All language subtitles for Meet.Wally.Sparks.1997.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:07,628 --> 00:01:09,495 [Static] 2 00:01:09,561 --> 00:01:11,262 Senator Bob Dole says... 3 00:01:11,328 --> 00:01:13,495 trash TV is the beachhead of controversy... 4 00:01:13,561 --> 00:01:15,761 infinity backs shock jock Howard Stern... 5 00:01:15,828 --> 00:01:17,195 get this garbage off the air... 6 00:01:17,262 --> 00:01:18,861 declined to comment on the TV censorship issue... 7 00:01:18,928 --> 00:01:20,561 continues his attack on TV talk shows... 8 00:01:20,628 --> 00:01:21,828 Howard Stern... 9 00:01:21,895 --> 00:01:24,128 take the trash out of talk television... 10 00:01:24,195 --> 00:01:27,095 demeaning, exploitative, perverted, divisive... 11 00:01:32,561 --> 00:01:34,162 What a great audience. Welcome to the Show. 12 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,628 I have a very unusual guest today. 13 00:01:36,694 --> 00:01:38,694 Cowboy Phil and his pig... 14 00:01:38,761 --> 00:01:40,395 Wild, weird, and wacky... 15 00:01:40,462 --> 00:01:42,429 He insisted that he come dressed in drag. 16 00:01:42,495 --> 00:01:43,429 Why? 17 00:01:43,495 --> 00:01:45,529 As a woman, I am fierce! 18 00:01:45,594 --> 00:01:47,028 I don't believe this! 19 00:01:47,095 --> 00:01:50,162 We're discussing the problem of nudity on television. 20 00:01:50,228 --> 00:01:51,661 They just got back from Las Vegas, 21 00:01:51,728 --> 00:01:53,162 and they lost their shirt. 22 00:01:53,228 --> 00:01:55,429 They lost their shirt. Make them happy. 23 00:01:55,495 --> 00:01:57,395 What is going on? 24 00:01:57,462 --> 00:01:58,394 OK, ladies and gentlemen, 25 00:01:58,461 --> 00:02:00,161 the talk show host you love to hate... 26 00:02:00,227 --> 00:02:01,161 Wally Sparks! 27 00:02:01,227 --> 00:02:04,927 Meet... Wally... Sparks! 28 00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:07,061 [Cheering] 29 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,261 [Chanting] Wally! Wally! Wally! 30 00:02:18,627 --> 00:02:20,927 Hey, what a crowd! What a crowd! 31 00:02:20,994 --> 00:02:22,627 I tell you, I'm all right now, 32 00:02:22,693 --> 00:02:24,227 but this morning I was in rough shape, you know? 33 00:02:24,294 --> 00:02:26,660 Yeah, this morning I did my pushups in the nude. 34 00:02:26,727 --> 00:02:28,361 I didn't see the mousetrap. 35 00:02:29,593 --> 00:02:31,593 Today I saved a girl from being attacked. 36 00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:33,127 I changed my mind. 37 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:36,227 Honey, if you are just joining this show, sit down! 38 00:02:36,294 --> 00:02:38,161 Right now, folks, we're going to start our show 39 00:02:38,227 --> 00:02:40,161 with a segment called "It's hard to believe." 40 00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:41,927 Or as my ex-wife used to say, 41 00:02:41,994 --> 00:02:43,727 "I can't believe it's hard." 42 00:02:46,494 --> 00:02:48,327 What the hell does he think he's doing out there? 43 00:02:48,394 --> 00:02:49,894 Come on, girl, hold still. 44 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,760 One more complaint from the F.C.C., 45 00:02:51,827 --> 00:02:53,428 and he's history. 46 00:02:53,494 --> 00:02:54,760 I mean, she was a wild girl... 47 00:02:54,827 --> 00:02:56,361 a very wild girl! 48 00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:58,227 Audience: How wild, Wally? 49 00:02:58,294 --> 00:02:59,727 When she made me French toast, 50 00:02:59,794 --> 00:03:01,727 her tongue got caught in the toaster! 51 00:03:01,794 --> 00:03:03,094 [Laughter] 52 00:03:03,161 --> 00:03:04,428 I mean, a wild girl! 53 00:03:04,494 --> 00:03:05,692 In fact, when I met her, 54 00:03:05,759 --> 00:03:09,026 she was doing pushups in her cucumber garden. 55 00:03:09,093 --> 00:03:11,692 Hey, at least this isn't The Wally Sparks Show. 56 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,926 I'd like to have all the girls Wally turned down. 57 00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:15,859 Yeah? I'd like to have all the girls you turned over. 58 00:03:15,926 --> 00:03:17,826 Ha ha ha! Oh! 59 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:21,260 Our guests today all live far beyond the borders of normalcy. 60 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,626 Everybody, I'd like you to meet... 61 00:03:22,692 --> 00:03:25,926 the man who has fallen in love with the family dog... 62 00:03:25,993 --> 00:03:27,293 Harry Karp and Queenie. 63 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,293 No wonder all the critics are saying 64 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,692 talk shows are going to the dogs. 65 00:03:30,759 --> 00:03:31,959 How did all this happen? 66 00:03:32,026 --> 00:03:34,527 Last week he bought her this. 67 00:03:34,592 --> 00:03:37,926 A collar with 14 1-carat diamonds. 68 00:03:37,993 --> 00:03:39,293 In all the years that we were married, 69 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,527 he never bought me anything like that! 70 00:03:41,592 --> 00:03:44,793 Well, honey, maybe you're not doing the right tricks. 71 00:03:44,859 --> 00:03:47,193 What am I supposed to do, sit up and beg? 72 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:50,692 It's better than rolling over and playing dead 73 00:03:50,759 --> 00:03:52,692 for the past 15 years. 74 00:03:52,759 --> 00:03:54,493 Oh, you're impossible! 75 00:03:54,559 --> 00:03:56,759 And he's says you're being a dog, too. 76 00:03:56,826 --> 00:03:58,260 How long do you think 77 00:03:58,326 --> 00:04:00,527 that a relationship like this will last? 78 00:04:00,592 --> 00:04:02,126 In dog years? 79 00:04:02,193 --> 00:04:04,460 Calmly and without swearing... 80 00:04:04,527 --> 00:04:06,592 I hope that little bitch gives you rabies! 81 00:04:06,659 --> 00:04:09,326 I told you never to call her that! 82 00:04:09,393 --> 00:04:10,559 Please, folks, settle down! 83 00:04:12,759 --> 00:04:13,925 Aah! 84 00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:14,925 Please! 85 00:04:14,992 --> 00:04:15,925 Everybody calm down! 86 00:04:15,992 --> 00:04:17,725 No fighting! 87 00:04:17,792 --> 00:04:18,725 [Arf] 88 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:19,992 Get her off me! 89 00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:21,059 Get a dog-catcher! 90 00:04:21,125 --> 00:04:22,059 Get the security guys. 91 00:04:22,125 --> 00:04:23,325 [Shouting] 92 00:04:23,392 --> 00:04:24,591 Not another fight! 93 00:04:24,658 --> 00:04:26,958 Ha ha ha! Jeez, Wally! 94 00:04:27,025 --> 00:04:28,092 Wally Sparks? 95 00:04:28,159 --> 00:04:30,059 I'll tell you what I think about Wally Sparks! 96 00:04:30,125 --> 00:04:32,125 Wally Sparks, Wally Sparks... 97 00:04:32,192 --> 00:04:34,758 What do I think about Wally Sparks? 98 00:04:34,825 --> 00:04:37,325 Wally Sparks is a pain in the ass. 99 00:04:37,392 --> 00:04:38,925 Wally Sparks is still on TV? 100 00:04:38,992 --> 00:04:39,925 He's still alive? 101 00:04:39,992 --> 00:04:41,292 I thought those were just reruns. 102 00:04:41,359 --> 00:04:42,992 Siskel and Ebert caught my show. 103 00:04:43,059 --> 00:04:45,192 They gave me one finger up. 104 00:04:45,259 --> 00:04:47,858 He's a Has-Been! He's a Never-Was! He's a Wannabe! 105 00:04:47,925 --> 00:04:49,591 He doesn't behave properly. 106 00:04:49,658 --> 00:04:51,192 Obnoxious, overbearing idiot. 107 00:04:51,259 --> 00:04:53,526 The only trouble is, I'm sitting on top of the world, 108 00:04:53,591 --> 00:04:55,359 and I got hemorrhoids. 109 00:04:55,426 --> 00:04:56,426 I like him, though, actually. 110 00:04:56,492 --> 00:04:57,958 I've seen him in a bathrobe, though. 111 00:04:58,025 --> 00:05:00,192 Wally Sparks is an idiot... 112 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:01,992 and he's a lousy lay, too. 113 00:05:02,059 --> 00:05:04,558 I think men like that should be locked up. 114 00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:06,459 Don't go away... 115 00:05:06,526 --> 00:05:07,825 We'll be right... back. 116 00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:09,558 Stay tuned... when we come back... 117 00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,059 we're gonna teach you married men 118 00:05:11,125 --> 00:05:12,591 how to look at another woman's ass 119 00:05:12,658 --> 00:05:14,725 without your wife noticing it, OK? 120 00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:15,725 When we come back! 121 00:05:18,558 --> 00:05:20,426 [Applause] 122 00:05:23,358 --> 00:05:26,491 You know, folks, lately, we're getting a lot of flak 123 00:05:26,557 --> 00:05:29,291 from some of our conservative affiliates down South, 124 00:05:29,358 --> 00:05:30,657 especially in Atlanta. 125 00:05:30,724 --> 00:05:32,924 In fact, Governor Floyd Preston of Georgia 126 00:05:32,991 --> 00:05:34,324 recently sent me a letter 127 00:05:34,391 --> 00:05:36,224 telling me what he thinks of the show. 128 00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:37,991 Here's the letter. 129 00:05:38,058 --> 00:05:41,258 Governor Preston says, "As a devoted family man," 130 00:05:41,324 --> 00:05:43,724 he feels that The Wally Sparks Show 131 00:05:43,791 --> 00:05:46,124 "defies conventional family morals." 132 00:05:46,191 --> 00:05:47,690 He says I'm not dignified 133 00:05:47,757 --> 00:05:50,557 and "not suitable for public consumption." 134 00:05:50,624 --> 00:05:53,224 Well, Governor Preston, let me tell you this. 135 00:05:53,291 --> 00:05:55,791 I've been consumed by the public many times, 136 00:05:55,857 --> 00:05:58,058 and once in a while, even engulfed by some. 137 00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,924 And you talk about family dignity? 138 00:05:59,991 --> 00:06:02,191 Well, Governor, I looked up your family tree, 139 00:06:02,258 --> 00:06:04,024 and 2 dogs were using it. 140 00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:09,891 Governor Preston's family's always been mixed up. 141 00:06:09,957 --> 00:06:12,224 Why, in the Civil War, his great-grandfather, 142 00:06:12,291 --> 00:06:13,690 he fought for the West. 143 00:06:17,757 --> 00:06:19,158 I hate that man. 144 00:06:19,224 --> 00:06:21,791 Now, Governor, don't you worry. 145 00:06:21,857 --> 00:06:23,991 I seriously doubt if any of your supporters 146 00:06:24,058 --> 00:06:26,291 watch that trash, and I'm quite sure 147 00:06:26,358 --> 00:06:27,824 it will not affect the vote. 148 00:06:27,891 --> 00:06:30,390 Damn! Harvey, I didn't write that letter to get votes. 149 00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:33,556 I wrote it because as a concerned father and husband, 150 00:06:33,623 --> 00:06:37,457 I do not want my family or my state or my country 151 00:06:37,524 --> 00:06:40,157 affected by that media hog Wally Sparks! 152 00:06:40,223 --> 00:06:41,790 I--I understand that, sir. 153 00:06:41,856 --> 00:06:42,890 [Telephone rings] I'm simply saying-- 154 00:06:42,956 --> 00:06:45,257 Hell! If I had my way, the man would be banned 155 00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:47,190 from the Western Hemisphere altogether. 156 00:06:47,257 --> 00:06:48,257 This is the Governor. 157 00:06:48,323 --> 00:06:49,257 Daddy? 158 00:06:49,323 --> 00:06:50,257 Baby doll! 159 00:06:50,323 --> 00:06:52,023 Daddy, I just wanted to let you know 160 00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:54,723 that even though some of these demented lowerclassmen 161 00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,756 think this Wally Sparks is funny, 162 00:06:56,823 --> 00:06:58,090 I find the man 163 00:06:58,157 --> 00:07:00,090 a complete and total abomination. 164 00:07:00,157 --> 00:07:02,490 [Chuckles] Says Sparks is an abomination. 165 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,424 And I'm proud that you sent that letter 166 00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:05,856 to that dreadful man. 167 00:07:05,923 --> 00:07:07,490 If he can even read. 168 00:07:07,556 --> 00:07:08,923 [Chuckles] Yeah. I don't know. 169 00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:11,424 Honey, I hope you know how disappointed we all are 170 00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:13,457 that you can't make it down here for the big bash. 171 00:07:13,524 --> 00:07:15,689 Well, if I'm ever going to fill that Governor's chair 172 00:07:15,756 --> 00:07:18,123 when you become Senator, I'd better finish my thesis. 173 00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:20,023 By God, darling, you're starting to sound 174 00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:21,723 like a politician already. 175 00:07:21,790 --> 00:07:23,223 I love you, daddy. 176 00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:24,457 You, too, baby doll. 177 00:07:24,524 --> 00:07:26,190 You come home as soon as you can, now, you hear? 178 00:07:26,257 --> 00:07:27,123 Bye-bye. 179 00:07:28,723 --> 00:07:32,057 She says she's not entirely sure Sparks can read. 180 00:07:32,123 --> 00:07:34,157 Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! 181 00:07:34,223 --> 00:07:35,756 What you got there? 182 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,122 Um, well, sir-- 183 00:07:37,189 --> 00:07:40,456 Floyd, Harvey, I thought you gentlemen might like some tea. 184 00:07:40,523 --> 00:07:41,555 There you go. 185 00:07:41,622 --> 00:07:42,555 Thank you, Emily. 186 00:07:42,622 --> 00:07:43,588 Now, shall I pour? 187 00:07:43,655 --> 00:07:44,588 That would be lovely. 188 00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:45,588 No, thank you, dear. 189 00:07:45,655 --> 00:07:46,855 No, thank you, Mrs. Preston. 190 00:07:46,922 --> 00:07:48,389 Oh, well, all right, then. 191 00:07:48,456 --> 00:07:49,389 Governor, 192 00:07:49,456 --> 00:07:51,722 I'm afraid the polls are very bad. 193 00:07:51,789 --> 00:07:53,489 Oh, isn't that a shame? 194 00:07:53,555 --> 00:07:55,456 And they're such lovely people. 195 00:07:57,588 --> 00:07:59,089 I forgot the spoons. 196 00:07:59,156 --> 00:08:01,022 I'm going to run in the kitchen and get them. 197 00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:02,655 No, dear, we'll be fine. 198 00:08:02,722 --> 00:08:03,989 Oh, but, darling, how will you stir your tea? 199 00:08:04,056 --> 00:08:05,022 Thank you. 200 00:08:05,089 --> 00:08:06,389 I'll be leaving now. 201 00:08:06,456 --> 00:08:08,256 All right, if you gentlemen need anything else, now, 202 00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,423 you just feel free to call. 203 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,755 Thank you, Emily. 204 00:08:10,822 --> 00:08:12,922 Actually, we'd rather not be disturbed. 205 00:08:14,655 --> 00:08:16,089 Oh, yes, of course. 206 00:08:16,156 --> 00:08:18,089 As you wish, Floyd. As you wish. 207 00:08:18,156 --> 00:08:19,722 [Doors close] 208 00:08:19,789 --> 00:08:21,588 She's quite a woman, sir. 209 00:08:25,322 --> 00:08:27,588 In your next campaign spot, 210 00:08:27,655 --> 00:08:30,089 we want to portray the Prestons 211 00:08:30,156 --> 00:08:34,356 as your typical normal American family. 212 00:08:39,022 --> 00:08:40,456 Now, the question is, 213 00:08:40,523 --> 00:08:42,922 can I eat this banana and still be a gentleman? 214 00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:44,188 What do you think, huh? 215 00:08:44,255 --> 00:08:45,888 Both: I say go for it, Wally! 216 00:08:45,954 --> 00:08:46,888 Go! 217 00:08:46,954 --> 00:08:48,455 What's going on here? 218 00:08:48,522 --> 00:08:49,888 You boys realize what time-- 219 00:08:49,954 --> 00:08:51,288 How many times have I told you 220 00:08:51,355 --> 00:08:52,854 not to watch this moronic show? 221 00:08:52,921 --> 00:08:54,654 You do this just to gall me, don't you? 222 00:08:54,721 --> 00:08:56,554 Come on, dad, it's almost over, 223 00:08:56,621 --> 00:08:58,288 and Wally's totally awesome! 224 00:08:58,355 --> 00:08:59,921 And totally unsuitable for children! 225 00:09:02,055 --> 00:09:03,988 Don't-- Leave that off, young man! 226 00:09:04,055 --> 00:09:06,621 Listen to me! 227 00:09:06,687 --> 00:09:08,355 Robby-- That's it! 228 00:09:09,488 --> 00:09:11,422 You're grounded for one week. 229 00:09:11,488 --> 00:09:13,988 You can forget about coming to my party Saturday night. 230 00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:16,221 [Wally voice] Oh, Governor, I'm crushed. 231 00:09:22,888 --> 00:09:24,854 Your dad's pissed. 232 00:09:24,921 --> 00:09:27,021 Yeah? 233 00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:30,522 Wait till he sees who I invited to his stupid party. 234 00:09:30,587 --> 00:09:33,055 Hey, I'm talking about a wild girl here. 235 00:09:33,121 --> 00:09:35,055 All: How wild, Wally? 236 00:09:35,121 --> 00:09:36,288 I mean wild! 237 00:09:36,355 --> 00:09:38,988 When she licked the stamp, Elvis started smiling. 238 00:09:39,055 --> 00:09:40,754 [Laughter] 239 00:09:40,821 --> 00:09:42,055 Well, that's it, folks. 240 00:09:42,121 --> 00:09:44,355 I'll see you Monday, when our topic will be... 241 00:09:44,422 --> 00:09:46,422 "Sex after 10 years of marriage... 242 00:09:46,488 --> 00:09:48,388 should the wife know about it?" 243 00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:51,188 But just remember, folks... 244 00:09:51,255 --> 00:09:53,287 every man has his tale of woe. 245 00:09:53,354 --> 00:09:56,586 Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tale. 246 00:09:56,653 --> 00:09:58,820 [Applause] 247 00:10:00,421 --> 00:10:03,220 And... clear. 248 00:10:03,287 --> 00:10:06,054 That was a great show. 249 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,920 I got to go talk to Wally. 250 00:10:07,987 --> 00:10:09,620 [Sighs] 251 00:10:09,686 --> 00:10:11,220 Dad! 252 00:10:11,287 --> 00:10:13,454 Dean! Hey, what a surprise! 253 00:10:13,521 --> 00:10:16,187 Hey, did you see the show? Pretty crazy, huh? 254 00:10:16,254 --> 00:10:17,753 Crazy's a good way to describe it. Yeah. 255 00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:19,254 Listen, I just wanted to remind you, 256 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,521 the band's playing down at the cellar door 257 00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:21,553 in the village this weekend. 