Original subtitles

The age difference?

No, never an issue.

I mean, just to give you a sense of things. I was in my 30s at the time. I

practicing physician.

I owned my own condo. I wasn't some flaky kid.

But then I met Warren, and at 57, he was in

an absolute prime.

He was handsome and vigorous and doing important things with

the kind of...

Wisdom and empathy you only acquire living in the world that

long.

Warren was a man.

A fully evolved, remarkable man.

Okay, I'm back.

Did she bring the dessert menu?

Trust me, you have never in your life tasted a creme brulee like the one they

make here.

Unless you've been to Paris, of course.

Not our table. Not?

No, no, no. Come on, we were just sitting here. No, we weren't just

here. Yeah, here.

Jeremy, sorry.

I went to the ladies' room by mistake.

I guess I'm on a roll.

Deep breath.

You didn't give me a chance to exhale.

What do you have, a smoke back there? Pick up the pace.

Try to relax.

Yeah, I might have to wait until your fist is out of my goddamn... A large

prostate. It's fairly common at your age.

Yeah? Is that why it takes me a half hour to piss?

Yes, the gland is exerting pressure into urethra.

Picture garden hose being stepped on.

I don't want to do that.

Just fix it, man. I'm begging you. I do security patrol. I'm in a car all night.

I gotta pee every second.

I'm going to people's bushes.

You urinate in people's bushes?

When I do vacation checks, it's fine.

Flomax. It should give you some relief, but see a urologist. At your age, with

these symptoms, there's a significant risk of prostate cancer.

Nice to meet you, too.

I really liked that Quinto fella at dinner.

It was very smart of you to add him to your practice.

His African doctors are really more empathetic. That's been my experience.

did mention that in the car seat, Hart, but thank you. That means a lot that you

feel that way. It really does.

Oh!

Oh! There you are.

Where's that voicemail button? They keep moving.

Okay, you just took a screenshot.

Trying to get this voicemail.

Um, let's, uh, just move it.

Here. Thanks.

Hey, it's Steve Lucas.

So, Warren, I finally heard back from Leslie and Simon and Schuster. Sorry to

say she passed on the pitch.

They're just not looking for Watergate stuff right now.

Watergate stuff?

It's goddamn history.

This is monumental history.

Sorry, honey. I was assistant chief counsel to the defendant committee,

We exposed the crimes of a sitting president.

Are you telling me that that story is not relevant today?

I'm not, no.

Worked hand in glove with the great Sam Irvin. On the Zoom, that Leslie

character didn't even know who he was.

Kept calling him Julius Irving.

God.

When did I fall off the edge of the earth?

FaceTime?

Well, you don't return a goddamn voicemail. Oh, God.

Glad to see you're alive.

Somewhat. Is it morning or afternoon?

Try again.

That explains the darkness.

Sammy, what are you doing, huh?

Are you singing at all? Open mic nights? Anything?

Okay, okay, well, come over tomorrow. I'll get Chinese from next door. You

their boiled squid, right?

Oh, come on, Mr.

Prostate. Come on.

Right in the place.

BPSB, Officer Oshefsky speaking.

Hey, yeah, um, uh, we live across from the Ram House, 228 Lawrence. My wife,

said she just saw some guy hop this side gate. I don't know. He might want to go

check that out. On my way, sir.

right now.

B .S. me. B .P .S. me. B .P .S. me. What do you see? Brooklyn Private Security

Patrol. Oh, the alarm company?

Private Security.

Ex -cops. You pay for it monthly.

Oh, Brian.

God, I forgot.

I signed up for that like three years ago. It's on autopay, so I don't... Why

didn't you announce yourself? I was about to when you... You had an

man. I know. I don't walk around with a limp all night. He fled.

But I need to check the house. Can you wait here with the dog, please?

So what do you think happened? You think he came in through that window?

Please wait there.

Could you take your shoes off?

What? Wear shoes off, household.

Okay, yeah, sure, sorry.

Oh, my God, and I just realized something.

The alarm didn't go off. Not set?

Not even set. My husband always sets the alarm, always. He never forgets. He

forgot. He did.

Yes, he did, and...

I didn't even think to check.

You know how when you're not in the habit of doing something every day?

mean, brushing your teeth, you're not going to forget that. But setting an

is... Wow. You know they say that you feel violated when you get robbed?

I think I feel that way, but it's all so recent. I haven't had a chance to

process it.

Is that your room?

Yeah. Is he usually such a sound sleeper?

Yeah. He's older than me.

Than most people.

This is very unprofessional, but I need to urinate immediately. May I use your

bathroom, please? Thank you. Of course. The powder room is right downstairs.

Yep.

Hey,

I just remembered something.

A young guy rang our doorbell like a week ago, raising money for a school

basketball team. But it sounded kind of fake. He kept forgetting the name of the

school. Could that have been him casing us? Do you have a video?

A video?

Did I take a video of him? That would be weird.

I meant, do you have a doorbell camera?

Oh, no.

Everybody has those now.

Would that have taken a video? How does that work exactly?

Ma 'am, I'm terribly sorry.

I've been having some...

lately, which you might very much not.

Not what?

Speaking. Oh, sorry.

Of course.

Have you seen a urologist? Not yet.

I'm a urologist. That's what I do. I'm at Riverview in Manhattan.

Call the office tomorrow. I'll get you in right away.

Okay. Dr.

Cynthia Rand.

But don't go through the main desk. Ask for my personal scheduler, Yolanda. She

can be a little grumpy. Ma 'am.

Lieutenant Murphy.

All's well on deck tonight, sir.

She's like a lake.

Great. Okay.

Um, if everything's good, then, um, you can go. Yeah, so, uh, I'll send my

report to the NYPD, but, you know, don't get your hopes up. No, I get, yep, yep,

got it. Understood. Thank you. Thank you so much. Good night.

