Original subtitles

From our eye in the sky we are seeing

unprecedented traffic chaos across the capital.

According to eyewitnesses, several cars ground to a halt,

their engines bursting into flames.

Injuries are reported but no fatalities as yet.

The areas around the vehicles are experiencing severe gridlock

which is hampering the response of emergency services.

There is no word on what caused this.

Take Ho down to interrogation cell eight.

- The fright cube? - Yep.

I know my rights. I need to talk to my dad's lawyer.

You don't get any phone calls.

And if you did, you're better off calling the dry cleaner

and a dentist.

Why am I getting my updates on burning cars from the news?

Apologies, ma'am.

We've been waiting until we know for sure what happened.

- And do you? - Well, we've ruled out terror.

They weren't car bombs.

It seems a chemical in the fuel caused the engines to seize up and overheat.

And what are the fuel companies saying?

Denying liability. Claiming sabotage.

First Desk is looking into how and where it might have taken place.

Is he?

I don't understand…

Why are there still all these burning cars on the roads?

The police can't move them until the flames are out

and the firefighters can't get in there until the gridlock eases.

Yeah, but then…

Excuse me. Sorry.

Whelan.

We met on your jog.

Do you have an official comment on the story

we're going to run for Dodie Gimball's column?

You shouldn't have this phone number. How dare you?

There will be repercussions, I promise you that.

The repercussions are on you.

If you weren't so busy chasing skirt

maybe we wouldn't have shootings and gridlock.

Is this traffic situation contained?

Yeah, about ten minutes ago.

I was about to shut down every gas station in London.

- Petrol station. - Petrol… petrol station.

Thankfully we established that all the affected stations

had a delivery from one single tanker.

So, traffic should be back to normal by the end of the day.

The fence at the depot was cut,

so we're assuming that's where the tampering happened.

Likely by climate protestors.

Our London mayor Zafar Jaffrey has issued a statement calling for calm

in the wake of what sources are saying is the result of fuel tampering.

While the emergency services are doing everything they can

to get the roads clear, I would urge people to leave their cars…

Look at them down there, we've driven them crazy.

And what's coming next will drive them even crazier.

How many will it kill?

All of them. It will be a massacre.

The gridlock is focused mainly around those vehicles,

so Muswell Hill, Elephant and Castle, Mile End, and the City.

No fatalities. Although, there is a pensioner in intensive care.

Sorry, why has the explosives unit been stood down?

Well, that would've been nice to know.

So why did the engines explode then?

Well, once the fire is out, get forensics in.

They should be able to tell us what the chemical was

- and where it came from. - What's the plan?

Doesn't help that I'm stuck over here.

The usual.

So, do nothing?

- Yeah. - As long as I know.

Taverner wants them in lockdown while she sweats Ho.

Let me know if the CCTV turns up.

Where's Shirley Dander?

I'd check the downstairs lav.

She'll either be shoveling one up or curling one out.

Phones.

I gave Shirley some money to get us all breakfast.

Not you, I'm afraid.

That was before you arrived.

Hey. Where're you going?

Well… Talking of breakfast made me a bit peckish.

There's fresh cake and crisps downstairs.

Sit down. It sounds like your breakfast is coming.

River?

What? I can't hear you.

- Fuck. - Hey! Watch where you're going!

Come on, stop playing games.

And give me your phone.

Coe, it's a lockdown. Give her your phone.

Hand it over. No comms, this is a lockdown.

- This is a podcast. - I don't care.

Come on, give her your phone, otherwise she's gonna call up

the two Dogs that are in Roddy's office.

Sorry?

I can't hear a fucking thing. I'll see you in a sec.

Why are you being so helpful?

I was just… Occasionally he's not really the most responsive,

but don't know why I bother. Crack on.

You're familiar with the Slough House brief, I assume?

Well, then you'll know that some of us have issues.

Get to the point.

Well, it's just that listening to music--

Podcast.

Listening to music or podcasts has the effect of calming Mr. Coe down.

What happens if he doesn't listen to something?

I'm not sure. We've never prevented him before.

