Original subtitles

You feel kind of sad about selling your place, babe?

Yeah, but we're getting married in four months.

We probably have to live in the same house.

Well, I'm excited you're excited.

Still, this place was like my island hideaway.

With all the chaos and the wedding stuff,

it's tough to let it go.

Speaking of wedding stuff,

I cut down our guest list to 80 people. Give or take, 61.

What is it with you needing so many people around all the time?

This last month, living with you, your house is never not full of humanity.

It's not that bad.

- Hey! - There they are.

In case anyone's wondering, it's 6:30 in the morning.

Well, I'm sure they all have good reasons for being here.

- Nope. - Coffee.

I was trying to hide from that one but he found me.

What? You can't be mad at me for this.

Okay, he's gonna start locking the doors,

so do we all have those key necklaces that I made for you?

Great.

Okay, I'll see you every day forever.

Jules, can I borrow your ladder? I threw my Frisbee on the roof.

Sure. Who are you playing Frisbee with?

It's just me.

That's the saddest thing ever said.

As your co-maid of honour,

I have been obsessing about your bachelorette party.

There's this quaint, little strip club in Tampa called the Stud Farm.

It looks like a stable.

All the snacks come in these little feed bags

and for a couple extra bucks,

you can ride the guys around like horses

and they will nibble sugar cubes off of your bouncies.

- I know that place. - You do?

No, because I wasn't abused as a child.

What...

You guys are here again? In our kitchen? In those seats? That's...

My life is Groundhog Day.

I know it is your favourite movie, but I haven't seen it, so no spoilers.

I've seen it six times and I still don't know what I saw.

That's what I want to do for my bachelorette party.

A tiara, and we watch Groundhog Day and you guys can explain it to me.

Oh, my God! It's gonna be the longest party in the world.

Penny Can!

Can you think of anything better to do than an all-day round of Penny Can?

Not enough time in my life to answer that.

That went right into that sewer grate.

I think there's a new rule for that. Andy, get the book.

You made a book?

It's more like a Bible, son.

Sewer, sewer rats, sewer people, here it is.

He's gotta eat something from the mystery bucket.

A mystery bucket!

All right, close your eyes and pray.

Okay, well, is everything at least food?

If I told you that now, it wouldn't be a mystery, would it?

Daddy, can I throw a penny?

Sorry, Stan, this game's for grown-ups.

He got the snail!

- He's got the snail! - Got the snail!

Penny Can!

Can you believe jellybean's stupid strip club idea?

I so want to tell her that I am the real maid of honour

and you only made her one out of pity.

I've had that grenade in my belt for months.

Sometimes at night, it whispers to me,

"Pull the pin. Kill them all."

Just ignore the voices and lotion up.

What are you doing up here reading a book?

Reading a book.

Nerd alert. Scootch.

Double scootch.

Oh, my goodness, look at these elbows.

Looks like someone else could use some.

There you guys are.

- Lotion party. - Sweet.

Squirt me in.

Please. Please stop. I don't want this.

Why are you all touching my stuff?

Penny Can, brother.

Andy got a double-bouncer. That means he's gotta dress like you.

Trav, you okay?

I ate a snail.

Looks like V-necks are all the rage in Douche-Berg.

Stop, stop, stop. Everybody stop talking.

Okay. This is my room. This is my bed. I am reading a book.

Because I like reading! But, see, I can't read because you're always here.

What is that around your neck?

What's this key open?

A lock.

Does it open this house?

They have one, too.

You fool!

What? Are you kidding me?

This is not okay!

This is not okay!

So, do you know why you're here?

I think so.

Show her your trophies, sweetie.

You had a little break.

But it's no biggie. I mean, stress can cause that.

All of a sudden, it feels like everything is too much.

And you're falling.

Right? You're falling.

Falling, falling.

- Lynn? - Sorry.

Turns out, when your dead husband has another family,

they have a mortgage, too. Herman!

So, Grayson,

you need to remember that when you marry Jules,

you're marrying everyone in her life.

And, Jules, do you know what you need to work on?

Not being so turned on when he gets violent.

I understand why women stay with murderers now.

Because I would.

Okay, we're gonna have to circle back to that,

but you need to understand that Grayson is not you.

He needs privacy in his home.

One second.

I wish I had ripped Andy's ear off.

Jules, is

your shirt off?

Not anymore. What's the matter with me?

I've been thinking about what Lynn said.

You mean when she yelled at us for having sex in her bathroom?

About you needing some privacy.

From now on, I want you to think of this bedroom

as your new island hideaway.

No one is allowed in here without your permission.

You're awesome.

You're invited onto my island right now.

This soon after Lynn's bathroom?

Come on, girl, I'm only 41. I'm always ready.

- Are you serious? - No.

But I was hoping you'd turn me down so I didn't have to admit it.

Got you.

Yeah, that's right. You better run.

Pause.

Okay, Bill Murray is a mean weatherman,

he wakes up, it's the same day, I get it.

But how come the other people don't realise

they're trapped in the same day, too?