And so the seat is in your bag, sir. Have a nice day.

Hi, copper.

Normally register open so you can't avoid me.

How you doing?

You know, just crushing it. How about you? How's the crime fighting going?

Lady beat the shit out of me with the lamp, but otherwise fine.

Look, CJ, I'm really sorry.

I know.

I said I wouldn't call you after.

We fucked.

Come on. Hey, come on.

It's okay.

Just missed you is all.

Hey, you down for a little morning sex?

You want to sex with me, seriously?

Yeah, why not? I have a break at 8 .30.

I mean, you were just going to go home and jerk off anyhow, right?

To me?

Sure, now.

Well, then that's that.

What do you want with me anyhow?

I don't know. You got this hot old guy thing going and it turns me on.

And the big pistol.

Yuppie!

8 .30!

With the boss!

Sharp six -year max dilator, please.

Thank you.

I need some suction, Javier.

I heard you were robbed last night, Dr. Rand.

Not a big deal.

No one was hurt.

Nothing even stolen.

Need a sponge, please?

Let's see a bit of that horse.

It's me. Shit for brains.

Nothing.

So, did Warren scare him off? Stop acting, please.

All right, now you own half a cinder block. We'll make a nice weekend

Come on, we gotta go.

Well done, folks. Thank you.

He's on.

Hi, hi, hi, Doug.

Cynthia. Hey there.

Hey, look at you.

Type of sore eyes. How you been?

Good, good.

Sorry, I'm just shoveled. I just got out of surgery.

Oh, well, you look beautiful even in scrubs.

Especially in scrubs. They augment.

Oh, okay.

What's up?

What's going on?

Doug, you remember my husband, Warren?

Yeah, the great Warren Rand, of course.

At the moment, he's possibly entering a phase of mild cognitive decline. So I

thought I'd reach out to you, expert of experts, to get a sense of what exactly

is going on. How old is he now? 83.

Jesus.

He's in great health.

You mean other than the dementia?

Dementia? Whoa.

That's a big word to throw around. I haven't even... Told you the specifics.

Memory loss?

Well, a little, yeah, but I have that too.

This morning I couldn't remember the name of one of the Charlie's Angels. The

one Kate Jackson played.

There you go.

Special agent.

Couldn't help you.

So what else would you consider a sign of dementia?

Easily agitated.

He's always been a feisty guy, but maybe more now, yeah.

Disoriented at times.

Yeah. Actually, last night... Sabrina Duncan.

Special Agent Sabrina Duncan.

That would have bothered me all day.

Sha la la... Oh, fuck it.

Hello,

Elise.

Get lost.

So, just lay it out for me, Doug, okay? What do the next five years of my life

look like?

At some point, he will need full -time care.

Home or a facility?

No, at home. I mean, the man stays in his home.

Yeah, that may or may not be the best way to go. At a facility, he can

socialize, do the different activities.

You can get on with your life.

I don't want to get on with my life.

My God, he's my husband.

You seem so shocked at this. You didn't expect this at all? No, no.

I mean, it was a lie when I met him. He ran five miles a day. He didn't seem

like a dementia type.

Still, with the big age difference, you didn't think in 20, 30 years... I wasn't

doing the math!

In my study.

Oh. Oh, hello, darling.

How was... Listen to me. You're going to write your book immediately.

Screw the big publishers. They just do celebrity crap anyway. I told you, I'm

not self -publishing. It's demeaning.

Don't worry about that part. You just need to start working, writing every

I'm even going to get you a research assistant. I mean, I am. I did.

I already did. Um, this is Henry Brilliant.

Third year PhD student of American... History.

History. Mr. Rand, it's such an honor. I'm actually writing my doctoral thesis

right now on the Nixon administration. Yeah, yeah, yeah, later. Can I just...

Later, later. Tell him about the thesis.

What's gotten into you?

I love you so much, Warren.

So much.

Please, please trust me.

You just have to get that fantastic mind of yours working again and write the

book. Now, write the book.

I'm begging you.

Doesn't matter how good you are, you've got to be inside the clubs playing live

six, seven nights a week.

Stop eating so fast. Playing your own stuff, singing back up, watching,

learning. Can you at least swallow?

You're 45 minutes late. I've got to get to work.

I did an open mic a few weeks ago.

Oh, well, why do you say so?

Oh, because it was degrading, Dad.

The club owner was putting off this vibe the whole time.

You don't exist anymore, bitch. We own you now. And I so badly wanted to say

will never own me, asshole.

But I couldn't say that. Because he didn't say the first part? No, because I

really wanted the spot.

And I had to grovel to some slimy fuckhead to get it.

Oh, well, why don't you just show him your golden ticket to the stars?

Why do you have to diminish me?

Well, stop saying stupid shit, and I won't diminish you.

Come on, Sammy.

All of these guys are slimy fuckheads. That is a given. You are so...

Goddamn good. Show him!

Show him.

What are you so scared of?

What is this?

Nothing you would be interested in. Unless you got high from peeing fast,

at this point I think I might. Okay, seriously, Dad, why are you taking

My prostate is enlarged. From what?

From eating pastrami. How the hell should I know?

I got the name of a urologist. I'll go when I got time. You need to make time.

Proxy cancer is very dangerous. I'm aware that cancer is dangerous.

Thank you. And maybe before you lecture me, you start taking care of yourself,

huh? I am not on drugs, Dad. I do drugs.

There's a difference.

I knew this was such a stupid idea.

No. Wait, wait, wait. Hey, wait. Where are you going? Sit down. And I'm not

fucking scared. I don't know why you say those things to me.

Take your dog.

Mr.

Ochefsky?

I gotta tell you, I'm impressed. Nurse, take my fluids. Fifteen minutes later,

you're looking at the results.

That's the operation you got here.

So, uh, these tests, would they say if I had one?

I mean, would they tell you if it was like a can? What?

What? Your birthday.

