All language subtitles for (2009)EvilBongIIKingBong.ING

(suspenseful music)

What are you doing?

Checking you out for a wire.

I can assure you, I am
not a narcotics officer.

I'm here to answer your ad.

I dunno.

Why didn't you say so?

Large bong for sale.

Recently deceased owner
claims it was possessed.

There's one thing this pot is lacking.

It's a giggle fucking bong maybe.

Here you are.

It's the item you've been waiting for.

This is the best investment
I've made in my life.

Does my bong look different?

It's the bong man, it's evil.

I say let's fire this thing up.

What the fuck are you doing here, old man?

I'll teach you some
respect, you insolent little

cocksucker.

Amy, can I get a hand dear?

[Voiceover] Hocus, Pocus.

[Voiceover] Here you are.

[Voiceover] How do we stop it?

[Bearded man] I don't
think he can't be stopped.

The guy that sold it to me said
it had some brutal curse on

it or something.

I thought he was just
trying to make a sale,

but it killed all my friends
man, and it almost got me.

Well, got all my brain cells.

(suspenseful music)

(chainsaw)

[Voiceover] Motherfucker,
you going down.

(crazy laughter)

Put this in your pipe, evil bitch.

(time bomb sound)

(loud screaming)

(reggae music)

♫ No no no no no

♫ No no no oh oh

♫ In the morning, in the night
when I don't feel so right

♫ Up through the misty haze
the green will rise and up my

♫ taste cloudy smoke to clear
my mind, just a puff to help

♫ unwind everywhere I go I
take it, oh it's like I can't

♫ escape it

♫ Only thing I need

♫ Only thing I need

♫ Mean green wicked weed

♫ Help me from the devil seed
fiending for it every day

♫ Know I want that Mary Jane

♫ Mean green wicked weed

♫ You got a hold of me
fiending for it every day

♫ Know I want that Mary Jane

♫ Life's a fire, spark the
dream make it a part of me

♫ Think of all the light of
green just growing from those

♫ Little seeds I need my smoke today

♫ Worked too hard get home
late I just need a break

♫ Oh one more toke that I can take

♫ Only thing I need only
thing I need what's that

♫ Mean green wicked weed

♫ Help me from the devil seed
fiending for it every day

♫ Know I want that Mary Jane

♫ Mean green wicked weed

♫ You got a hold of me
fiending for it every day

♫ Know I want that Mary Jane

♫ Mean green wicked weed

♫ Help me from the devil seed
fiending for it every day

♫ Know I want that Mary Jane

♫ Mean green wicked weed
help me from the devil seed

♫ Fiending for it every day

♫ Know I want that Mary Jane

♫ Mean green wicked weed
you got a hold of me

♫ Fiending for it every day
know I want that Mary Jane

♫ Sit back reminiscing

♫ First time I heard you laugh

♫ First day I clasp my fingers reminiscing

♫ First time I go to class my fingers snap

(loud knocking)

♫ Face man know where
you are original self

♫ First time I get knowledge of self

♫ Is the day I really started
taking care of my health

Yeah.

[Allister] Larnell, it's Allister.

You called me Driver.

Allister, I almost didn't recognize you.

Been kinda out of it bro.

More so than usual?

Hang on a sec, checking out for popo.

Come on in, quick.

So, Larnell, it's been a while.

You look well.

Be straight with me, bro.

Our friendship's gotta be on
that level of honesty or it's

nothing at all.

Bro's gotta be straight with each other.

Give me some knocks.

Booya.

Well in all candor, you
seem a little haggard...

Haggard?

You don't even know the half of it.

I haven't slept in days.

Have your studies been keeping you up?

Studies, no man I dropped
out, actually I was kicked out...

What?

I'm actually on the
run, I set fire to the

administration's building...

You what?

Yeah man, that place was a
corrupt institution, they all

are, colleges and universities,
schools of higher learning,

total donkey dick bro.

They're all in league with the
government trying to control

our minds and make us all think alike.

Check this out.

I got all the research on it right here.

I'm thinking of writing a
book on it, be a fucking

bestseller too, just
like the Picasso Code.

Anyways, I had to get out of
there man, and you should do

the same.

You don't wanna be brainwashed
into thinking like all the

other sheep out there.

Save the brain, you know.

I think my brain is fine.

It's my nose that's in distress.

Larnell, it smells like
somebody died in here.

Oh, I should have warned you about that.

I dropped an A-bomb in the can
earlier, anchovy pizza's not

sitting too good with me.

Gross.

Sorry.

You want some?

How can you smoke that, I
mean after everything that

happened?

Dude, it wasn't the
weed, it was the bong.

That evil fucking bong, Al.

Right.

Larnell, why exactly
did you want to see me?

Over the phone, you mentioned
something about Bachman.

Are you two still brewing together?

Yeah, he's at work right now.

He's got a job?

Good that he's taking responsibility.

Slave to the machine, a
fucking corporate chill.

Never thought I'd see the day.

Is that what you wanted
to talk to me about?

Bachman, conforming to the status quo?

No man, it's worse than that.

I think he's got something wrong with him.

Is he not feeling well?

I don't know, it's weird,
one minute he just...

What are you doing home already?

I thought you weren't off until five.

Well that was the plan, dude.

But today I got fired.

What, why?

I don't know, that's the mystery.

One minute I'm working the
fryer, next thing I know,

I'm unemployed again.

What happened to the uniform?

Some kid blew chunks on me today.

It was the double avocado burger
with cheese and fried eggs

very unfortunate.

Thank you.

Gnarly, is that why you got the can?

I told you, I don't know man.

Total mystery.

Al, my favorite geek dude.

Hi Bachman.

Come here, come on.

Man hug come on.

Come on, guy.

How are you?

(shrieking loudly)

You look good.

Good to see you too, Bachman,
but a simple handshake would

have sufficed.

So what's up, you still
doing the college thing?

Certainly am, going
after my second major.

That sounds terrible.

What happened to the first
one, did you lose it or

something?

(sneering loudly)

Lose it, now I get it.

Get what?

Nothing.

Look Bachman, Larnell called
me over here and he said,

"maybe you weren't feeling too well."

Ring a bell?

Nah, nah.

I feel splendid, actually.

Listen Bach, he's talking
about that problem you've been

having...

What problem?

Dude, the one that's been
fucking you up for the past

week.

I'm not recalling.

Is it amnesia, is that the problem?

That's only part of it.

Homies, look only problem
I'm having is getting canned

from Sloppy Burger today, and
to be honest with you, it's

not really that big of a problem.

Shit, my god what's wrong with him?

Sometimes I can catch him
before he hits ground Al.

(suspenseful music)

He seems fast asleep, is
this what you were telling me

about?

Totally man, the Bach just
keems crashing for no reason.

