Original subtitles

- Welcome! - Welcome!

I know the bus ride's worn you out but...

customs called and you must go back

to the airport to fill out more papers!

Oh no! What's all this?

Don't worry! I'm joking!

Some joke!

Welcome to Galaswinda!

I'm Marcus, the village chief.

Ghyslaine's given you the best huts

and the staff's waiting for you

with your bags that arrived by truck.

Breakfast is served as of 7 a.m.

See you tomorrow! Goodnight!

- It's raining! - Not in Paris!

It's just a sprinkle!

It is raining.

Lights!

It's only the fuses!

That wasn't in the brochure.

Can you shine the light here.

Anyone seen my bag?

Get off my foot!

There.

Sure that's yours?

I'm no luggage thief!

Don't forget my bag!

A frog's paradise!

That's mine!

Take your suitcase.

Come on, please!

This way!

This way. Please.

People whose hut is named after seafood, like Oyster,

Clam and so on... Follow me!

It's in the bag! No problems!

I'm in Mussels!

I twisted my ankle!

I'll take Sole, Dab, Sea- Perch...

Bass and Black Pollack!

All the "fruit" huts go with Ghyslaine!

This way for the fruit!

It's that way.

Wait! My bag fell open!

Sure it's yours?

Go to hell!

Where's "Perch"?

That's "Peach"!

On the other side of the village!

Occupied!

Someone's in my hut!

That's the john!

Where's "Peach"?

"Peach"! On the other side!

They said it was over here!

They just said it was here!

Quiet, Palefaces! I'm tryin' to sleep!

Shut up, Hog- Fish!

Keep cool! It's a vacation!

Go to hell, ya Belgian!

Get under cover.

You have a lost- luggage hut?

The "Pack- Rat" Hut is closed now!

But I've no pyjamas!

Eat hearty!

You OK?

Yeah... I was "up" all night!

Who with?

No idea! A gal who got in last night. I couldn't recognize her.

We banged in the bus during the breakdown

Watch out.

- Maybe it's her! I think it is! - Look at her!

Or that one!

There!

Hi, Popeye!

Hello.

She's recognized you!

You OK, guys?

In shape?

In what shape?

He's awesome!

So good!

Ya saw his sketch yesterday? A real pro!

Go to Reception!

Hi.

Join us here at Galaswinda!

Where sun and girls pour in the windah!

Be you short or tall!

Grab a banana, one and all!

Every night we'll have a ball!

I'm Jérôme!

I brought the sun!

He brought us the sun!

Darla dirladada

I'm a doctor but on vacation!

So please stay healthy!

Come and see us in Galaswinda

There are sunshine and girls

Jean- Claude Dusse. I can't find my bag.

Leaving already?

No, I can't find my hut.

I've lost my wife!

I've lost my bag!

I had to spend the night with this nice lady in the john.

And I can be nice any night!

Of course.

We'll take care of things!

- And you? - I'm fine!

I'm Gigi!

I am Gigi. Pleased to meet you.

I am Bernard.

I got a bagful of sunshine!

If you relied on me, the weather would be lousy.

She said she got a bagful of sunshine.

So if you relied on me, the weather would be lousy.

As I've lost my bag!

Very funny!

Attention, please.

A picture of the new arrivals! Come with me!

You.

You. You too.

Squeeze in! I can only get half of you!

The beard!

A bit to the right!

Stand closer together.

Sit down!

Get closer together!

My bag!

That is mine.

Watch out

Let's do it.

Come here, I can't see you.

Great.

Closer together! Don't move!

One, two, three.

Lucky I am in swim trunks.

Well done.

Shame!

Shame somebody moved!

To apologize, fruit cocktails

for all on the beach!

What a start!

The staff's a barrel of laughs!

Come on.

Where were you?

I couldn't find our hut.

I had to spend the night with a nice lady in the john.

I bet you cheated on me!

Bring your glasses over.

Bring your glasses over.

Have a drink.

It's great here!

To think yesterday I was in Paris!

Here.

I got a funny one for you.

- Yes? - You know Edith?

The fat girl in computers?

Not fat! Just plump.

Her husband had a breakdown.

He went away to rest, so she was alone.

I asked her out.

Wasn't she a bore?

No, I got her to relax.

It's great here!

Now it gets funny. The second time I took her to dinner,

I was dead tired so I said to her,

"Sorry, Edith, but I have to get to bed."

Know what she said?

"Bernard, I hate sleeping alone!"

Crazy, huh?

I thought it was cool. She stayed at home for a week, chill.

Oh really.

But it's over now. No strings!

A swim?

I've no suit!

I think what happened in Paris made me feel

closer to you

Me too, in a way.

Glad you understand!

But you don't understand.

The same thing happened to me here.

Funny, huh?