Okay, listen to the damn music. Whatever.

It's a podcast.

Ain't no prison built that can hold me.

The only prison I fear is the prison of the mind.

And I bust out of that years ago.

I am mythical, historical and futuristical.

Roddy Ho is merely the latest incarnation of my most potent energy.

I cannot be created

nor destroyed.

Sir Isaac Newton, motherfuckers.

The only difference between him and me is I don't believe in laws.

I am the law.

How long has he been doing this?

About 20 minutes straight.

What causes that?

Is that a lack of breastfeeding or too much breastfeeding?

Hey, come on.

I'm sure the forest animals that found him did their best.

Alexander the Great. Genghis Khan…

What is going on in here?

Why have you pulled these people off the Hub?

Apologies, ma'am.

His response to the room has been unusual.

Wow.

- Welcome, Clarice. - No, Roddy.

I'm gonna let you sit here quietly for five minutes

and think about this room

and all the things that I can make happen in it if you don't help me.

Okay? See you shortly.

And who are you?

You fucking first.

Room for a little one?

Don't fucking touch me.

For fuck's sake.

What, you just walk in and surrender, did you?

Why didn't you warn me we were swarming with pricks?

I did, I called you.

The whole of London is kicking off.

I couldn't hear you.

All right, well I couldn't hear that you couldn't hear me, could I?

For God's sake, Shirley. You used my money to buy wine?

Yes, see, what I thought was that there'd be that much more for the rest of us.

Well, you can't fault her logic.

You're really gonna start the day with wine?

It's a bit early for spirits, but knock yourself out.

I'm telling you, there's something going on out there.

Total gridlock.

Flyte's up to speed. Maybe she'll deign to share.

There's been an incident at some petrol stations.

Three.

What kind of incidents?

It's Park business.

And babysitting us? Is that Park business as well?

That feels a bit below you.

Number three.

Coe, what is it that you're saying?

On the list.

That I mentioned.

Previously.

The destabilization strategy.

Was trying to allude to it rather than mention it

in front of this unexpected company.

Yeah, well, the main reason not to mention it in front of everyone

is out of sheer embarrassment at the batshit lunacy of it.

Number three is disrupt the transports.

He thinks sinister forces are trying to bring down the country.

Yeah, but it's bollocks.

Doesn't make any sense.

I mean, why and try disrupt London traffic when it is already permanently fucked?

He's gone back in.

So, is that enough of a pattern for it to be a destabilization strategy?

It's not. Why did someone try and kill Roddy?

That's what we should be worrying about.

And why did they try and kill him with the same gun

that executed the Abbotsfield killer?

What? Wait, how'd you know that?

Taverner.

And why are you just telling us that now?

'Cause I've been thinking.

Executed? I thought the Abbotsfield killer killed himself?

Taverner used the word "executed."

And Flyte's not correcting me.

Excuse me?

Couldn't spare me some change, could you? I'm trying to get a hostel.

Have a nice day.

Bad day?

Every day is bad, mate.

Nobody's got any money.

Yeah.

Hard times all around, eh?

I mean they don't have any coins or notes.

Pay for everything on their phones.

Hey.

I got some money for you.

And something I think you want more than money.

Not so fast, bro.

Need you to drop something off first.

Sorry about that.

About what?

Oh, my God.

Fuck.

Fuck me. That's bad.

I really think you should see a doctor.

I think you gave me lung cancer.

Was that a fart?

Yeah, mostly.

I'm not saying I like the sound,

but it does serve as a sort of early warning system.

No, stay in the room! Stay in the room.

- Fucking hell. - I know what you're doing, Lamb.

I'm expelling excess gas.

I mean, it's the most natural thing in the world.

It is completely unnatural.

It's like you've got a pauper's grave in your arsehole.

Fuck me. That's bad.

That's not a good blend of smells. Flowers and shit.

Yeah, you might wanna keep hold of that. I think I hit a seam.

Fuck me, you're up to something.

I-I'm up to my nipples in acid reflux is what I am.

Methinks a Donald's in order.

