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1
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:39,597
You shouldn't be out after dark.
2
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:43,765
Don't you know what town this is?
3
00:00:43,848 --> 00:00:48,811
Yes, run. We enjoy it.
4
00:00:54,448 --> 00:00:58,911
Perhaps it is you who
should not be out after dark.
5
00:00:59,158 --> 00:01:00,451
Yes, run!
6
00:01:04,291 --> 00:01:05,501
Well, well, well, well.
7
00:01:05,584 --> 00:01:07,502
No, no, no, no, no!
8
00:01:07,503 --> 00:01:08,421
Please, please, please!
9
00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:13,340
It was just a joke. See? Eh?
10
00:01:16,428 --> 00:01:21,266
Fake vampires? Tourists.
11
00:01:24,879 --> 00:01:26,441
The festival
has only begun.
12
00:01:26,524 --> 00:01:28,624
There is a vampire in this town
13
00:01:28,706 --> 00:01:30,547
and we are going to find him.
14
00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:45,465
{\an8}The Talisman
of Ordo goes under jewelry.
15
00:01:45,548 --> 00:01:48,431
{\an8}And the Dancing
Dragon's pearl flute,
16
00:01:48,431 --> 00:01:49,773
{\an8}file it under musical instruments.
17
00:01:49,853 --> 00:01:51,495
{\an8}This is the epitome of dullness.
18
00:01:51,515 --> 00:01:52,777
{\an8}We should be out there right now
19
00:01:52,777 --> 00:01:53,935
{\an8}fighting evildoers.
20
00:01:54,018 --> 00:01:55,478
{\an8}That pendulum...
21
00:01:57,519 --> 00:01:59,761
{\an8}...is going to go off any minute.
22
00:01:59,844 --> 00:02:01,903
{\an8}The pendulum hasn't
gone off in over a week.
23
00:02:01,986 --> 00:02:03,708
{\an8}Look, I don't like doing
this just as much as you do,
24
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:04,928
{\an8}but we have to get it done.
25
00:02:04,929 --> 00:02:06,089
{\an8}and for the last time,
26
00:02:06,090 --> 00:02:08,151
{\an8}stop playing with the
Golden Banshee of Kearny.
27
00:02:08,151 --> 00:02:10,026
{\an8}What happens if
the banshee banshees?
28
00:02:10,028 --> 00:02:12,550
{\an8}Well, technically,
heads could explode.
29
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:16,117
{\an8}Which is why Mrs. Astolat wants
everything safely stored in the main library.
30
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:20,404
{\an8}Bleh! The artifacts are fine
and Elaine can kiss my Astolat.
31
00:02:20,404 --> 00:02:23,791
{\an8}Wait, circle back.
What do we do with the ones that could make your head explode?
32
00:02:23,791 --> 00:02:26,154
{\an8}Those are filed in
the restricted section,
33
00:02:26,174 --> 00:02:29,438
{\an8}with fail-safes placed over them so
they can't cause trouble if they get out.
34
00:02:29,458 --> 00:02:32,762
{\an8}Fail-safes? Like what?
35
00:02:32,762 --> 00:02:36,806
{\an8}Well, the Golden Banshee
will go in a soundproof box.
36
00:02:36,806 --> 00:02:40,269
{\an8}Medusa's head will
have a bag over it.
37
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:41,829
{\an8}We're not idiots.
38
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:45,076
{\an8}What's idiotic is that you promised that
before the six months Stone gave you was over,
39
00:02:45,116 --> 00:02:48,540
{\an8}you'd catalog all these artifacts
and put them back where they belong.
40
00:02:48,540 --> 00:02:51,792
{\an8}Almost over, but
we've only been here...
41
00:02:55,215 --> 00:02:57,657
Uh, can Connor and I take this
to Mrs. Astolat in the main library?
42
00:02:57,741 --> 00:02:59,139
- We've never been.
- For good reason.
43
00:02:59,223 --> 00:03:03,142
You are not a Librarian.
Security will have your head.
44
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,687
Ah, remind me.
45
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:07,673
Down the left hall,
third door on the right.
46
00:03:08,872 --> 00:03:13,257
- Sorry, which door? Thank you.
- Third door on the right.
47
00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:15,603
Wow, has it really
almost been six months?
48
00:03:15,603 --> 00:03:17,625
Yeah, feels like
we just got started.
49
00:03:17,625 --> 00:03:19,960
And when it's over, you two
will go back to your normal lives,
50
00:03:19,968 --> 00:03:22,746
and Vik will just become
another artifact in the Library.
51
00:03:22,829 --> 00:03:25,071
Hmm.
The future waits for no man.
52
00:03:25,154 --> 00:03:27,555
That reminds me,
I have to go wait for my broker.
53
00:03:27,638 --> 00:03:28,749
You selling the castle?
54
00:03:28,758 --> 00:03:30,560
Like your friend
Suki suggested?
55
00:03:30,641 --> 00:03:32,101
Uh, yeah.
56
00:03:32,681 --> 00:03:35,586
I know she didn't express it
the right way, but she had a point.
57
00:03:35,669 --> 00:03:37,692
This can't go on forever.
58
00:03:37,692 --> 00:03:40,293
So we have to plan.
I have an IPO to launch.
59
00:03:40,376 --> 00:03:42,098
It needs capital
to get off the ground,
60
00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:45,583
and this is a once in
a lifetime opportunity.
61
00:03:45,583 --> 00:03:49,826
Got it.
We'll stay out of your way when the broker's here.
62
00:03:49,909 --> 00:03:51,559
Excuse me. Sorry.
63
00:03:51,642 --> 00:03:53,824
I didn't think you'd be
so eager to break up the band.
64
00:03:53,907 --> 00:03:55,991
Who said anything about
breaking up the band?
65
00:03:56,011 --> 00:03:58,892
I'm gonna need high-level
security for my company.
66
00:03:58,975 --> 00:04:00,358
I'm a Guardian.
67
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:05,612
Yeah, but who are you gonna guard
if Vikram's stuck in the Library?
68
00:04:05,693 --> 00:04:07,793
Think about it, okay?
69
00:04:28,974 --> 00:04:31,017
You know you're setting that
for a basement in Queens right now.
70
00:04:31,101 --> 00:04:33,662
- It's not what it looks like.
- It looks like after realizing
71
00:04:33,745 --> 00:04:35,447
our time in the
Library is limited,
72
00:04:35,447 --> 00:04:38,271
you're using the door to go somewhere
you'll never have a chance to go again.
73
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:39,773
Okay, it is what it looks like.
74
00:04:39,773 --> 00:04:41,736
- You can't just run off somewhere.
- Why not?
75
00:04:41,736 --> 00:04:44,460
Lysa's off doing the broker thing.
The pendulum's quiet.
76
00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:48,383
You want to come?
Once in a lifetime opportunity.
77
00:04:48,466 --> 00:04:52,745
I can't.
I have to make sure Vikram finishes cataloging.
78
00:04:52,827 --> 00:04:55,270
Finally making progress.
79
00:04:55,353 --> 00:04:58,856
Aah! Charlie!
We have to do that last box again.
80
00:04:58,857 --> 00:05:01,858
Last three, actually.
81
00:05:02,056 --> 00:05:06,267
Curious, where'd you
say you're going again?
82
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:12,684
- Welcome to Kisiljevo.
- It's a village festival. Cute.
83
00:05:12,767 --> 00:05:14,870
It's not just a village festival.
84
00:05:16,623 --> 00:05:20,294
- It's a vampire festival.
- And here you will see
85
00:05:20,377 --> 00:05:23,400
a large assortment
of garlic pastries,
86
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,844
because nothing wards off
a bloodsucker like bad breath.
87
00:05:26,844 --> 00:05:31,422
Garlic, fangs, t-shirts that
say "I went to a vampire festival
88
00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:35,049
and all I got was this neck
wound and strange bout of anemia"?
