Original subtitles

Miss Elliot...

Yes?

Bill will be ridin' into Denver in about an hour.

Oh, thank you, Major Adams.

I'll have my letter finished by then.

All right.

"Dear Aunt Martha,

"you better sit down and have the smelling salts handy

"before you read this.

"Since you and I said good-bye in New York last winter,

I have become the mother of 12 boys."

All right, inspection.

Hands first.

"Twelve lovely little boys,

and all mine."

"Dear, dear Aunt Martha,

"in the last few months, I have completely forsaken

respectability, conservatism, and New York society."

"I've become a fugitive from the law

"and the mother, without benefit of clergy,

"of 12 little boys.

"I'll try to tell you how it all came about.

"You will recall that I left for St. Louis

"as soon as word came of Father's illness.

"I didn't realize how serious that illness was.

Poor Abby had to tell me."

Oh, my poor wee bairn. I'm so glad you got here in time.

Oh, Abby, he's going to be all right.

Well, the doctor says his years are against him.

I didn't come all this way to lose him.

He does not know. He keeps saying he'll be up in a day or two.

Then he will be. He's always been a fighter.

Oh, but, child, child, we have to accept.

Accept?

We cannot bind people to us.

We have to know when to let go.

Oh, Chris. Now I'll be all right.

I'll be fine now.

Tears, Chris?

You always said that women cry when they're happy.

Obviously men do, too.

Ah, Chris.

Chris, I must confess, I'm glad to see you.

Are you going to marry Charles?

Charles?

Now don't tell me it's all over

between you and Charles Cunningham.

Father, I wish you and Aunt Martha would stop trying to marry me off.

You've been a widow for almost ten years.

It isn't natural for a handsome woman to live alone.

We're not gonna quarrel about that now, are we?

Why not? I'm sick in bed.

I ought to have the right to quarrel about anything that I think I might enjoy.

Yes, sir.

Did Abby tell you I sold the school?

Sold the school?

I'm going to open the John Russell School for Boys in Sacramento.

Sacramento?

Oh, and, Chris, when you go for lunch,

give an eye to see what Abby has given the boys for dessert.

I don't want her using my illness

as an excuse for stewed prunes.

But I thought the boys were sent home.

See if you can coax the chocolate cake out of Abby for them.

Nobody ever found a better cure for the doldrums than a good chocolate cake.

Tell her you want it.

Are the boys still here, Father?

Only my boys.

Your boys?

How anyone can turn away a homeless boy, I'll never know.

How many this time, Father?

Oh, just a few.

How many?

Only 11.

Only 11?

I'm taking them out west with me.

I bought two wagons.

They're out in the barn right now.

Oh, Father.

I'm not going to leave my boys behind

to end up in an orphanage.

The west is the place for boys.

He can grow tall and strong.

A man could find his youth again.

Who knows what you might find in the west.

Come with us, Chris.

We're leaving with Seth Adam's train next Monday.

Monday?

You don't think I'm a silly old man

to dream of California?

Oh, no.

It's the promise land,

rising up into the western sun,

a challenge calling out.

Oh, to see it, to be part of it!

Father?

Father?

Abby.

Abby!

It's all over.

It's all over.

"My father's 11 sons ranged in age from 6 to 14.

"We faced each other across a terrible emptiness,

"an overwhelming loss.

What could I say to them?"

"How do you explain to a child

"what you can't explain to yourself?

"I don't remember what I said.

"I only know we tried to touch one another

across an aching void."

"But at last, acceptance came, as it must,

"and I rose from my tears

and reached for my father's words for comfort."

Oh, hello.

I threw up!

Are you sick?

No, I just threw up.

What you doing?

Baking a cake.

What kind of a cake?

Chocolate cake.

Jumping Jehoshaphat!

Who's it for?

For all of us.

If Abby catches you, you'll get what for!

What's everybody doing?

She's making chocolate cake for all of us!

Hooray for the Irish!

Are you Irish?