258 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,187 I'll be there. Are you kidding? 259 00:10:23,254 --> 00:10:24,953 Wild horses couldn't keep me away. 260 00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:26,020 Unless they're at the track. 261 00:10:26,087 --> 00:10:28,521 No, I promise you, I'll be there, OK? 262 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:29,620 How are you guys doing? 263 00:10:29,686 --> 00:10:30,853 Great. Great. 264 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,720 Our manager thinks we're ready for the big-time. 265 00:10:32,787 --> 00:10:34,787 Big-time, huh? Hey, watch out for managers. 266 00:10:34,853 --> 00:10:36,087 I had a manager once. 267 00:10:36,154 --> 00:10:37,653 He booked me so far out in the woods, 268 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,653 my act was reviewed in Field and Stream. 269 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:41,820 Hey, have a bite to eat. 270 00:10:41,887 --> 00:10:43,553 Come on, we'll have a bite to eat. 271 00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:46,354 Oh, you know, I got this-- I got this appointment. 272 00:10:46,421 --> 00:10:48,987 Appointment? At this hour, huh? 273 00:10:49,054 --> 00:10:50,387 Do me a favor, will you? 274 00:10:50,454 --> 00:10:52,820 When you get to the good parts, think of me, OK? 275 00:10:52,887 --> 00:10:53,820 Here, you need some bread? 276 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,454 - Oh, no, I'm OK. - You're sure? 277 00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:58,586 Dad, you don't have to support the whole world, OK? 278 00:11:00,685 --> 00:11:02,019 See you this weekend. 279 00:11:02,086 --> 00:11:03,520 Wally, Miller's on the warpath again. 280 00:11:03,585 --> 00:11:05,153 We gotta get out of here. 281 00:11:05,219 --> 00:11:07,453 Sandy, do you think my kid likes me? 282 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,119 Dean? Of course. Why? 283 00:11:09,186 --> 00:11:10,786 I don't know. Sometimes I get the feeling 284 00:11:10,852 --> 00:11:12,319 he don't respect what I do. 285 00:11:12,386 --> 00:11:13,585 Oh, come on. What's not to respect? 286 00:11:13,652 --> 00:11:15,386 I mean, how many kids can say their father 287 00:11:15,453 --> 00:11:17,585 can eat a banana between a woman's breasts, huh? 288 00:11:17,652 --> 00:11:19,286 Huh. You got a point there. 289 00:11:19,353 --> 00:11:21,119 In fact, you got 2 points there. 290 00:11:21,186 --> 00:11:22,353 Come on. 291 00:11:24,186 --> 00:11:26,219 Wally, this special delivery came for you today. 292 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,552 - Yeah? - Yeah. 293 00:11:27,619 --> 00:11:28,719 Well, what's this, 294 00:11:28,786 --> 00:11:30,952 another hate letter from that Governor in Georgia? 295 00:11:31,019 --> 00:11:33,019 No. It's an invitation to the campaign ball. 296 00:11:33,086 --> 00:11:34,852 Ha! Look at that. It's 1,000 bucks a head. 297 00:11:34,919 --> 00:11:37,786 Go to Atlanta to see a bunch of stiffs? No, thanks. 298 00:11:37,852 --> 00:11:40,420 The only stiff I want to see is when I'm naked. 299 00:11:42,685 --> 00:11:44,353 Well, Mr. Degenerate. 300 00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,886 I see you managed to put on another fiasco tonight. 301 00:11:46,952 --> 00:11:48,086 You know, Miller, 302 00:11:48,153 --> 00:11:51,585 you're the only white guy I know with a brown nose. 303 00:11:51,652 --> 00:11:53,919 Very good. Laugh it up, funny man, 304 00:11:53,986 --> 00:11:56,053 but you lost another sponsor tonight, 305 00:11:56,119 --> 00:11:58,886 and Mr. Spencer just downed a year's supply of prozac. 306 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,253 He wants to see you in his office. 307 00:12:01,319 --> 00:12:02,286 Now. 308 00:12:08,718 --> 00:12:09,785 Hello, Wally. 309 00:12:09,851 --> 00:12:11,318 Good to see you. 310 00:12:11,385 --> 00:12:12,885 You know what this is? 311 00:12:12,951 --> 00:12:15,285 Yeah. A healthy girl laying on her back. 312 00:12:15,352 --> 00:12:18,218 [Chuckles] Close. 313 00:12:18,285 --> 00:12:22,018 No, it's a history of your ad revenue report. 314 00:12:22,085 --> 00:12:24,419 Notice there's a lot of peaks and valleys. 315 00:12:24,485 --> 00:12:26,452 A lot more valleys than peaks 316 00:12:26,519 --> 00:12:31,218 because your show has evolved into a parade of freaks, 317 00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:33,985 a carnival for the unfortunate, 318 00:12:34,052 --> 00:12:36,885 a tits-and-ass burlesque show. 319 00:12:36,951 --> 00:12:39,218 Wally: Oh, but the fans love it! 320 00:12:39,285 --> 00:12:40,218 Yeah? 321 00:12:40,285 --> 00:12:41,785 Well, the sponsors hate it. 322 00:12:41,851 --> 00:12:42,918 They hate it. 323 00:12:42,985 --> 00:12:44,452 What, is there an echo here? 324 00:12:47,718 --> 00:12:49,851 We've been through this before, Wally, 325 00:12:49,918 --> 00:12:51,318 many times. 326 00:12:51,385 --> 00:12:53,584 It's my job to keep the sponsors happy, 327 00:12:53,651 --> 00:12:56,252 and they're not happy, so... 328 00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,651 your show is coming to an end. 329 00:12:58,718 --> 00:12:59,651 What?! 330 00:12:59,718 --> 00:13:00,651 You're going to cancel us? 331 00:13:00,718 --> 00:13:02,152 Oh, come on, we can work it out. 332 00:13:02,218 --> 00:13:04,152 Not this time, Wally. 333 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,385 I'm sorry. 334 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,452 Wait a second! Wait a second! 335 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,985 Excuse me, Mr. Spencer, 336 00:13:09,052 --> 00:13:11,452 But this is bullshit! 337 00:13:11,519 --> 00:13:14,118 And we all know that if it wasn't for Wally Sparks, 338 00:13:14,185 --> 00:13:15,583 None of us would be here right now. 339 00:13:15,650 --> 00:13:17,151 I mean, the man's a friggin' pioneer. 340 00:13:17,217 --> 00:13:19,950 He invented tabloid talk format 341 00:13:20,017 --> 00:13:21,583 and made this network what it is today. 342 00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:22,884 I did that? 343 00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:25,518 How dare you talk to Mr. Spencer that way! 344 00:13:25,583 --> 00:13:28,518 Mr. Spencer is responsible for this network's success, 345 00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:30,251 and no one else. 346 00:13:30,317 --> 00:13:32,184 Why, he is a programming genius. 347 00:13:32,251 --> 00:13:33,683 Shut up. Look... 348 00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:36,117 Next week are ratings sweeps. 349 00:13:36,184 --> 00:13:38,117 Let us book some real big names on the show 350 00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,850 and change the show's format. 351 00:13:39,917 --> 00:13:42,351 I'm afraid it's too late. It's beyond repair. 352 00:13:42,418 --> 00:13:44,017 Totally beyond repair. 353 00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:46,017 Miller... 354 00:13:46,084 --> 00:13:47,084 Yes, sir? 355 00:13:47,151 --> 00:13:48,917 I want you to go over there in the corner, 356 00:13:48,984 --> 00:13:50,451 face the wall, and count to 100. 357 00:13:50,518 --> 00:13:51,451 But, sir-- 358 00:13:51,518 --> 00:13:52,617 Make it 200. 359 00:13:52,683 --> 00:13:53,617 Yes, sir. 360 00:13:53,683 --> 00:13:55,484 OK. 361 00:13:55,550 --> 00:13:56,650 1 Mississippi... 362 00:13:56,717 --> 00:13:57,784 2 Mississippi... 363 00:13:57,850 --> 00:14:01,850 Mr. Spencer, you and Wally go way back. 364 00:14:01,917 --> 00:14:03,117 You owe him one. 365 00:14:08,984 --> 00:14:10,717 You're right. 366 00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:13,650 We do go back a long way. 367 00:14:13,717 --> 00:14:15,184 A long way. 368 00:14:15,251 --> 00:14:17,550 All right, Wally, I'll give you another week, 369 00:14:17,617 --> 00:14:19,051 but I want a total transformation. 370 00:14:19,117 --> 00:14:20,518 Oh, you got it! 371 00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:23,450 Thanks, Spence. I take back everything I said about you. 372 00:14:24,949 --> 00:14:26,116 Thank you, Mr. Spencer. 373 00:14:26,183 --> 00:14:27,116 Yeah. 374 00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:28,517 Sir! 375 00:14:28,582 --> 00:14:30,716 You can't be serious about giving him another chance. 376 00:14:30,783 --> 00:14:32,649 Sparks is an embarrassment to the network. 377 00:14:32,716 --> 00:14:35,283 I want to give him the benefit of going out with a fight. 378 00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:36,582 But, sir, I really don't think-- 379 00:14:36,649 --> 00:14:38,816 No, you don't, Miller. Everyone says that about you. 380 00:14:38,883 --> 00:14:41,983 You know, that girl was right about Wallace Sparks. 381 00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:44,250 We go back a long way. 382 00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:46,417 I mean, there's a code of ethics 383 00:14:46,483 --> 00:14:48,949 among old friends in the broadcasting business 384 00:14:49,016 --> 00:14:50,783 that you young punks wouldn't understand. 385 00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,849 It's about loyalty and respect. 386 00:14:52,916 --> 00:14:55,316 OK, fine. Fine. What if he fails? 387 00:14:55,383 --> 00:14:56,417 He's out on his ass. 388 00:14:57,716 --> 00:14:59,283 "Mr. Degenerate." 389 00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:02,816 Huh. "Totally beyond repair." 390 00:15:02,883 --> 00:15:05,682 Hey, I got a bootleg tape of that hot new porno queen 391 00:15:05,749 --> 00:15:07,383 I was telling you about. 392 00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:09,450 She'd make a great guest on the show. 393 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,316 Where is she? 394 00:15:18,383 --> 00:15:20,116 She'll be up in a minute. 395 00:15:20,183 --> 00:15:21,916 More of Joey's home movies? 396 00:15:21,983 --> 00:15:23,716 I thought this was supposed to be a staff meeting. 397 00:15:23,783 --> 00:15:25,350 In a minute. We're busy here. 398 00:15:25,417 --> 00:15:28,483 All right, Joey, book her on the show. 399 00:15:28,549 --> 00:15:29,816 You haven't even seen her yet. 400 00:15:29,882 --> 00:15:30,948 How do you know if she's the right girl? 401 00:15:31,015 --> 00:15:33,115 She's the right girl. 402 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,615 That is it! 403 00:15:35,681 --> 00:15:37,482 This is our asses on the line. 404 00:15:37,548 --> 00:15:38,748 If we don't clean up our act, 405 00:15:38,815 --> 00:15:40,648 we're all going to lose our jobs. Hello? 406 00:15:40,715 --> 00:15:43,149 From now on, no more porno stars, 407 00:15:43,215 --> 00:15:44,848 and no more stupid shows 408 00:15:44,915 --> 00:15:46,815 with alien lesbian Elvis impersonators. 409 00:15:46,882 --> 00:15:49,349 I thought that was one of our best shows! 410 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,982 When, Robby, when are you going to grow up? 411 00:15:52,049 --> 00:15:53,615 When I was your age, 412 00:15:53,681 --> 00:15:56,182 I went to school, and I held down a job. 413 00:15:56,249 --> 00:15:58,516 And you didn't have any Nintendo... 414 00:15:58,581 --> 00:16:02,082 and you had to walk 5 miles every day without any shoes-- 415 00:16:02,149 --> 00:16:03,748 And I respected my elders. 416 00:16:03,815 --> 00:16:05,349 And I respected my elders! 417 00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:07,848 That's because your daddy put you in military school. 418 00:16:07,915 --> 00:16:09,848 Our family has attended that fine institution 419 00:16:09,915 --> 00:16:11,848 ever since our great-great- great-great-granddaddy 420 00:16:11,915 --> 00:16:13,715 Colonel Bufford Preston founded that school! 421 00:16:13,782 --> 00:16:14,715 Harvey: We're ready now. 422 00:16:14,782 --> 00:16:16,715 I'm not going to that stupid school. 423 00:16:16,782 --> 00:16:17,715 Mom, tell him! 424 00:16:17,782 --> 00:16:18,848 Mom, tell him he is going. 425 00:16:18,915 --> 00:16:21,115 Floyd, perhaps if you spent some time with him, 426 00:16:21,182 --> 00:16:22,782 I mean, he needs your guidance. 427 00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:25,015 He needs what my daddy used to give me. 428 00:16:25,082 --> 00:16:27,082 A good old-fashioned kick in the aspidistra! 429 00:16:27,149 --> 00:16:28,082 Director: Action! 430 00:16:28,149 --> 00:16:29,115 What? 431 00:16:29,182 --> 00:16:31,748 How do you do? I'm Governor Floyd Preston. 432 00:16:31,815 --> 00:16:33,882 I'm here at home with my wonderful family. 433 00:16:33,948 --> 00:16:36,782 I'd like you to meet my charming wife Emily. 434 00:16:36,848 --> 00:16:39,847 I'm sorry that our daughter Priscilla can't be with us. 435 00:16:39,914 --> 00:16:41,481 She's away at school studying hard 436 00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:44,481 to one day follow in the great Preston family tradition. 437 00:16:44,547 --> 00:16:48,248 And over here is our fine son Robby. 438 00:16:48,314 --> 00:16:49,515 The Preston family name 439 00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:52,947 has always stood for good, wholesome American values, 440 00:16:53,014 --> 00:16:54,148 So, remember... 441 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:57,214 a vote for Floyd Preston is a vote for family. 442 00:16:57,281 --> 00:16:58,214 Director: Cut! 443 00:16:58,281 --> 00:16:59,881 Smile! Beautiful. 444 00:17:01,981 --> 00:17:03,981 Look, you'd better come up with something quick, 445 00:17:04,048 --> 00:17:05,547 or we're going to end up like this guy. 446 00:17:05,614 --> 00:17:06,547 Hey! 447 00:17:06,614 --> 00:17:09,148 Hey, Wally, I could use a little change. 448 00:17:09,214 --> 00:17:11,614 Yeah? Why don't you try Paris, huh? 449 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,580 Here, take this. Go ahead. 450 00:17:14,647 --> 00:17:16,580 [Whistling] Over here! 451 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:19,881 Sorry, lady. 452 00:17:19,947 --> 00:17:21,181 Hey, taxi! 453 00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,181 Hey, you're Wally Sparks. I'm your biggest fan. 454 00:17:23,248 --> 00:17:24,381 Hey, how you doing? 455 00:17:24,448 --> 00:17:26,048 Uh, we're in a hurry. Take us to Soho. 456 00:17:26,114 --> 00:17:27,081 You got it, lady. 457 00:17:27,148 --> 00:17:29,881 Hey, look at that! Wally Sparks! Hey, hey! 458 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,781 Driver: Let's go here! What is this? 459 00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:39,381 Ahh! 460 00:17:39,448 --> 00:17:41,181 Hey, Wally, my name is Tony. 461 00:17:41,248 --> 00:17:42,947 I can't believe you're here. 462 00:17:43,014 --> 00:17:45,646 Wait'll I tell the guys I had you in my cab. 463 00:17:45,713 --> 00:17:47,913 Hey, Tony, first of all, you never had me... 464 00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:49,746 Ha ha ha! You kill me! 465 00:17:49,813 --> 00:17:52,013 And if you did have me, it wouldn't be in a cab. 466 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,813 This guy kills me! He kills me! 467 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:56,180 Hey, Wally... 468 00:17:56,247 --> 00:17:57,980 I went out with a girl last night, 469 00:17:58,047 --> 00:17:59,247 and, boy, was she ugly. 470 00:17:59,313 --> 00:18:01,247 Oh, go ahead. How ugly, huh? 471 00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:03,047 She went to the plastic surgeon, 472 00:18:03,113 --> 00:18:04,746 he added a tail! 473 00:18:04,813 --> 00:18:06,546 Ha ha ha! All right. 474 00:18:06,613 --> 00:18:08,646 Uh, Tony, don't lose your hack license, huh? 475 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:09,980 Oh ho ho! 476 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,813 Wally, Spencer says he wants a total transformation, OK? 477 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,546 That means we got to have more newsworthy guests. 478 00:18:15,613 --> 00:18:18,047 Tonight is Governor Preston's campaign ball 479 00:18:18,113 --> 00:18:19,180 down in Atlanta. 480 00:18:19,247 --> 00:18:20,414 Listen to what he wrote you. 481 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,113 He says here he's sorry about the letter he sent you, 482 00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:25,380 and he's actually a really big fan 483 00:18:25,447 --> 00:18:28,080 and thinks it would be "awesome" to meet you in person. 484 00:18:28,147 --> 00:18:29,147 He said "awesome"? 485 00:18:29,213 --> 00:18:30,380 No kidding. 486 00:18:30,447 --> 00:18:31,780 Yeah. Maybe we could get him to be a guest on the show. 487 00:18:31,846 --> 00:18:32,846 Think of it-- 488 00:18:32,913 --> 00:18:34,813 "Moral majority Governor meets Wally Sparks." 489 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,480 Oh, Sandy, come down to earth, will you? 490 00:18:36,546 --> 00:18:37,980 The Governor, he's not going to do my show. 491 00:18:38,047 --> 00:18:39,313 Oh, come on, what have we got to lose? 492 00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:40,613 You know, let's go down there and find out. 493 00:18:40,679 --> 00:18:42,780 Yeah, Wally. Why don't you go down and find out? 494 00:18:42,846 --> 00:18:44,113 You think I should go, huh? 495 00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:45,113 Absolutely. Absolutely. 496 00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:48,080 What am I asking him for, huh? 497 00:18:48,147 --> 00:18:50,047 I don't know about Atlanta. I don't want to go. 498 00:18:50,113 --> 00:18:52,047 Oh, come on, Wally, don't go soft on me. 499 00:18:52,113 --> 00:18:55,012 Ooh, I hate when a woman says that to me. 500 00:18:55,079 --> 00:18:57,578 OK, Atlanta, here we come, all right? 501 00:18:57,645 --> 00:18:59,545 You talked me into it. 502 00:18:59,612 --> 00:19:01,479 We'll get there faster if we walk. 503 00:19:01,545 --> 00:19:02,979 Thanks a lot for being in my cab. 504 00:19:03,046 --> 00:19:03,979 Take care of yourself, huh? 505 00:19:04,046 --> 00:19:05,079 See you later. 