Because they're not trapped. They're just there.

When the same thing keeps happening over and over again,

what do they think?

No, they don't think.

So they're like robots?

I mean, I know they're not robots. I'm not that dumb, but...

Are they robots?

- Already praying for death. - Fine.

Play. Okay, pause.

That is such a crappy hotel.

Why doesn't he just check into a new place?

Because he can't change the day before it starts.

He can only change it after it starts.

Do you hear yourself?

Please. Play.

Are you gonna say "play" and "pause" every time?

Pause. Yes.

Play. Wait. Pause. Big Lou needs a refill.

Okay, I'll get it.

Dear God, your dress is so short, I can see your IUD.

It's still a bachelorette party, even though it's a total snooze-fest.

Come on. Laurie, I'm 43.

I had my wild bachelorette party my first wedding.

Man, I got so drunk, I woke up in the ocean.

Exactly. Which is why I predict

that by the end of this night, we are gonna be crazy drunk in some club,

and that dowdy old cardigan Ellie's wearing

is gonna be flossing some hard-body's junk.

You have perfectly predicted the future. You're Ho-stradamus.

I am Ho-stradamus.

That's right, I love the new nickname.

Ho-stradamus!

Ho-stradamus!

Put the pin back in.

Why is nobody shooting?

I can't technically go again until I write down a dozen Van Halen songs.

And Andy got a double rimmer so he's got 10 more skip laps.

Nine more!

There's too many stupid rules.

The 'stache attacks and the ear flicks were fine.

But now you gotta snort salsa,

buy FroYo wearing nothing but sand,

brush Dog Travis' teeth.

All the rules make it better. My calves are on fire.

You're just trying to cover up the fact that Penny Can isn't fun anymore.

You speak ill of the Can again,

you will find yourself in a Cobb headlock.

And FYI, my deodorant this morning was down to the plastic.

You think I'm wrong?

One game. Good old-fashioned, no-frills Penny Can.

Show me it's still fun.

Game on.

- Penny Can! - Penny Can!

What have you done?

Pause.

So if Bill Murray can do anything,

how come he can't save the old homeless guy from dying?

Because some things you can't change.

Well, he saved the little kid in the tree.

Because some things you can change.

You can save children, but you can't save old homeless people.

Who has a cigarette? I haven't smoked in 20 years. I need a smoke.

Okay, this is my final Groundhog Day question.

Forget that he can learn to play the piano,

but he can't remember where the puddle is.

Let's even forget that it's clearly the same groundhog

that Bill Murray used in Caddyshack.

- Oh, my God! - Don't!

Why does the day finally end?

Everyone sit down.

Penny Can is dead.

Why couldn't it have been something no one cares about?

Like hockey, or the Golden Globes?

All right, I'm wearing a tiara.

So why don't you guys go bother someone else.

Smokes?

You guys got any smokes?

My nanny has some nicotine gum in her drawer. Be back.

Oh, boy!

Sit down.

No.

Penny Can is dead.

I'll live. Go be sad on your boat.

Jules told us to come up here and bug you.

Jules Kiki Cobb, get up here!

Someone's in trouble.

We're on the second floor. How are you even here?

I'm returning Jules' ladder.

You sound mad. You want to punch another wall, baby?

Do not find this attractive!

I got a problem.

Did you ask Andy and Bobby to come up here and bug me?

No, I told them to come bug "someone else."

I didn't know who that would be.

Well, did you see them come up the stairs?

You're not the only thing upstairs.

The lotion is upstairs.

- What's going on? - Hey, what you doing?

Oh, my God! This is the same issue over and over. It's Groundhog Day!

You gave me an island, but you didn't mean it.

No, that is not what happened.

Guys, the ladder fell.

You forced me to do this.

What are you doing with that?

Pause.

You can't pause people.

It's okay. I'm not hurt. Maybe.

Hey, Laurie.

What?

Jules only wanted Ellie to be her maid of honour.

She just asked you out of pity.

Is that true?

Fine. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown the grenade,

but you have some responsibility in this.

True. It's my fault for trusting you not to hurt me on purpose.

Look, Tintin,

I can't have Andy moping around because you killed Penny Can.

Mopey leads right to gropey.

Fix it, or bleed.

Fine.

Laurie, I'm so glad you're here.

I'm texting my Army boyfriend, Wade, a picture

so he can see what a total jerk looks like.

Oh, God!

Jules, you really hurt me.

I was so proud when you made me your co-maid of honour.

But you didn't do it out of love,

you just did it to shut me up.

What happened? Did she storm out?

Why are you so low, Tom?

I'm in a wheelchair.

Twenty-six pins in my leg. New Florida record.

Don't you dare give me that bitch grin you get when Laurie's upset.

What? Dogs bark, fish swim, I bitch-grin.

How are you mad at me?

Did she storm out?

I'm not doing play-by-play, Tom.

No problem.

Ball.

Ball's up.

Hey, guys.

You here to kill something else I love?

If you say anything bad about leather sandals, I swear to God...

