Original subtitles

- All right, you got three options here.

You could play the green card,

you could play the five, or draw.

Oh-ho-ho, Wild Draw Four!

Somebody is in trouble.

- It can be kind of scary in the ER when you're a kid,

but we have some games on hand to keep things light.

- Draw four.

- I won't, and here's why.

See, you weren't allowed to put that down, Madison,

because you have another green card you can play.

- OK, I'll play this one.

- Oh, I wish, but no, you misplayed.

So technically, you draw four and lose a turn, so...

- We don't have to play that way.

- Yeah, well, Mattel says we do.

- You know what? Madison needs to rest.

So why don't we just say that she won this one,

and we'll just wrap it up, OK?

- Wait, I have Uno.

- You are the adult, Bruce.

- I can't believe it. - I know.

- Well, you did it. Congratulations, Madison.

- Oh! - Yeah.

- Yes. Nice job. - Nice job.

[applause] - No, well done.

[upbeat music]

? ?

- Hey, Joyce, are we ever gonna hire

a new pharmacy tech to replace Jared?

- Yeah, I don't think he's coming back.

Apparently, the indictment is rock solid.

- New pharmacy tech.

One, two, three- post a listing.

- Joyce, where do you wanna source the new antigen test?

Because I've got, like, 13 that are waiting-

- One, two, three- Dunhill Labs, baby.

Anyone else, huh? Bring it.

After the birthing center failed inspection,

I was questioning everything.

I couldn't make decisions.

I wasn't listening to my Joyce voice.

And then I had one of those mornings

where I was just like, I can't do it.

I can't face any of it.

Well, sometimes doomscrolling works,

because I found this.

It's about making decisions in three seconds.

In the back of your mind, you already know

what you're gonna do, so why agonize over it?

- Hey, Joyce, are you feeling OK?

- Oh, I'm better than OK.

I am cruising.

This book I just read? Oh!

So much of our hemming and hawing

is just delaying what we want to do anyway.

So I said naw to the haw, and I'm just doing it.

- Wow, kind of like that new Alaris pump

that you've been dragging your heels on?

Wanna pull the trigger on that? - Hmm.

One, two, three-yes. [elevator dings]

- Wait, seriously?

Um, OK.

Uh, hey, um, how about

a reserved parking spot for your favorite charge nurse?

- One, two, three-you got it. [laughs]

- Oh, my-really? - Yeah!

- That's amazing.

Ha!

OK.

Oh, I should have asked for a raise.

- So this lady paints the bricks white.

I'm not kidding.

Ruins the entire character of the fireplace.

Needless to say, we all start flaming her in the comments.

- And how are you involved in all of this?

- It just hit my feed.

God, I was so pissed.

- 115-swallowed a marble from the Hungry Hungry Hippos game.

- Oh, is it still in the stomach?

- Still waiting on imaging, but he seems agitated.

- OK. - Poor kid.

He's probably totally freaked out.

- Yeah.

- Knock, knock.

Doctor's coming in.

- Oh, hello, old friends.

- What is this?

- Not a social visit, I'm afraid.

Today I come to you as one of the infirm.

- I'm sorry. Am I supposed to know you?

- Sanderson.

Joyce's boyfriend?

- Huh. It's not clicking for me.

Look, we're, uh, trying to find a kid who swallowed a marble.

- And you've found him.

The marble eater is me.

You'll wanna reach out to my emergency contact...

- Wow. - Dr. Joyce Henderson.

I believe you know her.

- Why don't you call her?

- I refuse to answer any more questions

until my emergency contact is present!

[coughing]

- OK.

- Yeah.

- Ooh, reserved parking spot.

OK, diva!

- Right? Look at it. [both laugh]

- Wow.

I guess management has its privileges.

- Must be nice.

- Oh, it's no big deal.

I mean, if anything, you know,

my car is more exposed out here.

Like, in this neighborhood, goodbye, hubcaps.

- I live in this neighborhood.

- And it is a charming and vibrant community.

[clears throat]

- Whoa, you get to park up here now?

- It's not-

- I thought this was just for, like, administrators

and whoever Compact is. - Matt.

- No, no, no, I'm happy for his success,

but the guy's got, like, six spots.

- It's not a big deal, Matt. - Well, we're gonna head in.

[chuckles] Congrats on the spot

and that new wig.