506 00:19:05,146 --> 00:19:06,845 Go get 'em, baby! 507 00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:16,712 Ooh! 508 00:19:16,779 --> 00:19:17,712 Hey. 509 00:19:17,779 --> 00:19:20,212 Hey, this is some joint, huh? 510 00:19:20,279 --> 00:19:21,279 Yeah. We're in the South. 511 00:19:21,346 --> 00:19:22,279 Good evening. 512 00:19:22,346 --> 00:19:24,479 Wally Sparks and guest. 513 00:19:24,545 --> 00:19:26,845 Sir, are you aware this is a black-tie affair? 514 00:19:26,912 --> 00:19:28,812 Oh, indubitably. 515 00:19:28,879 --> 00:19:30,346 This way, please. 516 00:19:30,413 --> 00:19:31,979 All right, buddy. Take that, all right? 517 00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,645 And get me some grey poupon, huh? 518 00:19:33,712 --> 00:19:35,012 Here, hold my purse, would you? 519 00:19:35,079 --> 00:19:35,945 Yeah. 520 00:19:44,712 --> 00:19:45,645 Thank you. 521 00:19:45,712 --> 00:19:46,578 Certainly. 522 00:19:57,379 --> 00:19:59,446 Oh, a bit of the bubbly. 523 00:20:04,478 --> 00:20:06,412 OK, Sandy, what's the plan? 524 00:20:06,478 --> 00:20:09,245 First, give me back my purse. 525 00:20:09,311 --> 00:20:10,811 Come here. 526 00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:12,378 I snuck in your video camera. 527 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,311 Look, I cut a hole in my purse. 528 00:20:14,378 --> 00:20:16,178 We can shoot tape without anybody knowing. 529 00:20:16,245 --> 00:20:18,378 You go find the Governor, warm up to him, 530 00:20:18,445 --> 00:20:20,677 and ask him about appearing on the show, OK? 531 00:20:20,744 --> 00:20:23,178 Who knows what kind of juicy stuff we're going to get? 532 00:20:23,245 --> 00:20:24,677 I'm beginning to feel like 533 00:20:24,744 --> 00:20:26,178 a real investigative journalist. 534 00:20:26,245 --> 00:20:27,278 Well, good. 535 00:20:27,345 --> 00:20:28,944 I'll be at the bar investigating Jack Daniels. 536 00:20:29,011 --> 00:20:30,445 Oh, Emily, you look so fine. 537 00:20:30,512 --> 00:20:31,811 I can't believe it. 538 00:20:31,878 --> 00:20:34,045 Let's get that photo right over here. 539 00:20:34,111 --> 00:20:35,711 Let's look right over this way. 540 00:20:35,778 --> 00:20:37,078 Ha ha ha! 541 00:20:37,145 --> 00:20:38,744 Hey, bartender, give me a double anything 542 00:20:38,811 --> 00:20:40,378 on the double, will you? 543 00:20:40,445 --> 00:20:41,878 Wally Sparks! 544 00:20:41,944 --> 00:20:43,978 What are you doing at this square affair? 545 00:20:44,045 --> 00:20:46,078 Oh, I came here to spread joy. 546 00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,245 If I can find her. 547 00:20:47,311 --> 00:20:48,311 Ha ha ha! 548 00:20:48,378 --> 00:20:49,878 Hey, have you seen the Governor, huh? 549 00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:52,011 I haven't, but check this action out. 550 00:20:52,078 --> 00:20:53,011 Passion punch. 551 00:20:53,078 --> 00:20:55,145 Hey, what's your name? 552 00:20:55,211 --> 00:20:56,378 Lola. 553 00:20:56,445 --> 00:20:57,811 You're a cute chick. 554 00:20:57,878 --> 00:20:58,978 Hey, Lola, 555 00:20:59,045 --> 00:21:01,512 how about letting me be the rooster? 556 00:21:01,577 --> 00:21:03,577 Why don't you go pluck yourself? 557 00:21:03,644 --> 00:21:05,211 Oh, you got a quick tongue. 558 00:21:05,278 --> 00:21:06,711 That'll get you into trouble. 559 00:21:06,778 --> 00:21:08,210 Or get her out of trouble. 560 00:21:08,277 --> 00:21:09,710 Hoo, you bad, Wally! 561 00:21:09,777 --> 00:21:11,210 What kind of work you do, hon? 562 00:21:11,277 --> 00:21:12,210 I'm an actress. 563 00:21:12,277 --> 00:21:13,411 Let's get together. 564 00:21:13,477 --> 00:21:14,877 Maybe I can further your career. 565 00:21:14,943 --> 00:21:16,777 I don't believe in casual sex. 566 00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,743 Hey, it won't be casual. 567 00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:20,576 I'll keep my tie on. 568 00:21:20,643 --> 00:21:21,576 Enjoy yourself. 569 00:21:21,643 --> 00:21:22,576 Randal. 570 00:21:22,643 --> 00:21:23,576 Floyd. 571 00:21:23,643 --> 00:21:24,676 Randal. So glad you could come. 572 00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:26,477 I wouldn't miss this for the world. 573 00:21:26,543 --> 00:21:28,077 You have my support 100%. 574 00:21:28,144 --> 00:21:29,943 I can't tell you how happy that makes me to hear. 575 00:21:30,010 --> 00:21:31,743 I hope we can count on you for your support 576 00:21:31,810 --> 00:21:32,743 for the development 577 00:21:32,810 --> 00:21:34,210 of the new Civil War Theme park. 578 00:21:34,277 --> 00:21:36,144 My problem there is you want to put that park 579 00:21:36,210 --> 00:21:38,244 on a protected historical landmark. 580 00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:39,743 I know, I know, but it's going to mean 581 00:21:39,810 --> 00:21:41,177 millions and millions of revenue 582 00:21:41,244 --> 00:21:42,411 for the state, Floyd. 583 00:21:42,477 --> 00:21:44,576 The party is counting on you to do the right thing. 584 00:21:44,643 --> 00:21:46,444 Well, first I have to do right by this party. 585 00:21:46,511 --> 00:21:47,710 Can we chat about it later, gentlemen? 586 00:21:47,777 --> 00:21:48,710 Enjoy. 587 00:21:48,777 --> 00:21:49,710 Talk to you soon. Bye. 588 00:21:49,777 --> 00:21:50,710 Emily. 589 00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:52,210 [Raucous laughter] 590 00:21:54,977 --> 00:21:57,344 Hey, boys, you want to have some laughs? 591 00:21:57,411 --> 00:21:59,210 Take a porno movie and run it backwards. 592 00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:01,411 That way you see the hooker give back the money. 593 00:22:04,910 --> 00:22:06,144 Once in D.C., 594 00:22:06,210 --> 00:22:09,843 we will remember who our friends are, hmm? 595 00:22:09,910 --> 00:22:11,377 Oh! Oh... 596 00:22:11,444 --> 00:22:12,676 I'm so sorry... 597 00:22:12,743 --> 00:22:14,177 Oh, th-that's quite all right. 598 00:22:14,244 --> 00:22:15,776 I was due a fresh one anyway. 599 00:22:15,842 --> 00:22:18,109 Oh, wait. Here, let me get that. Wait. 600 00:22:18,176 --> 00:22:20,876 Oh, I think it's coming out. 601 00:22:20,942 --> 00:22:21,876 What? 602 00:22:21,942 --> 00:22:23,842 Oh, don't worry, it's just a little one. 603 00:22:23,909 --> 00:22:25,410 Ha! Um... yes. 604 00:22:25,476 --> 00:22:28,109 Oh... the stain. 605 00:22:28,176 --> 00:22:30,709 I don't think anyone's going to notice, huh? 606 00:22:30,776 --> 00:22:31,709 I'm Harvey Bishop, 607 00:22:31,776 --> 00:22:34,976 the Governor's campaign manager. 608 00:22:35,043 --> 00:22:36,443 You are? 609 00:22:36,510 --> 00:22:38,510 Well, hello! Hello there. 610 00:22:38,575 --> 00:22:39,709 Floyd, Floyd, 611 00:22:39,776 --> 00:22:41,510 did you see that strange man 612 00:22:41,575 --> 00:22:42,842 that was bothering us? 613 00:22:42,909 --> 00:22:44,842 What strange man are you talking about? 614 00:22:44,909 --> 00:22:46,575 He's wearing a red jacket with fireworks on it. 615 00:22:46,642 --> 00:22:47,575 No. What happened? 616 00:22:47,642 --> 00:22:48,842 Find him. 617 00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:50,809 Agent Cameron. Look, please find a guest, red jacket. 618 00:22:50,876 --> 00:22:52,443 Check out here, will you? 619 00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:59,309 Yes, my husband is the Canadian ambassador. 620 00:22:59,376 --> 00:23:02,276 You're from Canada, huh? What a place, Canada! 621 00:23:02,343 --> 00:23:04,642 They started a country, and nobody showed up, huh? 622 00:23:04,709 --> 00:23:06,176 I'm just kidding, folks. 623 00:23:06,243 --> 00:23:07,376 I'm Wally Sparks. 624 00:23:07,443 --> 00:23:09,109 Maybe you've seen my television show. 625 00:23:09,176 --> 00:23:11,876 Well, we don't watch much American television. 626 00:23:11,942 --> 00:23:13,609 Oh, that's too bad. I heard in Canada 627 00:23:13,675 --> 00:23:15,309 they only have sex doggie style. 628 00:23:15,376 --> 00:23:17,109 That way, you can both watch the hockey game. 629 00:23:17,176 --> 00:23:18,243 Ha ha! 630 00:23:18,309 --> 00:23:21,842 Ooh! Ah! Oh... 631 00:23:21,909 --> 00:23:23,674 Do me a favor, will you? 632 00:23:23,741 --> 00:23:25,375 Scratch my back, right back there. 633 00:23:25,442 --> 00:23:26,775 I got an itch right there, huh? 634 00:23:26,841 --> 00:23:28,775 Over here-- Will you get it? 635 00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:30,442 I've tried everything to lose weight, 636 00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:32,509 but just 2 more weeks on this cabbage diet, 637 00:23:32,574 --> 00:23:34,674 and my dietitian told me I'll have the body 638 00:23:34,741 --> 00:23:36,908 of a 16-year-old, heh heh heh! 639 00:23:36,975 --> 00:23:38,342 I know. I'm so excited! 640 00:23:38,409 --> 00:23:39,975 Oh, lady, stay right there, will you? 641 00:23:40,042 --> 00:23:41,208 Oh, that's the spot! 642 00:23:41,275 --> 00:23:42,208 Oh! 643 00:23:42,275 --> 00:23:43,875 Oh! Too much! Yeah! Yeah! 644 00:23:43,941 --> 00:23:44,908 Oh! 645 00:23:44,975 --> 00:23:46,242 Oh, that's the spot! 646 00:23:46,308 --> 00:23:47,674 Sparks! 647 00:23:47,741 --> 00:23:49,841 Oh, honey, oh, I'll marry you! 648 00:23:49,908 --> 00:23:51,941 Oh, I'll marry the dress, whatever you want. 649 00:23:52,008 --> 00:23:53,175 Harvey! 650 00:23:53,242 --> 00:23:54,808 Get over here! 651 00:23:54,875 --> 00:23:57,342 Excuse me, I'll be right back. 652 00:23:57,409 --> 00:23:58,409 What's happening? 653 00:23:58,475 --> 00:24:00,142 How did he get in here? 654 00:24:00,208 --> 00:24:01,674 Wally Sparks? 655 00:24:01,741 --> 00:24:03,242 You got it, honey, a trip to Puerto Rico, 656 00:24:03,308 --> 00:24:04,741 whatever you want. 657 00:24:04,808 --> 00:24:06,075 You're a genius. Oh! Yeah! 658 00:24:06,142 --> 00:24:07,574 Surely his name wasn't on the guest list? 659 00:24:07,641 --> 00:24:08,574 No, sir-- 660 00:24:08,641 --> 00:24:09,741 [Muttering] 661 00:24:09,808 --> 00:24:11,574 No, sir, no! We do not want to create a scene. 662 00:24:11,641 --> 00:24:14,075 Let me check the guest list. 663 00:24:14,142 --> 00:24:15,574 Oh, that's it, baby. 664 00:24:15,641 --> 00:24:18,975 Now, stick around, will you? I may get jock itch. 665 00:24:28,409 --> 00:24:29,375 [Music ends] 666 00:24:29,442 --> 00:24:30,442 [Applause] 667 00:24:30,509 --> 00:24:34,074 Well, it's legit, sir. Here's his invitation. 668 00:24:34,141 --> 00:24:36,707 How on earth could this have happened? 669 00:24:36,774 --> 00:24:38,441 I don't know. 670 00:24:41,007 --> 00:24:43,907 [Paper Doll plays] 671 00:24:43,974 --> 00:24:45,874 Hey, you two should find a room. 672 00:24:49,241 --> 00:24:51,673 You two should find a warehouse. 673 00:24:52,807 --> 00:24:53,673 Yes! 674 00:24:55,508 --> 00:24:56,940 Governor Preston. 675 00:24:57,007 --> 00:24:58,374 It's so nice to see you again. 676 00:24:58,441 --> 00:24:59,607 Why, yes. Hello. 677 00:24:59,673 --> 00:25:01,607 I do hope you'll save a dance for me for later on. 678 00:25:01,673 --> 00:25:02,607 Why, sure I will. 679 00:25:02,673 --> 00:25:03,607 Mrs. Preston. 680 00:25:03,673 --> 00:25:05,141 Hello. 681 00:25:05,207 --> 00:25:06,141 Floyd, who was that? 682 00:25:06,207 --> 00:25:07,573 I have no idea. 683 00:25:17,807 --> 00:25:19,474 What a party. 684 00:25:19,540 --> 00:25:21,041 Looks like the unhappy hour. 685 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,408 Hi. You come here often? 686 00:25:27,474 --> 00:25:29,707 Don't worry, honey, I'm not making a play for you. 687 00:25:29,774 --> 00:25:32,441 I don't want this guy-- Oh! 688 00:25:32,508 --> 00:25:33,607 Oh... 689 00:25:38,839 --> 00:25:39,773 Oh, I'm sorry. 690 00:25:41,539 --> 00:25:43,340 [Voices approaching] 691 00:25:46,407 --> 00:25:47,672 Woman: Good evening, sir. 692 00:25:47,739 --> 00:25:49,240 Hi. Ha ha. 693 00:25:49,306 --> 00:25:51,507 It's, uh... quite a night, huh? 694 00:25:51,572 --> 00:25:53,440 It certainly is, sir. 695 00:25:53,507 --> 00:25:55,073 Yeah. 696 00:25:55,140 --> 00:25:56,507 [Tiger Rag plays] 697 00:26:04,639 --> 00:26:06,773 Ooh... oh, wow! Gross! 698 00:26:06,839 --> 00:26:09,240 How come they're all staring at me? 699 00:26:09,306 --> 00:26:12,273 They must recognize you from the show. 700 00:26:12,340 --> 00:26:14,140 Oh, there's Governor Preston. 701 00:26:14,206 --> 00:26:15,806 Remember, be charming. 702 00:26:15,873 --> 00:26:17,140 Why, don't I look charming? 703 00:26:17,206 --> 00:26:19,606 Oh, God, Harvey, they're coming this way. 704 00:26:24,206 --> 00:26:25,440 I can see that. 705 00:26:25,507 --> 00:26:26,939 Governor Preston? I'm Sandy Gallo. 706 00:26:27,006 --> 00:26:28,639 I produce The Wally Sparks Show. 707 00:26:28,706 --> 00:26:31,373 I'd like you to meet Wally Sparks. 708 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,173 Hey, Governor, how are you, huh? 709 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,040 You don't know how excited I am to meet you, ha ha! 710 00:26:36,106 --> 00:26:37,040 [Crash, tinkle] 711 00:26:37,106 --> 00:26:38,040 [Coughing] 712 00:26:38,106 --> 00:26:39,672 By the way, thanks for the invite. 713 00:26:39,739 --> 00:26:41,706 You got a hell of a shindig going on here. 714 00:26:41,773 --> 00:26:43,373 How do you do? I'm Emily Preston-- 715 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,140 How do you do, baby? 716 00:26:45,206 --> 00:26:47,305 Hey, Governor, I found out you're a big fan of mine. 717 00:26:47,372 --> 00:26:48,772 You know, how about doing my show? 718 00:26:48,838 --> 00:26:51,638 I'll fly you to New York, first-class, nice room. 719 00:26:51,705 --> 00:26:54,072 You want some company, I'll work that out, too-- 720 00:26:54,139 --> 00:26:55,205 What does he mean by company? 721 00:26:55,272 --> 00:26:57,139 I have no idea. Oh, your friend wants you. 722 00:26:57,205 --> 00:26:58,372 Oh, thanks. Excuse me. 723 00:26:58,439 --> 00:27:00,072 I need some ice here. 724 00:27:00,139 --> 00:27:02,072 You don't need that, do you, buddy? 725 00:27:02,139 --> 00:27:03,872 OK? Good. 726 00:27:03,938 --> 00:27:06,105 Governor? You promised me a dance. 727 00:27:06,172 --> 00:27:08,838 Your timing couldn't be better. 728 00:27:08,905 --> 00:27:10,905 Company. I see. 729 00:27:10,972 --> 00:27:12,005 Wally, there's the Governor's wife. 730 00:27:12,072 --> 00:27:13,705 Why don't you go grab her and dance with her? 731 00:27:13,772 --> 00:27:14,972 I'll get it on tape. 732 00:27:15,039 --> 00:27:16,205 - Yeah? - Yeah. Go on. 733 00:27:16,272 --> 00:27:17,671 Yeah. 734 00:27:17,738 --> 00:27:19,571 Hey, buddy, hold that for me. 735 00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:20,872 Emily, baby, come here. 736 00:27:20,938 --> 00:27:22,538 Let's show them how to do it, baby. 737 00:27:22,605 --> 00:27:23,705 Oh, no, thank you-- 738 00:27:23,772 --> 00:27:26,305 Ah, come on, you'll enjoy it. 739 00:27:26,372 --> 00:27:29,305 You never told me you worked for Wally Sparks. 740 00:27:29,372 --> 00:27:33,039 Oh, Harv, there's a lot of things I've never told you. 741 00:27:33,105 --> 00:27:36,406 I'm a very deep... caring... sensual... 742 00:27:36,472 --> 00:27:38,805 giving person, you know? 743 00:27:38,872 --> 00:27:41,571 You know what I'd like more than anything right now? 744 00:27:41,638 --> 00:27:42,571 What's that? 745 00:27:42,638 --> 00:27:43,905 Sex on the beach. 746 00:27:43,972 --> 00:27:45,139 I'll get the car. 747 00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:46,605 Wait a second, honey. 748 00:27:46,671 --> 00:27:47,838 It's just a drink. 749 00:27:47,905 --> 00:27:48,872 Oh. 750 00:27:48,938 --> 00:27:50,538 - Why don't you get us 2, OK? - Yeah. 751 00:27:50,605 --> 00:27:52,072 - Be a doll. - All right. 752 00:27:52,139 --> 00:27:53,239 All right. 753 00:27:53,305 --> 00:27:55,004 [Tango music playing] 754 00:27:56,737 --> 00:27:57,771 Oh! 755 00:28:15,604 --> 00:28:17,204 Oh! 756 00:28:17,271 --> 00:28:19,637 Excuse me. 757 00:28:19,704 --> 00:28:21,238 Oh... 758 00:28:21,304 --> 00:28:23,570 Aah... 759 00:28:23,637 --> 00:28:26,171 Senator Floyd Preston. Whoo! I like the sound of that. 760 00:28:31,871 --> 00:28:34,637 Oh! Oh! Ah! 761 00:28:34,704 --> 00:28:37,438 Hey, who knows? Someday you could be the first lady. 762 00:28:39,038 --> 00:28:40,405 The question is, 763 00:28:40,471 --> 00:28:42,737 was the Governor the first man? 764 00:28:42,804 --> 00:28:44,604 Whoa! 765 00:28:44,670 --> 00:28:47,104 We met in Savannah at your campaign rally, 766 00:28:47,171 --> 00:28:48,904 but you probably don't remember. 767 00:28:48,971 --> 00:28:50,771 Floyd! 768 00:28:50,837 --> 00:28:52,871 We both had an awful lot to drink that night. 769 00:28:52,937 --> 00:28:54,971 You have me confused with someone else. 770 00:28:55,038 --> 00:28:56,004 Whoo! 771 00:28:56,071 --> 00:28:57,204 Oh! 772 00:28:57,271 --> 00:28:59,171 Please, sir! 773 00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:00,271 Oh! 774 00:29:00,338 --> 00:29:01,304 Oh! 775 00:29:01,371 --> 00:29:03,070 Pardon me. 776 00:29:03,137 --> 00:29:04,669 Olé! 777 00:29:07,070 --> 00:29:08,504 Oh, my God... 778 00:29:08,569 --> 00:29:09,504 Oh! 779 00:29:09,569 --> 00:29:11,936 Wally: Oh, my big dipper! 780 00:29:12,003 --> 00:29:14,536 Ah-- Oh! 781 00:29:14,603 --> 00:29:16,636 Oh! Oh! Oh! 782 00:29:16,703 --> 00:29:18,137 Whoa! 783 00:29:19,569 --> 00:29:21,303 OK, baby, big finish. Slap it down. 784 00:29:21,370 --> 00:29:22,870 Ohh... oh! 785 00:29:22,936 --> 00:29:25,137 Now, that wasn't so hard, was it? 786 00:29:25,203 --> 00:29:26,203 Excuse me. 787 00:29:30,669 --> 00:29:32,936 Hey, buddy, I'll take one of those. 788 00:29:33,003 --> 00:29:34,103 Yes, sir. 789 00:29:34,170 --> 00:29:35,903 Thanks. 790 00:29:35,970 --> 00:29:37,669 [Jazzy Liebestraum plays] 791 00:29:41,970 --> 00:29:42,903 Canapé, ma'am? 792 00:29:42,970 --> 00:29:44,404 No, thank you. 793 00:29:44,470 --> 00:29:45,770 ...really try this diet, Diane. 794 00:29:45,836 --> 00:29:47,603 Well, it's a strict vegetarian diet, 795 00:29:47,669 --> 00:29:50,504 but I can eat vegetables, olives, 796 00:29:50,569 --> 00:29:52,504 it absolutely drives my husband crazy 797 00:29:52,569 --> 00:29:54,569 that I won't eat meat anymore. 