They are ridiculous, but no, that's not why I'm here.

I have a great idea on how to reboot Penny Can.

Nickel Can. The stakes have never been higher.

Thanks for trying, but it's over, son.

Let's face it.

Penny Can was just a boring game

about getting a tiny round thing into a hole.

Over and over and over.

That's just not something a man can do every weekend for the rest of his life.

Darn it. I'm out.

- At least let me buy you another bucket. - I don't need to.

Come here, boy!

Dog Travis collects them as I go.

How many can he hold in his mouth?

Enough.

Hey, jellybean.

I know you probably want to rub the whole maid of honour thing in my face,

but can you just... Please, just be mean to me later.

No problem. I was gonna do that anyway.

You had no right to use my grenade.

Now, Jules is super pissed at me and I'm addicted to nicotine gum.

Look, Laurie, I'm sorry I said it.

Why didn't she just tell me?

I can handle disappointment.

When you're eight and your mom pretends that you've been kidnapped

so that she can meet the local news anchor,

you learn to be resilient.

I will tell you something.

There are some bad things about this gum.

I didn't sleep at all last night, plus my teeth are bleeding a little.

But it makes you see things super clearly.

It's like epiphany gum.

Realisation gum.

Got it.

This is all Jules' fault.

Plus, I think if I'm not back to work before I'm 50,

I'm gonna leave Andy.

I wish there was a way we could get Jules to own up to her part in all this.

Does anyone have any ideas?

Hold on.

Got it.

Fine. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown the grenade,

but you have some responsibility in all this.

What are you doing?

Look, Tintin,

I can't have Andy moping around because you killed Penny Can.

Mopey leads right to gropey.

Fix it, or bleed.

Fine.

Wait, are we playing Groundhog Day?

I hate confusing games.

Remember that corn maze I got stuck in last Halloween?

I cried all night until those dogs found me.

I'm texting my Army boyfriend, Wade, a picture

so he can see what a total jerk looks like.

Stupid flash.

Jules, you really hurt me.

I was so proud when you made me your co-maid of honour, but...

You asked me, remember?

You put me on the spot.

What was I supposed to do? Just crush you?

What happened? I'm in a wheelchair.

- 26 pins. New Florida record. - 26 pins. New Florida record.

We all know, Tom.

I hate this.

What? Dogs bark, fish swim, I bitch-grin.

How could you be mad at me?

Stop saying the same things!

- 2%? - Skim.

- Want to play again? - I don't really love Milkey Guessy.

Me neither. It's boring.

Plus dairy products give me the splats.

Well, then why not play a little Penny Can?

No, thanks.

You were right, Trav. Penny Can's a stupid game.

It's not about the game.

Penny Can isn't just throwing a penny into a can,

it's about family.

It's about tradition.

Might even be about America.

- Yeah, I don't think so. - Nice try.

Okay, well, for me, it's always been like a father-son thing,

and I'm gonna be 21 in a few days

and I know I'll always be grateful for the time we spent tossing copper.

Stan.

Daddy, will you throw pennies with me?

Oh, my God! It's like Field of Dreams.

- Penny Can! - Yeah!

Penny Can!

You gonna play, son?

No, I've got things to do.

I don't understand why I have to be in bed again.

Because that's how it works!

How'd you rig the clock to do that?

Yeah, yeah, grenade. Keep it moving. We're done.

Look, Tintin, I can't have Andy moping around...

Yup, yup, yup, mopey gropey. Got it.

Come on, let's go. Bye, Trav.

- I'm texting my Army boyfriend, Wade... - Just take the picture.

Oh, God! It gets me every time.

You know, Jules, you really hurt me. I was so proud...

Laurie, stop. This is hell. I cannot hear again how much I hurt you.

I'm so sorry I did that.

I hate disappointing people.

What's going on? I can't see.

26 pins, new record.

Bring it home, Jules.

I should have trusted that our friendship

was strong enough to be up-front with each other.

I love you.

And I'm so happy that you're in my wedding.

And I'm so, so sorry.

Okay.

Yeah. Nice.

Permission to enter?

Permission granted.

So, I finally figured out Groundhog Day.

Man, that movie really opened my eyes.

Bill Murray comedies will do that.

Look, I know this is really hard.

Living in a house full of people, heading towards a big wedding.

Sometimes I want our relationship to be just ours, you know?

Grayson, all I want to do is make you happy.

I mean, every now and then,

I may need you to get prison-yard angry.

Maybe wear a do-rag.

Done.

I'll do anything for you.

Then let's elope.

Seriously?

You wanted to go to Napa for our honeymoon.

Let's go there now and get married.

No huge wedding. Just us.

Let's do it.

I can't believe we're here.

Just us.

We brought our own wine glasses.

Let's pound some grape!

Yeah!

Not what I meant by "just us."

This one's good enough to start.

Cheers, my bride.

Nice grab, Tommy.

Good one!

That's okay, Tommy. You're doing great. You're having fun.

Watch out, birds.