Like one minute, he's having
some chow or getting freaky at

a club, next he just drops
out, totally out of it.

He told me it happened once,
when he was in the middle of

banging some fat chick,
with a super-hairy cooter.

Eloquent as usual, Larnell.

Dude I'm just upset, Bach
keeps crashing for no reason.

Probably why he got fired
from Sloppy Burger today.

Started snoring when he was
grilling burgers and fell asleep

or something, doesn't remember
anything when he wakes up

neither.

I always gotta fill him in
on what's being going on.

Well it sounds like he's narcoleptic.

Narcs?

Dude, we don't mention
narco in this house.

Larnell, narcolepsy is a
medical condition characterized

by a sudden uncontrollable
desire for sleep.

He needs to be taken to a doctor.

Forget that, no doctors...

Why not?

Bunch of quacks, all of 'em.

They're all in league with
the pharmaceutical companies,

pushing pills on us we don't
need and keeping weed off the

shelves, dicks.

But Bachman needs help.

That's why I called you...

No, I mean professional help.

Man, doctors, hospitals,
they wouldn't be able to do

anything.

Yeah, I can?

I mean I'm qualified...

Just zip it for a second,
okay Bachman's not the only one.

Have you been narcoleptic too?

No man, not me, it's something else.

We'll talk about me later.

You've seen Bret lately?

I heard he was playing
baseball, somewhere down South

wasn't it, a minor league team?

Not anymore man, just
wait until you see him.

Why?

What's going on?

(thrilling music)

Just get my back now.

Just get the door.

Could be five o.

Who is it?

[Bret] Who the fuck you
think it is cocknocker.

You're the dipshit that called me.

Hey, hey, hey.

What's up B, sorry man you're
bigger than last time I saw

you, ginormous.

Oh yeah, whatever, but
Lou Ann's parking the car.

She had to drive me here, my
gut won't fit underneath the

steering wheel.

Bummer, come on.

Bunny.

It's okay.

I know, you don't have to
say anything, I'm hideous.

It's not that Bret, just
didn't expect it is all.

Okay, okay, I know he's a fat ass,

just go ahead and say it.

Hey Lou-Ann, you sure know
how to make a guy feel good.

A ray of sunshine as always.

I seriously cannot be
seen in public with him.

No when he's with that.

Seriously, what will people think of me?

I don't know, maybe they'll
think you're his caring

girlfriend, who loved him no
matter what he looked like.

Dude, are you fucking kidding me?

He is like a fat-assed flabby whale, okay?

He should have Greenpeace
boats circling around him.

Thanks a lot, appreciate that.

Dude, what reeks in here?

You don't wanna know.

Oh my god, Larnell, you are such a slob.

Hey Lou-Ann, shut up,
let's talk to the fellows.

Don't you tell me to shut up
or you can just roll your fat

ass home.

Who tricked me to getting preg, vamoose.

Sorry about that guys.

Thanks for coming over Al.

Bach told me he's been a player.

Oh my gosh, Bret, what happened?

I mean it hasn't been that
long since I've seen you.

Certainly not long enough for that.

I don't know what it is man.

I can't stop eating.

Oh, don't.

Oh shit, is that Bachman?

Yeah, don't mind him, catch
you up to speed later man.

You guys thinking about eating this?

Yeah, in the kitchen.

Would you watch it, you got my nail.

Oh my god, pizza.

How old is this?

I don't know, a few days.

Look at those anchovies.

Go for it.

What's the green stuff?

Probably mold man, it's
been sitting a while.

I can work with that.

Why don't you just go and
eat some garbage while you're

at it?

I don't understand Bret,
you used to be the picture of

health, you were an athlete.

No shit, now I'm so fat I
can't even see my own dick.

(shrieks loudly)

Monkey.

Bachman bro, yeah.

What's up dude?

What's up bro?

Do I know you?

Dude it's me, Bret.

Holy shit, jumbo the hut.

Look at your man-boobs.

You started to fondle
my shirt, you hock-knock.

Oh how did that happen?

Remember, Bachman you were
at work and the kid with the

avocado burger.

Oh yeah, some kid blew
chunks at me today at work.

I was singing a sloppy burger
song, sloppy sloopy burger

they make it full of slop,
sloppy sloppy burger.

Shit.

Dude what the hell
happened to that idiot?

Dude bounced off my gut.

Thanks for being there
to break his fall, man.

Now what's his problem bro,
he been used to get crack,

he got baked but not like this.

Wait a minute, Bachman has
narcolepsy, he's always sleepy.

Bret can't stop eating,
he's always hungry.

I've got the constant munchies dude.

Exaggerated side effects of smoking pot.

How long has Bachman been
exhibiting these symptoms?

I don't know couple of
weeks, something like that.

And how about you, Bret?

How long have you been eating like that?

About the same, maybe a little bit less.

You put on all that weight
in less than two weeks?

Shit's not cool.

Bachman and Bret, they
were two of the first to be

affected by the bong, along
with Larnell, who doesn't seem

to be...

Get off me, get off
me, you fucking freak.

Dude what the hell's your fucking problem?

Lou-Ann, I didn't mean to.

Sometimes I can't control my sexual urges.

Urges?

Dude you were fucking dry-humping
her like a little German

Shepherd Chihuahua combo.

I didn't mean it, you
know Lou-Ann's not my type.

My type, what, are you a homo-alien?

Now what exactly is going on, Larnell?

Dude it's what I was trying to tell you.

My sexual urges make me
pounce like a fucking cougar.

Lowered inhibitions
is another side effect.

How long has it been going on?

Couple weeks, but I
think it's getting worse.

Oh that's so gross.

Wait, don't you see, the
three of you were the first to

smoke from the bong.

Somehow you're having
delayed side effects,

exaggerated side effects.

Well how do we stop it?

It's a good question.

You smoked from the bong too, Al?

Yeah, not until later.

I mean my side effects won't
present themselves until later.

Dude hello, I smoked from the
bong at the same time as the

fatso over there did.

Hey fat.

She's right, this affliction
seems to be somewhat

selective in its victims.

It's the bong, bro.

She's the one doing this fucking
shit to us, we gotta stop

it.

Little self-control, Larnell, please.

Fuck you dude, I'm gonna cum.

Do you want me to fucking cum?

I'm gonna cum.

Something's fucking with my head, bro.

Me too, man.

This shit's gonna get
worse if we don't stop it.

Yeah, before the rest
of us are affected.

That's why I called you, dude.

You're the smartest guy I know.

But I can't do anything
without more information.

We need to find somebody who
can tell us more about the bong

and it's history.

Like who, Jimbo's dead.

What about the shipping service?

The one who delivered the bong to you?

I don't suppose you
still have the receipt?

There's a method to this madness.

I know everything is in this
place, I'm like a fucking

packrat.

Dude I seriously worry
about the rat parts.

