I'm Matt.
893
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:57,280
"Oh, yes. Yes, of course".
894
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,760
Matt, you work at one
of those dot coms, don't you?
895
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:02,720
Yes. Yes, I do.
896
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:06,880
David's the youngest
executive vice president...
897
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:08,800
at Morgan Stanley.
898
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,720
Yeah, well, I'm the youngest--
899
00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:11,800
{y:i}Yeah, hey,
"It's aII good, Matt".
900
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:15,600
Listen, honey, you want
to give it one more try?
901
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:16,760
It's good to see you.
902
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,520
Yeah, you, too.
903
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:23,080
Bye.
904
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,160
She's the real reason
you took that vow.
905
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,600
[Sighs] No.
She's just an ex.
906
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,640
The vow is something
completely separate from her.
907
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,200
You're a really bad liar.
908
00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:43,960
I get that a lot.
909
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:47,280
Look, I know I should've
told you about her.
910
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:48,440
Yeah, you should've.
911
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,240
But I guess it's hard for you
to get the truth out.
912
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:56,880
Shit.
913
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,000
Hey, how about I quit the vow?
914
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:03,960
I mean, honestly,
I don't care about the vow.
915
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,600
Oh, sure, now
St. Matt wants a piece.
916
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,120
-No, that's not it at all.
-You don't want me?
917
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,800
No, of course I want you.
It's just--
918
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:13,400
[Sighs]
919
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,800
I care about the vow, and--
920
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,360
-You do?
-Yeah, I do.
921
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,040
And her?
922
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:24,320
I don't know.
923
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:30,760
[Sighs]
924
00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:34,360
I'll tell you what.
You want me?
925
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:35,840
Yeah.
926
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:37,880
Then finish your stupid vow.
927
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,000
And if you finish it...
928
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:41,600
then maybe we can talk
about being together. Maybe.
929
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,640
[Engine starts]
930
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,760
I've given up sex,
because I just...
931
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,520
I just want to connect
with people on a deeper level.
932
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:02,800
-Really?
-Yeah.
933
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:03,920
Is it working?
934
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,280
Working?
Of course it's working!
935
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:10,320
It's like this incredible high.
Can you not feel that?
936
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,760
Just sitting here
talking with you...
937
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:15,320
I'm mind orgasmic right now.
938
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,760
Mind orgasmic.
939
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,240
Yeah.
940
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:22,520
Hmm.
941
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:27,400
[Ryan and woman moaning]
942
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:31,880
{y:i}RYAN.: Oh, GodI OhhI
943
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:35,000
[Both moaning]
944
00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:55,800
We need to talk.
945
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:57,080
I can't. I gotta go.
946
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,800
I--I understand
what you're doing, Matt.
947
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:01,400
-You do?
-Mm-hmm.
948
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,640
Women have been doing this
since, well, forever...
949
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,680
so we know all about the power.
950
00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:08,920
See, us having the power,
that's part of the system...
951
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:11,480
and by you taking the power,
you're fucking with the system.
952
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,960
And I think you see why
we can't let that happen.
953
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,440
You bet on today.
This is about money.
954
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,360
Ah-ah. Signed and
notarized commitment...
955
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,320
to donate all proceeds
to charity.
956
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:26,400
So you want to have sex with me
to regain ''the power''?
957
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,600
We're willing to do
whatever is necessary...
958
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,120
to get the job done.
959
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,760
Why do you keep saying ''we''?
960
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,520
Oh, fuck.
961
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:42,240
Now, we think that this offer
is more than fair.
962
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:45,120
Can I talk to you for a second?
963
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:48,080
-Excuse me. What?
-I don't think I can do this.
964
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,000
Andie, we talked about this
already, OK?
965
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:51,520
I know, but just look at him.
966
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:52,960
I mean, he used to be
kind of cute...
967
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,480
but now he's just twitchy.
968
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:59,040
Shh. It'll be over
in, like, two seconds, OK?
969
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,440
Would you care to join us, hmm?
970
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,920
Mmm.
971
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,200
Oh, God. Not the tongues.
972
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,760
Oh, my God. I gotta go.
973
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:18,520
Yesterday was fine.
974
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,400
I mean, physically speaking,
I was fine.
975
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:25,040
But today...I'm not fine.
976
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:26,400
This morning
at the coffee shop...
977
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:28,920
they were sponsoring
hot women wearing no bras day.
978
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:30,240
[Slam]
979
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:33,680
Whoo.
980
00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:35,040
Hot, hot women wearing no bras?
981
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:36,960
I mean, like hot, hot women.
982
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:39,600
{y:i}There were 48 breasts at
"the Cafe Trieste this morning".
983
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:41,880
[Music playing]
984
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:43,480
[Woman moaning]
985
00:49:57,720 --> 00:50:00,080
// "Take a Iook at me" //
986
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:03,160
I know this phase. It passes.
987
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:05,200
But why does this
have to happen now?
988
00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:08,440
I mean, yesterday Erica tells
me I have to finish the vow...
989
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,480
and today I'm slammed by sex.
Why?
990
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:11,960
-Look, you've gone 26 days?
-Mm-hmm.
991
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,280
-That's very admirable.
-Yeah, thanks.
992
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:15,800
But you can't come
to mom and dad's tonight.
993
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:18,040
If I don't go, they'll kill me.
994
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:19,320
You don't want them
to see you like this.
995
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,160
I don't want me
to see me like this...
996
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,800
but if there's one place
I'm safe it's at home, right?
997
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:26,200
-Mmm.
-Right?
998
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:29,320
ALL: From thy bounty,
through Christ, our lord. Amen.
999
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,560
So, dad, when your hip heals,
will it be like normal?
1000
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,520
Yeah, pretty much.
I can golf, ride a bike.
1001
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:39,840
He just has to be careful.
1002
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:42,360
It's amazing
the things you can do now.
1003
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,280
You know, I'm part
of a pilot program...
1004
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:45,720
that's tracking
my range of motion.
1005
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:46,840
Really?
1006
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,200
Oh, they don't want
to hear about that.
1007
00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:50,920
No, no. They want
to see what effect...
1008
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:52,400
the operation's
had on my sex life.
1009
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,120
[Coughs] Sorry.
1010
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:56,280
Do we have to talk about this
at dinner?
1011
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:58,600
{y:i}FATHER.: Bev, we're aII aduIts
{y:i}here, aren't we?
1012
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:00,680
{y:i}Isn't sex a God-given
{y:i}naturaI part of Iife?
1013
00:51:00,720 --> 00:51:02,200
Don't start, dad.
1014
00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:05,560
Why not talk about it? I think
a good sexual appetite...
1015
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:09,360
is a real, normal,
healthy part of being a man.
1016
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,640
And a woman.
1017
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:13,840
Who wants more beans?
I do.
1018
00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:16,440
"FATHER.: They're grown men".
"They're oId enough to know"...