What about it? Same as mine.

December 24th. Same year, too, which we will not mention, but wow.

Okay. Jesus.

So crazy.

Hey, when you were a kid, did you get cheated out of Christmas presents

your birthday was so close?

One year, I got a Barbie dream house for both.

Combined. That was it.

Do I have kids?

Oh, sorry.

These cats can't tell me that.

But let's not jump ahead. I'll examine you first, and then we'll talk about

everything in my office.

Is that normal? I mean, for a female doctor to... Male gynecologists treat

women, right?

You go to a male gynecologist?

No.

Right here.

Hey, you know what it's called when two people are born on the same day?

Connect.

Fun fact.

This story, your discovery of Nixon's taping system, Hugely important addition

to the historical record.

So cool that you finally decided to write a book.

I've never had the time.

Now, nothing but.

Okay, I'm ready. Let's talk about the monumental events of June 1973.

June 23rd, John Dean testifies in front of your committee implicating Haldeman

Mitchell and, of course, Nixon in a conspiracy to obstruct justice.

Oh, it was beautiful.

As was Dean's wife.

Very attractive woman.

Right.

And then a couple weeks later, Nixon's attorney, Fred Buzzard, sends a letter

your committee, which I printed out for you.

Ah.

So what was your reaction to seeing this letter on that fateful day? Tell me

what came next in the room where it happened.

Well, this letter is a cataclysm.

He accuses Dean of perjury. He insists he was outright lying about what was

at those Oval Office meetings.

He goes on to provide detailed accounts of those meetings, which contradict

Dean's version with quotes.

Uh -huh.

Verbatim quotes from those meetings.

Where do these quotes come from, Henry?

Huh? Do you want a Nixon thug scribble down every word like some senno girl?

I think not. Don't you see?

But that gives away the entire game right here. The meetings were taped,

They were tapes.

Oh, uh, uh, where are you going?

This is Sam Irvin at the Capitol.

We have subpoenas to issue.

Okay, but that's my jacket, actually.

Okay, you have a pretty angry prostatitis going on.

Bacterial infection.

Maybe it's the whole story, maybe not. Won't know till it's gone.

I'm giving you a super -duper antibiotic.

Start tonight, please.

Stay on the Flomax. Okay.

And come back and see me in a month. Okay, but today I'm feeling great in a

month. Do I have to come back?

Do you have to come back?

Yeah, I mean, I'm peeing gangbusters like I'm 16 again. Like, shoo!

That's not gonna happen.

And yeah, you have to come back.

Let's do this right, Mr.

Osheski?

Osheski. Yeah, see, the thing is that my insurance doesn't really travel to

Fancy Town.

You know, I was going to pay cash today, but I can't afford to keep coming back.

I can't. Oh, okay.

Let's do a friends and family rate.

Just the base co -pay. Does that work?

What? No.

That's like...

Charity. No. My husband and I might not be alive right now if it wasn't for you,

Officer Oshansky.

No, that's Irish.

Yeah, look, I appreciate it, but... Let me help you with this, Dan.

Okay? Let me help you.

Okay. Good. Thank you.

Good. I'll see you in a month. Yeah, and, uh, hey, you know, I work nights.

got my cell, so if anything's got you squirrely...

Strange noise, drunk kids on motorbikes. He'd just shoot me a text, I would zip

right over and check it out. That's so nice. Thank you.

It's my job.

Left and a left.

Henry, why?

I thought you were leaving for... I know, I know. I just... Mr. Rand, your

husband, he got confused.

He left the house.

To go where?

Washington, D .C., the nation's capital.

Is he there now? No, no. I got him back inside. I pretended to be Sam Irvin.

And that worked?

I actually do a very good impression.

Warren, let's do our lawyer work in here.

All right. Listen, I think you might need...

I don't want to say this the wrong way, but like a nurse.

Not a nurse, but like an attendant.

You're definitely saying it the wrong way.

Sorry. It's fine. I know this must be hard for you, so I'll go. You can just

Venmo me.

We'll figure something out.

I guess I'm lame.

Hope you're good, Sam.

I love you.

Warren, have you noticed this beat -up car right in front?

Olds Cutlass.

My secretary at the firm. Used to drive one of those.

Melody something or other. It's been sitting in front of our house for two

Melinda, something or other. Melinda, that's it.

Don't worry. I'll set the alarm.

No, I set it.

I set the shit out of it.

So, so what do you think? Someone abandoned their car in front of my

That would really creep me out. Like finding a dead body or something.

He's an Uber driver.

How do you know?

Receipt from a ride share place on the seat. He leaves his regular car here,

takes a bus down to Bay Ridge, rent an Escalade or whatever.

Why does he park here?

Well, if he's working a couple of days straight, he knows that around here he's

less likely to get a ticket or...

Get jacked. People drive Ubers for two days straight?

Yeah, if they got another job the other five, sure.

It's rough out there.

Wow. Now I feel bad for calling you. No.

No, it's definitely worth checking out.

That's why they pay me the big bucks.

And get that doorbell camera.

Oh, right. Yeah.

Sorry. How do I even... Who installs those?

Me. I'll text you which one to get.

You let me know when it comes, then I'll hook her up.

Really? Thanks. Yeah, you'll be in good shape with that, plus the loud dog. Oh,

yeah, Dodger.

He's the best.

Dodger.

Nice name.

Thank you. Thank you.

Do you have a dog?

Me? Uh, yeah, sort of, I guess.

Sort of? Yeah, my kid rescued a mutt, left it with me one day, won't take it

back, so I guess I have a dog.

Well, it's good that you do.

It's important.

Whenever I'm... sad or upset, Dodger ambles over and he flops down at my lap

soothes me. He really, really soothes me.

Does yours?

Not at all. He paces, wine, pretty sure he'd smoke cigarettes if he could. Oh,

poor thing. Was he abused?

