Original subtitles

(drum roll)

Downloaded from YTS.LT

(fanfare plays)

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.LT

(music ends)

(marching band)

MEN: ♪ Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame ♪

♪ Wake up the echoes cheering her name ♪

♪ While her loyal sons are marching onward ♪

♪ To victory ♪

♪ Stanford, for you ♪

♪ Each loyal comrade brave and true ♪

♪ With might and main sings this refrain ♪

♪ Forever and forever Stanford red ♪

(band ends)

- (men singing in Latin) - (cable car bell dinging)

(Latin continues)

So, gentlemen, I urge you to deliberate most carefully…

before reaching a decision on so vital and momentous a question.

- Yes. Yes, of course. - Mr. President.

I agree with our eminent professor of metaphysics…

and I suggest that we postpone further consideration of this--

No, no! Definitely no! I object!

I must remind Professor Pillsbury…

that we cannot procrastinate further.

The press and public await our verdict impatiently.

We must act today.

- Now! - Right. Right, right, right.

Mr. President. Mr. President.

After careful and scientific analysis,

it is the opinion of the department of mathematics…

that Yale University can beat the pants off Michigan.

- (chuckling) - I disagree.

Look at what Michigan's team did to Northwestern.

- Ah! - And you still owe me

50 cents from that game.

- I do not, sir! I paid you. - (chuckling)

You never paid me that 50 cents.

- I distinctly remember-- - Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.

Remember that this great football classic comes on Armistice Day,

just one week before we play Harvard,

and we dare not risk facing as strong a team as Michigan.

We must find a more desirable opponent.

May I suggest Arkansas Normal?

I'm afraid not. This game is for charity.

We cannot select too weak an opponent, or no one will come to see it.

- (all chattering) - Then how about Nebraska?

- ALL: Oh, no! - Definitely not.

- Well, sir? - We've decided on the University of Texas.

- Texas? - Yes.

Will you see that an invitation is sent and that the newspapers are notified?

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Vacate, son.

Texas!

The game won't draw flies unless the players bring their horses.

- Look it up for me, will you, Freddy? - Look what up?

- The address of Texas. - The address of Texas?

Texas University, you flathead!

Oh.

There's two of 'em. Which one do you want?

"Yale University takes great pleasure in hereby inviting you"--

- What? - Which one?

Texas University, I told you.

Prairie, Texas. P-r-a-i-r-i-e.

Grand Central Station! All out.

Where are the showers?

- Here I come! - Alley-up.

- (giggling) - Time out for Texas.

Hey! We oughta have the new coach look you over.

- Don't worry. He will. - Remember, he's married.

And you know what football coaches' wives are like.

I'll say. They think a forward pass

is something a girl shouldn't make at a boy.

Hey, Zeb. Is the Fort Worth train on time?

Maybe. Tell you when she gets in. Aimin' to go someplace?

No. We're meeting the new football coach. He's coming all the way from New York.

Boy, we're gonna have a team this year.

We're gonna put TSU on the map!

Looks like it's fixin' to rain.

- We oughta make him cheerleader. - Yeah.

- Seen anything of Biff Bentley? - No.

Fine thing if the captain of the team isn't here.

We won't have much of a captain if Sally Saxon doesn't let him alone.

Oh, here's Biff now!

Our captain's tackling awfully high this season.

The new coach'll fix that.

Hiya, fellows. Sorry I'm late. Flat tire.

I see you brought it with you.

Hello.

Hello, honey. Just talking about you.

And all the time I thought it was your engine knocking, darling.

- Hey, you two will have to cut that out. - Jealous, Chippy dear?

Remember, Biff's in training.

Biff doesn't need any training. He's perfect now.

You'll all have to toe the mark this season with the new coach.

Suits me. As long as he can teach us football.

He will. Boy, I sure had a tough time

- luring him away from Flushing. - Flushing what?

Flushing, Long Island, and no wisecracks!

(train whistle blowing)

Are you packed yet, sweetheart?

Come on. Stop kidding and step on it.

- What the-- - Oh, excuse me, darling.

Now, listen. Don't pull any of those offside plays on me.

- I'm sorry, sweetheart. - Sorry?

Not half as sorry as you're going to be

for dragging me out here to this forsaken desert!

Flushing was a heaven compared to this.

Are you sure you didn't join the Foreign Legion?

Now, what's wrong with Texas? Look at that sky, that sand.

You can have it. I'll take Coney Island.

The wind, the wide-open spaces. Ahh.

That's wide enough. You can shut it now.

- Where men are men. - Yeah, and I'm stuck with you.

And you're stuck with-- oh, there you go again. Always belittlin'.

Look here, Bessie. I'm gonna be a big shot down here.

What'll people think of a football coach whose wife is always--

- Go on and finish dressing. - Look, you can't talk to me like--

I said, finish dressing!

Well, that's different. All right, all right.

CONDUCTOR: Prairie! Next stop, Prairie!

- Come on. Let's hurry. - Okay.

What we've always needed is a two-fisted coach

who could give it and take it.

- (train whistle blows) - Now, at last, we've got one.

- Here she comes! - Oh, boy! Come on!

MRS. WINTERS: Come on. We're in.

- Hurry up! - Oh.

(bell clanging)

Hey, that must be them. Hey, here they are, fellas!

Hey, Mr. Winters! Mr. Winters?

- Mr. Winters? - Yeah. How'd you guess?

I'm Carson, athletic manager and publicity director for TSU.

- Pleased to meet you. My name is Winters. - Hi.

I suppose this is Mrs. Winters?

Well, if Winters comes, can Mrs. Winters be far behind?

- (laughing) - (chuckles)

May I present Miss Watson, Miss Jones,

- Miss Saxon and Tommy Barker? - (indistinct greetings)

- And this is Biff Bentley, our captain. - How are ya?

- My name's Winters. - Oh.

On behalf of the faculty and student body,

I want to welcome you both to Texas State University.

And we hope that, as coach of the football team,

you will bring success and glory to TSU…

- and to yourself. - (chuckling)

I want to thank you, fellows and girls.

And on behalf of Mrs. Winters and myself--

- You can leave me out of this. - You can leave me out--

I want to say…

that it's a great deal of pleasure.

- (engine chugging, whistle blowing) - (no audible dialogue)

- (chugging continues) - (no audible dialogue)

For dear old Texas, I thank you.

That's the best speech you've ever made.

(laughing)

Well, the car's right over here, Mr. Winters.

Well, fine. You know, I'm going to be very happy down here.

Swell.

And I think we're gonna have a great season.

COACH: You look like first-class material--

A rough and ready bunch of youngsters

who aren't afraid to go in there and fight.

I've started seasons with worse-looking players

and turned them into champions.

With your brawn and my, uh, experience,

we'll be a tough outfit to beat.

I want to get to know all you fellows personally,

and I want you all to know me.

Say, they look pretty thin. What's the matter? Diet?

Oh, they play a lot better than they look, Mrs. Winters.

Huh. I hope so.

Oh, sure. Move over.

You see Biff Bentley there? Why, he was all-state fullback last year.

He's great. He can pass, kick and run-- a real triple-threat man.

Hmm. Got anybody else that's good?

Well, we will have when Mr. Winters gets through with 'em.

He's gonna do big things here, Mrs. Winters.

You know, we've got as much confidence in your husband as you have.

Yeah--

I hate to talk about myself,

but last year in Flushing,

where I turned out, as you might have heard,

- one of the greatest, one of the-- - (clicking)

Just a minute, fellas.

Excuse us, folks. Pardon us.

What'd I say now?

Nothing. It's what you were gonna say.

- Listen, I want you to find out something. - What?

When does the next train leave for New York?

Why?

Why? You're no magician. The day of miracles is past.

Go home and pack your toothbrush, and let's go back to Flushing.

Wait a minute. Go back there and coach those high school kids again?

Here I've got a chance to coach a college team

and get myself a reputation.

Yeah, a reputation that'll keep you out of a job for the rest of your life.

You can't make a team out of that herd!

I can't, eh?

Listen, in my dictionary, there's no such a word as "can't."

Brawn isn't the only thing that wins football games. It takes brains.

At last we agree on something.

Now let's get out of here while we still have the fare.

MAN: Hey, Chip!

- Hey, Chip! - Yeah, here I am.

- Chip, read that. - Whoo!

What is it, Chip? What is it?

- Yeow! Whoo! - (indistinct chatter)

Look, Mr. Winters. Look!