1019
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:18,640
{y:i}that their mother's machine
"is stiII running hot".
1020
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,920
Walter, this isn't the moment.
1021
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:24,480
Oh, no.
Let me show you people.
1022
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:25,920
[Brace squeaks]
1023
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:27,840
See...
1024
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:30,840
they sent me this sheet.
1025
00:51:33,240 --> 00:51:35,960
A whole bunch
of different positions on it.
1026
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:37,440
{y:i}I just check off
{y:i}the ones I can do--
1027
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:38,560
"Iike this one here".
1028
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:41,560
{y:i}I can do that,
"so I check the box".
1029
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,400
Hey, here's an old standby.
1030
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:49,440
But, see, I can't do that
because of my hip...
1031
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,760
so, you know,
I don't check the box.
1032
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:55,960
Bev, have we ever
tried this before?
1033
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,440
Walter, how could you forget
the Maui Hilton?
1034
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:04,880
In the shower.
I nearly killed myself.
1035
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,240
[Laughs] Yes.
1036
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:14,360
[Rattling]
1037
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:15,640
Damn it.
1038
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,600
[Sighs]
1039
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:21,560
RYAN:
Surprise inspection.
1040
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:22,840
[Sighs]
1041
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:24,920
[Buzz]
1042
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,520
[Humming]
1043
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:28,280
[Ryan whistling]
1044
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:29,720
What the hell is that thing?
1045
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:31,600
[Whistling]
1046
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:33,760
It's a special light
that allows me to see...
1047
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:36,680
if any fluids
have been liberated.
1048
00:52:36,720 --> 00:52:39,600
[Whistling]
1049
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,160
Keep up the good work.
1050
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,280
[Muttering]
1051
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:07,200
-[Chuckles]
-[Door opens]
1052
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:16,760
"MATT.:Ahem".
1053
00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:25,760
Hmm.
1054
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:29,280
Mmm.
1055
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:34,280
JERRY :
Ohh. These are good.
1056
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:35,920
[Sighs]
1057
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:39,760
Is--
1058
00:53:40,720 --> 00:53:43,440
Is he twisting her nipple?
1059
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:49,040
Jeez, that's an oversight.
I'll fix that. Ahem.
1060
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:52,280
I know what you mean. I've been
surfing for porn all week.
1061
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,480
-What am I doing wrong?
-Huh?
1062
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,720
I mean, not only is my wife
not begging for it...
1063
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,760
she's not...
1064
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,400
I've never seen her so happy.
1065
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:03,160
{y:i}And today. Did you see it's
{y:i}the warmest day of the year?
1066
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:04,960
Yeah, it's spring.
1067
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:06,440
It's spring, Goddamn it...
1068
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,320
and they're--look at 'em.
They're all wearing...
1069
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:11,080
"their IittIe summer dresses".
"Just"...
1070
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:14,200
[Sighs] Hmm?
1071
00:54:14,240 --> 00:54:17,080
What am I supposed to do now,
vow boy, huh?
1072
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:19,920
Fix this.
1073
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:21,880
[Pills jingling]
1074
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:27,560
Damn it!
1075
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:30,840
[Hums]
1076
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:35,920
Come on.
1077
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:40,240
-What's up, dog?
-Hey, what's up, dog?
1078
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,800
-What are you doing?
-Just, uh, freshenin' up.
1079
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:46,960
[Exhales]
1080
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,560
[Sighs]
1081
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,400
I'm tired of waiting
for things to happen.
1082
00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:53,840
And my money's on today.
1083
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:55,680
Yeah, that's great.
So what the fuck is that?
1084
00:54:55,720 --> 00:54:58,920
This is what the American
Medical Association...
1085
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:01,680
refers to as...viagra.
1086
00:55:01,720 --> 00:55:04,360
Well, I'm not gonna
let you do that, bro.
1087
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:07,280
Well, you can be bought...bro.
1088
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:10,200
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1089
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,240
Ahem.
1090
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:20,160
"Ohh".
1091
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:22,800
Who's that? What's that?
1092
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,680
{y:i}Oh, God, that's that new girI
"in tech support".
1093
00:55:26,720 --> 00:55:28,640
{y:i}Did you know
"that reguIar ejacuIation"...
1094
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:31,520
is a preventative
against prostate cancer?
1095
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:32,760
[Grunts]
1096
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:36,480
{y:i}DUNCAN.: So, is it that
{y:i}you hate your penis?
1097
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,480
Because, I mean, I personally
feel like that's--
1098
00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:41,320
God, that's one of the best
relationships I have.
1099
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:44,200
{y:i}Why do you think they caII it
{y:i}the IittIe head?
1100
00:55:44,240 --> 00:55:45,760
"I'II teII you why".
1101
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:47,720
[Chuckles]
Because he has ideas.
1102
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:55,480
I--
1103
00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:00,440
-Nice going, dumb ass.
-What?
1104
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:01,680
Hey, Jerry.
1105
00:56:01,720 --> 00:56:03,040
[Gasping]
1106
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,920
Chow mein. New girl in tech.
Very hot.
1107
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,880
Ah...ah...ah. Mmm.
1108
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:12,840
"Ahh. This tastes funny".
1109
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,880
{y:i}Not bad,
"just, you know, funny".
1110
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,480
Ohh. Mmm.
1111
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:27,800
Ahem.
1112
00:56:31,240 --> 00:56:32,360
Hey, Jerry.
1113
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,120
[Jerry gasps]
1114
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:40,840
Oh.
1115
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:42,000
Ohh.
1116
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,080
I--Excuse me.
I have to get...
1117
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:51,120
-Uh...
-Do you need this?
1118
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,520
-No.
-[Exhales]
1119
00:56:56,720 --> 00:56:58,600
I--I'm so thirsty.
1120
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:00,400
-Are you OK?
-Mm-hmm.
1121
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,240
[Door opens]
1122
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:11,520
Captain Blueballs.
1123
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:13,960
Been looking for you
since lunch.
1124
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,840
I was just, uh--ahem--
maintaining these...
1125
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:19,200
Yeah.
Matt, look at yourself.
1126
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:20,560
Your life is shit.
1127
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:24,840
{y:i}You're hiding out
"In a fuckin'storage room".
1128
00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:26,840
OK, here's how it's gonna go.
1129
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:34,960
You've already won.
1130
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,080
You've already
proven everyone wrong.
1131
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:39,880
Now it's serious.
1132
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:41,240
The pot's
up to eighteen thousand.
1133
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:42,960
That's a lot of money,
isn't it?
1134
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,560
-[Panting]
-It's your vow.
1135
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:46,360
It should be your money.
1136
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,520
So I'm gonna split it with you.
1137
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:52,040
That's right.
1138
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,800
And all you have to do
is take the dive.
1139
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:58,880
Think about it--
nine thousand dollars.
1140
00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:00,400
Nine large.
1141
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:03,360
Just take this.