I certainly hope so. Otherwise, he's got no excuse for that shit.

Oh, watch out.

Anyway, so... I'm freezing. Yeah, go, go. Go inside. Yes, I will.

Thank you, officer. You're very good at your job.

Hey, right back at you, doc. You take care of me, I'll take care of you, huh?

Oh, sounds like a win -win relationship.

My first ever.

Good night.

Good night.

So... So, Pramila, it's the basic stuff I'm sure you've done before.

Getting him his meals and taking him for a walk.

Okay. Also, I don't really want him driving anymore, so, you know, taking

the doctor and running errands. Okay. And also, this is a little off the

trail. I need you to pretend you're a Ph .D. student in American history.

Okay. Here to help him write a book about the 1973 Senate Watergate

Okay.

He's not delusional or anything.

I mean, he was there. Assistant Chief Counsel.

Taught it to law school. She was a big deal. I Googled him.

Yeah. And I get it. Right now, we're supporting the transition

that he's going through.

Yeah, that's... Yeah.

Funny story.

I once took care of a woman and had to pretend I was her husband.

And her husband was alive and in the room quite a bit, so you can imagine.

I can't at all, no.

You're a night shift guy. I had to do that for a year when I was a resident.

You like it?

I do.

Sometimes I go two, three days without talking to another human. That's

You never had that luxury in the ER.

When someone walks in with a knife in their neck, you pretty much have to have

conversation. Oh, one -sided, I'm guessing.

Cynthia, what's taking so long?

I'm making tea!

the roof off that place. But they gave first prize to some dipshit baton

twirler. I'm still pissed. No, seriously, Stan. She's unique. And so

Like her mom. Luckily, I didn't pollute the gene pool too much.

She want to sing professionally?

Yeah, but nothing yet.

Blames the world.

Mostly me.

I'm around a lot of young people at work. They can be touchy. Thank you.

They think all standard bullshit in life is an insult to them personally.

My parents accepted no finger pointing. If I failed at something, it was on me.

Luckily, I never did.

Well, I failed all the time, and I didn't get to point shit.

Life's tough, kid.

Suck it up. Geez, I'm glad no one else is reading this.

A mob of 20 -somethings would be pounding down our door.

Waving torches and demanding to charge their cell phones.

You said Sammy blames you.

For what, if I may ask?

Shit.

Oh God.

Give me some bubbles.

Shit, see ya!

Lord of Doom with my tea, please.

I'm sorry. We can't take Canadian money.

Hey, can I talk to you for a second?

Order something.

Yeah, give me a half -cap, grande, venti, coffeato.

So, I showed your tape to this lady last night. Really cool, educated lady.

Blown away. Was she an agent?

A booker?

Urologist. But her reaction got me jazzed, so I started asking around at

and I found this guy was a drummer on the side, and he gave me the name of

clubs that he says are well -run, quality owners. No bullshit.

Or less bullshit. Anyway.

Come on, kid.

Push.

It's out there.

And room for cream.

On the bottom.

Shame about that first young fellow who was helping me write.

Emergency neck surgery?

Sounds like no fun.

Oh, jeez. Ouch.

You didn't know?

I thought you were both in the same Ph .D. program.

Um, we are, but we don't have a lot of classes together.

Just, uh, gym.

Uh, we were looking at the buzzard letter.

Can't seem to find it right now. I'm drowning in all this crap here.

Ah, we exposed the crimes of a sitting president.

It's the 59 Millrose Games, Madison Square Garden.

Yours truly, second from left.

Wow, amazing.

You remember it well?

I can still smell that place.

It smelled like elephant shit.

The circus was in town at the garden.

Tell me what else you remember.

I'd never run on a wooden track before.

The sound of it, wow, like explosions.

Trovo was striking those boards.

Like tribal drum music.

In the final 200, that drum beat turned into a goddamn frenzy.

What were you feeling?

Pain.

Goddamn agony.

Legs cramping, lungs burning.

Well, that's the whole raison d 'etre of distance racing, you see.

Deplete the body.

And see what you can do on sheer will.

So, what happened?

Got any kids?

As in sprung from my loin?

No. But I do have a stepdaughter named Rosemary.

You close?

It's been a tricky relationship.

I'm only 12 years older.

Plus, she hates my guts.

For marrying Daddy?

For marrying Daddy, for moving into her childhood home.

Which was not my choice, by the way. It was supposed to be only a few months

while we house hunted.

It's now been 300 months.

As long as we're on the messy stuff.

Want to tell me about your ex -wife?

Moody, paranoid, poorly suited to relationships.

Same as me. Amazed we couldn't make it work.

Still in touch with her?

Only by voodoo dolls.

Remember

now?

Vaguely. She played identical twins, right?

Cousins. Identical cousins. Good God, man. Listen to the lyrics.

Different as night and day. Got it. You have to understand.

This show rocked my world.

I was raised to be like Kathy. Very proper and conventional.

But inside, I felt like Patty.

Just a kook, you know?

So, uh, they ever make out?

Tudor Turtle?

Tudor was a maniac.

Always wanted to do dangerous shit.

Be a gladiator, a paratrooper, a bullfighter. So he'd go to his friend

Wizard and say, make me a bullfighter. Mr. Wizard would do a magic chant and

bam, Tudor's a bullfighter. He's in the ring, he's got the whole outfit, doing

great, crowd loves him, but then everything starts unraveling. He's about

the shit kicked out of him. He screams, help me Mr. Wizard, I don't want to be a

bullfighter. So Mr. Wizard does another chant.

Drizzle, drizzle, drizzle, drone. Time for this one to come home. And he yanks

Tudor out of trouble at the last possible second.

The same thing. Every episode.

Stupid decision.

Turns to shit.

Saved by Mr. Wizard.

Exactly like my own life.

Except no Mr. Wizard.

You ever want to have your own kids? You ever try?

Deep down, I never wanted children.

