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1
00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:13,499
Ciao, Rome!
2
00:07:15,799 --> 00:07:17,249
Ciao, world!
3
00:07:21,999 --> 00:07:23,199
Ciao!
4
00:07:33,248 --> 00:07:35,348
What have we forgotten?
5
00:07:38,148 --> 00:07:41,047
What have we forgotten?
6
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,297
We have forgotten you!
7
00:07:55,946 --> 00:07:57,896
Let me be very clear:
8
00:07:59,496 --> 00:08:02,646
I'm here for one very simple reason.
9
00:08:04,046 --> 00:08:07,695
To not forget anyone.
10
00:08:08,645 --> 00:08:11,845
God does not leave anyone behind.
11
00:08:12,845 --> 00:08:16,845
That is what He told me
when I decided to serve Him.
12
00:08:16,895 --> 00:08:19,645
And it is what I say to you now.
13
00:08:20,944 --> 00:08:25,744
I serve God. I serve you!
14
00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:36,993
We've forgotten
the women and children,
15
00:08:37,043 --> 00:08:41,743
who will change this world
with their love and their kindness.
16
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:47,043
And with their marvelous,
divine disposition to play.
17
00:08:50,042 --> 00:08:53,492
Play is the only
authentic means we have
18
00:08:53,542 --> 00:08:57,042
to make us feel in harmony with life.
19
00:08:58,742 --> 00:09:04,691
And to be in harmony with God
we have to be in harmony with life.
20
00:09:05,941 --> 00:09:07,691
We don't have a choice:
21
00:09:08,441 --> 00:09:12,291
we must be in harmony with God!
22
00:09:19,490 --> 00:09:22,240
And what else have we forgotten?
23
00:09:30,039 --> 00:09:32,839
We have forgotten to masturbate,
24
00:09:35,339 --> 00:09:38,039
to use contraceptives,
25
00:09:40,939 --> 00:09:42,789
to get abortions,
26
00:09:42,839 --> 00:09:45,988
to celebrate gay marriages,
27
00:09:46,638 --> 00:09:48,988
to allow priests to love each other,
28
00:09:49,038 --> 00:09:51,388
and even to get married.
29
00:09:52,538 --> 00:09:57,437
We've forgotten that we can
decide to die if you detest living,
30
00:09:57,487 --> 00:10:00,637
we've forgotten
to have sexual relations
31
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:06,037
for purposes other than procreation
without feeling guilty!
32
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Help!
33
00:10:08,937 --> 00:10:13,736
To divorce, to let nuns say mass,
34
00:10:13,786 --> 00:10:17,536
to make babies in all the ways
science has discovered
35
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and will continue to discover.
36
00:10:20,436 --> 00:10:24,586
In short, my dear, dear children,
37
00:10:25,535 --> 00:10:28,435
not only have we forgotten to play,
38
00:10:29,635 --> 00:10:32,035
we have forgotten to be happy.
39
00:10:36,935 --> 00:10:41,534
And there is only one road
that leads to happiness.
40
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And that road is called freedom.
41
00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:55,983
Sancti Apostoli Petrus et Paulus,
42
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de quorum potestate
et auctoritate confidimus...
43
00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:03,733
What are you saying, Lenny?
What's all this nonsense?
44
00:11:03,783 --> 00:11:06,332
You're not the Pope, Lenny!
45
00:11:07,032 --> 00:11:08,882
I am the Pope!
46
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I'm the Pope, and you, Lenny,
47
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are no longer a member of the Church.
48
00:11:14,932 --> 00:11:18,632
You are done with God, Lenny.
49
00:11:25,931 --> 00:11:28,331
What you mean done?
50
00:11:29,131 --> 00:11:32,131
I just barely got started with God.
51
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:44,880
Who are you, Lenny?
52
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,280
I am a contradiction.
53
00:11:48,629 --> 00:11:52,879
Like God.
One in three and three in one.
54
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,579
Like Mary, virgin and mother.
55
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Like man, good and evil.
56
00:12:00,829 --> 00:12:04,128
Today Pio XIII's papacy begins.
57
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Cardinals are still in Vatican City,
58
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and they will leave Rome only after
the new Pontiff's first homily.
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00:12:10,028 --> 00:12:12,028
I am the Pope.
60
00:12:14,927 --> 00:12:16,627
I am the Pope.
61
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,626
Not knowing your tastes,
Your Holiness,
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we took the liberty of preparing
a little of everything.
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Didn't anyone tell you I don't eat much?
Hardly anything, in fact!
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All I have in the morning
is a Cherry Coke Zero.
65
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We will get some right away.
66
00:12:53,925 --> 00:12:56,524
- What's your name?
- Domen, Your Holiness.
67
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I am Your Holiness's maggiordomo.
68
00:12:59,024 --> 00:13:01,524
- Do you know what Domen means?
- "One who belongs to God".
69
00:13:01,574 --> 00:13:04,524
Precisely.
So, by transitive property...
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you belong to me.
71
00:13:09,624 --> 00:13:11,523
How did you sleep, Your Holiness?
72
00:13:12,623 --> 00:13:14,573
I had an amusing dream.
73
00:13:15,473 --> 00:13:18,523
Cardinal Ozolins and Cardinal Aguirre
slapping each other,
74
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and I said the most outrageous things
to the crowd
75
00:13:20,973 --> 00:13:23,223
in Saint Peter's Square.
76
00:13:25,922 --> 00:13:29,172
Well then, I'll wait here
for my Cherry Coke Zero.
77
00:13:43,071 --> 00:13:47,121
In the meantime would Your Holiness
care for a regular Diet Coke?
78
00:13:47,671 --> 00:13:49,971
Let's not utter heresies, Domen.
79
00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:53,670
It's death
to settle for things in life.
80
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:57,420
Holy Father, while you wait,
may I present Sister Bice,
81
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from Nepi,
in delightful province of Lazio.
82
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She will be your personal cook.
83
00:14:02,820 --> 00:14:06,969
Sister Bice also served three pontiffs
who came before you.