1142
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:04,840
[Paper rustles]
1143
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:08,200
Uh-oh. You like her.
Now we're talkin'.
1144
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,680
-She's something, isn't she?
-[Sighs]
1145
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:14,480
{y:i}Take her into the bathroom
"and get on with your Iife".
1146
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:24,600
[Bangs on door]
1147
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:30,480
Yes. Yes.
1148
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:35,320
// "Ah" //
1149
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,280
No, no, no. No, no.
He can't do this.
1150
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:39,480
I want to talk to him.
1151
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:41,040
Matt, don't do it!
1152
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:42,160
[Ryan and Duncan arguing]
1153
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:43,720
{y:i}DUNCAN.:
{y:i}We need you, MattI
1154
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:47,000
{y:i}RYAN.:
{y:i}Matt, don't do itI
1155
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:48,400
{y:i}Think about the IittIe guy,
{y:i}MattI
1156
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:49,840
{y:i}Don't think about thatI
{y:i}Think about meI
1157
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:52,160
-Huh? Think about me!
-Matt!
1158
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:54,360
No, no, no, no.
1159
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,720
Get out of here!
Get out of here!
1160
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:59,240
Matt, this is important!
I'm going to go in there.
1161
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:00,920
-I will throw down.
-Come on!
1162
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:02,320
Yeah. Fire in the hole.
1163
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:03,480
I'm going to give you
until the count of three.
1164
00:59:03,520 --> 00:59:05,760
Let's rock and roll.
Aah!
1165
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:07,280
You understand
why I had to do that?
1166
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,320
[Foot tapping]
1167
00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:18,280
[Chattering]
1168
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,440
[Hyperventilating]
1169
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:23,760
[Gagging]
1170
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:36,600
Aah. Ahh...
1171
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:39,000
-Jerry?
-[Gasps]
1172
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:43,880
Uh, Jerry's not here right now.
May I take a message?
1173
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:50,320
[Whispering]
What about the vow, Jerry?
1174
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:55,600
"I tried. I--I didn't"...
"I tried. I reaIIy"...
1175
00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:58,280
[Flushes toilet]
1176
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:00,040
[Chattering]
1177
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:04,800
It just--it just hit me
all at once.
1178
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:06,800
I mean, I've jerked off
three times since lunch.
1179
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:08,600
I still have
this fucking hard-on.
1180
01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:10,360
[Flushes toilet]
1181
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,440
"Way to go, Mr. Anderson".
1182
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:16,120
Two more, and you break
the company record.
1183
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:23,360
-Oh.
-WOMAN: Aw.
1184
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:25,240
"MAN.: Boo".
1185
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:26,880
[Crowd boos]
1186
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:28,600
What?
1187
01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:30,520
[Laughs]
1188
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:41,320
"RYAN.:AII right".
"This is ridicuIous".
1189
01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:43,760
-[Sighs]
-I am going in.
1190
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:50,640
Ahh. Uhh.
1191
01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:55,960
Where is Matt?
1192
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,120
Um...
1193
01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:01,360
"Heh".
1194
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,360
Well, I don't know.
1195
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,640
[Crowd whispers]
1196
01:01:12,680 --> 01:01:13,760
He didn't do it.
1197
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:16,040
-Yeah!
-[Cheering]
1198
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:18,160
[Thunder]
1199
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:22,960
[Rings doorbell]
1200
01:01:31,240 --> 01:01:32,360
Hi.
1201
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,920
I know
I shouldn't be here...
1202
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:36,920
but I've been thinking
about you a lot...
1203
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:38,640
and I had to see you.
1204
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:44,560
What are those,
like some kind of a bribe?
1205
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:49,840
More like...gentle persuasion.
1206
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:56,640
{y:i}ERICA.: Is this going to get
{y:i}worse before it gets better?
1207
01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:58,360
Probably, but I got
to get this out...
1208
01:01:58,400 --> 01:01:59,920
before I lose
my train of thought.
1209
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:02,360
See...
1210
01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:06,400
Nicole had this...
1211
01:02:06,440 --> 01:02:09,520
special status.
1212
01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:11,640
More like a special power.
1213
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,960
And I couldn't match it...
1214
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:15,920
and I couldn't find anybody
to replace it.
1215
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:18,800
-I think I get it.
-You do?
1216
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:24,080
It's very easy to confuse
a physical attraction...
1217
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:25,760
with a real connection.
1218
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:27,880
Yeah.
Sometimes you just can't tell.
1219
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:29,680
Well, you can tell.
1220
01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:31,720
You can tell by the kiss.
1221
01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:34,960
You know, the other stuff--
the sex, ''Is he hot?''
1222
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:37,480
It doesn't matter.
1223
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:40,120
All that matters is the kiss.
1224
01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:43,920
How do you know about me?
1225
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:45,560
I don't.
1226
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:58,040
{y:i}I don't even know
"If you can feeI that".
1227
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:01,400
I can feel that.
1228
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:04,640
Is this against the rules?
1229
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:09,840
I'll let you be
the judge of that.
1230
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:15,080
-I'm thinking now.
-I'm thinking now, too.
1231
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,240
Come here.
1232
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:29,200
[Sighs]
1233
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:41,160
[Woman singing]
1234
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:59,760
// "I wanna waIk beside you" //
1235
01:03:59,840 --> 01:04:07,160
// "Nowhere"
"that I have ever been" //
1236
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:12,600
// "And aII the dreams"
"inside you" //
1237
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:18,480
// "I am the one"
"you have not seen" //
1238
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:25,080
// "I feeI immune" //
1239
01:04:25,120 --> 01:04:28,400
// "By my own mind" //
1240
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:31,840
// "I can't refuse" //
1241
01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:38,360
// "An offer to make Iove" //
1242
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:41,120
// "To you" //
1243
01:04:45,160 --> 01:04:49,920
// "How come your words"
"affect me" //
1244
01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:51,040
Ooh.
1245
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:53,880
// "I have not wanted" //
1246
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:58,640
// "To be aIIowed" //
1247
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:02,000
// "And yet"
"I made you set free" //
1248
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:04,080
[Erica moaning]
1249
01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:11,000
// "With aII the meaning"
"was the sound" //
1250
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:16,040
// "In your refrain" //
1251
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:19,360
// "I hear the chords" //
1252
01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:21,680
// "Of Iove in vain" //
1253
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:23,360
"Ohh".
1254
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:25,680
// "How can I heIp" //
1255
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:30,680
// "CaIIing your name?" //
1256
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:41,360
I wasn't supposed
to do that, was I?
1257
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:44,120
Huh? Huh?
1258
01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:47,760
Mmm.
1259
01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:54,840
Good night, sweetie.
1260
01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:58,360
Oh, no. Don't go to sleep yet,
because...
1261
01:05:58,400 --> 01:05:59,640
we should talk about something.
1262
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:02,480
-Mm-hmm.