Well, everybody's a little bit Irish.

Can we eat the cake now?

No indeed, not until it's baked.

Can we eat it as soon as it's baked?

You can eat it as soon as it's frosted.

The minute it's frosted?

The very minute.

Even if it's 3:00 in the morning?

Even if it's 3:30 in the morning.

Jumping Jehoshaphat!

Arm of Erin!

I was sound asleep, and I heard somebody say chocolate cake!

You couldn't have been very sound asleep.

I'm starving.

How can you be starving? You ate three of our dinners tonight.

It isn't Christian to waste food.

Someone moved my glasses. I had to feel my way here.

Uncle John died today, Professor!

Robbie!

He did die!

He doesn't know anything about dying.

I do know! I do know!

My dog died. Uncle John buried him.

Uncle John told me.

What did Uncle John tell you?

He said Bunky had gone someplace else.

He said we weren't burying Bunky,

we were burying a body Bunky was tired of using.

Do know about dying!

Yes, darling.

Maybe you know more than any of us.

Do I see little laddies that ought to be in bed in my kitchen?

In the middle of the night?

They're here at my invitation, Abby.

And whose invitation are you in my kitchen by, Miss Sauce Box?

Father wanted the boys to have a chocolate cake.

In the middle of the night?

Father said nobody ever found a better cure for the doldrums.

There's a time and place for everything.

Oh, yes, Abby,

and this is the time and the place for chocolate cake.

Well, in that case...

I better see about the frosting.

"At 3:30 in the morning,

"we held our own memorial service.

"No words were said. No words were needed.

"Father seemed very close,

"and I, at 3:30 of that April morning,

"became the mother of 11 little boys.

"No words were said. No words were needed.

"Strange how swift and surely bonds can be cemented.

"I was theirs, and they were mine.

Let no man dare try to put us asunder."

You intend to do what?

I intend to keep those boys.

You can't keep those boys. Well, who says I can't?

The City of St. Louis, the State of Missouri, the United States of America,

and I say so... Morton W. Snipple,

head of the St. Louis Institute for the Destitute and Homeless.

Those boys are not destitute and homeless.

The City of St. Louis says they are.

They have me.

They can't have you. You're a maiden lady.

I am not a maiden lady. I am a widow.

The City of St. Louis sees no difference.

Then the City of St. Louis is as thick-headed as you are!

I did not come here to banty terms with you.

No, you came here like a dogcatcher

to try to snare up 11 helpless little boys!

I will not dignify that remark with an answer.

Those boys are not destitute.

They're a family. They're my father's children.

Your father never legally adopted those children.

Then I will!

You can't adopt them! You're a maiden lady!

If you call me a maiden lady once more,

I'm liable to forget I'm even a lady!

The State of Missouri pays so much a head for those children,

and if you think I'm going to allow my institute to be deprived of those funds...

Funds?! Mr. Snipple, you get off this property

before I lose what little control I still have!

Let us not indulge in female hysteria.

Mr. Snipple, I warn you, when I am aroused,

I can be just as formidable as the State of Missouri,

the United States of America,

and the St. Louis Institute for the Destitute and Homeless!

Now I advise you to scat... And scat fast!

Very well, madam. We'll see what the law has to say about you.

You haven't heard the last of me.

Oh, Abby, I lost my temper.

I'm glad you gave him a piece of my mind!

There is nothing feeble-minded about a maiden lady!

I've been a maiden lady since the day I was born!

Abby, call in the boys.

Tell them there is to be a Council of War in the parlor.

Now, boys, I want you to think this over very carefully before you vote

because what we're discussing isn't exactly legal.

You mean we'll be fugitives?

Well, we will be in the State of Missouri, I'm afraid.

Jumping Jehoshaphat! Isn't that great?!

Will someone put it to the chair in a form of a motion?

Mr. Chairman, I move we go west!

Second the motion!

ALL: I second that!

It's been moved and seconded that we go west.

Anyone opposed?