Check this out, there.

I'll have to make some calls...

Whatever you need to do, man.

This may take a while, I guess
if I put in some efforts...

Sorry, I can't come
to the party tonight.

I have to take Shamoo back to Sea World.

Fuck you, you wanna go to a party?

Go to a party, I don't
need your fucking sympathy.

Fine, why don't you just go
have your little idiots give

you a ride home?

Vamoose, have a good time
sticking your finger down a

throat garden salad.

Reassurance, how's my hair?

How's my nails?

Let's get down to business.

(upbeat music)

Yes, thank you.

♫ It's good for cheek and good for chong

♫ Motherfucker

That was the delivery service,
they had to match up the

receipt number...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, cut to it
straight Al, you find the guy

or not?

Yes, it turns out he's on
a delivery not too far from

here.

I had to pretend we had a
package for pickup just to get

them to send him over.

Devious man, I'm proud of you.

I have to admit, duplicity
gave me somewhat of a charge.

I hate that vegetarian shit.

Man, I'm starving, you guys
got anything to eat in this

dump?

Hey, when do you get here?

Don't you remember?

Dude, this stuff's getting worse.

Me too, man, I've
never been so starving.

Yo, fatboy, what's up man, you are huge.

I know, we talked about this already.

Ah, queer.

I didn't see your ass from space.

(loud knocking)

Oh, that must be the delivery guy.

Let me see.

Are you sure?

Who else would it be?

Hey bro you never know.

The Feds might be sending
guys after me cuz of that book

I'm gonna write.

They don't want me to
expose their secrets.

Oh for the love of
twinkies, open up the door.

I'll make sure.

You guys got a pickup?

Well actually you see I do.

Hang on Al.

Who sent you?

Who didn't send me?

Who didn't send you, what do you mean?

No not what who?

That's what I'm asking.

I know you're asking what,
you wanna know who sent me?

If who sent you, dude
what are you talking about?

I'm not talking about what,
you're the one that keeps

bringing it up.

When?

Yes.

Yes what?

No, yes when that's who sent me.

What?

No when?

Would you two cockknockers
shut the fuck up?

It's like a comedian
routine, those old guys.

Yeah, Abbott and Costello.

Who?

Nothing.

Listen, Mr. Delivery Man, Mr...

Call me Rabbit.

Okay, very well then, Mr. Rabbit...

No just rabbit.

Okay.

Look, sometime ago you
delivered a package to us.

Although we were living in a
different apartment near the

university at that time...

If you say so.

Look inside the package
was something very unique.

Dude in the box was
a bong, an evil bong.

I remember that bong.

You do?

Yeah, I had to wait for the
lady to pack it up before I

delivered it to you guys.

She told me stories about it.

What stories?

I might remember a little
better if you were to share some

of that herbal essence.

Herbal...

He's talking about the ganja, bro.

Give me the light bro, hit this.

Right.

She was divorcing her husband.

That would be Jimbo.

Yeah, that was his name.

She said he bought that bong
in South America when he was in

the Peace Corps in the 60s.

When he brought it back, it
killed half his friends before

he locked it away in the attic.

Fuck.

She told me stories man,
seared into my brain...

And you delivered it to us
without telling us about it

first?

I was just happy to get that
son-of-a-bitch off my truck.

Okay, listen Rabbit, I don't
suppose you recall the lady

mentioning where Jimbo got
the bong, I mean where in

South America?

I remember.

I remember.

These bugs are bigger than rats.

Do these dingleberries
know where we are?

Maybe we took a wrong turn in the river.

Dude, we took a wrong turn in Pomona.

This was the dumbest idea.

No it wasn't.

Look in order to cure
your afflictions, we need to

research the bong's origins,
we need to find where Jimbo

bought the bong.

In order to do that, we need
to find where he was serving in

the Peace Corps in the 60s.

It's around here somewhere,
and you remembered right...

I remembered right.

Hey, why did we bring the
delivery dude for again?

Hey, I got a $200 a week
job I have to get up at 5am

for, what am I missing out
on, plus trip to Amazon on

somebody else's dime
sounded like a good idea.

Yeah, on my dime.

On my credit card, to be exact.

By the way, thanks for that Al.

I'm gonna get you back.

Thanks buddy.

Yeah, I'm sure you will.

You've seen plenty of monkey's
since we've been out here B

so what?

No dude, monkey like in bad shit.

Dude there's more of them.

(loud screaming)

Wait.

It's a hut.

Let's bounce guys with all
these skulls, cannibals are

living here.

They like to snack on stupid white dudes.

The chance of any cannibals
living in this region is

remote at best.

At least, I hope it's remote.

They'll tie us up and roast us alive.

Then they'll cut up the top
of our skulls and scoop our

brains out while we're still cooking.

That's a delicacy that they do.

Great, I could go for some of that.

Dude, you're ill.

Look, I guarantee those
skulls are a warning to scare

cannibals away, not an
indication that any cannibals

actually live here.

If you're so sure,
why don't you go knock?

Yeah.

Any of you guys coming with me?

Hell no.

I don't wanna get eaten bro.

Just look at it this way, Al.

Some of those cannibals might
be getting smarter by eating

your brains.

You'd be doing them a favor.

It's a good life, bro.

It's a good life.

Better you than me.

Thanks a lot, guys.

(loud screaming)

Cannibal chick.

Who are you guys and what do you want?

My name is Allister,
and we're from California.

We seem to be a bit lost, Ms...

Velicity.

Velicity.

Could you maybe...

Sorry about that.

We have to be careful around here.

Who's we?

My father and I.

Well my dad passed away a few months ago.

His partner and I are continuing
his scientific research.

The skulls are meant to
scare away the locals.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to intrude, but we could

certainly use some guidance...

Oh wait, and eat,

if you have anything.

I suppose it's alright
if you come in for a while.

My partner's out gathering
samples, he won't be back until

later.

Bach.

Bach.

Is he okay?

It's a long story.

Oh man, this shit is good.

What is this?

Grub stew, took me a long
time to cook get the taste.

Tummers.

What you guys told me is fascinating.

Well, it's kinda hard for us
to see it that way when we're

living it.

So he can't stop eating.

This one's a narcoleptic.

And you...

Knock it off, perv.

Sorry dude, my toad's on fire.

Listen Velicity, you mind if I call you V?

Not at all.

Sorry about that V, I can't help myself.

So I gathered, a lowering
of sexual inhibition.

Fascinating.

And you guys think thid has
something to do with this

strange bong you told me about?

Yes we do.

An evil bong, that's
what it was, fucking evil.

Is it just me, or do you smell weed?

I was going to mention that,
but my nose isn't quite as

attuned to the fragrance as all of yours...

Why don't you tell me
about this evil bong?

You think it came from this area?

Perhaps.

This would have been 40 years ago.