No, no. Not in there. I don't wanna hear it.

Yeah, I don't wanna breathe it.

Do I have permission to use the downstairs boudoir then?

Please let him go. He fucking reeks.

We're gonna have this baby right here if we're not careful.

- Come on, somebody get some towels. - Okay, yeah go.

Is he like that all the time?

I wouldn't know. I don't normally work weekends.

You know it really stands out, you're ex-Old Bill.

You got a problem with that?

I actually like pigs.

Yeah, you know where you are with the filth.

Yeah, it's totally amoral.

Yeah, slip 'em a fiver, they'll show you a dead body.

I'll show you one now if you're not careful.

Yeah, but that doesn't work, does it?

Because if I was dead, you wouldn't be able to show me my own dead body.

Yeah, this banter stuff's harder than it looks.

Shall I leave it open or are you coming in?

Suit yourself.

If you're looking for the gun in the cistern,

- already dealt with that. - Fuck.

Cistern's the first place I look.

Learned that in the Met actually.

Hello, Martin. You're looking well.

Thanks for dropping by.

Is there a reason we're not in your office?

Lovely day? Lovely view.

And I wanted a legal opinion off the record.

As MI5's legal counsel, I don't really do off the record.

Well, hypothetical.

Hello.

Goodbye. Thank you.

Sorry about that.

As I was saying, hypothetical. Like a parlor game. Kind of.

Say I-I needed a D-Notice put out about someone…

Me. But in a private capacity.

Sounds like you should be talking to your personal lawyer.

I-I'm not sure she's got the heft.

And given how you're the Chief Legal Adviser

to the Security Services, of which I'm in charge,

it seems to me that the needs of the Service and my own are…

are as one.

- Is this security related? - Of course it's fucking…

Look, relax, relax.

Hypothetical.

I'm just anticipating is what I'm doing, and…

given how we're ruffling Gimball's feathers and his wife, he…

You know his wife? Works for that snotty tabloid.

Well, she has a known animus towards me

and there could be some un-underhanded things coming my way.

Unpleasant things. Lies. Scandalous lies.

Well, not scandalous. Just lies, and I… You know…

What the fuck was that?

I-I don't know.

What the hell was that?

Did another car explode?

Is it the petrol stations again?

We don't know. There's a lot of confusing intel right now.

Well, that's hardly an excuse, people. We're MI5.

I need unconfusing intel right bloody now.

Anyone?

Someone's just posted this.

Dear God.

Hurry up!

- You must be finished by now. - A bomb's gone off.

Come on. It's not that bad.

Regent's Park Zoo. I'm heading down there.

I've left Johnson upstairs to watch them.

Keep them in hard lockdown, no comms.

And don't trust or listen to that human fungus.

She wasn't talking about me, was she?

What were you doing in there?

False alarm.

My ring-piece isn't what it was, so I leave a lot to gravity.

You just stayed in there to make me wait?

Well, I left the seat up for ya.

If you need to go.

I know we don't torture people.

I've seen all the internal files on that.

So why don't you just drop the theatrics and come at the king head-on.

Roderick Ho.

Or should I say Clint Wolf?

I have many nom de guerre.

Clint Wolf, dragon slayer, the human tripod, the true king of Gondor.

Occasionally, Ice Monroe.

Do you have any connection with the incel community?

Specifically the Unseen?

Is this your subtle way of asking if the ramrod's getting any?

Full disclosure, I'm a very sexual creature.

Yeah.

Roddy by name, Ho by nature.

I'm the opposite of an involuntary celibate.

Involuntary fuckboy more like.

That's enough of that.

We've been through your phone.

We know all about your relationship with Tara.

Why was she interested in you?

Finest mind and finest body in MI5.

She knew you were in MI5?

Yeah.

You're allowed to tell your spouse.

And she's more than a spouse, she's a soulmate.

Someone tried to murder you last night.

Does this concern you?

Murder is a very strong word.

It's also an entirely accurate description of what happened.

The gun had been used before to execute the Abbotsfield killer.

Okay. Coincidence. Happenstance.