89
00:05:35,049 --> 00:05:37,912
Kisiljevo is the
birthplace of vampires.
90
00:05:37,932 --> 00:05:39,330
- The birthplace?
- Yup.
91
00:05:39,414 --> 00:05:41,315
This town has the first
recorded sighting of a vampire
92
00:05:41,315 --> 00:05:42,317
way back in the 1700s.
93
00:05:42,317 --> 00:05:44,938
In fact, "vampyr," no "E",
94
00:05:45,021 --> 00:05:48,263
is the most well-known
Serbian word in the world.
95
00:05:48,845 --> 00:05:50,464
I thought vampires
were older than that.
96
00:05:50,547 --> 00:05:53,250
- What about Dracula?
- Yeah, he was a vampire.
97
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:56,795
But they didn't write about him until
the 1800s as a fictionalized novel.
98
00:05:56,876 --> 00:06:00,581
The first recorded newspaper
article of a vampire was in Kisiljevo,
99
00:06:00,581 --> 00:06:04,791
when a farmer,
Petar Blagojavic died, was buried,
100
00:06:04,875 --> 00:06:08,741
and then walked into his house and
demanded his wife give him a new pair of shoes.
101
00:06:08,754 --> 00:06:11,839
- It's quite a story.
- I know. I wrote a paper on it.
102
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,882
The townsfolk dug
him up the next day,
103
00:06:13,882 --> 00:06:15,605
put a stake through his
heart, chopped his head off--
104
00:06:15,605 --> 00:06:18,505
due diligence-- and that was that.
105
00:06:18,589 --> 00:06:21,150
No, it wasn't.
Otherwise, the paper would be really short.
106
00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:25,802
Yeah. I dug up records in the following
months and years of deaths that fit a pattern.
107
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:29,919
I posited that Petar
Blagojavic was still among us.
108
00:06:30,003 --> 00:06:31,984
- And then?
- And then I lost all credibility
109
00:06:32,068 --> 00:06:33,329
and was laughed out of Stuttgart.
110
00:06:33,329 --> 00:06:35,128
Bloody snow cones!
111
00:06:35,211 --> 00:06:37,964
- Hey, blood snow cone?
- Yeah.
112
00:06:40,272 --> 00:06:42,575
- Actually, it's cherry.
- It better be.
113
00:06:42,658 --> 00:06:45,076
- For you?
- Yes, please. Thank you.
114
00:06:46,177 --> 00:06:47,879
- All right.
- Cheers.
115
00:06:47,962 --> 00:06:51,297
Garlic! Garlic!
Don't miss the garlic!
116
00:06:51,298 --> 00:06:54,301
Hey, hey! My friend.
Come, come, come, come.
Come here.
117
00:06:54,301 --> 00:06:56,302
- Ah.
- Look, look, look.
Look what I have.
118
00:06:56,302 --> 00:06:58,244
- Ooh, it's pungent, yeah.
- Do you know where--
119
00:06:58,245 --> 00:06:59,872
Yeah, it's there.
120
00:07:04,471 --> 00:07:05,652
Mm. No, sorry.
121
00:07:05,735 --> 00:07:08,117
How much for this one?
5,000?
122
00:07:08,117 --> 00:07:11,327
This book's, like,
50 years out of date.
123
00:07:11,879 --> 00:07:13,160
That's how you kill a vampire.
124
00:07:13,243 --> 00:07:16,047
- 500.
- It's not even hardwood.
125
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:18,930
Come on, come on. 300?
300? It's a bargain.
126
00:07:23,439 --> 00:07:25,502
You know, thanks
for inviting me today.
127
00:07:25,585 --> 00:07:28,204
It's been a really nice break.
128
00:07:28,288 --> 00:07:32,253
- But...
- Oh, there's a but?
No buts, please.
129
00:07:32,336 --> 00:07:35,080
But I don't think you're
gonna find your vampire here.
130
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,543
At least not in the middle of
the day amongst all these tourists.
131
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:43,053
Actually, there are rumors of a commune
of daywalking vampires in California.
132
00:07:43,053 --> 00:07:46,976
But if you did find one,
you could rub it in the face
133
00:07:47,059 --> 00:07:49,895
of all those
academics who booted you.
134
00:07:49,964 --> 00:07:51,938
The thought had occurred to me.
135
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:54,922
And now we go to the Kisiljevo Keep.
Please keep up.
136
00:07:54,922 --> 00:07:58,092
They cut my pay if
one of you gets eaten.
137
00:07:59,802 --> 00:08:02,470
So is that what you're gonna
do once the six months is up?
138
00:08:02,553 --> 00:08:04,536
- Back to academia?
- It would be amazing
139
00:08:04,536 --> 00:08:07,257
if we could stay with the
Library, but that's not gonna happen.
140
00:08:07,340 --> 00:08:08,963
I burned my online following.
141
00:08:08,963 --> 00:08:11,426
If Academia was forced to take
me seriously, at least I'd have that.
142
00:08:11,446 --> 00:08:16,247
You know? What about you?
You gonna be Lysa's head of security?
143
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:20,078
To be honest, I hadn't even thought about
leaving Vikram until she brought it up.
144
00:08:20,162 --> 00:08:23,863
Even if Jacob Stone and the other
Librarians stick him on a shelf?
145
00:08:23,946 --> 00:08:26,068
If anyone could get in trouble
just sitting on a shelf...
146
00:08:29,331 --> 00:08:30,508
Speaking of.
147
00:08:30,591 --> 00:08:35,116
It's Mrs. A, and she's
using a lot of capital letters.
148
00:08:35,116 --> 00:08:37,738
- Oh.
- We should get back.
149
00:08:37,738 --> 00:08:39,337
You know where
we came in the door?
150
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:40,861
Yeah, just inside the castle keep
151
00:08:40,861 --> 00:08:43,178
near the vampire memorabilia room.
152
00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:46,384
Ooh. I'm gonna run back and get a snow cone.
You want one?
153
00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:48,549
Uh, yeah.
Extra bloody, please.
154
00:08:48,549 --> 00:08:50,918
I'll text Lysa we're on our way.
155
00:09:18,832 --> 00:09:20,292
No way.
156
00:09:38,602 --> 00:09:40,062
Aah! Aah!
157
00:09:48,111 --> 00:09:51,947
- Connor? Connor?
- There you are.
158
00:09:51,948 --> 00:09:55,813
Mrs. A was getting rather piqued you
weren't here to correct my alphabetizing,
159
00:09:55,813 --> 00:09:58,175
even though the
alphabet hasn't changed!
160
00:09:58,175 --> 00:10:01,336
- Connor, is he here?
- I thought he was with you.
161
00:10:01,419 --> 00:10:03,477
He was. I lost him.
162
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,461
I knew he'd never come through
the magic door without me.
163
00:10:05,544 --> 00:10:08,221
But I've searched all
of Kisiljevo. He's nowhere.
164
00:10:08,304 --> 00:10:10,366
You've been to Kisiljevo?
165
00:10:10,449 --> 00:10:12,849
I didn't know what
it was until I got there.
166
00:10:12,932 --> 00:10:15,515
But it was fun.
There was snow cones and t-shirts.
167
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:18,018
And we got separated and now
he's not answering his phone.
168
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:20,360
Are you telling me you went
to the birthplace of vampires
169
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,748
- and did not take any vampire protection?
- No.
170
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:26,095
A crossbow, a vial
of holy water, a stake?
171
00:10:26,178 --> 00:10:28,304
Ooh, I did buy this.
172
00:10:31,425 --> 00:10:33,050
It's not even hardwood.
173
00:10:34,490 --> 00:10:35,785
Where's Lysa?
174
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:38,592
She is selling off the
last of her family inheritance.
175
00:10:38,675 --> 00:10:42,011
You're stuck with me. Ah.
176
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:48,405
- Oh.
- We still have a few hours of daylight left.
