All language subtitles for 101.Reykjavik.2000.DVDRip.XviD.Skullptura

Who's that? You know her?

We've been to bed together.

What is she like?

Want me to give you the condom?
- Come on, man.

Why don't you try her yourself then?
- Sure, whatever.

You look tense. Almost like
you're on a live broadcast.

No, this is more like a re-run.
Thristur's reviewing last night.

Can I buy you a drink?
Or would you rather have the money?

Fuck off.

My name is Hlynur Bj�rn
Hafsteinsson.

I was born on a Saturday.

Today is Saturday.

Life is one week.
I drop dead each weekend.

I'll be dead after I die...

and I was dead before I was born.

Life is a break from death.

Hlynur here.
I'm probably home right now...

so please talk to me
after the beep, I'm listening.

Hlynur.
Hlynur Bj�rn.

I need to talk to you.

Pick up the phone.

I know you're there.

You fucking bastard.

Why don't they show any
porn in the morning?

It's easier to get the rest up
once your dick's up and about.

Maybe you'd wake up earlier,
at least before it gets dark...

just to brighten up
your day a little.

I wonder what sort of a child I was.

Was I funny or just plain idiot?

I've never had much luck
with the opposite sex.

Maybe I'm just
sexually retarded.

You're up early.

I bought you some underpants.
- What? Yeah.

My mother works
at the Purchasing Institute.

My mother is a
purchasing institute too.

Aren't they nice?

It's a bit stuffy in here, dear.
Don't you think so?

Well, aren't you going
to read it?

What?
- The letter.

You already have,
haven't you?

They've probably
found a job for you.

Great.

Get dressed.

What?

Get dressed.

A friend of mine is coming to dinner.
- What friend?

Lola Milagros.

Who?

she's from spain.

Is it something to do
with your Flamenco lessons?

There's no need for that.
Ugh, that's disgusting.

When are you going
to grow up?

sorry, I know it isn't
any of my business.

Is she here already?
so early?

I take after my mum as much
as my dad gives me the chance.

He's big and brawny,
I'm little and scrawny.

Like an embryo.

My face is just a sort of frame
around my glasses.

What?

Is this a Christmas present?
- No, a Christmas tree.

Are you going to use a cactus
for a Christmas tree?

Don't you think it'll look
great with lights on?

sort of like Ben Kingsley
with white tinsel hair.

Is this the latest thing?
- Just a touch of originality.

We're only doing it for Thrir.

Imagine, his first Christmas
in the land of ice.

It'll give him
a back-to-the-desert feeling.

Jesus, it's roasting in here.
- He can't take anything under 422C.

Thrir?
Come here, boy.

There, there.

Where did you get that thing?
- The cactus?

What's his name?

Marri's brother-in-law.
The immigrant at the flea market.

What a thing to say.
He's lived here for ages.

He's still an immigrant.

Fancy letting him fuck your sister.
- shut up.

What's the matter with you, dickhead?

Get in the back.

Ever thought of buying snow tyres?
- Not worth it.

Are you mad?
These are original vintage.

What are you pushing
and shoving for?

Recovered from your chlamydia,
have you?

The pub, my second home.

35 square metres
crammed to bursting point...

so crowded and noisy you don't
even need to talk or dance.

Saturday nights are
Friday nights, part ll.

Everyone is talking about last night,
like it's a sequel.

Except that everyone who died
in part I dies again in part II.

You don't go to bed with a girl and
run out as soon as she falls asleep.

I couldn't sleep.

Why not?

I can't sleep with girls.

Can't you sleep with girls?
What do you mean?

I can sleep with them, maybe,
but I can't wake up with them.

so you just come and go
as you please?

Well, I didn't actually come.
- Hlynur, please.

What are you on, anyway?
- Disability benefit.

I knew there was something
wrong with you.

Yeah, 75 percent disabled.

Is that why you're so lousy in bed?