"Yale University cordially invites

"Texas State University to play its football team

on Wednesday, November 11."

(cheering)

- Say, is this on the level? - Sure, it is.

Gee, they must've known you were coming down here, Mr. Winters!

- Yeah. - We'll wire an acceptance right away.

(cheering)

Hey, wait, wait. Just a minute. Just a minute, fellas.

Now, Yale's got a pretty heavy team.

After all, I'm no magician. The day of miracles is past.

- You can't expect to take a team that-- - Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

What do you mean, "can't"?

Why, in our dictionary, there's no such a word as "can't."

Brawn ain't the only thing that wins football games. It takes brains.

Yeah! Send that wire to Yale.

Tell 'em that I-- that-that--that, uh--

- Tell 'em that we accept. - (cheering)

Sparks, you were instructed to invite the University of Texas,

not Texas State University, you confounded idiot.

I'm sorry, sir. I could withdraw the invitation and send another

- to the University of Texas. - (indistinct chatter)

Gentlemen, we can't do that. That would be an obvious insult.

Professor Pillsbury is right.

- (murmuring) - Yes, yes, yes.

I find Texas State hasn't won a game in two years.

A fine opponent for a big charity game.

We'll be the laughingstock of the nation.

Young man, I must ask for your resignation.

Just a minute, Dr. Burke. May I say a few words?

Three teams have come out of the South,

teams that the North never heard of until they played famous Northern 11's.

Remember Center of Kentucky when they played Harvard?

Well, publicity made those games interesting,

and publicity can do it again.

Why, I know all about this Texas State University team.

- You do? - Of course.

They're light and fast and they play a brand of football we don't see up here.

They're tricky. They're unorthodox.

They throw that pigskin around like an apple.

Gentlemen, it's David and Goliath--

Little David from the south, and big Goliath from the north.

Give me a chance, gentlemen. Give me a chance.

I'll build this game up to the point

where everyone in the country will be fighting for tickets.

It's a natural!

(murmuring)

Sparks, I don't think you know a thing about Texas State,

and I'd advise you not to try and find out.

But I do like your imagination.

Now you go ahead and let it run wild.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, gentlemen.

All I can say is: Watch the sports page of your favorite newspaper!

(excited murmuring)

(chorus humming)

♪ From afar a shining star ♪

♪ Comes into view ♪

♪ And we know ♪

♪ It watches over ♪

♪ T.S.U. ♪

♪ All for one and one for all ♪

♪ Our pledge can never fail ♪

♪ Our pledge can never fail ♪

♪ Texas State ♪

♪ Our alma mater ♪

♪ Hail ♪

♪ Hail ♪

♪ Hail! ♪

♪ From afar a shining star ♪

♪ Comes into view ♪

♪ And we know it watches over ♪

♪ T.S.U. ♪

♪ All for one and one for all ♪

♪ Our pledge can never fail ♪

♪ Texas State our alma mater ♪

♪ Hail, hail, hail! ♪

(cheering)

Wonder what position she plays on the team?

She's the drawback.

(chattering)

CHIP: Fellow students,

before we hear any speeches and before we introduce the new coach,

what do you say we have a little music?

(cheering)

(all chant) We want Ginger! We want Tommy! We want Ginger!

- We want Tommy! - All right, all right.

You want Ginger? Here she is.

(cheering)

(ballad)

♪ We don't have to go to college ♪

♪ In search of knowledge today ♪

♪ Though our English marks are zeros ♪

♪ The movie heroes ♪

♪ Teach us to say: ♪

♪ You're slightly terrific ♪

♪ Speaking specifically, ♪

♪ Slightly gigantic ♪

♪ Mean it romantically ♪

♪ More than stupendous ♪

♪ My love's tremendous for you ♪

♪ No star in a picture ♪

♪ Could be so glamorous ♪

♪ You're such a mixture of everything amorous ♪

♪ What a construction ♪

♪ A major production, that's you ♪

♪ I saw a preview of you ♪

♪ You made a hit from the start ♪

♪ Let's sign a contract for two ♪

♪ You'll be the star of my heart ♪

♪ You're slightly terrific ♪

♪ Speaking specifically ♪

♪ Supercolossal suit my philosophy ♪

♪ Being specific ♪

♪ You're slightly terrific to me ♪

(band plays upbeat melody)

(tap dancing)

(tap dancing continues)

♪ You're slightly terrific, speaking specifically ♪

♪ Supercolossal suits my philosophy ♪

- ♪ You're also ♪ - ♪ "Sophisa" ♪

- ♪ "Sutipa" ♪ - ♪ "Sufasa" ♪

- (music ends) - (cheering)

Fellows and ladies, this is the biggest day

in the history of our alma mater.

From this day on, there's only one thought

in the mind of every man and woman at TSU,

and that is, beat Yale!

(cheering)

I don't know how we happened to be honored with the invitation to play Yale,

but, well, I have my suspicions.

(laughter)

And the man who I think is responsible for the invitation

is the man who is gonna turn that invitation

into the greatest football victory in the history of Texas.

Do I have to tell you who he is? You tell me!

Come on, everybody. Let's have three for coach Slug Winters!

EVERYBODY: Coach Slug Winters! Rah, rah, rah! Coach Slug Winters!

(cheering)

Now, folks, we have a little number written especially for tonight,

sung by the boys who wrote it.

- Do you wanna hear it? - (cheering)

(jazz music playing)

♪ Many plans that men and mice make very often go astray ♪

♪ And so although up to the present, things for TSU look pleasant ♪

♪ Who knows what tomorrow's apt to bring ♪

♪ We must be prepared for anything ♪

♪ So if the team looks tragic and the coach is not a big sensation ♪

♪ We have a word that's magic, it'll help us out of any situation ♪

♪ We tried it today and found it okay ♪

♪ For chasing our troubles away ♪

♪ When the jitters begin to get you and you're feeling kind of blue ♪

♪ You'll find you can lose the jitters and blues ♪

♪ By going like this-- woo-woo ♪

♪ Though at first you'll say it's silly and you mightn't believe it's true ♪

♪ Just try it and see how happy you'll be ♪

♪ The minute you say "woo-woo" ♪

♪ When things are tough it's true enough ♪

♪ That life is hard to endure ♪

♪ But there's really nothing wrong with you ♪

♪ That a little woo-woo won't cure ♪

♪ So when all your friends desert you and your creditors start to sue ♪

♪ Stand up on a chair do this to your hair ♪

♪ And holler with us "woo-woo" ♪

♪ We have found in every pasture where a herd of cattle browse ♪

- ♪ They never say "moo" ♪ - ♪ They holler "woo-woo" ♪

♪ That's why they're contented cows ♪

♪ If the hen that's in your barnyard won't lay eggs, you're in a jam ♪

- ♪ But you know what to do ♪ - ♪ Just holler "woo-woo" ♪

♪ And then she'll lay eggs with ham ♪

♪ If someone steals your wife away alas and also alack ♪

♪ Be careful, don't yell "woo-woo" too soon ♪

♪ He's liable to bring her back ♪

♪ Papa Dionne was not surprised with babies number one and two ♪

- ♪ But at three he said "no" ♪ - ♪ At four he said "whoa" ♪

♪ At five he said "woo-woo-woo-woo" ♪

♪ You'd never suspect the silly effect ♪

♪ A little woo-woo can get ♪

♪ They used the phrase in olden days ♪

♪ And it hasn't failed us yet ♪

♪ Napoleon's the greatest soldier history's ever known ♪

♪ They claim he conquered the bloomin' world entirely on his own ♪

♪ He did all right in many a fight till the night at Waterloo ♪

♪ And what licked the great Napoleon there ♪

♪ Was Wellington yelling "woo-woo" ♪

♪ When Homer scribbled a poem about the glorious Greece of old ♪

♪ He said the Greeks had a word for it but the word was never told ♪

♪ So we took looks in ancient books ♪

♪ And we finally found it true ♪

♪ That the Greeks did have a word for it ♪

♪ And the word they had is "woo-woo" ♪

♪ When Romeo met Juliet that very romantic night ♪

♪ We'd like to describe a scene for you that Shakespeare didn't write ♪

♪ The moonlight shone and all alone on the balcony stood the two ♪

♪ So he looked at her and she looked at him ♪

♪ And both of them said "woo-woo" ♪

♪ When Mr. Gloom pops in your room ♪

♪ You'll never come to harm ♪

♪ If you'll always grin hold up your chin ♪

♪ And remember the magic charm ♪

♪ Though the odds are all against ya with a team so green and new ♪

♪ If you feel that you'll fail to win over Yale ♪

- ♪ You'll know what to do ♪ - Woo-woo!