You mean, you had... a thing too?

Yeah.

Is he staff or member? Do I know him?

Both. There were three of them. The third one runs the handicraft class.

Handicrafts?

Do they make nice stuff?

Yeah, Miguel gave me a lovely wicker ashtray.

Fine! Useful too!

I better get busy! I'm two behind!

What about our hut?

What?

Is it out of bounds or...

can we use it... with a friend?

I don't understand.

Yes, you do!

I don't have a schedule!

A swim will do you good!

I'm too tired after...

my lousy night with that dumb broad in the john!

See you at lunch?

I don't have a schedule!

I don't know where and who I'll be with for lunch!

Shit, my shoes.

Anyone here?

Are you in this hut?

Yeah! Hi!

You can help me clean. The place was a mess!

I thought I was alone.

I used all the space.

I put your things over there.

Thanks.

I am not used to it. It's my first time

at the club. And you?

I'm a devoted member.

The crowd seems real nice.

I fear that hut villages attract a lower- class clientele.

I prefer bungalows but...

I reserved too late this year.

Quite a shower we had!

At a bungalow village, that wouldn't happen!

Oh, my.

So many cosmetics!

Do you work in a store?

I have a salon.

- I'm an esthetician! - Really?

In Paris?

No! Paris is impossible! Like a factory!

He was fantastic! We had the wildest Mondays for two years!

His salon was closed on Mondays.

He worked in a hair salon!

How funny! I also close on Mondays.

I used to close on Tuesdays. But it makes weekends harder.

What are your names?

His wife found out about our affair from the shampooer.

She tried to electrocute him with a dryer!

Oh, my!

On a different note, I had the tax men in my salon for three days!

What are your names?

I was so down I almost didn't come here!

He was real sweet and he said...

To protect our love, we must separate!

He did well!

I am Jean- Claude.

You'll forget him here!

See him?

Like that dark one?

Oh, no!

I like 'em five years older...

very distinguished... like Paul Newman...

especially with a high forehead!

Look, honey!

I may sound old- fashioned but...

Despite my active track record.

I like 'em tall, muscle- bound and...

blond with a crew- cut!

You mean Nazis!

It would kill those bitches to answer me!

You got a problem back there?

Is the bathrobe coming apart?

It's boiling! I'm going for a swim.

What a kook!

Disgraceful!

Annoyin' the girls?

Stop! I can't touch bottom!

Look! They stole his trunks!

Boursault passes to Bobo!

Pass the ball.

They're awful!

Hey, girls.

May I, dear ladies?

I can wait! The water's fine!

Give it back! It's not funny!

Come get it!

You are mean!

Have you seen that?

You'll catch a cold!

There we go.

Are you taking some off?

You'd laugh at anything!

Keep your skis parallel!

It's a powerful boat. Don't worry!

Put on the safety vest.

Watch the rope!

Gently!

Take the rope.

Take the rope.

Hold onto the bar! I told you I couldn't!

For my photo album!

Thanks.

The Chink gal...

is she with anyone?

Me.

And her curly- haired friend?

- She's mine too! - Really?

I'll go after the nurse!

She's mine!

Sorry, man. My mistake.

Listen, man...

You got 500 members to choose from.

- So leave the staff alone! - OK.

How many gals per guy?

Depends on the guy!

Sure!

Good evening! Eat hearty!

Tonight's our Galaswinda Super Show

followed by our "contact" dance!

And now some cheers! Fill up your glasses!

Come on, everyone.

Repeat after me loud and clear!

- Contact! - Contact!

- Motor! - Motor!

- And... - And...

- Cheers! - Cheers!

Now let's hit the waves with

our waterski team led by Jacques!

Our water- nymph Ann Marie!

William!

And Rudi from Austria!

Sports and games are planned by our great, grand...

glorious... Popeye!

Known to the girls as The Flab Fighter!

So let's hear it!

So let's hear it!

Now here's your favorite M.C... Bobo!

Thank you.

Before we go into our crazy- sign song,

I want to introduce our star...

direct from the clubs of Paris!

We're lucky to have with us

our pal André Boursault!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

I hope nobody's forgotten the signs.

We'll make sure by choosing a volunteer!

You with the moustache!

I can't!

You can!

Let's give him a round of applause!

What's your name?

- Jean- Claude Dusse. - Sorry?

Jean- Claude Dusse, do you know the signs?

I just arrived!

Never mind. Do you know 'em?

Never mind! Let's show him!

Music!

Join us here at Galaswinda!

Where sun and girls pour in the windah!

Be you short or tall!

Grab a banana, one and all!

Every night we'll have a ball!

Aga- douba is our call!

Aga- douba is our call!

Join us here at Galaswinda!

Where sun and girls pour in the windah!

Be you short or tall!

Grab a banana, one and all!

Every night we'll have a ball!

Aga- douba is our call!

Aga- douba is our call!

- How much? - I got it! What do I owe you?

- Both? - Yes, both.

One green and two whites.

My necklace has been stolen!

It's my treat.

I'll have fun anyway!

Bernard is to push the object

with his banana and Christiane is to put her pen

into the bottle!

Come on!

Christiane has won!

Let's give her a big round of applause!

Congrats, Bernard as well.

- Go on, Boursault. - Thank you, Bobo.

I have a delicate job to do.

I'm here to help you discover... your vacation lover!

How do you like 'em?

Short? Tall?

Or like me?

- Fairly tall. - Fairly tall, okay.

Hair?

Blond.

So I'm out of the running at once! Beep beep!

Eyes?

- Blue? - Yes.

- Both of them? - Yes.

So we need a tall, blond guy with two blue eyes.

Bobo, have you found one?

- I think I got one. - No.

Leave me alone!

His wife must be here tonight.

Goodnight, sir!

Bobo, have you found us our rare bird?

Here he is!

OK, I'll sacrifice myself!

He's almost blond... almost tall.

His eyes are almost blue!

Lucky Christiane!

Your name?

Jérôme? Jérôme, Christiane. Christiane, Jérôme.

Oh yes!

They're off to a pretty good start!

A kiss! A kiss!

Yes, Jérôme!

On the mouth! On the mouth!

A round of applause for them.

Now our new vacation couple...

Jérôme and Christiane will open the ball!

Music!

Go on, Christiane. Go on, Jérôme.

Fantastic! They're made for each other!

It's funny, I feel like I've met you before.

Maybe at the club in Corfu or Chamonix.

No, it's my first time at the club.

Some say I look like Fernandel.

- Like to dance? - Yes.

Can I ask one of your friends to dance?

That'd suit me fine! Anna!

No.

You... dance... Jérôme.

How's the club barber?

- I don't know - No, he'll cost you a fortune!

Go to the town barber and say I sent you.

- You wanna dance? - No, we're talking.

Have I seen you on TV?

No, but I may do a sketch in September.

As I know the girl who does the stamp collecting show.

She is a friend of my grandma's!

I'm going to bed.

You'll regret it!

If I stay, I'd say yes to you...

and I'd be a "fallen woman"!

- Maybe you're right. - Yes.

- Care to dance with me? - I'm going to bed.

- Care to dance with me? - What?

- Do you want to dance with me? - No, thanks.

Sorry.

What a nerve!

You're hot.

- Care to dance? - Yes.

- Cigarette? - Yes, please?

Pictures of ex- girlfriends!

Nothing important! No strings!

I'm going to bed.

Good night. We're going to bed.

Good night. We're going to screw 'em!

Boursault's really a scream!

Yeah, he's great.

He's offered for me to do a sketch with him.

- Do you know the "Cork- Oak"? - No.

It's near the subway terminal.

That's convenient!

- Can I put my head on your lap? - Of course.

Don't mess up my bangs!

Pelletier!

George Pelletier from the insurance company!

You were in Claims!

You worked there?

I replaced Mrs. Butz when she got sick. Funny, huh?

Yeah!

You had a moustache but you had all your teeth.

This one's blacked out!

George Pelletier here at the club!

Listen, Gigi.

The insurance job...

the suit and the tie are all in the past.

All that is forgotten.

Let's keep this just between us, huh?

OK. Come!

Shall we go to your hut?

We got plenty of time!

See the stars?

The Big Dipper!

The big one?

Right over the hotdog hut!

When I arrived, it was there.

Now it's over there.

When we leave, it'll be over there!

That's something I learned here at the club.

So we got plenty of time!

What are you thinking?

It's damp. My ass is wet!

Shall we go, Bobo?

Yep.

Wait! I'm coming!

This is Radio Galaswinda!

This is Radio Galaswinda!

It's a lovely day! The water temperature is 18 degrees.

If you go swimming, be sure to wear a muffler!

We expect some snow later!

Eight- six.

- Move it! - Please!

Ready?

To go to bed!

I got it!

He's had it!

Eight- seven.

Get off my back!

- Move! - I did!

You got in my way!

Swimming contest this afternoon! Sign up now!

Swimming in the pool

Hi.

- OK, Pelletier? - Yes.

Wanna sign up for the swimming race?

- Not me! I swim like an iron! - Oh yeah?

I can, but only with the side- stroke.

See you soon.

So you swim it like Hollywood?

Get some sun. I'll be back in a while.

- Hello. - Hello.

What's wrong?

What time is it?

11:00. You slept here?

Not in your hut?

My roommate snores.

After two hours, I moved out here.

The bugs ate me all night!

They're harmless here.

The mosquitoes chewed up my arms...

and a lizard got in my sleeping bag!

I'll soon need the Red Cross!

Don't get excited!

I'm not. But I hate the sun!

I prefer wet weather like Normandy!

You can't stay in there! Go swimming! You have turned blue.

- Blue? - Yes! Get in the water!

Get set.

Ready.

Popeye!

Let me dive in! I'm a doctor!

He is in the water.

Grab him by the hair!

That's it.

Slowly.

Are you OK?

Shouldn't we take him to First Aid?

No, we'll put him in bed, he'll spit out water and will be fine.

What a schmuck!

A pain in the ass!

Spit it out.

No!

Don't go! Don't leave me!

Calm down!

I heard they can now revive

a drowned man 24h later if the water was freezing?

- No. - No?

Not 24h.

Two or three hours at the most!

It sets off a simple process

that blocks the lungs.

It is known as the diver's reflex,

quite common to sea mammals!

Each time I swim, it irritates

the back of my throat.

It must be the salt water.

Save my seat. I'll get some peaches.

Each time I shift into second gear,

my pinions crack. Is that bad?

Come to the clinic for an X- ray!

My husband's pure Peugeot!

- You drive? - No, I can't shift on hills.

It's our drowned diver!

- May I sit here? - Of course, it's free.

You scared us!

That's better!

- It sure was stimulating! - Yes.

This time, it's gonna work.

He's a beginner!

Almost!

Again tomorrow!

That's a great haircut.

Right?

Amazing!

Hot, huh?

Too short?

It's well shaped! Sort of Turkish!

Good work!

Sure he knows what he's doing?

To the tips of his fingers!

I'm in no hurry.

When you're first, he's fresher!

He did me yesterday. Go on!

- Come on. - Is he a chicken?

Go easy! I'm sore from skiing.

He already did that!

Yeah, the back!

Take it easy!

Thanks, you guys!

It feels great.

He's pullin' my hairs!

No!

Thanks!

It's cold!

It's hot!

He's crazy!

No, I just came from the barber!

Don't soap my eyes!

What's he doing to me?

That is what I feared!

Fun, huh?

Had enough of those people!

- Wait. Let's do a photo with the kids. - OK.

Christiane, can you take it?

I won't be in it!

I'll take one of you on your own afterwards.

- Come. - Get the kids in line.

Stand next to me!

Get closer! Smile!

It's set. Just press the green button.

Alright.

Ready, Bernard.

Stop!

Christiane, what did you do?

I did exactly what you told me!

- Poor Christiane! - You ruined a whole reel!

You are so dumb! It's not hard to press a button!

Does this suit me?

Not at all!

- No? - It's hard for blonds to dress.

Got one with long sleeves?

You'd smother to death!

I have to cover up. I burn very badly.

Use sunblock!

I'm allergic to sunblock.

Want to try my "Total Filter"?

How much is the mask? The statue?

$60.

- How much? - $60.

I like it. I want it.

I'll bargain him down!

How much?

$60.

It's hardly worth $30!

$60.

- $40. - $60.

- $50. - $60.

$55.

$60.

Oh, pay the schmuck his $60!

Thanks! You're really good!

Look!

I went crazy! Like it?

It's really nice!

Totally you!

I'm wild about it!

What's that?

Sunblock.

Try shoe polish! Your hide's like leather!

Are you nuts?

It's like they have never seen a girl before.

They groped her bottom!

Disgusting!

Nice, huh?

Not bad!

- Hello. - Hello.

How much are these?

20 cents? That's robbery!

He must earn enough to live for a year! I'll have the red ones.

They sure are red!

No bargain?

Not for peppers!

- Thanks. - Thanks.

- Watch out, they're very hot! - Yes.

I know. A bit hot... but wonderful!

I could eat tons of them. Want one?

They don't agree with me.

It's an aphrodisiac!

Where's your wife?

What you said the other night. I'm willing now.

To do what?

We talked about it but I said no.

I've thought it over.

If you want, we can sleep together.

Well, now it's too late.

Oh, really?

Maybe that's good.

That's good!

Yeah... maybe.

Well, Miguelito?

Do you want some Martini?

I want to know what you think.

Careful!

What's the date?

The 17th.

Dammit!

I forgot about... doing the inventory tonight.

Inventory?

I have to check the equipment.

I have to count the balls, flippers...

masks and all that.

Can't it wait?

During the day, the stuff's in use.

Listen! Go to your hut and...

if I finish early, I'll meet you.

Alright.

- What hut? - Banana.

"Banana?"... OK! Bye.

Come, honey, I'm free now!

Shit!

You look green! Maybe your peppers were rotten.

I'm gurgling!

I know of a painkiller made of soya

sold in Japan and the US but it won't get

to France for another ten years due to a monopoly.

Watch out.

He's gonna hump your wife!

I'm going to first aid. I got the trots!

Happy?

I didn't think I'd have you.

- Oh yeah? - I'm always so busy.

Need help?

No, I always buy 'em too tight and it's hell...

to get 'em off!

I'll tell you something nice.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

I've humped over 80 broads this season.

I'm sure...

you're gonna be among the Top Ten or Top Fifteen.

I'm really glad to hear that.

You're very neat.

Yeah, that is why I'm always impeccable.

When I first saw you,

I felt you should be in the movies.

Strong stuff... like Macist or Hercules

Yep.

Not all of 'em are good!

Some make me laugh.

I have seen bad ones.

Anyway, I got no strength in my arms

I couldn't even lift you.

Look at the miserable Macist!

- Macist! - Popeye!

You're so funny!

People think you're solid as steel

but actually you're really fragile.

You mean my foot?

You're fragile mentally.

You're so sensitive, I bet...

girls get the better of you easily.

Broads? Yeah.

The only one who did was my wife. I respect her.

She's no ordinary broad who...

jumps in the sack with just anyone!

Right.

You should change your underpants!

Are you mad, they are fresh.

I mean the style... It's not you!

What's inside is still me!

Your husband doesn't care?

If you practice 30 minutes for three months, you'll play like him.

It's showy, but very simple.

It's just arpeggios

and basic harmonies.

Major chords and dominant 7ths!

- Really? - Really.

It's nice all the same!

Not too satisfying for a true musician!

You been playing for a long time?

Four years with Miss Plunkett!

Now I play harmonica. It's easier when you travel a lot.

Know "Michael, Row the Boat Ashore"?

You OK?

You don't look it!

You look sad.

I'm worn out... from the excursion.

Want a shishkebab?

No, I just had a beer.

I would rather not mix things.

I feel like a walk.

I'll go with you.

I'll go to bed.

The towel's out!

So?

It's our code.

Popeye's there with a girl.

You've been there three nights in a row!

- Want the hut right away? - Yes.

Did you get lucky?

Yeah.

Who is it?

Christiane.

Lucky you!

Climbin' that bean- pole oughta be fun!

What?

Nothing! Just talk!

Come in! We'll keep warm together!

- Are you serious? - Well... yeah!

Wait... I'll ask.

Popeye's there with a girlfriend but...

if we want to go in, they don't mind.

What, and an orgy as well?

Oh no, that is awful!

Let's go to my hut, Gigi's never there.

It's miles away.

Come on, Bobo!

The foursome wasn't my idea! It's awful!

A twosome's bad enough!

Friendship between a man and a woman is so wonderful!

It's the best!

Like... I've walked you home.

But that doesn't mean anything will happen!

We're...

pals.

And your wife?

We're a modern couple!

At least... she is.

If I stop for a drink with a pal, I needn't call her.

Is Christiane due in?

She wanders around all night

but never makes out.

Poor kid!

I came in for a... chat, but if...

you want to sleep, go ahead!

That's alright!

It's so rare to be able to have a talk...

pal- to- pal!

It's great to undress in a room with a guy...

with no misunderstanding!

And how!

I don't see why people can't understand that.

Not so loud!

I'll put the beds together.

We won't have to shout.

I'm pooped!

I could sleep next to you... with no misunderstanding!

You know, Bernard.

When I was little...

at camp we had to keep quiet at night.

So we'd tell stories under the sheets!

And giggle! It was fantastic!

Fantastic!

But, Bernard! We're... just pals!

But this is only sex!

- Gigi? - Don't come in!

Who are you with?

She is with a friend!

She is with a friend.

Where shall we go? To the beach?

It's too far! I'm worn out!

See ya tomorrow?

Right. Bye.

Don't be mad at me!

- Scrabble? - Glad to!

Where's Bernard? I can't find him.

I can't see him any more!

Why? Was he mean to you?

No, but even though you're a modern couple, I felt...

embarrassed about you.

- Did he tell you about it? - No.

We don't discuss all we do!

It would take forever!

Oh, I goofed!

Don't worry!

- It was only sex! - That's reassuring!

The night you flirted with Popeye...

Bernard was feeling down.

I sat on his lap. Suddenly, I felt his passion rising.

He was embarrassed, so...

I said he could come to my hut.

- I'll take these three. How much? - 60 cents.

We talked a great deal.

I'm good at helping guys let themselves go.

I'm sure!

Nathalie.

- Are you mad at me? - Not at all!

Do you have stamps?

I'm used to it. He already had a fling with a dumbo in Paris.

Thanks.

Pretty cards, eh?

How annoying!

He plays like a clod! No finesse!

It's boring with a bad player!

Or an expert!

True.

- Do you allow me? - Quickly.

One moment.

The sun's warped the table!

But it's OK with me!

Yes, quickly.

- Well done. - Indeed. Nice shot.

Pure luck! But a nice shot!

What is the score?

- Eight- twenty. - For who?

In my favor!

Well, you'll...

never make 21!

21!

The ball, please.

- Sorry. - Yeah.

What a sneaky wop!

I didn't trust him.

Coming?

Where are you, Nathalie?

- I'm caught! - Take my hand!

How much further, sahib?

We're almost there.

It's a beach worth the walk!

I'm dead tired.

Pain always precedes pleasure!

If I was a kid, I'd make a hut here!

This is it.

There!

I could spend hours here and not say a word.

Just meditate!

There's nothing to be said, huh?

I'm speechless!

Azure! Our steeds leapt forward!

I awoke, dreaming of Anibe in her bower...

warty and low!

Poetry!

Do you always recite it bare- assed?

It helps! Come on in!

It's great!

Come in!

How long have you and Bernard been married?

Five years.

Funny you should ask... Interested?

Yes and no.

You're an amazing couple.

- Oh yeah? - Yes.

You each do as you please.

Your husband sleeps around.

You sleep with Popeye. No problem!

- Yeah, no problem. - Come on! The water's fine!

That hurt!

Obviously! This is a garbage dump! I bet there are rats.

Of course there are no rats!

- Schmuck! - Schmuck?

Are you crazy or what?

The water's marvelous!

Wait! Something bit me!

Let's go!

- Put the skis on him! - And the cap!

Let's go!

Into the water.

Get in.

Hold him by the shoulders.

Full speed, huh?

So.

Galaswinda is happy to offer a bottle of champagne...

to Big Lenny...

who after 14 tries finally got up on his skis...

Thanks to his teacher Ann Marie!

- And now... - I busted my ass for that champagne!

Champagne for everyone!

Obviously, Bernard.

If you use rocks, you'll never skip one!

Leave me alone!

I am sorry.

Did you hurt yourself, Bernie?

Did you get dirty?

What the hell...?

I hit a guy!

Get back!

Say "truck"!

- Why? - Say "truck"!

- OK... Truck! - Beep- beep!

No!

OK... Say "shoe."

"Shoe!"

What the...?

That'll cost you!

No! Not my bag!

Bernie, stop!

Stop it!

We're absolutely wild!

Yeah, but it's great!

Bernard, I'm afraid!

Don't be!

Got a cigarette?

Do you have a cigarette?

Can I sit down?

Am I in the way?

No.

I don't usually butt in but...

I had to talk to someone!

We were all alone...!

Yes, that's why.

Got a light?

I'm not a tobacco shop!

I got home and...

found my wife in bed with Repairs!

With what?

The repairman who...

lives here alone all year doing repairs.

We thought he was a faggot!

But he's not!

I'll smash him wide open!

Go easy! You're not the only one!

You're used to it.

If you please!

The way you're built, I don't see how you...

I manage!

I'm the opposite.

Since I'm never home...

My wife must have got bored or something.

I understand her.

But she hurt me!

And I was looking forward...

to a night at home!

- Too bad! - Shut up!

Besides, it makes me clench my teeth...

and I got cavities! It hurts like hell!

I may look solid as steel but...

inside I'm really fragile.

Your wife told me that!

Never mind!

I don't need your comments.

I'm in the way, eh?

I'm boring you.

Another cigarette?

I really need one.

What a crazy night!

I was all set to drown myself but...

some asshole hit me on the forehead with a rock!

It's too much.

Hey.

My cigarettes!

I'll leave you one!

So long!

He's too much!

He's very touching.

At first he seems dumb but then you realize...

He's a schmuck!

He's so defenceless that I feel like...

protecting him, don't you?

I feel like protecting the other guys!

He's a freak! He ought to be in a circus!

You're mean!

He sleeps around but...

he doesn't want his wife to do the same!

It's his natural instinct.

He's like a child. Isn't it deeply moving?

Yes, it is.

- Let's just think about us! - Yes.

Kiss me!

Thingy!

- What's your name? - Christiane.

Can you come here a sec?

- Wait for me? - Yes.

I'll see you tomorrow, OK?

So long!

Thanks!

No schedule!

Be careful! I don't take the pill.

I bet you think I'm an easy lay.

Bastard!

Bastard!

All alone? Where's your wife?

I've no idea!

I feel better. I'm getting used to the sun and all.

I ate with the Germans. They're real nice!

I had fun even though I don't speak German.

We sang some war songs... in four- part harmonies!

One of the gals winked at me!

I think I got an opening there.

Thinking of my wife?

Why? Is she thinking of me?

I goofed!

Got a cigarette?

I'll keep the pack. I'll need it.

Would there be a possibility with your wife?

I'm going to bed.

Forward.

Backward.