177
00:10:48,488 --> 00:10:53,506
Hopefully we can get Connor before that
town turns into a blood-soaked bacchanalia.
178
00:10:53,506 --> 00:10:54,966
No.
179
00:10:57,777 --> 00:10:59,237
Hmm. Ha!
180
00:11:02,405 --> 00:11:03,866
Needs sharpening.
181
00:11:16,649 --> 00:11:19,485
Well, we have a lot to do here.
182
00:11:20,695 --> 00:11:22,322
- You're Lysa?
- Uh, yeah.
183
00:11:22,405 --> 00:11:24,324
I'm from the agency.
184
00:11:24,407 --> 00:11:27,367
Um, do you know
what this stone is?
185
00:11:27,368 --> 00:11:28,962
Uh, no. I'm not sure.
186
00:11:28,962 --> 00:11:31,640
Not a problem.
We can just ask the builder.
187
00:11:31,723 --> 00:11:32,764
It's a castle.
188
00:11:32,847 --> 00:11:36,140
The builder's been dead
for nearly a millennia.
189
00:11:36,308 --> 00:11:37,830
Original stonework.
190
00:11:37,913 --> 00:11:40,071
That's how we'll
put it in the listing.
191
00:11:40,154 --> 00:11:41,415
Yeah. Thank you
so much for coming.
192
00:11:41,498 --> 00:11:44,919
I can appreciate that there
aren't many buyers for a castle,
193
00:11:45,002 --> 00:11:46,919
especially one
without modern wiring,
194
00:11:47,002 --> 00:11:49,602
plumbing, heating,
cooling, or insulation.
195
00:11:49,684 --> 00:11:52,932
But don't forget
what it does have.
196
00:11:52,932 --> 00:11:55,683
Drafts, mold, a working museum--
197
00:11:55,696 --> 00:11:58,698
which is unique to say the least.
198
00:11:58,991 --> 00:12:02,855
Don't worry.
We'll turn every minus into a plus.
199
00:12:02,938 --> 00:12:05,167
Shall we start with the turrets?
200
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:06,710
Uh...
201
00:12:12,210 --> 00:12:14,225
It's all right.
It's all right.
202
00:12:14,308 --> 00:12:15,550
It's a sports drink.
Electrolytes.
203
00:12:15,633 --> 00:12:16,703
You'll need them. See?
204
00:12:16,754 --> 00:12:18,891
Wait, wait.
Who are you? Where am I?
205
00:12:18,973 --> 00:12:23,057
I'm Petar, and, well,
this-- this is my place.
206
00:12:23,058 --> 00:12:25,681
You took a nasty
blow to your head.
207
00:12:25,764 --> 00:12:27,864
Charlie. My friend.
208
00:12:28,783 --> 00:12:31,886
- Where is she?
- Yeah, your phone took a nasty blow, too,
209
00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:37,073
- and you were alone when you fell.
- I fell?
210
00:12:37,155 --> 00:12:40,617
I was climbing the
wall because I saw...
211
00:12:41,322 --> 00:12:43,866
- I saw you.
- What, me?
212
00:12:43,949 --> 00:12:46,190
No, no, no, no, no.
I just found you.
213
00:12:46,227 --> 00:12:50,090
That's it.
So, um-- oh, jeez!
214
00:12:50,173 --> 00:12:52,993
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to scare you.
215
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:55,119
Usually,
I stay in my apartment during the festival,
216
00:12:55,119 --> 00:12:57,953
but I ran out of
O-positive, and corn chips.
217
00:12:58,037 --> 00:13:00,059
So I nipped out in the
afternoon shadows to the store.
218
00:13:00,073 --> 00:13:03,438
With all those vampire hunters out
there this year, it seemed the safest.
219
00:13:03,458 --> 00:13:06,043
You're a vampire?
A real one?
220
00:13:06,102 --> 00:13:10,809
Shh. You really think
Mrs. Kulik upstairs needs to know that?
221
00:13:10,809 --> 00:13:13,653
- Just, uh-- just stay back.
- Oh, come on.
222
00:13:13,653 --> 00:13:16,017
Listen, you're the
one who chased after me.
223
00:13:16,017 --> 00:13:17,419
I thought you might
be a vampire hunter,
224
00:13:17,439 --> 00:13:20,065
and I hissed a
little and scared you.
225
00:13:20,123 --> 00:13:24,460
- And you fell.
- So a vampire saved my life?
226
00:13:24,609 --> 00:13:28,737
Well, yeah.
Well, technically, yes.
227
00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:33,303
A vampire who's
a real sneakerhead.
228
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,787
Stokerian lore says as a vampire must
maintain a connection to their homeland.
229
00:13:39,870 --> 00:13:42,068
Dracula famously traveled
with Transylvanian dirt.
230
00:13:42,151 --> 00:13:44,515
That always seemed like a lot to me.
I just keep a lease.
231
00:13:44,598 --> 00:13:46,460
- You're from Kisiljevo?
- Mm-hmm.
232
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:47,802
So you're not just a vampire.
233
00:13:47,803 --> 00:13:50,487
You're Petar Blagojavic,
who rose from the dead
234
00:13:50,487 --> 00:13:52,655
and asked his wife
for his pair of shoes!
235
00:13:52,655 --> 00:13:54,900
You're the first
vampire ever recorded.
236
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:57,993
- That is so cool!
- Yes, yes.
237
00:13:57,994 --> 00:14:01,897
- Suck it, Stuttgart!
- Uh, please sit.
238
00:14:01,898 --> 00:14:04,280
Um, I am the first vampire,
239
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:09,986
and I'm afraid you will
soon become the latest.
240
00:14:10,145 --> 00:14:11,246
What do you mean?
241
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:14,813
Well, you fell really,
really, really hard.
242
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:15,934
And I thought the only way
243
00:14:15,934 --> 00:14:18,497
to save you was, well, you know...
244
00:14:18,497 --> 00:14:19,501
You bit me?
245
00:14:19,502 --> 00:14:20,962
The...
246
00:14:23,179 --> 00:14:25,481
Wait, hold-- hold on.
There's only one hole.
247
00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:27,420
I only got one fang. See?
248
00:14:27,503 --> 00:14:29,505
The other one was
removed, like, ages ago.
249
00:14:29,588 --> 00:14:31,591
In the late Victorian era,
when vampires were all the rage,
250
00:14:31,591 --> 00:14:34,734
there were rumors that taking out
a vampire's tooth would cure them.
251
00:14:34,754 --> 00:14:36,455
Yeah, it didn't
work, unfortunately.
252
00:14:36,455 --> 00:14:38,698
It only cured the cure.
253
00:14:38,781 --> 00:14:43,201
Um, corn chip?
254
00:14:45,867 --> 00:14:48,035
Right. Where are we?
255
00:14:48,286 --> 00:14:50,469
Just inside the gate to the keep.
256
00:14:50,552 --> 00:14:52,711
The festival's down
in the main square.
257
00:14:52,794 --> 00:14:53,813
- Festival?
- Yeah.
258
00:14:53,896 --> 00:14:56,079
Why anyone would celebrate
a vampire is beyond me.
259
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:58,966
They are not happy little
elves leaving pots of gold
260
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,983
or intoxicating drinks. No.
261
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:04,632
If you ever met a
vampire, you would be eaten.
262
00:15:04,715 --> 00:15:07,799
Yeah, well,
I'm really hoping that's not what happened to Connor.
263
00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:09,722
Vampires can't go out in the open.
264
00:15:09,722 --> 00:15:12,480
If he has been taken,
he's being held inside,
265
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,646
assuming he hasn't
been exsanguinated already.
266
00:15:14,729 --> 00:15:17,732
Yeah, well, let's
assume he hasn't.
267
00:15:19,176 --> 00:15:20,595
Why did you go
with Connor, anyway?
268
00:15:20,678 --> 00:15:23,810
Impulse. I shouldn't
have abandoned you.