- As a charge nurse, I want good relationships

with all of my nurses.

Rene is my biggest challenge.

Our pattern has always been

one step forward, two steps back,

and then another step back, and maybe a tiny step forward,

but it turns out he was joking, and a few more steps back.

Uh, yeah. [laughs]

It's exciting.

- I just can't get my mind around this.

You were playing a kids' board game alone?

- My only regret is that you're gonna have to spend

the afternoon by my side.

But such is the bargain the emergency contact strikes.

- Oh, no, I-I can't stay.

- What? Jojo. - No, no.

I have so much to do.

I'm leaving you in very capable hands.

- What? Whose hands? Not my hands.

- You'll be fine, OK? - No.

- Yeah. You will.

- It's like I don't exist.

All her attention goes to this hospital,

and there's none left for me at all.

This whole thing has been a waste of time and marble.

- Are you saying you swallowed that marble on purpose

just to get Joyce's attention?

- Does it even matter?

- I think it does. - Yeah, it matters.

- She says she's busy,

but I can feel her pulling away.

[tearfully] And I'm gonna lose her.

- OK, this is hard to watch for a few reasons.

Look, when a man wants a woman, needs a woman,

it's incumbent on the other men in his life to support him.

So what we need to do is help this hungry hippo

gobble up the only marble that matters to him.

- Yes, the Joyce marble.

- That's right.

- I'm gonna go get those X-rays now.

- Sure. - [sighs]

[speaking Tagalog]

- [speaking Tagalog]

- Uh-oh.

Who's in trouble, huh?

I would not want to be them right now.

[laughs] - It's nothing.

It's just nurse stuff.

- Oh, well, you know, nurse present, so...

- [speaking Tagalog]

[laughter]

- [laughs] Rene, you are bad.

- I'm sorry, Matt, do you actually understand Tagalog?

- His brain's like a sponge, just not for work stuff.

- So seriously, though, what's going on?

- We're trying to get more money for continuing education,

but Joyce keeps blowing us off.

But seriously, it doesn't concern you.

- Joyce problem, huh?

Well, you know, I just might have a solution for you,

but it's OK if you don't wanna hear it.

No?

All right, well, let's just say if you and I go and see Joyce

right now and we talk to her together,

I think you have a pretty good chance

of getting what you want.

- Why would you do that for us?

- Oh, because I'm one of you-

one of us, you know?

We're the same.

- [chuckling]

- Listen, the cool thing about me is that I am a nurse,

but I also have the ear of management.

So, you know, what do you say?

Should we go and get that yes?

- Sure. - Great.

Hey, Joyce, do you have a second?

- Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out

how to delete an accidental "haha"

off a LinkedIn obituary post, so...

- Yeah, that sounds fun.

So Rene and I were talking, and he reminded me

that the hospital still isn't reimbursing nurses

for their continuing ed courses.

We think that it's really time for an answer on this.

- Right, right. Well, you know what?

I'm just a little underwater right now,

so if we could put a pin in this,

that'd be great. - Oh, are you sure?

You sure you don't wanna just, uh, trust your gut,

make a decision now?

- Of course. Of course.

You are absolutely right.

So one, two, three-

no, I can't do that.

If I do it for one department, I've got to do it

for all of them, and that's not gonna happen.

[sighs] Wow.

That felt amazing, right?

It's off our plates. [laughs]

So salamat for that.

[sighs] That's nice.

- They say we're valuable, but they don't act like it.

When it's time to put their money where their mouth is,

they refuse to pay up.

- OK, I'm so sorry, but I'm-

I'm not they.

You know, I'm you. Or I'm-I'm us.

We're a we. - You OK?

You sound like my dad trying to get my cousin's pronouns right.

- I'm fine, I just-I hate

how they don't recognize how valuable we all are.

I mean, can you imagine St. Denis without Sharice?

- I've only worked here a year and a half.

- And we are not going back.

- Kay, my point is, we have the power here.

Maybe it's time we remind everyone of that.

Maybe it's time for a walkout.

- OK. - Yes.

- Sorry, what do you mean by walkout?

Like, we just leave work?

- Yeah, it's our right as union members.

- That's true. Yeah.

It's more of a sacred right, though, you know?

Behind glass, locked away.

- Yeah, but if we leave, there won't be anybody

to work at the hospital.

They'll be so mad.

- [sighs] Yes, Matt, that's the whole point.