But I thought that was a shameful character flaw I had to hide from the

got a few of those.

So I did get pregnant, basically to please my mother.

But then I miscarried and needed an emergency hysterectomy. So it all worked

out. Kind of, yeah.

Sammy was 12 when the marriage blew up. It was a rough time. I went west. I

didn't see her for two years.

Two years? I know. I fucked up. You didn't need to use the all -cap.

Sorry. So...

Have you two talked about it since then?

No. No?

Stop with the caps, please. Sorry.

What do you mean, ever? Yeah.

Scotch. Airplane glue.

Valium. Wellbutrin. White wine.

Klonopin. LSD.

Blackstapro. Zoloft.

Adderall. Rose Act.

Truckloads of weed.

Lately, a lot of ad film.

Who was your favorite Beatle?

Deepest.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

you are hot.

You're looking at one angry, self -destructive misfit right there.

Well, you rocked angry and self -destructive, let me tell you.

Wow.

Send me yours.

What, my mugshot?

Whatever, a high school picture, something fair is fair.

No, it's not fair at all. I'm sorry, but I was not what you would call a pretty

girl. Well, you're pretty now, so you must have been somewhat.

Well, whatever I had then was totally mismanaged.

You remember that song?

Voulez -vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

Lady Marmalade, I used to stand in front of the mirror and do the bump with

myself. That was a Saturday night.

Still waiting on that photo.

All right.

Nice knowing you.

Did it come through?

Yes.

Okay, this is humiliating. I'm hanging up. Sorry.

Wow.

You look very smart. Hanging up. No, no, no, no, no.

Look,

I definitely would have sought you out.

What, to do your homework?

I didn't give a fuck about that.

What, that to date? You were to meet smart girls like a fetish? There was

Rhonda Melnick, Cantor's daughter, struggled with her weight. We had a nice

thing for a while.

Talk on the phone after her parents had gone to sleep about all kinds of shit.

Books.

Movies.

I remember we both loved Raymond Carver.

She was the first person to ever call me intelligent.

You're very intelligent, Stanley.

Hey, you're the second.

Thanks, Cynthia.

Coming from you, that means a lot.

So, how did the thing with the Cantor's daughter finally end?

Abruptly.

One day, her dad walked in on us in his study. Having sex?

The variety usually referred to with a two -digit number draped in his prayer

shawl. Oh, my God!

That was the time when I really could have used Mr. Wizard.

Okay, wait. This thing is instead of our old doorbell?

Are you very attached to your doorbell? I hated it, actually.

How goes it?

Pretty much done, Mr. Rand.

Oh, remind me your name, please, son.

Oshefsky. Stan Oshefsky. Oh.

How many pull locks does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Pull lock joke.

Three. One to hold the bulb and two to turn the ladder. I love that.

He knows.

What do we owe you for your fine service, Mr.

Oshavsky? Oh, no, no, nothing, sir. It's good to do a little work in the fresh

air. Well, then, Cynthia, sounds like we need to buy this man a steak dinner.

How's Thursday night?

No, no, no. You don't have to do that. No, indeed we do.

And bring the missus. I'm married.

Well, then bring your best girl.

God knows you don't want to stare at the two of us the whole time.

Let's make a night of it.

Okay.

Okay.

Pretty cool, right?

Yes. I've been on it for two hours. This thing is addictive.

Watched a family on bikes screaming at each other. Little girl threw her

Wildly entertaining.

And you can rewatch it anytime.

Hey, are you sure you're okay doing that dinner Thursday?

I know Warren put you on the spot.

Big old steak?

Hell yes, I'm okay.

There was a name I gave him. Oh, yeah, no, you did, you did. Yeah. It was just

little, just a little bit late. I need the address.

No, it's fine.

Hey.

So sorry we're late.

Warren, Cynthia, this is CJ.

Hi, it's so nice to meet you both.

Hi, it's Jay.

What was the name? CJ.

Indian. No, like CJ, the letters, the initials. Ah, oh, like Y -A, Tittle.

I don't know what you just said.

New York Giants.

Great quarterback.

He knows.

Still random.

Sit, sit.

How about we get some drinks going? I feel like we're behind.

Waiter!

a handcuff to a drainpipe is not the way that I wanted to lose my virginity. My

first time was in a Newport News whorehouse, and the

prostitute told me I reminded her of her grandson.

That's a home run right there.

Well,

I lost mine at 15 to my 13 -year -old cousin, and as you might

imagine, it was...

Magical. Cynthia?

Okay.

I was 22.

I was with my boyfriend, a med school classmate in his room.

You really must learn to embellish, Cynthia.

It's what happened.

He lit a candle. That help?

Well, kid, if you'll excuse me, I have to use the little boy's room. That's

my curse these days.

Excuse me.

So fucking sexy.

Rugged. A man's man.

Well, actually, I identify as a mermaid.

Okay, fine.

Oh, you're still waiting.

Yeah, hey.

I was going to use this one, but a tiny female pulled the rank.

Usually single toilets are for anybody these days.

Well, I guess some places still adhere to the traditional belief that... Men

disgusting.

So, CJ, she seems great.

Yeah. Fun, lively, and very mature, considering her brief number of years on

this earth, which is, what, 30? Nearly.

Oh, still in her 20s.

Yeah, you know what I say.

So what? So what?

Yeah, honestly, the main thing. I'm just happy to find out you're not lonely

after all.

Lonely? No.

I mean, you said you were lonely in a text like a week or two. Hey, whatever.

Point is, you're not lonely in that it's fantastic.

You two are speaking very...

This is just like the night we met, remember?

Stop speaking, please.

Eventually, we pieced together all the evidence and made an irrefutable case

that Nixon had violated his oath of office and the trust of a nation.

Well, then what happened?

He resigned.

No.

Can I just say one thing? Nope. I find it very odd that after having shared

personal things with each other over the past few weeks, like my menopause, I

would have hoped we'd developed a degree of trust and mutuality, and yet somehow

you never thought to mention... Stop talking!

I still have a tattoo, baby girlfriend!

Holy shit, she's not my girlfriend.

We're just having a good time. It's not a serious thing. Oh, you might want to

tell her that. Tell her what?

You think she wants to get married?

You think she wants to be wiping oatmeal out of my beard in 20 years? She's not

doing the math. Can I please take a goddamn whiz? Who's stopping you?

You know what I think?

Uh -huh.

I think you're not really mad at me. I think you're mad at yourself.

Oh, fascinating. Thank you, Dr. Young.

When you were her age, you had the exact same daddy as she. Yes, I know what you

meant. Totally different situation. But while we're on the subject of

unconscious motivation, maybe you should examine why you completely avoided the

CJ topic with me.

Think about that and get back to me.

Now go resume your four -hour attempt to urinate.

That is a very unprofessional comment.

Too bad. I'm off the clock.

Okay.

For starters, I had too much to drink. That needs to be factored in. Because,

honestly, I think it's fine.

You can date whoever the hell you... I was just taken aback by her

young...ness. Just called for my lab results.

Told you to call today.

I did.

I have it right here. Need it? Oh, Yolanda.

Still on the line. Nope. Thanks. I got it.

Okay.

PSA 6.

Better. Um, not great, but better.

Stay the course.

Thank you.

Okay, that was fucking funny.

You hate it?

Do you think it's corny? No, no, no, no, no.

It's cool.

I just wonder if maybe you might try with just a little bit more tempo. Give

kind of like a groove.

Really? Let me try it higher. Try it, try it, try it.

Great. It's weird, but in a good way, like you.

It's you. It's great.

Oh, I'm fucking terrified.

But, you know, I'm gonna make a demo and send it around.

Yeah.

Okay.

Shit, I gotta go.

You're welcome.

Thanks, Daddy.

Hey, Finn.

Can I talk to you for a second?

What?

Yeah, it's not a big deal or anything.

You know, I just wanted to say that, um... What? I gotta go. Hey.

I made a big mistake, Sammy.

Going to Colorado.

I mean, I should have stayed here for you, no matter what else was... But, you

know, I gave in to my own stupid, hurt feelings, and I hurt you in the process.

I mean, you're the only person in the world...

I'm sorry.

I love you.

It's a great song.

Cynthia!

Rosemary, right here. Oh, hi. I didn't see you there.

Where's the turkey baster? When I was a kid, it was always in this drawer.

Oh, shoot. I don't think we have one.

Don't worry. It's fine.

Luckily, I packed one.

Yeah! Yes!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Green Bay's about to score, so... I had no idea you were a Packers fan.

I'm not. I'm a fan of making the 40 -point over.

Listen, you can watch and warrant study if you wanted. Oh, yeah, no, that's

okay. Rosemary wants me to be here so I can, you know, socialize. Goddamn, you

kept that ball!

Grandpa,

want to play checkers?

Sure I do.

How do you play?

Mom, Grandpa forgot how to play checkers.

Well, Grandpa didn't forget. He's just a little tired right now. Maybe Grandma

Cynthia wants to play.

Will you join your children, please?

Yes. Yes.

Oh, so good to see you, Popsie.

We're moving to Cleveland soon for Rob's new job.

Remember? We'll be closer.

I want to stay in Phoenix.

Oh, Cleveland's beautiful. Remember we looked at the picture of the big lake?

I hate lakes.

Nobody hates lakes.

Dad! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Last second field goal.

Fuck me with the crowbar.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, Cynthia. My dad has slid so far since last time. Yes, he

Like a different person.

I hate not being nearby.

Well, when you guys are settled in Cleveland, just a quick right away,

I mean, you could... Oh.

Are you okay?

We were sitting in the kitchen. He asked me, when is your mother getting here?

He was alive.

Oh, that's hard.

What did you say?

I said 4 .30.

You gave him a time?

I know. I guess I got lost in the fantasy, too.

The three of us were together again.

Okay.

Look, I wanted to talk to you about how best to handle his

situation going forward.

Sure. I mean, um, things are stable at the moment. I've got Pramila here every

day. He adores her. I think he should be in Cleveland.

What? There's a wonderful facility ten minutes from our new house called the

Arbors. I went there for my friend's mother's 90th. I loved it. They had a

pinata. Okay, well, wait a minute. What are you even saying?

Cleveland? Cynthia, this makes sense.

Zizi declines. He'll need family around. Don't you agree?

Well, I...

I like to think of myself as family. You have him with a stranger all day. You

just said it yourself.

I work. I have a job. Well, that's exactly why this makes sense. I can be

him every day because I don't work. And the boys can visit him after school.

They're not going to do that. And you can fly out on the weekends. Rosemary,

we're not going anywhere right now.

I need to think this through and see how things develop. Of course.

This is just for when the time comes.

Although... We do need to visit the place right away to get on the waiting

so I've arranged a tour a week from Saturday.

Just so we're ready when the time comes.

When the time comes. Stop saying that.

Hey,

what's up?

Hey, um, do I maybe have a gig at one of those places that your friend told you

about? Maybe.

Maybe, maybe. I don't know. I sent the owner my demo, and he liked it, and he

said he wanted to meet me.

Um, can you come down here?

One, two, three, four!

Hey!

We used to sing!

Thank you. I assume that's a compliment.

Hi.

Thursday night, they got a good crowd for her. Two sets, 200.

That's that.

Sounds great.

Right there.

There's no stage.

No riser.

I got no riser. Yeah, I mean, a lot of clubs, though.

Dad, there should be a riser.

Not just for proper staging, but out of respect for the artist.

I mean, the people are right there.

Dad, look.

Hey. Can you get a riser?

No, is she going to do it?

Yes, she'll do it.