It's carried! We're going west!

Mind you, this is a secret operation,

and if one word of this gets out, we won't be able to go.

Now, we'll load our wagons as soon as it gets dark

and be on our way before daybreak.

Where you going, Robbie?

I'm going to throw up!

Aw.

I can take it! I can take it!

Are you sure? Yes, I am.

Well, who are you?

Please, ma'am, may I see Mr. Russell?

Mr. John Russell?

Some boys told me if I came here,

they'd take care of me.

Well, where are your mother and father?

I haven't any.

You haven't any?

Well, where do you live?

On the streets. I play the fiddle, and I beg.

Please, ma'am, couldn't you help a poor little chap

with no mother and father and nine at home to support?

What's your name?

Nat Conners.

"Nat Conners was the 12th.

"Father could never turn a boy down,

"and certainly he was made of sterner stuff than I.

"That's what I told my conscience

as I tucked Nat Conners in my heart with all the rest."

"We traveled all night and all the next day."

"I had a mental picture of Mr. Snipple"

"riding a pitchfork after us all the way."

"When we reached St. Joe, we found the train"

"had pulled out four hours ahead of us,"

"and we kept right after it, but at long last,"

"we came face to face with the wagon master,"

"and the wagon master came face to face with us."

Twelve boys and two helpless women!

Oh, but we're far from helpless, Major Adams.

Mrs. Elliot, I agreed to take 11 boys and one man,

not 12 boys and two women!

But you wouldn't send us back.

You couldn't. That would be too cruel.

Don't you like little boys?

Well, of course I like little boys in their place and in smaller numbers,

but there's so many of you! There's so many of them!

I don't know. This is a problem. I'll have to think about this.

BOY: Well, isn't he gonna take us?

I don't know.

Does the west belong to him?

No, but I don't see how we can get there without him.

Well, there's no use crying about spilled milk until it's spilt.

He hasn't said no yet.

You're quite right, Abby. We must think positively.

Now you and I'll get supper.

George, you and Kenny unhitch the horses,

and the rest of you boys go play for a while.

Perhaps when he's had time to think about it...

They're such good little boys, Abby, such good little boys.

Major, Mrs. Carter wants to see you right away.

Somebody's little boy pulled her little girl's pigtails,

and she's madder than a wet hen!

She's madder than a dry hen, too.

Come on, Major, a lot of little boys knocked down

Mrs. Willoughby's clean laundry and ran right over it.

Look at this, Major... This dirty old ball

landed right in the middle of my my nice, clean stew!

Now ain't that a pretty kettle of fish?

And one of his boys hit one of her boys, and his boys are bigger than her boys,

but her boys got the upper hand because there were more of her boys

than there were of his boys and, boy, what a fight.

I am telling you, that's what they did!

They didn't. They couldn't have. Well, they didn't have time!

I can show you the laundry, I can show you the black eyes,

and here is the ball that landed in my stew.

Maybe that isn't there ball.

Oh.

What do you say now?

Well, I... I can only say I'm very sorry,

and it won't happen again.

Mrs. Elliot, I know it's hard for an experienced woman to handle one little boy.

It is impossible for an inexperienced woman to handle 12 little boys.

If you'd just give us another chance, they'll be good. I promise they will.

I've got 100 wagons to get to California,

and I cannot take on a nursery school.

I don't want you to take it on.

It's my problem, and I can handle it.

Oh, I grant you, it doesn't look like that right now,

but, well, you must realize the boys and I are new to each other,

and these things take time.

Well, I will furnish you with an escort back to St. Joe.

That's the best I can do.

I quite see your point, Major Adams.

After all, somebody's got to be realistic about this.

Maybe they are a bit much for you, lassie.

Children are difficult.

Nonsense, they're just like us, only younger.

We were little girls. Little boys are different.

When I was a little girl,

I was a match for any little boy,

and I'm still a match for them,

and they're going to find that out

before they get one bit bigger!

Robbie! Professor!