798 00:29:54,636 --> 00:29:55,569 Eww! 799 00:29:55,636 --> 00:29:57,936 Emily: Oh, look who it is! Oh, my God! 800 00:29:58,003 --> 00:29:59,736 Bless your heart for coming, sir. 801 00:29:59,803 --> 00:30:01,470 Governor, great to be here. 802 00:30:01,536 --> 00:30:03,003 Or should I say Senator? 803 00:30:03,070 --> 00:30:04,370 Well, I hope you should. 804 00:30:04,437 --> 00:30:06,237 Could we talk you into singing for us tonight? 805 00:30:06,303 --> 00:30:07,270 I would love to, 806 00:30:07,337 --> 00:30:08,736 but this throat's a little sore tonight. 807 00:30:08,803 --> 00:30:09,735 Aww... Aww... 808 00:30:09,802 --> 00:30:11,236 Don't even talk about it. Say no more. 809 00:30:11,302 --> 00:30:12,635 I'll get you some tea. 810 00:30:12,702 --> 00:30:13,802 Wally Sparks! 811 00:30:13,869 --> 00:30:15,769 Hey, Michael, baby, this is wild. How are you? 812 00:30:15,835 --> 00:30:17,735 Good to see you. You know, I tell you, though, 813 00:30:17,802 --> 00:30:19,436 I went out with this girl last week. 814 00:30:19,503 --> 00:30:21,535 She was so ugly, I took her to the beach, 815 00:30:21,602 --> 00:30:23,369 they wanted to know what I used for bait. 816 00:30:23,436 --> 00:30:24,735 Hey, Michael, 817 00:30:24,802 --> 00:30:27,702 you're going to sing for us tonight, aren't you? 818 00:30:27,769 --> 00:30:29,969 Mr. Sparks, we mustn't impose. Sore throat... 819 00:30:30,036 --> 00:30:31,902 Know what, Wally? For you, anything. 820 00:30:36,169 --> 00:30:37,036 [Applause] 821 00:30:40,436 --> 00:30:41,668 Folks, uh... 822 00:30:41,735 --> 00:30:44,535 I want to dedicate this song to a great, great state... 823 00:30:44,602 --> 00:30:45,568 Hear, hear! 824 00:30:45,635 --> 00:30:48,102 and to a very special friend of mine. 825 00:30:48,169 --> 00:30:50,835 The coolest guy I know, 826 00:30:50,902 --> 00:30:51,835 Wally Sparks. 827 00:30:51,902 --> 00:30:53,769 [Music starts] 828 00:30:59,469 --> 00:31:01,436 * Georgia * 829 00:31:04,602 --> 00:31:06,635 * Georgia * 830 00:31:10,102 --> 00:31:14,902 * The whole day through * 831 00:31:16,302 --> 00:31:19,734 * Just an old sweet song * 832 00:31:19,801 --> 00:31:22,402 [Blows nose loudly] 833 00:31:22,468 --> 00:31:29,834 * Keeps Georgia on my mind * 834 00:31:34,301 --> 00:31:35,368 Oh! 835 00:31:37,168 --> 00:31:38,101 Hi. 836 00:31:38,168 --> 00:31:39,667 Hi. 837 00:31:39,734 --> 00:31:40,801 Cheers. 838 00:31:46,301 --> 00:31:48,801 [Whispering] Wally, come here. Come here! 839 00:31:52,201 --> 00:31:54,601 The camera fell in the punch bowl. 840 00:31:54,667 --> 00:31:55,734 Yeah? Ohh... 841 00:31:59,968 --> 00:32:01,101 ...some punch. 842 00:32:03,301 --> 00:32:05,168 Oh, great. Here comes somebody. 843 00:32:07,901 --> 00:32:10,734 I want to see if it's the right temperature. 844 00:32:13,734 --> 00:32:15,301 Here, put it in the bag. 845 00:32:26,267 --> 00:32:27,234 Damn. 846 00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:29,767 The punch must've shorted this thing out. 847 00:32:29,833 --> 00:32:32,100 It could be the TV. 848 00:32:32,167 --> 00:32:33,467 Sometimes with this stuff, 849 00:32:33,533 --> 00:32:35,167 you just have to hit it 850 00:32:35,234 --> 00:32:36,501 and it works, you know? 851 00:32:36,566 --> 00:32:38,200 Hey, look at this. It says "Screen." 852 00:32:38,267 --> 00:32:39,600 Maybe this'll fix it, huh? 853 00:32:42,367 --> 00:32:44,334 Excuse me just a moment. I'm sorry. 854 00:32:44,401 --> 00:32:46,067 Oh, sure. 855 00:32:46,134 --> 00:32:47,566 Excuse me, darling, I'm sorry, 856 00:32:47,633 --> 00:32:49,200 But I think Harvey might be running 857 00:32:49,267 --> 00:32:50,367 a new campaign commercial. 858 00:32:50,434 --> 00:32:51,467 I had no idea 859 00:32:51,533 --> 00:32:53,167 there was going to be a screen presentation. 860 00:32:53,234 --> 00:32:54,434 Will you excuse me, gentlemen? 861 00:32:54,501 --> 00:32:55,933 Ladies and gentlemen-- Sorry, band? Please. 862 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:56,933 [Band stops] 863 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,401 Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, 864 00:32:58,467 --> 00:33:00,367 if you'd join us down at this end of the room, 865 00:33:00,434 --> 00:33:02,833 we're going to show you a little film presentation. 866 00:33:02,900 --> 00:33:04,633 I hope this will prove to you 867 00:33:04,700 --> 00:33:07,234 that we always try to use your contributions 868 00:33:07,300 --> 00:33:09,467 in a mature, responsible manner. 869 00:33:09,533 --> 00:33:11,034 [Panting, moaning] 870 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,733 My God, it's a... 871 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,867 Well, I never... 872 00:33:18,933 --> 00:33:20,800 How did this get on there? 873 00:33:20,867 --> 00:33:24,000 I must've taped over Joey's porno. 874 00:33:24,067 --> 00:33:27,767 Floyd, why is that man in such pain? 875 00:33:27,833 --> 00:33:29,933 Is he one of your supporters? 876 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,367 [Faster breathing] 877 00:33:36,133 --> 00:33:37,766 Hey, here we go. We got something. 878 00:33:37,832 --> 00:33:39,699 Ha! Thank God. It's about time. 879 00:33:39,766 --> 00:33:42,133 Now, my wife has tried every diet on the planet, 880 00:33:42,199 --> 00:33:44,366 and her ass is still as wide as the Mississippi. 881 00:33:44,433 --> 00:33:45,299 Oh! 882 00:33:49,266 --> 00:33:50,199 Oh, Helen. 883 00:33:50,266 --> 00:33:52,199 Oh, what a terrible-- Randal! 884 00:33:52,266 --> 00:33:54,066 Look at this. The rewind button, 885 00:33:54,133 --> 00:33:56,066 it's stuck! 886 00:33:56,133 --> 00:33:56,999 Owowoh! 887 00:33:58,366 --> 00:33:59,899 Owowoh! 888 00:34:01,433 --> 00:34:02,299 Owowoh! 889 00:34:04,033 --> 00:34:04,899 Owowoh! 890 00:34:06,932 --> 00:34:07,899 [Laughter] 891 00:34:12,932 --> 00:34:14,699 Check you out. 892 00:34:14,766 --> 00:34:17,832 Owowoh! Owowoh! Owowoh! Owowoh! 893 00:34:17,899 --> 00:34:19,299 Harvey? 894 00:34:19,366 --> 00:34:20,732 Harvey! Harvey! 895 00:34:20,799 --> 00:34:21,832 Harvey? 896 00:34:21,899 --> 00:34:23,033 - Here I am. - Right now. 897 00:34:23,099 --> 00:34:24,133 - Yes, sir. - Do something now! 898 00:34:24,199 --> 00:34:25,966 - Now, Harvey! - Yes, sir. 899 00:34:26,033 --> 00:34:28,466 We got nothing. That tape is ruined. 900 00:34:28,532 --> 00:34:30,766 Ah, so sue me. 901 00:34:30,832 --> 00:34:32,832 OK, back to work. 902 00:34:32,899 --> 00:34:34,632 Come on. I need a drink. 903 00:34:44,499 --> 00:34:45,432 Dave. 904 00:34:45,499 --> 00:34:46,931 Isn't he beautiful? 905 00:34:46,998 --> 00:34:48,132 Mm-hmm. 906 00:34:48,198 --> 00:34:49,998 I had to outbid 2 other buyers. 907 00:34:50,065 --> 00:34:51,531 Worth every penny. 908 00:34:51,598 --> 00:34:53,365 You gonna race 'im, Floyd? 909 00:34:53,432 --> 00:34:55,165 No, no, no. Not this boy. 910 00:34:55,232 --> 00:34:57,032 I'm putting him out to stud. 911 00:34:57,098 --> 00:34:58,564 Thank you, Nancy, very much. 912 00:34:58,631 --> 00:34:59,965 Folks, they're about to serve dessert. 913 00:35:00,032 --> 00:35:01,465 Why don't we head back on in? 914 00:35:01,531 --> 00:35:03,564 Nancy, come up to the house for some supper 915 00:35:03,631 --> 00:35:04,499 when you're through. 916 00:35:13,865 --> 00:35:14,831 How are you? 917 00:35:14,898 --> 00:35:16,931 Hi. 918 00:35:16,998 --> 00:35:20,664 Hey, how are you doing, boy? 919 00:35:20,731 --> 00:35:24,365 So, they're going to send you out to stud, huh? 920 00:35:26,198 --> 00:35:28,865 Whoa! They'll be flocking all over you. 921 00:35:32,365 --> 00:35:35,298 I know, it's rude to drink alone, huh? 922 00:35:35,365 --> 00:35:37,598 You thirsty? I'll take care of that. 923 00:35:40,564 --> 00:35:42,032 Here you are. 924 00:35:42,098 --> 00:35:44,631 Yeah, I know how it is, baby. 925 00:35:44,698 --> 00:35:47,198 I know how it is. There you go, baby. 926 00:35:47,265 --> 00:35:49,498 OK, here, all you want. 927 00:35:49,563 --> 00:35:50,498 [Slurping] 928 00:35:50,563 --> 00:35:53,131 Go ahead. Hey, have a party. 929 00:35:53,197 --> 00:35:57,131 I promise I won't take advantage of you. 930 00:35:57,197 --> 00:35:58,064 [Dixie plays] 931 00:36:02,064 --> 00:36:03,797 Now, let's welcome to the stage 932 00:36:03,864 --> 00:36:05,297 our great Governor. 933 00:36:05,364 --> 00:36:07,297 He'll have our respect and the nation's 934 00:36:07,364 --> 00:36:09,663 as our next United States Senator-- 935 00:36:09,730 --> 00:36:11,197 Floyd Preston 936 00:36:11,264 --> 00:36:13,164 and our lovely hostess Emily! 937 00:36:16,997 --> 00:36:18,930 Thank you, thank you so much. 938 00:36:18,997 --> 00:36:20,498 Governor: Thank you, Randal. 939 00:36:20,563 --> 00:36:22,197 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you... 940 00:36:22,264 --> 00:36:23,331 thank you all very much. 941 00:36:23,398 --> 00:36:24,797 I want to thank you for being here... 942 00:36:24,864 --> 00:36:25,830 [Clinking] 943 00:36:25,897 --> 00:36:27,697 and for your many generous contributions. 944 00:36:27,764 --> 00:36:31,164 I know this has been a rough campaign, 945 00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:33,097 but I assure you, we will-- 946 00:36:33,164 --> 00:36:35,197 [Shouting] No! No! 947 00:36:35,264 --> 00:36:36,264 We will ride on... 948 00:36:36,331 --> 00:36:37,597 to victory-- 949 00:36:37,663 --> 00:36:39,231 Oh! Aah! 950 00:36:46,164 --> 00:36:47,464 [Whinny] 951 00:36:47,530 --> 00:36:48,597 Jericho! 952 00:36:48,663 --> 00:36:51,663 Wally: Get out of the way! 953 00:36:51,730 --> 00:36:53,398 Jericho! 954 00:36:56,796 --> 00:36:58,896 Is that horse too rough for you? 955 00:36:58,963 --> 00:37:01,263 Oh, my God... 956 00:37:01,330 --> 00:37:03,330 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 957 00:37:03,397 --> 00:37:06,263 Hey, stop it! What is this, foreplay? 958 00:37:06,330 --> 00:37:07,662 Emily: Don't panic, anybody, please! 959 00:37:07,729 --> 00:37:09,263 Do not tip the valets. 960 00:37:09,330 --> 00:37:11,497 They have already been taken care of. 961 00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:12,929 Wha-what are you doing there, sir? 962 00:37:12,996 --> 00:37:14,330 Whoa! Slow down, will you? 963 00:37:14,397 --> 00:37:16,662 Sparks! Get off my horse! 964 00:37:16,729 --> 00:37:18,030 Oh, my goodness! 965 00:37:18,096 --> 00:37:19,829 Just... Jericho! 966 00:37:19,896 --> 00:37:21,996 Watch the vermin on your right, sir! 967 00:37:22,063 --> 00:37:23,330 How do you stop this thing? 968 00:37:23,397 --> 00:37:25,163 I need a designated rider. 969 00:37:25,230 --> 00:37:26,662 Whoa! 970 00:37:26,729 --> 00:37:28,263 Oh, my God! 971 00:37:28,330 --> 00:37:29,463 You are desecrating the flag 972 00:37:29,529 --> 00:37:30,629 of the sacred state of-- 973 00:37:30,696 --> 00:37:32,196 Governor, look out, will you? 974 00:37:32,263 --> 00:37:35,063 Mr. Sparks, would you mind yourself, please? 975 00:37:35,130 --> 00:37:36,529 Whoa, boy... 976 00:37:36,596 --> 00:37:38,596 Easy, boy, easy... 977 00:37:38,662 --> 00:37:41,696 Calm yourself, boy. Good lad. 978 00:37:41,763 --> 00:37:43,296 Wally: What are you looking at? 979 00:37:43,363 --> 00:37:44,796 Hey, no more for you. 980 00:37:44,863 --> 00:37:45,829 The bar's closed. 981 00:37:45,896 --> 00:37:47,562 Ohh... yeah. 982 00:37:49,463 --> 00:37:50,529 Let's get out of here! 983 00:37:50,596 --> 00:37:51,963 [Whinny] 984 00:37:52,030 --> 00:37:53,662 Oh! 985 00:37:53,729 --> 00:37:55,296 Look out! 986 00:37:55,363 --> 00:37:56,363 He's gonna blow! 987 00:37:56,430 --> 00:37:57,696 Run! 988 00:38:01,963 --> 00:38:05,095 Run for your lives! Drunk horse! 989 00:38:05,162 --> 00:38:07,129 Good night. Call me. 990 00:38:07,195 --> 00:38:09,295 Hey, I thought we were friends. Aah! 991 00:38:09,362 --> 00:38:10,962 [Whinny] 992 00:38:11,029 --> 00:38:13,462 Aah! 993 00:38:18,862 --> 00:38:21,329 I really hate that man. 994 00:38:21,396 --> 00:38:23,229 Floyd... 995 00:38:23,295 --> 00:38:25,295 get down from there. 996 00:38:25,362 --> 00:38:26,995 [Horse snorts] 997 00:38:28,396 --> 00:38:30,862 In a bizarre accident here at the Governor's mansion, 998 00:38:30,928 --> 00:38:33,462 talk show host Wally Sparks heroically restrained 999 00:38:33,528 --> 00:38:35,396 a maniacal horse from injuring the Governor 1000 00:38:35,462 --> 00:38:36,928 and his party guests. 1001 00:38:36,995 --> 00:38:39,029 The Governor's prize thoroughbred Jericho 1002 00:38:39,095 --> 00:38:42,496 was not seriously injured, b-b-but they say he's... 1003 00:38:42,561 --> 00:38:44,528 suffering from a severe hangover. 1004 00:38:44,595 --> 00:38:47,795 This ain't going to hurt you one bit, baby. 1005 00:38:47,862 --> 00:38:50,029 All right, grease him up there. 1006 00:38:50,095 --> 00:38:52,229 OK, give me that butt grease. 1007 00:38:52,295 --> 00:38:53,862 This is stuttering John reporting to you from Georgia, 1008 00:38:53,928 --> 00:38:55,095 and this is freaking disgusting, 1009 00:38:55,162 --> 00:38:56,362 and I'm out of here. 1010 00:38:56,429 --> 00:38:58,628 Wally Sparks' condition is still unknown at this time. 1011 00:38:58,695 --> 00:39:00,129 Stories are rapidly spreading 1012 00:39:00,195 --> 00:39:01,928 that the controversial TV talkster's injuries 1013 00:39:01,995 --> 00:39:03,129 may prove fatal. 1014 00:39:03,195 --> 00:39:05,528 He's said to be resting in the Governor's bedroom. 1015 00:39:10,095 --> 00:39:11,694 Wally: Oh, honey, I love you. 1016 00:39:11,761 --> 00:39:13,461 Baby, I love you, don't fight me. 1017 00:39:13,527 --> 00:39:15,961 Do the right thing, now, come on, baby. 1018 00:39:16,028 --> 00:39:17,461 Don't fight me. 1019 00:39:17,527 --> 00:39:19,161 Do the right thing, will you? Come on, huh? 1020 00:39:19,228 --> 00:39:20,161 Wally. 1021 00:39:20,228 --> 00:39:21,627 Oh, baby, I love you. Come here, baby... 1022 00:39:21,694 --> 00:39:23,927 Hey, Wally, come on, wake up! 1023 00:39:23,994 --> 00:39:26,328 Wally, wake up. Hey. 1024 00:39:26,395 --> 00:39:27,560 Oh, it's you. 1025 00:39:27,627 --> 00:39:29,495 Yeah. You all right? 1026 00:39:29,594 --> 00:39:31,328 Boy, I really poured one on. 1027 00:39:31,395 --> 00:39:32,627 Yeah, you did. 1028 00:39:32,694 --> 00:39:33,627 My head. 1029 00:39:33,694 --> 00:39:35,660 I got hammered. 1030 00:39:35,727 --> 00:39:37,461 Look at the publicity you're getting. 1031 00:39:37,527 --> 00:39:41,061 Your accident was a gigantic media event. 1032 00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:45,861 You can't buy this kind of publicity. 1033 00:39:45,927 --> 00:39:47,560 Stop the presses! 1034 00:39:47,627 --> 00:39:50,128 I'm just about to be brilliant. 1035 00:39:50,194 --> 00:39:52,228 This... is how we're going to save the show! 1036 00:39:56,761 --> 00:39:58,861 We'll tell them that you injured your back. 1037 00:39:58,927 --> 00:40:01,395 Doctors can't prove a phony back injury with an X-ray. 1038 00:40:01,461 --> 00:40:03,727 Then we'll say you can't be moved, 1039 00:40:03,794 --> 00:40:05,861 and you're going to stay here till you can walk. 1040 00:40:05,927 --> 00:40:08,395 Well, what do I want to stay here for? 1041 00:40:08,461 --> 00:40:09,694 So you can do the show! 1042 00:40:09,761 --> 00:40:11,927 Here, drink this. You'll feel better. 1043 00:40:11,994 --> 00:40:13,128 Do what show? 1044 00:40:13,194 --> 00:40:15,527 What show? "Live, from the Governor's mansion, 1045 00:40:15,594 --> 00:40:17,161 The Wally Sparks Show!" 1046 00:40:17,228 --> 00:40:18,960 What are you trying to prove, 1047 00:40:19,027 --> 00:40:21,427 little things mean a lot? 1048 00:40:21,494 --> 00:40:24,893 I'm telling you, Wally, it'll work. 1049 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,260 Oh, Sandy, I don't know, you know? 1050 00:40:26,327 --> 00:40:27,659 I mean, I don't know what to do. 1051 00:40:27,726 --> 00:40:29,659 I mean, the Governor, he's been so nice to us. 1052 00:40:29,726 --> 00:40:31,826 I feel like we're taking advantage of the guy. 1053 00:40:31,893 --> 00:40:32,826 Wow! 1054 00:40:32,893 --> 00:40:35,460 You look a lot fatter than you do on TV. 1055 00:40:35,526 --> 00:40:37,460 Yeah? And I'm tougher, too. Who are you? 1056 00:40:37,526 --> 00:40:39,559 Robby Preston, the Governor's son. 1057 00:40:39,626 --> 00:40:41,559 I invited you guys to the party. 1058 00:40:41,626 --> 00:40:42,926 Wait, you sent the invitation? 1059 00:40:42,993 --> 00:40:46,127 Oh, yeah! I'm Wally's biggest fan. 1060 00:40:46,193 --> 00:40:48,394 [Imitating Wally] Hey, she's a wild girl. 1061 00:40:48,460 --> 00:40:50,427 She put on a virgin wool sweater, 1062 00:40:50,494 --> 00:40:52,227 her body rejected it. 1063 00:40:52,293 --> 00:40:53,826 This kid's all right. 1064 00:40:53,893 --> 00:40:56,993 I can't hear you. This jacket's too loud! 1065 00:40:57,060 --> 00:40:59,160 Hey, kid, you're all right, you know? 1066 00:40:59,227 --> 00:41:01,626 But I thought your father invited me to this party. 1067 00:41:01,693 --> 00:41:02,760 Oh, no. 1068 00:41:02,826 --> 00:41:05,494 You're the last person on earth he wants to see. 1069 00:41:05,559 --> 00:41:08,227 He hates your guts. He thinks you're slime. 1070 00:41:08,293 --> 00:41:09,893 That's why I love you so much. 1071 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,193 Is that a compliment, or what? 1072 00:41:12,260 --> 00:41:13,960 What are you doing in here, huh? 1073 00:41:14,027 --> 00:41:16,826 Eavesdropping. Heard everything you guys said. 1074 00:41:16,893 --> 00:41:18,760 But don't worry. I won't rat. 1075 00:41:18,826 --> 00:41:20,127 Besides, 1076 00:41:20,193 --> 00:41:22,693 I'm the second-to-last person on earth 1077 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:24,127 my dad wants to see. 1078 00:41:26,026 --> 00:41:28,459 Is this true? Is this true? 1079 00:41:28,525 --> 00:41:29,959 I'm over here, putz. 1080 00:41:30,026 --> 00:41:31,259 Is this true? 1081 00:41:31,326 --> 00:41:35,558 Is he really doing the show from a wheelchair? 1082 00:41:35,625 --> 00:41:37,592 What a stroke of luck. 1083 00:41:37,658 --> 00:41:39,759 Wally paralyzed... 1084 00:41:39,825 --> 00:41:41,459 in the Governor's mansion. 1085 00:41:41,525 --> 00:41:44,426 Sir, what if this is one of Sparks' wild stunts 1086 00:41:44,493 --> 00:41:45,859 just to save his show? 1087 00:41:45,925 --> 00:41:47,959 Maybe I should go down there and investigate. 