84
00:14:07,019 --> 00:14:10,569
When she was young,
she was a missionary in India
85
00:14:10,619 --> 00:14:13,469
and fortunately for us,
she speaks a good English.
86
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,369
Well, my sweet Holy Father,
87
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:18,119
now what is it you would like
to have for your lunch?
88
00:14:19,768 --> 00:14:21,768
You just tell your Bice what you want,
89
00:14:21,818 --> 00:14:23,668
and I'll prepare it for you.
90
00:14:23,718 --> 00:14:27,568
Matriciana, pasta e fagioli,
carbonara, lasagne...
91
00:14:27,618 --> 00:14:29,868
Am I mistaken, did she say "my sweet"?
92
00:14:29,918 --> 00:14:32,967
Your Holiness,
Sister Bice is rather... quaint.
93
00:14:33,017 --> 00:14:36,417
No, Domen, she is not quaint.
94
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She's friendly.
95
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Mother...
96
00:14:40,417 --> 00:14:44,067
Let me explain something to you,
that you, in your long life,
97
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:47,416
have not yet had the occasion
to understand:
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00:14:48,666 --> 00:14:51,566
friendly relationships are dangerous.
99
00:14:51,616 --> 00:14:53,966
They lend themselves to ambiguities,
100
00:14:54,016 --> 00:14:56,716
misunderstandings, and conflicts,
101
00:14:56,766 --> 00:14:58,716
and they always end badly.
102
00:14:58,766 --> 00:15:01,465
Formal relationships,
on the other hand,
103
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are as clear as spring water.
104
00:15:03,865 --> 00:15:06,865
Their rules are carved in stone.
105
00:15:06,915 --> 00:15:08,265
There's no risk of being misunderstood
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and they last forever.
107
00:15:10,515 --> 00:15:11,915
Now, you need to know...
108
00:15:11,965 --> 00:15:16,614
I do not appreciate
friendly relationships.
109
00:15:17,714 --> 00:15:20,764
But I'm a great admirer
of formal ones.
110
00:15:21,514 --> 00:15:24,264
Where there are formal relationships
there are rites
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00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:28,913
and where there are rites
the earth order reigns.
112
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Your Holiness, His Eminence
the Cardinal Secretary of State
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and the Prefects
of the Various Congregations
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can't wait to make your acquaintance
and to welcome you.
115
00:15:44,312 --> 00:15:45,512
Well, they're gonna have to.
116
00:15:45,562 --> 00:15:48,662
Because first I have to drink
my Cherry Coke Zero.
117
00:15:51,562 --> 00:15:53,862
May God, who has enlightened
every heart, help you
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to know your sins and trust His mercy.
119
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Your sins, Voiello?
120
00:15:58,711 --> 00:16:00,561
Tommasino, don't waste my time.
121
00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:03,861
My sins have to do
with high finance and diplomacy.
122
00:16:03,911 --> 00:16:06,661
Even if I were to confess them,
you wouldn't understand a thing.
123
00:16:06,711 --> 00:16:10,260
So confess those I can understand.
124
00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:12,760
I've had impure thoughts.
125
00:16:12,810 --> 00:16:14,060
About who?
126
00:16:14,110 --> 00:16:17,460
- About the Venus of Willendorf.
- Who's she?
127
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:21,060
The Paleolithic statue
the Pope keeps in his library.
128
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:23,509
It's 25,000 years-old.
129
00:16:25,059 --> 00:16:29,109
Impure and gerontophilic thoughts
about a statue...
130
00:16:31,309 --> 00:16:33,559
What sort of penance
can I assign for that?
131
00:16:33,609 --> 00:16:35,259
You're making things difficult
for me, Voiello!
132
00:16:35,309 --> 00:16:37,958
You think about it and let me know.
133
00:16:38,008 --> 00:16:40,058
I'm in a hurry.
134
00:16:52,607 --> 00:16:56,057
Look, guys,
the Holy Spirit is blowing away.
135
00:16:56,107 --> 00:16:58,757
Speaking of the Holy Spirit,
what do you think?
136
00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:00,507
Did He illumine the cardinals?
137
00:17:00,557 --> 00:17:03,957
The naivet� of you Africans
is really touching.
138
00:17:04,007 --> 00:17:07,056
Do you really believe
that the Holy Spirit elects the Pope?
139
00:17:07,106 --> 00:17:12,056
We Africans, no, but we Catholics, yes,
that is what we believe.
140
00:17:12,106 --> 00:17:13,556
Don't you, Ozolins?
141
00:17:13,606 --> 00:17:18,255
Well the Holy Spirit is not stupid
but He is ironic and cunning.
142
00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:21,405
- I don't understand.
- What he's trying to tell you...
143
00:17:21,455 --> 00:17:23,505
is that here in Vatican...
144
00:17:23,555 --> 00:17:27,355
the Holy Spirit
is just another name for Voiello.
145
00:17:27,405 --> 00:17:31,605
Belardo is forty-seven years old.
146
00:17:32,304 --> 00:17:33,804
That's young.
147
00:17:33,854 --> 00:17:38,204
Which means we won't live
to see another pope. How sad!
148
00:17:38,254 --> 00:17:41,354
Caltanissetta, it's already a miracle
149
00:17:41,404 --> 00:17:45,504
that you've lived long enough
to see this one.
150
00:17:45,554 --> 00:17:51,053
I'm not so sure that Voiello
has shown good leadership this time.
151
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:54,203
I've never
really trusted Voiello myself.
152
00:17:54,253 --> 00:17:56,353
He's the devil incarnate.
153
00:17:56,403 --> 00:18:01,552
Spencer would have been
the right choice.
154
00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:03,652
Far too independent,
155
00:18:03,702 --> 00:18:07,352
and that wouldn't have been
a good news for us cardinals.
156
00:18:11,752 --> 00:18:13,501
True.
157
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:17,401
But all we have in exchange
is a telegenic puppet.
158
00:18:17,451 --> 00:18:21,801
And that means
that he can be manipulated.
