Original subtitles

Thank you.

They say that 67 % of married people are happy, as opposed to 51 % among

singles.

So what?

So part of the 51%, aren't we?

With the two of us, it makes 102%. Question. Are you happy with your

professional life?

Married, yes.

72%. Singles, yes.

60%. Are you happy with your family life? Married, 68%. Singles, 37%. What

you say?

That you're contemplating marriage.

And what's wrong with that? Tell me.

Let's see what they say about sex. After all, that's all that matters.

Would you say that marriage has improved your sexual life?

Yes. 61 %? No.

27 %? Nothing's changed?

Do you think it's better if we were married?

Well, I'm pretty sure some things would be easier.

Yeah, like when another woman is licking your cunt.

And I get to fuck the both of you. We both enjoy a little menage a trois, but

don't get to do it very often. I'm pretty sure that once married, we'd find

partner.

Well, we can try.

But in the meantime...

Morning. Morning.

I'm Monique Martin, the new secretary.

I'm looking for a Mr. Let me check.

A Mr. Vendrier.

You've hit the bullseye, I'm Alex Vendrier. Come in.

My office is upstairs.

Period.

He had her turn her back on the old guy and forced her to bend over.

Period. He then spread with his fingers the trembling and dry lips of Benedict.

That's when the old guy stuck in her the dripping end of his huge cigar.

Are you following?

Sure. Where are you up to?

He stuck in her the dripping end... Of his huge cigar.

Fine. Would you buy that novel?

I don't know. I don't read much. Should we get on?

Is it arousing enough?

Well, it's pretty good.

Does it turn you on? So -so.

Well, then, the Marquis could lick her pussy.

Oh, yeah.

Sounds perfect.

I really like you, Monique. Very much, to tell you the truth, you know. Let's

have some fun.

Come. Your wife! No, she's not my wife. She's Dorothy, a close friend of mine.

Don't worry.

You dirty old pervert. Even worse.

Oh. I can't believe this.

I thought you were truly attractive to me.

Boy, was I wrong. Here's your damn book. You can shove it up your ass, Mr.

Degenerate.

The new secretary, I suppose. I'm Alec. Hi, I'm Aline Bertrand.

This way.

Jean, she then cried. New line?

Within a few seconds, his powerful hands took hold of the naked and beautiful

body of Miss Simpson.

Here it is.

He laid her down on the marble, comma.

And very slowly, slid his huge and hard cock inside the American widow's wet

cunt.

Does he also do her with his guns?

What?

I meant to say, does he caress her body with his gun?

How could you guess?

I think about sex all day long.

I do my best to look like a perfect little secretary.

Usually I manage to stand still, but today...

Today you're going to let yourself loose.

Oh. Oh, meet my wife.

Nice to meet you, ma 'am. Doing good.

I don't mind a threesome. I'd love to let you pussy later.

Are you pro or anti -marriage?

There's nothing like a married couple for a threesome, is there?

Oh. Oh.

That's it.

The car's fixed.

I changed the spark plugs and it's fine.

Oh, I'm sorry. Morning, ma 'am. Alex, meet Ingrid. She's our new neighbor.

Hello. Charmed.

I didn't know the Dubois had moved.

Down holiday in Sweden. We traded places.

We moved in just a couple of days ago.

I just wanted to say hello.

That's a great idea.

So, you're from Sweden, right?

You're absolutely lovely, Ingrid.

I can see a thousand fjords in those big green eyes.

Oh, I love it. So romantic.

Always courting and so French.

You see, a Swede would have washed his hands first.

And he would have been damn right.

Definitely less romantic, but I guess it helps sometimes.

Excuse me.

Alex seems real nice. He's my type.

My husband's friend is also very nice. You will see. I can't wait to meet him.

Morning. Morning. I'm Sven, Ingrid's husband.

Do you want to wash your hands?

I've done it already, see?

It comes in handy.

Is Ingrid in? Oh, yeah.

I mean, yes, she's upstairs. Well, she is...

What

can I

say?

Ingrid! Did everything work out as we planned?

It's better than expected. It's not tomorrow.

Vive la France!

I'm Sven, Ingrid's husband.

I'm Alex.

Do you mind if I do your wife, Alex?

She's not my wife. Ask her.

You guys aren't married?

We're thinking about it, though.

It's definitely more convenient. I'm telling you we couldn't find partners

to that then I just learnt a French trick Come on

I'm always eager to discover local customs when I travel.

I'd like to see what you guys call 69.

Oof.

You see, Alex, if you get married, you'll be able to fuck other women every

Alex Vendrier, do you take Dorothy Cabrin to be your wife?