♪ Now, professor we've got a problem "x" plus "y" is 42 ♪

♪ We subtract it and then divide it by 10 ♪

- ♪ And what have we got ♪ - Ah, woo-woo.

♪ I'm so surprised to realize how strong this habit can be ♪

♪ Why, the French are saying "woo-woo" today ♪

♪ Where they formerly said "oui, oui" ♪

♪ So if ever you get in trouble what's the word to pull you through? ♪

- ♪ Is it ho-ho? ♪ - ♪ No, no ♪

- ♪ Hey, hey? ♪ - ♪ Nay, nay ♪

- ♪ Then give us the old woo-woo ♪ - ♪ Woo-woo ♪

- ♪ That's it, that's it ♪ - ♪ Woo-woo ♪

♪ Woo-woo ♪

(cheering)

That's the old Texas spirit, fellas. Keep it up, and we'll lick the world.

Well, that's all. Good night, everybody.

(cheering)

(band resumes playing)

You won't mind if I don't take you home, will you, Laura?

I gotta hurry to town to the newspaper office.

You run right along, dear. Don't let me interfere with your work.

You know nothin' else could keep me away from you, beautiful.

- You want to know something else? - What?

- Will you keep it a secret? - Uh-huh.

- (over P.A.): I love you so much it makes me quiver all over.

(laughing)

- And I don't care who knows it! - (cheering)

SLUG: Try that number 16 play again.

And no fumbles this time.

(all shouting)

Twenty-one, thirty-eight…

What's the matter with you? Can't you hold on to the ball?

And who, may I ask, is that big lummox?

That's my brother Elmer.

Oh. Well, never mind, honey. There's one in every family.

I'll have you know Elmer is the best basketball player in this whole state.

We've got a great basketball team.

Yeah. Haven't lost a game in five years.

Basketball.

That's a big help. How's your domino team?

(whistle blows)

Say, any more basketball players in that alleged football squad?

Yeah, there's four of 'em.

There's Biff Bentley, Connors, Link and Mather.

Uh-huh.

Excuse me!

MRS. WINTERS: Hey, Slug! Come here!

Oh! Okay.

Put them through that last play again, Biff.

Come on, fellas. Get in there. That was terrible.

- Hurry up. - What do you want now?

Have you read this article, stupid?

Yeah, yeah. I thought it was very flattering.

Don't you realize

there's a sensational idea in what it says?

You've got a lot of great basketball players out there.

Yeah, but I'm trying to teach them to play football.

You've got to teach them to play basketball-football.

- I know-- Basketball-football? - Right!

Oh, listen, honey. Do you feel all right?

Maybe you'd better go home and lie down for a while.

This Texas heat has got you.

Listen, Lug, there's nothing wrong with me. It's you!

Here's the answer to all your problems in black and white,

and you're too dumb to see it!

All right. What do you want me to do?

I want you to practice what they preach.

Will you quit talking riddles?

Look, you've got four great basketball players.

Make them your backfield.

They're used to heaving a basketball to each other.

Let them do the same thing with a football.

Say, there may be something to what you say.

There's everything to it! Use your brain.

Dope out a lot of screwy passing plays.

Let them toss the ball around and run wild.

It's your only chance! Can't you see?

Yeah. Honey, this is the greatest idea you've had

since you asked me to marry you.

(shouting)

Twenty-one, forty-nine…

That's it!

Boy, did you see that play? Nobody'll stop 'em!

Oh, you haven't seen anything yet. This team will be the talk of the country.

- Yeah, and you'll do all the talking. - And I'll do all the--

Say, it's new! Where'd you get the idea, Mr. Winters?

Oh, it's, uh-- it's from something I picked up in Flushing.

Boy! Oh, babe!

MEN: ♪ All for one and one for all ♪

♪ Our pledge can never fail ♪

♪ Texas State our alma mater ♪

♪ Hail, hail, hail ♪

(big band music playing)

Awfully crowded in here, isn't it?

It's cooler outside. Want to go for a ride in my new bus?

If you don't go too far.

Hey, Sally.

This'll warm us up if it gets chilly.

Why, the idea of you two kids drinking! And right here on the campus!

Why, you oughta be ashamed of yourself. (sniffs)

Mmm. Gin.

What do you expect for nothin', champagne?

Listen, everybody! Listen, please.

We're gonna settle something once and for all.

Will you gather round here? Here, Tommy.

(chattering)

Now, quiet. This is very high class.

- Chord. - (plays piano)

♪ On a bright September morning ♪

♪ Back in 1922 ♪

WOMEN: ♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ When our parents told us we could go ♪

♪ To dear old TSU ♪

WOMEN: ♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

(crowd laughing)

♪ We bought freshman caps and pencils ♪

♪ And we learned the college cheers ♪

(crowd laughing)

♪ And we've loved our alma mater ♪

♪ Through these happy ♪

♪ Fourteen years ♪

♪ We'd rather be in college than anyplace we know ♪

♪ 'Cause the day we're through at TSU ♪

♪ We'll have no place else to go ♪

♪ It's great to be in college, it makes us use our beans ♪

♪ You've no idea what we learned last year from campus slot machines ♪

♪ Though it's a shame promotion came to spoil our freshman days ♪

♪ We're sophomores now 'cause freshmen look ♪

♪ So silly with toupees ♪

♪ It's great to be in college ♪

♪ It's too, too, too divine ♪

♪ As the Greeks would say "It is toujours gai" ♪

♪ Which in English means it's fine ♪

♪ Give a lusty cheer for freshman year and the days of auld lang syne ♪

♪ We'd graduate from Texas State, but why leave here and suffer ♪

♪ With millions out of work right now we'd only make it tougher ♪

♪ We could be famous doctors like the mayos who amaze ya ♪

♪ But what's the use you cure some goose and then he never pays ya ♪

♪ We might be brilliant lawyers settling other people's grudges ♪

♪ We know the law but that's no good 'cause we don't know the judges ♪

♪ As plumbers we'd be awfully dumb ♪

♪ Because we've never learned to plumb ♪

♪ A dentist's life would please us more, but drilling teeth is such a bore ♪

♪ We've thought of aviation but that's one thing we can't go for ♪

♪ 'Cause we get dizzy when we're only standing on a sofa ♪

♪ We'd like to join our fathers in their factories but it's funny ♪

♪ They claim they don't need college men to help them lose their money ♪

♪ Now, farming might be charming that's a fact that we're allowing ♪

♪ But farmers gave up farming since they've started under plowing ♪

♪ In politics you're bound to fail ♪

♪ You run the bank you go to jail ♪

♪ There's nothing else we'd like to do ♪

♪ And that's just why we're telling you ♪

♪ We'd rather be in college, we're glad we had no choice ♪

♪ For if we should be with the C.C.C. it'd be a whole lot worse ♪

♪ We love the college dances they've got that certain flair ♪

♪ When it's crowded smoke gets in your eyes and drunks get in your hair ♪

♪ We joined the gym and learned to swim and if we have cares to drown ♪

♪ Our swimming comes in handy, we know every dive in town ♪

♪ So drink a toast to Texas the apple of our eye ♪

♪ If we have our way here's the place we'll stay and we'll never say good-bye ♪

♪ With a college song and a beard that long ♪

♪ We'll be sophomores till we die ♪

(cheering)

Well, coach, we got enough money to send the team and the band too.

That's swell, Chip. You know, I like music with my touchdowns.

MRS. WINTERS: Yahoo! Yippee!

Uh, excuse me, will you, please?

MRS. WINTERS: Yahoo! Whoopee!

♪ Oh ♪

♪ She floats through the air ♪

♪ With the greatest of ease ♪

♪ Oh, the daring young girl ♪

♪ On the flying trapeze ♪

- Hey. - ♪ Oh, her movements are graceful ♪

- Get down. Get down. Let go. - Whoopee!

Let go. What's the matter with you?

Aw, is that what you call a tackle? A fine coach you are!

Listen. You've been drinking, eh?

What are you doing, trying to ruin me? Remember, you're my wife.

Aw, why did you have to remind me and spoil my whole evening?

Oh, now, listen, Bessie.

- I have a certain-- - CHIP: Mr. Winters.

Professor Barton would like to see you.

- Tell him I'll be right there. - All right.

Bye, Chippy!

Listen. Now, stay here. Don't go away. I'll be back and get you.