I understand the chances of
us finding any traces of its

origin are slim, but
seems our only recourse.

I maybe able to tell you more
about it if I could see it.

You said it was destroyed?

Fucking eh.

Any pictures of it?

Not that I'm aware of.

Larnell?

Might be able to do one better.

Look at this.

See.

Incredible.

Larnell, you didn't tell
me there was any of it left.

Why did you bring 'em, in
custom we had enough problems as

it is.

Thought they might come in handy.

This is truly remarkable.

What do you make of it?

I've never seen anything like it.

Not personally, I've read
about it in obscure science

journals but I never thought
there was any truth to it.

Any truth to what?

If I'm right, this appears
to be the workmanship of an

ancient tribe rumored to have
lived in this vicinity eons

ago and no one's ever laid
eyes on them, so that's why the

veracity of this story is in
question but I've often heard

them whispered about in the
marketplace, you know villagers

tell their kids stories
around the campfire at night.

Stories about who?

Yes, who is this mysterious tribe?

The Poontang tribe.

(laugh loudly)

Poontang.

Good one, yes, let's go there.

I realize this may sound
ridiculous, but I didn't make it

up, the name's been
around for generations.

Maybe somebody's putting
you on, like the villagers

putting one over on the white
American girl, you know what I

mean?

Unbelievable.

You guys wanna stick around
and listen to this horse dukey?

The Poontang tribe is not a joke.

Okay whatever.

We believe in the Poontang.

This, cannibal chick.

When did I chip my tooth?

Here Bachman, have some water.

(laughing loudly)

Okay.

What's so funny?

Is this stuffy.

Dude, you're falling off the water.

(laughs loudly)

Maybe it's just the Poontang.

We gotta stop this shit.

I need to cure quick.

I think I just might be able
to help you guys after all.

Just give me a few hours.

(upbeat music)

Hey you don't believe all
that talk about Poontang

tribe, do you?

Don't say Poontang.

I'm hoping some exercise
will take my mind off this

perpetual boner.

I got a purple vein popping through.

Hey, you alright?

Shooting pain.

Three three.

I wouldn't mind running into
some native women right now.

I could use some exercise.

Wow, look at this.

I told you I smell weed.

Look at this, the mother of.

This is some major herbiage.

This is gonna pay for my
trip back and then some.

Good bye, delivery service.

We could go to Amsterdam.

Unfucking believable.

Holy shit, grandpa.

I travelled halfway around
the world and I still can't

shake you.

You're like a genital wart.

You know this dude?

Yeah, it's my grandpa C.

But dude where's the wheelchair?

You haven't walked since I was a kid.

Yeah, well, things change obviously.

Now what the hell are you
doing here you worthless little

douchebag?

Dude, no love, where's the hug?

Don't mess with me,
you little cocksucker.

Now answer my question.

You still haven't told
me how come you're walking.

That's on a need-to-know,
and you certainly don't need to

know.

Now, what the fuck are you doing here?

Well if that's the way you're
gonna play it, then that's

on a need-to-know too.

What you need to know sonny
boy, is that if your incy

wincy teeny little penis was
a warm on a hook, it wouldn't

feed a goddamn guppie.

Hey how about I leave you
two to your little love fest

here?

Stop, put it back.

Hey, sorry.

Put it back.

I didn't know it belonged to anybody.

You expect me to believe
that load of horseshit?

You're as brain-dead as
this micro-dick moron here.

Calm it down, gramps.

Chill out man.

Why don't you try some
of your stash and chill?

Gramps, what are you
doing with all this weed?

This weed, as you refer to
it, is the culmination of years

of intensive and deep study and research.

Study, huh?

Hey, you and I have got the
same ideas about learning?

(laughing loudly)

How dare you mock me,
you miserable little creep?

How dare I?

Are you for real man?

Wait a minute, research?

So you're working with Velicity.

You know each other?

Velicity.

Larnell, Cyril.

What's going on out here?

This turd is my grandson.

Now where do you know
him from, young lady?

Well he and his friends
came here looking for help.

Friends?

Don't tell me he's brought
those bunch of morons with him.

They're in the hut.

Useless, useless as a
disease-infected juxtap, all of them

them.

I told you, we can't have intruders.

This land still belongs to
my father, so I have a say who

comes here.

Yeah well, alright, but
I want them out of here by

sundown.

He's your grandfather?

Loving, ain't he?

You two need Dr. Phil
to the rescue, big time.

(upbeat music)

It's a very special type
of marijuana, grows only here

deep in the jungle.

My father's been researching
it for years, and I took a

leave from medical school to assist him.

Cyril knew my dad from college,
and after dad passed away a

few months ago, Cyril agreed
to help us finance it.

I could not have continued
the research without him.

Research my ass.

That stuff's packaged to move.

Old Cyril is going into business.

That stuff is worth
millions on the street.

I assure you that is not the case.

My research is legitimate.

Then why keep it secret?

What do you mean?

Earlier, when we said
we smelt marijuana,

you changed the subject.

Yes, I'm not ready
for the world to know.

The value of the drug is
high on the black market.

Its potential value as a
medicinal tool is infinite.

You mean people smoking it
for glaucoma, trying to cope

with pain and stuff.

Much more powerful than that.

How do you think your grandfather
is able to walk again?

No shit.

I believe this drug has
curative powers that could

vanquish almost any ailment.

Even cancer, I'm convinced of it.

Herpes?

Cure for cancer?

Woah.

You know, I'm kinda ailing
right now, I could probably use

some of that weed.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

I felt you three would be
the perfect candidates for a

controlled test.

But with Cyril so worked up
right now, he won't let us

anywhere near it.

Well, this is your lucky day, sister.

Dude, you sneak.

Monkey.

(loud laughter)

They don't call me the
delivery man for nothing, I'm a

professional.

Look the pieces of the bong.

[Voiceover] Oh, I
know that smell anyway.

That smells like home, but I
haven't been home for years.

Dude, I think I'm
tweaking, I'm hearing shit.

No man, we're all hearing it.

[Voiceover] Wait a
minute, what happened to me?

I'm all busted up.

Astounding.

Seems that her proximity to
the marijuana has brought her

back to life.

Dude, it's super weed.

[Voiceover] This shit is wack.

When I thought I'd fuck me
up, I'm gonna fuck them up.

Fucking guess who needs
to shut the fuck up.

We need to get her, it
away from the marijuana.

Allow me.

[Voiceover] Ah, get your
hands off me, or I'll throw down

on your ass.

Hey guys, that thing maybe
worth more than the weed.

What are you talking about?

Think about it, we put
the talking bong on TV.

Letterman, The Tonight Show, sitcoms.

Awesome.

Yeah, we could get the guy from
Friends and him and the bong

move into an apartment, and
he's really neat but the bong's

messy.

He's always having to
clean up after it, awesome.

Are you nuts, the last thing
we want is for that thing to

be alive again?

And trust me, we'd
have to kill it, again.

First things first, knockers.

Who got these gamepicks?

Let's medicate.

Are you guys up for it?

Fucking A.

Also I got to lose 300 pounds.

I'm in.

♫ How much we could just smoke in a day

♫ Do joint and joint
for you that's the way

♫ How much we could just smoke in a day

♫ All alone

♫ Could you smoke 10 feet
and eat once or twice

♫ All alone

♫ Could you burn dozen
sticks of blueberry tide

♫ All alone

Bros, this is some pretty strong shit.

♫ Could you blaze ten pounds
of green sticky bondage

♫ All alone

Give me some of that.

It's for medicinal purposes
Rabbit not recreational.

Well thinking about medicine
and I, I've got a little

itchy throat.

Rabbit, we're trying to
conduct a controlled experiment.

Do you mind, I wanna show
this to Cyril and see what he

makes of it.

I wouldn't if I were
you, dude can't be trusted.

I think you are overreacting.

Not at all V, my etches
sketch got ganked when I was 6.

I knew it was gramps, but just
couldn't prove it, fucker.

I admit he can be a bit
of a handful, but he made a

promise to my father to always
treat me as an equal partner

not go against my wishes.

Well if you say so, he
seems to like you at least.

Hey sorry about all this,
you know if we caused you any

problems.

On the contrary, it's nice
to have a little excitement

around here for a change.

Thanks Velicity.

Dude, you two would be good together.

Why do you say that?

Cuz you two are brainiacs.

I have to say that her
intelligence makes her all the more

alluring, but it's not me
she seems attracted to.

It's you.

Get out and dodge.

Seriously.

I might not know much about
women, but I have read that it

is the male upon whom the
affection is showered who is often

the least aware of the attention.

Dude, I don't think I
know what you just said.

It's clear to me, as an outside
observer, that Velicity is

attracted to you.

Dumb nuts, she's giving
you the total fuck-me-eyes.

What would she want with
a skateboard humper like me?

The mysteries of the female
are myriad and complex.

Dude, help me get him up.

You're gonna be okay man?

Ah dude you gave me a
black eye with your boner.

Sorry bro.

Like V's gonna fall for
a guy with constant wood.

Hey man more importantly
than that, the super weed's not

working man.

Bach keeps crashing, I'm a
whale, and you're a walking

Viagra addict.

You guys have to give it more time.

These symptoms won't
vanish instantaneously.

Look, why don't you guys
just lie down, get some sleep

like Bachman?

Yeah, what do you say?

I'll take care of that for you.

Stoner.

(birds calling)

That's not enough.

Not nearly enough.

That buyer of yours is gonna
have to do a lot better than

that.

I don't want any of your
excuses, you little fuck.

This is the score of a lifetime.

I'm not gonna throw it away for peanuts.

God damn it, fool.

[Voiceover] Oh, I smell
it again, I know I do.

That's the good stuff.

Who's that?

Cyril.

Oh Velicity, my dear, I
thought I heard a strange voice.

[Voiceover] You watch
who you're calling strange,

motherfucker.

What's that?

It's nothing.

You lied to me, Cyril.

What do you mean?

About the marijuana?

What about it?

[Voiceover] She's talking
about the ganja, the primo

stuff.

My sweet, sweet weed.

What's going on?

I heard you on the phone.

Rabbit was right, you are gonna
sell it on the black market.

Listen to me Velicity.

I quit my schooling to come down here.

My father knew his research
would improve medicine around

the world, and you promised
you understood that.

Don't be so naive girl.

Do you imagine that when the
big drug companies find out

about this marijuana, that
you're gonna stand any chance

to lay any claim to it?

They'd squeeze you out of
the equation as quick as they

could, as if you'd never even existed.

I don't care about that, as
long as the drug helps save

lives.

Your poor bleeding heart,
well I suppose you're a doctor

so you have to care.

But I'm not a doctor, I'm a
capitalist and I don't give

two shits about saving lives.

All I wanna do is to sell this
stuff for as much as I can

so I can get myself out of
this goddamn stinking armpit of

the world.

[Voiceover] Hey, you
better watch your tongue.

This armpit used to be my crib.

What have you got there?

Where did you get this?

Larnell and his friends brought it.

Are those morons still around?

I thought I told you to get rid of them.

Larnell warned me not to trust you.

Don't listen to that
brain-dead abortion.

What you need to do is to put
him and his rebel on the first

boat of here, preferably
one with a slow leak.

They need my help.

This is fantastic, it reminds
me of those ancient ruins

that your father showed me once.

It's the work of the Poontang tribe.

[Voiceover] I don't want
to hear nothing about those

bitches, they stole my man from me.

What makes it speak?

[Voiceover] Did you just call me an it?

I'm not an it, motherfucker,
I'm 100%, Grade A female.

I think it's the marijuana.

[Voiceover] You're damn
right, it's the marijuana sugar.

I need me another taste of that.

Go back to the hut, Velicity.

We can talk later.

Don't be surprised if I'm
not there when you get back.

But be sure to take those
dipshit, thunder heads with you.

You're wonderful, worth
your weight in gold, I bet.

[Voiceover] You mean
so bad yourself honey?

Now did I hear you right?

You're really gonna sell
this stuff on the street huh?

Well, perhaps.

[Voiceover] Well, I know
something about the street.

First things first, I'll tell
you how to use them with that

sweet weed to put me back together.

Then you and me are gonna
rule the world, whiskers.

Whoa whoa yeah.

(upbeat music)

(slow sentimental music)

I told you guys that was
packaged to move, it's worth

millions on the street.

Not now, Rabbit.

Can't you see Velicity is upset?

Oh, sorry.

I'm just saying maybe old
Cyril was on to something.

Especially, if he cut
you in on the action.

It was supposed to be used for medicine.

I was gonna cure cancer.

You don't know if that weed's
gonna work on those three,

why don't you wait and see if
it cures a blubber belly and

a perpetual boner before you
start thinking about wiping out

the big C.

You know Rabbit, I really
don't think you're qualified to

judge the medicinal merit...

No wait.

He makes a good point.

Crude but valid.

I mean your friends here are
case studies number one, two

and three and as a scientist,
it behooves me to wait for

their results before
looking into the future.

Hopefully, it won't be much longer,

Well, it behooves me to stretch my legs.

I'll see you guys later.

How long have you known him?

Not long, why?

It's nothing, never mind.

I really hope they'll be alright.

(bellowing laughter)

[Voiceover] Now that's
what I'm talking about.

How do you feel?

[Voiceover] How do I look
baby, like a million bucks?

You ever seen such a bootylicious
brick house in all your

life?

I don't think so.

Amazing.

I'd say that's some super-weed you got.

You again?

What do you want now
you creepness fuck-hole?

Hey, I could ask you the
same thing, except maybe the

creeping part.

I gotta tell you, I don't think
it was a good idea putting

her back together.

Why not?

She's a killer.

[Voiceover] What sweet
little old me, a killer?

Now, why you got to go
and diss me like that?

She's off more victims
than Charlie Madison.

[Voiceover] Say what?

Just watch your back.

You're the one that
needs to watch his back.

[Voiceover] Yeah, what he said.

You guys won't hurt me.

Yeah, I grind assholes
like you up for breakfast.

Well not this asshole.

You can use me.

You?

Think about it, who's
gonna oversee your shipments,

your deliveries?

You, you don't want to get
your little rich-boy hands

all dirty, huh.

And she doesn't have any arms.

I suppose you might have a point there.

Now, all we gotta do
is negotiate my cut.

[Bret] That smells
good, I sure am hungry.

He's hungry, that's not a good sign.

Hey dish me up some of that, would you?

What?

I crinkled myself?

Bret, you're skinny again.

Holy shit, my blubber's gone.

Yeah.

Yo, chunky ass, you
lost all your cellulite.

Really?

I know.

Hey Bachman, how do you feel?

What's up bro?

Best I've felt in a while,
thank you for asking.

Hey, what's next doctor?

Turn my head and cough.

No, I'm not gonna put the
rubber glove on either, as much

as much as I think you might like it.

Shit.

What about you Larnell, how do you feel?

I think I feel okay.

I don't have the sudden urge
to hump the table or Bret's

armpit.

That's good.

Come over here guys,
why don't I dish you up?

Smell good.

So that's pretty much the
ballpark I had in mind, Cyril.

You must be stoned on some of that weed.

I wouldn't pay a floor manager
in one of my factories that

kind of money, and I certainly
wouldn't pay it to a shit-

licking loser like you.

[Voiceover] Don't let
him screw you my man.

Take it or leave it, asshole.

But keep in mind, if you don't
take it, when I get back to

civilization, I may drop a
dime on your little illegal

operation.

Oh, you're a pus
oozing cephalitic prick.

[Voiceover] He's a rascal.

Hey now Rascal, I like that.

I suppose if I'm gonna dip
my toe in this line of work,

I'm gonna have to get used
to working with sewage scum

like you.

You are a dapper man.

[Voiceover] You bitches best step off.

Who the hell are you calling a bitch?

She's not speaking to us, retard.

Amazing, it must be the Poontang tribe...

I'll say.

You don't understand, they've never been

any proof that they ever existed before.

No one's ever seen them before,
not since the stone age.

Looks like she wants the bong.

[Voiceover] You keep her
away from me, you hear?

Those bitches stole my man.

Don't let 'em take the
weed, whatever you do.

Not so fast, you tribal twat.

Ladies, ladies, okay you don't have to.

[Voiceover] Back off,
you skanky jungle hoes.

Thanks for everything, V.

No thank you.

I'm really glad you assembled in here.

It finally gave me a chance
to test the medicinal

properties of the drug.

Glad I could be your guinea pig.

Almost hate to be taking off.

Who said you have to go so soon?

Al's got to get back to
school, Bret's got baseball and

Bachman's gotta sell
drugs to underage kids.

And you?

I'm kinda writing a book.

About what?

It's about the multi-level
conspiracy being perpetuated

in the public by-institutes of
higher learning, might sound

kinda dumb, don't know if
you're into that sort of thing?

On the contrary, I'm very interested.

Really?

Really.

Wish you'd stay and tell me about it.

Don't know if gramps
would like that too much.

Who cares really?

Fuck 'em.

God damn fuck holes.

Gramps.

Get him some water.

Right on it.

Gramps, what happened?

It was the Poontang tribe.

Dude's delirious.

They took the bong and the dumb shit...

Rabbit...

couldn't stop them.

Brutal.

They can't have gone far.

Go after them, you can take them down.

Find those bong-nabbing bitches.

[Voiceover] Oh baby, how you been?

You're as beautiful as ever.

[Voiceover] And you're as
ugly as ever motherfucker.

I hoped I'd seen the last of
you after the way you treated

me.

[Voiceover] Oh baby, don't be that way.

Give me a kiss and let's make up.

[Voiceover] You must be tripping.

I ain't gonna be smooching on
you after you've been hanging

around with those skanks.

[Voiceover] Skanks?

You must mean skankalicious.

Look at them, these are my
ladies, don't you be talking

bad about them.

Not at all, lady.

[Voiceover] I used to be your
lady, motherfucker, till you

got the taste of jungle poon.

[Voiceover] Now let's
talk about this baby.

[Voiceover] Talk to the hand, Jarvis.

This is some crazy shit.

You don't have to twist my arm.

[Voiceover] Twist that arm
down for him right there.

There, put that in your mouth.

Look at you sucking on it
like it's your cousin's tit.

That's right, put it in there.

Feels good, now how does
that taste, my brother?

Yeah, blow it out, blow it.

(crazy laughter)

Look at you rolling your eyes
in the back of your head like

that, like somebody just
fucked you up your ass.

I said it, fucked you up your ass.

Come on, that's good stuff ain't it.

[Voiceover] Up to your
old tricks again, I see.

[Voiceover] Well if anybody
here would know anything about

old tricks, it would be you.

(loud laughter)

Baby that's the way I roll,
boom shacka lacka bitch.

We have to rescue Rabbit.

Yeah, no are you kidding?

That sounds like a terrible
idea, it could be dangerous.

I say we get the hell out of here.

I'm gonna miss my
shift at Sloppy Burger.

Dude, you got fired last week, remember?

Shit.

We've gotta get Rabbit out of there.

How are we supposed to
find a whole jungle tribe?

A tribe with women.

Women with spears, you think
it would be the other way

around, Rabbit would come looking for us.

That's not the point, look
without Rabbit's help, none

of us would have gotten
here in the first place.

You'd still weigh 400 pounds,
you'd still be narcoleptic...

Narco...

and you would still be in
a state of constant arousal.

Come on guys, we owe this to Rabbit.

He's right.

Yeah, monkey.

I can't impress upon you
enough how dangerous the Poontang

tribe is reputed to be.

With a name like Poontang,
they're probably a bunch of

pussies.

Could be fun.

(upbeat music)

[Voiceover] Now where the
fuck these motherfuckers think

they're going.

Now just shut up, let me handle this shit.

Look.

Oh man, it's the evil fucking bong.

Who put her back together?

Well, it's good to see you two.

Welcome to the jungle mofo.

There's another one of them.

Glad you could take that
dick out of your ass so you

could see me.

It's amazing, it appears to
have been here for centuries.

[Voiceover] Oh I still got
it sugar, let me know if you

ever want a little taste of this.