1088 00:41:48,026 --> 00:41:50,393 I'll prove to you he's concocted the whole thing-- 1089 00:41:50,459 --> 00:41:51,393 Miller. 1090 00:41:51,459 --> 00:41:52,393 Yes, sir? 1091 00:41:52,459 --> 00:41:54,692 I think you need a woman. 1092 00:41:54,759 --> 00:41:55,992 Oh, sir, I-- 1093 00:41:56,059 --> 00:41:57,825 Even if she's expensive. 1094 00:41:57,892 --> 00:41:59,558 O... K. 1095 00:42:00,692 --> 00:42:02,525 Governor Floyd Preston and his supporters 1096 00:42:02,592 --> 00:42:04,692 have just finished their presentation 1097 00:42:04,759 --> 00:42:06,558 in opposition to the development 1098 00:42:06,625 --> 00:42:08,359 of a Civil War Theme park 1099 00:42:08,426 --> 00:42:09,859 planned to be developed 1100 00:42:09,925 --> 00:42:11,692 right here on this historical landmark. 1101 00:42:11,759 --> 00:42:13,692 [Fifes and drums playing When Johnny Comes Marching Home] 1102 00:42:13,759 --> 00:42:14,692 Thank you. 1103 00:42:14,759 --> 00:42:16,825 I love working with a trio. 1104 00:42:16,892 --> 00:42:18,959 Next week they open in Vegas. 1105 00:42:19,026 --> 00:42:21,092 I'll be in the lounge. Cut. 1106 00:42:21,159 --> 00:42:22,825 Governor, if you kick him out, 1107 00:42:22,892 --> 00:42:24,259 they are threatening to sue. 1108 00:42:24,326 --> 00:42:25,925 Think of the negative press you'll receive, 1109 00:42:25,992 --> 00:42:28,226 Not to mention what he might say about you on his show. 1110 00:42:28,292 --> 00:42:30,226 I don't understand. Why didn't he just go stay in the hospital? 1111 00:42:30,292 --> 00:42:32,692 We might be able to get some good play out of this, sir. 1112 00:42:32,759 --> 00:42:35,425 Especially if we air your campaign commercials 1113 00:42:35,492 --> 00:42:37,492 during the taping of his show from your house. 1114 00:42:37,557 --> 00:42:40,458 Nobody said anything about him broadcasting from my home! 1115 00:42:40,524 --> 00:42:41,657 Hold him, hold him. 1116 00:42:41,724 --> 00:42:43,958 Governor, I think it's very gracious for you 1117 00:42:44,025 --> 00:42:46,358 to open up your home to Wally Sparks. 1118 00:42:46,425 --> 00:42:47,858 Any man with a heart like that 1119 00:42:47,924 --> 00:42:49,358 has got a vote from me. 1120 00:42:49,425 --> 00:42:51,891 Yeah, mine, too. God bless you, Governor Preston. 1121 00:42:55,392 --> 00:42:57,158 What else does Mr. Sparks want? 1122 00:42:57,225 --> 00:42:59,657 Well, sir, he'd like to continue to stay in your bedroom, 1123 00:42:59,724 --> 00:43:01,657 and he's just crazy about your pajamas. 1124 00:43:01,724 --> 00:43:02,691 [Muttering] 1125 00:43:02,758 --> 00:43:05,791 Now, his producer, a lovely, caring woman, 1126 00:43:05,858 --> 00:43:09,358 has assured me that the peace and tranquillity of your home 1127 00:43:09,425 --> 00:43:11,158 will not be disturbed. 1128 00:43:11,225 --> 00:43:12,657 Back that mother up over here! 1129 00:43:12,724 --> 00:43:14,991 Come on, let's move it! Move it! Move it! 1130 00:43:15,058 --> 00:43:16,791 Come on! Come on! 1131 00:43:16,858 --> 00:43:17,991 Let's go! Let's go! 1132 00:43:18,058 --> 00:43:20,791 Let's go! Let's go! Let's move our butts here! 1133 00:43:20,858 --> 00:43:22,858 Come on, people, let's go. We're losing the light. 1134 00:43:22,924 --> 00:43:24,858 Crowd, chanting: Wally! Wally! Wally! 1135 00:43:24,924 --> 00:43:26,858 Oh! Oh! Aah! 1136 00:43:26,924 --> 00:43:28,158 It's Wally! 1137 00:43:28,225 --> 00:43:29,158 Hi there. 1138 00:43:29,225 --> 00:43:31,724 Oh, it's only the Governor. 1139 00:43:31,791 --> 00:43:33,724 How do you do, ma'am? 1140 00:43:33,791 --> 00:43:35,458 Wally! Wally! Wally! 1141 00:43:35,524 --> 00:43:36,591 Robby, on bullhorn: Yeah, bring in that cable. 1142 00:43:36,657 --> 00:43:38,225 You know, we've only got a few hours. 1143 00:43:38,291 --> 00:43:39,891 Let's go, guys. Come on. You're doing great. 1144 00:43:39,958 --> 00:43:41,823 Let's go! Yeah, hurry up! We've got a show to do 1145 00:43:41,890 --> 00:43:43,491 in a couple of hours. Come on! Come on! 1146 00:43:43,556 --> 00:43:46,757 Governor, will you please get out of the way? 1147 00:43:46,823 --> 00:43:49,556 We're trying to work here. 1148 00:43:49,623 --> 00:43:50,890 Would you like a muffin? 1149 00:43:50,957 --> 00:43:53,057 [Everybody talking] 1150 00:43:53,124 --> 00:43:54,457 Muffin? 1151 00:43:54,523 --> 00:43:55,957 They're fat-free. 1152 00:43:56,024 --> 00:43:58,024 Emily, who are all-- 1153 00:43:58,090 --> 00:43:59,324 Uh, would you like a muffin? 1154 00:43:59,391 --> 00:44:00,523 Emily, who-- 1155 00:44:00,590 --> 00:44:02,357 Who are all these people? 1156 00:44:02,424 --> 00:44:04,623 They're guests on the show. Floyd, isn't this exciting? 1157 00:44:04,690 --> 00:44:05,990 You should look at this. 1158 00:44:06,057 --> 00:44:07,457 Sir, that's an extremely valuable 1159 00:44:07,523 --> 00:44:09,057 18th century French inlaid side table. 1160 00:44:09,124 --> 00:44:10,457 It's very valuable, I just-- 1161 00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:11,656 OK, we won't break anything. 1162 00:44:11,723 --> 00:44:14,690 I don't want dents and scratches on it. 1163 00:44:14,757 --> 00:44:16,623 Get away from my chest, sir! 1164 00:44:19,024 --> 00:44:21,523 Live from the Governor's mansion in Atlanta, 1165 00:44:21,590 --> 00:44:23,190 it's the show that tells it like it is. 1166 00:44:23,257 --> 00:44:25,556 Ain't no mystery to this man's history. 1167 00:44:25,623 --> 00:44:29,590 Meet Wally Sparks. 1168 00:44:29,656 --> 00:44:32,324 Tonight our show focuses on a comparison 1169 00:44:32,391 --> 00:44:35,990 of American wrestling to Japan's sumo wrestlers. 1170 00:44:36,057 --> 00:44:39,357 Sumo is the national wrestling sport of Japan, 1171 00:44:39,424 --> 00:44:41,357 and the Japanese people have high regard 1172 00:44:41,424 --> 00:44:43,290 for these mighty athletes. 1173 00:44:45,457 --> 00:44:48,457 OK, boys, stop bowing. You'll tip over, huh? 1174 00:44:48,523 --> 00:44:51,889 That's it, sit down. Down, boys, down. OK. All right. 1175 00:44:51,956 --> 00:44:54,722 Now, folks, let's meet the American wrestlers, 1176 00:44:54,789 --> 00:44:57,123 the ever-dangerous Python Brothers. 1177 00:44:57,189 --> 00:44:59,522 Yeah! 1178 00:44:59,589 --> 00:45:01,223 [Audience boos and hisses] 1179 00:45:01,289 --> 00:45:02,989 Now tell me, boys. 1180 00:45:03,056 --> 00:45:05,289 Why are you giving the sumos a hard time? 1181 00:45:05,356 --> 00:45:07,555 Well, Wally, these fat tubs of lard 1182 00:45:07,622 --> 00:45:08,889 have the nerve to call themselves 1183 00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:10,922 professional athletes 1184 00:45:10,989 --> 00:45:13,456 when they look more like the Fuji blimp! 1185 00:45:13,522 --> 00:45:16,655 We spend long, hard hours in the gym 1186 00:45:16,722 --> 00:45:19,689 getting our bodies to look like this. 1187 00:45:19,756 --> 00:45:20,989 Yeah! 1188 00:45:21,056 --> 00:45:24,555 Boys, name calling isn't going to solve anything. 1189 00:45:24,622 --> 00:45:27,256 Then tell them to stop stuffing their faces 1190 00:45:27,323 --> 00:45:29,356 and buy some brassieres! 1191 00:45:29,423 --> 00:45:30,822 [Speaking Japanese] 1192 00:45:30,889 --> 00:45:33,089 Does anyone know what the hell these 2 jumbos 1193 00:45:33,156 --> 00:45:34,390 are talking about? 1194 00:45:34,456 --> 00:45:35,922 Unfortunately, 1195 00:45:35,989 --> 00:45:37,989 our Japanese interpreter never showed up. 1196 00:45:38,056 --> 00:45:41,223 But lucky for us, I speak fluent Japanese. 1197 00:45:41,289 --> 00:45:43,056 He does? 1198 00:45:43,123 --> 00:45:44,622 [Speaking Japanese] 1199 00:45:44,689 --> 00:45:46,822 ...Toyota, Madame Butterfly... 1200 00:45:46,889 --> 00:45:49,056 [Speaking Japanese] 1201 00:45:49,123 --> 00:45:50,156 Oh, really? 1202 00:45:50,223 --> 00:45:51,289 They say you're nothing 1203 00:45:51,356 --> 00:45:53,123 but a couple of steroid-popping pimps, 1204 00:45:53,189 --> 00:45:54,622 and you couldn't lick the sweat 1205 00:45:54,689 --> 00:45:55,956 off their flabby armpits. 1206 00:45:56,023 --> 00:45:59,688 Tell Tubby he couldn't last 2 seconds in the ring with me, 1207 00:45:59,755 --> 00:46:03,422 not even if his life depended on it! 1208 00:46:03,489 --> 00:46:04,554 [Speaking Japanese] 1209 00:46:04,621 --> 00:46:06,222 You tell them 1210 00:46:06,288 --> 00:46:07,721 we'll wipe the floor with their diaper-wearing butts! 1211 00:46:07,788 --> 00:46:09,188 I'm going for muffins. 1212 00:46:09,255 --> 00:46:10,255 Yeah, dear. Whatever. 1213 00:46:10,322 --> 00:46:11,921 They wanna know-- In your relationship, 1214 00:46:11,988 --> 00:46:13,222 which one is the man, 1215 00:46:13,288 --> 00:46:14,988 and which one is the woman? 1216 00:46:15,055 --> 00:46:16,888 [Yelling and grunting] 1217 00:46:16,955 --> 00:46:18,222 Harvey, I don't like this at all. 1218 00:46:18,288 --> 00:46:19,355 Aah! 1219 00:46:19,422 --> 00:46:21,422 Don't worry, sir. It's just a setup. 1220 00:46:21,489 --> 00:46:22,422 It's all part of the act. 1221 00:46:22,489 --> 00:46:24,821 Aah! 1222 00:46:24,888 --> 00:46:27,288 Good heavens. Son, are you all right? 1223 00:46:27,355 --> 00:46:29,188 Yeah. 1224 00:46:29,255 --> 00:46:31,088 There you are. Aah! 1225 00:46:31,155 --> 00:46:33,422 I'm telling you, you're blocking my closeup. 1226 00:46:33,489 --> 00:46:35,422 Whoa, very realistic, sir. 1227 00:46:35,489 --> 00:46:36,654 Hyah! 1228 00:46:36,721 --> 00:46:38,389 Aah! 1229 00:46:39,821 --> 00:46:43,188 Wally: Boys, boys, can't we all just get along? 1230 00:46:44,988 --> 00:46:46,721 Can I help you? 1231 00:46:46,788 --> 00:46:49,322 I'm Dean Sparks. I'm looking for my father Wally. 1232 00:46:49,389 --> 00:46:51,721 Oh, yes. He's in the living room. 1233 00:46:51,788 --> 00:46:53,255 Follow me, please. 1234 00:46:53,322 --> 00:46:56,755 Muffin? They're mighty popular. 1235 00:47:05,354 --> 00:47:06,720 Hey, everything's getting out of hand here. 1236 00:47:06,787 --> 00:47:07,820 There he is. 1237 00:47:09,787 --> 00:47:11,653 What is going on in here? 1238 00:47:11,720 --> 00:47:13,687 Oh, Dean. Egypt. What are you doing here? 1239 00:47:13,754 --> 00:47:14,687 I'm worried about you. 1240 00:47:14,754 --> 00:47:15,687 Aah! 1241 00:47:15,754 --> 00:47:17,154 Oh. Stop! 1242 00:47:17,221 --> 00:47:18,454 Joey: Oh, my God! The snake's loose! 1243 00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,754 Sandy: Get a wide shot of that snake. 1244 00:47:20,820 --> 00:47:22,087 What is all this? 1245 00:47:22,154 --> 00:47:23,854 Aw, nothing. I'm doing a show. 1246 00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:25,854 Oh, I'm sorry I missed your gig the other night. 1247 00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:26,854 I really wanted to be there. 1248 00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:27,987 Don't worry about it. 1249 00:47:28,054 --> 00:47:29,520 Listen, when we heard you were stuck down here, 1250 00:47:29,587 --> 00:47:30,954 we booked the band into a local club. 1251 00:47:31,021 --> 00:47:32,221 Aah! 1252 00:47:32,287 --> 00:47:34,087 Sumo! 1253 00:47:34,154 --> 00:47:35,121 Aah! 1254 00:47:35,187 --> 00:47:37,620 Emily: Oh, you, put my husband down. 1255 00:47:37,687 --> 00:47:38,787 Aah! 1256 00:47:38,854 --> 00:47:41,553 Where are you going? Robby. Robby, honey. 1257 00:47:41,620 --> 00:47:45,187 Governor. Governor, I want you to meet my son Dean. 1258 00:47:45,254 --> 00:47:47,287 He'll be visiting us for a few days, you know? 1259 00:47:47,354 --> 00:47:49,454 Help me. 1260 00:47:50,687 --> 00:47:54,653 Well, the Governor says hello. 1261 00:47:59,287 --> 00:48:01,488 Welcome back to Talk Soup. I'm John Henson. 1262 00:48:01,553 --> 00:48:03,553 Well, yet another fight broke out 1263 00:48:03,620 --> 00:48:05,287 on The Wally Sparks Show this week 1264 00:48:05,354 --> 00:48:07,587 when Wally and Governor Preston mixed it up 1265 00:48:07,653 --> 00:48:09,820 with some nasty wrestlers. Let's watch. 1266 00:48:11,454 --> 00:48:14,253 Aah! 1267 00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:18,253 Oh, man. Who's Wally's new promoter, Don King? 1268 00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:21,020 Let's get ready to rumble! 1269 00:48:21,086 --> 00:48:22,153 Now, folks, you hear about this? 1270 00:48:22,220 --> 00:48:23,453 I hear that Wally Sparks 1271 00:48:23,552 --> 00:48:25,986 is actually sleeping in Governor Preston's bedroom. 1272 00:48:26,053 --> 00:48:27,786 The only problem is, Wally says the Governor's wife 1273 00:48:27,853 --> 00:48:29,686 keeps hogging all the covers. 1274 00:48:31,586 --> 00:48:32,853 I don't know about that. 1275 00:48:32,919 --> 00:48:36,453 I thought there was going to be a total transformation. 1276 00:48:36,519 --> 00:48:39,086 That was the same old Wally Sparks Show. 1277 00:48:39,153 --> 00:48:41,786 The next show's going to be much, much better. 1278 00:48:41,853 --> 00:48:42,953 I swear to God. 1279 00:48:43,020 --> 00:48:47,353 Ho ho ho. No. There's not gonna be any more shows. 1280 00:48:47,420 --> 00:48:48,387 [Whistles] 1281 00:48:48,453 --> 00:48:51,320 Tell him it's over. 1282 00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:54,186 What are you saying, sir? You gonna cancel us? 1283 00:48:54,253 --> 00:48:55,719 Yes! 1284 00:48:55,786 --> 00:48:58,552 [Sighs] Well, if that's the way you want it, 1285 00:48:58,619 --> 00:49:01,853 I guess that's how it's gotta be. 1286 00:49:01,919 --> 00:49:03,387 I guess Wally will just have to take 1287 00:49:03,453 --> 00:49:05,753 one of the other 3 network offers 1288 00:49:05,819 --> 00:49:07,552 to air the special. 1289 00:49:07,619 --> 00:49:09,286 Special? What special? 1290 00:49:09,353 --> 00:49:11,886 Oh, nothing to concern yourself with, 1291 00:49:11,953 --> 00:49:13,786 I mean, now that it's over between you and Wally. 1292 00:49:13,853 --> 00:49:16,719 Hey, wait a minute. Sandy, what are you talking about? 1293 00:49:16,786 --> 00:49:18,053 Why didn't you tell me about this? 1294 00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,618 Well, because I thought I'd just keep it on the Q.T. 1295 00:49:20,685 --> 00:49:23,085 You know, make it a little surprise for you. 1296 00:49:23,152 --> 00:49:25,185 But, um, I booked Governor Preston 1297 00:49:25,252 --> 00:49:27,185 to do a one-on-one with Wally. 1298 00:49:27,252 --> 00:49:29,585 All right. Well, then I'll tell you what. 1299 00:49:29,651 --> 00:49:32,551 I-I'll put a whole big campaign behind this show. 1300 00:49:32,618 --> 00:49:33,785 Oh, great, but you know what? 1301 00:49:33,852 --> 00:49:36,019 You should hold off until the day of the show. 1302 00:49:36,085 --> 00:49:38,551 Hold it? Why? 1303 00:49:38,618 --> 00:49:41,119 I haven't worked out all the particulars 1304 00:49:41,185 --> 00:49:42,419 with the Governor's people yet. 1305 00:49:42,486 --> 00:49:44,551 Yeah, but you're gonna work it out. 1306 00:49:44,618 --> 00:49:47,518 Uh, yes. I'm going to get right on top of it. 1307 00:49:48,818 --> 00:49:50,019 Harvey... 1308 00:49:53,452 --> 00:49:54,752 Oh, shit. 1309 00:50:43,418 --> 00:50:45,118 Aah! Aah! 1310 00:50:45,184 --> 00:50:46,485 Aah! 1311 00:50:46,550 --> 00:50:51,784 Mom! Daddy! Mom! Daddy! There's a man in my room! 1312 00:50:51,851 --> 00:50:54,751 Daddy! Mom! Daddy! Daddy! 1313 00:50:54,817 --> 00:50:56,917 What happened, your husband come home? 1314 00:50:56,984 --> 00:51:00,717 Aah! 1315 00:51:00,784 --> 00:51:02,884 It's frustrating for all of us, baby doll. 1316 00:51:02,951 --> 00:51:04,051 Daddy, I cannot believe 1317 00:51:04,118 --> 00:51:05,917 you're letting this man treat you this way. 1318 00:51:05,984 --> 00:51:08,118 For heaven's sakes, just throw him out. 1319 00:51:08,184 --> 00:51:09,851 Darling, I can't do that. Harvey Bishop 1320 00:51:09,917 --> 00:51:12,018 says that would adversely impact my campaign. 1321 00:51:12,084 --> 00:51:14,784 Well, I have no campaign, so if I throw him out, it's OK. 1322 00:51:14,851 --> 00:51:16,184 Priscilla, honey, don't do that. 1323 00:51:16,251 --> 00:51:18,118 Harvey says if I'm nice to him-- 1324 00:51:18,184 --> 00:51:20,717 Harvey says? Listen to you, daddy. 1325 00:51:20,784 --> 00:51:23,251 You don't even know who you are anymore without Harvey. 1326 00:51:23,318 --> 00:51:25,151 Good night, daddy. 1327 00:51:25,218 --> 00:51:27,851 Wait, baby doll. Wait. Hon... 1328 00:51:41,350 --> 00:51:43,950 [Door opens] Welcome home, Sis. 1329 00:51:44,017 --> 00:51:44,950 What are you doing? 1330 00:51:45,017 --> 00:51:46,750 Wally wants some down pillows. 1331 00:51:46,816 --> 00:51:50,317 Get out of the way, Toots. Hot stuff coming through. 1332 00:51:50,384 --> 00:51:52,417 [Door opens] If you need anything, Mr. Sparks, 1333 00:51:52,484 --> 00:51:54,083 buzz me on the intercom. 1334 00:51:54,150 --> 00:51:56,083 Good morning, darling. [Kiss] 1335 00:51:56,150 --> 00:51:58,683 * Camptown races, hear my song * 1336 00:51:58,750 --> 00:51:59,783 * Doo-dah * 1337 00:51:59,850 --> 00:52:01,783 * Doo-dah * 1338 00:52:01,850 --> 00:52:03,317 Wally: Come in. 1339 00:52:05,450 --> 00:52:06,417 Mr. Sparks... [Door closes] 1340 00:52:06,484 --> 00:52:08,950 Oh, those yankees. You can't stop 'em. 1341 00:52:09,017 --> 00:52:11,117 I'm Priscilla Preston, and I want to talk to you-- 1342 00:52:11,183 --> 00:52:13,283 Oh, yeah. We sortamet last night. 1343 00:52:13,350 --> 00:52:16,017 That's what I wanted to talk to you about. 1344 00:52:16,083 --> 00:52:17,983 You see, my father and I were talking-- 1345 00:52:18,050 --> 00:52:20,183 Oh, your father's a great guy. The best. And your mother-- 1346 00:52:20,250 --> 00:52:23,250 A real doll. And your brother-- Cute as heck. 1347 00:52:23,317 --> 00:52:25,317 In fact, I gave him a job working for me. 1348 00:52:25,384 --> 00:52:27,183 You may be able to charm the rest of my family, 1349 00:52:27,250 --> 00:52:28,217 but not me. 1350 00:52:28,283 --> 00:52:29,916 Oh, by the way, say hello to my son Dean. 1351 00:52:29,983 --> 00:52:32,384 How do you do? I wou-- 1352 00:52:32,450 --> 00:52:34,384 Hey. Ohh. 1353 00:52:34,450 --> 00:52:35,916 Hi. 1354 00:52:35,983 --> 00:52:38,183 Listen, I'm sorry about last night. 1355 00:52:38,250 --> 00:52:39,384 They-- They told me you weren't home. 1356 00:52:39,450 --> 00:52:40,384 That's OK. 1357 00:52:40,450 --> 00:52:42,416 I must have sounded like a real wacko. 