Oh, you run along and don't worry about me.

If your team can hold Yale

- as well as I can hold my liquor, they-- - Shh! Bessie.

(thumping)

- Hiya, Biffo! - Hello, Mrs. Winters.

Well, you're just the man I'm looking for.

You played a great game Saturday, Biff, but I'm sorry, old boy.

You still don't know how to take a man out.

- No? - No, you're not puttin' enough

weight into it. You're hittin' too high.

- Come here. I'll show you how. - You, Mrs. Winters?

You heard me. Come on. Get over here.

Biff, I'm gonna show you how to take a man out and take him out good.

Get down there. Now you relax and watch me.

Signals! Twenty-two, forty-one, sixty-four! Hike!

Ow! (groans in pain)

- What's the matter? - My leg! My leg.

- What's the matter? - (groaning) My leg. My leg.

Aw, come on. You're not hurt. Get up!

Oh, I can't. I can't.

Oh, come on! Be a man!

- It's nothing. Stand up. - Okay. All right.

There. See? It's all right. Stand on it.

- (gasps, groans) - That's it.

- Oh! Oh! - Biff!

Biff!

Slug! Hey, Slug!

- Biff! Aw, come on. Get up, Biff. - What's the matter, Mrs. Winters?

It's Biff. He's hurt. Something's happened to him. Slug!

- Hey, Slug! Oh! - What's the matter?

- How's he doing, boys? - What happened, Biff?

It's awful this had to happen to Biff.

Maybe it isn't as bad as we think.

Any news about Biff yet?

- Not a thing. - Not a word, chief.

I'm afraid Bentley won't play any more football this year.

- He has a fractured leg. - (all groaning)

That's terrible!

(murmuring)

Chip.

Don't worry, honey. Everything's going to be all right.

Aw, come on, honey. After all, Biff isn't the whole team.

You're wrong, Laura. He is. Without him, they're a bunch of scrubs.

Oh, so sorry. My name's Herbert Terwilliger van Dyck.

Oh? Too bad. There's nothing I can do about it.

Well, I-I was planning to enroll here.

Could you direct me to the Delta Delta Pi house?

- Oh, are you a double delta? - Sure.

Well, hello! Glad to know you!

Well, the house is right across the campus, two blocks down.

Too bad you didn't get in sooner. You missed the football rally.

Football? A capitalistic device for the exploitation of the masses,

fostered by the meatpacking barons to promote the sale of pigskin.

- But the time is coming-- - Well, I'll see you around sometime.

Ah. How's Biff? Is he all right?

Sure, he's all right. He's fine. He's wonderful.

- Only his leg ain't feeling so good. - What's the matter with it?

Not much. Just busted, that's all.

- Bust-- Oh. - Fine thing. I take my wife

to a dance, and she goes around breaking people's legs.

Well, I didn't do it on purpose, did I?

I told you, I was only showing Biff how to block.

- How did I know that I-- - (clicking)

Twenty-five men on the squad, and you had to pick on my best player.

Why didn't you break your own leg-- or even your neck?

All right! If that's how you feel about it!

You're darn right that's how I feel about it.

COACH: The next time you meddle in my business,

I'm gonna send you back to where you be--

What are you doin'?

- Oh. Now, wait a minute. - Let me alone. I'm going back home!

Oh, now, listen. Don't be like that, babe.

You can't leave me alone. You know I can't get along without you.

- You'll have to! - But I can't. Honest, honey. Please don't.

Oh, why don't you listen to reason?

We're pals, aren't we? I need you. Honest, I do.

Well, do you promise not to talk to me like that again?

Sure. I didn't mean it. You know how it is.

How would you feel if just when you've built up a great team,

some stupid, half-witted idiot came along--

Idiot! That settles it.

- What's the matter? - You can't call me a half-wit!

For years I've been trying to help you to get to where you are--

I didn't mean to--

What do I get for it? You wish I'd break my leg!

- Oh, no, I don't. - I know! You want to get rid of me!

- I didn't say anything-- - You wish that I were dead!

- Aw, no, honey. I didn't say that. - (bawling)

- (crying) I didn't say that at all. - (doorbell rings)

- Go answer the doorbell. - All right.

(crying)

Hello, Chip. Glad to see you. Come on in.

Aw, come on, Coach. Don't take it so hard. Accidents will happen.

- Hello, Chip. - Hello, Mrs. Winters.

Look out. She might break your arm.

Well, what do you think we oughta do, Coach?

- Maybe we'd better cancel the Yale game. - Oh, no, you don't.

Listen, Chip. Can't we find someone to take Biff's place?

There's a peach of a player up at Fort Smith who was coming here,

but he wanted us to pay him.

Of course, we couldn't do that. That would be unethical.

Well, it's been done.

What are you doing, trying to make more trouble for me?

- You keep out of this. - I was only suggesting.

Where are you going?

To the drugstore. Walk me down, Chip?

- CHIP: Certainly. - Can I bring you anything?

Yeah. A ton of aspirin.

- Where you gonna get the headache? - In my he--

There you go again.

Say, Chip, what's the name of this player you were talking about?

Stanley Russell. Oh, but it's no use. We can't offer him money.

You don't have to. You just let me give him a sales talk.

There's no kid that's gonna turn down a chance to play against Yale.

- Where's your car? - It's laid up.

Can you borrow one?

I think I can. Laura has a car.

Then get it and come back here as fast as you can!

Listen, do you want to beat Yale, or don't you?

- I'll be right back. - Remember not a word to his nibs in there.

- I get it. - Hurry!

- This is the place. - LAURA: I'll wait here.

All right.

Now listen, Chip.

You let me do all the talking. You understand?

Pardon me. Does Mr. Stanley Russell live here?

Is he in?

Well, do you expect him back soon?

Well, is there anybody else home?

Thanks, chatterbox. We better sit down here and wait.

Hey! Did you ever hear a tune on a harmonica called "A Fox Chase,"

with the dogs and everything in it?

A fox hunt-- no, we haven't.

(playing)

(whines, barking) Here. Here, boy. Here.

(barking, whining)

Here, boy, Fido. Here, Ranger.

(yipping)

Here, boy. Sing, Fido. (grunting, whining) Hurry, Fido.

(harmonica continues)

(yipping)

Come on, boy.

That's it, boy. (yapping)

Here, boy. (yapping) Over now.

(yipping) Come here.

(yaps)

We've been here two hours and a half.

How much longer do you suppose we have to wait for him?

Whoa. Hey, sonny!

Say, did you ever hear a fella play a harmonica three different ways…

and end up playing it with his nose?

With his nose?

(plays "O Susannah")

Oh, sonny, that was fine, but tell me-- haven't you any idea where Stanley is?

- For the love of Mike, where is he? - He's at Yale.

- Yale? - Yale?

Sure. Playin' football.

Footba-- why didn't you tell us this three hours ago?

- You didn't ask me. - We didn't ask--

(plays harmonica)

Oh!

(rooster crowing)

Don't mind me. I'm a heavy sleeper.

(laughing)

Y'all stop for melons?

Well, no, not exactly, but it's an idea.

Are they nice and ripe?

They ain't nothin' else but.

- All right. Give us three. - All right.

(rooster crowing)

Amos!

- Hello! - Pick three!

All right. Let 'em come.

(whistles) What a heave!

Say, can he do that again?

Sho' 'nuff. Just keep your peepers on it.

Who is that?

That's my brother, Amos.

I'm Sairy Dodd, and I can sing. You want to hear me?

Not right now.

Just about the size of a football.

- Call your brother. I want to talk to him. - Amos! Come a-runnin'!

(rooster crowing)

He can run powerful fast too.

He oughta. He's got the biggest feet in Craw County.

The bigger the feet, the better the kick.

- Hey, are you thinkin' of-- - Brother, I'm not thinking. I'm praying.

SAIRY: Don't be scared, Amos.

They're friendly.

- Howdy, folks. - Glad to meet you, Amos.

- Why? - How would you like to go to college?

What fer? I hain't done nothin'.

It's a chance to get an education, and it won't cost you a cent.

We'll get you a scholarship.

All that for free?

- Absolutely. - No foolin'?

Cross my heart.

Aw, shucks. I got enough book learnin'.

- You hain't neither! - Shut your mouth before I smack you down.

You could study agriculture, Amos.

What I want with that? I'm a-gonna be a farmer.

You can meet some nice girls at college.

- Aw, shucks. - Oh, Amos is scared of girls.

I ain't not!