269
00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:25,852
Leaving me to
Mrs. A's infernal devices.
270
00:15:25,852 --> 00:15:27,623
That's not what I mean.
271
00:15:27,706 --> 00:15:29,874
You're my charge, sir,
the one I'm meant to protect,
272
00:15:29,957 --> 00:15:31,739
and now you're in just
as much jeopardy as he is.
273
00:15:31,779 --> 00:15:36,018
- Charlie, I appreciated your--
- Lysa offered me a job.
274
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,482
There's something
I should tell you.
275
00:15:37,565 --> 00:15:42,070
There is someone behind you right
now about to put a bag over your head.
276
00:15:42,211 --> 00:15:44,393
What did you mean when
you said removing the teeth
277
00:15:44,393 --> 00:15:47,357
- cured the cure?
- Right, so-- oh, jeez.
278
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,484
Man, I bit my lip.
Happens all the time.
So where were we?
279
00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:52,559
Oh, yes, vampire physiology.
280
00:15:52,642 --> 00:15:55,043
So with both teeth, you
can recirculate the blood,
281
00:15:55,126 --> 00:15:57,670
meaning you can drink without
turning anyone into a vampire.
282
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:02,478
With one tooth, no
recirculation, so baby vampire.
283
00:16:02,478 --> 00:16:07,045
I haven't bitten anyone since blood banks
were invented, so it was moot until now.
284
00:16:07,045 --> 00:16:10,330
Yeah, I didn't know that,
and I know a lot about vampires.
285
00:16:10,330 --> 00:16:13,055
Well, I suppose it's tough
to study vampiric bodily systems
286
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,818
since we turn
into ash when we die.
287
00:16:14,818 --> 00:16:16,945
It doesn't leave a lot to dissect.
288
00:16:16,946 --> 00:16:18,327
Are you sure you
don't want any food?
289
00:16:18,328 --> 00:16:21,907
You're gonna be starving
once you change completely.
290
00:16:21,907 --> 00:16:24,920
- Wait, hold on, am I not a vampire yet?
- You are.
291
00:16:25,003 --> 00:16:28,006
It's just your vampirism isn't
permanent until the first nightfall.
292
00:16:28,089 --> 00:16:30,715
Most of the people get bitten
at night, so this isn't an issue.
293
00:16:30,752 --> 00:16:33,629
So there's a window.
I still have time to go to the Library
294
00:16:33,635 --> 00:16:38,300
- and maybe find a way...
- Are you mad?
295
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,320
It's still day outside.
We'll both burn up.
296
00:16:40,403 --> 00:16:42,225
Well, I can't just sit
here and wait to develop
297
00:16:42,225 --> 00:16:45,288
- an insatiable blood lust.
- Listen, I'm sorry, okay?
298
00:16:45,288 --> 00:16:49,146
I'm so sorry, but without my other
tooth, there's nothing we can do.
299
00:16:49,229 --> 00:16:52,621
Please, let's just-- listen.
Let's just chill.
300
00:16:52,704 --> 00:16:55,539
Watch some TV.
I have more snacks.
301
00:16:56,689 --> 00:17:00,313
Do you have any idea
what happened to your tooth?
302
00:17:00,434 --> 00:17:02,186
Actually, I do.
303
00:17:06,842 --> 00:17:07,861
Yeah.
304
00:17:07,945 --> 00:17:09,323
Are you all right, sir?
305
00:17:09,407 --> 00:17:11,907
Other than these
cursed bindings, fine.
306
00:17:12,851 --> 00:17:14,930
Do not worry.
307
00:17:15,013 --> 00:17:18,138
Soon enough, you will be free...
308
00:17:19,661 --> 00:17:22,282
of all your curses.
309
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,302
Hello, vampyr.
310
00:17:32,306 --> 00:17:33,766
?
311
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:37,144
He's not.
He's a normal person.
312
00:17:37,227 --> 00:17:38,686
Piff and tosh, I tell you.
313
00:17:38,770 --> 00:17:41,613
Okay, normal might be a
stretch, but he's not a vampire.
314
00:17:41,613 --> 00:17:43,669
Silence, little familiar.
315
00:17:43,753 --> 00:17:45,513
We know you're on his thrall.
316
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:47,640
- His what?
- You called him sir,
317
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,016
spoke of your lifetime
of devotion and service.
318
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:52,763
Having someone pledge eternal
loyalty does not make me a vampire.
319
00:17:52,846 --> 00:17:54,597
You speak like a vampyr.
320
00:17:54,608 --> 00:17:57,443
Dress like a vampyr.
Your coat.
321
00:18:04,642 --> 00:18:07,644
Stanislav and Sons, Belgrade.
322
00:18:09,448 --> 00:18:12,468
Stanislav and Sons closed
in the late 19th century.
323
00:18:12,552 --> 00:18:15,151
Damn. I'll never get
those cuffs adjusted.
324
00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:17,896
Isn't there a simpler way
to test if he's a vampire?
325
00:18:17,979 --> 00:18:20,079
- Hmm.
- A stake.
326
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,097
Stab him.
327
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:25,205
And if he turns to
dust, he's a vampire.
328
00:18:25,288 --> 00:18:28,411
And if I don't,
I'm still alarmingly dead.
329
00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:31,552
The sun.
It's still daylight.
330
00:18:31,636 --> 00:18:34,411
You take me outside and this
will all be settled very quickly.
331
00:18:34,431 --> 00:18:37,975
It's a trick.
He must be able to walk in the day.
332
00:18:37,975 --> 00:18:39,553
- Like "Blade."
- Or "Twilight."
333
00:18:39,637 --> 00:18:42,460
- Or "The Vampire Diaries."
- What nonsense do you speak of?
334
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,561
Vampires cannot walk in the sun.
335
00:18:44,561 --> 00:18:48,022
Actually, sir, there's rumors
of a commune in California.
336
00:18:48,487 --> 00:18:50,147
Not helping.
337
00:18:52,207 --> 00:18:53,509
Dude, these
cloaks are amazing.
338
00:18:53,592 --> 00:18:56,010
Is it a Minerva
shroud imbued by a witch?
339
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,013
Do you know how much
Minerva shroud costs?
340
00:18:58,097 --> 00:19:00,540
Nah, this is the same
material as my blackout curtains.
341
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,311
And they work great.
See? No sun gets through.
342
00:19:03,394 --> 00:19:04,896
You know, I never
thought how modern tech
343
00:19:04,896 --> 00:19:08,107
improved the lives of the undead.
344
00:19:08,161 --> 00:19:11,986
Yeah. My favorite?
Shock absorbing insoles.
345
00:19:11,987 --> 00:19:13,368
They're like magic.
346
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,162
You know,
I have a friend who says
347
00:19:15,163 --> 00:19:17,873
magic is just science
we don't understand yet.
348
00:19:17,955 --> 00:19:21,124
I wonder what she'll make
of my imminent vampirism.
349
00:19:21,199 --> 00:19:22,882
You shouldn't tell your
friends about what's happening.
350
00:19:22,902 --> 00:19:25,526
My friends are smart.
They can help.
351
00:19:25,526 --> 00:19:29,845
When I changed, nobody knew
what was going on, least of all me.
352
00:19:29,928 --> 00:19:32,590
My friends tried to help and I--
353
00:19:32,674 --> 00:19:34,253
I just couldn't control myself.
354
00:19:34,336 --> 00:19:36,815
And you won't be able to either.
355
00:19:36,898 --> 00:19:38,320
So if you truly care about them,
356
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:40,234
until we retrieve my tooth,
357
00:19:40,459 --> 00:19:42,482
it's better to keep your distance.
358
00:19:42,565 --> 00:19:45,365
Then let's get that tooth.
You sure you know where you're going?
359
00:19:45,448 --> 00:19:49,846
Of course.
I traded my tooth for safe passage across a bridge.
360
00:19:49,929 --> 00:19:52,071
Who do you trade a
tooth to at a bridge?