I do.

Dorothy Cabrine, do you take Alex Vendrier to be your husband?

I do.

By the powers invested in me, I declare you husband and wife.

Congratulations. I wish you the best.

I hope the newlyweds will enjoy our love suite.

Congratulations and best wishes to the new couple from the hotel resort staff.

Hmm, that's cute. Thank you. Oh, sweet attention.

Thanks. Oh, thanks.

Oh, thank you.

What are you smiling at? Is there something funny or what?

Don't forget Mr. Maurice.

Oh.

We have a lot of regular customers, mostly salesmen, so we have to take care

them.

All right. See you later.

Have a good night.

If you lovers need anything, anytime, give me a buzz. Good.

Out.

Now let's see if our magic mints work on them.

Don't worry about it. The effect is guaranteed.

Uh -huh.

Hey, check this out.

Thank you.

She's blowing his magic fife. Check it out. Oh, yeah, you're right.

And she's playing with his nuts at the same time.

That's a thorough job she's doing.

Oh, that dude is one lucky bastard.

Oh, now that's a tongue job. This guy did his homework.

I'm glad for her.

Oh, she's taking the whole thing.

Oh.

Damn,

I could sure use his one -eyed trout. Check out the colossus.

There's no doubt about it. This means true good luck.

Oh, take a look. I bet you're going to love that.

Oh, wait.

Come back. You know the procedure.

Let's wait until they call for help.

Oh, sometimes I wish you could have mercy. You've got work to do. Go and see

salesman.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

Oh. Oh.

That's what I thought.

Folks, that's what I thought.

Got to change the universal joint.

How long does it take?

See, the problem is I don't have all the necessary parts here.

A universal joint's not easy.

I'm going to have to dismantle the front wheel axle unit. Plus, you've got a few

rusted bolts down there.

I'm pretty sure the transmission is fucked up as well.

As soon as my mechanic comes back, I'll send him to pick up the parts.

We're talking a few hours here.

Are you in a hurry?

Kind of. We're on our honeymoon.

Well, this isn't Venice for sure. It's only a little town, you know.

Now, I understand you want it fixed pretty fast.

All right, I'm going to concentrate on your car.

I know how it feels to be newlyweds.

Trouble is, it's already four.

I won't be done before tomorrow.

So we'll have to stay overnight?

Is there a hotel nearby?

Thank you, ma 'am. It's delicious.

Feel free to call her Paulette.

It's awfully nice to let us sleep at your place.

I've got my pride. You can't let a couple of newlyweds spend the night in

cold. No way.

Am I right, Paulette?

Thank you.

How long have you been married now?

Five years. Right, Paulette?

Mm -hmm.

The Nolued's bed, a sacred place, right, Paulette?

What do you say, Dorothy?

You think they're willing to?

Damn,

she did it again.

What's wrong?

What shall we do?

Untie her belt.

It's too tight.

Damn, could you please help me, Alex?

Paulette, darling, come on.

Honey, do you feel better?

This bra is too tight. Let's take it off.

Hold on.

Let's rub this lotion on her body.

. .

.

I can't breathe.

Oh.

Oh.

Thank you.

Mr. and Mrs. Bantry?

Alex and... Alex and Dorsey?

Mm -hmm.

This is the right address.

Hmm. I work for a survey institute. May I ask you a few questions?

Well, come in, then. My wife is out, but I'll try to do my best.

We're testing a new brand of butter.

It is with deep sadness that Mrs. Alexandra Blanc announces the brutal

her dear husband, Henry Blanc, age 30.

Tough call. Imagine a woman in her 30s alone.

Yummy, huh?

The burial, blah, blah, blah. Hey, it's today.

You want to go?

We're not invited.

I've seen it in a movie.

Let's pretend I'm an old friend of his, back from kindergarten.

It's so unfair to lose one person you love. It's so unfair.

Oh.

I'll get it, Alec. No way, I'll get it. Are you crazy?

Out of my way!

Mr. and Mrs.

Vaudrier, I'm here to talk to you about a new life insurance policy.

I'll let you take care of this gentleman.

How kind. Thanks, honey.

This way, please, Mr. Insurance.

Oh.

Amen.

Oh, fuck.

Good afternoon, sir. I'm Leon Dupont from Eternal Insurance.

Are you married?

Yes, yes I am. A colleague of mine was supposed to come. He's already in. He's

giving all the details to my wife. Oh. Please, this way. Oh, thanks.

Here we are.

Oh. Make yourself at home.

Uncle. Uncle.

Uh -oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, my

God.

Oh, my God.

And they lived happily ever after.