I could introduce you to a lot of lovely girls.

With shoes on?

Sure, and stockings too.

Huh? Oh, gee whiz!

Does this here college place give folks singin' lessons?

Yes, we have a fine department of music.

And they teach hog calling.

Amos, you're a-goin', and I'm a-goin' with.

I aim to learn to sing proper.

- Now, look-a here, Sairy. - Now, you know how I can sing.

- Do y'all wanna hear me? - Oh, yes, Sairy, but not now.

Come along now, Amos, so's I can fetch my Sunday dress.

I allow as how you'd better take your shoes along.

Don't you think?

- Oh, yes, by all means. - Come on!

We'll be right back.

Oh, please, hurry.

Oh!

- (horn honking) - Hey, Slug!

- Bessie! - (honking continues)

Hey, Slug! Hey! Slug!

- Hey! - Bessie!

- Slug! - Come on, Amos. Come on.

Sairy, Laura, come on. I want you to meet the coach.

- Come on. - Bessie! Wait a minute.

- Where were you last night? - Oh, nix on the drama.

Amos, come here.

This is it, Amos. Isn't this a great place? (chuckling)

Here, I want you to meet my friend Amos.

Oh, yeah? What do you mean by keeping my wife out all night?

What's the matter with you? Have you gone crazy?

Give me that football. Come here, Amos.

- Yeah. Come on, Amos. - Don't be afraid.

There. Here.

- You see this? - Uh-huh.

It's a football.

Yeah. I've heard tell of them there things.

- Go ahead. Throw it, Amos. - Yeah. Here.

- T'ain't got much heft to it. - (chuckles)

- Where'll I heave it to? - Oh--

- You see that light down there? - Uh-huh.

- Throw it at that. - (chuckles)

Go ahead. Throw it.

What's the matter?

Aw, shucks.

What's wrong, Amos?

Amos wants to know if'n it's all right…

if'n he takes off his shoes.

Tell him he can take off anything he wants.

Go ahead, Amos.

I kinda like to feel my toes get a hold of the earth.

That's perfectly all right. Go ahead.

What's the matter now?

I'm a-scared I'll bust that light.

You do, and I'll eat that football.

Go ahead, Amos. Show 'em.

Oh, boy! That was swell, Amos! Shake, that was great!

Well, how will you have your football-- on whole wheat or rye?

I'll have it-- has someone got a ball?

- Here. Try that other light. - Go ahead, Amos.

Supposin' I bust that one too?

- It's okay. This one's on the house. - Come on.

Give him a little room, boys.

(cheering)

- Hey, brother, you're a whiz! - Aw, 't weren't nothin'.

- That's a big light. - (all laughing)

- I can sing. You wanna hear me? - ALL: Yeah!

Oh, no. Not now, honey.

We found him in a melon patch playing quarterback for a bunch of cantaloupes.

Boy, if this is a dream, don't wake me. He's better than Bentley.

- Certainly! - You know--

Don't you go trying to teach him how to play football.

- Better hurry up and enroll him. - Enroll him? Holy smoke.

- What's the matter? - I wonder if he's eligible.

- Oh, sure he's-- - Certainly he--

What?

Oh!

What a break.

We finally find the greatest football passer in the country,

and he can't get into college.

And this stupe has been here seven years and can't get out.

(laughing)

- (laughter) - What's the matter?

Read this. Brothers and comrades, read these carefully.

A message of vital importance to the collegiate youth of the nation.

What's this?

Read it.

Are you fellas socially aggressive?

- (laughs) He's socially offensive! - Oh, get outta here!

What are you doing with these?

Spreading the message of intellectual freedom.

- This might get you into trouble. - We martyrs fear nothing!

I spent two months in a jail in New Jersey.

What for?

I crashed a brick through the window of a bank.

The capitalistic faculty at Bradley expelled me.

But I shall carry on here.

Tomorrow, after I've enrolled, my work begins in earnest.

- You haven't enrolled yet? - No.

- Have you got your credentials? - Oh, yes.

They're in perfect order.

You bet. Anybody could get in college with credentials like these.

Boys, take good care of Herbie.

TSU needs him.

Brothers, I can't tell you how delighted I am…

to find myself among such splendid, intelligent sympathizers in our cause.

(shouting) The time has come--

- (Herbie continues orating) - Hello. Is this Judge Fleming?

- Speaking. - This is Chip Carson.

Look, would you settle a little argument that we're having here?

Well, what is it?

Could a fella get 60 days for tossing a brick through the bank window?

You know, like, say, the big plate glass one on College Street?

That's just exactly what I'd give him-- 60 days.

Fine. Thanks, Judge. Thanks very much. (chuckles)

Hey, Red, Jimmy! Come here! Come here, quick.

(muttering)

Listen, fellas, all we gotta do is--

Read these carefully, boys.

We are the rising generation of mental giants…

who will loose the ties that bind us…

as sure as my name is H. Terwilliger van Dyck.

Wait a minute. What did you say your name is?

H. Terwilliger van Dyck.

- Can you prove it? - Sure, he can. Show him your credentials.

Take a look at those.

H. Terwilliger van Dyck?

TOGETHER: H. Terwilliger van Dyck?

Why, that name sounds vaguely familiar.

ALL: Ah!

♪ So you're the guy they said can try and help us start the revolution ♪

- Who? - You!

- Me? - Yes, you.

- Not me. Oh, no. - Oh, yes.

♪ Now, don't deny that you're the guy they sent to start the revolution ♪

- Who? - You!

- Me? - Yes, you.

- Not me. Oh, no. - Oh, yes.

♪ We need a leader with a brain like yours ♪

♪ As the moving spirit of the faction ♪

♪ For years we've waited till the time was right ♪

♪ But tonight we're going into action ♪

♪ The rich no more shall bleed us ♪

♪ Van Dyck is here to lead us ♪

♪ Stop dallying Stop dallying ♪

♪ Our chief has come and freed us ♪

♪ Down with everything that's the flaming credo ♪

♪ Of the anti-super-poopa-doopa commu-bolshi-radicals ♪

♪ Down with everything Loosen your libido ♪

♪ With the contra-neo GOP-O deme-publi-craticals ♪

♪ You said you're red That's what you said ♪

♪ But we said you're not red enough ♪

♪ We want you as a brother ♪

♪ 'Cause we're all against one another ♪

♪ Down with everything that's the burning slogan ♪

♪ Of the anti-super-poopa-doopa commu-bolshi-radicals ♪

♪ At last we found a man of steel ♪

♪ To lead the cause to victory ♪

♪ Thumbs down on all the classes ♪

♪ We must protect the masses ♪

- ♪ From monarchy ♪ - ♪ And anarchy ♪

♪ We'll turn things upside-down-archy ♪

♪ Should we pay tax to break our backs ♪

- ♪ While our comrades sit and suffer ♪ - No!

♪ Should we have pie and scotch and rye ♪

- ♪ Which they don't have enough of ♪ - No!

♪ The rich get rich The poor get kids ♪

♪ Which makes it four times tougher ♪

♪ But comes the revolution ♪

- ♪ And let 'em all eat cake ♪ - Hey!

♪ Can we stand here as thousands cheer ♪

- ♪ And happy days are brewing ♪ - No!

♪ If you should fail to land in jail ♪

- ♪ Will we know what we're doing ♪ - No!

♪ We just forgot exactly what it was that we're pursuing ♪

♪ But comes the revolution and everything is Jake ♪

- ♪ Make up your mind ♪ - ♪ Is it yes or is it no, sir ♪

♪ You're the boss and you must show it ♪

♪ Now the time is drawing closer ♪

♪ Get the brick He's gonna throw it ♪

♪ Get the brick He's gonna throw it ♪

♪ Get the brick He's gonna throw it ♪

♪ Get the brick He's gonna throw it ♪

Get the brick! I'm gonna throw it!

♪ Down Down with everything ♪

♪ Nothing ever satisfies ♪

♪ The anti-super-poopa-doopa commu-bolshi-radicals ♪

♪ Frown on everything ♪

♪ Even we ourselves despise ♪

♪ The contra-fasci streamlined chassis ♪

♪ Who-knows-what's-a-matticals ♪

♪ Three cheers for van the super man ♪

♪ He loves the proletariat ♪

- MAN: Knock, knock! - ALL: Who's there?

- It's reva! - Reva who?

Revolution!

♪ Down with everything That's the burning slogan ♪

♪ Of the anti-super-poopa-doopa commu-bolshi-radicals ♪

(all cheering)

Hey! Here's the brick!