159
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:26,051
This is a masterpiece
of Voiello's diplomatic cunning,
160
00:18:26,101 --> 00:18:29,550
the way he shepherded
the cardinals' votes to Belardo.
161
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,450
Now Belardo holds office,
162
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,550
but Voiello is pulling the strings.
163
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,350
And he'll run things
the way we tell him,
164
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:43,549
because once again we saved his life.
165
00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:46,349
I may be African, and I may be naive,
166
00:18:46,399 --> 00:18:48,249
but if you ask me...
167
00:18:48,299 --> 00:18:52,549
you're simplifying the future
to an unhealthy degree.
168
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:56,448
I'm in agreement
with our African colleague.
169
00:18:56,998 --> 00:18:58,148
What do you mean by that?
170
00:18:58,198 --> 00:19:03,848
That you've forgotten
to ask one fundamental question.
171
00:19:07,898 --> 00:19:11,447
What's Spencer going to do now
172
00:19:11,497 --> 00:19:15,847
that his beloved, detested prot�g�
173
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has become pope?
174
00:19:50,594 --> 00:19:55,594
"My God, my God,
why have you forsaken me?"
175
00:19:56,594 --> 00:19:59,444
said Jesus before he was about to die.
176
00:20:00,394 --> 00:20:03,793
Which is what I say to you now,
before I begin to live.
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00:20:04,893 --> 00:20:07,043
God's infinite silence...
178
00:20:10,593 --> 00:20:13,043
God's infinite silence...
179
00:20:14,393 --> 00:20:16,643
God's infinite silence.
180
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:52,340
Your Holiness... your sins.
181
00:20:53,790 --> 00:20:55,840
I don't have any sins to confess.
182
00:20:58,490 --> 00:21:01,089
- Are you serious?
- My only sin,
183
00:21:01,139 --> 00:21:03,839
and it's an enormous one,
184
00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:07,589
is that my conscience
does not accuse me of anything.
185
00:21:10,489 --> 00:21:13,638
Ego te absolvo peccatis
tuis in nomine Patris,
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00:21:13,688 --> 00:21:16,988
et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.
187
00:21:25,238 --> 00:21:29,587
If I always heard confessions
like yours, Your Holiness,
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00:21:29,637 --> 00:21:31,587
I'd be out of a job.
189
00:21:34,587 --> 00:21:38,737
How many confessions do you hear
in the Vatican, Don Tommaso?
190
00:21:38,787 --> 00:21:39,987
Me?
191
00:21:41,386 --> 00:21:45,786
The entire Curia,
a good number of nuns and priests,
192
00:21:45,836 --> 00:21:49,886
as well as several lay employees
who work in Vatican City.
193
00:22:03,885 --> 00:22:05,485
How old are you?
194
00:22:06,535 --> 00:22:08,834
Sixty-one.
195
00:22:08,884 --> 00:22:11,234
And how's your eyesight?
196
00:22:11,284 --> 00:22:13,834
I don't even wear glasses.
197
00:22:13,884 --> 00:22:16,134
And your hearing?
198
00:22:16,184 --> 00:22:19,534
My only problem is my hair,
Your Holiness.
199
00:22:19,584 --> 00:22:21,733
You mean it's falling out?
200
00:22:21,783 --> 00:22:24,933
Not only that. Sometimes it hurts.
201
00:22:26,883 --> 00:22:28,633
Your hair hurts?
202
00:22:32,383 --> 00:22:34,983
Good, very good!
203
00:22:42,282 --> 00:22:45,382
I'll be frank, Don Tommaso,
I need you.
204
00:22:46,082 --> 00:22:48,232
You must do something very important
205
00:22:48,282 --> 00:22:50,331
for the eminency of your pontiff.
206
00:22:50,381 --> 00:22:52,531
Whatever you wish,
Holy Father. Tell me.
207
00:22:52,581 --> 00:22:55,181
Come then, I'll tell you
in the confessional.
208
00:22:56,781 --> 00:22:59,931
Confessional booths are so beautiful.
209
00:22:59,981 --> 00:23:02,281
They look like little mountain huts.
210
00:23:03,380 --> 00:23:05,630
Do you like the mountains?
211
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,380
I don't like the snow.
212
00:23:17,079 --> 00:23:19,279
Here's what I want you to do.
213
00:23:43,778 --> 00:23:46,327
Behold the Naples trinity, Federico.
214
00:23:46,377 --> 00:23:47,527
Your Eminence.
215
00:23:47,577 --> 00:23:49,577
Do you know how many books
have been written about me?
216
00:23:49,627 --> 00:23:51,727
- Seventeen.
- Eighteen.
217
00:23:51,777 --> 00:23:54,327
The last one's going to press
next week,
218
00:23:54,377 --> 00:23:56,327
and it's got the best title of all.
219
00:23:56,377 --> 00:23:59,926
- Which is?
- The Man Behind the Scenes.
220
00:23:59,976 --> 00:24:03,326
- Beautiful.
- Of course. I suggested it myself.
221
00:24:03,376 --> 00:24:07,326
- Who wrote it?
- Manna, that leftist reporter.
222
00:24:07,376 --> 00:24:09,726
That means it's going
to be critical of you, Your Eminence.
223
00:24:09,776 --> 00:24:13,325
Of course, those are the best.
They turn you into a legend.
224
00:24:15,175 --> 00:24:18,425
Don't overdo it now, or people
will know you're faking it.
225
00:24:18,475 --> 00:24:20,825
Forgive me, Eminence,
but that was a good one.
226
00:24:20,875 --> 00:24:23,125
You should laugh, but in proportion.
227
00:24:30,074 --> 00:24:31,224
Valente.
228
00:24:32,574 --> 00:24:34,874
- His Holiness?
- He's at the Heliport.
229
00:24:34,924 --> 00:24:36,974
He just got here,
and he already wants to leave?
230
00:24:38,324 --> 00:24:39,573
Now you could have laughed
a little more.
231
00:24:39,623 --> 00:24:42,373
He sent me to tell you he'll be late
for your meeting, Eminence.