-We could talk about anything.
1263
01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:04,080
We could talk about...
1264
01:06:04,120 --> 01:06:06,160
we could talk about stickers.
1265
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:08,440
Do you like stickers?
1266
01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:11,160
Erica?
1267
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:13,080
[Woman singing]
1268
01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:42,760
{y:i}Matt, what are you doing?
1269
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:44,920
The Willow and Smart people
are here.
1270
01:06:44,960 --> 01:06:46,800
We're late
for the presentation. Come on.
1271
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:57,600
"-Oh, my"...
"-What the"...
1272
01:06:57,640 --> 01:07:00,000
[Employees laugh]
1273
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:05,000
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
1274
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:08,160
-Miss Willow.
-Ohh.
1275
01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:09,760
Uhh.
1276
01:07:09,800 --> 01:07:12,440
Come on over here
for a second. Um...
1277
01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:15,040
Want some camomile tea?
1278
01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:18,680
I think little Mattie
is trying to say hello.
1279
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:19,800
Oh, Jesus.
1280
01:07:19,840 --> 01:07:22,040
You might want to try
some tighty-whiteys, jeans.
1281
01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:23,720
-You, go home. Now.
-OK.
1282
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:25,200
[Mutters]
1283
01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:29,760
So, shall we get it on?
1284
01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:31,120
Start?
1285
01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:34,800
From a flower?
1286
01:07:39,200 --> 01:07:41,120
Like, a vibrating flower?
1287
01:07:41,160 --> 01:07:44,000
No. No, just a flower.
1288
01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:47,360
And he didn't touch you once?
1289
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:48,880
He didn't even try
to touch you?
1290
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,320
No, and I so wanted him to...
1291
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,160
but what we were doing
was so perfect.
1292
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,480
Oh, yeah, perfect--
1293
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:56,560
the immaculate orgasm.
1294
01:07:56,600 --> 01:08:00,280
-[Laughs] Yes.
-You are unbelievable.
1295
01:08:00,320 --> 01:08:04,000
// "Yeah, yeah, yeah" //
1296
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:08,800
// "We have a space to share" //
1297
01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:11,720
[Doorbell buzzes]
1298
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:13,040
Erica.
1299
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:14,880
// "What I'm gonna do"
"with today" //
1300
01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:16,200
Coming.
1301
01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:17,680
Hey, baby.
1302
01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:20,960
Oh, that's sweet.
I really needed to hear that.
1303
01:08:24,080 --> 01:08:27,720
Oh, God, I must look awful.
1304
01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:28,880
Yeah.
1305
01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:33,160
[Sniffles]
Well, you don't look so great.
1306
01:08:33,200 --> 01:08:37,200
It's a long story. What are you
doing here, Nicole?
1307
01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:40,000
I just...
1308
01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:42,560
needed to talk to someone.
1309
01:08:42,600 --> 01:08:44,320
Where's David?
1310
01:08:44,360 --> 01:08:46,840
I don't know.
At the office, probably.
1311
01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:48,920
Working late?
1312
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:53,880
[Sighs]
1313
01:08:55,440 --> 01:08:58,880
We broke it off. It's over.
1314
01:08:58,920 --> 01:09:01,920
{y:i}Or he broke it off,
"I don't know".
1315
01:09:01,960 --> 01:09:04,600
I made the commitment...
1316
01:09:04,640 --> 01:09:07,080
but I guess he wasn't
too committed to it.
1317
01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:09,440
I'm sorry.
1318
01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:14,480
How's...
1319
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:17,520
Emily?
1320
01:09:17,560 --> 01:09:19,880
Her name's Erica.
1321
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:21,280
Good.
1322
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:26,280
You never think about me
anymore?
1323
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:28,800
Not even just a little?
1324
01:09:30,720 --> 01:09:33,480
Let me put it this way.
1325
01:09:33,520 --> 01:09:35,440
I have thought about you...
1326
01:09:35,480 --> 01:09:39,120
about us--a lot.
1327
01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:41,360
But tonight,
when you came in...
1328
01:09:41,400 --> 01:09:45,160
was the first time I didn't get
all fucked up about it.
1329
01:09:46,760 --> 01:09:49,480
I think we could get you
fucked up about it again.
1330
01:09:49,520 --> 01:09:53,160
Hey.
Maybe you should go, hmm?
1331
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:56,520
Mmm, I think your little friend
here wants me to stay.
1332
01:09:56,560 --> 01:09:57,800
Yeah, well, my little friend's
not in charge anymore...
1333
01:09:57,840 --> 01:09:58,920
so maybe you should go.
1334
01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:01,320
You're saying no to me?
1335
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,280
You always do this to me...
1336
01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:04,960
and I'm the idiot
because I keep coming back...
1337
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:06,680
but I'm not coming back
anymore.
1338
01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:09,560
You take everything from me.
1339
01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:11,000
That is so not true.
1340
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:13,000
Oh, yeah? Name me one thing
that you ever gave me.
1341
01:10:15,880 --> 01:10:18,680
I--I gave you
The Bridges of Madison County...
1342
01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:19,800
you ungrateful asshole.
1343
01:10:19,840 --> 01:10:21,320
I never told you this. I didn't
want to hurt your feelings.
1344
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:24,240
That was the biggest piece
of trash I ever tried to read.
1345
01:10:24,280 --> 01:10:25,560
You pig.
1346
01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:31,640
Matt, I am so--so mad
that I have...
1347
01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:33,200
I have to tell you.
1348
01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:35,560
Watching you standing up
for yourself like this...
1349
01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:38,480
has never made me so...
1350
01:10:38,520 --> 01:10:39,640
so...
1351
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:42,840
[Breathing heavily]
1352
01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:44,120
hot.
1353
01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:46,480
I like this.
1354
01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:48,120
Where have you been?
1355
01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:52,600
You can slam that door
in my face if you want...
1356
01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:55,520
but I'll just be
on the other side, even hotter.
1357
01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:59,280
Holy hell.
1358
01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:03,960
Slam that door
in my dirty, bad, bad face.
1359
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:06,880
Oh, God, Matt, slam it!
1360
01:11:20,080 --> 01:11:21,960
Aah!
1361
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:26,800
Will you just
think about it, OK?
1362
01:11:26,840 --> 01:11:28,760
The dude was in the john
with a dirty mag.
1363
01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:30,680
If that's me,
I'm painting the ceiling.
1364
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:32,600
Who does this Matt guy
think he is, anyways?
1365
01:11:32,640 --> 01:11:35,480
"He's jerking us around".
{y:i}How do we know this is reaI?
1366
01:11:35,520 --> 01:11:38,480
If you just go to Big Window,
look at the dude's face.
1367
01:11:38,520 --> 01:11:40,880
You would know. It's for real.
1368
01:11:40,920 --> 01:11:42,800
Merj, how many times
have I been wrong?
1369
01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:45,240
Pfft.