It's how we show our power.

- I mean, is that something people would be interested in?

Just raise your hand if you'd be into a walkout.

- Oh, wow. Wow.

Wow, look at that, all that nurse unity.

I love it.

Probably, you know, a little bit of peer pressure involved.

You know, no one wants to be the odd man out,

but that's-that's fine.

Uh, whoo!

- I have your image-

oh, you're already showing him his X-rays?

- No, Ron.

I'm showing him his future.

- What in the fresh hell is that?

- That is Sanderson 2.0.

If he wants to grab Joyce's attention,

then the guy needs to become undeniable-

a Gosling, a Hemsworth, a Schweitz.

- Is that a little skateboard?

- It's a fingerboard, boomer.

You ride them with your hands, and you learn dope-ass tricks.

- [chuckles] Cool. - It's very cool.

He needs a hobby.

Women see them as a competition for your time.

It drives them nuts.

- So your plan is to have Sanderson here

put on 200 pounds of muscle and then push around

a teeny tiny skateboard?

- Fingerboard, Ron! - Damn it.

No, what I'm proposing is a complete transformation.

So step one, we shave him down.

Need to work with a clean slate.

Don't you think, Ron? - I think this is insane.

- OK, Ron wants to keep the hair.

Interesting. But methinks it must go.

- Look, if you wanna get back on track with Joyce,

quit focusing on yourself.

It's not all about you!

- So you're saying I don't need to change,

and I'm perfect the way I am?

- Nope, didn't say that. I'd never say that.

If Joyce is stressed,

instead of demanding her attention,

take her out on a date.

Show her a good time.

And take this laxative.

- On the date? - No, man!

Take it now!

- [exhales]

- Joyce, what the hell was that about?

- Oh, I slap Miguel on the butt all the time.

We have that kind of relationship.

- No, I'm talking about Rene.

You kind of blew him off.

I thought you were saying yes to everything.

- Uh, that would be insane.

I am not just saying yes.

I am being decisive.

- All right, well, in this case,

I think you should consider a yes, because Rene is upset,

and he has the ear of all the nurses.

They're talking about a walkout.

- What? No!

A walkout would be a disaster.

I'm meeting with the board next week.

OK, we have to figure this out.

- How about a compromise, you know?

Like, maybe we, um-we cover nurses based on seniority.

- Alex, respectfully, you sound like a dumbass right now, OK?

No compromise.

Compromise is for the weak.

OK, here's the plan.

I'm gonna hit them with some charm,

and you are gonna gather intel, OK?

You're my mole.

- I am not your mole, OK?

If anything, I'm like a facilitator.

I'm a bridge. - OK.

That's the right thing to say, mole.

- I'm not a mole.

- OK, you are selling this so well, it's scaring me.

- Joyce, I'm not a mole.

- You're freaking me out.

- Hey, Ron, we've been jamming on your date idea,

and I think we've got something.

- We're thinking dinner.

- At a restaurant.

- Did you two guys just think of that?

- Yeah. - I'm leaning towards

Brazilian barbecue because it's fun,

and you hold up those signs.

"Yes meat."

"No meat." [laughs]

- You could take those signs home, if you know what I mean.

- Yeah, 'cause then I'd be stealing.

- Why don't you just find a nice upscale place?

- Oh, OK.

Oh, how about that new shrimp and crab buffet on Weir Street?

- She's allergic to shellfish, man!

Come on!

Why don't you take her to Enzo's?

They got live music. She loves that place.

- How do you know so much about my girl?

- [laughs] Ronnie, you hound.

- What? No.

I-I'm not- - No, it's OK.

You can help me. Please, Ron?

If not for me, then for Joyce?

- [sighs] All right, I'll give you guys five minutes.

- "To my St. Denis family,

"I just wanted to show my appreciation

"for the hardest working staff on the planet.

Your efforts 'doughnut' go unnoticed."

And then she crossed off "Sorry for your loss"

because this was clearly a sympathy card.

- Wow, that's so thoughtful.

And guys, these are not cheap flavors, OK?

She went premium on us. What?

- Uh, I think we're canceling the walkout.

I love to see a happy ending.

- Ah-ah! Stop it.

- What? Why?

- It's a bribe, a pathetic one.

- She's trying to placate us, Matt.

- Come on, guys. Don't be so cynical.

- Yeah, Joyce always says we're family.

She's our mom.

- Sure, you're family when they need unpaid overtime.

But try asking for a mental health day.

- Guys, isn't it possible that Joyce just cares about us?

- She and Joyce were talking in her office earlier.

[speaking Tagalog]

- All right, so I, uh-you know,

Joyce and I are close, but that is a good thing, you know?

Because I can-I can, like, you know, gather intel for you.

I can be, like-like, your-

like, your mole.

- I'm listening. - Oh, great, OK.

Well, I already have something.

So Joyce is really focused on this upcoming board meeting.

If we wait until she has time to really sit down

and talk things through-

- We're gonna lose all our leverage.

[gasps] We need to move now.

[scoffs] Well, look at you, Miss Good for Something.

- Thanks.

- You know, I was thinking you were right.

A walkout could be fun.

Out in the fresh air, holding up signs that say,

like, "Both sides valid," "Love work,"

"Can't wait to get back."

- Matt, no. It's us against them.

Management would replace us with Roombas

if those things knew how to find a vein.

How do I explain corporate greed to you?

Have you seen "Wolf of Wall Street"

or "The Big Short"?

- No. But those both sound funny.

"The Big Short"? That's-that's great.

- OK.

Have you seen "A Bug's Life"?

- Yeah, last weekend.

- Remember the whole thing

about the ants and the grasshoppers?

- Yep, the grasshoppers boss the ants around,

but it's out of fear because the ants outnumber them.

And if they ever united and fought back-oh, my God.

- Exactly.

- It's about bugs, but also people.

Do you think they thought about that when they were writing it?

Wait. What's "Cars" about?

- OK! Got you a 6:30 table at Enzo's.

Go pick out the flowers.

- Do you have any Venus flytraps?

- I'll pick out the flowers.

Spring mix.

- What about this?

I can add the word "friend" so it says, "It's a boyfriend!"

- That would be good if anyone in history

ever used the phrase, "It's a boyfriend."

- Or, better idea, how about you put

a Y in front of the A, so it says, "It's ya boy"?

- [laughs] - Ring it up.

[sighs] - Yeah.

- Alex, can I speak to you for a second?

It's about a, uh, gas leak.

- Oh, um, we, uh-

yes, absolutely.

I wanna hear about that, for sure.

- It's OK. The gas leak is small,

and I'm taking care of it.

- Wait, what? - Did they love the doughnuts?

What is the nicest thing they said about me?

- Joyce, no, the doughnuts did nothing.

I have no clue how they got this idea,

but now the nurses are talking about doing their walkout

before your board meeting.

- OK, Alex, you're supposed to be calming these people down,

not riling them up.

- I know. - [scoffs]

You're not doing your job as my rat!

- I thought I was a mole.

- OK, I thought you didn't like the mole thing.

Alex, you're all over the place today!

- OK, so they intentionally limit

patient tech hours just to avoid giving them

health care benefits. - Yup.

- And that's not to give them more free time

for their hobbies at all.

- No.

- But that-that-

that's not fair!

- OK. Your worldview is imploding.

Just take a breath.

- [breathes deeply]

- Now you know why we take so much ibuprofen home.

And band-aids.

And blankets sometimes.

- Oh, look at this- corn cob water bottle.

Come on, Joyce will love.

- Ooh! - No.

We got the flowers.

Let's just ring them up and get out of here.

- Oh! - Come on, let's go!

- Salvador, Samuel, Sawyer.

Unbelievable!

There's no Sanderson.

Excuse me, sir.

Who decides what names go on these key chains?

- I don't know. They just come in.

- Oh, Bruce! Oh, man. Oh, yeah.

You got tons of these bad boys. Smart.

- Discrimination.

- I've asked you to think about Joyce for ten minutes!

- Easy for you to say with all these Rons.

- [sighs] - You know what?

We won't be making this purchase.

I'll be taking my business elsewhere.

- All right, you know what? I give up.

Go with your instincts!

You're gonna plan something that's gonna be horrible

because you are not a serious man.

She will be crushed, and you all will break up

again for the 20th time.

And this time, I hope it sticks because Joyce deserves better!

- Just gonna-

Christmas shopping, check.

Merry Bruce-mas to all.

- Oh, hello, Joyce.

- Hey, Matt. How's it going? - I'm OK.

A little hard to breathe with your boot on my neck.