1358 00:52:42,483 --> 00:52:45,082 I'd scream, too, if there was a naked guy in my bed. 1359 00:52:45,149 --> 00:52:47,749 Ho. A few guys I know wouldn't mind at all. 1360 00:52:47,815 --> 00:52:49,082 Oh, Wally. 1361 00:52:49,149 --> 00:52:50,316 Dean, grab Egypt, will you? 1362 00:52:50,383 --> 00:52:51,515 He's due for doo-doo. 1363 00:52:52,682 --> 00:52:53,782 Uh... 1364 00:52:53,849 --> 00:52:56,149 Hey, would you like to join us? 1365 00:52:56,216 --> 00:52:57,849 Sure, I'd love to. 1366 00:52:57,915 --> 00:52:59,182 Great. 1367 00:53:01,049 --> 00:53:02,582 Um... 1368 00:53:02,648 --> 00:53:03,882 Oh. 1369 00:53:03,949 --> 00:53:05,249 Oh, OK. 1370 00:53:05,316 --> 00:53:08,383 OK. I'll just wait right outside. 1371 00:53:08,449 --> 00:53:09,849 OK. Thanks. 1372 00:53:10,982 --> 00:53:12,282 Bye. 1373 00:53:14,016 --> 00:53:14,882 Wow. 1374 00:53:24,615 --> 00:53:26,116 All right, Sparks. 1375 00:53:26,182 --> 00:53:27,449 Look at me. 1376 00:53:27,515 --> 00:53:28,749 [Egypt barks] 1377 00:53:28,815 --> 00:53:30,915 - Who's that? - Oh, a little doggie. 1378 00:53:30,982 --> 00:53:33,082 A couple of lovers, huh? 1379 00:53:33,149 --> 00:53:34,648 Come on, Wally. 1380 00:53:34,715 --> 00:53:36,515 Where are you? 1381 00:53:42,682 --> 00:53:44,149 Heh heh heh heh. 1382 00:53:53,115 --> 00:53:55,814 Back injury, my ass. 1383 00:53:55,881 --> 00:53:57,581 I knew he was faking it. 1384 00:53:57,647 --> 00:53:59,181 Now we get the photos. 1385 00:54:02,748 --> 00:54:03,681 Unh. 1386 00:54:03,748 --> 00:54:06,814 Oh. Oh. Unh. 1387 00:54:06,881 --> 00:54:08,614 What the-- Oh, Lord. 1388 00:54:08,681 --> 00:54:10,647 Oh, Lord, no. Unh. 1389 00:54:10,714 --> 00:54:12,315 Unh. 1390 00:54:12,382 --> 00:54:15,048 Oh, my-- Oh, my God. 1391 00:54:15,115 --> 00:54:16,514 Help. 1392 00:54:16,581 --> 00:54:19,647 Aah! 1393 00:54:19,714 --> 00:54:22,448 Aah! 1394 00:54:22,514 --> 00:54:24,281 Oh, my God. 1395 00:54:25,482 --> 00:54:28,382 Aah! 1396 00:54:28,448 --> 00:54:30,148 No! 1397 00:54:31,448 --> 00:54:32,848 [Horn honks] Aah! 1398 00:54:32,914 --> 00:54:33,848 [Honk honk] 1399 00:54:33,914 --> 00:54:36,914 Aah! [Honk honk] 1400 00:54:36,981 --> 00:54:40,181 Oh, mommy! 1401 00:54:40,248 --> 00:54:42,814 [Splash] 1402 00:54:48,848 --> 00:54:51,748 1,001 Mississippi. 1,002 Mississippi. 1403 00:54:51,814 --> 00:54:52,981 1,003 Mississippi. 1404 00:54:53,048 --> 00:54:54,281 Hey, dad, you can walk. 1405 00:54:54,348 --> 00:54:56,081 Dean. 1406 00:54:56,148 --> 00:54:58,813 How do you like that? It-- 1407 00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:00,680 It must've been a muscle spasm. 1408 00:55:00,747 --> 00:55:02,114 But I, uh-- 1409 00:55:02,180 --> 00:55:04,314 But I-- I really can't walk. 1410 00:55:06,214 --> 00:55:08,580 Oh, my God, dad, you're faking it, aren't you? 1411 00:55:08,646 --> 00:55:10,014 I thought you were really hurt. 1412 00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:11,481 Dean, I'm sorry. 1413 00:55:11,546 --> 00:55:15,180 I had to do it. Otherwise, I'd lose my show. 1414 00:55:15,247 --> 00:55:16,347 Your show? Your show? 1415 00:55:16,414 --> 00:55:17,347 Of course, I should've known. 1416 00:55:17,414 --> 00:55:21,214 Dean... you don't understand. 1417 00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:23,680 I mean, this is too important. 1418 00:55:23,747 --> 00:55:26,114 No. Dad, it's always been like this. 1419 00:55:26,180 --> 00:55:29,347 Everything you do is too important. 1420 00:55:32,114 --> 00:55:32,980 [Door closes] 1421 00:55:38,481 --> 00:55:41,280 - Oh, great. - Hi. Hello. 1422 00:55:49,513 --> 00:55:51,014 [Cough] 1423 00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:52,847 [Cough] 1424 00:55:57,381 --> 00:55:58,513 Great. 1425 00:56:00,813 --> 00:56:03,314 What the hell are you doing up? Do you wanna get caught? 1426 00:56:03,381 --> 00:56:05,446 Get in bed. Come on, get in bed. 1427 00:56:05,512 --> 00:56:07,645 If I get in bed, will you tell me a story? 1428 00:56:07,712 --> 00:56:09,812 Ha. Very funny. Come on, get in bed. 1429 00:56:09,879 --> 00:56:11,746 Sandy, I can't just lay in bed. 1430 00:56:11,812 --> 00:56:12,779 When I'm on my back, 1431 00:56:12,846 --> 00:56:14,179 I wanna be enjoying myself. 1432 00:56:14,246 --> 00:56:15,413 Do me a favor, will you? Call New York. 1433 00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:16,946 Tell Vivian to come down here 1434 00:56:17,013 --> 00:56:18,046 and hang with me, will you? 1435 00:56:18,113 --> 00:56:19,079 What, are you crazy? 1436 00:56:19,146 --> 00:56:20,146 You can't have any girls up here. 1437 00:56:20,213 --> 00:56:21,812 You're supposed to be in critical condition. 1438 00:56:21,879 --> 00:56:24,612 Huh. If 4 days go by, I don't have sex, 1439 00:56:24,679 --> 00:56:26,113 to me that's critical condition. 1440 00:56:26,179 --> 00:56:28,879 Look, if you want things to work out, you just stay put 1441 00:56:28,946 --> 00:56:30,645 until we get the Governor on the show, OK? 1442 00:56:30,712 --> 00:56:32,313 Suppose the Governor don't do the show? 1443 00:56:32,380 --> 00:56:33,846 Hey, not an option. 1444 00:56:33,912 --> 00:56:35,879 Remember unemployment? Skid row? 1445 00:56:35,946 --> 00:56:37,645 Who knows what'll happen to Joe? 1446 00:56:37,712 --> 00:56:39,079 He's nothing without you. 1447 00:56:39,146 --> 00:56:41,346 Hey, look. You stay out of the Governor's hair, 1448 00:56:41,413 --> 00:56:43,679 and I... will do some work on-- 1449 00:56:43,746 --> 00:56:45,380 [Squirt squirt] Harvey. 1450 00:56:45,446 --> 00:56:48,113 Oh, and don't forget what the doctor said. 1451 00:56:48,179 --> 00:56:49,946 Don't lift anything over 10 pounds, OK? 1452 00:56:50,013 --> 00:56:52,279 Don't lift anything over 10 pounds. 1453 00:56:52,346 --> 00:56:54,612 Now I can never take a leak. 1454 00:56:54,679 --> 00:56:55,912 Oh, please. 1455 00:57:05,946 --> 00:57:08,380 Let's see... escorts. Ah, here's one. 1456 00:57:08,446 --> 00:57:10,746 "We will fill any fantasy." 1457 00:57:10,812 --> 00:57:11,946 [Doorbell rings] 1458 00:57:16,078 --> 00:57:17,678 - Hi. - Hello. 1459 00:57:17,745 --> 00:57:20,578 I'm here to see Mr... Wally Sparks. 1460 00:57:20,644 --> 00:57:23,212 Oh, yes. Upstairs, first door to the right. 1461 00:57:23,278 --> 00:57:24,644 Oh. 1462 00:57:26,945 --> 00:57:30,278 Um, whatever your house call fee is, 1463 00:57:30,345 --> 00:57:31,711 please, put it on our bill. 1464 00:57:31,778 --> 00:57:34,078 Mr. Sparks already paid with his credit card. 1465 00:57:34,145 --> 00:57:36,479 We always get paid up front, 1466 00:57:36,544 --> 00:57:38,012 the way we operate. 1467 00:57:38,078 --> 00:57:41,611 Oh, no. They're going to operate. 1468 00:57:41,678 --> 00:57:44,145 The man's a menace. 1469 00:57:44,212 --> 00:57:46,345 I don't care if they sue me, 1470 00:57:46,412 --> 00:57:48,778 he is not doing another broadcast from this house. 1471 00:57:48,845 --> 00:57:51,045 But that's not an option, sir, 1472 00:57:51,112 --> 00:57:53,778 with all due respect. 1473 00:57:55,312 --> 00:57:56,778 You see, sir, after airing 1474 00:57:56,845 --> 00:57:58,745 your campaign spots during the sumo show, 1475 00:57:58,811 --> 00:58:01,445 awareness among young voters has gone way up. 1476 00:58:01,511 --> 00:58:03,479 Having Sparks here has actually helped us. 1477 00:58:03,544 --> 00:58:06,278 In fact, I think you should consider doing his show. 1478 00:58:06,345 --> 00:58:09,312 Harvey, I happen to think it's time for you to go now. 1479 00:58:09,379 --> 00:58:11,911 I'll just leave you here to ponder the possibility. 1480 00:58:11,978 --> 00:58:13,611 Just kind of kick it around in your head. 1481 00:58:13,678 --> 00:58:15,012 Just try it on for size. 1482 00:58:15,078 --> 00:58:16,878 Bye, Harvey. 1483 00:58:16,945 --> 00:58:18,644 [Humming] 1484 00:58:18,711 --> 00:58:21,378 It's been real nice doing business with you. 1485 00:58:21,444 --> 00:58:22,777 Ooh, I'll tell you one thing, honey-- 1486 00:58:22,844 --> 00:58:25,211 You should be the head nurse. 1487 00:58:25,277 --> 00:58:27,344 A hooker. What a business that is. 1488 00:58:27,411 --> 00:58:29,610 That's the best racket in the world. 1489 00:58:29,677 --> 00:58:32,177 You got it, you sell it, and you still got it. 1490 00:58:34,444 --> 00:58:36,844 "Back out of the election--" 1491 00:58:36,910 --> 00:58:39,311 What the hell is this? 1492 00:58:40,744 --> 00:58:41,677 [Wheezes] 1493 00:58:43,277 --> 00:58:46,777 [Labored breathing] 1494 00:58:46,844 --> 00:58:48,877 Floyd, darling, are you all right? 1495 00:58:48,944 --> 00:58:52,077 I don't know. Uh, I think I'm having an anxiety attack. 1496 00:58:52,144 --> 00:58:53,077 Oh, darling. 1497 00:58:53,144 --> 00:58:55,510 I'll get the nurse. 1498 00:58:56,910 --> 00:58:57,877 [Giggles] 1499 00:58:57,944 --> 00:58:59,577 Thanks for the house call, honey. 1500 00:58:59,643 --> 00:59:00,810 Bye-bye. 1501 00:59:02,977 --> 00:59:04,677 [Sliding door opens] 1502 00:59:04,744 --> 00:59:08,177 Hi. Your wife sent me in to, uh... 1503 00:59:08,244 --> 00:59:10,177 take care of you. 1504 00:59:10,244 --> 00:59:12,744 I've been under a great deal of stress of late. 1505 00:59:12,810 --> 00:59:13,910 Ohh. 1506 00:59:13,977 --> 00:59:17,277 Well, you just sit back and relax, 1507 00:59:17,344 --> 00:59:19,710 and don't you worry this little head 1508 00:59:19,777 --> 00:59:20,777 about nothing. 1509 00:59:20,844 --> 00:59:23,211 Well, I really do appreciate this, but... 1510 00:59:23,277 --> 00:59:26,777 I really can't see what you're able to do. 1511 00:59:26,844 --> 00:59:29,743 Great balls of fire! Never in my life-- 1512 00:59:29,809 --> 00:59:31,676 What's going on in there? 1513 00:59:31,743 --> 00:59:35,377 Oh, I'm sorry, honey. He just wasn't up to it. 1514 00:59:35,443 --> 00:59:39,110 What is going on? I hate that man! 1515 00:59:40,243 --> 00:59:41,176 [Woof] 1516 00:59:41,243 --> 00:59:42,176 [Giggles] 1517 00:59:42,243 --> 00:59:43,210 Come here. Come here. 1518 00:59:43,276 --> 00:59:45,843 [Woof woof] 1519 00:59:45,909 --> 00:59:48,076 [Laughing] 1520 00:59:48,143 --> 00:59:51,410 I can't believe you're Wally Sparks' son. 1521 00:59:51,477 --> 00:59:53,043 Yeah, I get that a lot. 1522 00:59:53,110 --> 00:59:55,709 I bet you do. How long do you think it'll be 1523 00:59:55,776 --> 00:59:57,743 before your dad's well again? 1524 00:59:57,809 --> 01:00:00,310 Oh, my dad's never been well. 1525 01:00:00,377 --> 01:00:01,642 Ha ha ha. 1526 01:00:01,709 --> 01:00:03,276 OK, pull! 1527 01:00:05,276 --> 01:00:07,709 Wow-wee! 1528 01:00:07,776 --> 01:00:09,310 [Crash] Unh. 1529 01:00:09,377 --> 01:00:10,876 [Glass shatters] 1530 01:00:16,143 --> 01:00:20,477 [Chuckles] Oh, boy. This is a Kodak moment. 1531 01:00:20,542 --> 01:00:22,176 Now, how was that one? 1532 01:00:22,243 --> 01:00:23,709 Bull's-eye! 1533 01:00:23,776 --> 01:00:25,043 Then give me a high one. 1534 01:00:25,110 --> 01:00:27,143 Let's see if you can hit this one. 1535 01:00:27,210 --> 01:00:30,876 Smile, Sparks. You're on Candid Camera. 1536 01:00:32,110 --> 01:00:33,943 Ok, pull! 1537 01:00:34,010 --> 01:00:34,976 [Clicks] Oh, shit. 1538 01:00:36,675 --> 01:00:41,242 Aah! 1539 01:00:45,508 --> 01:00:47,908 I still got him. 1540 01:00:47,975 --> 01:00:50,109 No! Shit. Great. 1541 01:00:50,175 --> 01:00:51,342 Just great. 1542 01:00:52,476 --> 01:00:54,442 That was awesome, man. 1543 01:00:54,508 --> 01:00:55,975 You sure can shoot. 1544 01:00:56,042 --> 01:00:57,142 My old man taught me. 1545 01:00:57,209 --> 01:00:59,708 My dad won't let me use it alone, 1546 01:00:59,775 --> 01:01:01,541 And he's too busy to teach me. 1547 01:01:01,608 --> 01:01:03,708 Your father's an important man, you know. 1548 01:01:03,775 --> 01:01:06,075 Yeah, but you're important. 1549 01:01:06,142 --> 01:01:10,309 Yeah. I guess being important and being a good father-- 1550 01:01:10,376 --> 01:01:12,742 They just don't go together, you know? 1551 01:01:12,808 --> 01:01:15,442 I bet Dean had a great time when he was a kid 1552 01:01:15,508 --> 01:01:16,541 with you as his dad. 1553 01:01:26,575 --> 01:01:28,376 I don't think they're good for you. 1554 01:01:28,442 --> 01:01:30,075 I think they're gonna find a study someday 1555 01:01:30,142 --> 01:01:31,275 that says it isn't. 1556 01:01:31,342 --> 01:01:33,376 Hey, girls. How you doing? 1557 01:01:33,442 --> 01:01:35,842 Well, Mr. Sparks. How are you today? 1558 01:01:35,908 --> 01:01:37,442 - I'm OK. - Good. 1559 01:01:37,508 --> 01:01:39,775 Good. Mr. Sparks, this is Agnes Farber. 1560 01:01:39,842 --> 01:01:40,808 How do you do? 1561 01:01:40,875 --> 01:01:42,808 And Helen Williams, judge Williams' wife. 1562 01:01:42,875 --> 01:01:44,041 They're both on the board 1563 01:01:44,108 --> 01:01:46,574 of the save the rain forest foundation with me. 1564 01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:48,375 Oh, pleased to meet you. 1565 01:01:48,441 --> 01:01:51,475 Mr. Sparks, do you play bridge? 1566 01:01:51,540 --> 01:01:53,274 One of our friends couldn't make it today. 1567 01:01:53,341 --> 01:01:55,108 We're looking for a fourth. 1568 01:01:55,174 --> 01:01:57,907 Oh. Well, I'll tell you-- I'm looking for a fifth. 1569 01:01:57,974 --> 01:01:59,174 [Giggles] 1570 01:01:59,241 --> 01:02:00,707 He's funny. 1571 01:02:00,774 --> 01:02:01,974 What do you girls play for? 1572 01:02:02,041 --> 01:02:03,308 Mrs. Williams: A nickel a point. 1573 01:02:03,375 --> 01:02:05,741 Oh, I tell you-- I think I can handle that... 1574 01:02:05,807 --> 01:02:09,941 as long as you girls take it easy on me. 1575 01:02:10,008 --> 01:02:12,674 So, you're saving the rain forest, huh? 1576 01:02:12,741 --> 01:02:16,941 Oh, yes. I love nature. I am also a bird-watcher. 1577 01:02:17,008 --> 01:02:19,174 I love blue jays. I love robins. 1578 01:02:19,241 --> 01:02:22,241 But most of all, I love peacocks. 1579 01:02:22,308 --> 01:02:24,974 I'll bet you do. 1580 01:02:25,041 --> 01:02:27,907 So tell us, what is your favorite bird? 1581 01:02:27,974 --> 01:02:29,674 My favorite bird, huh? 1582 01:02:31,341 --> 01:02:33,308 The swallow. 1583 01:02:33,375 --> 01:02:35,041 Lovely bird. 1584 01:02:35,108 --> 01:02:38,341 I haven't seen one of those in the longest time. 1585 01:02:38,408 --> 01:02:40,741 I know. They're almost extinct. 1586 01:02:40,807 --> 01:02:42,408 So, girls, what are you drinking? 1587 01:02:42,475 --> 01:02:44,008 Oh, iced tea. 1588 01:02:44,074 --> 01:02:46,141 Oh, did you ever have Long Island iced tea? 1589 01:02:46,208 --> 01:02:47,741 - No. - No. 1590 01:02:47,807 --> 01:02:49,807 Oh, really? 1591 01:02:49,874 --> 01:02:53,040 Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! 1592 01:02:53,107 --> 01:02:54,840 I got 2 4s. 1593 01:02:54,906 --> 01:02:57,706 I have a pair of aces. 1594 01:02:57,773 --> 01:02:58,773 Pair of aces? 1595 01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:01,207 Hey, honey, don't flatter yourself, will ya? 1596 01:03:01,273 --> 01:03:04,173 I haven't got anything. What have you got, Wally? 1597 01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:06,639 I got a straight, but I can't show it to you. 1598 01:03:12,073 --> 01:03:13,706 [Sniff sniff] Hey, what am I smelling? 1599 01:03:13,773 --> 01:03:15,007 Whose perfume is that? 1600 01:03:15,073 --> 01:03:16,374 Oh, that's me, Wally. 1601 01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:18,440 I'm wearing summer's mist. 1602 01:03:18,506 --> 01:03:20,773 Oh, I just love summer's mist. 1603 01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:22,840 I put a dab behind each ear. 1604 01:03:22,906 --> 01:03:25,973 Drives the Governor crazy. 1605 01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:28,140 Hey, girls. Want to attract men? 1606 01:03:28,207 --> 01:03:30,539 I'll tell you the best thing to put behind your ears. 1607 01:03:30,606 --> 01:03:31,474 Your ankles. 1608 01:03:32,973 --> 01:03:35,140 Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! 1609 01:03:36,740 --> 01:03:40,573 Oh, you naughty boy. Naughty boy. 1610 01:03:40,639 --> 01:03:42,806 Girls, I'm gonna run along. 1611 01:03:42,873 --> 01:03:45,639 I don't want to see what gravity has done to you. 1612 01:03:45,706 --> 01:03:49,307 No, Wally. Don't go. Stay and play, please? 1613 01:03:49,374 --> 01:03:51,706 Wally, Wally, you play the piano. 1614 01:03:53,407 --> 01:03:56,740 OK, girls. Keep your brassieres on. 1615 01:03:56,806 --> 01:03:58,307 [Crack] 1616 01:04:10,039 --> 01:04:11,538 Whoo! 1617 01:04:11,605 --> 01:04:14,972 * Just take those old records off the shelf * 1618 01:04:15,039 --> 01:04:19,239 * I'd sooner listen to 'em by myself * 1619 01:04:19,306 --> 01:04:23,172 * Today's music ain't got the same soul * 1620 01:04:23,239 --> 01:04:28,772 * I like that old-time rock and roll * 1621 01:04:29,972 --> 01:04:31,839 Emily: Play it, Wally. 1622 01:04:31,905 --> 01:04:33,206 Mrs. Farber: That's right. Do it. 1623 01:04:33,272 --> 01:04:34,406 * Come on over, baby * 1624 01:04:34,473 --> 01:04:36,339 * Whole lotta shakin' goin' on * 1625 01:04:36,406 --> 01:04:38,272 * Whose boy? Your boy, my boy * 1626 01:04:38,339 --> 01:04:40,373 * Come on over, baby * 1627 01:04:40,439 --> 01:04:42,106 * Baby, you can't go wrong * 1628 01:04:42,172 --> 01:04:43,872 * Go wrong, go wrong, go wrong * 1629 01:04:43,939 --> 01:04:45,939 * We ain't fakin' * 1630 01:04:46,006 --> 01:04:49,839 * Whole lotta shakin' goin' on * 1631 01:04:49,905 --> 01:04:53,772 Oh, Wally, I just love the way you play piano. 1632 01:04:53,839 --> 01:04:54,972 Aw, this is nothing. 1633 01:04:55,039 --> 01:04:57,373 You should see me play my upright organ. 1634 01:04:57,439 --> 01:04:59,839 Oh, you rascal, you. Ha ha ha. 1635 01:04:59,905 --> 01:05:02,172 One more time for Ronnie. 1636 01:05:02,239 --> 01:05:03,572 * Shake it, baby, shake it * 1637 01:05:04,872 --> 01:05:07,305 * Shake it, baby, shake it * 1638 01:05:07,372 --> 01:05:08,305 [Laughter] 1639 01:05:08,372 --> 01:05:09,438 Here we are. 1640 01:05:09,504 --> 01:05:11,904 We'll keep this meeting as short as we can, sir. 1641 01:05:11,971 --> 01:05:12,971 My pleasure. 1642 01:05:13,038 --> 01:05:15,038 It's an honor to be able to endorse a man 1643 01:05:15,105 --> 01:05:16,838 with such high family values. 