361
00:19:52,156 --> 00:19:54,758
Unless they live under the bridge.
362
00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:56,814
No way.
We're gonna meet a troll?
363
00:19:56,898 --> 00:19:59,260
You're getting way too excited.
364
00:19:59,343 --> 00:20:01,895
I have a plan.
365
00:20:01,978 --> 00:20:04,580
We find a way to distract
the extremely serious leader
366
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,884
and you take out the
rest of them one by one.
367
00:20:06,904 --> 00:20:10,205
Why didn't you react when I told you
Lysa offered me a job?
368
00:20:10,289 --> 00:20:11,369
This is hardly the time.
369
00:20:11,369 --> 00:20:15,676
You also didn't seem at all worried about
Lysa selling the castle.
370
00:20:15,676 --> 00:20:18,177
I don't care what Lysa does with the castle.
It's hers.
371
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,304
It's your access to the Annex.
372
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:24,517
Do you know something
about our future I don't?
373
00:20:29,655 --> 00:20:34,657
We have agreed on an appropriate
test of your vampiric nature.
374
00:20:34,741 --> 00:20:36,515
Oh, God, not garlic.
375
00:20:36,599 --> 00:20:38,542
The pungent flavoring
of the peasantry.
376
00:20:38,561 --> 00:20:39,761
May I interject?
377
00:20:39,844 --> 00:20:41,804
We've been tied to these
chairs for a while now
378
00:20:41,887 --> 00:20:44,096
and I really need
to use the bathroom.
379
00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:47,815
- Don't pull that with us.
- I may be enthralled, but my bladder isn't.
380
00:20:47,815 --> 00:20:49,900
I need to go.
381
00:20:53,823 --> 00:20:56,806
- What are you doing?
- Executing your plan.
382
00:21:05,666 --> 00:21:08,648
- Ow.
- Not ow. Say ahh.
383
00:21:09,327 --> 00:21:13,032
Well, you could at least
make it a choo-choo train, hmm?
384
00:21:13,536 --> 00:21:14,412
Ahh...
385
00:21:16,762 --> 00:21:18,722
No funny business.
386
00:21:18,805 --> 00:21:21,046
Just regular business.
387
00:21:23,770 --> 00:21:27,115
What's with
these small-minded men?
388
00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:30,075
It's bloodlust
this, bloodlust that.
389
00:21:30,157 --> 00:21:33,103
Do you ever get a vacation?
A break?
390
00:21:33,186 --> 00:21:36,898
A boot up the side of the head?
391
00:21:42,725 --> 00:21:44,023
You sure
this is the right bridge?
392
00:21:44,108 --> 00:21:45,891
It's pretty quiet out here.
393
00:21:45,891 --> 00:21:46,896
Sure, I'm sure.
394
00:21:46,952 --> 00:21:49,395
I mean, it is a little
bit hard to see through,
395
00:21:49,435 --> 00:21:52,294
what is this-- sports section?
396
00:21:52,378 --> 00:21:54,020
But you never forget
a bridge you had to cross
397
00:21:54,020 --> 00:21:56,080
in the dead of night
during World War II.
398
00:21:56,163 --> 00:21:58,045
- Running from the Germans?
- No, no.
399
00:21:58,045 --> 00:22:00,287
No, I was shaving ten
minutes off my commute.
400
00:22:00,307 --> 00:22:03,586
Of course I was running
from the Wehrmacht.
401
00:22:03,586 --> 00:22:06,529
You've seen quite a lot
in your time, haven't you?
402
00:22:06,529 --> 00:22:09,853
Look, if this doesn't work out,
403
00:22:09,853 --> 00:22:11,475
it isn't so bad being a vampire.
404
00:22:11,475 --> 00:22:14,185
I mean, your life's your
own, and you get to travel.
405
00:22:14,199 --> 00:22:16,873
- I've been everywhere.
- Huh.
406
00:22:16,955 --> 00:22:22,442
I know I come off as
a go with the flow type,
407
00:22:22,525 --> 00:22:25,772
but there are things I'd miss.
408
00:22:25,772 --> 00:22:29,092
I finally got to a place
where I feel I should be
409
00:22:29,176 --> 00:22:31,637
with a great group
of people, and...
410
00:22:33,690 --> 00:22:35,790
It doesn't matter,
411
00:22:36,354 --> 00:22:39,257
'cause I don't get to
have that future anyway.
412
00:22:40,602 --> 00:22:42,644
Well, the future doesn't worry me.
413
00:22:42,727 --> 00:22:45,950
If I miss out on something,
I'm just patient.
414
00:22:45,951 --> 00:22:47,411
Huh.
415
00:22:47,661 --> 00:22:49,121
Whoa, whoa.
416
00:22:49,395 --> 00:22:51,211
Definitely the right bridge.
417
00:22:51,294 --> 00:22:53,678
Whoa! Chill, man. Chill.
418
00:22:53,762 --> 00:22:59,684
How dare you disturb my
peace, you peace disturber?
419
00:22:59,732 --> 00:23:01,858
- We just have a question.
- Question?
420
00:23:01,858 --> 00:23:03,801
I don't answer questions.
421
00:23:03,884 --> 00:23:08,703
I stomp and I crush bones
422
00:23:08,786 --> 00:23:09,007
and, uh, uh...
423
00:23:09,008 --> 00:23:14,115
Do you, uh, need a minute or--
424
00:23:14,115 --> 00:23:17,159
I'm sorry, man.
I haven't done this in a while.
425
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,453
Nobody comes over
this bridge anymore.
426
00:23:19,453 --> 00:23:23,979
- Stupid expressway.
- Okay, I'll make it quick.
427
00:23:23,980 --> 00:23:26,724
During World War II, you
acquired a vampire fang.
428
00:23:26,732 --> 00:23:31,234
I can't even transition to the new
line of work since I lost my phone.
429
00:23:31,318 --> 00:23:34,622
- New line of work?
- Yes, online trolling.
430
00:23:34,686 --> 00:23:37,770
It's the only growth
industry for us trolls, you know.
431
00:23:37,770 --> 00:23:39,112
I'm sorry,
I'll crush your bones now.
432
00:23:39,132 --> 00:23:41,926
- Come on.
- How about I trade?
433
00:23:41,976 --> 00:23:44,317
That's what trolls do, right?
434
00:23:44,839 --> 00:23:47,742
You could do a lot
of damage with this.
435
00:23:48,281 --> 00:23:51,744
Oh, the fang.
Stolen from me ages ago.
436
00:23:51,828 --> 00:23:55,513
Someone building a memorabilia
collection to attract tourists.
437
00:23:55,513 --> 00:23:58,348
Now give me that phone
or I will crash your bones.
438
00:24:06,353 --> 00:24:07,653
It's at the keep in Kisiljevo.
Let's go.
439
00:24:07,736 --> 00:24:09,478
No, no, no, no.
We can't go in there.
440
00:24:09,478 --> 00:24:11,420
- Drive as we talk. Let's go.
- You don't understand.
441
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,455
That's where the vampire
hunters are holed up.
442
00:24:15,604 --> 00:24:17,064
Hey! Hey!
443
00:24:17,767 --> 00:24:19,791
This is broken!
444
00:24:19,874 --> 00:24:23,791
- I will end you now!
- Just drive!
445
00:24:28,584 --> 00:24:31,938
And now you can see
different tools people use
446
00:24:32,022 --> 00:24:35,346
to try to kill the
vampire of Kisiljevo.
447
00:24:35,346 --> 00:24:36,806
Ooh, spooky.
448
00:24:37,797 --> 00:24:42,382
Hey, um, I heard there
were vampire teeth here.
449
00:24:42,465 --> 00:24:44,259
Real ones.
450
00:24:45,130 --> 00:24:49,090
Well, not anymore.
451
00:24:49,535 --> 00:24:52,659
So if you follow me
into the next chamber,
452
00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:57,923
you'll discover that we never called
an exterminator for our bat problem.