- You said it.

- [scoffs] Wow.

- We all need to get on the same page, OK?

Because the people up top only understand one language.

- And that's violence. - Don't.

Matt, that's not what I'm saying.

- I like that energy, though.

- Yeah, Joyce isn't in charge. We are.

We can all get together and kill her if we wanted to.

- Did someone do something to Matt?

- Hello, everyone. - Boo.

- OK.

Look, I heard the doughnuts were underwhelming.

So new plan- tomorrow, taco truck,

guacamole very much included.

- What do you mean, you heard about the doughnuts?

- That part doesn't matter.

We cannot be bought with some pathetic taco truck, Joyce.

- Excuse me? [phone buzzes]

Oh, I see.

Very good. - Did you just text Joyce?

- No, I am literally texting Tim about Ella's cleats.

[phone dings]

- OK, who just texted me, "I'm on your side.

I'm just playing Joyce"?

- Alex, you just texted me that.

- How am I not in your phone?

- This is all so shady.

- What in the absolute [bleep] is going on around here?

- Matt!

- I mean, seriously, though!

- OK.

OK.

I think I see what's going on here.

Alex is playing both sides for her own personal amusement.

Yeah.

- What? - Mm-hmm.

You've been dousing this day in gasoline,

lighting the match,

and then laughing in our charred faces.

Rene, you are smart, and you are thoughtful.

Let's reach a compromise. - [scoffs]

I thought that compromise was for the weak.

- [scoffs]

We're running a hospital, not invading Poland.

Jeez!

OK, crazy idea- a seniority system.

Reimbursements kick in when you've worked here,

say, mm, six years.

- Oh.

That's how long I've worked here.

- Huh, well, I guess it works out, then.

[chuckles] See?

You got a problem, you come to Big J

and maybe avoid Big A.

- [chuckles] Thanks, Joyce.

- Mm-hmm. - Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

- Well, we should still talk

about the toilet paper around here.

It's too scratchy!

- Wow, we really climbed out of that one.

[chuckles] Phew, right?

- Joyce, you completely threw me under the bus.

- But I used your idea.

- Yeah, and you took the credit for it.

- OK, now this is just getting nasty,

who took credit for what.

Your nurses got something. Just take the win.

- Hey.

So no one's talking about walking out anymore.

That's good.

- Rene's back to hating me again.

- If it helps, I don't think he ever stopped hating you.

- Thanks, Matt.

- Walang problema.

It means "no problem."

- Oh, does it? - Yeah.

- It's tough being middle management.

You take it on the chin from both sides.

No real power to change things.

And when things go right, you still don't get any credit.

Then again, it just started pouring,

and my car is, like, right there.

So it's a pretty good day, actually.

- Putting out fires, it's part of the job.

Shh, shh, shh.

[chuckles] Oh!

Watch it.

Be careful.

Sanderson? What?

It was just a Hungry Hippo pellet!

- OK, now!

[Yazoo's "Only You"]

- [gasps]

- Help, Joyce! I'm stuck!

Help, Jojo!

- Why are you in a body bag?

- Because I would rather die than be without you.

[grunts] Help me. Help me.

- All right, hold still. - [grunts]

- Come on. Hold still.

- Jojo!

Joyce, I love you.

You are smart, and you are strong.

And you don't let anything hold you back,

not even your famous shellfish allergy.

- Come on. Stop. - [grunts]

- [grunts] There, there.

- Earlier today, my best friend gave me a tough talk.

He said I wasn't a serious man.

And you know what? He was right.

So I wanna show you just how serious I am.

What I'm trying to say is, Joyce Henderson...

- [gasps]

- Will you marry me?

- We were a part of this.

- Were we really? - I think.

- ? When I see you ?

- Joyce?

- ? Was the love you gave ?

- One, two, three.

- ? All I needed for another day ?

? And all I ever knew ?

- Four, five, six.

- ? Only you ?

- Seven...

- If she gets to ten, I'm pulling the fire alarm.

? ?

- Mm-hmm.

- Yes!

She said, "Mm-hmm"!

[applause and laughter] Yes!

- This is amazing. See? We are a family.

- [laughs] OK.

- Also just flagging, we need to talk about the key chains

in the gift shop.

But that can wait till later, my bride.

- Oh. - Hey! Hey!

- [laughs]

[bell clangs]

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