232
00:24:42,423 --> 00:24:45,923
Okay, but if you see him,
tell him not to be too late,
233
00:24:45,973 --> 00:24:48,323
because I, unlike him,
have a lot to do.
234
00:24:48,373 --> 00:24:50,623
I've got to steer this boat,
235
00:24:50,673 --> 00:24:52,973
which that indecisive
fisherman Peter left me.
236
00:24:54,972 --> 00:24:58,722
Valente, what do you make of him?
237
00:24:58,772 --> 00:25:03,522
He's a man of little appetite.
Actually... very little.
238
00:25:03,572 --> 00:25:07,571
This is not a good sign.
Not a good sign.
239
00:26:54,464 --> 00:26:55,864
Ma'.
240
00:26:56,864 --> 00:26:59,413
Don't ever call me Ma'.
Call me Sister Mary.
241
00:27:03,263 --> 00:27:04,863
What's that?
242
00:27:08,263 --> 00:27:09,563
My father gave it to me.
243
00:27:09,613 --> 00:27:12,612
You can give it to me if you like.
I'll hold on to it for you.
244
00:27:12,662 --> 00:27:15,662
No. My father said that I
should always keep it with me.
245
00:27:38,261 --> 00:27:39,710
Lenny!
246
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:41,760
Sister Mary.
247
00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:49,710
Here you are, my saint.
248
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:53,059
- No, I'm not a saint.
- Yes.
249
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:57,159
Do you still have it on you?
250
00:28:01,259 --> 00:28:02,559
Always.
251
00:28:05,259 --> 00:28:06,908
What's this?
252
00:28:08,758 --> 00:28:11,558
A replica of the grotto
of Our Lady of Lourdes.
253
00:28:11,608 --> 00:28:13,258
It's being restored.
254
00:28:14,308 --> 00:28:18,808
From now on, you're going to be living
at the exact center of the Church.
255
00:28:25,057 --> 00:28:26,657
But I don't understand.
What does that mean?
256
00:28:26,707 --> 00:28:30,507
That means that just now
257
00:28:30,557 --> 00:28:33,407
the center of the Church
took a few steps back.
258
00:28:39,256 --> 00:28:41,806
Do you like the apartment?
259
00:28:41,856 --> 00:28:43,506
I'll be just fine here.
260
00:28:43,556 --> 00:28:45,206
You're only a few feet away from me.
261
00:28:45,256 --> 00:28:48,955
On the plane I read
this amusing description of Rome:
262
00:28:49,555 --> 00:28:51,555
"A suburb of Vatican City."
263
00:28:52,155 --> 00:28:55,605
Well, that's not exactly true,
264
00:28:56,555 --> 00:28:57,555
but it will be.
265
00:29:17,353 --> 00:29:18,853
What's wrong, Lenny?
266
00:29:21,803 --> 00:29:23,953
What's not wrong, Sister Mary.
267
00:29:29,452 --> 00:29:31,102
North is that way.
268
00:29:33,202 --> 00:29:34,802
Where Venice is.
269
00:29:43,351 --> 00:29:45,251
Listen to me, Lenny.
270
00:29:46,351 --> 00:29:49,101
Starting today,
you have to lead the Church.
271
00:29:49,701 --> 00:29:51,851
One billion people.
272
00:29:51,901 --> 00:29:53,551
One fifth of the world's population.
273
00:29:53,601 --> 00:29:56,251
Do you understand
what I'm saying, Lenny?
274
00:29:56,850 --> 00:30:00,600
One billion people will depend
on what you say and do.
275
00:30:00,650 --> 00:30:04,800
They'll make important decisions,
happy or sad,
276
00:30:04,850 --> 00:30:06,250
of life or death,
277
00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:09,600
in order to obey you,
in the name of God.
278
00:30:10,749 --> 00:30:14,549
All of this creates a new perspective.
279
00:30:15,149 --> 00:30:17,049
An immense perspective.
280
00:30:18,649 --> 00:30:23,899
Now, your personal aches,
your enormous sufferings,
281
00:30:23,948 --> 00:30:25,798
your terrible memories...
282
00:30:25,848 --> 00:30:28,298
It's a harsh thing to say,
Lenny, but I have to say it,
283
00:30:28,348 --> 00:30:32,098
they must take a back seat.
284
00:30:32,148 --> 00:30:33,898
They are things of this earth.
285
00:30:33,948 --> 00:30:37,847
Do you understand
what I'm saying, Lenny?
286
00:30:37,897 --> 00:30:40,797
I know all your sorrows,
287
00:30:40,847 --> 00:30:42,597
I've lived with them
together with you,
288
00:30:42,647 --> 00:30:44,897
I've wept over them with you,
289
00:30:44,947 --> 00:30:46,947
but now the time has come for you
290
00:30:46,997 --> 00:30:49,447
to let your sorrows to fade,
291
00:30:50,547 --> 00:30:54,546
to become irrelevant,
distant memories,
292
00:30:54,596 --> 00:30:58,996
insignificant, vanquished,
destroyed and overpowered
293
00:30:59,046 --> 00:31:02,796
by the terrible responsibility
that God has given you.
294
00:31:04,846 --> 00:31:07,345
From now on,
you are no longer Lenny Belardo,
295
00:31:07,395 --> 00:31:09,945
the fatherless, motherless boy.
296
00:31:11,145 --> 00:31:12,745
From now on,
297
00:31:13,945 --> 00:31:17,245
you are Pope Pius XIII,
298
00:31:17,295 --> 00:31:22,644
Father and Mother
of the entire Catholic Church.
299
00:31:40,643 --> 00:31:44,293
Allow me to say,
Your Holiness, what joy!
300
00:31:44,343 --> 00:31:46,293
What joy!
301
00:31:46,343 --> 00:31:50,592
The Holy Spirit could not
have illumined us in a better manner.
302
00:31:50,642 --> 00:31:53,992
In the name of the entire Church,
welcome.
303
00:31:54,042 --> 00:31:58,042
May your pontificate be long,
radiant, and fruitful.
304
00:31:59,092 --> 00:32:01,041
Let's settle for long.