453
00:24:58,006 --> 00:25:00,048
"F. Carsen, F. Carsen."
454
00:25:00,131 --> 00:25:02,384
Flynn Carsen! The Librarian.
455
00:25:03,332 --> 00:25:05,434
The tooth is in the Library.
456
00:25:09,294 --> 00:25:11,378
Ivan is getting anxious.
457
00:25:11,461 --> 00:25:14,542
How long do women
take in the bathroom?
458
00:25:17,228 --> 00:25:19,588
You can fill me in later
on what happened to you
459
00:25:19,671 --> 00:25:21,473
and why you're wearing a cloak.
460
00:25:21,473 --> 00:25:23,315
Right now, we need to save Vikram.
461
00:25:23,315 --> 00:25:25,657
- Wait, Vik's here?
- Yeah.
462
00:25:25,678 --> 00:25:27,140
And for some reason,
the vampire hunters
463
00:25:27,140 --> 00:25:31,018
have a hunch he's from a different
century, and therefore undead.
464
00:25:31,101 --> 00:25:34,263
- Let's move.
- I'm sorry. I can't help you.
465
00:25:34,348 --> 00:25:35,690
What are you talking about?
466
00:25:35,690 --> 00:25:37,512
I need to do something,
and you're not gonna like it,
467
00:25:37,512 --> 00:25:40,263
but if I don't,
I could hurt you.
468
00:25:41,233 --> 00:25:45,652
Connor, why are you so afraid?
469
00:25:46,022 --> 00:25:48,856
Hey, guys! She's right here!
470
00:25:48,939 --> 00:25:50,398
I'm sorry.
471
00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:11,061
The magic door!
472
00:26:31,828 --> 00:26:35,830
I haven't seen spiders
like that outside of the zoo!
473
00:26:35,914 --> 00:26:39,478
- Yeah, the attic is--
- Infested? Don't worry.
474
00:26:39,558 --> 00:26:44,144
- We'll use the word "rustic".
- But the rest of the place?
475
00:26:44,164 --> 00:26:46,386
Oh, it's a fixer, for sure.
476
00:26:46,386 --> 00:26:48,986
But it's-- it's more than that.
477
00:26:49,070 --> 00:26:56,372
Sure, it's old and drafty
and rustic, but it's also home.
478
00:26:56,455 --> 00:27:00,080
- Home?
- Homey. Home-like.
479
00:27:00,163 --> 00:27:03,905
You know, the place where
you feel the most yourself.
480
00:27:03,988 --> 00:27:05,469
And everyone else feels the same,
481
00:27:05,469 --> 00:27:08,050
and you're just--
you're all in it together.
482
00:27:08,133 --> 00:27:11,385
But I thought you
were the sole owner.
483
00:27:11,718 --> 00:27:13,477
I am. I--
484
00:27:13,561 --> 00:27:17,522
But it's like
when you're in a band.
485
00:27:20,770 --> 00:27:22,672
Ah, 36007-R, section V.
486
00:27:22,755 --> 00:27:27,221
See, the buyer I had in mind wouldn't
want to deal with multiple owners.
487
00:27:27,221 --> 00:27:29,597
- You already have a buyer?
- A former client asked me
488
00:27:29,665 --> 00:27:32,790
to keep an eye out
to add to his portfolio.
489
00:27:32,790 --> 00:27:36,060
But I would hurry,
because he's looking at--
490
00:27:36,143 --> 00:27:38,465
Is that a wine cellar?
491
00:27:38,549 --> 00:27:42,511
- Wine cellars are very popular.
- No. No, no.
492
00:27:42,811 --> 00:27:46,134
You don't want to go in there.
No, it is covered in mold.
493
00:27:46,217 --> 00:27:48,696
36007.
- Uh...
494
00:27:48,780 --> 00:27:50,622
Third door on the right.
495
00:27:50,705 --> 00:27:53,850
It stinks.
Like, uh, bad cheese.
496
00:27:53,850 --> 00:27:55,670
Come on.
497
00:27:56,942 --> 00:27:58,402
Ugh.
498
00:27:59,938 --> 00:28:01,773
It seems you don't like garlic.
499
00:28:01,857 --> 00:28:04,442
Not when you keep shoving
entire bulbs in my mouth.
500
00:28:04,525 --> 00:28:05,922
Am I a Sunday roast?
501
00:28:05,922 --> 00:28:07,845
You're not helping
your case, vampire.
502
00:28:07,885 --> 00:28:09,604
Why is there a case at all?
503
00:28:09,604 --> 00:28:12,398
If it was up to me,
504
00:28:12,482 --> 00:28:13,924
I would do away
with you right now.
505
00:28:13,953 --> 00:28:18,217
But my fellow hunters don't
have my natural-born instincts.
506
00:28:18,217 --> 00:28:22,428
Hmph.
You are as maddeningly obtuse as you are imposingly large.
507
00:28:22,429 --> 00:28:23,888
Hmm?
508
00:28:26,869 --> 00:28:31,750
Ah! Natural-born
instincts, you say? How's that?
509
00:28:32,117 --> 00:28:35,118
My family has hunted
vampires for centuries,
510
00:28:35,201 --> 00:28:39,288
and now it is my turn
to take up the mantle.
511
00:28:40,345 --> 00:28:43,525
Living up to family expectations
can be a lot of pressure.
512
00:28:43,608 --> 00:28:48,656
The name Van Helsing carries a lot
of weight, but nothing I cannot handle.
513
00:28:48,739 --> 00:28:53,166
And you and your familiar
are not going to stop me--
514
00:28:53,166 --> 00:28:56,088
But we can stop you finishing that sentence.
You took your time.
515
00:28:56,171 --> 00:28:58,174
Nice girls chat in the
ladies retirement room?
516
00:28:58,194 --> 00:29:00,618
I ran into Connor.
Something's wrong.
517
00:29:00,618 --> 00:29:04,079
He went through the magic
door and closed it behind him.
518
00:29:10,294 --> 00:29:12,128
You eat the garlic.
519
00:29:14,138 --> 00:29:16,060
How do we escape if
Connor locked the door?
520
00:29:16,143 --> 00:29:18,291
I have a car.
521
00:29:18,374 --> 00:29:20,334
What? No, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
I'm not one of those guys.
522
00:29:20,376 --> 00:29:25,862
I'm Petar.
I'm a friend of Connor's.
Heard you mention him.
523
00:29:25,862 --> 00:29:28,640
- Are you Charlie?
- Yeah.
524
00:29:28,723 --> 00:29:30,704
No, weirdly, I believe
him because of the cape.
525
00:29:30,787 --> 00:29:32,649
I helped him get to the
castle, but I got worried
526
00:29:32,649 --> 00:29:34,483
something happened to
him once he didn't come out.
527
00:29:34,511 --> 00:29:37,375
- Do you know where he is?
- He's, um-- he's not here.
528
00:29:37,458 --> 00:29:40,858
You mentioned something about a vehicle.
529
00:29:40,858 --> 00:29:44,068
Yes, uh, it's, um, this way.
530
00:29:44,342 --> 00:29:45,802
Okay.
531
00:29:46,402 --> 00:29:51,538
Oh, wait, no. This way.
It's this way.
532
00:30:14,897 --> 00:30:16,357
Oh, uh...
533
00:30:22,571 --> 00:30:25,324
Oh, uh, hi.
534
00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:26,867
Excalibur? Seriously?
535
00:30:29,208 --> 00:30:32,400
Okay, uh, we'll revisit this.
536
00:30:32,483 --> 00:30:35,395
Do you know where I can
find row 36007-R, section V?
537
00:30:35,477 --> 00:30:36,937
Thanks.
538
00:30:43,732 --> 00:30:48,016
- I think you should consider that job from Lysa.
- Why?
539
00:30:48,099 --> 00:30:51,682
You asked me if I knew anything
about the future, and I do.