If you and I are going to live together,

you have to have respect for me,

and I have to have respect for you.

You're little boys, not little wild animals.

You're a family, not a mob.

You have to learn consideration for other people.

They live in the world, too, you know.

Are you going to whip us?

No, that would give you entirely too much satisfaction.

It's too easy to take a whipping and forget.

I want you to remember.

Are you gonna send us to bed without any supper?

No, my quarrel is with your intellect, not your appetite.

Are you going to shoot us?

No, not this time,

but you're going to have your supper in your wagon,

and you're going to stay here and think things over.

You're confined to quarters until further notice.

I don't like you anymore.

Well, I'm afraid at the moment, the feeling is quite mutual.

What's mutual?

She doesn't like us either.

Well, you haven't been exactly likeable.

I'm ashamed of my sons,

and that's not a nice feeling.

You've had no supper at all.

Why don't I get you a wee morsel of food,

to keep body and soul together?

I'm not hungry.

You cannot command the troops on an empty stomach.

Maybe I was too harsh with them,

but I can't let them get away with things.

I have to earn their respect.

You look so tired.

But on the other hand, I don't wanna

earn their respect by making them hate me.

You cannot sit here all night.

A good many women, who surely aren't any more intelligent than I am,

have managed to raise quite respectable children.

Sleep on it, lassie. Tomorrow's another day.

There's a lot more to being a mother than people realize.

If she sends us back to Mr. Snipple, I'll run away.

I'll go with you.

You're too little.

I'll get bigger.

Where you gonna run to?

I don't know. Maybe to sea.

Suppose you get seasick?

I hope I do. It'll be my just dessert.

Dessert... I'm so hungry.

How can you be hungry at a time like this?

I'm growing.

If any of you guys wanna come with me,

I can teach you all how to beg.

Let's go with Nat. Then we can all stay together.

I don't want us to go away! I want us to stay here!

We can't stay here. Nobody likes us.

I don't want nobody to like us!

Aunt Chris!

Robbie, darling. What's the matter?

Aunt Chris...

I'm sorry I threw the ball in Mr. Wooster's stew.

I'm sorry you did, too, and so is Mr. Wooster.

I'm sorry I knocked down the laundry.

We're all sorry.

All right, it's all over and done with now.

Let's not talk about it anymore, hmm?

Aunt Chris, don't give us back to Mr. Snipple.

Give you back? Oh, I wouldn't think of it.

Your my children.

Even when we're bad?

I suppose especially when you're bad 'cause then people scold me,

and I have to take the responsibility.

We'll never be bad again.

I know.

Being a little boy isn't easy.

Want to know something?

Being a grownup isn't easy either.

It isn't?

No indeed.

Grownups are naturally good. Boys are just naturally bad.

Boys aren't just naturally bad.

They just naturally have a lot to learn.

Now come on, you go back to sleep, all of you.

ALL: Good night, Aunt Chris.

"A few hours earlier,

"I'd been ready to smack every single bottom,

"and now I was overwhelmed with tenderness

"I didn't know how to express.

"I had never sung a lullaby or told a bedtime story

"or heard a child's nighttime prayers,

"but I knew that night, with great certainty,

"there was no finer gift in all of heaven

than 12 fine sons."

"I, a childish woman, had come into a kingdom,

and somehow I had to get my little kingdom west."

No, no, no!

But if you'd just be reasonable...

Confound it, I am reasonable!

Confound it, you are not!

You stay out of this!

Even hardened criminals get a second chance.

Bill, we are not talking about hardened criminals!

Well, that's my point.

It was the dream of my father's life

to take those children to California.

You can't refuse them!

I certainly can't!

You've got nothin' to say about this!

Oh, I know that!

Mrs. Elliot, I'm sorry.

I don't want you to think that I'm unsympathetic with your problem, but...

Major Adams, the moment I saw that kind, friendly face,

that warm, outgoing smile, I knew we'd found a friend.

Well, I'm very happy to be your friend,

but I simply cannot take you and those boys on this trip.

Yeah, but you accepted her father's deposit.

Whose side are you on?!

Hers.

Major Adams, please. You can't be made of stone.

I'm sorry. I will give you back your father's deposit.

You are made of stone!

Aw, granite's more like it.

Well, you're a great help, the two of you!

Well, there's no point in prolonging this painful discussion.

Mrs. Elliot... Major Adams, I am no longer with your wagon train.

I am no longer your responsibility,

and from now on, as far as I'm concerned,

you do not exist and your wagon train does not exist.

Please, Mrs. Elliot... Good night, Major Adams.

Will you listen...

All right, you two brains, tomorrow morning, first thing,

you take Mrs. Elliot and those kids back to St. Joe!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are made of stone!

All right, so I'm made of stone,

but I'm still running this outfit, and don't you forget it!

How could I?

Yes, sir.

Crank.

Here's your coffee, Major. Breakfast comin' right up.

I thought I sent you to St. Joe with Mrs. Elliot.

Mrs. Elliot isn't going to St. Joe. She's headin' west.

Well, not with us, she's not.

No, not with us, behind us.

Behind us?

You mean she's following us?

Well, she said it's a free country.

Good for her!

Listen, you go back there and tell that woman

she's not gonna follow this wagon train.

Oh, no, not me.

You know, the way I figure this, it's a top-level mission,

and you wouldn't send a sergeant to do a major's job, would you?

And you certainly wouldn't send a cook!

No, I wouldn't dare send you. You'd probably join them!

Yes, I would!

Hmm. We don't exist, she doesn't exist.

That's what she said.

All right, that's the way she dealt it,

that's the way we'll play it.

We don't exist, she doesn't exist.

Show her this outfit.

She don't exist, and we don't exist, Major.

Get away from me! If there's anything I hate, it's a snoop!

Do you see anything?

Only her fire.

Why don't you let her come with us, Major?

Why don't you mind your own gall-darned business?!

How they doin' down there?

Oh, just fine. Said she doesn't need a thing.

Any sign of him givin' in?

Well, he wouldn't eat his supper.

Hey, that's good. That's a good sign.

Is it?

Having trouble sleepin', Major?

Oh, I got indigestion, I guess.

Something you didn't eat.

Oh, go to sleep.

I can't! I keep wondering if they're asleep.

Poor little things down there all alone,

hearing noises, wondering if the Indians are gonna attack them,

wild animals, maybe they're cryin', too.

Will you go to sleep?

Major, you're worried. Why don't you admit it?

Charlie, the Indians are friendly,

and there are no wild animals, and you know it.

Sure, I know it, and you know it, but do they know it?

Oh, shut up!

Poor little darlings, down there all alone,

scared to death, probably cryin' their little eyes out, too.

Awful.

Mrs. Elliot.

Yes?

Who is it?

It's Major Adams.

Oh. Oh, come in, Major.

You folks all right down here?

Yes. Is something wrong?

Well, no, uh, yes.

I'm gonna have your wagons pulled back into line first thing in the morning.

Oh, that's very kind of you, Major.

Oh, so you're not as hard of heart as you were makin' out.

Well, I was awake.

I couldn't stand the thought of you folks bein' down here

with those kids all by yourselves.

Well, my heart's not made of stone!

Good night.

"And so we were finally accepted.

"We were part of the wagon train community.

"We were going west.

We settled down now to a routine."

All right, water brigade, fill the buckets and canteens.

Dish-washing detail, report to Abby.

Bunk-making detail, report to Aunt Chris in the second wagon.

Wood-gathering detail, get wood.

"I was determined that the John Russell School

"would maintain it's high scholastic rating.

"With Father's lecture books to guide me,

"I started a course on the habits

"of the North-American Indians.

"I found I not only had students,

I had critics."

"The habits of the North-American Indians."

Boy, what malarkey.

I got those habits out of this book.

Well, whoever wrote that book never saw an Indian.

My father wrote the book.

Oh, well, did your father ever meet an Indian?

Well, he... Mr. Hawks, I assume you have met Indians.

Well, yes, ma'am, a good many of them.

Well, then perhaps you'd be good enough to conduct the class

on the habits of the North-American Indian.

Me?

Boys, these pictures aren't right at all.

They're not this way.

They're real dirty, and they're mean.

They're real mean.

What they do, they come up on you.

And they got knives, sometimes about that long,

and they take these knives, and they sneak up on you in the dark,

and they take them, and they stick you just like that!

And sometimes they come up behind you,

and they got a tomahawk.

Big, wide blade on it like that.

They grab you right by the hair,

and they just cut your head right off!

"The lecture was realistic and, I have no doubt, accurate.

"We lost a lot of boys to the Indians that night.

"I seemed to be under the continual supervision

"of self-appointed fathers.

"Even my course in cooking for the trail

was under observation."

Do you have a better recipe for white sauce, Mr. Wooster?

Well, white sauce might be all right for women,

but I figure a man needs something that'll stick to his ribs.

Well, what would you suggest that the boys learn to make?

Well, johnny cakes, cornbread, griddle cakes... something like that.

For growing men. I'd be glad to show them if you like.

How you like it, boys? My old uncle taught me how to make these.

"I don't mean to say anything about the respective merits

"of white sauce versus johnny cakes,

"but 12 little boys

had 12 individual belly aches that night."

Now, boys, pretty soon

we're gonna be comin' into buffalo country.

The slightest noise is liable to scare them,

and they'll start a stampede.

They make a noise like thunder.

You'll think the whole earth is shakin',

and if you happen to get in their way, well, that's all.

"All night, the buffalo came like thunder,

"and the whole earth shook.

"It became obvious that my boys

"were suffering from too many fathers,

"and I decided, from then on,

to do my own teaching in my own way."

Now, boys, I want you each to write a composition

about what you saw on the trail today.

That'll be all for now.

Miss Elliot.

Oh, I don't believe we've met.

No, we haven't.

I'm Philip Ayres.

I was watching the way you handle your class.

You have some suggestions?

Suggestions?

I was watching you for pointers.

Me?

Yes.

I'm going out to teach at the University of California.

Oh, well, don't watch me.

I've never taught a class before in my life.

Then you were born with your father's instinct for teaching.

Well, it sounds as though you knew my father.

I was in his first graduating class.

One of his first orphans.

Oh, how nice to meet you.

Hello, Philip.

Hello, Christine.

"How simply and quietly love can arrive..."

"a smile, a handclasp, a word of greeting."

Philip and I met on a western meadow,

"just as the sun was going down..."

"two strangers with the world suddenly in common."

"My father had said,"

"who knows what a woman might find in the west."

"How wise my father was.

"How wonderfully wise.

"Happiness took root and flowered,

"and all my questions seemed answered

"in a single word...

Philip."

I've called a Council Meeting

because, well, it seems the best way to discuss matters

that affect all of us, and this does affect all of us,

although I know what your answer will be.

Mr. Ayres has asked me to be his wife.

Boys, you like Mr. Ayres.

Is the subject open to the floor for discussion?

Well, of course, but...

The subject before the house

is whether Aunt Chris should marry Mr. Ayres.

Would he be marrying just Aunt Chris? Or us, too?

What I mean is, would Aunt Chris be leaving us?

No, Mr. Ayres would be joining us.

As what?

As a father, I guess.

We don't need a father. We've got Aunt Chris.

If we're going to marry a father, let's marry Flint McCullough!

He's nice.

He isn't always tryin' to teach us something.

Let's have a vote on Flint McCullough.

Now, I must inform the Council, Flint McCullough

has never proposed marriage or anything else.

Then why don't we ask him?

Well, we can't do that.

Why?

Well, he has to ask us.

Why?

Well, don't keep asking why!

That's the way it is, that's all!

Why don't we marry Major Adams? He owns this whole wagon train.

I don't want him in the family.

He yells too much.

He doesn't like little boys.

Well, sure he does. He was a little boy himself once.

Major Adams?!

Now, look here, boys, the subject, only subject,

for this Council is Mr. Ayres.

Will the chair let me say a few words, please?

The chair recognizes Aunt Chris.

Mr. Ayres is a kind, good man, and he loves you.

Why, it's wonderful to have a good father!

We don't need anyone but you.

Oh, but you do.

A child's universe is made up of two worlds...

A man's and a woman's.

No matter how much we love or try to fill the void,

half the universe is lacking, if there's only one.

Do we have to marry Mr. Ayres?

Even if we don't like him?

Even if we hate him?

Well, no, of course you don't.

Are you ready for the question?

ALL: Question.

All those in favor of Aunt Chris marrying Mr. Ayres, vote aye.

All those against.

ALL: No.

"For the first time, the Council went against me,

but it was carried and so ordered."

"Good-bye, Philip.

It might have been lovely, but good-bye."

"A boy's will is the wind's will,

and the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts."

Major, we're havin' company.

Get the boys in the wagon.

Hey, you guys, get in the wagon. Let's go, come on.

Is there a woman with a group of boys traveling with this train?

Who are you?

I'm Morton Snipple, head of the St. Louis Institute for the Destitute and Homeless.

Who have I the honor of addressing?

I'm Seth Adams. I'm wagon master of this outfit.

Very pleased, I'm sure.

This is Deputy Marshall Clancy from St. Louis.

Howdy.

We have a court order calling for the arrest of Mrs. Christine Elliot.

On what charge?

The charge is kidnapping.

Kidnapping?

If that woman and those children are here, and we know that they are,

you'd better turn them over, or you'll answer to the law.

"The worst had happened.

"My big gamble had failed.

"The law had caught up with me.

This time, there seemed no place to run."

Please believe me, Mrs. Elliot, I want to help you.

On whose authority did you bring these children out here.

I'm afraid, on my own.

Didn't your father have adoption papers?

I'm afraid my father never had any patience with technicalities.

Well, what right did you have?

They needed me.

That's not enough, Mrs. Elliot.

Don't you understand? You must have some legal position.

I'll have to take them back, won't I?

Oh, well, I don't know. Just hold on a minute.

Well, let's go talk to Snipple and Clancy.

Maybe there's some way out of this.

Mr. Snipple, I know we've had our differences in the past...

Madam, I have come over 100 miles for those children.

Some of them are hardly more than babies.

This is the first home most of them have ever had.

He has the law on his side, ma'am.

Why? Why should he have the law on his side?

Because institutions are founded to provide for those who are in need.

What can a man like you know of a child's need?

All you want to do is herd them up at so much a head.

How can you, even you, be that cruel?

Look, Mr. Snipple, you brought the complaint.

You say the word, and we'll tear it up and forget it.

My duty is clear and simple. Those boys are my charges.

You can go to court, too, Mrs. Elliot.

Oh, I will. Make no mistake of that.

That, of course, is your prerogative.

Now I want to talk to those boys.

Just hold on a minute, mister.

Mrs. Elliot will want to talk to them first, and so will I.

I think she should.

I'm sure glad you weren't in charge when I was an orphan.

Christine! Lassie! Christine!

Oh, Christine, the laddies are gone!

I cannot find a sign of them anywhere!

They've run away!

Bill!

Bill Hawks!

"My sons were gone.

"Day passed, night came...

"a night of fear and prayers.

"A wilderness bared its teeth beyond our fires,

"and my sons had been swallowed up by it.

"In my anxiety about the children,

"I didn't realize anyone else was missing

"until I heard Major Adams

informing the entire continent."

Bill Hawks!

You call me, Major?

Is your name Bill Hawks?

No, my name's Charlie Wooster.

I know that! Where's Bill?

I ain't seen him all evening. Don't suppose he's lost, do you?