305
00:32:02,841 --> 00:32:04,391
What a telling joke!
306
00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:09,941
Jokes are never telling.
They're jokes.
307
00:32:11,741 --> 00:32:14,191
Well, Holy father,
308
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,490
first of all,
a small piece of information
309
00:32:16,540 --> 00:32:19,590
of a practical
and picturesque nature...
310
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:23,090
Under your desk, on the right,
you will find a button.
311
00:32:23,140 --> 00:32:26,590
If you feel that an encounter
is becoming disagreeable
312
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:27,840
or a waste of time,
313
00:32:27,890 --> 00:32:30,789
all you have to do is
to press it discreetly,
314
00:32:30,839 --> 00:32:34,189
and an assistant will swiftly appear
with some excuse,
315
00:32:34,239 --> 00:32:37,189
liberating you from your engagement.
316
00:32:37,239 --> 00:32:38,939
He'll lie, in other words.
317
00:32:38,989 --> 00:32:43,588
Yes, but he'll have plenty of time
and opportunity to repent.
318
00:32:49,188 --> 00:32:51,388
Well, Holy Father, if you agree,
319
00:32:51,438 --> 00:32:55,438
I would like to start
with our top priorities.
320
00:32:55,488 --> 00:32:57,987
The most urgent of them all
321
00:32:58,037 --> 00:33:01,087
is your first homily
in Saint Peter's Square.
322
00:33:01,137 --> 00:33:03,487
There is a great deal
of agitation about it,
323
00:33:03,537 --> 00:33:05,987
something which I, in my long career,
324
00:33:06,037 --> 00:33:07,987
have never quite seen before.
325
00:33:08,537 --> 00:33:12,586
The entire office of the Secretary
of State is working on it.
326
00:33:12,636 --> 00:33:16,436
I myself worked all night long
on a rough draft,
327
00:33:16,486 --> 00:33:18,486
which I would like to submit you.
328
00:33:18,536 --> 00:33:20,986
The press and the faithful
who are coming here
329
00:33:21,036 --> 00:33:23,485
from every corner of the globe
330
00:33:23,535 --> 00:33:27,985
were all convinced that you were going
to deliver your homily today.
331
00:33:28,035 --> 00:33:31,685
We did an excellent job
at calming their spirits,
332
00:33:31,735 --> 00:33:33,735
but at the same time, Your Holiness,
333
00:33:33,785 --> 00:33:37,934
I am sorry to say
that we can only delay for so long.
334
00:33:37,984 --> 00:33:40,834
Tomorrow would be ideal.
335
00:33:40,884 --> 00:33:44,834
There, this is the
most pressing issue.
336
00:33:46,434 --> 00:33:51,183
The most pressing issue is my need
for a cup of American coffee.
337
00:33:52,533 --> 00:33:55,083
Would you make me one, Your Eminence?
338
00:33:55,133 --> 00:33:58,433
Certainly. Amatucci.
339
00:33:58,483 --> 00:33:59,933
I didn't ask him.
340
00:34:01,183 --> 00:34:02,833
I asked you.
341
00:34:05,532 --> 00:34:08,332
It will be a pleasure
and an honor for me
342
00:34:08,382 --> 00:34:10,832
to bring you coffee, Your Holiness.
343
00:34:31,631 --> 00:34:34,880
- Thank you, Your Eminence.
- It's my duty, Blessed Father.
344
00:35:06,628 --> 00:35:09,478
Holy Father, now, about your homily,
345
00:35:09,528 --> 00:35:12,678
how would we like to proceed, then?
346
00:35:12,728 --> 00:35:13,977
Later.
347
00:35:14,027 --> 00:35:17,577
And has the Holy Father
already thought of some candidates
348
00:35:17,627 --> 00:35:20,177
for the delicate role
of a special assistant?
349
00:35:20,227 --> 00:35:22,177
- I have an idea.
- I do too.
350
00:35:22,227 --> 00:35:23,827
Monsignor Gemelli comes to mind...
351
00:35:23,877 --> 00:35:26,527
My idea is Sister Mary.
352
00:35:32,226 --> 00:35:35,026
An admirable idea, Your Holiness,
353
00:35:35,076 --> 00:35:38,476
and completely understandable.
354
00:35:38,526 --> 00:35:41,125
Allow me to add, however,
that unfortunately,
355
00:35:41,175 --> 00:35:44,275
the Curia has complex mechanisms
356
00:35:44,325 --> 00:35:48,925
which might seem like astrophysics.
357
00:35:48,975 --> 00:35:53,075
Therefore, the Holy Father's
inevitable lack of experience,
358
00:35:53,125 --> 00:35:57,374
together with Sister Mary's
inevitable lack of experience
359
00:35:57,424 --> 00:36:00,674
would lead me to suggest
an internal contribution...
360
00:36:00,724 --> 00:36:05,374
Of course I realize how central
Sister Mary seems to you.
361
00:36:05,424 --> 00:36:09,473
We could invent
a sort of ad hoc role for her.
362
00:36:09,523 --> 00:36:12,473
We won't lack for imagination
around here.
363
00:36:13,623 --> 00:36:14,823
Yeah.
364
00:36:16,223 --> 00:36:19,823
You're exactly right, Voiello.
She's central.
365
00:36:20,523 --> 00:36:24,572
Sister Mary took me in at her orphanage
when I was 7 years old,
366
00:36:24,622 --> 00:36:27,472
she raised me and she loved me.
She made me a good Christian.
367
00:36:27,522 --> 00:36:29,022
A great Christian!
368
00:36:31,922 --> 00:36:35,272
Monsignor Gemelli is experienced,
I would rely on him.
369
00:36:35,322 --> 00:36:37,521
Perhaps you didn't hear me correctly.
370
00:36:38,421 --> 00:36:42,721
Perhaps, Holy Father.
My English does have its limits.
371
00:36:42,771 --> 00:36:44,221
You'd better improve it then.
372
00:36:45,921 --> 00:36:49,771
Sister Mary
will be my special assistant.