H-Have you seen Magnolia? Yeah?

Yeah, Tom Cruise, he rocks in that film.

- It taught me a lot about women. - Why would someone want to kill you?

Jealous ex?

Hell hath no fury like a Roddy Ho ex, yeah?

Once you've tasted Michelin D, it's hard to go back to junk food.

It's too much for some women.

It's like orgasmic vertigo or the bends.

Roddy, you… you don't have to do this.

We both know you don't have any exes.

No, you're not a lothario. You're not James Bond.

Your relationship history consists of

a series of deeply awkward, prematurely terminated encounters

followed by periods of intense neediness

and borderline harassment until you are blocked.

Which leaves me to ponder,

as I'm sure you have pondered yourself,

what made Tara different?

Sorry, he deliberately targeted the penguins?

Yep, killed 22 of them. Thankfully, no human casualties.

We have him on CCTV heading towards the zoo

carrying what looks like a thermos.

There he is entering the zoo.

Witnesses say he threw it in and ran.

The device must have reacted with the water, some kind of pressure trigger.

This is him.

Okay, well, I think we can presume he didn't make it himself.

Where did you get the bomb?

A man.

I didn't know it was gonna do this.

Did he say why he wanted you to do it?

No. Who the fuck wants to kill penguins?

What did you think it was gonna do?

He said it'd turn the water red. Symbolic. Not actual blood.

Did he give you something for it?

He gave me 50 quid. And he said he were gonna give me a hit.

- What did he look like? - A man.

You said that. Anything else apart from his gender?

Age, ethnicity, nationality?

Thirties, maybe.

White. Italian. Spanish.

I don't know.

Can I get me ice?

I've earned it.

What do you think?

I think I should get something for this. I got hit by a fucking flipper!

- Get in! - All right.

At the zoo? Seriously?

That doesn't make any sense. What else do we know?

Okay. Keep us posted.

He'll wanna issue some sort of statement.

Did you get the photo for Instagram?

I had to take that call.

For God's sake. I can't ask to hug her again, can I?

Someone threw a bomb into the penguin pool at Regent's Park Zoo.

Who… Who the hell does that?

A mentally ill junkie.

You can't… You can't use language like that.

You mean someone who suffers from substance abuse issues.

Pretty sure "mentally ill" is out of bounds as well.

He said someone gave him the bomb,

but there's no real sense as to who gave it to him or why.

Sorry.

Sorry for your loss.

London grieves for you.

I'll be back for the memorial service tomorrow

where we'll set out together on the long path of healing,

and make London Londerful again.

What is happening to this city? This is insane. Terrible.

I've got some more bad news.

This evening's debate is no longer going ahead.

I will not give in to terror.

It's not going ahead because of Gimball. He's pulled out.

He thinks you're gonna use Abbotsfield to score political points.

Good, he's running scared.

I'll hold my own event.

I'd score even more points without him there.

A serious explosion occurred at Regent's Park Zoo this morning.

The Metropolitan Police have informed us that they located the device

that was detonated inside the penguin enclosure.

Christ. The bomb that went off killed a load of penguins.

Shit.

Fuck.

That's mad.

Penguins. Is it connected?

Number four, seize the media.

Hey, I need to seize your media. You shouldn't have a phone.

No, he has special dispensation.

We should listen to him.

Don't look at me like that.

Shit. It's happening. It's really happening.

Sorry. How the fuck do you seize the media with penguins?

That's all that'll be on the news for days.

People fucking love penguins.

I mean, look how teary-eyed you lot just got.

It'll push Abbotsfield right off the headlines.

So, you believe Coe?

While three items on the destabilization list, I can…

yeah, I'd pass off as a coincidence,

but four means it's real.

Okay. So, what… what comes next?

Five.

Yes, I can count.

What is number five?

Assassinate a populist leader.

The mayoral debate's this evening.

Well, Gimball… G-Gimball's a populist. What, they're gonna whack Gimball?

Welles, I need to speak to the Park urgently.

You don't get to speak to anyone.