540
00:30:51,682 --> 00:30:56,024
I don't think the Library will have a use for you.
Neither will I.
541
00:30:56,107 --> 00:30:57,568
Um, I hate to interrupt,
542
00:30:57,568 --> 00:31:00,204
but I think we're
back where we began.
543
00:31:00,391 --> 00:31:03,084
Well, these medieval
castles are always circuitous.
544
00:31:03,167 --> 00:31:06,401
I remember in Blarney,
in Ireland, and I...
545
00:31:06,484 --> 00:31:10,989
- ...will save the rest of that story for later.
- It is time to end this.
546
00:31:36,203 --> 00:31:37,663
Halt, thief.
547
00:31:37,914 --> 00:31:40,336
Security really
would have my head.
548
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,804
lest your head make my axe a meal.
549
00:31:46,887 --> 00:31:50,097
That's quite a rhyme,
but I'm not a thief.
550
00:31:50,172 --> 00:31:51,172
I work for the Library.
551
00:31:51,172 --> 00:31:53,053
Answer me these riddles three
552
00:31:53,136 --> 00:31:54,999
to prove you are no enemy.
553
00:31:54,999 --> 00:31:56,301
Okay, I can do riddles.
554
00:31:56,301 --> 00:31:59,603
What building do you enter
blind but come out seeing?
555
00:31:59,686 --> 00:32:02,203
Ooh, uh, a school.
556
00:32:02,286 --> 00:32:04,350
You got to dig deeper than
ancient Sumerian to stump me.
557
00:32:04,433 --> 00:32:08,271
What fruit is of
greatest use in history?
558
00:32:08,354 --> 00:32:10,750
Well, the apple is
the fruit of knowledge,
559
00:32:10,834 --> 00:32:12,696
but is that history or religion?
560
00:32:12,779 --> 00:32:16,058
If we're talking history,
then what dates do we include?
561
00:32:16,142 --> 00:32:17,142
Dates.
562
00:32:17,225 --> 00:32:19,059
The date is a fruit with
greatest use in history.
563
00:32:19,107 --> 00:32:21,450
I am on a roll. Hit me!
Number three, baby, come on.
564
00:32:21,450 --> 00:32:25,052
What is the chemical
equation for photosynthesis?
565
00:32:25,135 --> 00:32:27,306
What? That's not a riddle.
566
00:32:27,389 --> 00:32:28,849
Uh, photosynthesis.
567
00:32:29,580 --> 00:32:34,663
Uh, that's carbon
dioxide, water, and, um...
568
00:32:34,746 --> 00:32:38,310
- Something happens?
- Photosynthesis.
569
00:32:39,362 --> 00:32:41,144
Uh, 6H2O plus 6CO2
570
00:32:41,224 --> 00:32:46,604
converted via light
energy to C6H12O6 plus 6O2.
571
00:32:50,613 --> 00:32:52,014
- What?
- I saw you head to the main Library,
572
00:32:52,097 --> 00:32:54,276
and I thought something was
up, so I ditched the broker.
573
00:32:54,359 --> 00:32:56,256
Uh, what's going on?
574
00:32:56,339 --> 00:32:59,322
Oh, uh, just keep a distance.
575
00:32:59,405 --> 00:33:00,687
- Why, are you contagious?
- No, no, no,
576
00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:03,487
but I'll be better when I
get this where it needs to be.
577
00:33:03,570 --> 00:33:05,512
Okay, and what is this?
578
00:33:05,512 --> 00:33:07,879
Can you just trust me
when I say it's important?
579
00:33:07,962 --> 00:33:09,324
Yeah, I mean, of
course I trust you.
580
00:33:09,324 --> 00:33:12,210
Why else would
I want to hire you?
581
00:33:12,210 --> 00:33:13,891
I thought that
was just for Charlie.
582
00:33:13,974 --> 00:33:16,692
No. No, I don't want
to break up the band.
583
00:33:16,776 --> 00:33:19,682
Speaking of, where
is everyone else?
584
00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:24,853
Oh, yeah, um, they're likely about
to be murdered by vampire hunters.
585
00:33:25,677 --> 00:33:27,137
What?
586
00:33:38,630 --> 00:33:40,089
- That way.
- Follow me outside
587
00:33:40,172 --> 00:33:42,757
for an unscheduled
vampire beheading ceremony
588
00:33:42,758 --> 00:33:44,717
that nobody at the
office told me about,
589
00:33:44,718 --> 00:33:46,261
but I'm sure it's completely safe.
590
00:33:46,262 --> 00:33:47,597
Uh, Connor?
591
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,430
I think we might
actually want to go that way.
592
00:33:49,431 --> 00:33:50,891
Outside?
593
00:33:52,322 --> 00:33:55,225
Yeah, what-- what is it?
What's wrong?
594
00:33:55,308 --> 00:33:58,352
Never mind. Let's go.
595
00:34:01,395 --> 00:34:04,318
We have rooted out
the festering evil
596
00:34:04,318 --> 00:34:07,973
that has haunted this
town and his familiars.
597
00:34:08,056 --> 00:34:10,217
- Familiars?
- [Charlie] Talking about us.
598
00:34:10,300 --> 00:34:12,142
Long story, but the good news
599
00:34:12,142 --> 00:34:15,783
is these stocks are old and rusty.
600
00:34:15,866 --> 00:34:19,870
Okay, what now? Connor?
601
00:34:20,408 --> 00:34:21,989
Uh, yeah, you go distract him.
602
00:34:22,073 --> 00:34:25,154
- I'm gonna go around.
- Okay.
603
00:34:29,658 --> 00:34:33,543
I am not a vampire.
I am literally in the sun.
604
00:34:33,626 --> 00:34:36,092
Uh, yeah.
He is literally in the sun.
605
00:34:36,112 --> 00:34:37,573
That's a bit of an anachronism.
606
00:34:37,573 --> 00:34:41,093
We've been over this.
Daywalking vampires.
607
00:34:41,176 --> 00:34:43,329
- Like "Blade."
- Or "Twilight."
608
00:34:43,339 --> 00:34:44,844
Or "The Vampire Diaries."
609
00:34:44,928 --> 00:34:49,931
Yeah, but light
energy converts matter,
610
00:34:49,945 --> 00:34:51,181
like photosynthesis.
611
00:34:51,264 --> 00:34:53,866
And therefore vampires
would be affected.
612
00:34:53,949 --> 00:34:57,773
- What are you talking about?
- Well, light energy passes
613
00:34:57,773 --> 00:35:01,216
through the epidermis to
nerve endings with no effect.
614
00:35:01,216 --> 00:35:05,261
- So, Vikram can't be a vampire.
- Oh.
615
00:35:06,790 --> 00:35:09,957
How did you know his name?
616
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:13,500
Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
617
00:35:13,583 --> 00:35:15,209
I can explain.
618
00:35:17,748 --> 00:35:19,850
- Don't touch her.
- Oh, thank God.
619
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:31,683
I got your tooth.
I need you to bite me.
620
00:35:31,767 --> 00:35:33,046
Connor, look.
621
00:35:33,129 --> 00:35:38,762
No more enthralling, foul demon.
622
00:35:38,844 --> 00:35:40,305
No. No.
623
00:35:45,354 --> 00:35:46,395
Oh, no.
624
00:35:46,478 --> 00:35:48,354
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no! No!
625
00:35:48,355 --> 00:35:50,688
No, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
626
00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:53,942
Not the sun. Not the sun.
Not the sun! Not the sun!
627
00:35:53,943 --> 00:35:56,487
Oh, no! Not-- not the sun.
628
00:35:56,488 --> 00:35:57,948
Wait, what?
629
00:36:00,283 --> 00:36:01,867
Wait, why am I not
burning up in the sun?
630
00:36:01,868 --> 00:36:03,489
Because you're not a vampire.
631
00:36:03,489 --> 00:36:05,948
Were you under the
impression that you were?