Stupid monkey-ass moron.
1370
01:11:45,280 --> 01:11:47,200
Why don't you quit
wasting my time over here?
1371
01:11:48,400 --> 01:11:49,920
Hey, bagel guy.
1372
01:11:53,120 --> 01:11:55,840
You know my name?
1373
01:11:55,880 --> 01:11:58,720
She says to me,
''You look like Lionel Richie.''
1374
01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:00,520
Well, that's great, isn't it?
1375
01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:02,200
No, that's not great.
That's not good.
1376
01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:03,360
Are you Chris?
1377
01:12:03,400 --> 01:12:06,080
-No, but I can be.
-Chris would be me.
1378
01:12:06,120 --> 01:12:08,280
Excuse me.
1379
01:12:08,320 --> 01:12:11,160
I need to place a bet.
1380
01:12:12,360 --> 01:12:13,360
Can you deal with this?
1381
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:20,600
-[Scoffs] Yeah, sure.
-Good.
1382
01:12:20,640 --> 01:12:22,360
The thing is,
it's a sucker bet.
1383
01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:23,960
It's going to be over
in twenty four hours.
1384
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:27,240
Ahem. 32 hours, 12 minutes,
and 26 seconds.
1385
01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:28,400
Thanks.
1386
01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:31,800
Plus, Matt
has this whole, uh...
1387
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:35,440
you know, midnight madness
thing mapped out and...
1388
01:12:35,480 --> 01:12:38,240
{y:i}His friend is coming over
"at the stroke of midnight".
1389
01:12:38,280 --> 01:12:40,480
You get it?
The stroke of midnight?
1390
01:12:42,360 --> 01:12:44,120
Thanks, buddy.
1391
01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:47,040
So, you'll take it?
1392
01:12:47,080 --> 01:12:49,680
Sure.
1393
01:12:49,720 --> 01:12:51,400
Thank you.
1394
01:12:51,440 --> 01:12:54,320
-[Ringing]
-Aw...
1395
01:12:54,360 --> 01:12:56,240
-Uhh.
-[Stops ringing]
1396
01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:00,680
[Yawns]
1397
01:13:00,720 --> 01:13:03,440
// "I cIose my eyes"
"when I get too sad" //
1398
01:13:03,480 --> 01:13:05,640
// "I think thoughts"
"that I know are bad" //
1399
01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:08,320
// "CIose my eyes,"
"and I count to ten" //
1400
01:13:08,360 --> 01:13:10,600
// "Hope it's over"
"when I open them" //
1401
01:13:10,640 --> 01:13:12,920
// "I want the things"
"that I had before" //
1402
01:13:12,960 --> 01:13:15,720
// "Like a Star Wars poster"
"on the bedroom door" //
1403
01:13:15,760 --> 01:13:17,240
// "I wish I couId"
"count to ten" //
1404
01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:18,680
Ohh! Ohh!
1405
01:13:18,720 --> 01:13:20,120
// "Make everything"
"be wonderfuI again" //
1406
01:13:20,160 --> 01:13:22,960
Ohh! Ohh! Aah!
1407
01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:25,440
// "We'II sit around"
"whiIe they get some air" //
1408
01:13:25,480 --> 01:13:28,000
// "I hear them scream,"
"I hear them fiight" //
1409
01:13:28,040 --> 01:13:30,800
// "They say bad words"
"that make me want to cry" //
1410
01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:32,120
// "I cIose my eyes"
"when I go to bed" //
1411
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:35,240
She's filled
with heavenly sweetness.
1412
01:13:35,280 --> 01:13:37,280
// "I'II feeI better"
"when I hear them say" //
1413
01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:38,720
I somehow don't think
Mr. Butterworth...
1414
01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:40,720
would appreciate that
very much.
1415
01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:43,560
// "Why must this mean"
"everything" //
1416
01:13:43,600 --> 01:13:48,080
// "When you're IittIe,"
"and the worId's so big" //
1417
01:13:48,120 --> 01:13:50,840
// "I just don't"
"understand how" //
1418
01:13:50,880 --> 01:13:54,440
// "You can smiIe with"
"aII those tears in your eyes" //
1419
01:13:54,480 --> 01:13:58,640
// "TeII me"
"everything is wonderfuI now" //
1420
01:13:58,680 --> 01:14:00,840
// "No" //
1421
01:14:00,880 --> 01:14:02,480
// "Na na na na na na na" //
1422
01:14:02,520 --> 01:14:06,160
// "No, I don't wanna hear you"
"teII me" //
1423
01:14:06,200 --> 01:14:08,200
{y:i}Excuse me, is this taken?
1424
01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:09,960
No.
1425
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:13,280
// "That I wiII understand"
"some day" //
1426
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:15,040
// "No, no, no" //
1427
01:14:15,080 --> 01:14:17,600
// "No, no, no, no" //
1428
01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:20,680
// "Someday,"
"If I hate everything" //
1429
01:14:20,720 --> 01:14:22,320
// "PIease don't teII me" //
1430
01:14:22,360 --> 01:14:25,080
// "Everything"
"Is wonderfuI now" //
1431
01:14:25,120 --> 01:14:27,680
// "Na na na na na na na" //
1432
01:14:27,720 --> 01:14:28,800
// "Na na na na na na na" //
1433
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:30,560
// "No" //
1434
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:32,520
Aah!
1435
01:14:32,560 --> 01:14:35,880
// "Everything"
"Is wonderfuI now" //
1436
01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:38,960
-You got to help me.
-You got to knock.
1437
01:14:43,040 --> 01:14:44,200
I'm seeing things.
1438
01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:46,320
{y:i}I swear to God,
"everywhere I Iook"...
1439
01:14:46,360 --> 01:14:48,440
I'm seeing tits and ass.
1440
01:14:48,480 --> 01:14:52,360
When I came in here, I swear
to God, I saw you kissing a nun.
1441
01:14:59,080 --> 01:15:01,720
Oh, my God!
You were kissing a nun!
1442
01:15:01,760 --> 01:15:04,440
I'm slipping, Matt.
I've already slipped.
1443
01:15:04,480 --> 01:15:07,200
-It's your stories.
-This is my fault?
1444
01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:08,920
[Sighs] No, it's mine.
1445
01:15:08,960 --> 01:15:10,520
It's been bubbling
under the surface...
1446
01:15:10,560 --> 01:15:12,880
"for a Iong time now".
1447
01:15:12,920 --> 01:15:14,520
I'm leaving the seminary
for a little while.
1448
01:15:14,520 --> 01:15:16,280
What?
1449
01:15:16,320 --> 01:15:19,000
It's just a sabbatical.
If I come back...
1450
01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:21,480
When I come back,
it'll be for good.
1451
01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:23,640
So, you can't help me?
1452
01:15:23,680 --> 01:15:26,520
You're on your own, little man.
1453
01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:33,240
[Sighs]
1454
01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:34,640
[Woman breathing heavily]
1455
01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:40,440
[Electricity buzzing]
1456
01:15:42,280 --> 01:15:43,440
[Woman moans]
1457
01:15:45,480 --> 01:15:46,600
"WOMAN.:Ahh".
1458
01:15:49,440 --> 01:15:50,800
[Door unlocks]
1459
01:15:50,840 --> 01:15:53,640
{y:i}RYAN.: WeII, weIcome
"to the cathedraI of iII repute".
1460
01:15:53,680 --> 01:15:54,760
{y:i}WOMAN.:
"Merci, monsieur".
1461
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:57,080
"Um, make yourseIf comfortabIe".
1462
01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:58,720
"Bien sur".
1463
01:15:59,920 --> 01:16:02,200
I almost fucked
an outlet today.
1464
01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:05,720
You, uh...
1465
01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:07,760
Since when do you smoke, Matt?
1466
01:16:07,840 --> 01:16:10,040
-Since today.
-Jesus.
1467
01:16:10,080 --> 01:16:11,960
Is this him?
1468
01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:13,720
"Yep. That's our boy".
1469
01:16:13,760 --> 01:16:16,120
You've started
a whole new movement.
1470
01:16:16,120 --> 01:16:20,240
Megatonchism--
sex without orgasms ever.
1471
01:16:20,280 --> 01:16:21,760
[Matt coughs]
1472
01:16:21,800 --> 01:16:24,480
You like to party?
1473
01:16:24,520 --> 01:16:26,840
Can I borrow your handcuffs?
1474
01:16:26,880 --> 01:16:28,720
[Locks handcuffs]
1475
01:16:28,760 --> 01:16:31,240
If my hand is free, I'm
bound to do anything with it.
1476
01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:32,360
Anything.
1477
01:16:32,400 --> 01:16:34,120
How much did you drink, Matt?
1478
01:16:34,160 --> 01:16:36,360
God's spirit made Jesus
go to the desert.
1479
01:16:36,400 --> 01:16:39,080
He was there for forty days
while Satan tested him.
1480
01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:41,720
He was living
with the wild animals...
1481
01:16:41,760 --> 01:16:44,600
but angels took care of him.
1482
01:16:44,640 --> 01:16:47,280
Mark 1:12.
1483
01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:49,480
[Sighs]
1484
01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:51,840
[Locks handcuffs]
1485
01:16:54,120 --> 01:16:55,800
I look like Jesus on the cross.
1486
01:16:55,840 --> 01:16:58,840
-Yes, you do.
-Yep.
1487
01:16:58,880 --> 01:17:00,280
You do.
1488
01:17:00,320 --> 01:17:02,480
So, what about
your late night visitor?
1489
01:17:02,520 --> 01:17:05,480
Leave the front door
open a little bit...
1490
01:17:05,520 --> 01:17:09,440
and put that key right there.
1491
01:17:09,480 --> 01:17:11,720
[Puts down key]
1492
01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:12,920
When she comes,
I'll tell her...
1493
01:17:12,960 --> 01:17:14,560
I was accosted
by home invaders...
1494
01:17:14,600 --> 01:17:16,360
and they tied me up.
1495
01:17:16,400 --> 01:17:19,040
OK, champ. Anastasia and I
are going to leave now...
1496
01:17:19,080 --> 01:17:22,480
so...you should sleep.
1497
01:17:22,520 --> 01:17:23,920
Think about the angels.
1498
01:17:23,960 --> 01:17:26,080
Peace be with you.
1499
01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:31,720
He is a little weird,
but it is Easter.
1500
01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:40,600
I feel like
it's my first time.
1501
01:17:40,640 --> 01:17:42,560
{y:i}It is, isn't it?
1502
01:17:42,600 --> 01:17:45,880
You are going to be great.
1503
01:17:45,920 --> 01:17:47,280
It's going to be great.
1504
01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:04,520
[Animal howling]
1505
01:18:04,560 --> 01:18:06,000
MATT : Ha!
1506
01:18:08,920 --> 01:18:12,800
Haah!
1507
01:18:18,320 --> 01:18:20,240
[Quacking]
1508
01:18:32,560 --> 01:18:33,880
{y:i}WhoaI
1509
01:18:33,920 --> 01:18:37,280
{y:i}AahI
1510
01:18:50,320 --> 01:18:52,040
{y:i}MATT.: UhhI
1511
01:18:55,040 --> 01:18:56,280
{y:i}NICOLE.:
"Show me you can do it".
1512
01:18:59,160 --> 01:19:01,520
"You can do it, Matt".
1513
01:19:01,560 --> 01:19:03,760
Show me you can do it.
1514
01:19:03,800 --> 01:19:05,280
Ohh.
1515
01:19:07,960 --> 01:19:10,320
"You can do it, Matt".
"You can do it".
1516
01:19:10,360 --> 01:19:12,240
You can--
1517
01:19:12,280 --> 01:19:13,680
Ohh!
1518
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:17,720
"Oh, there we go".
1519
01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:21,520
-Doesn't that feel better?
-Ohh. Uhh.
1520
01:19:21,560 --> 01:19:23,600
Relax, baby.
1521
01:19:23,640 --> 01:19:25,440
It's over.
1522
01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:31,760
[Breathing heavily]
1523
01:19:32,760 --> 01:19:35,840
What? Why?
Why would you do this?
1524
01:19:35,880 --> 01:19:38,520
Well, this all started
because of me.
1525
01:19:38,520 --> 01:19:41,360
It only seems natural
that I should end it, huh?
1526
01:19:41,400 --> 01:19:43,280
[Strains]
1527
01:19:45,040 --> 01:19:48,520
Oh, here's your key.
1528
01:19:48,560 --> 01:19:50,600
"I kept meaning to return it".
1529
01:19:50,640 --> 01:19:52,480
It turns out
the front door was open.
1530
01:19:54,760 --> 01:19:55,880
Are you expecting someone?
1531
01:19:55,920 --> 01:19:58,880
Oh, fuck.
1532
01:20:10,760 --> 01:20:12,360
[Alarm clock ringing]
1533
01:20:25,000 --> 01:20:26,360
-Uhh!
-[Ringing stops]
1534
01:20:33,960 --> 01:20:36,760
Oh, my...
1535
01:20:36,800 --> 01:20:39,840
I was asleep.
I thought she was you.
1536
01:20:39,880 --> 01:20:42,640
Ohh. Was it worth it?
1537
01:20:45,040 --> 01:20:47,040
Oh, come on, Erica, please.
1538
01:20:47,080 --> 01:20:48,560
Erica!
1539
01:20:50,160 --> 01:20:51,240
Erica!
1540
01:20:51,280 --> 01:20:53,000
Oh, shit.
1541
01:21:05,600 --> 01:21:07,520
[Sniffles]
1542
01:21:14,720 --> 01:21:17,280
// "I see the fever" //
1543
01:21:17,320 --> 01:21:22,600
// "And I Iove her for that" //
1544
01:21:22,640 --> 01:21:24,720
I'll say it was me. I'll say
I set the whole thing up.
1545
01:21:24,760 --> 01:21:27,400
I'll say that I handcuffed you
to the bed--which is true--
1546
01:21:27,440 --> 01:21:30,080
that I sent her over here.
1547
01:21:30,120 --> 01:21:31,680
She was here to see me.
1548
01:21:33,400 --> 01:21:35,000
No.
1549
01:21:35,040 --> 01:21:39,240
No? I'll tell her something
less idiotic, obviously, but...
1550
01:21:40,560 --> 01:21:43,160
No.
1551
01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:45,720
No more lies.
1552
01:21:45,720 --> 01:21:47,240
This doesn't seem like
one of those...
1553
01:21:47,280 --> 01:21:50,120
''truth will set you free''
situations.
1554
01:21:51,800 --> 01:21:53,400
No, it doesn't.
1555
01:22:01,280 --> 01:22:03,680
Hey.
1556
01:22:03,720 --> 01:22:06,040
Guess who dropped by.
1557
01:22:07,360 --> 01:22:09,640
He left hours ago.
1558
01:22:09,680 --> 01:22:11,880
He brought you this.
1559
01:22:11,920 --> 01:22:14,600
Personally,
I prefer the telegram...
1560
01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:16,560
but I did get to talk to him
for a little bit.
1561
01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:18,480
So?
I don't want to hear about it.
1562
01:22:18,520 --> 01:22:21,360
-OK.
-But now you're on his side?
1563
01:22:21,400 --> 01:22:24,200
Yeah, Erica.
He melted my heart.
1564
01:22:24,240 --> 01:22:27,600
He's a real mess about you.
It was a little pathetic.
1565
01:22:27,640 --> 01:22:29,760
That's not good enough.
1566
01:22:29,800 --> 01:22:31,080
Don't be stupid, Erica.
1567
01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:33,520
He's crazy about you.
What else do you want?
1568
01:22:33,560 --> 01:22:40,200
// "She wouIdn't Iet me,"
"and I Iove her for that" //
1569
01:22:41,640 --> 01:22:45,280
// "Ooh, oh" //
1570
01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:49,920
// "And though" //
1571
01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:52,960
// "You steaI her" //
1572
01:22:53,000 --> 01:22:58,120
// "You Iove her"
"and deceive her" //
1573
01:22:58,160 --> 01:23:03,160
// "She did nothing" //
1574
01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:06,040
// "So wrong" //
1575
01:23:06,040 --> 01:23:12,000
// "So wrong" //
1576
01:23:29,240 --> 01:23:31,000
// "Oh" //
1577
01:23:31,000 --> 01:23:33,120
Helps with static cling.
1578
01:23:33,160 --> 01:23:39,440
// "And I Iove her for that" //
1579
01:23:39,480 --> 01:23:41,400
[Sighs]
1580
01:23:43,360 --> 01:23:45,120
Where's your laundry?
1581
01:23:47,560 --> 01:23:49,840
I've been here
every day this week.
1582
01:23:49,880 --> 01:23:51,920
All my laundry's clean.
1583
01:23:51,960 --> 01:23:53,840
[Both laugh]
1584
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:59,320
I know I screwed up with you--
1585
01:23:59,320 --> 01:24:01,720
over and over and over.
1586
01:24:01,760 --> 01:24:04,600
It just took me a long time
to realize what I was doing.
1587
01:24:04,600 --> 01:24:06,160
Yes, it did.
1588
01:24:08,160 --> 01:24:13,480
I was trying to take a part
of me and make it go away.
1589
01:24:13,520 --> 01:24:19,520
And I closed my world off, and
I put myself in a little box.
1590
01:24:19,560 --> 01:24:21,920
And for a while,
everything seemed clear.
1591
01:24:25,240 --> 01:24:27,000
But then you came along...
1592
01:24:27,000 --> 01:24:30,800
and that didn't help anything.
1593
01:24:32,200 --> 01:24:34,520
Remember when you said
that you could never tell...
1594
01:24:34,520 --> 01:24:35,800
about someone
until you kiss them?
1595
01:24:38,840 --> 01:24:41,080
Well...
1596
01:24:41,080 --> 01:24:45,160
I screwed up.
I--I should've just done this.
1597
01:24:55,920 --> 01:24:58,440
Are you done talking now?
1598
01:25:19,320 --> 01:25:21,280
Thirty eight hours exactly.
1599
01:25:21,320 --> 01:25:23,520
-Son of a bitch.
-Damn it.
1600
01:25:23,560 --> 01:25:26,760
The pot's up to 140. Anybody
else want in on hour 39?
1601
01:25:26,800 --> 01:25:28,520
"DUNCAN.: Hey, hey".
1602
01:25:28,560 --> 01:25:31,840
{y:i}How do we even know that
{y:i}they're stiII even in there?
1603
01:25:31,880 --> 01:25:35,520
They could've put the CD player
on repeat or shuffle.
1604
01:25:35,560 --> 01:25:38,200
-That's a good point.
-It is a good point...
1605
01:25:38,240 --> 01:25:39,720
because they could've
snuck out the back window...
1606
01:25:39,760 --> 01:25:41,680
and we're still sitting around
here like a bunch of chimps.
1607
01:25:41,720 --> 01:25:43,960
-Chimps.
-You know what? Look at me.
1608
01:25:44,000 --> 01:25:46,680
I've been here the whole time.
Believe it.
1609
01:25:46,680 --> 01:25:48,520
[Music stops]
1610
01:25:56,960 --> 01:25:58,040
[Music playing]
1611
01:25:58,080 --> 01:26:01,000
Oh, put me in for a tenner.
1612
01:26:01,040 --> 01:26:05,640
He'll keep going.
Two dollars, please.
1613
01:26:05,680 --> 01:26:06,760
[Door slams]
1614
01:26:06,800 --> 01:26:09,200
-[Chattering stops]
-Uhh.
1615
01:26:19,480 --> 01:26:21,200
-Hey, Matt.
-What's up, Matt?
1616
01:26:21,240 --> 01:26:22,320
Hey, Matt.
1617
01:26:22,360 --> 01:26:25,200
All right, you guys. Come on,
get out. Get out of my house.
1618
01:26:25,240 --> 01:26:26,680
[All chattering]
1619
01:26:26,680 --> 01:26:28,400
No, no. You know what?
1620
01:26:28,440 --> 01:26:29,800
Come on, come on.
Get out of my house.
1621
01:26:29,840 --> 01:26:31,160
I'll just take this.
1622
01:26:31,160 --> 01:26:32,880
Bye.
1623
01:26:32,920 --> 01:26:34,400
-Later, stud.
-See you later.
1624
01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:37,000
Thanks for the fish, Matt.