1644 01:05:16,904 --> 01:05:17,838 Whoo! 1645 01:05:17,904 --> 01:05:19,305 * Shake it, baby, shake it * 1646 01:05:19,372 --> 01:05:20,438 Whoo! Whoo! 1647 01:05:20,504 --> 01:05:22,038 * Shake it, baby, shake it, baby * 1648 01:05:22,105 --> 01:05:24,205 * Come on, baby, shake it and shake it * 1649 01:05:24,271 --> 01:05:25,571 * Come on over and shake it * 1650 01:05:25,637 --> 01:05:27,238 * Come on over * 1651 01:05:27,305 --> 01:05:29,405 * Come on, baby, shake it now * 1652 01:05:29,472 --> 01:05:31,637 Shake it, baby. Shake it. Come on. 1653 01:05:31,704 --> 01:05:33,571 Wack-a, wack-a, wack-a. 1654 01:05:35,038 --> 01:05:37,372 Helen, stop that! 1655 01:05:37,438 --> 01:05:39,205 At once! 1656 01:05:42,537 --> 01:05:43,472 Aah! 1657 01:05:43,537 --> 01:05:44,571 [Thud] 1658 01:05:44,637 --> 01:05:45,604 Emily! 1659 01:05:45,671 --> 01:05:47,105 What in the name of Sam Hill 1660 01:05:47,171 --> 01:05:48,105 has come over you? 1661 01:05:48,171 --> 01:05:52,038 Ha ha ha ha ha ha! 1662 01:05:52,105 --> 01:05:54,305 Hey, Governor, you can take her upstairs. 1663 01:05:54,372 --> 01:05:55,571 She's ready now. 1664 01:05:55,637 --> 01:05:56,671 [Ladies laugh] 1665 01:06:02,871 --> 01:06:05,138 Honey, if I was with you right now, I'd show you sex. 1666 01:06:05,205 --> 01:06:06,871 I'd give it to you real good. 1667 01:06:06,938 --> 01:06:11,105 Oh, what's that? My 3 minutes are up, huh? OK. 1668 01:06:11,171 --> 01:06:12,571 [Door opens] 1669 01:06:12,637 --> 01:06:14,104 Mr. Sparks... 1670 01:06:16,037 --> 01:06:18,004 [Muttering] 1671 01:06:18,070 --> 01:06:20,237 I cannot take you in this house 1672 01:06:20,304 --> 01:06:21,371 one more night, sir. 1673 01:06:21,437 --> 01:06:22,937 Get that filthy mongrel 1674 01:06:23,004 --> 01:06:24,437 off my grandmother's settee! 1675 01:06:24,503 --> 01:06:27,503 Egypt. Down, Egypt, down. 1676 01:06:27,570 --> 01:06:31,503 That horrible animal did his, you know... 1677 01:06:32,870 --> 01:06:34,037 did his business 1678 01:06:34,104 --> 01:06:35,570 in my study again last night. 1679 01:06:35,636 --> 01:06:37,803 Hey, Governor, that's why we call him Egypt. 1680 01:06:37,870 --> 01:06:39,404 Every room, he leaves a pyramid. 1681 01:06:39,471 --> 01:06:41,870 That animal is dangerous. 1682 01:06:41,937 --> 01:06:43,670 Oh, peach fuzz. 1683 01:06:43,737 --> 01:06:46,104 Are you kidding? Egypt is harmless. 1684 01:06:46,170 --> 01:06:48,104 There's not an aggressive bone in his body. 1685 01:06:51,803 --> 01:06:53,237 Well, maybe one. 1686 01:06:53,304 --> 01:06:56,437 Get this dog off me. 1687 01:06:56,503 --> 01:06:58,170 Egypt, cold shower. Cold shower, Egypt. 1688 01:06:58,237 --> 01:06:59,937 For God's sake, man. 1689 01:07:00,004 --> 01:07:01,670 Why don't you mate that dog? 1690 01:07:01,737 --> 01:07:03,737 Mate him? Are you kidding? I wouldn't mate him. 1691 01:07:03,803 --> 01:07:05,803 Let him go through what I go through. 1692 01:07:05,870 --> 01:07:07,970 Mr. Sparks... 1693 01:07:08,037 --> 01:07:10,770 I am sorry that you were hurt in my home, 1694 01:07:10,837 --> 01:07:13,503 but you have overstayed your welcome. 1695 01:07:13,570 --> 01:07:16,337 I want you out of here tomorrow. 1696 01:07:16,404 --> 01:07:19,004 I really appreciate everything you've done for me, you know? 1697 01:07:19,070 --> 01:07:21,337 I owe you one. And to prove it, 1698 01:07:21,404 --> 01:07:22,769 I'm gonna have you as a guest on my show. 1699 01:07:22,836 --> 01:07:25,569 Ha ha. Have you taken leave of your senses? 1700 01:07:25,635 --> 01:07:28,069 I'd rather roll in honey, jump on an ant hill, 1701 01:07:28,136 --> 01:07:29,669 and walk barefoot across hot coals. 1702 01:07:29,736 --> 01:07:32,769 Sounds good, but we had a guy do that last week. 1703 01:07:32,836 --> 01:07:34,436 Tomorrow! 1704 01:07:34,502 --> 01:07:35,502 Out! 1705 01:07:35,569 --> 01:07:37,869 Aw, come on, Governor. Do the show, will you? 1706 01:07:37,936 --> 01:07:39,103 Robby would love it. 1707 01:07:39,169 --> 01:07:40,869 What are you doing talking to my son? 1708 01:07:40,936 --> 01:07:43,436 He's a good kid, Robby. Smart kid. He loves you. 1709 01:07:43,502 --> 01:07:45,370 He just needs some attention, that's all. 1710 01:07:45,436 --> 01:07:47,702 Don't tell me about my son. I know my son. 1711 01:07:47,769 --> 01:07:51,370 You're a bad influence. You stay away from him. 1712 01:07:51,436 --> 01:07:53,103 Oh, and another thing-- 1713 01:07:53,169 --> 01:07:55,902 That-- That-- That son of yours 1714 01:07:55,969 --> 01:07:57,602 is taking my daughter out on a date tonight. 1715 01:07:57,669 --> 01:07:59,502 I want her in bed by 12:00. 1716 01:07:59,569 --> 01:08:01,436 Don't worry about it, will you? 1717 01:08:01,502 --> 01:08:03,769 I know Dean. He'll have her in bed by 10:00. 1718 01:08:05,569 --> 01:08:06,836 I-- 1719 01:08:08,036 --> 01:08:09,169 Yeah. 1720 01:08:12,936 --> 01:08:14,802 I hate that man. 1721 01:08:21,203 --> 01:08:22,136 Hey, Wally, 1722 01:08:22,203 --> 01:08:24,969 Egypt found this wallet outside. 1723 01:08:25,036 --> 01:08:26,569 Oh, yeah? 1724 01:08:26,635 --> 01:08:28,069 Ooh, that's Miller! 1725 01:08:28,136 --> 01:08:30,068 Yeah, he must be down here spying on me. 1726 01:08:30,135 --> 01:08:31,068 Who is he? 1727 01:08:31,135 --> 01:08:33,068 Well, he's not a fan of mine. 1728 01:08:33,135 --> 01:08:35,202 In fact, he can blow the whole thing. 1729 01:08:35,268 --> 01:08:36,568 Yeah, well, don't worry, Wally. 1730 01:08:36,634 --> 01:08:38,335 With me and Egypt standing guard, 1731 01:08:38,402 --> 01:08:40,568 He won't get within 100 yards of this place. 1732 01:08:40,634 --> 01:08:42,302 Ha ha, you're all right. 1733 01:09:07,435 --> 01:09:08,302 Mmmf! 1734 01:09:29,268 --> 01:09:31,202 It's just I've heard about you Southern women. 1735 01:09:31,268 --> 01:09:33,601 You have not heard a thing about Southern women, 1736 01:09:33,668 --> 01:09:35,568 and you know it. 1737 01:09:35,634 --> 01:09:37,867 All right, now listen, don't drive too fast, OK? 1738 01:09:37,934 --> 01:09:39,267 Hang on. 1739 01:09:40,468 --> 01:09:41,533 Here we go! 1740 01:09:41,600 --> 01:09:46,600 Aah! 1741 01:09:46,667 --> 01:09:48,234 Help! 1742 01:09:49,434 --> 01:09:51,767 Aah-ya! Aah-ya! Aah-ya! 1743 01:09:51,834 --> 01:09:55,700 Aah! 1744 01:09:55,767 --> 01:09:57,967 Yah-ouch! 1745 01:09:58,034 --> 01:09:59,234 Priscilla: Whoo! 1746 01:09:59,301 --> 01:10:03,067 Aah! 1747 01:10:03,134 --> 01:10:04,800 Oof! 1748 01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:07,734 [Whimpering] 1749 01:10:10,067 --> 01:10:11,001 [Chirping] 1750 01:10:11,067 --> 01:10:12,334 [Whispering] Wally? Psst. 1751 01:10:12,401 --> 01:10:14,134 Wally? Wally? 1752 01:10:14,201 --> 01:10:15,134 Hey, Joey, up here. 1753 01:10:15,201 --> 01:10:16,468 What the hell you doing up there? 1754 01:10:16,533 --> 01:10:17,468 Come on, let's go. 1755 01:10:17,533 --> 01:10:18,734 I'll be right down. 1756 01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:21,234 [Squeaking] 1757 01:10:21,301 --> 01:10:23,667 Hey, what's going on here? 1758 01:10:23,734 --> 01:10:26,067 Hey! Where did you come from? 1759 01:10:26,134 --> 01:10:27,267 Get out of here, will you? 1760 01:10:27,334 --> 01:10:28,967 Hey, buy me a drink first! 1761 01:10:29,034 --> 01:10:30,134 Will you quit the clowning? 1762 01:10:30,201 --> 01:10:31,600 Oh, ooh! 1763 01:10:31,667 --> 01:10:33,500 Go find your own nuts, will you? 1764 01:10:33,567 --> 01:10:34,934 Hey, hey, what? 1765 01:10:35,001 --> 01:10:36,201 [Crunch] Ow! 1766 01:10:37,401 --> 01:10:38,934 He's dead. 1767 01:10:39,001 --> 01:10:41,201 Are you all right? 1768 01:10:41,267 --> 01:10:42,867 What were you doing? 1769 01:10:42,934 --> 01:10:43,934 That squirrel, 1770 01:10:44,001 --> 01:10:46,899 he was after my macadamias. 1771 01:10:46,966 --> 01:10:48,666 Did you remember to bring my disguise? 1772 01:10:48,733 --> 01:10:49,699 It's in the car. 1773 01:10:49,766 --> 01:10:50,699 Harvey: Governor? 1774 01:10:50,766 --> 01:10:51,833 Shh! 1775 01:10:51,899 --> 01:10:54,833 Governor: Harvey, come in here right away! 1776 01:10:54,899 --> 01:10:57,333 Close that door! 1777 01:10:57,400 --> 01:11:00,166 What was so urgent that you needed to see me, sir? 1778 01:11:00,233 --> 01:11:02,166 Well, here it is, Harvey. 1779 01:11:02,233 --> 01:11:03,666 I'm being blackmailed. 1780 01:11:03,733 --> 01:11:04,666 What? 1781 01:11:04,733 --> 01:11:06,499 I received a fax and a telephone call 1782 01:11:06,566 --> 01:11:08,499 telling me that if I don't do what they say 1783 01:11:08,566 --> 01:11:09,699 and pull out of the race, 1784 01:11:09,766 --> 01:11:11,300 they're going to go public with this. 1785 01:11:11,367 --> 01:11:13,333 They say that they have proof 1786 01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:16,033 of my having had sex in a motel with a stripper! 1787 01:11:16,100 --> 01:11:17,367 Harvey: Proof? 1788 01:11:17,433 --> 01:11:18,699 What kind of proof? 1789 01:11:18,766 --> 01:11:19,699 I don't know. 1790 01:11:19,766 --> 01:11:20,733 Well, that's ridiculous. 1791 01:11:20,799 --> 01:11:21,733 I'm innocent. 1792 01:11:21,799 --> 01:11:22,833 Of course you are. 1793 01:11:22,899 --> 01:11:24,699 It's my word against theirs. 1794 01:11:24,766 --> 01:11:26,467 Absolutely. 1795 01:11:31,433 --> 01:11:34,799 I've never seen that woman before in my life! 1796 01:11:36,766 --> 01:11:38,033 How do you like that? 1797 01:11:38,100 --> 01:11:40,000 The Governor's got a little something extra on the side. 1798 01:11:40,066 --> 01:11:41,666 Be quiet. I want to hear this. 1799 01:11:41,733 --> 01:11:42,632 Damn! 1800 01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:47,166 Well, it does take two to tango, sir. 1801 01:11:47,233 --> 01:11:49,233 That's a conspiracy, Harvey! 1802 01:11:49,300 --> 01:11:51,333 You believe me, don't you? 1803 01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:52,865 Damn it! 1804 01:11:52,932 --> 01:11:54,232 Well, sir, a stripper says 1805 01:11:54,299 --> 01:11:55,732 she had sex with you in a motel room, 1806 01:11:55,798 --> 01:11:57,232 and then there's this photo of you naked 1807 01:11:57,299 --> 01:11:58,932 in bed with a naked woman, 1808 01:11:58,999 --> 01:12:01,832 whom you say you never saw. 1809 01:12:04,898 --> 01:12:07,032 Yes, sir. 1810 01:12:07,099 --> 01:12:08,798 Yes, sir, I-- 1811 01:12:08,865 --> 01:12:11,165 I believe you. 1812 01:12:12,598 --> 01:12:16,432 [Music plays] 1813 01:12:16,498 --> 01:12:18,598 * You don't care for me * 1814 01:12:18,665 --> 01:12:20,698 * I don't care about that * 1815 01:12:20,765 --> 01:12:22,232 * You got a new fool * 1816 01:12:22,299 --> 01:12:24,165 * Ha! I like it like that * 1817 01:12:24,232 --> 01:12:28,865 * I have only one burning desire * 1818 01:12:28,932 --> 01:12:32,199 * Let me stand next to your fire... * 1819 01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:34,265 Hey, he's pretty good, huh? 1820 01:12:34,332 --> 01:12:35,432 Yeah, terrific. 1821 01:12:35,498 --> 01:12:37,432 Can we get out of here before we get caught? 1822 01:12:37,498 --> 01:12:38,765 I know it's a risk, 1823 01:12:38,832 --> 01:12:40,366 But I had to see Dean's band. 1824 01:12:40,432 --> 01:12:43,199 * Let me stand next to your fire * 1825 01:12:43,265 --> 01:12:45,399 * Let me stand * 1826 01:12:45,466 --> 01:12:50,199 * Let me stand * 1827 01:12:50,265 --> 01:12:53,165 [Applause and cheering] 1828 01:12:58,232 --> 01:13:01,164 Imagine, my son and the Governor's daughter. 1829 01:13:01,231 --> 01:13:02,298 Joey: Yeah, they're adorable. 1830 01:13:02,365 --> 01:13:03,897 But he ain't going to be Governor much longer 1831 01:13:03,964 --> 01:13:05,231 if those pictures come out. 1832 01:13:05,298 --> 01:13:07,797 I can't understand the Governor getting into that position 1833 01:13:07,864 --> 01:13:08,797 with a stripper. 1834 01:13:08,864 --> 01:13:10,298 I didn't see the pictures. 1835 01:13:10,365 --> 01:13:11,797 What position was he in? 1836 01:13:11,864 --> 01:13:14,964 [Panting] 1837 01:13:20,497 --> 01:13:22,365 OK. 1838 01:13:30,431 --> 01:13:33,231 Miller: Mm-hmm. 1839 01:13:51,198 --> 01:13:53,431 Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. 1840 01:13:56,398 --> 01:13:57,731 Aha! 1841 01:13:57,797 --> 01:13:59,530 Ahh. 1842 01:14:02,431 --> 01:14:04,365 I got you now, Sparks. 1843 01:14:04,431 --> 01:14:05,864 Ok. 1844 01:14:05,931 --> 01:14:07,365 Emily. 1845 01:14:07,431 --> 01:14:08,297 Yes? 1846 01:14:09,430 --> 01:14:11,030 I love you. 1847 01:14:11,097 --> 01:14:12,830 Well, I love you, too, Floyd. 1848 01:14:14,896 --> 01:14:15,796 Yes! 1849 01:14:18,230 --> 01:14:20,730 [Buzzes] 1850 01:14:20,796 --> 01:14:22,364 Wait, honey, don't. 1851 01:14:22,430 --> 01:14:24,130 I'll get it. 1852 01:14:24,197 --> 01:14:25,796 I hate that man. 1853 01:14:27,696 --> 01:14:29,130 Yes, Mr. Sparks. 1854 01:14:29,197 --> 01:14:31,629 The Governor will be right up. 1855 01:14:35,763 --> 01:14:36,896 [Grr rrr] 1856 01:14:36,963 --> 01:14:38,330 Ooh. 1857 01:14:38,397 --> 01:14:39,596 [Barks] 1858 01:14:39,663 --> 01:14:40,596 You want a cookie? 1859 01:14:40,663 --> 01:14:41,896 [Barks] 1860 01:14:41,963 --> 01:14:42,896 [Grr] OK, no cookie. 1861 01:14:42,963 --> 01:14:44,297 OK, OK, OK. 1862 01:14:44,364 --> 01:14:45,730 You're a good doggie. 1863 01:14:45,796 --> 01:14:46,796 [Barks] 1864 01:14:46,863 --> 01:14:47,830 Aah! 1865 01:14:49,464 --> 01:14:50,763 [Barks] 1866 01:14:50,830 --> 01:14:52,263 Aah! Ow! I'm OK. 1867 01:14:52,330 --> 01:14:53,397 [Barks] 1868 01:14:53,464 --> 01:14:54,696 Good doggie. 1869 01:14:54,763 --> 01:14:56,563 [Barks] 1870 01:14:56,629 --> 01:14:57,763 [Barks] 1871 01:14:57,830 --> 01:14:59,896 So long, sucker! Ha ha ha ha! 1872 01:14:59,963 --> 01:15:00,896 [Grr] 1873 01:15:00,963 --> 01:15:02,263 No, no, doggie! 1874 01:15:02,330 --> 01:15:04,796 [Grr] 1875 01:15:04,863 --> 01:15:05,796 Aah. 1876 01:15:05,863 --> 01:15:07,896 [Grr] 1877 01:15:07,963 --> 01:15:09,263 Let go of the tie! 1878 01:15:09,330 --> 01:15:11,030 [Grr] Pull me in! 1879 01:15:11,097 --> 01:15:12,030 Good doggie. 1880 01:15:12,097 --> 01:15:14,063 [Grr] Let go of my--! 1881 01:15:14,130 --> 01:15:15,562 [Grr] 1882 01:15:15,628 --> 01:15:16,595 [Grr] 1883 01:15:16,662 --> 01:15:18,329 Hey, kid, pull me in! 1884 01:15:18,396 --> 01:15:20,029 Pull me in! Aah! 1885 01:15:20,096 --> 01:15:21,029 Speak. 1886 01:15:21,096 --> 01:15:22,196 [Barks] 1887 01:15:22,262 --> 01:15:25,062 Aah! 1888 01:15:26,363 --> 01:15:27,996 [Barks] 1889 01:15:30,996 --> 01:15:32,695 Bad doggie. 1890 01:15:32,762 --> 01:15:33,962 Mr. Sparks, this is not a hotel! 1891 01:15:34,029 --> 01:15:35,729 Come on, Egypt. 1892 01:15:35,795 --> 01:15:37,962 And if it were, room service would be closed! 1893 01:15:38,029 --> 01:15:39,695 Stay under there. Good boy. 1894 01:15:43,528 --> 01:15:46,595 Yes, what is it, Mr. Sparks? 1895 01:15:46,662 --> 01:15:48,795 [Imitates Wally] Hey, Governor, 1896 01:15:48,862 --> 01:15:51,829 I thought I needed your help using the John. 1897 01:15:51,895 --> 01:15:53,463 Lucky for you, it was just gas. 1898 01:15:53,528 --> 01:15:54,595 [Dog passes gas] 1899 01:15:54,662 --> 01:15:56,962 Robby: Hoo, pardon me. 1900 01:15:57,029 --> 01:15:57,895 Night. 1901 01:16:00,196 --> 01:16:02,229 You know, you've got a really big house. 1902 01:16:02,296 --> 01:16:04,329 Shh, you want to wake everybody up? 1903 01:16:04,396 --> 01:16:07,262 Well, frankly, my dear, I don't give a-- 1904 01:16:11,262 --> 01:16:12,595 Damn. 1905 01:16:12,662 --> 01:16:14,495 Woof-ooh. 1906 01:16:14,562 --> 01:16:16,562 You know, I think we're doing pretty good. 1907 01:16:16,628 --> 01:16:19,062 We've known each other 2 days, 1908 01:16:19,129 --> 01:16:20,996 and we're already living together. 1909 01:16:25,028 --> 01:16:26,362 Priscilla? 1910 01:16:26,428 --> 01:16:28,861 Y'all realize what time it is? 1911 01:16:28,928 --> 01:16:30,828 Sorry, daddy. 1912 01:16:30,894 --> 01:16:34,494 We were just saying good night. 1913 01:16:34,561 --> 01:16:36,261 Good night, Governor. 1914 01:16:36,328 --> 01:16:37,995 Night. 1915 01:16:39,561 --> 01:16:41,995 Oh, daddy, so much happened tonight. 1916 01:16:42,061 --> 01:16:43,328 I just saw Dean's-- 1917 01:16:43,395 --> 01:16:46,527 Priscilla, I forbid this relationship to continue. 1918 01:16:46,594 --> 01:16:48,527 Oh, daddy, I'm an adult. 1919 01:16:48,594 --> 01:16:50,328 You don't get to forbid anything. 1920 01:16:50,395 --> 01:16:51,861 Priscilla, don't you understand, darling? 1921 01:16:51,928 --> 01:16:53,828 That boy doesn't care anything about you. 1922 01:16:53,894 --> 01:16:56,362 They're using you to get at me. 1923 01:16:56,428 --> 01:16:58,028 Oh, how stupid of me 1924 01:16:58,095 --> 01:17:00,794 to think anyone could actually be interested in me. 1925 01:17:00,861 --> 01:17:02,527 Oh, darling, I didn't mean-- 1926 01:17:02,594 --> 01:17:03,928 Baby doll. 1927 01:17:06,061 --> 01:17:07,728 Wally: We got to get the blackmail pictures, 1928 01:17:07,794 --> 01:17:09,195 find out who the chick is. 1929 01:17:09,261 --> 01:17:10,527 Joey, I know people. 1930 01:17:10,594 --> 01:17:13,527 The Governor doesn't play around. 1931 01:17:13,594 --> 01:17:16,028 You sure you can get back inside all right? 1932 01:17:16,095 --> 01:17:17,028 Yeah, yeah. 1933 01:17:17,095 --> 01:17:19,061 Robby left a ladder for me. 1934 01:17:19,128 --> 01:17:19,995 Be careful. 1935 01:17:21,462 --> 01:17:23,861 You Southern gentlemen are so charming, 1936 01:17:23,928 --> 01:17:25,395 so chivalrous. 1937 01:17:25,462 --> 01:17:28,395 I do believe you would never deny 1938 01:17:28,462 --> 01:17:30,462 a woman her desires. 1939 01:17:30,526 --> 01:17:31,461 Desires? 1940 01:17:31,526 --> 01:17:33,194 Mmm. But first, 1941 01:17:33,260 --> 01:17:36,660 I just have one special request. 1942 01:17:40,793 --> 01:17:41,827 You idiot. 1943 01:17:41,893 --> 01:17:43,693 What? Ooh. 1944 01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:45,294 Mmm. 1945 01:17:46,427 --> 01:17:47,361 Mmm. 1946 01:17:47,427 --> 01:17:48,361 Mmm. 1947 01:17:48,427 --> 01:17:49,960 Mmm. 1948 01:17:55,394 --> 01:17:57,260 Oh, beautiful. 1949 01:18:29,693 --> 01:18:30,626 Ooh! 1950 01:18:30,693 --> 01:18:32,593 Emily? 1951 01:18:32,660 --> 01:18:33,626 Is that you? 1952 01:18:33,693 --> 01:18:34,893 Who are you? 1953 01:18:37,693 --> 01:18:39,326 Great-great-granddaddy, 1954 01:18:39,393 --> 01:18:40,460 is that you? 1955 01:18:40,525 --> 01:18:42,592 [Old man's voice] Yes, it's me, Floyd. 