373
00:36:49,821 --> 00:36:52,170
As you wish, Holy Father.
374
00:36:52,220 --> 00:36:55,470
Then, of course,
there is the matter of drafting
375
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:59,470
and delivering your address
to the College of Cardinals.
376
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,220
They're all still here.
377
00:37:01,270 --> 00:37:04,669
They will not leave the Vatican
until you address them.
378
00:37:06,069 --> 00:37:07,169
Later.
379
00:37:07,219 --> 00:37:09,769
In the office of the Secretary,
380
00:37:09,819 --> 00:37:12,219
we have been wondering
if the Holy Father
381
00:37:12,269 --> 00:37:15,669
would care to provide us
with some indications
382
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,868
regarding the draft of an encyclical.
383
00:37:18,918 --> 00:37:20,218
Later.
384
00:37:21,468 --> 00:37:23,468
The prefects
of the various congregations
385
00:37:23,518 --> 00:37:27,318
are of course eager
to see you with their own eyes.
386
00:37:27,368 --> 00:37:31,667
But I imagine that you would like
to deal with this matter... later?
387
00:37:32,617 --> 00:37:34,217
No, now.
388
00:37:34,817 --> 00:37:38,817
First off, I want to meet the Prefect
for the Congregation for the Clergy.
389
00:37:41,417 --> 00:37:43,567
At any rate, Holy Father,
390
00:37:43,617 --> 00:37:47,866
I understand your reluctance
about the encyclical.
391
00:37:47,916 --> 00:37:50,366
Your predecessor
always made me laugh
392
00:37:50,416 --> 00:37:52,066
when he said that...
393
00:37:52,116 --> 00:37:56,566
an encyclical is like Proust's
"In Search of Lost Time".
394
00:37:56,616 --> 00:38:00,115
"Everyone quotes it,
but no one reads it."
395
00:38:12,115 --> 00:38:13,764
Are you sleeping, Holy Father?
396
00:38:15,814 --> 00:38:17,464
No Your Eminence, I'm praying.
397
00:38:19,314 --> 00:38:20,564
For you.
398
00:38:31,413 --> 00:38:34,263
Stop looking at the Venus
of Willendorf in that way.
399
00:38:47,962 --> 00:38:50,412
Holy Father, Holy Father,
400
00:38:50,462 --> 00:38:53,162
smoking is not allowed
in the papal palace!
401
00:38:54,711 --> 00:38:56,211
Is that so?
402
00:38:58,011 --> 00:39:01,261
- Who decided that?
- John Paul II.
403
00:39:01,311 --> 00:39:04,261
- The Pope?
- Yes, the Pope.
404
00:39:04,311 --> 00:39:05,811
There's a new Pope now.
405
00:39:07,711 --> 00:39:09,310
True.
406
00:39:12,110 --> 00:39:14,360
- Your Eminence...
- Yes, Holy Father.
407
00:39:14,410 --> 00:39:17,010
You're too tied to the past.
408
00:39:17,060 --> 00:39:20,810
They say the same thing about you,
Your Holiness.
409
00:39:22,509 --> 00:39:26,559
The past is an enormous place,
with all sorts of things inside.
410
00:39:28,309 --> 00:39:30,109
Not so with the present.
411
00:39:30,909 --> 00:39:32,909
The present is merely
a narrow opening,
412
00:39:32,959 --> 00:39:35,358
with room for only one pair of eyes.
413
00:39:37,408 --> 00:39:39,058
Mine.
414
00:40:05,056 --> 00:40:07,806
- Your eminence.
- Yes.
415
00:40:08,706 --> 00:40:10,656
Our top priorities.
416
00:40:10,706 --> 00:40:13,156
Here I am. As I was saying...
417
00:40:13,206 --> 00:40:16,556
You will be in charge of politics,
418
00:40:16,606 --> 00:40:19,455
finance, theology,
419
00:40:19,505 --> 00:40:21,855
appointments and promotions.
420
00:40:21,905 --> 00:40:24,455
I will take care of worldly matters,
421
00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:27,555
travel, adulation of the masses,
celebrations.
422
00:40:27,605 --> 00:40:31,304
A most effective division
of roles, Holy Father.
423
00:40:32,904 --> 00:40:35,754
- Your Eminence.
- Yes, Blessed Father?
424
00:40:35,804 --> 00:40:37,504
I was just kidding.
425
00:40:38,804 --> 00:40:42,004
- That wasn't obvious?
- Hardly!
426
00:40:42,804 --> 00:40:47,653
So, as I was saying,
our top priorities are...
427
00:40:48,203 --> 00:40:51,903
One: the Radio Vatican
signal needs boosting.
428
00:40:51,953 --> 00:40:55,453
It is unacceptable
that reception is so poor.
429
00:40:55,503 --> 00:41:00,202
Two: the pope wants to see
all the gifts the pope receives.
430
00:41:00,252 --> 00:41:04,302
Have a storage facility fitted out
for storing all the gifts I receive.
431
00:41:04,352 --> 00:41:08,552
Three: the Vatican must immediately
buy back the papal tiara
432
00:41:08,602 --> 00:41:11,452
from the basilica in Washington DC,
433
00:41:11,502 --> 00:41:16,701
which my predecessors,
who favoured sobriety over tradition,
434
00:41:16,751 --> 00:41:18,701
imprudently let go.
435
00:41:19,501 --> 00:41:20,801
And four...
436
00:41:21,751 --> 00:41:25,700
Sister Mary will also look after you.
437
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,150
She will oversee all your activities
438
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:32,100
and report directly back to me.
439
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,200
She will be your guardian angel.
440
00:41:38,300 --> 00:41:41,449
I'm sixty years, Holy Father.
441
00:41:41,499 --> 00:41:43,349
I don't need a guardian angel.
442
00:41:43,399 --> 00:41:46,849
Oh, we all need a guardian angel,
Voiello.
443
00:41:46,899 --> 00:41:50,499
Especially unscrupulous,
ambiguous men.
444
00:41:51,199 --> 00:41:54,448
Then, please,
allow me to choose mine myself.
445
00:41:54,498 --> 00:41:56,648
In another life.
446
00:41:56,698 --> 00:41:58,648
In this life,
447
00:41:58,698 --> 00:42:02,348
the Pope chooses
your guardian angel for you.
448
00:42:02,398 --> 00:42:06,148
And he is the Pope.
449
00:42:07,097 --> 00:42:09,397
Did you call for me, Holy Father?
450
00:42:37,495 --> 00:42:38,895
Papa!
451
00:42:49,294 --> 00:42:52,644
It all comes back to this
in the end, doesn't it?
452
00:42:52,694 --> 00:42:54,194
To the mother.
453
00:42:58,194 --> 00:43:00,994
How was your mother like,
Monsignor Gutierrez?
454
00:43:04,443 --> 00:43:08,893
She was a woman
who did not scorn wickedness.
455
00:43:08,943 --> 00:43:12,643
And it had the effect of creating
a son full of goodness.
456
00:43:14,393 --> 00:43:16,242
I've inquired about you.
457
00:43:17,542 --> 00:43:21,192
Everyone tells me you are
a shining example of goodness.
458
00:43:22,492 --> 00:43:25,442
I thank you for believing them,
Holy Father.
459
00:43:26,892 --> 00:43:28,792
It is I who should thank you,
460
00:43:28,842 --> 00:43:32,141
for allowing me to be here
without hordes of tourists.
461
00:43:32,191 --> 00:43:34,341
That's my duty, Holy Father.
462
00:43:34,391 --> 00:43:37,141
Was it hard?
To close off the Basilica to tourists?
463
00:43:37,191 --> 00:43:41,541
No, no, all we had to do
was hang up a sign saying "closed".
464
00:43:52,740 --> 00:43:56,390
I will never shed
my aversion to tourists.
465
00:43:58,389 --> 00:44:00,489
Why is that, Holy Father?
466
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,889
Because they are just passing through.
467
00:44:16,338 --> 00:44:20,738
I was late
because I couldn't find your office.
468
00:44:20,788 --> 00:44:23,088
I know. You opened the wrong door
469
00:44:23,138 --> 00:44:26,437
and found yourself face to face
with some visitors to our museum.
470
00:44:26,487 --> 00:44:29,537
Oh, you've been inquired about me too.
471
00:44:29,587 --> 00:44:33,537
It's very difficult to keep
anything secret here in the Vatican.
472
00:44:34,537 --> 00:44:37,137
Rumors fly so quickly
473
00:44:37,187 --> 00:44:41,486
that sometimes they arrive
even before the event has taken place.
474
00:44:42,586 --> 00:44:46,186
That's quite a useful piece
of information for my future.
475
00:44:46,236 --> 00:44:49,536
Which is exactly what it was
intended to be, Holy Father.
476
00:44:50,186 --> 00:44:53,735
What is one to do, Monsignor?
477
00:44:53,785 --> 00:44:58,135
It's the times.
In America, we call it gossip.
478
00:44:58,685 --> 00:45:02,185
Here in the Vatican
we call it calumny.
479
00:45:03,285 --> 00:45:04,685
This way.
480
00:45:16,434 --> 00:45:19,234
How many years
have you been at the Vatican?
481
00:45:19,284 --> 00:45:21,883
So many that I've stopped to counting.
482
00:45:21,933 --> 00:45:23,633
Do you like it here?
483
00:45:23,683 --> 00:45:26,233
Yes, I feel safe here.
484
00:45:27,933 --> 00:45:31,283
It's as if time were dead.
485
00:45:34,682 --> 00:45:36,282
Speaking of that time,
486
00:45:36,332 --> 00:45:38,582
the other day, during the Conclave,
487
00:45:38,632 --> 00:45:40,532
I read an Italian newspaper.
488
00:45:41,782 --> 00:45:46,682
It was an article
about this politician
489
00:45:46,732 --> 00:45:50,031
who had hidden some compromising files
490
00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:53,331
in the gaps
between the walls of his house.
491
00:45:53,381 --> 00:45:55,431
Yes, I read about that as well.
492
00:45:55,981 --> 00:45:57,681
I thought...
493
00:46:00,281 --> 00:46:03,880
I wouldn't need to hide anything
in the gaps in my house.
494
00:46:06,630 --> 00:46:09,180
Because my mind is a gap.
495
00:46:10,430 --> 00:46:14,930
And everything that is hidden from me,
496
00:46:16,279 --> 00:46:18,079
sooner or later...
497
00:46:20,029 --> 00:46:21,279
is revealed.
498
00:46:23,779 --> 00:46:27,979
As if it were being entrusted to me.
499
00:46:31,678 --> 00:46:34,528
A precious skill
for leading the Church.
500
00:46:37,878 --> 00:46:40,078
It's not a skill, Gutierrez...
501
00:46:42,877 --> 00:46:44,227
it's my destiny.
502
00:47:36,774 --> 00:47:41,173
Federico, do you know why
all the good souls of this world
503
00:47:41,223 --> 00:47:44,823
- rage against power?
- Why, Your Eminence?
504
00:47:44,873 --> 00:47:47,773
Because they simply don't know
what it is.
505
00:47:49,173 --> 00:47:50,523
What is it?
506
00:47:51,622 --> 00:47:53,922
Power is knowledge.
507
00:47:55,672 --> 00:47:58,922
What is it you want to know, Eminence?
508
00:47:59,472 --> 00:48:04,172
Who is Pius XIII? Or rather,
who was Lenny Belardo?
509
00:48:04,822 --> 00:48:07,521
You need to carry out
a small investigation,
510
00:48:07,571 --> 00:48:09,921
discreet but thorough.
511
00:48:09,971 --> 00:48:13,571
His week spots, traumas
and tribulations, his sins.
512
00:48:14,771 --> 00:48:16,421
Especially his sins.
513
00:48:16,971 --> 00:48:18,621
Because the sins we commit in the past
514
00:48:18,671 --> 00:48:22,320
are the same ones
we'll commit in the future.