632
00:36:06,031 --> 00:36:07,031
- Yes.
- Hmm.
633
00:36:07,114 --> 00:36:10,940
Petar told me that...
634
00:36:21,425 --> 00:36:24,511
I can't believe it worked.
635
00:36:34,386 --> 00:36:37,722
Thank you, you foolish
wannabe Librarian.
636
00:36:37,723 --> 00:36:38,922
I'm finally back to my true self,
637
00:36:38,924 --> 00:36:43,087
and just in time for night.
638
00:36:47,696 --> 00:36:50,839
I'm so hungry.
639
00:36:51,219 --> 00:36:54,884
Do you know how long it's
been since I had a proper meal?
640
00:36:54,968 --> 00:36:57,091
When I overheard you
talk about the Library,
641
00:36:57,091 --> 00:36:59,735
I just couldn't believe my luck.
642
00:37:02,558 --> 00:37:05,502
Hunters, it is our moment.
643
00:37:05,585 --> 00:37:07,045
- Charge!
- You.
644
00:37:12,445 --> 00:37:15,989
Van Helsing, my Astolat. Hmm?
645
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,600
I think we should get
everyone out of here, don't you?
646
00:37:22,683 --> 00:37:24,420
This is all my fault.
647
00:37:24,503 --> 00:37:27,608
Lysa, you get them inside.
Put them in the dungeon as a fail-safe.
648
00:37:27,690 --> 00:37:30,610
- Okay.
- Charlie, do you think you can get that axe?
649
00:37:30,611 --> 00:37:33,680
- Yeah.
- Good. Connor and I will--
650
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,140
Where's Connor?
651
00:37:35,263 --> 00:37:37,363
Hey! Hey, Petar!
652
00:37:37,485 --> 00:37:40,968
You want blood, right?
Take mine.
653
00:37:41,051 --> 00:37:44,471
Make me a vampire, like you said.
654
00:37:53,288 --> 00:37:56,750
You spent all day worrying,
afraid of turning. Why now?
655
00:37:56,834 --> 00:37:59,578
First of all, no one told me about
the flying thing, which is awesome.
656
00:37:59,578 --> 00:38:03,805
But I want what you
have, endless future.
657
00:38:03,805 --> 00:38:08,373
Oh, Connor, you'll make a
better meal than a roommate.
658
00:38:08,373 --> 00:38:11,578
- There has to be a way to stop him.
- It's too late.
659
00:38:11,578 --> 00:38:14,202
After you,
I'll eat your friends.
660
00:38:14,222 --> 00:38:16,626
Fitting that my first meal
would be from the Library,
661
00:38:16,626 --> 00:38:21,437
which kept my tooth
from me for so very long.
662
00:38:26,628 --> 00:38:29,380
- What is this?
- It's a fail-safe.
663
00:38:29,463 --> 00:38:32,849
Of course.
The Library places fail-safes on all their artifacts
664
00:38:32,858 --> 00:38:34,197
so they can't get
out and hurt anyone.
665
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,585
Medusa's head in a
bag, that kind of thing.
666
00:38:37,585 --> 00:38:41,710
What better way to booby trap a tooth
than to place a capsule of cyanide in it?
667
00:38:41,793 --> 00:38:43,636
Or in
his case, holy water.
668
00:38:43,636 --> 00:38:45,355
Or garlic oil.
669
00:38:45,439 --> 00:38:49,401
Or a photovoltaic
cell storing solar energy.
670
00:38:50,268 --> 00:38:54,534
Whatever it is, Petar,
your future ends here.
671
00:39:09,602 --> 00:39:12,729
And this shall go
back home to the Library.
672
00:39:15,408 --> 00:39:17,551
Great show. Great show.
Has it ended?
673
00:39:17,634 --> 00:39:19,536
Because the snow
cones will sell out.
674
00:39:19,536 --> 00:39:22,279
My group, follow me.
675
00:39:22,958 --> 00:39:25,060
You're lucky this isn't that deep.
676
00:39:25,143 --> 00:39:27,588
Petar could have bit anyone and
the fail-safe would have activated.
677
00:39:27,588 --> 00:39:29,110
You offered yourself up.
678
00:39:29,130 --> 00:39:30,852
I wasn't sure it was gonna work.
679
00:39:30,852 --> 00:39:33,353
- Better to test it on myself.
- You need more gauze,
680
00:39:33,436 --> 00:39:35,719
and slightly fewer
near-death experiences.
681
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:40,055
Yeah, it's just
not the right time.
682
00:39:40,138 --> 00:39:42,597
Yeah. Okay, thanks.
683
00:39:42,754 --> 00:39:44,714
Right, well, that was the broker.
684
00:39:44,797 --> 00:39:47,239
I'm postponing selling the castle.
685
00:39:47,460 --> 00:39:49,582
What about your IPO?
686
00:39:49,665 --> 00:39:54,486
I realized that although, yes, this
is my castle, it's also our castle.
687
00:39:54,569 --> 00:39:57,013
And the decision to sell
should be made together.
688
00:39:57,096 --> 00:39:59,760
But I thought the
future waits for no man.
689
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,906
- What, you want to join an IPO now?
- Eh.
690
00:40:03,243 --> 00:40:05,806
I spent the whole day
worrying about my future.
691
00:40:05,890 --> 00:40:08,554
Now I'm just happy to have one.
692
00:40:08,554 --> 00:40:10,506
The Library's all
I ever really wanted.
693
00:40:10,506 --> 00:40:13,463
Gonna make the most of it
with however long we have left.
694
00:40:13,464 --> 00:40:15,405
I think that's a great idea.
695
00:40:15,406 --> 00:40:18,248
Right. Petar's tooth is
back in its rightful place.
696
00:40:18,248 --> 00:40:21,933
And Mrs. A would like to take a break
from cataloguing to visit a local winery,
697
00:40:21,933 --> 00:40:25,075
so what shall we do
with our newfound freedom?
698
00:40:25,158 --> 00:40:28,038
- We can get some training in.
- Do we have to?
699
00:40:28,121 --> 00:40:30,944
I'm your Guardian, and I
intend to be for a long time,
700
00:40:30,944 --> 00:40:33,587
and you nearly being
beheaded reflects badly on me.
701
00:40:33,587 --> 00:40:35,689
And what about working for Lysa?
702
00:40:38,110 --> 00:40:40,143
You know, you lied to me before.
703
00:40:40,226 --> 00:40:43,728
You said you didn't care if Lysa
sold the castle or if I took the job,
704
00:40:43,730 --> 00:40:48,067
but you're just trying to
make it easier for us to go.
705
00:40:49,553 --> 00:40:52,216
- You don't get off that easy.
- I don't?
706
00:40:52,299 --> 00:40:53,924
You're stuck with me.
707
00:41:00,128 --> 00:41:02,989
Charlie,
I have to say something.
708
00:41:03,531 --> 00:41:04,991
I'm going...
709
00:41:05,974 --> 00:41:10,076
to go... hungry.
710
00:41:10,159 --> 00:41:14,265
Does anyone want that
Italian delicacy, pizza?
711
00:41:14,348 --> 00:41:17,248
- Mushrooms? Pepperoni?
- Ah, no thanks.
712
00:41:17,332 --> 00:41:20,397
When Petar returned to dust and
you returned the tooth to the Library,
713
00:41:20,397 --> 00:41:22,380
we hit up the
rest of Vampire Fest.
714
00:41:22,380 --> 00:41:24,643
Yeah, those bloody snow
cones are actually pretty good.
715
00:41:24,643 --> 00:41:28,526
Was there before or after you
buried the ashes on consecrated ground?
716
00:41:28,609 --> 00:41:33,322
- Aah! What?
- Were we supposed to do that?
717
00:41:34,512 --> 00:41:38,347
- How did you not know to do that?
- Injured.
718
00:41:38,349 --> 00:41:39,891
Not in your arm.
57179
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