This one can talk too,
just like the other one.

[Voiceover] Don't let him play you girl.

He ain't all he's talked up to be.

[Voiceover] I'm still on your lips.

Where's the delivery dude?

I don't see no jungle babes either.

Remember what happened to
us when we smoked out of that

one?

We went into the bong.

No, our spirits went it,
it wasn't until you guys were

killws in the bong world
that you guys actually died.

What if this one is more powerful?

And can transfer the
entire physical being?

Exactly.

You're saying that Rabbit
and the jungle babes were in

that thing, alive?

That's bogus.

[Voiceover] Cracker, who
the fuck you calling bogus?

I'm afraid our only chance
of rescuing Rabbit is to go in

after.

[Bret] What if we get trapped in there?

Think about this bro, if we
can get in physically, then

we can get out physically.

A wonderful bit of
deductive reasoning, Larnell.

I have my moments.

Wait a second, let's say
we go in and get Rabbit, then

what?

[Voiceover] You got
to destroy him, fool.

[Voiceover] You need to
watch your mouth girl, you hear

me?

You mean destroy this
bong, this king bong?

How do we do that?

[Voiceover] Now you say
something, I'll bust your ass,

you hear me?

[Voiceover] You got to
destroy his symbol of power.

[Voiceover] Now I got
to kill you, bitchsy.

Symbol of power.

Why you telling us this,
why help us destroy him?

[Voiceover] Because of
the way he done me wrong.

I used to be his one and only.

Now, he's got all those young
bitches in there, big boobs,

skinny ass bitches.

[Voiceover] Oh, big boobs, skinny.

You mean, you aren't
gonna try to stop us?

[Voiceover] Hell no, he
deserves whatever he gets.

[Voiceover] Now girlfriend
why you got to do me like that?

You love it?

[Voiceover] Hey I ain't
your girlfriend anymore

motherfucker, you're going down.

[Voiceover] I'm going down.

Question is, do we believe her?

What choice do we have?

Alright then, let's do this.

Let's burn this motherfucker.

Send Bachman first.

Come on B.

[Voiceover] Yeah, come
on B, put it in your mouth.

That's right suck on that, put
your hands up like you're in

a Kung-fu movie bitch,
cuz you're coming with me.

[Voiceover] Ho, ho, hocus pocus.

[Voiceover] Who gonna be next?

Bring your punk-ass up here.

Come on, suck it just like
you did in college with the

basketball team.

Now come on down here show
me how it's really done.

This is gonna be good.

(laughs loudly)

You bitches coming to play right now.

Now, it's gonna get fun.

Welcome to mi casa, mi brothers.

Go ahead, take your pick
of one of these ladies.

Oh yeah.

Hooker central, dude.

[Voiceover] That's right
the first one is on the house.

Take a look at them, you like it.

Who you looking at?

Oh Tokeka, yes that's the one.

You like her, don't you?

That's what I thought.

Go ahead and get yourself
some Tokeka bitch go on.

Walk up on it.

Touch her.

Not each other bitches, touch her.

Come on, touch it, make it feel good.

You can say bitch, that's a boob.

That's right, giggle like
you're a Mormon in church go on.

You're in temple now, you're
in my temple and things are

gonna get very interesting.

Come on now, come on now.

Hold like you're singing a
show tune that's right suck it.

Come on, you coming down?

Come on up, gotcha,
don't be scared step on.

Stupid ass, look at you.

Rabbit's happy.

Hello.

Release the twins.

Rabbit, you're still alive?

Yeah, what are you doing
here, of course I'm still alive.

We've gotta get you out of here.

Are you crazy, look at the babes.

Don't you see, their lubing
you up for the slaughter.

The only slaughter that's
going on is in my pants.

You know how many times I've been laid?

Look I don't have time to explain.

We've got to destroy that
king bong and get out of here.

Why aren't you listening...

Hi.

Step aside ma'am, I'm not a
man who's prone to violence and

I'm loathe to strike a woman
but in this case, I would not

rule out physical...

Hey now that was uncalled for.

Al, Kinky.

[Voiceover] Here we go, here
we go, we're gonna take it

right there, we're gonna
take it right there.

Take it right there,
Tokeka, watch over him girl.

That's right touch that booby
boob let him know how it

feels.

Bring it on down for him.

Lick it here, just jiggle it
cuz he don't know what to do

with it, most white folks
don't know what to do with it.

(loud laughter)

Look at his eyes rolling
in the back of his head,

girls throw it on him, throw it on him.

Oh yeah, come on Tokeka stop this mess.

Surprise little baby boys, look her down.

Dude we're tied up, awesome.

What?

Yo dick, we blew it, we're
supposed to come up here with a

can of whoopass on King
Bong and now look at us.

We were thinking with
our wieners again bro.

Never trust your wiener, damn it.

Hey guys.

Hey delivery dude.

Take it easy babe, I'm not
really into the pain thing.

Don't you get it Uncle Fester?

They're gonna kill you man.

That was what Al was trying to say.

But you're not gonna
really kill me, are you?

I mean no shit.

[Voiceover] No shit, pink dick.

Come on now.

Papa don't worry, it won't
hurt, not much anyway.

[Voiceover] You best
get in there, white boy.

I think your homies might be
in trouble, double trouble.

Maybe you should stay behind
in case something happens.

[Voiceover] Hurry up over here, boy.

I'm going in, baby.

[Voiceover] Now just
grab the pipe, come on.

I always feel like somebody's watching me.

And now you're gone.

[Voiceover] Good luck
you crazy sucker, you're

gonna need it.

Trippy stuff.

Al, wake up.

I will strike you.

Wait a minute.

Dude, it's me Larnell.

Oh my goodness.

I must have been knocked unconscious.

And it seems they've taken Rabbit.

Where'd they take him?

Unknown, but we better find
out before it's too late.

Come on.

What are they gonna do to me?

I can't take, I don't wanna take...

What if they cut my throat?

What if they cut my heart out?

Dude, you have got to calm down.

I can't take the pain.

What are they doing?

What is this?

[Voiceover] Come on
now ladies, roll it out.

Oh my goodness, let's put
some paper in them, what is it?

[Voiceover] Butcher paper,
butcher might not be the right

word to use right now though.

(laughs loudly)

God, they're twisting him up.

[Voiceover] Twist it good,
roll it tight like a lot of

spin on it.

Come on, get that in.

Come on y'all.

They turned him into a joint.

Lord, please I need your help here.

If you get me out of this, I
swear I'll stop smoking and

drinking and whoring.

Maybe not the whoring part.

[Voiceover] Right now you
gotta ask whether you're a

doobie or a don't be.

Look at the bong, man that
bong's got bling, remember.

We have to destroy its symbol of power.

The medallion, bro.

[Voiceover] Look at
me, looking all good.