515
00:48:22,370 --> 00:48:26,770
Because man is like God.
He never changes.
516
00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:29,420
I'll start right in.
517
00:48:29,470 --> 00:48:32,020
But is the situation
of this papacy already that serious?
518
00:48:32,070 --> 00:48:36,119
No, not yet.
But if it were to become so,
519
00:48:36,169 --> 00:48:37,319
we'll be ready.
520
00:48:39,469 --> 00:48:42,219
Because the powerful
may have knowledge,
521
00:48:43,519 --> 00:48:46,669
but they don't realize what it takes
to be more powerful than anyone else.
522
00:48:49,018 --> 00:48:50,768
And what does it take?
523
00:48:50,818 --> 00:48:53,118
See how beautiful it is?
524
00:48:53,168 --> 00:48:55,568
It takes getting knowledge
before anyone else does.
525
00:48:56,368 --> 00:48:57,668
Fabulous.
526
00:49:06,717 --> 00:49:08,817
Go on, Tommaso, don't be afraid.
527
00:49:11,217 --> 00:49:14,267
But violating the secret
of the confessional is...
528
00:49:14,316 --> 00:49:15,416
No, no, it's not.
529
00:49:15,466 --> 00:49:18,916
Not if the information
is intended for me, the Pontiff,
530
00:49:18,966 --> 00:49:21,266
and is for the survival of our Church.
531
00:49:24,366 --> 00:49:26,166
Don't disappoint me, Tommaso.
532
00:49:26,216 --> 00:49:30,915
Your Holiness,
I'm just a poor, simple priest,
533
00:49:30,965 --> 00:49:33,615
and the secret of the confessional
534
00:49:33,665 --> 00:49:35,915
is the only respectable thing I have.
535
00:49:35,965 --> 00:49:38,965
Today. But think of tomorrow.
536
00:49:39,015 --> 00:49:42,514
Scarlet robes and the ring
are in your future.
537
00:49:43,964 --> 00:49:48,114
The cardinalship, my dear.
Which is much more respectable.
538
00:49:50,414 --> 00:49:52,564
What if someone hears us?
539
00:49:54,064 --> 00:49:56,013
Only he can hear us up here.
540
00:49:57,663 --> 00:49:59,563
Who knows where he is?
541
00:50:03,563 --> 00:50:06,063
There! By the big dipper.
542
00:50:07,963 --> 00:50:09,812
That's where God's house is.
543
00:50:11,062 --> 00:50:14,462
God's house! What's it like?
544
00:50:15,162 --> 00:50:19,512
Half of a duplex,
with a private swimming pool.
545
00:50:22,262 --> 00:50:24,561
Come on now, tell me people's sins.
546
00:50:27,461 --> 00:50:28,661
Well...
547
00:50:30,811 --> 00:50:34,111
have I already told you
about Voiello's impure thoughts
548
00:50:34,161 --> 00:50:36,661
about the Venus of Willendorf?
549
00:50:36,711 --> 00:50:39,560
Yes, yes you told me already.
What else?
550
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,760
No, nothing...
551
00:50:49,110 --> 00:50:52,059
Cardinal Aguirre did an imitation
552
00:50:52,109 --> 00:50:54,909
of you today, Your Holiness.
553
00:50:54,959 --> 00:50:57,609
- Everyone laughed.
- Did you laugh?
554
00:51:03,759 --> 00:51:07,858
Yes, but to myself. So no one noticed.
555
00:51:08,908 --> 00:51:11,708
Good. What else?
556
00:51:14,858 --> 00:51:19,307
Everybody is wondering
who Sister Mary is to you,
557
00:51:19,357 --> 00:51:21,057
what she's doing here.
558
00:51:22,407 --> 00:51:24,057
What else?
559
00:51:24,107 --> 00:51:26,857
Everybody is also wondering:
560
00:51:26,907 --> 00:51:30,657
is the Pope thinking
about his first homily?
561
00:51:31,957 --> 00:51:34,156
I ask myself
the same thing all the time.
562
00:51:34,206 --> 00:51:35,856
Of course I'm thinking about it.
563
00:51:37,506 --> 00:51:40,706
It's all I think about.
I even dreamed about it.
564
00:51:43,356 --> 00:51:45,406
I'm let you in on a secret:
565
00:51:46,605 --> 00:51:49,655
ever since I was little, I've learned
to confound people's ideas
566
00:51:49,705 --> 00:51:51,955
on what's going on in my head.
567
00:51:53,055 --> 00:51:55,205
You're so wise, Holy Father.
568
00:51:56,155 --> 00:51:57,705
Not only that,
569
00:51:58,755 --> 00:52:03,154
I'm also intransigent, irritable,
570
00:52:04,904 --> 00:52:06,554
vindictive...
571
00:52:09,054 --> 00:52:11,804
and I have a prodigious memory.
572
00:52:13,154 --> 00:52:15,403
And now I want to make my confession.
573
00:52:15,453 --> 00:52:19,603
- Fine. Let's go back downstairs...
- No, here.
574
00:52:20,653 --> 00:52:22,003
Before the house of God.
575
00:52:22,903 --> 00:52:25,403
Oh... okay.
576
00:52:29,302 --> 00:52:32,402
In nomine Patris,
et Filii et Spiritus Sancti.
577
00:52:32,452 --> 00:52:36,752
God, my conscience does not accuse me,
578
00:52:37,702 --> 00:52:41,651
because you do not believe
I am capable of repenting.
579
00:52:42,751 --> 00:52:45,201
And therefore,
I do not believe in you.
580
00:52:46,651 --> 00:52:50,401
I don't believe you are capable
of saving me from myself.
581
00:52:51,851 --> 00:52:55,500
Holy father, what are you saying?
582
00:52:57,700 --> 00:53:00,800
I'm saying that I don't believe in God,
Tommaso.
583
00:53:00,850 --> 00:53:03,300
What are you saying, Blessed Father?
584
00:53:03,350 --> 00:53:04,900
Tommaso, Tommaso.
585
00:53:08,650 --> 00:53:09,849
I was joking.
44724
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