Well, he better not be. Bill!

"If the Major and I

"could have known where Bill was,

we both would have been easier in our minds."

"We don't want to be orphings." "Orphings"?

Did I spell it wrong?

Don't you worry about the spelling, boy, they'll get the idea.

"Major Adams, who usually knew where everybody was,

found, as the hours went by, he couldn't find anybody."

Charlie! Charlie Wooster!

Now he's disappeared someplace.

Maybe he's out hunting.

Well, if he's out hunting, Mrs. Elliot, he's lost.

Charlie! Charlie!

Now I want you boys to eat everything on your plates.

It's good for you, and besides, it's put hair on your chest.

Who believes that?

I do.

"No one knew how Bill managed to get into camp

under everyone's noses, pin up that note,

and get out again, but somehow he did."

They can't get away with that.

You'd better find those boys, Major. I'm holding you responsible.

You know, Mr. Snipple, you're a real nice man,

a fine man.

"Abby was gone long before I missed her.

"By now I think Bill had almost forgotten Mr. Snipple

"and was beginning to look on the whole thing

as a game with Major Adams."

Philip.

Philip.

Hey, here he comes.

There you are, Philip. Just have a seat.

"Philip was attending his first Council meeting.

From all I hear, he conducted himself beautifully."

The Council has voted to try for an exchange of prisoners.

We're gonna give ourselves up, if they set Aunt Chris free.

Well, that's very commendable, George.

But before we give ourselves up,

we wanna be sure that Aunt Chris will be cared for.

That's why you kidnapped me?

We won't be around to look after her.

We wanna be sure you know what to do.

She never remembers to wear rubbers when it rains.

She always remembers ours.

But never her own.

If she thinks we're not looking, she doesn't eat her oatmeal.

She needs her oatmeal.

It grows hair on your chest.

Sometimes she falls asleep before she puts out her lantern.

That's dangerous.

I don't know what she'll do without us to look after her.

You're only one man.

It's not easy to replace 12 men.

I wish you fellas would stick around,

just kinda move over a little and make room for me.

No, we have to give ourselves up.

Well, don't be so hasty.

I have an idea.

Bill, do you think you could get back into camp and out again?

Yeah, sure. It's gettin' so easy, it stopped bein' fun.

"And sure enough, the next thing

Major Adams knew, somebody else was missing."

I'm telling you, I don't know where they are!

I'm telling you, you can't spirit all those people away from under my nose!

I don't give a continental about your nose.

What makes me mad is that they're being spirited out from under my nose!

Well, do something! Don't just stand there!

Do something! Find that woman!

George: We voted to amend our last vote, Aunt Chris.

You... You want me to marry Mr. Ayres?

I want you to marry Mr. Ayres,

and I want every one of these boys to live happily ever after with us.

Well, what can we do?

Well... I have an idea. Bill...

I think I've got the same idea, Philip,

but it's gonna take a little doin'.

You and Charlie better give me a hand. Come on.

Bill!

Charlie!

Bill!

Get his legs, Charlie!

And by the authority vested in me,

I now pronounce you man and wife.

And those whom God hath joined together,

let no man put asunder.

Marshall Clancy!

Major!

I knew you'd see it my way, Clancy.

I don't mind tellin' you, I'm glad to see Snipple done out of these lads.

Now that they have a father, there's not one thing he can do about it.

Now if you'll start signing these adoption papers, Mr. Ayres.

Oh.

Well, Mr. Snipple, we're happy to have you join us.

So you did know where they were all the time!

Lawless hooligans!

Now, Mr. Snipple, prepare yourself for a shock.

"And so, at last, I was at peace with the law,

"and the law was at peace with me.

"I looked at my husband and my young sons

"and felt my father's blessings all about us.

"I knew suddenly we had found what he wished for us,

what he wished for all of us."

Let's go!

Who are you?

I don't have any mother or father.

CHRIS: You don't?

Well, you have now, sonny.