I'm about to smoke some shit
up in this motherfucker.

Exactly.

[Rabbit] Help.

[Voiceover] Okay girls.

Oh, what happened to the delivery dude?

He's right there, on the floor.

[Voiceover] Come on now
girls, show 'em what you're

working with.

Help, I'm a fucking doobie.

He's tiny.

Sshh.

Help, help me.

I'm a fucking doobie.

Help.

[Voiceover] Okay girls,
bring him over here.

Help me, I'm a doobie.

[Voiceover] I'm gonna smoke
this little bitch alive.

Help me.

[Voiceover] I like
the way you roll baby.

Help me.

[Voiceover] That's what
I'm talking about right here.

Why you screaming punk ass?

Help me.

[Voiceover] Ain't
nobody gonna help you now.

He's gonna light me up.

[Voiceover] I'm gonna light your ass up.

I'm gonna take this in
in mouth half of what.

What you doing Priscilla,
Queen of the Desert?

Help me, I'm a fucking doobie.

Rabbit, are you alright?

I'm not Rabbit, I'm a doobie, help.

[Voiceover] Shut up.

What the hell is going on over here?

Wait a minute what is that.

You better give me my necklace
back, don't you touch that

necklace, you know how much
money I spent on that shit?

You better leave it boy.

Boy, I'm gonna whoop your
mucky ass, you understand me?

Don't you hit me again.

Please, don't hit me.

I'm gonna have to kill you.

No, someone help me he
gonna take all my power.

What the freak was that?

I believe we did it.

No shit.

Monkey.

Welcome back.

You think it's gone for good?

[Voiceover] He better be,
good riddance to bad rush.

Damn girl, that was something else.

That was one hell of a trip, dude.

Now what?

Guess it's time for us to go home.

I'm with the Professor Ciao.

Lead the way.

I think I'm gonna stick
around for a while guys,

I mean if it's okay V?

Yeah.

I could use some help
transporting marijuana back to the

States.

Those bigwigs at the
pharmaceutical companies won't know

what hit 'em.

Are you sure your grandfather
won't try to stop you?

If he does, I'll put
him back in a wheelchair.

[Voiceover] Oh nasty.

[Velicity] Bye.

I'm gonna try to catch
this before I get back.

See you later.

[Voiceover] Catch you
stateside my homies.

Good luck.

Take care Al.

Oh, no I don't think it
worked, you're getting excited

again.

That's all you baby, all you.

[Voiceover] That's what
I'm talking about, let's go.

Wait, where you guys going?

You leaving me here, by myself?

Wait a minute, don't
you walk away from me.

Don't leave me here, it's nasty out here.

Get me out of here.

(upbeat music)

I have to admit that
was quite an adventure.

One I care not to repeat.

It was monkey, no question about that.

So are you going to be keeping
the apartment until Larnell

returns?

You know I'd really
like to I really would.

I'm just happy I got my
job back at Sloppy Burger.

I know.

You know what I'm thinking,
probably by the time he'll be

back I've got a little responsibility.

Yes, taking the first step
is always the most difficult.

I'll get it.

Who are you lady?

Dude, monkey man, loser, it's me.

Dude where's Bret?

He'll be right out.

Hey Bret, Lou-Ann's here.

Hey Lou.

Bret, oh my god.

I could put my arms around you.

Not bad huh.

Oh my god, you are so hot.

You and I are gonna
have a little chat first.

Chat?

About the way you treated
me when I was a total fatass?

You were not very supportive
and you said some pretty nasty

shit.

Dude, I totally don't even
know how to deal with that kind

of stuff and I totally
didn't mean it at all.

Maybe so, I think you're
gonna have to make it up to me.

I'll do anything you
want, anything and anything.

Well, I got a few ideas.

(loud knocking)

Knocking must signify
the arrival of yet another

character.

Rabbit.

Yes indeed my friends, it's yours truly.

You're a preacher now?

Indeed I am.

After that experience down
in the heart of darkness,

it changed me.

I made a vow that if I made
it out alive, I would change

my ways.

So no more deliveries?

I'm only delivering souls
now brother, only souls.

Don't mind if I take some.

(credits)

[Voiceover] Hey where you going?

This motherfucker ain't over yet.

No, there's a whole another
story that need to be told.

What, you're asking who I am?

Bitch did you watch the goddamn movie?

I'm King Bong.

Now, she figured that shit out.

Sit your ass down and listen up.

I'm gonna tell you a little story.

You've got up with a strong
hell gnarl bitch, that evil ass

bitch Eve, the evil bong,
that's that bitch cunt coote

twat vagina juice having
hoy got shit to do with me.

That's alright, just don't
tell her I said that.

I ain't scared of that bitch, no.

Cuz I fuck up, she just
don't need to know,

cuz I worry about right now is you and me.

Sit your ass down and knock
off dresser and listen to what

I've got to say.

Oh that's the sound.

You like that sound don't you?

That's my heart beat.

My heart beat is fast for you,
cuz I need a lot of blood to

kick in.

Big ass, dick up.

Listen all that hard beating
blood flushing through the

veins.

That's old days.

God damn, look at the size of your mouth.

You're like a god damn
toothbrush commercial aren't you,

pull your head all the way,
god damn back it off, I'll fuck

the hell out of you.

That's right, where you put your finger?

Don't put your finger there.

Keep it right there.

Now wiggle it, just a little bit.

That's right.

Now know what that boy like.

Just the finger, I want
nothing else up his ass.

Your finger, baby your cute
little manicured finger.

You know what, that cave man
came out I don't need a second,

lick it, taste like candy don't it.

Alright, I'm through with you move over.

Wat's your name?

Oh, I like that,

Lolly, well Lolly I got some
that I need to pop bitch,

come on.

Wait a minute, hold on, whatch'ya doing?

Don't go there, go up there.

Put it all the way, yeah.

Bitch you got some talent I like that.

Now pull it out.

Smell like Oklahoma don't
it, you know what I'm talking

about?

Look at you I like the way you
rub it against your top lip,

yeah that's right come on rub it.

Yeah.

Drives you crazy, don't it?

Wait, who's that over there?

That's your friend.

I like that, that's my heart
beating, there's nothing better

than one or two or three or four.

Cuz when you got 12 bitch, you
could take 'em all alone, so

get your goddamn friends
in here and help me out.

Tokeka, lock the goddamn
door, we're about to have a

motherfucking party up in this bitch.

Alright every body, see that
over there, that's Tokeka.

That's the tittiest swinging
bitch I got, right there.

Everybody take your tops off
and swing your titties like

Tokeka.

Bounce them bitches up and down,

I wanna see aeriolas all over
the goddamn place, lick them

aeriolas 12 for a motherfucking
ass what I got there.

Here you go.

What's that smell?

Ah, that's vagina juice.