Where's the bank?

In case you're arrested, your name is John Smith.

Right! And tonight, John Smith makes history!

- (all cheering) - On to the bank!

Call the police!

(laughing)

COP: What's the big idea?

I do this as a protest of the collegiate youth against the tyranny--

- COP: Tell it to the judge! - I reiterate--

I do this as a protest of the collegiate youth of the United States against…

- Sairy! - Amos!

Well, I wouldn't have knowed ya…

if I hadn't have known who you was.

Me nuther.

Where'd you get all them store-boughten clothes, Sairy?

- Laura give 'em to me. - She did?

- She's awful nice, Amos. - Shh.

My name hain't Amos.

- 'Tis too. - 'T ain't nuther. Not no more.

Then what is it?

Herbert-- Herbert, um--

Um, what does it say there?

Chip wrote it down for me.

SAIRY: Herbert van "Dick."

Dyck. Dyck. That's it. Herbert van Dyck.

Well, call my hogs!

Ain't that a name! Where'd you get it?

Chip give it to me for to play this here football with.

Then my name's gotta be van Dyck too, hain't it?

Mm-hmm. I reckon so.

Come on.

Van Dyck.

Gotta get me a high-tone front handle for that.

- I got it! - Huh?

- Murine! - Murine?

Well, that's right fancy. Where'd you get that?

- Off'n a bottle. - (chuckles)

(crowd cheering)

(whistle blows)

- Hike! - (shouting, chattering)

Hike!

(crowd cheering)

(jazz)

Hiya, Van. What's up?

- Hello, Van. How ya doing? - Hiya, van Dyck!

Hello.

- Hello, van Dyck. - Hello.

Hello.

(jazz music playing)

Look!

So that's what kept him out last night.

The little devil. She must be rooting for Yale.

Get a load of that.

When she gets through with him, they'll have to plow him under.

You're not kidding.

- Hello. (chuckles)

What's the matter?

He's cutting in. I'll have to dance with him.

- With both of us? - No.

We'll dance around, and you cut in on us. See?

Oh.

Aw, shucks.

I thought you didn't want to go to this dance.

- I changed my mind. - Don't kid me.

You've fallen for that hillbilly just 'cause he got his picture in the papers.

Oh, have I?

Guess I'd better take this back to the jewelers.

- For me? - It was.

Oh, Morty, darling.

(music ends)

- Hiya, big boy. - Having a nice time?

Well, I was, but I'm a-gettin' kinda tired.

- I reckon I'll go on home. - Where's Sally?

Oh, I don't know.

Go get him.

- Oh, Mr. van Dyck. - Huh?

You haven't danced with me yet.

Well, gosh, I don't feel much like dancin' no more.

MAN: Where's Tommy? We want the Balboa!

- Come on! - ALL: The Balboa! (cheering, shouting)

All right! Balboa! We want the Balboa!

Okay! The Balboa!

Come on. They're gonna do the Balboa.

Oh, I can't do no newfangled dancin'.

Oh, come on. It's easy.

(jazz music playing)

♪ Once Balboa ♪

♪ Famed Balboa ♪

♪ Found the great Pacific shore ♪

♪ But Balboa ♪

♪ Old Balboa ♪

♪ Wouldn't know it any more ♪

♪ To be specific his Pacific Ocean ♪

♪ Has a different and terrific motion ♪

♪ At a glance ♪

♪ He'd fall ♪

♪ For a dance ♪

♪ We call ♪

♪ The Balboa, The Balboa ♪

♪ It's a dance that had to click ♪

♪ That Balboa Our Balboa ♪

♪ Take three steps and then you kick ♪

♪ Keep on dancing ♪

♪ And you'll discover ♪

♪ That you're romancing ♪

♪ Your dancing lover ♪

♪ Shake a little bit Swing a little bit ♪

♪ Break a little bit Wing a little bit ♪

♪ Hop a little bit Toe a little bit ♪

♪ Stop a little bit Go a little bit ♪

♪ Oh, Balboa ♪

♪ Balboa ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

- ♪ Jump a little bit swing a little bit ♪ - ♪ Jump, swing ♪

- ♪ Bump a little bit, wing a little bit ♪ - ♪ Bump, wing ♪

- ♪ Hop a little bit, toe a little bit ♪ - ♪ Hop, toe ♪

- Stop! Go! - ♪ Stop a little bit, go a little bit ♪

ALL: ♪ Oh, Balboa ♪

♪ Balboa ♪

- ♪ Let's go ♪ - ♪ Jump a little bit, swing a little bit ♪

♪ Bump a little bit Wing a little bit ♪

♪ Balboa ♪

(laughing)

- Why, Amos, what's the matter? - I'm a-goin' home.

- Why, you can't do that, Amos. - Yes, I can.

Folks like me and Sairy don't belong here nohow.

I'm a-waitin' for her now.

Soon as she gets here, we're trackin' back home.

Look, Amos, you wouldn't throw us down like this, would you, old man?

Everybody's depending on you.

Why, we can't get along without you, Amos.

Oh, I reckon some folks around here can get along without me.

Who? What do you mean?

I'd rather not say. It's--it's kinda personal.

Why, it isn't Sally, is it?

Well, I hain't sayin' it 'tis, and I hain't sayin' it 'tain't.

Amos, why, that little flirt is nothing but an ordinary--

You shut your mouth, Chip!

You can't talk that-a-way about the gal I love.

Now you be gettin' on outta here.

Amos, I didn't mean that--

I said, you git!

(water running)

- Hi, Chip. - Hi.

- (doorbell ringing) - Come in!

- Oh, hello, Mrs. Winters. - Hiya.

- Is the coach in? - Why, yes.

Oh, hello, Chip.

Bad news, Coach. Amos is going home.

(chuckling) I thought you s-- What?!

Don't break up house yet!

Why is he leaving?

On account of Sally. She gave him the air.

- Can't you make her listen to reason? - She won't budge.

And what's more, she knows who Amos is

- and threatens to spill the beans. - There goes Yale.

It's a jinx. I give up.

We can't give up.

You city people don't realize what this Yale game means to our little college.

It's more than just a football game.

It's our chance to show the whole country

that a college doesn't have to be big to be good.

This isn't only TSU's fight.

We're fighting for all the small colleges

that haven't got thousands of students and millions of dollars

but are just as good as your Yales and Harvards and Princetons.

And they're all watching us and pulling for us.

We can't let them down.

We gotta win!

I'm with you, son.

Nobody's quitting now, not after that speech.

It's a lucky thing for him you're not selling pianos.

Come on, stupid, think of something.

We've gotta keep Amos here.

How? By breaking his leg?

Darn little flirt. She even flirted with you at the dance.

Yeah, but I didn't flirt back.

- But you will. That's it! I've got it! - What do you mean?

You're gonna pick Sally up, take her out and make love to her.

I'm-- Who, me? What for?

Leave that to me. You just make love to her.

But I can't do that.

- Besides, I'm-- I'm out of practice. - You're telling me!

Well, what's your idea, Mrs. Winters?

Stick around and you'll learn something they don't teach in college.

Gee, I never won a football game this way before.

Aw, Bessie, honest, I don't wanna do this.

- You'll do it and like it. - All right.

(humming)

- What's Sally's address? - She lives on Bird Street.

I think the number is 1216.

It's 1218.

Sairy!

Sairy!

Murine!

♪ You ♪

♪ Do the darnedest things ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ But, oh, you're so doggone cute with it all ♪

COACH: ♪ I'd like to ♪

♪ Clip your wings, baby ♪

♪ You're flying so high you're due for a fall ♪

We'll give him a little time. Not too much.

♪ Your attitude slays me ♪

♪ I'm almost afraid ♪

♪ You're driving me crazy ♪

♪ I must be "tetched" in the "haid" la-di-da ♪

♪ You do the darnedest things ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ But, oh, you're so doggone cute with it all ♪

(chuckles)

Sweetheart! Darling!

- My, but you work fast. - Well, I'm in a hurry.

I-I mean, I'm kind of a busy man.

You know, I've never been out with a coach before.

Neither have I.

I-I mean, uh-- (chuckles)

He's really enjoying it, the rat!

My wife's all right,

but she just doesn't understand me.

I wondered how a good-looking man like you…

could be stuck with a crow like her.

- Yeah, me too. - (chuckles) Yeah.

Bessie-- I-I mean, Sally, you're wonderful.

You do something to me.

This thing has gone far enough.

- (groans) - (gasps, whimpers)

- What is it? - Aha!

So I've got you at last!

Wait a minute, honey. I can explain everything.

- Oh, yeah? Well, explain this! - (screams)

As for you, you little cheat, you'll hear from my lawyer.

I'm going to sue him for divorce and name you as correspondent.

Oh, no, no, you can't.

I've never been out with him before. Honest, Mrs. Winters.

We haven't done anything wrong.

- You're my witnesses! - Oh, please! Please!

I swear your husband doesn't mean a thing to me.

I'm in love with somebody else.

- Who? The 7th Regiment? - Uh-uh.

Herbert van Dyck, for instance?

Yes! Yes! Everybody knows we're practically engaged.

Is she lying about this?

She's been going out with him.

AMOS: Sairy! Sairy!

Sairy!

That's him now!

Sounds like he's calling hogs. Must be paging you.

Go on. But if I find out you're not engaged to him,

I'll file my divorce papers in the morning.

Well, that's that. Come on. Let's go.

Wait a minute, Mrs. Winters. Haven't you forgotten something?

(groaning)

Oh!

(groans)

- Here. - (groaning continues)

There.

You didn't have to sock me so hard, did you?

Imagine what I'll do if I ever really catch you.

Come on.

- (band playing a march) - (cheering)

What do you mean, we can't sleep six in an upper berth?

Have you got your baggage, dear?

- Yeah, Ma. Here it is. - (hooting, laughing)

Come on, gang! Let's get going!

(cheering continues)

Promise, darling, when you're not with me

that you won't flirt with any other girls.

Say, where do we eat on this here train?

Come on. Let's go this way.

Isn't it exciting? The whole town's here to see us off.

I only hope they're all here when we come back.

Statement for the press, Mr. Winters?

Why, uh, yes. Uh, you can quote me as saying:

As Coach Winters boarded the train for New Haven, he said,

My players are in fine physical and mental condition…

and will fight to the last man for Texas.

And on the eve of battle,

I feel very confident of victory.

- But if we should lose, I-- - (clicking)

We will have no alibi. Come on.

- (cheering, shouting) - (train whistle blows)

- All aboard! - All aboard!

Hey, General, have we got time just for one song?

- I guess so. - Swell! Come on!

Oh, no, no. Not right now!

No, we've written a special song,

but we're saving it for the big game.

- Aw, come on! - Mr. Chip, I got a song. Can I sing it?

- Would it make you happy, honey? - Oh, it sure would.

Then you sing it! Come on!

Hey, let's go!

Okay, fellas, hit it.

(band playing)

♪ We're going east our work has ceased ♪

♪ We're all set for Yale to say the least ♪

♪ We're out to win ♪

♪ So let's begin now ♪

♪ We're from the west we'll never rest ♪

♪ Till we show the world our team's the best ♪

♪ We'll sweep the land We'll show 'em ♪

♪ And how ♪

♪ The Texas Tornado is coming your way ♪

♪ So everybody step aside ♪

♪ The Texas Tornado is funny that way ♪

♪ So everybody better hide ♪

♪ This devastating gale is headed straight for Yale ♪

♪ Won't it be great to sail into town ♪

♪ We'll overpour the bowl We'll knock 'em for a goal ♪

♪ But then we'll score ♪

♪ A touchdown ♪

♪ There's no one in Texas who really suspects us ♪

♪ Coming home without that game ♪

♪ The whole state of Texas sincerely expects us ♪

♪ Getting in the hall of fame ♪

♪ Yale's pigskin sack is a crackerjack ♪

♪ But we'll bring it back without fail ♪

♪ The Texas Tornado is coming your way ♪

♪ So everybody step aside ♪

♪ Better hide ♪

♪ Yale ♪

(train whistle blows)

(band playing a march)

(huge cheer)

I reckon none of you northern folks ever heard…

a Texas cowhand makin' love to his gal.

Well, you're gonna hear it now.

♪ It's love ♪

♪ I'm after ♪

♪ North, south east and west ♪

♪ I've gone in my quest ♪

♪ Far, wide, high and low ♪

♪ This one thing I know ♪

♪ It's love ♪

♪ I'm after ♪

♪ I don't want to be a millionaire ♪

♪ The only thing on earth for which I care ♪

♪ Is love ♪

♪ Ba-dump-ba-bada-hoo ♪

♪ For love ♪

♪ And laughter ♪

♪ For love and laughter I'd give all that I possess ♪

♪ Don't you know the only name for happiness ♪

♪ Is love, love, love ♪

♪ Rich man, poor man ♪

♪ Beggar man, thieves ♪

♪ Feel the way I do ♪

♪ Because each one of them believes ♪

♪ He'll find ♪

♪ Somebody like ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ It's love ♪

♪ I'm after ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ I'm after ♪

♪ Love It's love I'm after ♪

♪ It may make me rise or make me fall ♪

♪ But it's love ♪

♪ I'm after ♪

♪ After ♪

♪ All ♪

(crowd cheering, applauding)

All right, Sam. You're on.

And a good, good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

This is Sam Hays speaking bringing you a play-by-play account

of the gridiron classic between Yale and Texas State.

I'm looking down on a colorful and certainly a capacity crowd

gathered here to see the little team from Prairie

fight it out with the Yale Bulldogs.

While the weatherman says it's fair and warmer,

it feels to me like it's freezing and getting ready to snow.

But maybe I'm just a little thin-blooded.

The Yale team has come onto the field-- or should I say, the four Yale teams.

They're running through their signals.

And those boys look a little too tough for these Texas lads to handle.

And here come the Texas boys back onto the field again.

(cheering continues)

Texas are in crimson jerseys with white sleeve bands,

wearing white bordered head guards.

They don't look very big but from what I hear,

they make up for their lack of weight with terrific speed.

Sure is mighty chilly up here all of the sudden.

I'll say it is. 'Tain't like down home.

It's snowing!

Yeah, and it isn't gonna help us any.

My, it's cold. I'm freezing.

Well, snow or no, here we go. Let the best team win.

Well, it's started to snow, but nobody around here seems to care.

Yale has won the toss and is going to kick off.

They're lining up in their positions now.

Van Dyck, the Texas pass wizard, isn't in the starting lineup.

- Is he in there, Jerry, or isn't he? - No.

No, friends, he isn't in the starting lineup.

But you can bet Coach Winters will send him in at the first opportunity.

(whistle blows)

(cheering continues)

(whistle blows)

(whistle blows)

Did we gain anything?

About a yard. That Yale line's pretty heavy.

- Snow's getting heavy too. - Yeah.

(whistle blowing)

I should have worn a heavy coat.

We're going to kick!

(cheering continues)

(whistle blows)

Yale has the ball on their own 20-yard line.

First down and 10 to go. We'll see what they're going to do.

(cheering continues)

(whistle blows)

Well, it's five minutes left to play in this nip-and-tuck quarter

with those fighting Texans more than holding their own.

Yale has the ball. Third down and four to go.

And, ladies and gentlemen, it's really snowing a snowstorm.

Looks like Yale's going to kick.

Yes. They're in punt formation-- long punt formation. Cooper back.

Block that kick! Block that kick!

Block that kick! Block that kick!

(cheering continues)

(whistle blows)

Texas ball!

Here you go, Herbie. Go in for Prescott and heave that apple.

I'm a-just a-rarin' to heave, Coach.

Oh. Remember, don't talk on the first play.

- It's Herbie! - Oh, boy! Now we go places!

Van Dyck for Prescott.

Watch closely, young man,

and you'll see how we play football in the great open spaces.

You can watch too.

(whistle blows)

Pretty snappy!

That goes for me too.

(whistle blows)

(murmuring)

Can't you stop them fellas from bustin' through on me?

We'll stop 'em this time, Herbie.

And it'll be a number 38 for a touchdown.

Now, come on, gang! Give it to 'em!

(cheering continues)

(gunfire)

That wasn't bad either, was it, sonny?

That's the way they play football down in Texas, and very good too.

To review the play, Van Dyck faded back,

tossed a cannon pass to Mather, and boy, how this van Dyck can throw 'em.

Mather snagged it and tossed a lateral to Connors,

who ran across the goal line standing up for a touchdown.

No they're lining up to try for the extra point.

(cheering continues)

He missed it.

Aw, who cares? We've just started scoring.

It's a great game, isn't it?

Yeah.

- (gunshot) - There goes the gun, ending the first half

of this terrifically exciting gridiron battle.

The score: Texas, 6, Yale, nothing,

providing one of the biggest upsets of this season.

The Texans, who weren't given a chance, have played magnificently.

In the second quarter,

the weather slowed down their passing attack considerably.

Did I mention that our snowstorm has turned into a blizzard?

But defensively, their work was smart and stubborn.

If Yale doesn't play heads-up football this last half,

those six points'll beat 'em.

What's the matter with you boys anyway?

That whole Texas outfit don't weigh four pounds more than a straw hat,

and they're making monkeys out of ya!

You lose this game, and you'll be the laughingstock of the country.

(band playing a march)

And you, Sparks--

I thought you were making up all that stuff about their passing.

Can I help it if they believe everything they read?

Oh, you--

Now, folks, four of our boys will sing a song

written especially for this occasion.

- Would you like to hear it? - (cheering continues)

We can't sing that song here. It don't fit. We didn't expect this.

Listen to me, fellas.

You can't embarrass me in front of all these people.

Now go in there and sing it, and sing it good.

- But, Tom-- - Go on!

(band playing)

♪ We brought the Texas sunshine here with us ♪

♪ Isn't it fine look at it shine ♪

♪ There isn't a cloud up in the sky ♪

♪ The Texas sunshine brings good cheer with us ♪

♪ For with lots of heat we can't be beat ♪

♪ We're here to do or die ♪

♪ The boys of TSU are western men ♪

♪ Who've come to pull that bulldog's tail ♪

♪ Hail, Texas you son of a gun ♪

♪ We've brought the sun to sweat the boola-boola out of Yale ♪

♪ When western men meet eastern men there's bound to be a storm ♪

♪ But in the west we're at our best ♪

♪ Where the weather's nice and warm ♪

♪ So if the day was cold and gray ♪

♪ We'd have no chance to win ♪

♪ But it's not 'cause it's hot ♪

♪ And we're starting to tell you again ♪

♪ We brought the Texas sunshine here with us ♪

♪ Isn't it fine look at it shine ♪

♪ There isn't a-- whose idea was this ♪

- ♪ The Texas sunshine-- this was my idea ♪ - Yeah.

♪ But I didn't know that they'd have snow ♪

♪ In New Haven in the fall ♪

♪ The boys of Yale will probably be afraid of us ♪

♪ Because we pulled their bulldog's tail ♪

♪ Hail, Texas you son of a gun ♪

♪ We've brought the sun to sweat the boola-boola out of Yale ♪

(crowd cheering, laughing)

It's great, boys, it's great! You got those Yale guys dizzy!

Don't forget what I told you-- Keep it up! Don't let it down!

Herbie, you were terrific.

Just slightly, boss.

Come on, fellas. Up and at 'em.

And remember, a game isn't won until the final gun is fired.

Come on now!

They're lining up for the second half kickoff

on a field completely snowed under.

Yale will kick off to Texas. There's the whistle.

(cheering continues)

(whistle blows)

(whistle blows)

(whistle blows)

What's the matter with you guys? They're stopping us cold.

We can't run in this stuff. Let's try another pass. It's 47 this time.

- The ball's gettin'-- - I know. It's getting slippery.

Come on. Up and at 'em.

Giddyap!

(crowd cheering, gasping)

(whistle blows)

He can't hold that ball. It's too slippery.

That's the third time he's fumbled. Forrest, come here.

Go in for van Dyck.

(crowd chanting) Rah! Rah! Rah!

Forrest for van Dyck! Out!

(cheering continues)

Say, can you get this down to the Texas coach?

But, lady, I--

It's very important. I'm his wife.

Thanks, fella.

Van Dyck, their star passer, is now out of the game,

which means that Texas has given up the offensive

and is going to try to protect that six-point lead.

Yale's ball.

(whistle blows)

Well, friends, this is certainly one for the book.

It's fourth quarter, and the Yale team

hasn't been able to reach the Texas goal line.

The score is still Texas 6, Yale nothing. And Yale has the ball.

(whistle blowing)

(horn blares)

REFEREE: Piling on-- 15 yards.

Uh-oh, that hurts. Texas is penalized 15 yards for piling on.

It puts Yale right down there within scoring distance.

And if they're ever going to score, now's the time.

Hey, you! Come here!

What's the big idea, you robber?

One more crack like that, and I'll penalize you another 15 yards.

Where do you think you are anyway, in Texas?

Ah, you silly--

Can I trouble you again to take this down to him?

It's very important.

Thanks.

(grumbling)

The big blue team is smashing and ripping its way

toward the Texas goal line, and Texas can't stop 'em.

(cheering continues)

(whistle blows)

(whistle blows)

They've put up a great fight, those kids from cow country,

as gallant as I've ever seen.

But they're in a tough spot now.

And here comes the big moment of this man's football game.

The score is tied, 6-6.

Yale is lining up in front of those goal posts,

And Evans is going to try to put that slippery pigskin between those uprights

for that one little point that Yale needs to win.

The ball is snapped!

He made it, and Yale leads Texas 7-6.

- Going to be a cold winter in Texas. - We still got a chance.

What we really need is snowshoes.

Ladies and gentlemen, my nerves are all in tatters.

There's only enough time left for a couple plays.

Yale is holding on to that ball, praying for the final gun,

but it's fourth down and they've got to kick.

They're back to punt formation.

(crowd chanting) Block that kick! Block that kick!

(cheering continues)

(whistle blows)

Texas recovered that blocked kick! This ball game isn't over yet!

Hooray! We still got a chance!

Patterson!

Go in there and tell 'em to run a play over their left guard! Go ahead!

We've still got a chance!

(horn blares)

Flagrant, unsportsmanlike conduct from the Texas bench.

Fifteen yards.

- It's a penalty. - Against us?

Five yards!

- Ten! - Fifteen yards!

- What for? - How do I know?

Maybe it's my poor spelling. Isn't that awful?

The Texas team is penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct

from the Texas bench.

And that looks like it's about the end of your old ball game.

We haven't got a chance! We haven't got a chance!

- You haven't got a brain either. - I haven't got a brai--

What are you doing here?

Suffering while you're throwing the game away.

- The only way-- - Will you keep out of this!

- Watson. - Oh!

What's the matter? Every time--

Ah!

Yeah! Now we've got a chance!

Herbie! Out of the way, boys.

Herbie! Come here!

- Yes, ma'am? - Oh, Herbie, listen, and listen carefully.

I want you to go out there and--

- Here. You got it? Get going! Hurry! - Yes'm.

(horn blares)

They've sent van Dyck back in.

I think he's going to try a desperate, last-minute pass.

Wait a minute. What's this?

Van Dyck sitting down in the mud. Do my eyes deceive me?

No, sir. He's taking off his shoes and stockings.

It's a sight you may never see again.

The stories about him must be true-- he likes to feel his toes grip the earth.

He's getting ready to put everything he has into one long pass.

The timekeeper has his gun ready to end the game.

Van Dyck's getting up now.

- Pass! Pass! - I got him!

(cheering continues)

Van Dyck scores! It's a touchdown! Touchdown!

(end-of-game gunshot)

(gunfire)

(screams)

Slug! Slug! Wake up, slug!

- (muttering) - Oh, come on! Snap out of it!

(muttering) Let's get in there, Coach.

Aw, cut it out! It's all over! Slug, we won!

Oh, I-- what?

- Yeah! We won! We beat 'em, Slug! - We won?

- Whoo-hoo! - Yeah! Whoo!

Hey!

(chorus) ♪ We're from the west We'll never rest ♪

♪ Till we show the world our team's the best ♪

♪ We'll sweep the land We'll show 'em ♪

♪ And how ♪

♪ The Texas Tornado is coming your way ♪

♪ So everybody step aside ♪

♪ The Texas Tornado is funny that way ♪

♪ So everybody better hide ♪

♪ This devastating gale is headed straight for Yale ♪

♪ Won't it be great to sail into town ♪

♪ We'll overpour the bowl We'll knock 'em for a goal ♪

♪ And then we'll score a touchdown ♪

♪ There's no one in Texas who really suspects us ♪

♪ Coming home without that game ♪

♪ The whole state of Texas sincerely expects us ♪

♪ Getting in the hall of fame ♪

♪ Yale's pigskin sack is a crackerjack ♪

♪ But we'll bring it back without fail ♪

♪ The Texas Tornado is coming your way ♪

♪ So everybody step aside ♪

♪ Better hide ♪

- ♪ Yale ♪ - (cheering)