Hofy lives alone
in a three-room apartment...

and dreams of filling up the other two.

Well...

that's another weekend over.

Why do you keep that picture
of him on the wall?

Of your dad?
- Yeah.

so you can pretend he's dead?
- What a dreadful thing to say.

People don't get their photos
hung on the wall...

unless they re newly born,
newly confirmed or dead.

Don't talk like that.

Your father is a part of my life...

and we did have some
good times together.

some good drinks together, more like.

You ought to see more of him.
- I saw him last night, actually.

Oh really?

Was he...?
- He was great.

Really?

Yeah, he was in top form.

That's nice to hear.

There's something
I've been meaning to tell you.

Lola is going to stay with us
for Christmas.

I'd hate to think of her
alone in a hotel room.

Won't it be nice to have some
company over the holidays?

Is that all right with you?
And she can have my room...

when I nip up north to see your
aunt sigrun for the New Year.

Okay. Just as long as she
brings plenty to smoke.

There will be no hash
here this Christmas.

Just to make that clear.

My God, it's about
time we quit.

The Coal Yard flea market.

The only serious art museum
in Reykjavik.

Here you can find Iceland's
greatest cultural treasures.

Have you got any new videos?

Animal videos?
- Yeah.

That depends.
- What have you got?

Well, there's this pig,
quite big and fat.

And a dog that joins in
towards the end.

A bit mangy though, mind you.

But the pig is great...

a star performance.

Mmmm smells good.
How much?

For you a special price:
3,500. Just for you.

Don't you have anything
with Rudolph the reindeer?

What? Rudolph?
No, afraid not.

Or turkeys? I'm looking for
something a bit Christmassy.

Thristur. Come on.

I bet Thristur's buying
that for Thrir.

He's been a bit lonely of late...

hasn't slithered over a female
recently.

Marri.
Nice to see you.

Hello, amigo.

How you've grown.

What can I do for you?
- We want a Christmas tree.

Are you together?
I'll show you a fine tree.

This is an eco-friendly
Christmas tree.

You can use it over and over again.

No mess with the green stuff
on your floor.

You don't have to
vacuum clean all the time.

I mean, look, just plug it in
and no problem.

How much?

It's 5,500.
- 4,000?

You could have it for 5,000.
- I've only got 4,000.

5,000.
- 4,000.

I'll let you have it for 4,500, okay?

But don't tell my wife
or she'll beat me up.

Okay?
- Okay.

Do you know why Marlboro cigarettes
have white filters in America...

but yellow filters in Europe?
- No.

so Keith Richard can tell
which continent he's in.

Yes?

Hello.

Hello.

Is Hlynur in?

Hlynur, it's for you.

Well, Merry Christmas.

Yeah, thanks.

Christmas Day is the most
difficult day of the year...

the annual family dinner
at my sister Elsa's place.

Hlynur, dear.
Don't be so glum.

I always get depressed
when I go into the country.

But this is only a suburb.
- Exactly.

Do it for me.
Cheer up.

This isn't a funeral.

Family dinner or a funeral.
I'd rather go to a funeral.

At least there's
one idiot less then.

Lit up like Las Vegas.

Elsa, Hlynur's here.

Hi. Nice to see you.
Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Hlynur.

You're wearing mums glasses.
- Yeah.

Nice jumper.
- Isn't it? A present from his girlfriend.

No, has he got a girlfriend?
- Yes.

Great to see you, Hlynur dear.

so, how is everybody?

Oh, you know, can't complain.

What was it like
at your place last night?

We had it very cosy.

No, I mean the weather.

The wind really got up here yesterday.
- Really?

Well, it was very calm where we are.

Real barbecue weather, Hlynur said.

Really?
He said that?

Out barbecuing yesterday,
were we, Hlynur?

The Christmas dinner?

Yeah.

Do you get much snow up there
at this time of the year?

I'd say it's a bit more
than you get down here.

Yes.

But we ve been quite lucky this winter.

Have you now?
- Yes.

And getting that Landcruiser
makes a world of difference.

Are these cups new?
- We bought them in Glasgow last year.

Lovely.
- And they were quite cheap, really.

Considering the quality.

More coffee, anyone?

Are you okay, Hlynur?
- What?

You're very quiet.
Are you alright?

Yeah, fine.
I was just thinking...

about the sofa.
How much did it cost?

How much did the sofa cost?

God, I can't remember.
Can you, Magnus?

Like to buy it, would you, Hlynur?

Yeah. This is what I call
a super sofa.

Comfortable to sit on.

Is there enough room for it
in your mum's house?

Have you seen the video of
last year's Christmas dinner?

No.
- Dad, you haven't seen it.

No, I don't think so.

Yes. I went for one of those
new Toyota's.

It's made a world of difference.

I bet it has.

A world of difference.

A world of difference.

Hlynur?

Give me a hand, will you?

Thank you, dear.

Kiss your mother, dear.

Give my regards to sigrun
and Grandma, wherever she lives.

It's called Hvammstangi.

Cut it out, Thristur.

Hello.
- Hello, you're looking nice.

Thanks.
Have you seen Hlynur?

How much do you want for it?
- What do you mean?

What do you want for your look?
- Are you trying to pick me up?

What?

Are you trying or not?

What do you think?

Thristur.

Hello.

Thanks for the Christmas present.

Eh?
- Thanks for the Christmas present.

Oh, it was nothing.

Have you seen Lola?

Lola?
Who's that?

she's a friend... a sort of
friend of my mother's.

Are you having a night out with
a friend of your mother's?

You could say that.
- You're totally out of it.

What's the matter with you?

You're hopeless.

Reykjavik is like some
backwater in Siberia.

Swirling snow in the dark,
not a bird to be seen.

Endless weather that
makes you wither...

biting your cheeks,
spraying frost in your eyes.

Even the ghosts are bored here.

Lola isn't home yet.
I don't like it.

She's trying to make me miss her.

She's trying to make me
become obsessed with her.

She's the type
you can never trust.

Happy New Year.
- same to you.

You must be Hlynur's sister.

Cheers.
- Cheers.

Great New Year's hat.

What are you doing here?
- Fuck you too.

Cut it out.

Hofy, let's dance.

Take it easy, you arsehole.

Hlynur, don't go yet.
The party's just starting.

There's loads more people on the way.

I'm just popping out,
I'll be right back.

I need to talk to you about...
- What?

It doesn't matter.

What?

Nothing.
- Okay.

Hey, Hlynur...

Have you heard about Thrir?
- No, what is it?

He's a she.

Okay, great.

Thrir's a lady.
should we make him correct?

Make him erect?
- Make him correct.

Make him correct?
Yeah.

Call him Thora?
- Yeah, great.

Hlynur, about Hofy...
- I'll see you later, I must go.

Thristur.

Hello?
- Hi.

I thought you'd be asleep.
Happy New Year.

Yeah, happy New Year.

Did you all have a good time
last night?

Yeah, yeah, it was fine.

Did you go to a party?

What? A party, yeah.

So how was it?
- It was great.

And did you take Lola?

What? Oh, to the party?
Yeah.

And how were things
with you?

Nice and quiet.

We went to the bonfire
and visited your granny.

She doesn't go out any more.

We watched the satire
programme with her...

but she didn't get half of it.
It went right over her head.

I thought it was hilarious.
Did you watch it?

Yeah, but it wasn't as funny
in this part of the country.

Oh, really?
- No.

Well, yes.
Lola laughed a bit.

Did she?

Is Lola with you?
- What?

I think she's asleep.

Okay, then.

Give my regards to her and
I'll see you tomorrow night.

Okay.
- Bye, dear. Everyone says hello.

Bye.

She was almost possessed.

Was that what being bisexual is like?

Was that the man in her?

Compared to her,
that trance she was in...

I was just a sperm donor.

Maybe sex wasn't meant for men.

Hlynur?

Yes.
- Take a seat, dear.

We need to have a little talk.

Are you sure that's necessary?

Yes, I think it is.

Lola and I have been
talking things over.

And?

I think we both know
what I'm talking about.

We do, don't we?
- Yes, we do.

so we might as well
be honest with each other.

Well, if you insist, but I can
assure you I had...

I'm sorry, Hlynur,
but this isn't easy for me.

And you know how people talk.

Who?

Hlynur, dear...

I'm in love with Lola.
- What?

I thought...

You're in love with Lola?
- Yes.

How do you feel about that?
- That you're in love with Lola?

About you being a lesbian?

That's what they call it.

I don't know.

Does that mean that
the two of us can never...?

I mean, if that's what you are,
then that's what you are.

That's just...

cool.

Cool?

Yes.

You don't find it strange?

It maybe took you a bit long
to reach that position.

The right one, I mean.

I know.

Besides, it's all a matter of taste.

No big deal. Just a question
of knowing what you want.

Oh, that's so nice to hear.

Thank you, Hlynur.

It's no problem.

Really.

You don't know what
a relief this is to me.

Okay.

By the way.

There's another letter for you
from the unemployment office.

Why don't you go
and pay a call on them?

So my mother and I have our
fingers in the same pie.

Of course it can
happen to anyone...

accidentally fucking
someone in the family.

What am I supposed
to call Lola now?

Stepfather?

Hlynur Bj�rn Hafsteinsson?
- Yes.

Are you Hlynur?

Yes, rather.
- Yes.

Well, you never know
for sure, do you?

And you haven't found
anything to do yet?

No.

Well, yes.
- Oh?

I did my mother's girlfriend.
- Pardon?

I slept with my mother's
girlfriend on New Year's Eve.

My mother was away in Hvammstangi.

But it was an accident
and it won't happen again...

so it's definitely not
a job with a future.

We were both drunk.
What do you think?

Do you think I should tell her about it?
- Who?

My mother. Do you think
I should tell her about it?

I don't know. But there was no
need to tell me about it.

so you've no views on
adultery within the family?

Do you realise we sent you
five letters this last month?

Are you married?

I mean, imagine
you're married, okay?

You haven't exactly been very
cooperative, now, have you?

Imagine you're remarried, then.

You've remarried and your
daughter is having it off...

with her stepfather.
How do you think you'd take it?

Just sign here, please.

Hey, what do you think you're doing?
- Filling up the meter, it had run out.

Is this your car too?
- No.

so why are you
filling up the meter?

You have to think about
other people sometimes too.

Hlynur?

Hlynur.
- Right away. There's a lunatic here.

I have to talk to you.
- Here I am.

Are you the owner of this vehicle?
- That's none of your business.

You can't do that.

Can't I?
- No you can't.

You mean it's illegal to pay
for somebody else's meter?

It's just highly irregular.

Can we go somewhere?
I can't talk about it here.

sounds serious.
- It is.

so you're saying it's prohibited?
- Not prohibited, but highly irregular.

Do you get a commission?
- No.

You get a kick out of fining people?
- Hlynur.

I'm just trying to do my job.

I can never talk properly with you.
- I know.

Am I ruining your work for you?

Yes. By doing this
you make me unnecessary.

You mean unemployed.
- Okay, if you really want it...

I'm pregnant.
- And if I don't want it?

What?
- Pregnant?

Yes.
- Who's the father?

Who do you think?
- Me? How?

Three guesses.

Would you mind
coming alone with me, please?

Me? Why? I used a condom.
- Don't make any trouble.

Come with me.
- I don't understand.

Mother's taken the day off.
Is that in the wage contract?

Out of the closet
earns you one day off?

Hofy called earlier.

I told her you were asleep.

You'd call back
when you wake up.

she's P�ll's daughter, isn't she?
What's his name, the dentist.

sorry, but what stage
have you reached?

What stage? You make it sound
like a disease.

You act like I've got leprosy.
If it matters to you, six weeks.

And what do you plan to do?
- Have the baby.

No question?
- None.

But, I mean, you know...
- Hlynur. I'm going to have...

this baby on the 22nd
of August, no matter what.

I just hope the baby's
not busy on that day.

You're not funny, Hlynur.

I know, this is a serious matter.

Are you sure I'm the...
- Yes.

No doubt about it?

No.

Hello.
- Hello.

I take it you're Hlynur then?

About time I saw your face.
Can we give you a lift?

No thanks, it's good
to get some exercise.

Have dinner with us some time, so we
can get to know each other better?

That would be nice... some time.
- How about tomorrow?

Tomorrow? Well...
- Okay then, Thursday.

Be ready at seven o clock.
I'll pick you up.

My heaviest sentence yet.
Dinner at the posh villa.

I'll never go to bed
with a woman again.

Well, I'm sorry to keep You waiting.

Snobville measured
in square meters of parquet...

the kitchen aroma
of roasted pork-ette.

Batteries buzzing
in pace-makered hearts.

A golden retriever
barking in a basket...

and the freezers
full of life after death.

All paid for by the poor public
squandering money on sweets.

"I used a CONDOM"

I should feel calm. Our bedtime
games are over for good.

I don't like people, at least, not live.
Not one on one.

Congratulations. I hear your mum
is finally out of the closet.

Please don't talk to me.

Hlynur.

Hi, Hlynur babe.
Congratulations.

I hear your mum's
finally out of the closet.

Good for her.

Actually, I was the one
who nudged her out.

Really? so you were
in the closet too then?

What did that feel like?
- What did what feel like?

sharing the closet
with your own mother?

Let me know
when you'll be coming out.

stop this.

Mother?

Hlynur. What are you trying to do?

Don't act like this.

You'll get used to it.
- You'll need the room.

He can keep my Tin-Tin comics.

I'll get my computer later.
Meanwhile he can surf the Net.

You can call me if he wants
to check out the porn sites.

Hlynur.

Are you ashamed of me?

No, that's not the problem.

It's just me.

Hlynur?

Do you know the best cure
for premature ejaculation?

Just picture your mum.
I swear, it works every time.

Though I'm not so sure
about your mother.

The boozer-loser-blues
piss-up pick-up place.

Old meat served on every table.

Recycled jawbones kissing,
pickled bollocks...

in pussy juice.
Everybody's had everybody.

It's like the waiting room
at the VD clinic.

Everybody locked up
in the same DNA chain.

Abortions floating
between the tables.

This place is haunted
by unborn children.

It's like the family reunion
of a non-existent family.

Hlynur.

suck harder.

You'll pay for that.

Piss off.

You fucking son of a dyke.

Nobody treats my sister like that.

Hello?

Who is it?

Hofy, hi.

Hlynur?
- Yeah.

Everything fine?

Fine?

Had the baby?

No.

Abortion?

Yes.

Without even telling me?

Should I have done that?

I don't know.

Maybe I'd have
thought things over.

If it'll make you feel any better,
it wasn't your baby.

Oh?

No.

What do you mean it wasn't my baby?

I've had nothing but your womb
on my brain for half a year...

and it turns out
it wasn't even my baby.

How can you be
so sure about everything?

Hello?
Are you still there?

Hofy?

Hey, taxpayer got a cigarette?

You call this a cigarette?

It's the only thing I've got
so early in the morning.

It's okay, just keep on at it.
- What do you think you're doing?

Would you mind leaving?
Now.

Why?
- Can't you see what we're doing?

What are you doing?
- Jesus Christ.

I can't go on,
get him out of here.

Do you mind if I smoke?

If you're going to stay
you can at least shut up.

This is great material
for a documentary.

The Icelandic Intercourse.

Would you call this typical
Icelandic intercourse?

Creep.
- Just ignore him.

I mean, really.
This is great stuff.

"Children of Nature".

It could be a series.

Mating habits around the globe.

How do the Danes do it?

Do all blacks have big ones
and all Japs little ones?

How do Muslim women come?
Or do they come at all?

The Jewish blow job?
Hasn't anyone studied it?

This is really great material.
Comparative sexology.

Fuck.
That's it.

You get out this minute,
you fucking pervert.

Get out, you filthy bastard.
What do you think you are?

We can't even have a fuck in
peace because of you. Get out.

Nice tattoo.
- shut up and get out. Now.

Hey, you live here, don't you?

Would you mind helping me
get this creep out of here?

He just barged in on us
and started watching us...

like some kind of a pervert.
What's your game anyway?

Do you think we re putting on
some kind of sex show here?

It was no action-packed performance.
- Oh, really?

You could at least have tried
a few more positions.

What? You were doing it
in my bed?

Not me.
- Not me.

Oli.
- Yes.

so...

were you together for long?
- since the summer.

summer.

That makes... seven months.

7 divided by 2 makes 3.5.

What score did you get?

I can't believe it. Oli.

And imagine, in my bed.

Yeah.

I don't know if it's any comfort...

but they weren't particularly good.

A pretty boring number, really.

And I thought I was in love with him.

Yeah.

He looked like a nice guy.

Nice earring.

Yes, it's lovely, isn't it?
I gave it to him.

Yeah? Where did you get it?
- Florida.

Florida? Orlando?

Tampa.

sorry.

That's all right.

I handle cases like this all the time.

Human relations and...

crying women.

You're special.

Our little boy, all of ours.

Lola will be his mum
and my mum will be his dad.

And I'll be his brother
but his father too.

And the son of his dad
and of his grandmother...

and his mother's ex-lover.

How will he turn out himself?

Hlynur.

What a mess you look.

He's in there with Lola.
Come and have a look.

Isn't she tired?
shouldn't I come back later?

No. Come on.

Come on.
Don't be shy.

Hold him.

The worst thing about AlDS
as a method of suicide...

is that it takes so long
to die from it.

Hello. Welcome.

There they are...

my mother the lesbian,
and my father the boozer.

What am I then? The offspring
of a lesbian and a boozer?

It's like two birds
of different species.

The lesbian bird and the boozer bird.

The boozer is a wetland bird;
he's rather heavy...

and needs a good run-up
to get off the ground.

He can fly for a long time
and has good stamina.

Several weeks may pass by before
he gets back on the ground.

In between he lies low
and goes on the defensive.

Especially for the first days
after landing.

The lesbian:
Unlike the boozer...

the lesbian is a relative
newcomer to Icelandic nature.

She is thought to have migrated
from Denmark and Britain.

Her only contact with the male bird...

is during conception.
In recent years we have witnessed...

cases of male birds
who are unable to fly at all.

The offspring of a boozer
and a lesbian is the Hlynur...

an unusually slow developer
that can't fly...

and remains with his mother
for the first 30 years.

The Hlynur is defensive
by nature, but harmless.

May Lord protect you
from this moment on, forever.

Accept the sign of the holy cross...

on your forehead and your chest...

in testimony that
your mind and your heart...

will be devoted to belief
in the crucifixion...

and resurrection of our Lord,
Jesus Christ.

What is the child's name?

Kristinn Milagros.
- Kristinn Milagros...

I baptise you in the name
of the Father...

the Son...

and the Holy Ghost.
Amen.

"Mum, forgive me.
If a dead man can miss someone...

then I promise that I'll miss you".

"Ps. I'M THE FATHER"

It's no longer
a question of either / or.

Darkness or light...

right or wrong...

good or evil.

Everything is right AND wrong.

Everything is good AND evil.

Everything just is.

Did you hear that?
He said daddy.

Did you say daddy?

Bye, darling.

See you later.