You're on lockdown, remember? That came from the Park.

Okay, let me call Flyte then.

She told me to not let you communicate with anyone and to not trust you.

Pretty sure you were there when she said it

so why would she want a call from you?

Well, fuck it then. You call her.

You mistake me for someone who takes orders rather than gives them.

- Okay, then give her a message. - What's the message?

Someone is about to try and kill Dennis Gimball.

Evergreen statement.

Ho. Abbotsfield. The… The traffic disruption.

Now this fucking bomb at the zoo.

T-They're all part of a destabilization strategy.

The next on the list is assassinate a populist leader.

So right now, we're at DEFCON shit, fuck, bollocks and scramble,

and the Park don't even realize it.

I embarrass you, so you embarrass me.

Is that what you're going for here?

Fuck. First of all you didn't embarrass me.

I confiscated your gun. It's humiliating.

So, you try and make me look like a fucking prick.

Welles. Welles, just pass on the message.

Seriously, he wouldn't even get up out of his chair if it wasn't important.

I'm old enough to remember when you thought Coe's theory was batshit.

You did.

Yes, but everything you say sounds batshit.

It is batshit.

Sit down, old man.

Where is she from?

France.

France?

Are you sure?

No.

I asked her where she was from

and she said, "lots of places."

Which I thought sounded pretty cool.

Might use that line myself actually.

Why didn't you tell your coworkers about her?

My last relationship ended badly. I didn't wanna jinx it.

Well, your last relationship was with a bot, Roddy.

We think it was profiling you, identifying weaknesses,

- so that they could manipulate you. - Okay, yeah.

This all seems very conspiracy theory, yeah.

So can you just go out there and get Tara on the phone,

- and we can straighten this all out? - Her phone's dead.

And she's not at the address she gave you.

Which she also gave to the events company she was working for.

In fact, we don't even know if Tara is her real name.

Why would she give me a false name?

She was a honey trapper.

She lied to you, manipulated you.

She's trying to extract something from you.

Something about Abbotsfield.

She didn't get anything.

That's why they tried to kill me.

See, this is what happens when a honey trapper

gets a taste of honey themselves, you know?

Things, they go loco. Yeah, I've… I've seen it before.

It was in a Cindy Crawford flick, I think. She only did a couple of them--

Roddy, you're fighting reality here.

No, look. It's rule number one: never fall in love with the target.

But forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter.

It became a real relationship.

She… She turned against her handlers, risked everything.

I mean, that's why they tried to take my life, to punish her and all women.

But mainly her.

The numbers might be low for the rally.

What? 'Cause Gimball's not appearing?

Are you saying he's more of a draw than me?

No. 'Cause the gridlock's still clearing

and the bomb at the zoo has people on edge.

Some people are going to stay at home.

Well, they can't, okay?

I want a full room. I can't talk to an empty room.

Dad.

Irfan.

Hey, you changed your hair again.

Yeah, I wanted it to be more distinctive.

Hands on your head.

- What's going on? - Hey, hey. Let go of my son.

We're arresting him for breaking into a depot

and sabotaging the fuel supply.

That is absolutely absurd. What proof do you have?

He just showed us his confession.

Irfan. What have you done?

Unlike you I followed my conscience.

No, you've done this to embarrass me.

No, you embarrass me.

Okay? What are you doing for my generation?

Look, I've told you we can only go one step at a time on these issues.

No, you're all talk and no action, Dad.

Okay, there is no time.

The planet is dying from plastics!

The last thing we need is another plastic politician!

- You shouldn't be here. - Plastic politician!

Plastic politician!

Berlin was the ultimate lockdown.

Spooks' Zoo, they called it.

No one ever escaped.

I was a babysitter for fuck-ups.

Much like I am now. Much like you, Devon.

Except I had some charm and charisma.

A bit of raw sex appeal.

Fuck off.

Stasi were the real deal.

Yeah, fucking monsters.

Loved to torture people, took pride in it.

They had no rules.

No conscience. No compassion.

Yeah, they picked up a joe of mine.

Brought him in.