1625
01:26:37,040 --> 01:26:39,040
Looking good. How long
are you going to be in there?
1626
01:26:39,080 --> 01:26:40,440
-Let's go.
-Hey, I'm going.
1627
01:26:40,440 --> 01:26:42,280
Chris, I'm going to call you
tomorrow, all right?
1628
01:26:42,320 --> 01:26:43,440
-What are you doing?
-You, too.
1629
01:26:43,480 --> 01:26:45,360
-I don't have my keys on me.
-Good.
1630
01:26:45,400 --> 01:26:46,760
Wait, this is my house, dude.
1631
01:26:46,800 --> 01:26:49,560
Not for the next
twenty four hours, it's not.
1632
01:26:49,600 --> 01:26:52,520
And you all should be
ashamed of yourselves.
1633
01:26:52,560 --> 01:26:54,360
You're kidding.
Don't have sex on my bed.
1634
01:26:54,360 --> 01:26:57,480
He can't last in there
another 24 hours. He'll die.
1635
01:26:57,520 --> 01:26:59,560
How much you want to bet?
1636
01:26:59,600 --> 01:27:03,240
How much do I want to bet
that he'll actually die?
1637
01:27:03,280 --> 01:27:05,840
-I'll put ten bucks on it.
-Another ten.
1638
01:27:05,880 --> 01:27:07,160
I don't have a life.
1639
01:27:07,360 --> 01:27:09,840
// "A IittIe"
"sexuaI frustration" //
1640
01:27:09,880 --> 01:27:12,920
// "Combined with"
"Iack of motivation" //
1641
01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:15,760
// "And a Ioss"
"of concentration" //
1642
01:27:15,800 --> 01:27:19,400
// "I got a strange disease" //
1643
01:27:19,440 --> 01:27:21,120
// "Two weeks ago" //
1644
01:27:21,160 --> 01:27:24,360
// "You said"
"you'd never Ieave me" //
1645
01:27:24,400 --> 01:27:26,680
// "And here I am aIone" //
1646
01:27:26,720 --> 01:27:30,200
// "And in this worId"
"of reckIess happenstance" //
1647
01:27:30,240 --> 01:27:33,160
// "Why do good things"
"have to go away" //
1648
01:27:33,200 --> 01:27:35,760
// "And Ieave you with nothing" //
1649
01:27:35,800 --> 01:27:37,840
// "Yeah,"
"you Ieft me with nothing" //
1650
01:27:37,880 --> 01:27:40,880
// "Ah ah ah ah" //
1651
01:27:40,920 --> 01:27:42,840
// "Ah" //
1652
01:27:42,880 --> 01:27:45,480
// "A strange disease" //
1653
01:27:45,520 --> 01:27:48,400
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1654
01:27:48,440 --> 01:27:51,480
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1655
01:27:51,480 --> 01:27:54,120
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1656
01:27:54,160 --> 01:27:57,120
// "OveremotionaI sensations" //
1657
01:27:57,160 --> 01:28:00,080
// "Sit by your"
"teIevision stations" //
1658
01:28:00,120 --> 01:28:03,160
// "And unaffected"
"by Iocations" //
1659
01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:06,200
// "I got a strange disease" //
1660
01:28:06,240 --> 01:28:09,080
// "I can't seem"
"to get to sIeep" //
1661
01:28:09,120 --> 01:28:12,120
// "I don't want"
"nothing to eat" //
1662
01:28:12,160 --> 01:28:14,840
// "WaIking up and down"
"your street" //
1663
01:28:14,880 --> 01:28:18,320
// "I got a strange disease" //
1664
01:28:18,360 --> 01:28:20,600
// "Why did you have" //
1665
01:28:20,600 --> 01:28:23,520
// "To put"
"so much pressure on me?" //
1666
01:28:23,560 --> 01:28:26,000
// "You pushed my heart away" //
1667
01:28:26,040 --> 01:28:29,360
// "I didn't mean to scare you,"
"IittIe one" //
1668
01:28:29,400 --> 01:28:32,320
// "Is there nothing"
"I can say?" //
1669
01:28:32,360 --> 01:28:35,000
// "Don't Ieave me"
"with nothing" //
1670
01:28:35,000 --> 01:28:37,040
// "Yeah, you Ieft me"
"with nothing" //
1671
01:28:37,080 --> 01:28:40,080
// "Ah ah ah ah" //
1672
01:28:40,120 --> 01:28:41,960
// "Ah" //
1673
01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:44,600
// "And a strange disease" //
1674
01:28:44,600 --> 01:28:47,560
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1675
01:28:47,600 --> 01:28:50,560
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1676
01:28:50,600 --> 01:28:53,160
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1677
01:29:05,560 --> 01:29:08,360
// "Now I'm standing"
"in the rain" //
1678
01:29:08,400 --> 01:29:11,280
// "Water's soaking"
"through my brain" //
1679
01:29:11,320 --> 01:29:14,200
// "Every dropIet"
"speaks your name" //
1680
01:29:14,240 --> 01:29:17,400
// "And it's driving me insane" //
1681
01:29:17,400 --> 01:29:20,560
// "I don't want to go to work,"
"my Iibido's gone berserk" //
1682
01:29:20,600 --> 01:29:21,880
// "I don't want"
"nothing to eat" //
1683
01:29:21,920 --> 01:29:23,320
// "WaIkin'up and down"
"your street" //
1684
01:29:23,320 --> 01:29:25,400
// "But onIy two weeks ago" //
1685
01:29:25,440 --> 01:29:28,600
// "You said"
"you'd never Ieave me" //
1686
01:29:28,600 --> 01:29:31,080
// "Now here I am aIone" //
1687
01:29:31,120 --> 01:29:34,480
// "And in this worId"
"of reckIess happenstance" //
1688
01:29:34,520 --> 01:29:37,480
// "Why do good things"
"have to go away" //
1689
01:29:37,520 --> 01:29:39,920
// "And Ieave you"
"with nothing" //
1690
01:29:39,960 --> 01:29:42,200
// "Yeah,"
"you Ieft me with nothing" //
1691
01:29:42,200 --> 01:29:45,120
// "Ah ah ah ah" //
1692
01:29:45,160 --> 01:29:47,120
// "Ah" //
1693
01:29:47,160 --> 01:29:49,840
// "A strange disease" //
1694
01:29:49,880 --> 01:29:52,720
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1695
01:29:52,760 --> 01:29:55,760
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1696
01:29:55,800 --> 01:29:58,640
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1697
01:29:58,680 --> 01:30:01,680
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1698
01:30:01,720 --> 01:30:04,600
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1699
01:30:04,640 --> 01:30:07,680
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1700
01:30:07,720 --> 01:30:09,560
// "Wee-ooh, wee-ooh" //
1701
01:30:10,305 --> 01:30:16,470
Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/48f4p
Help other users to choose the best subtitles120628
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof