Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

I had no friends, no girls would hug me

until I got radioactive ugly.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

I live in a dump cause the rent's real low.

Got a little pet Blobbie, and he loves me so.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

Now me and the boys fight against wrong, though we're

hideously deformed.

Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world.

With my mop, tutu, and girl.

Whoa!

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): it all started one peaceful day

in the Tromaville Public Park.

Major Disaster, Junkyard, and I were

just kicking back and relaxing.

[SIGH]

It's rare when hideously deformed

creatures of superhuman size and strength

like us can have a day off.

It sure is, Junkyard.

More breeze if you please.

Ah, what a life.

We're young.

We're free.

And we're radioactive.

Who could ask for anything more?

WOMAN: Help!

Help!

That sounds like a lady in distress.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's go!

Oh, help me, someone!

Help me!

I was right.

It is a lady in distress.

She's not in distress.

She's in di-surgeon's gown.

That's because I'm a tree surgeon.

Now please, rescue me!

I'll handle this.

Oh, how did you do that?

Uh, I have a way with vegetation.

So do I. That's why I'm a tree surgeon.

Elma Oakley's the name.

I'm Major Disaster, and, uh, these are my fellow mutated

mates, Toxie and Junkyard.

How are you?

Uh, won't you take off your mask so I

can see what you look like?

[LAUGHTER]

Well, if you insist.

Why, you're-- you're kind of plain looking.

You're no Tom Cruise yourself.

But that's OK.

I-- I think I'm in love with you, anyway.

Where'd that music come from?

From Russia.

It was written for some ballet.

Well, I've got to be running.

I've got so much to do before Arbor Day.

Arbor Day?

That's when everyone runs around planting trees.

And trees are nothing to be sniffed at.

There's so much poor, defenseless vegetation

that needs looking after.

Fellas, I think I'm in love with Elma.

Do you suppose she'd go out on a date with me?

The answer is yes.

All right!

All right!

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Meanwhile, in Island City,

the evil Killemoff was up to another

of his villainous schemes.

KILLEMOFF: That's Dr. Killemoff to you!

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Sorry.

The evil Dr. Killemoff was up to another

of his villainous schemes.

KILLEMOFF: That's better.

Behold, Bonehead.

The answer to all my problems.

Here.

Test it yourself.

[SNIFFING] -Nah.

I'm OK.

I'm wearing one of those 30 day deodorant pads.

It isn't a pit spray, you dunce.

It's something for my home planet of Smogula.

It's called Smog in a Can.

Watch.

Ah.

Delightful, isn't it?

It brings the outdoors indoors.

[COUGHING]

Yeah.

I noticed that subtle hint of mint.

Here it is, Dr. Killemoff, the bonsai tree you asked for.

Splendid, Psycho.

Watch closely as I demonstrate Smog in a Can's special side

effects.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Ta da!

Instant smog?

Exactly.

It mutates the process of photosynthesis

so that instead of producing oxygen,

the trees produce thick poisonous, gorgeous smog.

I must go into full scale production immediately.

What if there are no factories left in Tromaville,

and you have to shmear Mayor Grody in order

to find someplace to manufacture it?

Psycho, you are such a worrywart!

Mayor Grody.

[GASP]

Uh, Dr. Killemoff, what a pleasant surprise.

Skip the inane pleasantries, Grody.

Have you located a factory for me to manufacture

my Smog in a Can yet?

Uh, finding just the right location isn't easy, you know.

Would a $500 contribution to your campaign fund

speed things up?

Hey.

Hey, wait.

It suddenly hit me.

Uh, the chewing gum factory I sold to the Toxic Crusaders.

Excellent.

Dispossess them immediately.

[LAUGHTER]

What delicious irony.

Using the Toxic Crusader's very own factory

to manufacture the means of their own destruction.

[LAUGHTER]

I never realized he was such a good dancer.

Yeah, you gotta hand it to Killemoff.

He's just one jump ahead of everybody.

Yeah.

You'd think he was a giant grasshopper

instead of a cockroach.

Uh oh.

Hey, here comes one of those toxic creeps.

Let's split.

[HUMMING]

Ha, ha.

La, la.

I'm in love with a wonderful tree surgeon.

And you thought Dr. Killemoff was the only

good dancer in this show.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, there you are, Major.

I picked these just for you, Elma.

[SNEEZING]

Sorry.

I've got a major allergy to flowers.

Gesundheit.

Uh, that's funny.

Uh, me, too.

[SNEEZING]

Uh, gesundheit.

Uh, we have so much in common.

This is a great date.

Hm, there's something wrong with this tree.

How bad is it?

It's major, Major.

Major.

It's suffering from bark blight.

Heck, I can fix that easy.

How?

By changing your name?

You see, ever since my toxic accident,

I've had this special power over plants and trees.

Step aside, and I'll demonstrate.

[GASP]

I can't believe it.

My powers of healing are gone.

Oh, I'm so humiliated.

I could never look another green thing in the face again.

[CRYING]

Wait, Major!

Come back!

I had no idea hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size

and strength were so sensitive.

Well, what do you know?

This stuff Killemoff invented actually works.

Maybe.

But I still say something's bound

to go wrong with this idea.

Oh, yeah, like what?

Like that, for starters.

I'm so embarrassed.

I've lost my ability to control plant life.

All right, so you got a brown thumb.

Last week I drowned a fern by over watering it.

Does that make me a bad person?

No.

Just a bad person to come to for comforting.

Don't you understand?

I humiliated myself in front of the first date

I've had since my nuclear accident.

Ah, there's no reason to sulk.

If Toxie lost his special powers, I'd still love him.

Of course, that wouldn't leave us with much of a show.

Let me sing you a song I wrote on that very subject.

Please, Yvonne, hasn't he suffered enough?

(SINGING) When a woman loves a man, she gives it all she can.

Even when he loses his powers, she'll stick

by him sometimes for hours.

[GROAN]

I knew that would make you feel better.

[RUMBLING]

Whoa!

It's a full fledged tromaton attack.

[GASP]

That usually means that evil's brewing somewhere nearby.

Exactly.

But where's it coming from?

It's coming from the bubble gum factory.

Oh, no.

Not the bubblegum factory that Mayor Grody sold you

so you could become self-sufficient

superheros and no longer have to live on handouts

and could hold your heads up high,

and we sure covered a lot of back story in one sentence.

That's the one.

Come on, Major Disaster.

We've got a job to do.

I know it's not much of an act break,

but it's the best we could come up with on such short notice.

TOXIE: What do you think of our slogan?

It's toxic, but it's tasty.

It's catchy, but it's kooky.

MRS. JUNKO: Get ready, everyone.

We're about to turn out our first batch ever

of Toxic Crusaders chewing gum.

All set down here, Toxie's mom.

Wow, Bender, my man, hold on.

Whoever heard of grey bubblegum?

Oh, Fender, you're such a traditionalist.

Here, let me add a pinch of pepper.

Way to go.

Now you're cooking.

Colorizing our bubblegum.

Who does he think he is?

Ted Turner?

We're about to start the assembly line.

Fire when ready, Toxie's mom.

[INAUDIBLE]

I'll explain the process as we go along.

Gum enters a bin known as the goop cutter, which cuts it,

then feeds it onto a roller thingamajig.

Then this other gizmo chops it into slices.

Then this whatchamacallit wraps it up with a card.

And this gadget catches it.

I hope this hasn't been too technical for you.

And best of all, the cards have our pictures on them.

Totally turbo, don't you think?

[CRASH]

Oh, sorry.

I really must have my brakes adjusted.

[LAUGHTER]

Bonehead!

You did this on purpose!

You'll pay for this, young man.

No way, lady!

Hey!

That's no lady!

That's Toxie's mom.

Get with the program, folks.

Mayor Grody just condemned this factory.

You got five minutes to clear out.

But how can he sell us this place,

then throw us out one episode later?

I don't know.

I guess it's how long it took for the check to clear.

OK, guys.

Waste this place.

Ah-- ah-- ah-- ah--

[SNEEZING]

It sure is sad.

All our dreams popped, chewed up,

and spit out like-- like-- well, like bubblegum.

Help!

Help!

Don't worry.

I'll handle this.

[SQUEAK]

Sorry.

I mean, we'll handle this.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, no.

I must save him.

Gotcha!

[GASP] [GRUNT]

BONEHEAD: Hey!

FENDER: Ew, yuck, man.

This is epic.

It was all a dream.

I was dreaming I shared my bod with some moldy old scientist.

I'm having the same dream.

Only in my case, it's a nightmare.

OK, troops.

Back to headquarters.

By the way, anyone know where there's a drive-through tank

wash around here?

[CHATTER]

Some good neighbors you are.

What do we do now, fearless leader?

Are you talking to me?

Do you see any other fearless leaders around here?

I guess not.

OK then.

I say we go straight to Mayor Grody's office

and demand some action.

OK!

Let's do it.

(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders.

We're the Toxic Crusaders.

We're the Toxic Crusaders.

Of that we're pretty sure of.

Wait.

We forgot something.

It's probably me.

I was never very good at remembering lyrics.

No, I mean Mom.

Didn't we leave her back in the factory?

I think so.

No wonder I'm feeling so guilt free.

(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders.

We're the Toxic Crusaders.

We're the Toxic Crusaders.

KILLEMOFF: Ah, my plan is working brilliantly.

Soon those interfering Toxic Crusaders will be but a memory.

(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders.

Of that we're pretty sure of.

[LAUGHTER]

Hm.

Heartbeat-- highly irregular.

This is one sick sycamore.

[GASP]

Well, no wonder.

It's surrounded by its own personal smog bank.

Even the Tromaville Tree Preserve is becoming polluted.

And so close to Arbor Day.

Well, Mayor Grody will hear about this!

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Yvonne-- feisty little devil

that she is-- decided to call on the mayor with us.

Mayor Grody, you had no right to condemn

the bubblegum factory.

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): Suddenly the door burst open,

and there stood another feisty lady.

Mayor Grody, we have to have words!

TOXIE (VOICEOVER): It was Elma Oakley, noted tree

surgeon, botanical bacteriologist, and

Major Disaster's main squeeze.

All the trees in Tromaville Park are dying!

You've got to do something about stopping this pollution!

Uh, right.

That's why I shut down the bubblegum factory.

It was creating too much smog.

Now hold on.

Our bubblegum doesn't cause smog.

I haven't got time to discuss it.

Case closed.

I've got to look after tomorrow's big--

[BURP]

Arbor Day parade.

Hm.

I may be nearsighted, but even I can

see this is a permit to start manufacturing in our factory.

Ooh, why, that dirty dog.

Our building wasn't condemned after all.

Fellas, there's something suspicious about this.

I think it's time we paid a visit

to our ex-bubblegum factory for some answers.

You were right, Toxie.

Something is going on.

I wonder what they're up to.

That's just what we're going to find out.

No way, Tox-man.

We'll never get in there with those Radiation Rangers

checking out the entrance.

Not from the outside, Fender.

But I know a shortcut.

The sewer?

Oh, barf.

Ah, for the first time in my life, I agree with you.

Listen.

If it's good enough for mutants in another series,

it's good enough for hideously deformed creatures of

superhuman size and strength.

[SIGH]

BENDER: Oh, boy, it stinks down here.

And that's coming from someone who

lives in a toxic waste dump.

In New Jersey, no less.

OK, gang.

End of the line.

Someone want to give me a boost?

The Radiation Rangers have taken over the factory.

Let's show them they can't get away with this.

It's clean up time!

Let's get em!

[BARKING]

[CHATTER]

Oh, it's those blasted Toxic Crusaders again!

Let me use the proton energizer on them, Doc.

Why use up the battery?

My Radiation Rangers will take care of them.

I may have lost my flower power,

but I can still handle a couple of petunias like you.

[CRASH]

[SNEEZING]

I'm telling you, Doc.

Better let me use the proton energizer.

I said no!

Blast it!

Those cretins are actually winning!

Quick.

Use the proton energizer.

Great idea, boss.

Huh?

What's going on?

[GROAN]

Whoa.

Bummer.

No.

Bumper.

Finally, the end of the Toxic Crusaders.

[LAUGHTER]

So at last, it's the end of the famous Toxic Crusaders.

Now nothing can stop me from turning every Tromaville tree

into a smog-spewing organism.

It's fitting I do it on Arbor Day, don't you agree?

Actually, that is a nice tie in.

Boss, how come in these things, the bad guys always reveal

their plans to the good guys?

What can I tell you?

It's tradition.

It might come back to haunt you.

Nonsense!

Not one of them is going to escape.

Look.

Enough chatter!

Finish them off.

OK, Toxie.

So what do we do now?

We use our incredible toxic given strength to escape.

Like this.

Neato.

[BANG]

Man, that's like taking off a tight girdle.

There.

That's better.

How come we didn't do this sooner?

Because I wanted to hear what Killemoff's plan was.

See?

What did I tell you?

Oh, shut up.

Let's go!

Back to the sewer!

No way.

I'm not going back into that smelly place again.

Well, maybe just this once.

No!

They've escaped.

I promised you.

This will be one Arbor Day the Toxic Crusaders won't ever

forget.

[CHATTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

No-Zone, keep your eyes peeled for anything unusual.

Oh, boy.

You mean like that?

Oh, Arbor Day is my most favorite holiday.

[SIGH]

Oh, it used to be mine, too, until I lost my power.

Ah, my plan to pollute Tromaville is nearly complete.

And no one will know until it's too late!

Except for the Toxic Crusaders who you already blabbed it to.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

The idiots are actually cheering.

No one realizes what we're about to do.

Except for the Toxic Crusaders.

Will you stop with that nagging already?

TOXIE: Just look at that humongous float.

This is even better than the Thanksgiving Day parade.

[GASP]

Hold on.

An aerosol can in an Arbor Day parade?

Why, those things burn holes in the ozone.

[PANTING]

Uh oh.

You shouldn't have said that.

No-Zone is allergic to the word ozone.

[PANTING]

[SNEEZING]

Smog in a Can?

It's Killemoff.

He must have made that thing out of scrap metal.

And he plans to spray our beloved trees with it!

They're on to us.

Drive your big can straight to the park now!

It's headed for the trees!

Not if we can help it.

Major Disaster, grab that banner.

Right, Toxie.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Up we go!

Quick, Psycho.

Release the smog now.

OK, but I bet it's too late.

[CREAKING]

What's happening?

You told them your plan, and now they're stopping us.

Big surprise.

Hooray!

[CHEERS]

Whoa.

Forget the celebration, gang.

The smog is escaping, anyway.

Now what do we do?

MRS. JUNKO: Leave it to me!

I'll handle this.

There.

Finished.

[WHIMPERING]

We can always count on moms to clean up our messes.

His messes, yes.

Your messes, no.

Humans can be so inhuman.

You're a hero.

You saved the trees!

Thanks, Elma.

But I wish I knew what happened to my plant powers.

You still have them.

You were just trying to use them on the tree

sprayed with Smog in a Can.

Really, Elma?

-See for yourself. -OK.

Here goes.

[CHEERS]

Elma, you were right.

I do have my powers back.

Good.

Now let's see if we can get our factory back.

You guys, relax.

This one's on me.

OK, trees, now listen up.

We've got work to do.

[CALLS OUT MARCHING ORDERS]

Ah, I never could resist a man in a toxically-eaten

away uniform.

[CALLS OUT MARCHING ORDERS]

No problem, troops.

We ain't going to be licked by a bunch of giant marching trees.

Giant marching trees?

If anyone asks, I just went to go buy some white flags.

[CALLS OUT MARCHING ORDERS]

[LAUGHTER]

Isn't this exciting, Toxie's mom?

We have our bubblegum factor back again.

I'm sure dentists throughout the nation are thrilled.

I have found it so inspiring that I have

written a little work song.

Want to hear it?

Just a minute.

OK.

Now.

(SINGING) We do the work, work.

We do the work jerk.

We do the work, work.

We do the work jerk.

(SINGING) We do the work.

YVONNE: (SINGING) Work until Friday when we all get paid.

(SINGING) We do the work, work.

YVONNE: Uh-huh.

(SINGING) We do the work jerk.

We do the work.

YVONNE: (SINGING) We take that old money,

and we go get some fun.

Yeah, baby.

ALL: (SINGING) We do the work.

We do the work jerk.

We do the work.

YVONNE: Huh!

Work!

Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING]