Original subtitles

Doc George (V.O.): Hey, hey! You're listening to Doc George

on WAGG The WAG! (Upbeat Drumming Music Plays)

♪Ya♪

(Upbeat Drumming Music Continues)

♪ When the moon is shining bright ♪

♪ Light up the darkness of the night ♪

♪ Then the wolf is on the prowl ♪

♪ To find a girl to make him howl ♪

♪ You look so ♪

Doc George (V.O.): I know it's only Thursday,

but my phone's ringing off the hook about a full moon party

tonight out at the old cotton gin. That means there's going to

be juvenile delinquents all over town, trying to get us to buy

them liquor. So remember if one approaches you,

don't be a complete douche! Buy it

for them. It's tough enough being a teenager without having

to go to lame parties with no freaking booze!

♪ A tisket, a tasket ♪

♪ lets have a look in the basket ♪

♪ Because the big bad wolf is having you for dinner tonight ♪

♪ That's right! ♪

(Upbeat Drumming Music Continues)

Doc George (V.O.): Speaking of getting arrested...

Marion High is sending some

students to our historical jail house, where they'll stay

overnight while people post bail money for their release.

So... so basically our public school system

is forcing students to spend the night in a formally

condemned murder scene... out in the middle of nowhere...

because apparently, the public school

system wasn't already dangerous enough?

♪ Oh ya ♪

♪ Now the moon is shining bright ♪

♪ I see you tremble in its light ♪

♪ Should ya run or should ya stay? ♪

♪ And let the big wolf have his way ♪

♪ You look so precious and sweet ♪

♪ Like the most delectable treat ♪

♪ I'm the boy mama warned you about ♪

♪ Can't deny it cause the moon is out ♪

Doc George (V.O.): What's up?

You're on the air with Doc George.

Caller (V.O.): Ya, Doc, so my buddy got dumped

by this cheerleader... but he can't let it go.

Doc George (V.O.): Hm... Is the trampy Cheerleader

seeing someone new?

Caller (V.O.): Uh, ya only, like, our star jock...

Doc George (V.O.): Haha. This jock have a nice car?

Caller (V.O.): Oh ya...

Doc George (V.O.): Okay, here's what I got to say about this...

Caller (V.O.): Ok-

Doc George (V.O.): Stop calling into the (BLEEP) station.

I'm not a real doctor, pinheads!

(Howling)

(Upbeat Drumming Music Continues)

♪ The big bad wolf! ♪

(People Chattering)

♪ The big bad wolf! ♪

♪ The big bad wolf! ♪

(Upbeat Drumming Music Ends)

(Rock Music Plays on Radio)

(People Chattering)

So what exactly did she say?

(Sighs)

The worst three words in the English language, Cliff.

"I'm pregnant?"

That's two words.

"I -am-pregnant." It just sounds really formal

like that, you know?

"Like a brother."

Oh, man.

She said I couldn't be in a relationship

with her because I'm "like a brother" to her.

That sucks man, I'm sorry.

It's worse than the friend zone.

It's pretty much the same thing, right?

No! No, it's not! Because best friends will make

stupid mistakes and get drunk and make out.

But "like a brother?"

You don't make out with your brother, man.

CLIFF You really, really shouldn't.

(Rock Music Continues on Radio)

(Sighs)

Oh, man I really liked her.

Hey. There's plenty of fish in the sea, bro.

Don't call me bro.

Oh I'm sorry, is it too soon?

(Scoffs) Cliff-

No, just listen. I'm gonna piss...

Then we're gonna find some girls. Kapeesh?

(Sighs)

Kyle?

What?

Take me to pound town. (Giggling)

Take me to pound town, Kyle! (Sighs)

Woo-Wooo! (Laughing)

Be right back...

(Rock Music Continues on Radio)

(Sighs)

(Grunts)

(Giggling) Hey.

(Rock Music Transitions to Calming Guitar Music)

(Animals Chirping)

(Guitar Music Continues)

Aw, c'mon.

C'mon, you've got to pump harder than that.

I know..."That's what she said." But it's true. Here.

(Guitar Music Continues)

Sorry, I've never actually

operated one of these before.

Well, you never forget your first time.

(Together) That's what she said.

(Laughing) Nice...

So you've done this before, obviously.

Ya, well, sneaking around and drinking beer

is pretty much the only thing to do in Greenwood.

That's a drive. Do you have friends here?

Uh, no, but Rusty does.

I just came along for the ride.

Rusty, so. He's, like... your boyfriend?

No! He's, like, my brother.

(Chuckling)

And what is so funny?

Those are the three best words

in the English language.

Well, technically, four?

Never mind. (Chuckling)

C'mon.

You don't want any beer?

Oh. I brought my own. You finish that foamy piss-beer

and I'll get you some of the good stuff.

(Scoffs)

You brought your own beer? What'd you come to the keg for?

Huh. Why did I come to the keg?

(Guitar Music Continues)

Here ya go. You're not going to need this where we're going.

Rusty. Clark.

Rusty.

(Guitar Music Continues)

(Grunts and Sighs)

Here.

(Chuckling) Ok.

So where'd you get beer?

Eh, Rusty's looked 21 since he was, like, 12. So...

That's... convenient. (Laughing)

Kyle! Dude! We're playing truth or dare! You in?

(Scoffs)

No, man. I'm-I’m good.

Awesome. I dare you to kiss that chick.

(Guitar Music Ends)

(Awkward Laughing) Um...

Come on! Just do it! (Scoffs)

(Crowd Agreeing)

Don't you want to?

(Crowd Cheering)

(Crowd Oooing)

Yea! That's what I'm talking about. Alright.

Now you, girl. What's your name?

Kyle: Hey, ya, what-Dare.

(Oooing) Brave! Ok, Brave Girl..

I dare you to go

into the woods and see if you can spot the Jail Ghost.

The what ghost?

(Spooky Music Plays)

The Marion County Jail ghost. It's an old wives' tale.

Cliff: What, the old Jail Ghost?

No, it's real. And, technically,

it's an urban legend not a wive's tale.

It's the same thing.

It's not. And it's real.

(Crowd Muttering)

(Spooky Music Continues)

Girl shouldn't go out into the woods alone.

Not without a... protection.

(Whispering) What are you doing?

Marie: Alright, let's go.

Kyle: What?

- Go for it. - What-(Struggling)

Kyle! Go for it, buddy.

Be a hero. Go!

Oh, ok.

Marie: Come on.

(Spooky Music Continues)

(Whispering) He's going to pound-town.

(Spooky Music Continues)

(Kyle Struggling)

Wow. You fall a lot.

(Sighs) It's been, like, two miles.

It's barely been a mile. (Scoffs)

I knew that. I was just testing you.

Marie: So, a "jail" ghost, huh? Scary.

Kyle: (Scoffs) There's no Jail Ghost.

It's just some bullshit story

about a family who got murdered by some crazy guy.

Marie: Have you ever even been there?

No. It's condemned or being rebuilt. The school's hosting a

lock-in to get some kids to stay there overnight, though.

Agh! I love that kind of creepy stuff, don't you?

(Chuckling) No.

So... Can we go see the jail?

(Sighs) See, that's the thing. It's really not that close.

And... I think we're headed towards the lake.

Oh. Lake, huh? Well, I guess we'll

just have to settle for a swim, then.

What? Are you crazy? It's like 10 degrees out...

Swimming it is then.

Wow.

(Struggling)

(Panting)

C'mon, Kyle!

(Sighs)

(Out of Breath) So this... is pound town.

Marie: C'mon, Kyle!

(Twig Snaps)

Did you hear that?

(Spooky Music Ends)

Marie: Kyle, girls don't get any more naked than this.

Kyle: Right!

Okay. Lake.

Smoking hot chick. This happens, right?

Hey you haven't even told me your name yet...

Rust: It's "Marie."

(Tense Music Plays)

Kyle: Rusty... right?

Look, I wasn't going to try anything. She-She just made

me follow her out here, and she's really insistent.

(Coughs)

(Grunting)

Rusty!? Were you following me?

(Grunting) Dude! What's your problem, man?

You didn't even know her name?

What kind of a desperate sleaze are you?

God, Rusty, leave him alone.

Get out of the water and get your clothes on. Now!

You always do this! You ruin every party we ever go to.

Party's over anyway. Everyone's leaving. C'mon!

Look, Rusty. She told me that you weren't her boyfriend.

I know it sucks that you couldn't seal the deal,

but that's not my fault.

(Sighs) Here we go...

What did you say?

(Yelps)

(Wincing) No, What I meant was-

That's my baby sister!

Why didn't you tell me that?

I did! I said "He's, like, my brother!"

I thought you meant he was "like" your brother.

What?

What?

(Awkward Laughing)

(Tense Music Continues)

Rusty, stop!

(Grunting)

Stop hitting him and give me my shirt, you asshole!

Alright, you know what, fine. I'll get it myself.

(Grunting)

(Tense Music Continues)

(Grunting)

(Tense Music Transitions Eerie)

(Deep Growling)

The hell was that?

(Panting)

(Grunting)

(Wincing)

Marie? (Grunting) Damnit.

Marie Come on. We're getting the hell outta-

Marie? Marie!

(Growling)

(Growling, then a Scream)

(Panting) Hey! Hey! HEY!

Aw, no, no, God, no, why, come on!

Just-Why would you...? Damn it!

(Tense Music Ends)

(Phone Beeping)

(Panting)

(Sniffling)

"Party's moving to Katie's. Can you get a ride

back with that chick and her brother?"

(Sighs) Was I the only person who didn't know that

douche was her brother?

(Phone Dialing)

Cliffs Voicemail: Hey, this is Cliff. Remember,

my mom checks my messages.

If you've have something bad to say, say it in code.

Kyle: Look, get your ass back here

right now and pick me up!

That-That chick's brother is a total sociopath...

Look I'm wet I'm cold, I lost my frickin shirt,

and I smell like wet dog.

Please. Cliff. (Sighs) Look...

I just... I want to get the hell out of here.

This night took the biggest turn for the worst, and

I just I can't deal with it, ok.

I really need you to come pick me up.

(Somber Piano Music Plays)

I'm scared and I'm stranded out here. Please.

Just. Call me back.

(Phone Beeping)

(Growling)

Rusty, I swear to god, I didn't touch her.

(Growling, and a Scream)

(Growling and Screaming Continues)

(Somber Piano Music Transitions to Suspense)

(Suspenseful Music Continues)

(Suspenseful Music Continues)

(Suspenseful Music Continues)

(Suspenseful Music Continues)

(Suspenseful Music Continues)

(Suspenseful Music Continues)

(Suspenseful Music Continues)

(Suspenseful Music Continues)

(Suspenseful Music Ends) (Bell Ringing)

(People Chattering)

(Zipping Backpack)

Hey, Crystal.

Oh. Hey. Hi. Donny. Uh, what's up?

So, I hear you're off to the jail tonight, huh?

Ya. Ya, hard time for hard cash.

Beats a candy sale, I guess, right?

Oh, right ya. Listen, I hear Chase is in?

Oh. Chase.

Ya, she's going, right? I mean, you know,

to represent the cheerleaders?

Well, you know the bail money goes

to the whole school, overall.

So she she's not so much representing the "cheerleaders"

as she is raising money for the entire school.

Awesome, Awesome, Awesome. Talk to you later!

Right. Okay. You're welcome.

And... thanks for totally validating my angsty teenaged

bitterness toward jocks and cheerleaders.

(Knocking) Mr. Howell?

(Curious Music Plays)

Donny: Mr. Howell?

Well, hello.

Uh... I'm Donny. I play for the basketball team.

Our basketball team. Here at school.

I'm aware of the team. I've just never seen you play.

Well, ya, I'm not first string, but I play in scrimmages-

Sorry, I mean I never go to games. I find sports very dull.

But fostering a competitive spirit, now that's exciting.

Competition, rivalry. Keys to evolution and survival.

Donny: Right.

Mr. Howell: Every living creature participates

in some form of sport,

whether it's to pass along their genetic code,

claim the best territory or find their next meal...

Donny: Uh-

(Curious Music Ends) You coming?

Donny: Uh... ya, ya. (Curious Music Replays)

So I actually wanted to talk to you about

your fundraiser. The jail thing?

Ah! Bail Out Our School!

Right, ya.

- Made the flyer myself. - Did you? Wow.

- Photoshop. - Huh?

Beats a candy sale, huh?

That's what people are saying.

Really, people are saying that?

Uh, listen, Marty Marshall said he was going to

represent the athletics department.

Ah, Marty Marshall. Basketball team. First-string.

Uh... I thought you didn't-

I read the student paper. Very thorough reporting.

Apparently He's quite the athlete.

Right, anyway. Marty said something came up, or something,

Really? Well that's disappointing. Really won't

draw the same kind of attention-

Well, I asked him if I could take his place,

and I wanted to make sure, that was okay with you, y'know

if that was... that's cool.

Oh! Oh, yes, Donny. That would be very cool.

Of course you can participate.

Meet us at the gin at 6 p.m., bring an overnight bag,

and a sense of adventure! - Thank you!

Okay, great. Should be fun! Marty's gonna

regret giving up his spot!

(Curious Music Ends)

Chase: You gave up your spot?!

Marty: Huh, ya. I never wanted to do

that stupid lock-in crap in the first place.

Chase: Well, of course you didn't WANT to do

the stupid lock-in crap!

Want has nothing to do with it, Marty. We are role models. We

have a responsibility. Plus you promised you'd do it, too.

Marty: Babe, I didn't. I didn't promise I'd do it, ok,

I "said" I'd do it. There's a big difference.

Chase: How is there a difference?

Marty: When you promise you'll do something, you actually want

to do it. And when you say you'll do something, you're

just being nice.

Chase: Who's taking your place?

- Donny. - Donny?

- Ya. - Donny Harlan?

Marty: Uh, ya. Donny.

Chase: You know, most guys

who found out their girlfriend was going

to an overnight with her ex- boyfriend wouldn't be so...

nonchalant.

Marty: Babe, I don't even know what that means.

Okay? And it's not like you and Donny still have a

thing, So it's cool, right?

I guess so...

And besides, it's not even like a date.

I mean, that Crystal chick is going too.

So she can be like uh... what do you call it?

A chaperone?

Not a chaperone, more like like a wingman, except a girl.

A wingman is someone who-never mind.

Look, just call me when you get bailed out, and I can probably

come pick you up, alright, we'll hit the gin.

Damn it. Fine.

I'm still mad at you, though. I swear you've managed to leave me

stranded in the middle of nowhere,

with two rejects and a weirdo teacher.

-I swear, I think I'd rather be- -Dead?

What? Uh, no, morbid much? I was going to say grounded.

Oh.

(Curious Piano Music Plays)

Mortimer: ...something bad is coming.

Something very bad, I'm afraid.

Uh huh.

Arielle: Right, Mortimer.

Like the time you thought the government

hid cameras on your farm to

learn your secret organic growing techniques.

No. This is not like that.

More like the time you thought genetically-enhanced Emus were

breeding unchecked in the hollow outside your property?

Yes! Thank you, Sheriff. This is much more along

that kinda line, Right, Duncan?

Uh huh.

These two, do not need your encouragement.

(Door Hinges Screeching)

Oh. Well... Good morning, everyone.

Evans: Morning.

Could you deal with those old fools, please, Deputy Marcus.

Happy to. Could you old fools give me

just one moment?

Certainly.

By all means, Deputy.

Uh huh. (Clears Throat)

Sheriff fanning the flames again?

Of course...

Well, you know how he loves a good campfire story.

So... Mortimer, Duncan... Evans

Evans: Deputy, this is a legitimate concern.

Mortimer: There's something going on in those woods.

- Uh huh. - Has been for years.

Evans: Decades!

Decades and years!

- Exactly! - Uh huh!

Sorry... what exactly is the point, here?

Do you know what tonight is, Deputy?

The night before I get to sleep in.

Tonight is the anniversary of the the Jail House Massacre.

Uh huh.

Real quick... do we feel that "massacre"

is a bit strong of a strong word?

It was just that one small family.

Arielle: The youngest boy did survive...

See. Three deaths. I mean, I don't know the textbook minimum

for a massacre, but it's got to be closer to... seven?

They did once hang people in those cells, deputy.

Uh, they hung one person Mortimer. So... "people"...

eh, little bit of an exaggeration.

"Person." More accurate.

Don't go throwing facts around, deputy...

we're talking folklore here.

That's right. Ain't that right Duncan?

Uh huh. It was a night...

just like tonight.

There was a moon.

No! (Sighs)

No, no. I am NOT listening to this again.

(Giggling)

Go on...

The sheriff and deputy Marcus will be sure to prevent

any further massacres. In fact,

we'll make that official sheriff-policy each and

every full moon. Will that satisfy you, gentleman?

I just want to make sure that he understands

how serious the situation is...

(Curious Piano Ends)

You're a deplorable man, Sheriff.

Oh, come on, Arielle. That's the charm of sheriffing.

Townsfolk with their crazy stories that we

can't to take seriously.

Was it just me, or did they seem particularly spirited today?

Villagers are restless with rumors, Deputy.

What's this?

Missing person reports. A brother and sister

out of Greenwood, and a local boy.

Really? Huh. I mean... that's terrible, I hope they're ok.

How do we know they didn't just go back to Greenwood together.

Brother's truck was left at the gin. They may have left with

other kids, but so far family hasn't heard from them...

So... we have to investigate?

Well before you get too worked up. Remember, a missing person

isn't a missing person till they've been gone 48 hours.

That's actually not true.

- 24? - Nope, just a movie myth.

Is it?

Yes, sheriff.

That's a good myth. We should make that a real rule.

Sir, these are kids...

No, they're teenagers. Who are likely somewhere hung over,

or high, or on their way back from New Orleans

with a bad tattoo.

Well just to be proactive, maybe we should go out and do some of

that sheriff stuff. Just to shake things up a bit.

Alright Ellen, you are right. And if I was a prudent

and efficient sheriff, when might I do all this?

You'll have it done by the time you get back from wherever it is

you're going right now. Which, you hope, is to take a shower.

Spent the night working on the cabin. Almost got her done.

Ha!

What? I'm serious... This time. She's going to be great.

Oh, the tall-tales get more and more outlandish every moment.

Laugh it up. We'll see who has the laughing last when I'm

living off the proverbial grid and you two are living on...

the grid. Proverbially.

Be sure to do whatever it is I'm supposed to do with

those reports. And don't worry, Marcus. Those

kids will turn up... I'll see ya!

(Curious Music Plays)

I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.

There never is.

Chase: No, Marty always does this.

(Curious Music Ends)

No, I'm serious. he gave up his spot! I know, right?

Now I'm stuck there until who knows when, no one to talk to!

Sounds like she's stuck hanging out with

some real losers tonight.

She's just dramatic.

Shakespeare is dramatic. Chase is just...

loud.

Chase: Because he is a silly, silly boy.

She's always been loud.

I didn't know you guys were friends.

Crystal: What?

Oh. Well. We aren't. Anymore.

What happened?

(Sighs) High school.

You sure you're bringing enough books?

Just figured I'd get some studying knocked out.

Gonna be a long night.

Chase: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to use a tone with you-

Not bringing anything?

Just my sense of adventure.

Chase: No it’s-It-No-

Hey, Crystal... you're a girl...

Look who paid attention in sex ed.

What's the best present a guy ever gave you?

That's easy, actually. Last year, when I was on

paper staff, I got this.

Donny: A pen?

Crystal It's a really nice pen!

Donny: Romantic. Wait, did you get this from Mr. Neiman?

Ya... The English teacher?! You and him...

- What? - Are you?

No! God Donny, thats disgusting. He's a teacher.

You asked me what the best present

I ever got from a guy was and this is it.

Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

It's a nice pen.

It's useful!

Flicking pen.

Chase: I don’t know, probably?

So what'd you get for Chase?

What? Nothing, nothing. I was just-making conversation.

Really? 'Cus you know If you want, I can ask again louder!

Okay! Jeez! Just keep it down, all right?

It's real silver.

Nice, huh?

Uh-huh. Sure it's not for you?

It's meant to represent my name. So that, I'll always

be close to her heart and her-

Oh, no! That's not egocentric at all-

The jewelry store was out of "C" s!

I was in a rush! I panicked.

Panic and egotism? You know that's the one-two punch

to make a girl all weak in the knees.

Chase: Oh and I can’t even wear those cute new heels I got.

I like it.

(Car Honking)

Me. Howell: All right, prisoners Fall in!

(Adventure Music Plays)

(Adventure Music Continues)

(Adventure Music Continues)

(Adventure Music Continues)

(Adventure Music Continues)

Mr. Howell: Here we are, kids.

The oldest standing jail in the state.

Closed for decades, recently refurbished, and graciously on

loan for all our fund-raising needs.

Crystal: You know that's the problem with

traditional fund-raisers

Not creepy enough.

Donny: There's your creepy.

Excellent.

Chase: Seriously? There are still places we

can't get bars on our cells?!

Oh, don't worry, Chase. You'll have plenty of "cell-bars"

tonight. If you follow my- You know the cells...

with the... bars? Right, so...

The Marion Country Jail house. Built around the turn of the

century it was originally intended as a small

slaughterhouse for pigs and chickens,

but the livestock proved difficult to protect from

local predators. (Chuckling)

Thankfully the design converted easily to-

Right, history's boring.

I'll follow you guys into the-ya, good.

(Sniffles)

(Soft Thud)

(Adventure Music Continues)

(Adventure Music Continues)

And this would be the "minimum security" wing?

This is the "house" part. Jails used to be owned and run by

regular families. Like a bed and breakfast. With bars.

Mr. Howell: That's right.

Hence the term "jail house" or "big house."

Hurry. we gotta get you kids locked up so

we can keep things moving...

Here. (Chuckling)

(Grunting to Unlock Door)

(Keys Rattling)

(Chuckling)

(Adventure Music Continues)

(Adventure Music Continues)

You can't be serious.

(Adventure Music Continues)

Donny: I'd rather sleep in the creepy forest.

Chase: Feel free.

See, this is why I wanted to do a car wash.

Crystal: In the middle of winter. Brilliant.

(Door Screeching, then Slams Shut)

(Chase Yelps)

Mr. Howell: So, each of these cells has its own...

"special charm."

(Adventure Music Ends)

Donny: So...

We're not going to have... y'know, cell mates?

Mr. Howell: No, lucky for you kids,

there are exactly three fully

refurbished-well, partially refurbished-

well three usable cells.

(Curious Music Plays)

Donny, you get the 'deluxe' cell.

Indoor plumbing!

Don't get excited. I'm not sure that it works.

- I'll try to contain myself. - Please do.

And you, Chase.

What's with the caution tape?

Right, well. This cell never did get any indoor plumbing, so some

of the floorboards are a little rotten due to uh...

water damage.

Water...? Oh, hell no.

Is that a rat?

Oh my God where?!

Mr. Howell: Don't worry, they'll stay out of your cell.

I think the smell bothers them.

Freakin car wash was a better idea-

(Sighs)

Now, Crystal, you get the vintage cell!

- Vintage? - No renovations, no damage.

Oh.

They wanted to preserve the death cell

just as it's always been.

Death cell?

(Curious Music Continues)

(Curious Music Continues)

Crystal: Did you lose something Mr. Howell?

No I just thought I had three locks on me.

I'll be right back.

(Curious Music Continues)

(Curious Music Continues)

Donny: Aren't you supposed to be chaperoning us?

Right, well. I'll be back in a moment, in the meanwhile,

don't destroy any public property, touch anyone of the

opposite sex, or die.

Well, there go my best options.

(Curious Music Ends)

Chase: Don't worry, Donny. If you want to go and die,

I promise not to tell.

Donny: Ya, You'd just go grab the first rich, stupidly good

looking point guard you could find to take my place.

Please, Donny. That's not what happened-

Oh, so he wasn't the first-

Oh, my gosh... do you guys really insist on

re-hashing the entire tortured relationship?

Chase: Relationship? We only dated for two weeks!

18 days!

And I wouldn't call it "dating." To go on dates, you need a car!

Why does it always come back to the car, you know I can't drive.

Yes, Donny, I'm well aware of that fact, and believe it or

not, I don't like it when your mother chaperones us...

My mother is a nice lady!

I agree, she's very nice, but that doesn't mean

I want her to go take us to see like puppet shows or something.

Donny: Puppet shows? Is that what we did in our spare time?

Watch puppet shows?

Chase: Ya, I actually recall her taking us to a

Children's Library one time, and it was the worst date

I have ever been on.

Donny: Oh, okay, I see- I get that.

Chase: Ya, I know you thought it was like romantic and like

nostalgic, but that's not really want girls want. Surprise!

Donny: Well I thought, maybe, hey "The Three Little Pigs."

I said that could be her favorite book.

Chase: Right! Right, SO unromantic, Donny.

Donny: Gonna let me talk for a second?

Crystal: Useful gift.

...I was thinking that hey, you could relate to

one of those little pigs-

Chase: Well I was thinking that maybe you think of me as a pig.

Okay, because that's what goes through a girl's mind when you

bring her to go see the three little pigs with your mother!

Oh, ok so then what, you just find someone who can

take you on his own time?

Look Donny, I need someone who can take care of me,

you clearly, can not do that.

Donny: Oh, you get together with Marty freakin' Marshall, then?

Chase: Donny, if you mention that more time,

I swear to God I'm going to scream.

(Smash, Scream, then Car Alarm)

(Growling and Heavy Banging)

(Scary Music Plays)

(Crashing, Rattling, and Growling)

(Car Alarm Blaring)

What's happening?

Donny: I don't know... part of the show?

Trying to scare us?

No. No way. He wouldn't.

Chase? Are you okay?

This isn't funny! I want out of here right now!

Donny: Stay calm. I'm sure it's just-

(Large Bang, Chase Screams)

What was that?!

(Scary Music Continues)

(Car Alarm Blaring)

Donny: Mr. Howell? Is that you?

(Soft Growling)

I think he's hurt!

Mr. Howell? Are you hurt?

(Scary Music Continues)

Crystal you need to go check on him.

Crystal, he could be really hurt! You're the only

one who could help him.

Okay. I know.

(Car Alarm Blaring)

(Scary Music Continues)

(Scary Music Continues)

(Silence)

What is going on?

(Scary Music, Growling, and Screaming)

Chase! What! What is it?

(Crying and Growling)

(Panting)

My door's not locked. My door's-(Gasps)

My door's not locked!

Chase! You have to help her! (Screaming)

Chase! Chase!

- Chase! Can you help her?! - Help me!

(Panting)

Donny: Crystal!

(Rattling and Growling)

(Growling)

(Gasps)

(Growling and Screaming)

(Unlatching)

No, no, no!

(Scary Music Continues)

(Deep Growling)

(Snarls)

Crystal!

(Heavy Panting)

(Deep Growling)

(Scary Music Continues)

(Gasps)

(Scary Music Continues)

(Gasping and Panting)

(Silence)

(Smack and Screaming)

Chase!

(Screaming)

(Scary Music Continues)

Come on!

(Scary Music Ends)

(Grunting)

Death cell. (Rewinding Sound)

Crystal!

(Growling)

(Yelp and Screaming)

(Coughs)

(Growling and Gasps)

(Moaning)

(Growling)

Donny!

Guys? Is that you?

Shhh!

Crystal?

Ya... I got Chase, too.

Donny How?

Capital punishment and drunken prisoners with no

bladder control!

Right-can we get out?

It looks like it.

Oh, great.

(Rattling)

(Grunting)

Get me out of here?

Crystal: Um... Ya. Ya ok. Uh, stand back.

Chase.

Be careful.

(Banging)

Take your time.

(Sighs)

But, you know... hurry.

(Yelps and Sighs)

Damn it

I think they renovated too well.

(Sighs)

So, uh... I'm stuck in here, huh?

(Sighs)

Can you see it? Is it still here

(Sighs)

It has to be.

Either of you have a signal on your phone?

Um hold on.

(Sighs) No.

What?

Check your phone.

I didn't bring a phone.

You didn't bring a phone?

I didn't think I would need one.

Donny: You seriously didn't bring a phone?

Oh come on I didn't think we were gonna be eaten tonight!

Donny: All right, well...

there has to be a phone in the house, right?

Is there a way out of where you are?

Ya. But what if that thing is still out there?

No way we go out there. Just-

We'll-We’ll just wait here. Mr. Howell will go get

help. I mean, He wouldn't just leave us here.

Donny: What if he can't help us?

What do you mean?

You heard him screaming, Chase.

So! We heard you screaming too and you got away,

maybe-maybe he got away.

Ya. Maybe.

Chase is right. Maybe he went for help.

We'll just have to wait for...

(Curious Music Plays)

What is that?

What is what?

Cameras.

Cameras?

A bunch of them. Like,

surveillance cameras or something.

(Curious Music Continues)

There's one in my cell, too.

Maybe...

Maybe this is one of those shows

where they scare people as a prank!

Oh my God!

If you were in on this,

I swear I will never forgive you ever!

(Chase Yelps)

Stop being nuts.

If it's a security camera, maybe someone is watching us.

Hello! Hey! Hello! Hello! Hey, c

Hello!

Hello, can you see us? Hello?

(Curious Music Turns Scary)

(Grunting)

Donny Run for the door!

Come on!

(Growling)

(Scary Music Continues)

(Grunting)

(Struggling and Screaming)

(Scary Music Continues)

Ready? Go!

(Heavy Breathing)

(Growling)

(Screaming)

(Panting)

(Grunting)

(Screaming)

(Yelps)

(Scary Music Continues)

(Scary Music Continues)

(Wincing in Pain)

Donny: Open the door!

- We’re trying! - Help us!

(Growling)

(Struggling)

(Loud Growling)

(Screaming)

(Heavy Breathing)

(Growls)

(Panting)

(Scary Music Ends)

(Crying)

(Scary Music Continues)

(Panting)

(Mysterious Music Plays)

(Mysterious Music Ends)

Chase: What. The Hell. Was that?

I don't know. Bear? Escaped gorilla from the zoo?

You know that's not it.

I know, but you gotta say those things.

When you say "monster", you just sound crazy.

(Panting) Chase: Be careful!

Relax. I'm just taking a peek. Maybe we can find a way to-

signal for help.

What kind of room is this?

And what is that?

Chase: Is it a phone?

Crystal: Some kind of security room?

Ya, it is a jail. Makes sense.

It doesn't make any sense. It's not a working jail.

Who cares? See if it has Facebook.

Right, maybe we can update our status to "help".

Right! How do you close this. Ugh.

Oh, God, I don't care! Just get on Facebook, you piece of-

(Banging on Door, with Tense Music)

That's right outside the door.

(Banging on Door)

Damn it! Stop! Go away!

Mr. Howell (O.S.): I'd really rather come in there, please.

Mr. Howell!

Mr. Howell (O.S.): Quickly!

Donny: Hold on... it's like Fort Knox in here...

(Tense Music Continues)

Mr. Howell: Ow... ow! Careful.

Chase: Oh my God, are you okay?

Mr. Howell: Yes, I'm fine. Oh, God, you should all still

be in your cells. This is all wrong-

Crystal: We thought you were dead!

Mr. Howell: Hah. Yes, so did I. (Chuckling)

But I'm fine. And you're all fine.

Uh, so as long as we all just stay calm.

We should be safe in here.

Donny: What was that out there?

I'll be happy to show you Donny, I-

Did any of you touch this computer?

We were going to try to get help-

You didn't click anything? You didn't close anything?

Um... We tried to get on Facebook-

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, what-what did you do?

What did you exactly do?

Chase: Nothing! I-I closed the program-

- Did you save it? - I don't know! I-No! Dammit!

(Whispers) This is going to sound crazy,

but I don't think we should be in here.

You'd rather be out there with that thing?

I don't think it's out there anymore.

Mr. Howell disappears. That thing shows up.

Ok that thing disappears, Mr. Howell shows up.

(Whispers) That doesn't mean anything!

Just hear me out-Back up not found!

You are in a beautiful scenic shopping mall.

It's a full moon, that thing let me go because

I stabbed its hand with silver -

Will you kids please just shut up for one second!

No, it's ok, I can fix this, I can fix this.

Mr. Howell, what happened to your hand?

What? Oh. Slammed it in door of the car.

The car?

Yes. The car. The beast attacked me I hid in the car.

I popped in the back seat I hid in the trunk.

(Unlatching) What do you doing?

- Go! - Wait! Wait, Wait!

(Screams)

You'll ruin everything!

(Crying in Pain)

(Panting)

Donny: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

(Tense Music Continues)

(Yelling)

(Tense Music Continues)

Chase: Wait for me!

(Tense Music Continues)

(Tense Music Ends)

Chase: Wait! Someone tell me why we are in the woods?!

Chase, stop and think about what is going on for a second.

I have no idea what's going on!

- Chase! - Don't slap me!

Crystal: Then stop freaking out!

I'm not freaking out.

You are totally freaking out. Just like at your fourth

grade birthday party-when your parents had the

guy in the mouse suit.

Shut up about the mouse suit!

Guys! Focus! Silver, full moon, big, hairy.

We're talking about a werewolf here.

Not helping with the freaking out!

Look, if we-

if we admit we're dealing with a werewolf, we can make a

plan! Now, what do we know about werewolves?

Crystal: Ok right, um also known as a lycanthrope, or

loup-garou in French. Primarily appears in

European folklore-but sometimes in Greek

mythology, the story of Lycan, who I believe

turned into a wolf as a result of

eating human-flesh.

I could be a little fuzzy on that point.

Why would anyone know so much useless information?

Look, not all of us can get by on a C-average and the ability

to stack ourselves into a human pyramid every night.

Some of us have to read. (Scoffs)

Chase: You know, I got an A in physics.

(Sighs) Crystal: Your mom's the physics teacher!

She doesn't give me special treatment.

Okay, stop. Werewolves. Only a few things can hurt it, right?

Right. Like silver bullets.

Silver-silver can hurt it.

Do we have any silver?

Only a little... What else?

I don't know... fire maybe?

Start a forest fire. Great idea.

Should we gather dry twigs? Because

I think I saw some over there by the other completely

useless information you are giving us.

Look, the moon is covered. So all we have to do is

wait it out 'til morning.

I'm not sure about this plan-

Shh! Do you guys hear that?

Oh God, is it Mr. Howell?

I- I think it’s... Jimmy Buffett?

It's pronounced "buffet."

I don't think anyone's ever been eaten alive

while listening to Jimmy Buffett.

Chase: Buffet!

You sound like a moron when you say it like that.

(Faint Children’s Music Plays)

Should we knock?

I don't know. We have no-

Chase: Hello? Hey! Hello?

Guess we're knocking.

Chase: Children in peril out here!

Hey!

Crystal: I don't think anyone's in there.

Donny: Anyone alive, at least.

Why do you feel the need to keep saying things like that?

(Sighs)

Whoa, hey. Let's check the truck, ok? Maybe we

can just get the hell out of-

(Screaming) (Curious Music Plays)

Evans: I'd have listened to the girl. That would've

just been vandalism. Now Grand Theft Auto?

That's serious.

'Specially if it's the Sheriff's truck.

Oh thank God -

Evans: Sorry I couldn't answer the door,

plumbing doesn't work if you catch my drift.

Donny: Sheriff! We think someone's chasing us-

Evans: Hold on son. What happened to your hand?

Uh. Our teacher tried to eat us-

Warn us that an animal might eat us...

- And it did. - Well, it tried.

(Curious Music Continues)

Well then, let's not stand around out here like a buffet.

Let's get you kids someplace safe, ok?

"Safe" like, "inside" maybe?

Evans: You wouldn't like it in there. First,

no plumbing, second, no back wall.

(Curious Music Continues)

I just gotta grab my stuff, and we can head into town.

Chase: We don't have time for this!

Evans: Can't leave this lying in the woods with you kids

running around, anybody else out here with you tonight?

Just our teacher. But he's... back at the jail.

Hopefully.

Evans: What? You were the lock-in kids?

Chase: Unfortunately.

Evans: Well good for you, gettin' outta early.

I wouldn't want to run into Alexander Drake.

Who?

(Metallic Thud)

Evans: Alexander Drake? Y'know, the ghost that haunts-

don't you kids appreciate a good campfire story anymore?

Alexander Drake's the reason that jail's closed.

Back when that was a working jail,

town was still pretty sleepy.

Not really any crime, just drunk and disorderly cases

mostly. no one ever really dangerous. Not until old

Alexander Drake. He was linked to a string of murders

all across the state.

Old Drake, he was a biter.

Jailor's kid nearly lost his finger

trying to pass him his dinner. Gimme a sec.

Whoa whoa whoa! Don't touch the truck.

Marcus, are you out there at the gin?

(Curious Music Continues)

So how are we supposed to get in?

I don't know, I can clear the front?

Go clear out the cabin and we can fit in there.

Evans: ...Teenagers out here at the cabin. I'm gonna

run 'em on into town. Listen. Might be nothing,

but you see any kids out there,

send 'em on home, okay? Thanks.

Hey, hey, that's stuck.

Someone's gotta ride in the back...

Anyway, Drake was scheduled to ship off to the

state correctional facility. But-

But the morning of the transport...

the police showed up, the jailor and his whole family

all gone. Nothing but shredded clothes, and blood everywhere.

All gone but the youngest boy...

(Metallic Clanking)

who they found hunkered down

in the hayloft under the cells. Scared, tired, beat up.

But still alive. And ole, Drake-

he was still locked in his cell, ranting like a

madman. Swore it was some kind of wild animal done it.

Well, he never made it to trial.

They hung him right there in his cell.

(Whispering) Death Cell...

Anyway after that, the state closed down the jail

and old Joshua Howell, he got shipped off

to the children's home.

Joshua Howell?

[(Howling in Distance, Chase Screaming]

- Quiet! - Please shoot it a lot.

You gotta let go of my arm first.

Take these. Get in the truck. Close the doors.

Donny: What are you going to do?

Sheriff stuff. Investigate. Don't worry. If anything

happens, I got this big gun.

You have the keys, right?

I don't know how to drive!

Do we have to keep bringing this up?

Chase: Give me the damn keys- (Gasping)

(Heavy Breathing)

(Curious Music Continues)

This is the Sheriff. If you're a hunter or a hiker with an

injury, shout... so I can find you.

You should... get in the front.

No thats fine, I can ride in the back.

No, no, no, I'm-I'm-I’m ok here.

Um...

If you're a psychopath with a chainsaw... in need of a

shooting... the shouting thing still stands.

(Curious Music Continues)

(Together) Maybe we can both fit... ya...

Donny: Get in, get in.

(Keys Rattling)

Crystal: What are you doing?

I'm going to check on the sheriff.

Chase: Do you see anything?

No.

(Growling, Gunshot, and Evans Yelps)

Go go go go go!

Why aren't we going?

I don't know how to drive stick!

Are you serious?

You don't get to make fun of me!

Evans: Go go go go go!

Why aren't we moving?

She doesn't know how to drive stick!

What kind of teenager can't drive?

I know, it's nuts, right?

Shut up!

(Car Starting Up)

(Car Revving)

(Curious Music Continues)

Woah!

(Grunting and Growling)

Shift up! Shift up!

Chase: I don't know how!

(Heavy Breathing)

Slam on the breaks!

What?!

(Heavy Breathing)

Do it!

(Leafs Rustling)

(Curious Music Continues)

(Slow Heavy Breathes)

(Curious Music Continues)

Crystal: What are you doing?

(Rustling)

Buying you some time. (Gun Loading)

(Gun Clicking)

Now no matter what you see or what you hear,

you keep going.

We're not going to just leave you here...

Go no matter what!

Go!

Tell campfire stories about me!

Should we go back?

Keep going.

(Curious Music Continues)

(Heavy Breathing)

(Curious Music Continues)

(Deep Exhale)

Probably not a good Idea.

(Curious Music Continues)

(Low Growling)

(Car Driving)

(Metallic Jingling)

Are you freaking kidding me?! What in the name of all that's

holy in the freaking world is the

freaking deal damn freaking shit!

No, you're right.

(Curious Music Ends)

(Sigh of Relief)

Crystal Excellent! guys look! We're by the Gin'n'Smooch!

Yes!

Gin and "smooch?"

Ya. The old Cotton Gin.

Where kids go to park and do... stuff.

What kind of stuff?

(Crystal and Chase) - Seriously?

Come on...

Wait, Crystal how do you know about the Gin & Smooch?

Come on, does it matter, there's people...

Seriously... guys... what kind of stuff?

Chase: Oh, Thank God... come on!

Hey! Help us, please! There's something out...

Crystal: We gotta leave now!

Chase: ...here.

Crystal What?

Oh my Gosh, what?

I know this car.

What the hell do you assholes think you're doing?

(Scoffs)

Marty.

Chase?

Are you freaking serious, Marty, do you have any idea

what I have been through tonight?!

Baby, I told you to call me when you got-

Chase: Who is this tramp? Who is-

Hi, I'm Chase, PLEASURE.

Who is this tramp that you're making out with

with while I'm out here being eaten?

You brainless bastard dill-hole, horny little... no!

I swear, I hate you and I hate these woods...

and take me home right now!

I'm serious, take me home...

(Scoffs)

Get in the stupid car!

(Crickets Chirping)

(Car Door Opening)

(Annoyed Sighs)

Hey Donny. Crystal.

Charity.

Hey Charity.

(Car Starting Up)

(Sirens Blaring)

Marty: Jesus, what the hell did you guys do?

(Knocking on Window)

Hi there. Sorry to have to be the annoying law enforcement

type, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask

you minors to stop engaging in illicit activities

and leave the premises immediately.

For your own safety, of course.

Donny: Ma'am, we saw the Sheriff...

Marcus: The Sheriff? What are you talking about?

We were at his cabin earlier when he called you.

- Where is he now? - We think he's dead, ma'am.

What?

Listen, he saved our lives... we were being attacked by...

Something We think it might have-

Shut up for a second. Marcus to Evans, you copy?

Marcus (V.O.): Marcus to Evans, do you copy?

(Curious Music Plays)

Chase: That thing got him, ma'am. Please believe us.

Marcus to dispatch, come in.

Dispatch (V.O.): Go ahead, Deputy.

Has anyone heard from the Sheriff?

Dispatch (V.O.): He's off-duty, Deputy.

Probably down at his shed.

Alright look. Send someone to check on him, would you?

Alright. I need someone tell me what is going on right now.

Look officer, All I know is these three come

running up to my car, they try to tear it up,

like they were trying to car-jack it or something.

Oh my God, really? Lie much about EVERYTHING, Marty?

No, wait, he's right.

We're carjackers.

Uh, ya, uh. What do they call it?

Grand theft auto! You have to take us to jail, right

now. The new jail! Not the old jail!

Yes! And Marty, you two just park

in the woods and look delicious.

Baby, I don't even know what that means!

Come on listen we need to go somewhere now.

Ok I need to know what happened to the Sheriff.

Ok I know it sounds crazy but we were attacked by this-this-

It's a werewolf.

Werewolf.

Crystal: Ya and if we get in your car we could leave

and get the hell out of here and explain it later

Marcus: ...you guys have been drinking-

We need to get into the gin right now.

(Chase and Crystal) What?

You guys been drinking gin?

Donny: No no no, the cotton gin.

We need to get in the gin

right now before it sees us.

Marcus: It? What are you talking about?

Okay... let's get to the gin.

Run. (Panting)

(Curious Music Continues)

(Curious Music Continues)

(Curious Music Continues)

(Heavy Door Opening)

(Curious Music Continues)

Finally, someplace safe and not at all scary.

(Heavy Breathing) (Curious Music Ends)

We need to get into those catwalks...

best place to see that thing coming.

You don't see this thing coming.

(Metallic Thud)

(Grunting in Pain) Donny: God today sucks.

Marcus to dispatch, do you copy?

Dispatch (V.O.): Go ahead Deputy.

Need immediate assistance at the Abandoned Cotton Gin,

possible wild animal.

Dispatch (V.O.): What kind of animal, deputy?

Hairy.

Scary.

Pissed.

Uh... large. Tell them large.

Dispatch (V.O.): Uh, copy that.

Bring appropriate guns.

How long till they get here?

Not fast enough... Come on.

(Mysterious Music Continues) Careful.

This isn't going to keep it from getting up here.

No, but it will slow it down.

This will keep it from getting up here.

(Crash, then Chase Yelping)

(Metallic Rattling)

(Mysterious Music Continues)

(Grunting and Yelps)

(Fast Footsteps)

(Growling)

(Gasps)

Don't guess those are silver bullets, huh?

(Screaming) Okay! Enough! Loud!

You're wasting your time, you can't kill it.

I'm just trying to scare it off.

Mr. Howell (O.S.): That's exactly what it's trying to do.

No, Okay, wait wait, see I can explain.

There's no need... we know all about it.

You're the little boy, aren't you-

The one who survived the Alexander Drake

jail house massacre.

Donny: He bit you and now...

you're a werewolf!

(Mysterious Music Continues)

I'm... I'm a what, now?

You're... a werewolf...?

(Mr. Howell Laughing)

Ya. Uh, no. No, not a werewolf.

Believe it or not, no such thing.

(Chuckling)

But I stabbed it with my silver necklace and it hurt it-

And the full moon-

Ya, it primarily hunts by the full moon and silver or no,

being stabbed hurts.

Then what is that thing?

That thing is your basic, adult North American Sasquatch.

(Mysterious Music Continues)

Officer, would you please uh, you know, watch my...

uh cover me, with your... uh.

Don't let it eat me. Thank you.

A Sasquatch?

Commonly known as a "big foot". Characterized by its

isolated nature, its territorial aggression,

and, if anybody had actually paid attention...

its GREAT BIG FEET!

Hard to believe, I know. Nobody believed my Grandfather either.

He spent his entire life trying to convince people of

what he saw that night.

We spent years in these woods, trying to find proof.

We'd find hair, prints, nothing conclusive.

But the evidence seemed to suggest that

the creature was territorial.

So I thought I might be able to lure it back to the jail

house given proper incentive.

I hoped it would show up during the renovations,

but it proved too shy.

Shy my ass... You used us as bait.

I'm sorry. I honestly thought you would be safe

in those cells. It was a miscalculation. But now we've

antagonized the Beast, It's moved outside of it's

territory. now we have to capture it, or more

people could be killed.

Capture it how?

Come over here.

Now, it stands here, right?

When it leans over to look into the cage, we activate

the chain, snare the Beast, and lower it into the

cage until the men with the tranqs arrive.

Huh. Ok, so how are we going to get it to look into the cage?

How many bullets do you have in your gun?

Well I fired three, so-(Screaming)

I'm sorry... it's for science!

Don't worry, don't worry. There's a gate at the bottom

of the cage. Once we snare the Beast, we'll drag her out.

You're insane.

I'm not insane... I'm committed.

You should be committed!

Mr. Howell: You know, if some kids hadn't

destroyed my video footage

and run from the "werewolf" we'd all still be

locked up safely in the jail cell right now!

(Deep, Low Growling)

(Roaring)

(Panting)

(Growling)

Move, move!

You know it'll be up here in no time.

Then we need to find a way to get down there.

Donny: Come on we'll have to jump.

No way.

Just think of it as one of your fancy cheerleader moves.

(Grunting)

(Groans)

Look at it! So emaciated, maybe diseased.

No wonder it's so aggressive.

(Growling)

Woah! (Laughing)

Chase, Chase come on, you will be fine.

Come on, you gotta get over here.

I did not have to do this at cheer try outs.

(Growling)

(Roaring)

(Panting, then Yelps)

(Gasps)

(Grunting)

Donny I got you. I gotcha! I gotcha!

So Calculating!

Oh ya. It's only a matter of time before it-

Aha!

Right. Um... We should find a way-

(Panting)

Right! Good work.

(Panting)

(Mysterious Music Continues)

(Grunting)

(Groaning)

Crystal: Are you okay?

I don't know... I think my arm is broke.

Can you open the grate?

It's locked.

Can you unlock it please?

Um... Ya, everyone look for a latch!

We can't find one, is it in there?

Why would it be in here?!

I don't know!

Mr. Howell: Excellent. Keep distracting it... I'll get the-

Shut up you crazy jackass!

Mr. Howell: Right!

(Mysterious Music Continues)

Winch... winch... winch..

Winch... (Gasps)

(Buzzer Ringing)

(Mysterious Music Continues)

Damn it!

(Alarm Bells Ringing)

(Soft Growling)

(Snarling)

(Growling)

Holy shit. I can't believe that worked.

Found the latch.

(Yelping)

Uh... Power...

(Huffs)

(Gasps)

(Screams)

Hurry! (Growling)

Mr. Howell: Power!

(Grunting)

(Machine Shutting Off)

(Screaming)

(Growling)

(Snarling)

What are you doing?

Don't worry... this isn't the first wild animal I've

handled... it knows I'm not going to hurt it...

Shh. Shh.

It's magnificent, isn't it? The first live Sasquatch

in captivity. Oh, I know we've both had a rough night...

but tomorrow, we'll be famous.

(Groaning)

Mr. Howell I really don't think you should do that.

Where are you going?

This is the biggest discovery since the dinosaurs!

Tomorrow morning, this photograph is going to be

on the cover of every magazine in the world.

(Roaring, then Screaming)

(Screaming)

(Yelping)

(Yelping)

(Growling) Crystal!

Ahhh!

(Wincing)

Crystal! (Screaming)

(Struggling, then Screaming)

Chase, the gun!

Let go of my ex-boyfriend!

(Groaning and Grunting)

(Growling)

(Howling)

(Whimpering)

(Mysterious Music Ends)

(Sad Piano Music Plays)

(Panting)

(Moans)

Up close it doesn't look anything like a werewolf.

No. Definitely a Sasquatch.

(Heavy Exhale)

More like half-squatch.

(Heavy Exhale)

I was going to say "tear-wolf".

That would have been funny, too.

You guys are losers.

(Huffs)

(Sad Piano Music Plays)

(Sad Piano Music Plays)

(Sad Piano Music Plays)

(Sad Piano Music Ends)

Doc George (V.O.): What's going on?

You're eating up air with Doc George.

Caller: Uh, so a bunch of kids are headed down

to the gin ‘n' smooch for a full moon party.

Doc George (V.O.): Why the hell would anyone go back out there?

Caller: I don't know. I guess because there's liquor

and a good chance you'll get lucky?

Doc George (V.O.): Seriously kid stop...

BLEEP'n calling in. (Soft Piano Music Plays)

You’re making me stupid.

Y'know, I like this trip to the Gin'n'Smooch better

than our last one.

Good thing I have a car.

(Laughing)

Geez, girls never let anything go do they?

(Thud)

Marty: Hey, Donny! You seen Chase?

Haven't really been looking. (Scoffs)

She's tutoring tonight. She's a total pedagogue now.

Sure. Right. (Scoffs)

You know he has no idea what that means.

I know. That’s what makes it so satisfying.

(Heavy Breathing)

(Soft Piano Music Ends)

Huh? That's a big foot.

(Growling and Screaming)

(Adventurous Music Plays)

(Adventurous Music Continues)

Henderson: It was a creature once thought to exist

only in myths and nightmares.

It burst from the woods of a sleepy

Mississippi town that may never sleep well again.

But while the world is focused on the monster

itself, it's easy to overlook the impact

this discovery has had on the people of Marion County.

I'm Earnest Henderson, join us now as we take a

closer look at some of the lesser known heroes

who played a large hand in bringing down a big foot.

Here's Irene Moffit.

Irene (V.O.): There's no nice way to put it. Mortimer Lefleur

is a conspiracy nut.

The classic local back-woodsman

who always had an amazing story about lights in the sky,

ghosts in the attic, or mysterious creatures

roaming through the woods that inevitable brought

laughs of skepticism.

Um, I guess you want to know more about the Emus, right?

Reporter (O.S.): No, no. Maybe later...

Irene (V.O.): But as the world now knows,

Mortimer has had the last laugh.

The Mississippi monster, the Southern Sasquatch, the

Marion Man Beast, the creature that once stalked these woods

has been given many nicknames, but Mortimer Lefleur, long ago

had a... name for the animal,

that to date has been credited with

the disappearances and the deaths of

nearly a dozen people.

I call it "The Bad Thing". Or just ”Bad Thing”. I don't always

say "THE Bad Thing" because "The Bad Thing"

sounds more formal and I think that,

well, frankly, formality when addressing

a creature that is basically a, uh, cold blooded killer, is

somewhat disrespectful to those

people that were consumed previously.

Actually, autopsies on the creature

revealed that it did not eat any of

it's victims, in fact, they believe that it

was largely a vegetarian.

See now, that is just what it wanted you to think.

The creature wanted us to believe

that it didn't eat people?

YES! Exactly, Thank you. They are just waiting for

us to display them in our zoos, to-to-to cart them

around to fairs, to take them to petting zoos or even breed

them like pets. Well then, that's when we'll discover

to late... that we have let the hen into the wolf house.

Mr. Lefleur... I-

I meant to say the wolf into the henhouse.

Can I say that again?

Well, we're live so... The Wolf into the henhouse!

Um, Mr. Lefleur, it's been said that you were the first person

to raise awareness about the beast being in these woods,

now have you seen the monster before the first attack?

I don't know why you people always want to ask questions

about the bad thing.

You want me to ask you about the Emus don't you?

Genetic Mutations! And an Abomination that if not stopped

will sweep across this great state like the black plague

through Europe, right Duncan?

Duncan: (O.S.): Uh, Huh.

The three teens who with the help of local law enforcement

trapped and killed the beast have become overnight

celebrities, with talks of a big budget movie already under

way. But there was another hero from the Sheriff's dept.

Involved that night. One whose story has not been told.

That is until tonight.

Don Wrightwood has story.

Don: Erin Bachmer is a career law enforcement professional

But she's never carried a gun and she's never made an

arrest and until that fateful winter Arielle Bach had

never saved a life.

But that was before she received a radio

distress call from her co-worker

and lifelong friend, Deputy Ellen Marcus,

Tell us about that fateful night...

Tell us about the distress call that forever changed your

life and the life of everyone here at Marion County.

Our office uses a central dispatching service

Mhm.

Go On.

(Sighs)

I'm the office manager.

I file and organize reports.

Radio communications come in and go out

through a third party service.

(Whispering) I told your people this when they called-

There you were. Grossly untrained for this kind of

thing, unsure of what to do, the life

of your friend and the lives of three young

children on the line, what was going through

your mind?

Well... I remember thinking,

"Oh My God!" Why is deputy Marcus calling me,

the office manager, at my home...

On my personal phone, when she

should have been using her radio to call into

central dispatch, who has the

capability of dispatching the required services.

Centrally.

Hence the name Central Dispatch.

It must have been very hard for you to deal with that.

Get out of my house.

I'm sorry?

And you were also wrong about my not carrying a gun.

I think we should leave...

(Gun Clocking)

Come On! Let's go! Come On!

And abandoned jailhouse,

a gruesomely murdered family.

And the restless spirit of a crazed criminal.

These were the elements

of a decades old camp fire story inspired by

the creature, Duncan Toose is best known for recounting

this local folktale... Hello Mr. Toose.

Uh, huh.

I understand you tell the most accurate and frankly

chilling version of the jail house massacre...

Uh, huh.

Would you mind sharing your account

of that harrowing incident.

It was a night, just like tonight.

Moon was full.

And out of the woods-

Oh, Mr. Toose, I'm very sorry we have to break in here, we

have live on the phone Sheriff Bran Evans,

Evans (V.O.): Hi Ernest.

Sheriff Evans, how did you manage to live through your

face to face showdown with the beast?

Evans (V.O.): Well, to be honest,

I think it was just a combination of

dumb luck and old fashioned playing possum.

Amazing, well that clears everything up perfectly.

And I see no reason to ask any further questions.

Evans (V.O.): I appreciate it.

Coming up after the break, oh, Mr. Toose, your still with us...

Well Mr. Toose if your still willing, we'd very much like

for you to share with us your version of the legendary

jailhouse massacre.

It was a night, just like tonight.

And the moon... the moon was full.

And the monster come out of them

woods and attacked people!

(Adventurous Music Ends)

(Crickets Chirping)

That's it.

(Piano Stringer)