To be honest with you, I…

I think I'd rather be crucified than have to go through what he went through.

Where did you get that?

- No, I found it. - Nope.

- Come on. - No.

Standish, I'm fucking gasping. It's just the one.

No.

- Hey, you want that? Yeah. - Yes.

You could've joined the Stasi yourself, you know?

Yeah, you'd have fitted right in.

No mercy.

Inventive, though.

They could turn anything into a weapon.

Eastern bloc budgets didn't stretch to blowtorches, so they made their own.

They got an aerosol can

and a lighter…

And they burnt all th-the skin off the soles of his feet,

and then made him stand for days.

They'd make him piss into a bottle.

Then, they'd pour it in his mouth,

and if he didn't swallow it, they'd beat him around the head with it.

So, three days of this,

he's on the brink of death,

and the Stasi can see that… that his body would give up before his resolve does.

They'd have happily killed him,

but then they wouldn't have got what they wanted, which was a name.

Stored in the poor bastard's battered head.

So, they found his only weakness.

He had met a woman, a local.

He'd gotten serious.

M-Maybe not love, but the closest thing a spook can come to it.

It's a fucking lonely life, Devon.

Sometimes you just,

you know, you just grasp at any spark of perfection.

So, I couldn't blame him.

Yeah, they were shacking up together in a safe house.

Got sloppy.

Yeah. Anyway, they… they brought her in,

and they worked her over

in the same room as him so he could see it.

But even then,

he didn't break.

He-He refused to give them anything.

Even while they burnt all the skin off of that beautiful face he loved so much.

Even when they beat her in the stomach with a fire extinguisher.

Even when she screamed.

What's that mean?

"I'm pregnant."

Fuck.

He begged them to stop hurting her.

Yeah, he pleaded with them.

But he still wouldn't give them the name.

And it was only when the screams stopped

and the woman and the baby, their baby, were dead…

that the Stasi realized…

the only reason he wouldn't give them the name

was because he didn't know the fucking name.

Never had.

Fucking hell.

And what did they do to him then?

He was free to go.

As we are now.

What?

What the fuck are you doing?

Fuck.

Shit.

Fuck.

Give me my phone.

Fuck me.

You lot were really paying attention for once.

Hey.

Well, we did ask you nicely.

Fuck you, man.

You'll be thrown out for this.

We've already been thrown out.

- Fuck. - Come on, fuckwits.

I love that we're still fuckwits even though we just broke out of lockdown.

Everyone's gonna have to type those out again when we get back.

Nope.

Fuck you.

All right.

Everyone off to the debate.

Debate's canceled. They're holding separate rallies.

Okay, you go with Cartwright.

Head to Gimball's. He's the obvious target.

You go to Jaffrey's. Just as a precaution.

Hey, can I get one of those guns?

No, you can't. We're gonna need them more than you.

Lamb, that story, was that you?

Were you the one being tortured?

Don't be fucking daft, Standish.

I-I made it up.

Well, I'll go with Shirley then.

Where are you going?

Away from you.

Did Tara ever ask you about any aspect of your work?

Look, if she was ever tasked with finding anything out,

that went out the window when she fell for the Hot Rod.

If you are lying

or even if some tiny little thing genuinely slipped your mind,

you will be locked away for a very long time

in a much nastier and smaller cell than this.

I'm telling you, she had no interest in me being a spy.

It meant nothing to her.

She wasn't even fussed when I showed her I could hack into the MI5 database.

You did what?

Chill. I was just trying to impress her.

Sorry, just to be clear, you showed her how to enter the MI5 database?

Relax, yeah? She couldn't replicate it.

I've got the fastest fingers in the West.

You can quote me on that.

And was she ever left alone?

No. Never.

Well, apart from when I went to get the door for the pizzas.

Like, 20 seconds tops.

But like I said, she wasn't fussed.

She loves me for who I am, not what I do.

Did I just hear that right?

He left her on her own with access to our entire database,

and we have no idea who she is, what she wants, or what she did.

Find Ho's girlfriend, and tell IT to check the system for a breach.