Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

I had no friends, no girls that hugged

me til I got radioactive ugly.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

I live in a dump cause the rent's real low.

Got a little pet Blobbie, and he loves me so.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

Now me and the boys fight against wrong, though we're

hideously deformed.

Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world.

With my mop, tutu, and girl.

Whoa!

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Things were pretty quiet in Tromaville,

so we Toxic Crusaders decided to pitch

in and do some community work.

We were helping to decorate the park for the upcoming

bicentennial bash.

By the way, Junkyard, what exactly is a bicentennial?

I think it's one of those bugs with 100 legs.

Negative.

Bicentennial-- it's got something to do with buffaloes.

Bicentennial means 200.

It's the 200th anniversary of when

Tromaville was first founded.

Oh, wow.

I never knew it was losted.

No, you dipstick.

Founded means when it was first started.

Oh, wow.

I never knew it was stopped.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): While we were busy decorating the park,

Dr. Killemoff was busy doing some decorating of his own.

This is humiliating.

We were hired to be bad guys, not bad house painters.

So far, you're getting more paint

on me than on the ceiling.

Ah, there's nothing like the smell of noxious paint

fumes in the morning.

You clods missed a spot on the ceiling.

Sorry, boss.

We'll take care of it right away.

Hey!

How am I supposed to get down from here?

How about falling?

[SCREAM]

WOMAN (ON INTERCOM): Hologram for Dr. Killemoff.

Hologram for Dr. Killemoff.

Why, Czar Zosta, forgive the mess, but we're

in the middle of redecorating.

Killemoff, I'm sick and tired of waiting

for you to toxify Tromaville.

I'm planning my own Tromaville invasion

with a hot air balloon.

KILLEMOFF: With Toxie's face on it?

It's to gain the people's confidence.

But actually it's filled with vile, choking, putrid fumes,

which will be released over the city

to make Tromaville more livable for the Smogulan population

that will follow.

An excellent idea, your bugship.

The hot air balloon will land this weekend at the heart

of Tromaville Park.

A terrible idea, your bugship.

What?

They're holding some sort of bicentennial celebration there.

Not to worry.

By the time we're through with them,

it will be a bye-bye-centennial.

[LAUGHTER]

You just make sure those Toxic Crusaders aren't

around to foil our scheme.

I must think of a way to get rid of those Toxic Crusaders

for the weekend.

But how?

[CRASH] Ah!

That's it!

What a brilliant idea.

Psycho, you're a genius.

I am?

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): We were back at the shack

resting up from a hard day of booth building and balloon

blowing when suddenly there was a loud knocking at the door.

[KNOCKING]

Hi there.

What can I do for you?

PSYCHO: I know you can't tell by looking at me,

but I happen to be a hideously deformed

creature of superhuman size and strength just like you.

It's always nice to meet a fellow mutant.

PSYCHO: I'm Tin Can Man, the result of an explosion

in a paint factory.

Hey, we all have our shaggy dog stories.

And you'll hear them all at our upcoming convention.

"Come to the once in a lifetime annual convention

of hideously deformed creatures of superhuman

size and strength!"

Games, contests, and lots of neat prices.

Three days and two nights at the elegant Weehawken Wilton.

Sorry, but we're busy this weekend.

It's Tromaville's bicentennial.

[GROAN]

Aw.

I've always dreamed of a weekend in Weehawken.

Me, too, Toxie.

Bicentennials come along every 200 years.

Who knows when there will be another hideously

deformed creature convention.

He's right.

He's right.

Think about it.

Well, OK.

We'll go to the convention.

Yes!

[CHEERS]

BONEHEAD: All right!

Way to go!

PSYCHO: It worked, boss.

Those stupid Toxic Crusaders are going

to Weehawken for the weekend.

Perfect.

My plan to allow the Smogulan hot air balloon to land

is working.

[LAUGHTER]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): This was a day for people knocking

on other people's doors.

Mayor Grody came to call on Mom.

So why is a big shot like you visiting a schlepa like me?

Is it election time?

No.

It's raising the rent time.

But I'm as poor as a church mouse.

There's no need to come up with the money right away.

[LAUGHTER]

Tomorrow will be fine.

How can I pay this humongous rent on my tiny pension?

It's times like this I wish my Toxie was a CPA.

I guess there's only one thing left to do.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Mom, spunky little spitfire

that she is, head straight for the Hire

and Fire Employment Agency.

Send in the next applicant, please.

I'm not fussy.

All I want is a simple little job that pays a lot of money

and has plenty of coffee breaks, a terrific parking

space, long lunch hours, and a major medical plan.

Oh, really?

So does the entire world.

You're a very sweet boy.

You won't forget to file my application now, huh?

[DOOR CLOSING]

Huh, right.

I'll file it under N for no way!

[LAUGHTER]

Excellent work, Killemoff.

It was brilliant the way you got the Toxic Crusaders

to leave town for the big hot air balloon arrival.

You're most kind, your buginess.

Killemoff, you deserve some help on this project.

What you need is an extra pair of hands.

I already have an extra pair of hands.

No, no, no, no.

I'm talking about a girl Friday-- someone

to handle the numerous, annoying details

of the upcoming invasion.

That's a splendid idea.

I'll find someone immediately.

Good.

I'll be bugging off now.

Hello?

Hire and Fire Employment Agency?

I'm looking for some office help.

The hours are terrible.

The salary is worse.

There are no lunches or coffee breaks,

and we have no parking or medical plan.

Oh, have I got a girl for you.

PSYCHO: Hey, boss, your new secretary's here.

Oh, I always wanted to work for a doctor in case

I got a paper cut.

To-- to-- Toxie's mom?

What are you doing here?

Oh, haven't you heard?

I'm your new girl Friday.

-Girl Friday? -OK.

Woman Friday.

Try Grandma Friday.

[KISSING SOUND]

You don't know how honored I am to have a woman

like yourself working for me.

Oh, yuck.

Enough with the kissing.

This is strictly business.

But of course.

Can you start immediately?

Oh, boy, you're some slave driver.

I'll tell you what.

I'll be back after my two hour lunch just

in time for my coffee break.

I can't believe it.

Toxie's mom working for me.

What an incredible stroke of good fortune.

Why's that, boss?

Don't you see?

Not only will I be able to keep tabs on the crusaders'

activities, but I hear she also cooks

a mean pot of chicken soup.

Yeah, boss, but what if--

Psycho!

Don't say it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): It was so exciting.

All we could think about was our upcoming trip,

except for Headbanger.

Talk about banging heads.

You're not planning on taking that hang glider, are you?

Most assuredly, dude.

Weehawken is the hang gliding capital of the world.

But I detest hang gliding.

It's dangerous.

What's the problem, man?

You want to live forever?

Not if it means sharing a body with you.

Wimpazoid.

Cretin.

Wuss.

That does it!

You're coming to my laboratory with me.

Whoa.

Like I got a choice, right?

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Then and there, Bender

decided to invent something that would

help solve his problems with Fender

and give this story a plot.

Right you are, Toxie's voiceover.

Behold my patent pending brain switcher.

Far out.

Like, what's it do, dude?

With any luck, I'll meet another horribly deformed

creature at the convention who's willing to switch

brains with you.

Way rad.

I hope he's a surfing kind of guy.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): I was trying to stuff Mop into a suitcase--

no sense paying extra fare-- when suddenly

Mom showed up at the dump.

Hello, sonny!

What's with the packing?

I've got the greatest news, Mom.

We Toxic Crusaders are going to a creature

convention in Weehawken.

That's nice, darling.

But my news is better than your news.

You're looking at Dr. Killemoff's

brand new executive assistant.

[WHISTLE]

I can't believe it.

My very own dear, sweet mom working for Killemoff?

That's Dr. Killemoff, darling.

But he's a bad guy.

He may be bad, but his money is good.

Oops.

Gotta run.

I don't want to be late for my first coffee break.

Ciao, sweetie pie.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): I hate to say it,

but Mom really organized Killemoff's life.

I told you before!

That's Dr. Killemoff.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Sorry, Mom.

Well, so what do you think?

I put all of your crimes in alphabetical order.

See?

Arson under A, bribery under B, and kleptomania

under C, because I wasn't sure how you spell it.

Toxie's mom, you're marvelous.

I don't know how I existed without your help.

[KISSING SOUND]

Oy vey.

I warned you before about that kissing.

You're right, of course.

I deserved that.

The woman is phenomenal.

In one day, she's put this entire office in order.

I don't know about this, boss.

What if hiring Toxie's mom causes

you to get zapped by a ray from one of Bender's inventions

that turns her into you and makes you lose your mind?

Lose my mind?

Have you lost your mind?

Now go back to doing whatever it is you do around here.

I'm worried, Bonehead.

With Toxie's mom taking over like this,

you and me could get the heave-ho.

[GASP]

You're right, Psycho.

We gotta do something to protect our jobs.

But what?

I know.

We'll get the boss some inside info on the Toxic Crusaders.

You and me are going to the toxic dump

and dig up some dirt.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): It was the perfect time for Psycho

and Bonehead to sneak into the dump,

because we were all over at Yvonne's house

where she invited us for a bologna

and balloon blowing party.

Great idea, huh?

Free bologna sandwiches just for blowing up some balloons.

My trouble is I always get the two of them mixed up.

[POP]

See what I mean?

Yvonne, come back!

Stand aside, Toxie.

My mulch gun will take care of this.

[POP]

Please, Yvonne, you've got to stop blowing up balloons.

I can't help myself.

It's like potato chips.

It's hard to stop after just one.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Meanwhile at the toxic dump,

Bonehead and Psycho were sniffing

around like a couple of rats.

Hey.

Look at that.

What do you suppose it is?

PSYCHO: I don't know, but it's sure got a lot

of buttons and dials on it.

Let's take it to Dr. Killemoff.

It might help score us a few points.

Hm, I wonder what it does.

Let's try it and find out.

No!

Wait!

Don't!

Boss, are you OK?

A few aches and pains, but at my age, what can you expect?

Now sit, and I'll bring you a nice cup of tea.

Or maybe you'd like to have some fruit, too.

What's going on here?

I don't know, but I think it's got something

to do with this gizmo.

Why are you two amoeba brains just standing around?

We've got an invasion to plan.

Now move it!

Whatever you say, Toxie's mom.

Are you two blind?

I'm Dr. Killemoff.

And don't you forget it.

Whatever you say, Dr. Killemoff.

Now, now.

Remember your blood pressure.

Here.

This nice cup of hot tea will relax you.

Thank, you, Toxie's mom.

At least someone around here hasn't lost their mind.

I don't know what this thing does,

but we gotta get rid of it before it

does it to you and me.

Here goes.

BONEHEAD: Goodbye to bad rubbish.

Will you two imbeciles hurry and finish

painting this office?

After the Smogulan invasion, there'll

be lots of picture taking.

You're right, Toxie's mom-- I mean, Dr. Killemoff.

I mean-- I don't know what I mean!

Oy!

Paint fumes.

They make me nauseous.

If anyone wants me, I'll be at home watching Oprah.

You said Killemoff was going to lose his mind.

Yeah.

Why doesn't anyone ever listen?

Hi.

Look what I brought you.

Flowers?

I don't have time for flowers!

Can't you see I'm planning an invasion-- uh, celebration

of the upcoming bicentennial?

Now beat it!

My tromatons.

They're doing the fandango.

That can only mean one thing.

My own, dear, sweet mom is a bad guy.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): When Bender found

his brain switcher missing, he accused

poor Fender of stealing it.

Thief. Crook.

Shoplifter.

I can't turn our back on you for a minute.

Chill, doc.

Yours truly didn't cop your precious brain switcher.

Well, then who did?

-Beats the heck out of me. -Thanks.

I'd love to.

Wacka wacka wacka!

Fellas and Yvonne, I've got an important announcement to make.

Would you like a fanfare for this?

That won't be necessary, Major Disaster.

So what's the hot news, Toxie?

My mom is turning to a villain.

Oh?

Get out of town.

Oh!

You've got to be mistaken.

Your mom could never be evil.

As much as I hate to say it, she's a regular pussycat.

It's true, fellas and Yvonne.

My tromatons never lie.

Hi, boys.

Oy, what a day.

Don't ask.

Killemoff!

Where?

Where? -There.

There!

That's the second time today someone

told me I look like that crook.

Personally, I don't see the resemblance.

I brought you boys some nice cheese

danish to take to the hideously deformed creature convention.

Have a nice trip!

Fellas and Yvonne, something really weird is going on.

My tromatons never even twitched in the presence

of the evilest guy on this entire show.

I just figured it out.

Someone must have stolen my brain switcher

and used it to switch the brains of Toxie's

mom and Dr. Killemoff.

We've got to find that gadget and unswitch them pronto!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Private Maple, attention!

Begin brain switcher search.

Search results-- negative.

Ouch!

Fender, you idiot.

That was my thumb.

Oh, yeah?

So how come it's my thumb that's hurting?

Sorry, ma'am.

This won't take but a second.

[SQUAWKING]

Those feathers-- they're-- they're-- they're tickling--

they're tickling my no-- no-- nose.

Ah-- ah-- ah-- ah--

[SNEEZING]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): As for me, I went to check on Dr. Mom

to see if she was OK.

Come in, sonny.

I was just doing the dishes.

I'll be happy to help you with them.

Believe me, it's not necessary.

With these extra set of hands, I can wash and dry.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): It was kind of weird

having Mom's brain here in Tromaville

while her body was back in Island City.

Oh!

Czar Zolster.

Welcome!

Who in blazes are you?

Why, I'm Dr. Killemoff, of course, your mighty beetleship.

Very clever, Killemoff.

Disguising yourself so you can mingle freely

at the upcoming invasion.

Except for those glasses, you're really quite attractive.

I'm so happy you approve, your czar-hood.

Killemoff, let the Tromaville invasion begin!

MAYOR GRODY: Let the Tromaville bicentennial celebration begin!

[CHEERS]

In honor of the occasion, the lovely Yvonne

has written a special song in honor

of Tromaville's 200th birthday, which she will now perform.

[GROANS]

WOMAN: I feel a migraine coming on.

MAN: Get the car.

(SINGING) In 1791 when our fair city began,

they wanted to call it Tokyo, but there

was already one in Japan.

So they called it Tromaville!

Ah!

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): There was no keeping Mom away from the fair.

She could never resist a 200 year celebration.

I'm deeply honored by your presence.

I-- I hope you're enjoying yourself.

How could I enjoy myself knowing

you've raised the rent a poor old lady

who's living on social security, plus some meager bingo

winnings?

Well, I-- I certainly wouldn't want to upset you.

Uh, tell your mom she can live rent-free for the entire year.

Good news, Mom.

Mayor Grody says you can live rent-free for the entire year.

I know that!

I may be getting old, but my hearing is just fine.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Back at the toxic dump,

the guys had just about given up on their search

for the brain switcher.

I'm afraid it's no use.

We'll never find that thing.

All right.

Then let's head for the celebration

for some serious partying.

What about Junkyard?

We'd better let him sleep.

Poor guy's exhausted from all of that digging.

Toxic Crusaders, forward march!

Hup, hup, hup, hup.

Well, dog my cats.

It's Bender's brain switcher!

I just hope I'm not too late.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): As part of the celebration,

the Lloyd family were reenacting the first Tromaville

Thanksgiving 200 years ago.

All right, darling.

You can bring out the turkey you so lovingly cooked.

Me, cook?

Forget it.

I'm still queasy from that awful ocean voyage.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Suddenly, the play

was interrupted by a sneak attack of a squadron

of apocalypse copters.

And worst of all, my own beloved mom

was in charge of the whole operation.

Was I ever embarrassed.

Meanwhile, Bonehead and Psycho were scaring

everybody out of the park.

The only good part was that we didn't have to watch the end

of the Thanksgiving play.

What gives, Tox-man?

Why don't we fight back?

Yeah, ain't it clean up time?

I just can't.

I know that's really Killemoff, but it's also my mom.

I've got the baby pictures to prove it.

Well, troops, it looks like it's

"Taps" for the Toxic Crusaders.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

That won't be necessary, Major.

I found the brain switcher.

Totally triumphant.

For once I agree with you.

[GROAN]

What are you doing leading my radiation rangers?

Oh, never mind that!

What are you doing with my purse?

And my brand new hat!

[YELLING]

And now for those long awaited words.

It's clean up time!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[GROAN]

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS]

This isn't the end yet, Toxic Crusaders!

We know!

The show's still got about two and a half minutes left.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): No-Zone was right.

Because settling over the park was a humongous

Smogulan hot air balloon, and it was spewing out noxious fumes.

Operation Toxic Fumes is really working.

[LAUGHTER]

Don't worry, fellas.

I got an idea.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

OK.

That should do it.

Now let's take care of that hot air balloon.

Bone voyage!

[LAUGHTER]

Killemoff, you will pay for this!

OK, Mop.

Do your thing.

[BEEPING]

[SNEEZING]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): The tent full of balloons

landed on target-- right on top of Killemoff's headquarters.

[COUGHING]

CZAR ZOSTA: Killemoff, you blundering idiot!

I'll strangle you with my four bare hands.

If I ever find you.

You-- you-- you! [INAUDIBLE]!

[MUSIC PLAYING]