Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

I had no friends, no girls would hug me

until I got radioactive ugly.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

I live in a dump cause the rent's real low.

Got a little pet Blobbie, and he loves me so.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

Now me and the boys fight against wrong, though we're

hideously deformed.

Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world

with my mop, tutu, and girl.

Whoa!

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): It all started one day in Killemoff's

Island City penthouse.

KILLEMOFF: That's Dr. Killemoff!

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Sorry.

Dr. Killemoff's Island City penthouse.

[COUGHING]

Um, excuse the coughing.

The smog around this place always gets to me.

Anyway, the doctor was addressing his troops

of bad guy Radiation Rangers.

Radiation Rangers, today marks a momentous day in Smogulan

history.

The time has come for the long awaited Smogulan invasion.

Your mission-- to infiltrate the Tromaville Toxic

Dump where the Toxic Crusaders live

and bring them to their knees.

Take care of the Toxic Crusaders,

and the rest of Tromaville will crumble like month

old Smogulan cheesecake.

[LAUGHTER]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): While back at the toxic waste

dump we call home, we Toxic Crusaders had gotten wind

of the invasion and were trying to tidy up

the place before they got here.

Don't you just hate it when invaders

drop in without calling?

[INAUDIBLE]

Blobbie!

Will you cut that out?

[LAUGHTER]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): We finally finished

dumping everything out of the dump and just in time, too.

Because I was suddenly having a full fledged tromaton attack.

I've seen enough of these episodes

to know that means your body senses some evil presence.

That's right, No-Zone.

But where could it be coming from?

Uh, maybe it's all those Radiation Ranger paratroopers.

You're right, Junkyard.

Thanks for pointing that out.

Hey, I'm part pointer.

Here they come, and they're in full attack deployment.

We're Toxic Crusaders til we die!

Die?

Hold on.

That wasn't part of the deal.

It's just a temporary battle cry.

I'm working on a better one.

[GUNSHOTS]

Meanwhile, let's take care of these Radiation Rangers.

What's wrong, man?

Got a headache?

I saw this guy wear one in a movie.

It looked real cool.

Oh, right.

Bruce Springsteen.

I'll handle these bozos.

Ha, there's only a dozen of them.

[SPLAT]

[SPLAT]

All right, Mop.

It's clean up time.

Hey.

There's a battle cry we can use for the rest of the series.

Take that and that and that and that.

Blast it!

Those Toxic Crusaders have done it to me again.

So what else is new?

Czar Zosta.

I didn't recognize your shimmer.

What brings you to this miserable

oxygen breathing planet?

Your incompetence.

You've botched your assignment once again.

On the other hand, if I'd succeeded in putrefying

the environment in the previous episodes,

we wouldn't have a series.

A giant bug?

Uh, don't mind, Doc.

We'll take care of it.

I knew we should have put the screens up.

Ow! Hey!

What are you doing?

Doc, cut it out.

Hey, what are you-- hey!

He's a hologram, you amoeba brains!

And stay out!

Sorry about that interruption.

I rather enjoyed it.

[SNIFF] Hey.

See if you can get me some of that bug

spray for my personal use.

I just love the aroma.

Killemoff, this is your last chance

to poison the environment and make

it livable for us Smogulans.

It will be done, Czar Zosta.

Remember.

We have exactly one week to vacate the planet Smogula.

Otherwise, we lose our last month's deposit.

Never fear, all mighty one.

This time I have the final pollution solution.

The citizens of Tromaville are about to meet the new,

improved Dr. Killemoff.

[GROAN]

Oy vey.

Mom, what's that thing?

[GROAN]

--I rented this early model portable TV

so you could see this with your own toxically bulging eyeballs.

And so, fellow Tromavillians, I've

had a complete change of heart.

[GASP]

JUNKYARD: It's Killemoff.

No, that's Dr. Killemoff.

Oh, yeah.

[BARK]

I forgot.

I have come to realize that smog and pollution are no good

and must be eliminated.

I've already put my Radiation Rangers

to work building the world's largest redemption

center in which all of Tromaville's junk and garbage

will be recycled while giant smog suckers will suck up

all the choking smog filled air and send it back

into the environment in the form of pure, life-sustaining

oxygen.

Why, that double headed cockroach, promising people

things he can't deliver.

Is he trying to steal my job as mayor?

Next thing you know, he'll be kissing babies.

Kiss me, baby.

This is a kinder, gentler Dr. Killemoff saying

to all of you-- read my lips.

No more smog!

[GROWLING]

Blobbie, stop eating the TV.

You don't know where it's been.

Well, sonny, what do you think?

Actually, the picture's kind of fuzzy.

And I've never been crazy about a round screen.

No, no, no.

I mean Killemoff's complete flip flop.

He's suddenly become one of the good guys.

I wouldn't bet on it, Mom.

My tromatons are signalling me that there's something rotten

in the state of New Jersey.

So that's your brilliant scheme?

To clean up Tromaville?

Of course not, Czar Zosta.

This is the real plan.

The garbage those Tromaville idiots bring to the recycling

plant will actually be converted to noxious, poisonous air,

which will then be pumped out into the sky.

Surrounded by an gigantic airtight dome,

it will create the perfect environment for our invading

Smogulan [INAUDIBLE].

Hm.

A most ingenious plan.

And I've kept it all secret, even from my associates.

That way, the Toxic Crusader can't

pick up any vibrations through his super sensitive tromatons.

But what if Mayor Grody finds out what you're up to

and tries to throw a monkey wrench into your plans?

Hm!

I wouldn't even consider such a preposterous possibility!

Besides, that's Psycho's line.

Oops, sorry.

Don't worry, Your Czarship.

There won't be a monkey wrench in this plan.

MAYOR GRODY: So.

[PANTING]

Killemoff has decided to become a hero, has he?

Now where is that thing?

Ah!

At last, I found it.

The perfect thing to foul up that traitor's plans.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

There's a new breath of fresh air blowing through Tromaville.

Soon it will be known as the cleanest town

on the face of the earth.

Whoop-de-do.

What excitement.

[YAWN]

Be still, my beating heart.

You say that isn't enough?

I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I will personally offer the grand total of-- not $10.

[BUZZ]

Not $20.

[BUZZ]

But a whole $38.50 tax free to the person who brings

in the most recyclable garbage.

Offer prohibited where void.

Must be a resident of Tromaville winner.

[CHEERS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Did you hear that, Bonehead?

38.50 big ones.

So what are we waiting for?

Let's start cleaning up the air.

Isn't it wonderful, Toxie?

Dr. Killemoff has actually changed.

I don't know, Yvonne.

I've still got a funny feeling about this.

Why so suspicious?

You stood right next to Psycho and Bonehead

and didn't get a single twitch.

No-Zone's right.

Even Mayor Grody didn't trigger your tromatons.

Well, perhaps we can express it best in a little song.

Ready, fellas?

(SINGING) Well, now you can change

a dollar into 22 nickels.

You can change a cucumber into a lot of little pickles.

Yeah, change.

YVONNE (SINGING): Even bad guys do it.

Change!

YVONNE (SINGING): There ain't nothing to it.

Happens all the time.

Well, come on, and change your mind about change.

Oh!

You're right.

Anyone can change, even Killemoff.

That's Dr. Killemoff.

Remember, he's a good guy now.

[GROAN]

I've got a few surprises in store for Killemoff.

Uh, that's Dr. Killemoff.

I

Don't you start in, too.

Anyway, my surprise is-- this!

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, Mr. Mayor.

You're so cute when you're ticked off.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Now with that huge cash prize,

the people of Tromaville tried to outdo

each other gathering junk.

Even we Toxic Crusaders got into it.

What a genius that Bender is.

Just like that, he comes up with inventions

to help clean up the Tromaville environment,

like that letter getter gadget he invented that sucks

the graffiti right off a fence.

It even sucks the printing off a newspaper.

That way, you can use the same paper again the next day.

The letter getter needed some fine tuning, though.

Hey, you!

Come back with my newspaper.

Uh-oh.

Gangway, man!

[GRUNT]

[CRYING]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Not to be outdone,

No-Zone worked on his own invention--

a special magnet that attracts aluminum cans.

Uh-oh.

Trouble at 12:00.

Oh, oh, oh!

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): It looks like No-Zone's invention

still had a few bugs in it.

Don't you mean flies?

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): There were a few other small problems

with his aluminum attractor, too.

Hey, what's going on?

[SCREAM]

Oh!

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): And a couple of large problems, too.

[GULP]

Who ordered the limo?

It sure wasn't me.

Look.

So it didn't work perfectly.

Thanks, Toxie's mom.

I feel like such a failure.

Listen.

I'm sure you'll find a use for your aluminum attractor.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Now it was Major Disaster's turn.

He came up with a gadget he called

the noise pollution solution.

It really worked great.

[HONK]

[CLANG]

The noise pollution solution had one little drawback, though.

YVONNE (SINGING): I even forget when to eat,

except when I eat something sweet.

Yes, love--

[SCREAM]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): It couldn't tell ugly noise

from beautiful noise.

Kind of like Toxie himself.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Even Junkyard got into the act

by doing public service announcements.

Canines of Tromaville, can we talk?

You know, it's not just humans who can

stop polluting the environment.

[SNIFFING]

Us (BARK) dogs can do our part, too.

So next time you feel the urge, don't raise your leg.

Cross it.

[BUZZ]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Meanwhile, inside the brand

new recycling plant, those bad guys

turned good guys, Psycho and Bonehead,

were doing their part supervising the operation.

Move it, you jerks.

Lift that bag and pump that smog.

I still can't get used to being a good guy.

Me, neither, Bonehead.

Being a bad guy was lots more fun.

Yeah, the boss sure turned into a wuss.

Next thing you know he'll change his name

from Killemoff to Kissemoff.

I got a feeling there's something

real funny going on here.

Yeah, I sure hope so.

For the sake of the audience.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Thanks to our new recycling plant, exactly

one month later, Tromaville was the cleanest city in the world

just the way Dr. Killemoff promised.

The place was so clean and sparkly, even the birds

had to wear sunglasses.

Being the cleanest city in the world

had its drawbacks, though, like take those tour buses-- please.

MAN: Here we are, folks-- Tromaville,

the cleanest, quietest, smog-less, litter-free city

on the face of the Earth.

Oh, Herald, get over here.

Isn't it lovely?

Wow.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Luckily, the Toxic Crusaders were on the job

as a welcoming community.

Bender used his letter getter gadget

to scoop up souvenirs, which Fender handed out to them.

FENDER: Whoa, chill out, people.

There's enough for everyone.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Major Disaster checked

out their exhaust admission.

OK, you're fine.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): While No-Zone and I put

them on the right road back.

Toxic Crusaders to the rescue!

Well, Lloyd, how does it feel to be the big

winner of the $38.50 first prize for bringing in the most junk?

I'm still kind of in shock, Toxie.

TOXIE (ON TV): What do you intend doing

with all that money, Lloyd?

Well, I-- I already spent some of it

by taking the wife and kids out to dinner to celebrate.

We went to Pizza by the Ton.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MAN (VOICEOVER): We interrupt this program

to bring you a special announcement

from our generous benefactor, Dr. Killemoff.

Fellow Tromavillians, how proud you

must feel to be living in the most pollution

free city in the world.

And now we must strive to protect

our environmental paradise by building an enormous dome that

will completely enclose the city so it will remain free

of chemical impurities forever.

A dome?

Over Tromaville?

Far out.

KILLEMOFF (ON TV): And I'm asking my close friends,

the Toxic Crusaders, to use their incredible strength

to help build it.

Did you hear that?

He's asking for the Toxic Crusaders.

What do you say, Crusaders?

Will you do it?

You bet we'll do it!

I knew I could con you.

I mean, count on you.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): While we Toxic Crusaders got

busy building the dome, Yvonne sang us

a special work song she wrote.

(SINGING) They do the work jerk.

They do the work work.

They do the work jerk.

What's the matter, Your Honor, honey?

You seem upset.

[MAN ON TV TALKING]

[HICCUP]

You bet I'm upset.

I've got to figure out some way to sabotage Project Dome.

Why don't you relax like me?

Watch a little TV.

It's real educational.

MAN (VOICEOVER): Worried about your false teeth slipping?

Well, your worries are over with new, improved Chopper-Stik.

Chopper-Stik is guaranteed to cement those babies tight

for a full 24 hours.

After that, you're on your own.

[SCREAM]

[BURP]

That's it.

I've found the answer.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

What an ingenious plan.

I simply replace the gum they've been using with this vat

filled with Chopper-Stik.

[BURP]

Oh.

[LAUGHTER]

24 hours after it's up, the entire dome

will come crashing down, along with Killemoff's credibility.

[LAUGHTER]

[SQUEAK]

[SQUEAK]

Hey, Mop, what are you doing?

What's that?

You say this stuff isn't really glue?

It's actually a barrel of Chopper-Stik

that Mayor Grody switched it with?

Uh-oh, Toxie.

We'd better not use it.

No-Zone.

Are you going to take the word of a mop over a mayor?

Hm.

That's a tough decision.

Not for me, it isn't.

Mayor Grody has now joined the good guys.

He'd never do a thing like that.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): The dome was finally finished.

To show our appreciation for their help,

we threw the Radiation Rangers a little wrap party.

(SINGING) For these are jolly good rangers.

For these are jolly good rangers.

For these are jolly good rangers,

although it's hard to tell.

Hey!

[CHEERS]

There you have it, Czar Zosta.

The dome is now completed and right on schedule.

Splendid.

[LAUGHTER]

Prepare Tromaville for the highest level of toxicity.

As you command, Almighty One.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Uh, what's going on?

[GASP]

The Smog Sucker has gone into refuse.

Instead of pumping the polluted air in, it's pumping it out.

[COUGHING]

Oh, the sky-- it-- it's filling up with smog

and smoke and-- and schmutz.

[COUGHING]

It's awful.

I can hardly breathe.

KILLEMOFF: And it's only the beginning!

You have exactly five minutes to leave Tromaville

before the Smogulan invasion.

It's Killemoff.

He lied to us!

[SCREAM]

KILLEMOFF: That goes for you, too, Toxic Crusaders.

Say bye or die!

[LAUGHTER]

Then this was all just a huge scam.

Dr. Killemoff took advantage of our innate good nature

and innocence.

Did you hear that, Psycho?

The boss is a rotten, low down, crooked rat after all.

All right!

My faith in villainkind is restored.

Fellas, we'll have to turn off that smog sucker.

Forget it, you freakazoids.

Get them!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[GUNSHOTS]

Every Crusader for himself.

Whatever happened to one for all and all for one?

It's copyrighted.

[SPLAT]

[CRASH]

[CRASH]

[GROAN]

OK, Mop, it's clean up time.

[SQUEAK]

Hey!

Come back!

We're not through mopping up!

[SQUEAK]

Hey!

[YELLING]

Mop, what is with you?

[SQUEAK]

[RING]

[CRASH]

Head for the exit!

[CRASH]

Oh, man!

A total wipe-a-thon!

We've got Mop to thank for that.

But what do we do about the smog sucker?

There's no way to shut it off!

Major Disaster, you must use your powers to teleport

this place out of Tromaville.

Me?

Move this place?

But I only have control over vegetation and stuff.

He's right.

Oh, boy.

Looks like all is lost.

JUNKYARD: No, it's not.

You guys have been barking up the wrong tree.

What do you mean, Junkyard?

Hey.

This place is a recycling plant, isn't it?

Yeah.

So?

So plants are something Major Disaster can control.

Gosh.

I never thought of it that way.

I'll give it a try.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

FENDER: It's working, man!

You're doing it.

Whoa!

[SCREAMING]

[BARKING]

[CRASH]

Killemoff, you'll pay dearly for this!

Yes, Your Exalted Czarness.

Do you accept credit cards?

MRS. JUNKO: A toast to my son the mutant

and his equally hideously deformed friends,

the Toxic Crusaders!

Thanks, Mom.

But Mom here is the real hero of the day.

Did you really know Mayor Grody was up to no good?

[SQUEAK]

And did you really know the glue would

only hold for exactly 24 hours?

[SQUEAK]

But how did you know all that?

You read the script.

Aw.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]