Just put all the small people up front.

Sammy.

Sammy. Hey, Padron, huh?

My greatest adventure!

Are you serious?

Are you really going to walk away from this over a fucking riser? I don't feel

comfortable thinking from the floor. I can't help it. So fight it. Fight. Face

your fears. That's how you get better.

I don't need you to tell me that.

That's not what I need from you.

You know, you dump this emotionally manipulative bullshit on me. I know

so sorry that you vanished for two fucking years and you don't mean it.

If you meant it, you would support me at least one goddamn time. What? When you

sabotage yourself, would you bail because something rubs up against your

sensitive feelings again?

Yes. No, no, no.

I can't support that.

That's what I do.

And look what happened.

Here's where that ends up, okay?

I'm nowhere.

I'm nothing.

You're my father.

At least be that.

Shit.

Yeah, just go on. I'm stretching, brother. For real. Where the fuck are

Yeah, I'll... Hang on, hang on.

Sammy!

Are you kidding me?

What do you want me to say?

Howell has the flu.

Now, Maxwell's sneezing. I can't leave sick children with just Rob.

Why didn't you tell me sooner? Rosemary, we could have rescheduled.

What's the difference? I've been to the Arbors. I love it. You're the one who

has to be satisfied.

Rosemary. Honestly, Cynthia, this is a blessing in disguise. Seeing it alone

will give you a chance to really explore. Okay, stop.

You've won the most passive -aggressive person on Earth award.

Move on.

God. Jimmy.

Ridiculous.

What now?

Rosemary's not coming. Her stupid kids are sick, and now I'm in Cleveland, and

have to go to that place by myself.

tomorrow. This is bullshit.

I want my dog.

Pramila took Warren to the movies. Just put the mail in the planner, thanks.

Ugh.

Taxi! No, thank you. I ordered an Uber. Thanks.

I don't... I don't... I don't even know what to say.

But you did this. I drove all night.

I drive all night every night.

I just went in a straight line this time.

Crazy.

Capacity is 175. We're at about 150 right now.

This part of our facility is dedicated to our assisted living residents,

that may need some minimal care but are essentially self -sufficient.

Very nice.

Hi, Diane.

Oh, hello.

This is our memory care neighborhood. This is where your husband would reside.

Here is our main activity room. Very spacious, as you can see.

And perfect timing on your visit. Here is our regular Saturday morning bingo

game.

N41.

That lucky for anyone?

Jerry, don't think I haven't noticed your hair? Daddy does such a wonderful

The residents absolutely adore her.

And she brings the best snacks.

This week, she brought homemade Christmas cookies.

Alice?

Oh, mm -mm. Nope. Every day, our residents play games, do art projects,

whatever physical exercise they can tolerate.

We strive to keep their bodies and minds active and engaged.

So they can get better and go home?

Hey.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh,

yes, I will.

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Could this possibly be what awaits the great Warren Rand?

Connect the dots and bingo?

The man wrote federal housing legislation.

A brilliant innovator, always figuring out ways to help people.

It was thrilling to ride shotgun with a man like that.

Now the bastard's leaving to just me again.

And me is just... Nothing to show for my stupid life.

Oh, come on.

Come on, yourself.

You. You made a beautiful child.

I never even made one of those.

What's going on?

Wedding.

Wanna be my plus one?

A wedding?

I'm a urologist.

Oh, Sam, look. Come on. They're checking in the patient.

It's ridiculous.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Hey.

Hi. How you doing? Yeah.

You're like Doc and Rose in Titanic.

Good analogy.

This is a wedding, okay?

And if you attend someone's wedding uninvited, you should look like a human

being. Okay?

Let's at least do this.

Okay? Thank you.

Hey,

how you doing? Love that jacket. We just got in from Dodge City. I love what

you've done with the place. Oh, it's such a lovely place.

Hey, hey, look at that.

Alcohol.

Yeah, best thing for that is a heating pad and cranberry juice. You'll be fine

by the honeymoon.

Your standard quarter. Nothing special. See? Blow on that.

Whoop. Disappear. Oh. It's in your sleeve.

Ours is a bloody shambles.

Shambles? Oh, I don't know, honey. That's a bit strong. Maybe.

But these two, they have as much a chance to make it as anyone.

Which is 50 -50.

Pick them.

Lady Mommalade.

They're playing Lady Mommalade. That's my bonus song. You ever done it with a

real person?

Not yet.

You wanna give it a go?

It's been a relaxing time. Really. Thank you so much.

Okay, okay, no, no, no, no. That's not, um, just, just, just, just, just tell me

the readings when you first got to the ER.

Right.

Okay.

Pramula, he's stable.

That's a 7 .30 flight.

I'm on my way.

We're going to bring you into the house a lot. Okay?

Oh,

Pramila, I'm so sorry. I had no idea you were waiting down here.

No, it's fine.

I hit some of the Kegel.

It's Kegel.

How's he doing?

Oh, he's better.

It took a while to get him settled up there.

Oh, that man is as tough as nails, but this stroke, wow.

I know you must be exhausted, but I wanted to talk to you for just a moment

regarding my work here. Oh, I'm sorry. I haven't even had a second to think

about it.

And from now on, he's going to need, you know, nursing care.

Oh, no, no, no. I figured all of that.

I meant with the book.

The book.

The book.

Your husband's book. You were actually working on the book?

I recorded everything he said.

I transcribed it and I edited it.

A book.

What, about Watergate?

Sometimes it's not a history book, it's just a book.

Can I have this?

Hey, sorry to keep you waiting. Yeah, no problem.

I thought we were going to do an exam like usual, but they brought me right in

here. Yeah, I thought we should discuss... Hey, how's Warren?

He's, um... So -so. It was a bad stroke.

Thanks for asking.

Yeah, I mean, I didn't want to text.

Anyway, just give my bus, will you? I will. I will. I will.

Okay, down to business.