Calm down!

Today we'll try a circular kick, the Mawashigeri.

It's called a circular kick...

because the kick is circular.

Jean- Claude... stand opposite me

Go easy on my floating ribs!

Just him and me!

Jean- Claude's on the defensive.

Although Mawashigeri is a circular kick,

it's not a stiff- legged kick.

That would have no force.

Like that.

Nothing! See?

Mawashigeri is a much stronger kick.

Don't bow when I pick up a cigarette!

It's in three movements.

First, bend the knee.

Second, aim it at your adversary as you pivot.

Third, kick the foot to smash

your opponent's head.

Right there.

I strained something!

It's my groin!

Jean- Claude, take over!

Be careful!

The first exercise is to keep you from having your face kicked in.

It's called blocking

Christiane, will you help me?

My back's a bit stiff.

Come on, Gigi!

She'll come at me...

with an attack of her choice, unknown to me

I'm to block it with the right block. Right?

Alright.

When you're ready.

Annoying, huh?

But I attacked!

Come at me!

A virile, open attack! I'll block it.

Let it build and come out of you!

From faraway Japan!

- Ready? - I got no cod- piece on!

Ya can't say that in a competition!

I don't wanna compete!

Things can happen faster than you think!

Look at me! In less than two years!

Ready?

You're not? Then don't force it!

- Attack! - No, shit!

No attacking from behind!

- I will rip your chest out! - Jean- Claude, stop it!

I'll take away your diploma!

Lovely! Lovely!

Use black to give it depth!

Dig, boy, dig!

That's a nice yellow!

Remember that light shades...

give relief to the curves.

See how it winks!

Too soft!

Lost the key?

Yes. But no.

Dirty old man!

Note how the female body...

can become...

a field of investigation for pictorial art!

Dirty! Nothing!

Do you make wicker ashtrays?

No. Why?

My wife said a guy here makes lovely ones.

I love wicker.

If you hear of that guy, let me know, eh?

Yes.

Lots of poetry!

I think that guy wanted me for a orgy!

- Really? - I'm sure!

No slugging with the paddles!

No hanging on to the other boats!

Ready!

On your mark!

Go!

Go, Gigi!

Go on, push!

Change direction!

Oh, look!

Push!

You nelly queen!

We're winning!

We're in a big one! It's unfair!

Row! We're ahead!

Shit!

Help!

We're coming!

Row! I'm tired.

Help!

This thing's heavy!

Watch out for alligators!

What a schmuck!

I can't, I'm not a man!

Christiane's not a man!

No, it's true!

For the winners!

Contact!

Motor!

And... cheers!

You made it!

Yeah, but it took a lot of rowing!

Here's André!

You got an original way of rowing!

Me too!

The sea's dangerous!

When sailing you can hit 20- foot waves!

If you're sick, tough!

Gigi's an expert.

You went the wrong way!

He never rowed in his life, so we lost!

These canoes are made to carry six tons of pineapple.

To row it, it has to settle!

I don't know if it's the sea air or what...

but tonight I'm gonna sleep like a log!

Anyway, we won!

The first day I saw you was when

you put Jean- Claude's trunks on your head.

I died laughing!

Well, lots of girls don't have a sense of humor!

Kiss me.

Do you love me?

I adore you, Gigi!

I took their orders! one French fry, two fried eggs...

The bill for table 4, one sauerkraut, one beef- stew...

two coffees, one munster and one camembert.

I ask for one fry, two sunnysides, the axe on four...

one kraut, one liquid hash, two black javas...

and two cheeses: a fritz and a frog.

Super!

Boursault! Boursault!

Go back on!

- Go, go. - No, always leave 'em lovin' ya!

I'll do "The Suitcase"!

More! More!

Christophe!

You were great, honey!

It was all for you.

Really? I'm so glad!

Mike!

I had a cramp.

Poor guy!

Music! Let's go!

The axe on four, one kraut...

One liquid hash! Here's to you!

Do you know that one, dear mom...

Water please?

How was the show?

Really great!

Boursault kills me!

Yeah, he's funny.

And my suitcase routine?

Fine... Fine!

I couldn't see if you meant to be vulgar...

It's on a higher level!

So... that was it!

A drink, Bobo?

- A scotch. - A scotch on my bill...

Bobo, forget the suitcase bit, OK?

Yeah, but I...

Have a drink, Bobo!

Champagne for me!

- Champagne? Whisky? - Yes.

A double scotch for Bobo!

You got a nerve!

You were a scream! I died laughin' backstage!

Was that suitcase routine aimed at me?

I get all the bags I want.

- I don't get it! - I do!

- OK! - Not OK at all!

Hi, Paulo! Any comté cheese left?

- Richemont? - Richemont is fine.

Bread too, please!

There is always bread.

I'll take the tray

You take the bread

Bye, Paulo!

Look, take the tray and wait outside

I want to talk to Paulo a second.

How much?

Guess!

- 92, 95 pounds. - 98.

What is the total?

8,432 pounds. Not bad!

Goddam!

I've humped 8,432 pounds of broads!

I'm disgusting! How much have you had?

275 pounds!

So get busy!

But I had that all in one go!

Alright!

How was that girl last night?

I don't know how old she is, but she sure loves cock.

Pardon me!

There she is!

- Hi, Popeye! - Hello.

Hi, Mom!

Hi, Dad!

- Come here! - Want to swim?

Pineapple juice?

Go on!

Stop messing about!

I got a gefilte fish!

One gefilte, one mussel and two sunnysides!

My turn now!

Watch out!

Boursault's gonna dive in!

Go on!

Go on!

Er, Gigi?

- Yeah? - Come here.

I have to talk to you.

It's about Boursault.

Look, Bobo...

We had some fun. I like you but...

it's over between us now.

Boursault and I have something extraordinary!

- So- - - Listen, Gigi.

Bobo, we can be pals but let's forget the rest of it.

OK, but that's not about that.

I don't know how to say it.

I don't want to hurt you.

Boursault's dead. Stung by a ray.

It is awful. We were on the boat. André jumped in.

The ray stung him.

He sank like a rock.

It's awful.

I thought you'd like to have his flippers.

Gigi, come eat!

It's yummy, it's skate!

What's wrong?

Gigi!

She'll do anything to get attention!

- I wasn't mean to her! - No.

I think it's something with Bobo, Bernie and Nathalie.

I noticed Bernard and Nathalie aren't getting along.

But Nathalie's getting plenty!

The whole camp's had her!

Haven't you?

- Oh no, I haven't. - Surprising.

Why not?

I've had a tough time love- wise this year.

And I had tax men!

I broke up with...

a woman I'd been living with...

for 48 hours.

I tried to commit suicide.

How?

I've no imagination. I put on...

Albinoni's Adagio, took 30 laxatives and...

lost 34 Ibs. and a rug.

- Damn! - I'm not really over it yet.

My bowels are still in a mess.

You think I got an opening with Nathalie?

You and Nathalie?

It's obvious she's wanted you from the start!

But her husband!

It doesn't bother him. Go on!

I've been here a week...

and haven't... done a thing!

I almost did. And when I think of what we pay here!

Suddenly I got one opening after another!

Can I squeeze in?

Sorry!

I made you a Preciosa sundae.

But it needs a cherry.

And the banana needs to be peeled.

Really?

Want to go sailing with me?

I need a nap.

She'll be with me.

Ol' MacDonald's taking care of me!

I'm serious!

I'll ask Bernard. It'll give him a laugh.

- No! - I'm sure it will!

Know what he said?

This will kill you!

Know what he wants?

He wants me to sleep with him.

We were kidding! I got out of hand!

It needs a cherry!

Bernard, calm down!

But the whole resort has had her!

Leaving Sunday?

A week's too short!

Bernard, wait for me!

Let's stop all this crap!

Tired?

Yes, I'm tired.

Me too.

Those three guys I told you about... it's not true!

Bitch!

Beat me to the raft and I'll have a baby!

You're pregnant!

Is Gigi better?

Much better!

She's coming to me for a check- up...

and maybe some... psychotherapy!

It's over my head!

- It's over my head! - Don't worry!

It's over my head!

Calm down!

Jean- Claude, come on!

I'm staying! I got an opening!

Lots of schmucks this week, huh?

Well, I met a nice Swiss psychoanalyst!

So, what have you decided?

I'm leaving on the bus in two hours.

So you're leaving?

Where to?

I don't know but I've had it here.

I expected to do as I pleased but...

if I try a new routine, they refuse it.

I'm going to Paris.

Maybe "The Suitcase" will work better there

People are more relaxed after work and all that.

I hope Boursault's pals will help me.

You ought to quit and do something else.

You know me...!

If I wanted...

I could have a hair- oil job but...

I'd have to leave now

I've seen you at work here.

You like it. Maybe it's your bag.

You mean the women?

You make out for a week if you got a tan.

But I've never...

really had a broad interested in me. I don't know why.

Stop! I'm gonna cry!

It's true.

With my wife, it's been hell being here.

- Anyway. - It'll work out.

You won't stay one more week?

You might score with a new girl.

So long!

Bobo, what's your real name?

Georges.

So long, Bobo!

So long, Popeye!

Leavin' me alone?

I'll finish the season.

I'm at Arrivals.

And here they come now!

There's some real beauties!

Bobo, look!

They're gorgeous!

Damn! Look at the one in blue!

And her girlfriend! What a pair!

She's for you!

Here we are!