I'm just warning very late today.

Okay. Okay.

It's looking like the infection is gone. That's good. Yeah, peeing better for

sure. Not going to win a state fair, but... Yeah, PSA is still high, though.

is still high.

Okay. The next step in the protocol would be a biopsy, Dan.

I'm not saying it's urgently called for, but I certainly would recommend it at

this point, just to get a clear answer on that issue.

Wow.

Okay. Sure. Let's do it.

Actually, my partner, Dr. Caseman, is going to do the procedure.

He's wonderful.

Oh, but I mean, you're going to be there, though, right?

Uh, I won't be at the procedure, no. No.

Are you still my doctor?

You know, I really think it would be best if Dr. Caseman took over at this

point. Same financial arrangement we had.

He's the best. Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Is this because of Cleveland?

I mean, that doesn't mean you can't be my doctor, does it?

Actually, it does.

It's an ethics issue.

Ethics? Come on, it was one night of partying. Never happened, honestly.

I can't even remember. Cleveland, where's that? I've never been.

Dr. King... Don't fuck him!

And fuck you!

That's quite a nifty one -two punch you hit me with this afternoon.

Listen, Stan, I'm sorry. Clearly this is a shitty situation.

We became friends, close friends.

And that was...

Wonderful, but I let it get too far, and I take full responsibility for that.

Oh, do you? Okay, well, sure, because I had no say in it, right? I'm just your

hot guy in a uniform doll by Mattel. Oh, my God, you never got over that stupid

thing. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter!

Okay, Cynthia?

Because I am out of your life right now, as per your wishes. Now, maybe you meet

a cute furnace guy and start a whole new thing, huh? And you know what? I can

take responsibility for my own fuck -ups. Thank you. I've had a lot more

practice than you.

Thank you.

riser.

Fuck you

That was for my dad.

You know,

they do make inflatable ones.

Another option.

No way, man.

They're just gonna steal them, take them home, do all kinds of sick shit to

them.

You know what I'm talking about.

Excuse me.

You know, it's funny.

When you fall in love with someone, whatever it is that draws you to

them, whatever they represent to you at that moment, it gets kind of locked in.

And that's who they are forever.

To me, Warren was strength.

I know it's not a very feminist thing to say, but Warren made me feel safe.

Sorry, it's true.

I loved Warren's strength.

I relied on his strength. So when that strength began to fade, when his

body and mind stopped being what they once were, I felt abandoned.

I felt angry.

I'm not proud of that, but it's what I felt.

Pramila Mahesh knew Warren only at the end, and what a gift, because Pramila,

without any expectations, listened to Warren in a way that

I'd stop listening.

And bless her, she recorded his words and made this remarkable book that I

even begin to describe what reading this book has opened up for me.

I mean, I knew most of the stories already. I knew that he ran in the Mill

Games when he was 19.

It was part of his legend.

But he wasn't a legend.

Not then.

He was a boy.

A boy who wanted to win that race so much, who ran so hard, who took the lead

with a lap to go, and lost.

His second plane trip, the one back home, was spent in the back row in

One night about a week ago, I got into bed and Warren woke up for a moment

and looked at me.

And there he was, the boy.

I saw in his eyes the pain that he was... Feeling at age 19, and now again,

65 years later, the pain of falling short of what he wanted

to be.

And in that moment, I loved the great Warren Rand more fully than I'd ever

him before.

And I'm so glad I got to do that before he left.

Warren? I'm home.

Warren?

Warren, honey?

Oh, you're still here.

I, uh... I wanted to know what it feels like not to hear

a Manther.

How's it feel?

I feel like I let him down, Stan.

I mean, he was being honest, totally honest. Would he say I was a good wife?

Would he say I was there for him in the way he needed all these years? I don't

know. I... I truly

do not know.

Help me, Mr. Wizard.

I took Sammy camping once up in the mountains. She was

like 10 or so.

And she didn't want to go.

But I said, we're going.

We're going to have a great time, so shut the fuck up.

Such was my sensitive parenting style.

And so we go.

She won't stop complaining.

It's cold.

The food's gross.

It's raining really hard. It wasn't even raining that hard.

It wasn't for the big hole in the tent she never would have noticed.

And then she starts complaining that her ears hurt.

because of the altitude, and I remember that her mom used peroxide for that, so

I get some out of the first aid, and I tilt her head to the side, and I pour a

capful in one of her ears, which, as it turns out, is way too much, and most of

it rolls out down right into her eye, and she starts screaming, screams, oh,

God help me, I'm being burned alive, Variety.

So now I'm thinking, holy shit, did I just blind my kid?

The nearest hospital is like two hours away. We're in the Adirondacks.

So to get some sense of the damage, I take, and I'm not defending

this move, mind you.

I take a capful of the peroxide, and I'm not defending this, pour it into my own

eye to see how bad it really is.

Turns out, very bad, like sulfuric acid.

So now I'm thinking, I do need to get her to a hospital, not to mention

So I scoop her up in her pajamas, but I'm half blind. I'm running towards the

car, and I don't see the picnic table at the exact height of my balls.

I feel like you're getting ahead of the story.

But yeah.

I go slamming into the picnic table. Sammy goes flying. She lands in a big

of mud. I'm grabbing my gonads, keeled over next to her.

And there we are in the mud, cold, wet,

eyes burning.

And the only thing I can think of to say to her is, I'm sorry, Sammy.

This muddy, squinty face.

And she says, it's okay, Dad.

You're doing the best you can.

And a definitely backhanded compliment, given the circumstances.

But still, for some reason, she chose

that moment of all moments.

To let me be human.

Mr. Wizard.

And happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

what you're gonna do with your life you know you gotta do it soon and you gotta

do it right well i get it i got it i understand can't screw up cause you got

chance

you can't throw your best believer put your hands up you're a dreamer i'm

gonna

be all right

Good night.