1956 01:18:42,659 --> 01:18:44,592 It's your great-great-granddaddy. 1957 01:18:44,659 --> 01:18:45,892 Ooooh... 1958 01:18:45,959 --> 01:18:47,293 what are you doing here? 1959 01:18:47,360 --> 01:18:48,959 I'm here to help you, Floyd. 1960 01:18:49,026 --> 01:18:51,460 But first, you must answer an important question. 1961 01:18:51,525 --> 01:18:53,059 Yes, sir, anything. 1962 01:18:53,126 --> 01:18:55,059 Did you slide your saber 1963 01:18:55,126 --> 01:18:57,059 into that modern-day Jezebel? 1964 01:18:57,126 --> 01:18:58,559 No, sir, I did not. 1965 01:18:58,625 --> 01:19:00,159 How do you know about that stripper? 1966 01:19:00,226 --> 01:19:01,792 Up here, Floyd, 1967 01:19:01,859 --> 01:19:03,792 bad news travels fast. 1968 01:19:03,859 --> 01:19:06,159 Now, Floyd, you want to be Senator. 1969 01:19:06,226 --> 01:19:09,026 There's one thing you must do to be Senator. 1970 01:19:09,093 --> 01:19:12,326 You must appear on The Wally Sparks Show. 1971 01:19:12,393 --> 01:19:15,159 No! He's an obnoxious buffoon. 1972 01:19:15,226 --> 01:19:17,159 Shut up, and you listen 1973 01:19:17,226 --> 01:19:18,926 to your great-great-granddaddy. 1974 01:19:18,993 --> 01:19:21,159 I want you to pray, Floyd. 1975 01:19:21,226 --> 01:19:22,525 Pray. Pray? 1976 01:19:22,592 --> 01:19:24,726 No peeking. 1977 01:19:24,792 --> 01:19:27,059 Repeat after me. I pledge allegiance... 1978 01:19:27,126 --> 01:19:28,059 I pledge allegiance... 1979 01:19:28,126 --> 01:19:29,193 to the flag... 1980 01:19:29,259 --> 01:19:30,625 to the flag of the United States of America. 1981 01:19:30,692 --> 01:19:31,659 [Toilet flushes] 1982 01:19:31,726 --> 01:19:33,492 And to the Republic for which it stands, 1983 01:19:33,559 --> 01:19:35,193 one nation, under God, indivisible, 1984 01:19:35,259 --> 01:19:37,159 With Liberty and Justice for all. 1985 01:19:37,226 --> 01:19:39,026 I pledge allegiance to the flag 1986 01:19:39,093 --> 01:19:40,792 of the United States of America, 1987 01:19:40,859 --> 01:19:42,525 - ...and to the Republic... - Floyd? 1988 01:19:42,592 --> 01:19:43,926 Floyd, darling? 1989 01:19:43,993 --> 01:19:45,426 Floyd, you're being patriotic 1990 01:19:45,492 --> 01:19:47,292 in your sleep again. 1991 01:19:47,359 --> 01:19:48,292 I'm sorry. 1992 01:19:48,359 --> 01:19:50,292 Emily, you'll never guess who was here. 1993 01:19:50,359 --> 01:19:51,624 Great-great-granddaddy. 1994 01:19:51,691 --> 01:19:53,624 Oh, Floyd, don't talk crazy. You were dreaming. 1995 01:19:53,691 --> 01:19:55,192 I'm not talking crazy. 1996 01:19:55,258 --> 01:19:56,691 Great-great-granddaddy was here. 1997 01:19:56,758 --> 01:19:58,624 If I say he was here, he was here. 1998 01:19:58,691 --> 01:20:00,425 Please place your napkin in your lap. 1999 01:20:00,491 --> 01:20:02,192 Why? I'm not going to spill nothing. 2000 01:20:02,258 --> 01:20:03,359 Do what your mother-- 2001 01:20:03,425 --> 01:20:04,825 Excuse me, please. May I have your attention? 2002 01:20:04,891 --> 01:20:07,491 There's something I have to say. 2003 01:20:07,558 --> 01:20:09,725 You will not believe the latest polls. 2004 01:20:09,791 --> 01:20:11,958 Wally Sparks is saving our hide. 2005 01:20:12,025 --> 01:20:12,958 Especially since 2006 01:20:13,025 --> 01:20:15,359 you finally decided to do his show. 2007 01:20:15,425 --> 01:20:16,591 Oh, dear. 2008 01:20:16,658 --> 01:20:18,459 You're going to be on Wally's show?! 2009 01:20:18,524 --> 01:20:19,524 Awesome! 2010 01:20:19,591 --> 01:20:21,359 Is that what you wanted to tell us, dear? 2011 01:20:21,425 --> 01:20:22,359 Aah! 2012 01:20:22,425 --> 01:20:24,192 You lying, 2013 01:20:24,258 --> 01:20:26,225 conniving, son of a-- 2014 01:20:26,292 --> 01:20:27,725 Sparks, you poltroon! 2015 01:20:27,791 --> 01:20:29,725 You announce it in the paper. 2016 01:20:29,791 --> 01:20:31,225 So if I don't do it, 2017 01:20:31,292 --> 01:20:32,925 it looks like I'm afraid to face you on the air. 2018 01:20:32,992 --> 01:20:35,725 Well, you may have backed me into a corner this time, 2019 01:20:35,791 --> 01:20:37,225 but let me tell you something. 2020 01:20:37,292 --> 01:20:39,758 The second this show is over, 2021 01:20:39,825 --> 01:20:43,325 you and your entire 3-ring circus are history! 2022 01:20:43,392 --> 01:20:46,791 Hey, doesn't anybody ever knock around here? 2023 01:20:46,858 --> 01:20:49,325 [Whinnies] 2024 01:20:49,392 --> 01:20:51,125 Preston: Well, that's it, Randal. 2025 01:20:51,192 --> 01:20:52,158 I feel trapped. 2026 01:20:52,225 --> 01:20:53,657 On the one hand, the boys at the lab 2027 01:20:53,724 --> 01:20:55,091 tell me those pictures are real. 2028 01:20:55,157 --> 01:20:56,991 There's no hint of doctoring on those photos. 2029 01:20:57,057 --> 01:21:00,024 So if I challenge these people, whoever they are, 2030 01:21:00,091 --> 01:21:01,824 My family might be more humiliated 2031 01:21:01,890 --> 01:21:03,490 than they already have been. 2032 01:21:03,557 --> 01:21:05,324 On the other hand, if I back out, 2033 01:21:05,391 --> 01:21:08,523 those people are just going to walk all over me. 2034 01:21:08,590 --> 01:21:09,824 And worse, 2035 01:21:09,890 --> 01:21:12,191 backing out might look like an admission of guilt. 2036 01:21:12,257 --> 01:21:13,191 Damn! 2037 01:21:13,257 --> 01:21:15,191 Floyd, the election is next Tuesday. 2038 01:21:15,257 --> 01:21:17,358 Now, by the time you can prove your innocence, 2039 01:21:17,424 --> 01:21:18,724 you'll already have lost it. 2040 01:21:18,790 --> 01:21:20,724 And if you can't prove your innocence, 2041 01:21:20,790 --> 01:21:23,657 you might even lose your Governor's position. 2042 01:21:24,924 --> 01:21:26,358 Back out. 2043 01:21:26,424 --> 01:21:28,091 Don't you think I'll seem weak 2044 01:21:28,157 --> 01:21:29,924 if I don't fight all this? 2045 01:21:29,991 --> 01:21:31,091 Not at all. 2046 01:21:31,157 --> 01:21:33,358 I'd do the same thing if I were in your position. 2047 01:21:33,424 --> 01:21:35,191 You have to do what's best 2048 01:21:35,257 --> 01:21:36,857 for Emily and the children. 2049 01:21:36,924 --> 01:21:39,358 You just gave me the same answer that I arrived at. 2050 01:21:39,424 --> 01:21:41,790 I didn't want to hear it from either of us. 2051 01:21:41,857 --> 01:21:43,790 Thank you, Randal. 2052 01:21:43,857 --> 01:21:45,890 When will you do it? 2053 01:21:45,957 --> 01:21:47,490 Well... 2054 01:21:47,557 --> 01:21:49,191 Ha ha ha! 2055 01:21:49,257 --> 01:21:51,657 I thought I'd do it tonight... 2056 01:21:53,957 --> 01:21:56,024 on the Sparks Show. 2057 01:21:56,091 --> 01:22:00,024 Wally: Why don't the Governor just tell the truth? 2058 01:22:00,091 --> 01:22:01,756 If he's innocent, the people will believe him. 2059 01:22:01,823 --> 01:22:03,522 Because he doesn't want this photo 2060 01:22:03,589 --> 01:22:05,390 plastered all over every newspaper in the country, 2061 01:22:05,457 --> 01:22:06,390 that's why. 2062 01:22:06,457 --> 01:22:07,522 Let us help you. 2063 01:22:07,589 --> 01:22:08,723 We'll find out who the chick is, 2064 01:22:08,789 --> 01:22:09,923 and we'll put her on the show. 2065 01:22:09,990 --> 01:22:12,656 No. The Governor wants this affair to go away 2066 01:22:12,723 --> 01:22:14,123 as quietly as possible. 2067 01:22:14,190 --> 01:22:15,689 Oh, so someone else can set him up 2068 01:22:15,756 --> 01:22:17,090 and blackmail him all over again. 2069 01:22:17,156 --> 01:22:20,123 Please, just let the Governor make his statement. 2070 01:22:20,190 --> 01:22:22,423 Say anything about the stripper, 2071 01:22:22,489 --> 01:22:24,390 and he walks. 2072 01:22:25,789 --> 01:22:27,889 Oh, Harvey, 2073 01:22:27,956 --> 01:22:30,923 now, you don't really mean that, do you? 2074 01:22:30,990 --> 01:22:32,956 Yes, I do. 2075 01:22:34,156 --> 01:22:36,090 You got it? 2076 01:22:36,156 --> 01:22:37,357 Got it. 2077 01:22:40,489 --> 01:22:42,423 She looks familiar. 2078 01:22:42,489 --> 01:22:44,423 They all look familiar to you, hon. 2079 01:22:44,489 --> 01:22:46,423 [Knock on door] 2080 01:22:46,489 --> 01:22:48,123 Wally: Oh, Miller. 2081 01:22:48,190 --> 01:22:50,723 Well, what a pleasant surprise. 2082 01:22:50,789 --> 01:22:53,457 I came to offer my congratulations. 2083 01:22:53,522 --> 01:22:54,956 You won, Sparks. 2084 01:22:55,023 --> 01:22:57,956 I didn't think you could do it. 2085 01:22:58,023 --> 01:23:00,956 And Mr. Spencer wanted me to come personally 2086 01:23:01,023 --> 01:23:03,457 and hand you your new contracts. 2087 01:23:03,522 --> 01:23:06,357 I'm afraid you're going to have to pick them up, 2088 01:23:06,423 --> 01:23:07,357 You know. 2089 01:23:07,423 --> 01:23:08,855 Oh, right, I forgot. 2090 01:23:08,922 --> 01:23:10,222 You can't walk. 2091 01:23:10,289 --> 01:23:11,356 Right. 2092 01:23:11,422 --> 01:23:13,955 So how long do the doctors think it'll take? 2093 01:23:14,022 --> 01:23:16,688 Oh, a few weeks, a few months. 2094 01:23:16,755 --> 01:23:17,688 A year. 2095 01:23:17,755 --> 01:23:19,189 A few years. 2096 01:23:19,255 --> 01:23:20,788 Wow, look at that chick. What an ass. 2097 01:23:20,855 --> 01:23:22,456 Ooh, where, where? 2098 01:23:22,521 --> 01:23:23,989 Aha, I got you! 2099 01:23:24,055 --> 01:23:25,521 I knew you were faking it. 2100 01:23:25,588 --> 01:23:28,222 I caught you. I caught you! 2101 01:23:28,289 --> 01:23:29,422 Ohh-hoo, yeah! 2102 01:23:29,488 --> 01:23:31,722 Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! 2103 01:23:31,788 --> 01:23:33,089 You can walk again! 2104 01:23:33,155 --> 01:23:34,488 Hey, I can walk! It's a miracle! 2105 01:23:34,555 --> 01:23:36,122 No, no, no, no! This is no miracle. 2106 01:23:36,189 --> 01:23:37,422 You are a fake, 2107 01:23:37,488 --> 01:23:38,989 a phony. You are a charlatan! 2108 01:23:39,055 --> 01:23:40,989 All right, Miller, what do you want? 2109 01:23:41,055 --> 01:23:42,322 What do I want? 2110 01:23:42,389 --> 01:23:44,488 I want your head on a stick. 2111 01:23:44,555 --> 01:23:46,655 I want your neck in a noose. 2112 01:23:46,722 --> 01:23:48,822 Hey, you're trying to make up with me, huh? 2113 01:23:48,888 --> 01:23:50,989 I want to see that you never work 2114 01:23:51,055 --> 01:23:52,922 in broadcasting ever again! 2115 01:23:54,389 --> 01:23:55,488 Ah, miss Preston. 2116 01:23:55,555 --> 01:23:56,488 You've been had. 2117 01:23:56,555 --> 01:23:58,155 They've been deceiving your family 2118 01:23:58,222 --> 01:23:59,722 the whole time. 2119 01:23:59,788 --> 01:24:01,422 He was never hurt. 2120 01:24:01,488 --> 01:24:03,422 Is it true? Did you know he was faking it? 2121 01:24:03,488 --> 01:24:04,688 Look, Priscilla, I'm sorry. 2122 01:24:04,755 --> 01:24:06,521 Oh, daddy was right. 2123 01:24:06,588 --> 01:24:08,122 Thanks a lot, dad. 2124 01:24:08,189 --> 01:24:09,322 Dean. 2125 01:24:09,389 --> 01:24:10,888 Ah. 2126 01:24:10,955 --> 01:24:13,521 I guess now is the perfect time 2127 01:24:13,588 --> 01:24:15,922 for me to call Mr. Spencer 2128 01:24:15,989 --> 01:24:18,921 and put an end to your sleazy career, huh? 2129 01:24:18,988 --> 01:24:20,620 You ain't going anywhere, pretty boy. 2130 01:24:20,687 --> 01:24:22,321 You ain't even pretty anymore. 2131 01:24:22,388 --> 01:24:23,321 Robby: Remember me? 2132 01:24:23,388 --> 01:24:24,520 Hey, that's my wallet! 2133 01:24:24,587 --> 01:24:25,687 Wally: Grab him. 2134 01:24:25,754 --> 01:24:31,321 * Why do we stand on the roses? * 2135 01:24:31,388 --> 01:24:34,554 Yoo-hoo, Mr. Sparks? 2136 01:24:34,620 --> 01:24:36,554 Yo, what do you want? 2137 01:24:36,620 --> 01:24:38,554 Oh, there's a phone call 2138 01:24:38,620 --> 01:24:40,054 for Mr. Sparks on line 2. 2139 01:24:40,121 --> 01:24:41,054 Miller: Somebody help me! 2140 01:24:41,121 --> 01:24:42,587 Is everything all right in there? 2141 01:24:42,654 --> 01:24:45,021 Yeah. Wally is just having his physical therapy. 2142 01:24:45,088 --> 01:24:47,687 Oh. Is there anything I can do to help? 2143 01:24:47,754 --> 01:24:48,687 Um... 2144 01:24:48,754 --> 01:24:50,554 Robby, look who's here. 2145 01:24:50,620 --> 01:24:51,554 Mom! 2146 01:24:51,620 --> 01:24:52,887 Miller: Help! 2147 01:24:52,954 --> 01:24:54,121 Wally wants you to roast him a turkey. 2148 01:24:54,188 --> 01:24:55,388 A whole turkey? 2149 01:24:55,455 --> 01:24:57,554 No, you're not going to get way with it this time. 2150 01:24:57,620 --> 01:24:59,021 I'm warning you, Sparks. I'm warn-- 2151 01:24:59,088 --> 01:25:01,921 That's the only way to shut him up. 2152 01:25:01,988 --> 01:25:02,921 I know her. 2153 01:25:02,988 --> 01:25:04,388 She's so familiar to me. 2154 01:25:04,455 --> 01:25:05,887 I just can't place her. 2155 01:25:05,954 --> 01:25:07,321 I knew it. I knew I knew her. 2156 01:25:07,388 --> 01:25:08,587 Now I know where I know her from. 2157 01:25:08,654 --> 01:25:09,587 Where do you know her from? 2158 01:25:09,654 --> 01:25:10,587 Wally? 2159 01:25:10,654 --> 01:25:11,587 I'm busy now. 2160 01:25:11,654 --> 01:25:13,088 Where do you know her from? 2161 01:25:13,154 --> 01:25:14,254 It's her! 2162 01:25:14,321 --> 01:25:17,188 She wants to meet with Wally alone. 2163 01:25:34,153 --> 01:25:35,853 Wally: Oh, it's you. 2164 01:25:35,920 --> 01:25:38,120 I thought you don't believe in casual sex. 2165 01:25:38,187 --> 01:25:41,153 I never had sex with the Governor. 2166 01:25:41,220 --> 01:25:42,586 He was set up. 2167 01:25:42,653 --> 01:25:44,120 They slipped him a Mickey, 2168 01:25:44,187 --> 01:25:46,320 and while he was unconscious, 2169 01:25:46,387 --> 01:25:48,320 I took off my clothes, 2170 01:25:48,387 --> 01:25:51,287 and I posed for those pictures with him. 2171 01:25:51,354 --> 01:25:54,053 Then why are you saying it now? 2172 01:25:54,120 --> 01:25:57,120 Because I can't live with the guilt. 2173 01:25:57,187 --> 01:25:58,120 I told you 2174 01:25:58,187 --> 01:26:00,253 I'm an actress, Mr. Sparks. 2175 01:26:00,320 --> 01:26:02,253 But I don't want to become famous 2176 01:26:02,320 --> 01:26:04,619 for ruining the lives of an innocent man 2177 01:26:04,686 --> 01:26:05,953 and his family. 2178 01:26:06,020 --> 01:26:07,786 I want to do wholesome projects, 2179 01:26:07,853 --> 01:26:09,220 like Disney movies. 2180 01:26:09,287 --> 01:26:11,220 Well, how come you want to see me? 2181 01:26:11,287 --> 01:26:14,653 Because I want to go on your show tonight, 2182 01:26:14,720 --> 01:26:16,920 and I want to tell the truth. 2183 01:26:16,987 --> 01:26:18,553 I want to do the right thing, 2184 01:26:18,619 --> 01:26:20,253 And I want to clear the Governor's name 2185 01:26:20,320 --> 01:26:21,820 in front of the whole country. 2186 01:26:21,886 --> 01:26:23,120 [Wally's theme music plays] 2187 01:26:23,187 --> 01:26:25,454 3, 2, 1. 2188 01:26:25,519 --> 01:26:26,454 Hiya, folks. 2189 01:26:26,519 --> 01:26:28,253 Tonight you're going to see 2190 01:26:28,320 --> 01:26:30,153 a different kind of Wally Sparks Show. 2191 01:26:30,220 --> 01:26:32,152 A much more serious approach. 2192 01:26:32,219 --> 01:26:34,152 And I want to start off 2193 01:26:34,219 --> 01:26:35,652 with my very special guest, 2194 01:26:35,719 --> 01:26:36,919 Governor Floyd Preston. 2195 01:26:36,986 --> 01:26:40,319 [Dixie plays] 2196 01:26:40,386 --> 01:26:42,419 Ah, Governor, it's great to finally have you 2197 01:26:42,485 --> 01:26:43,652 on my show, you know? 2198 01:26:43,719 --> 01:26:46,453 At least you didn't have to travel too far to get here. 2199 01:26:46,518 --> 01:26:47,485 That's true. 2200 01:26:47,552 --> 01:26:49,186 Although the traffic was a little rough 2201 01:26:49,252 --> 01:26:51,119 coming through the kitchen. 2202 01:26:51,186 --> 01:26:53,086 [Whispers] Priscilla, listen, we need to talk. 2203 01:26:53,152 --> 01:26:54,585 OK, you don't understand. 2204 01:26:54,652 --> 01:26:56,086 You lied to me. 2205 01:26:56,152 --> 01:26:58,319 I should tell my father and stop this show. 2206 01:26:58,386 --> 01:26:59,685 Uh, Mr. Sparks, 2207 01:26:59,752 --> 01:27:02,186 I'd like to say a few words. 2208 01:27:02,252 --> 01:27:04,152 Miller: Stop the show! 2209 01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:06,719 He's a fake! He's a phony! 2210 01:27:06,785 --> 01:27:08,453 He's a charlatan! 2211 01:27:08,518 --> 01:27:09,719 Get your hands off me! 2212 01:27:09,785 --> 01:27:10,785 You don't understand! 2213 01:27:10,852 --> 01:27:12,019 Listen to me! 2214 01:27:12,086 --> 01:27:14,353 I'm a very important person! 2215 01:27:14,419 --> 01:27:15,952 [Whispering] Stretch. Stretch it out. 2216 01:27:16,019 --> 01:27:18,353 Uh, one of the Governor's opponents. 2217 01:27:18,419 --> 01:27:20,386 They'll stoop to anything to try and stop him. 2218 01:27:20,453 --> 01:27:22,386 Like calling him a phony, a fake. 2219 01:27:22,453 --> 01:27:24,353 They even claim he dyes his hair. 2220 01:27:24,419 --> 01:27:26,986 Lies! I've taken a shower with the Governor, 2221 01:27:27,052 --> 01:27:28,919 and believe me, that's his natural hair color. 2222 01:27:28,986 --> 01:27:30,719 And by the way, Governor, 2223 01:27:30,785 --> 01:27:34,219 you're quite a guy, if you know what I mean. 2224 01:27:34,286 --> 01:27:36,386 Why, he could enter a 3-legged race by himself. 2225 01:27:36,453 --> 01:27:39,818 Why do you think his wife is always smiling? 2226 01:27:40,985 --> 01:27:42,251 Wally: So, folks, 2227 01:27:42,318 --> 01:27:44,051 vote for Governor Floyd Preston. 2228 01:27:44,118 --> 01:27:45,318 Think big. 2229 01:27:45,385 --> 01:27:46,318 Mr. Sparks. 2230 01:27:46,385 --> 01:27:48,218 There's something very important-- 2231 01:27:48,285 --> 01:27:50,085 Hold that thought for one moment, OK? 2232 01:27:50,151 --> 01:27:52,051 'Cause right now I'd like to bring on 2233 01:27:52,118 --> 01:27:53,385 a special mystery guest 2234 01:27:53,452 --> 01:27:56,617 who's about to become the most important person 2235 01:27:56,684 --> 01:27:57,684 in your life. 2236 01:27:57,751 --> 01:27:58,851 Ladies and gentlemen, 2237 01:27:58,918 --> 01:28:01,584 Governor Preston was just about to announce 2238 01:28:01,651 --> 01:28:03,784 he's going to back out of the election... 2239 01:28:03,851 --> 01:28:04,951 Oh, no. 2240 01:28:05,018 --> 01:28:06,452 Because he's mixed up 2241 01:28:06,517 --> 01:28:09,085 in a disgusting sex scandal. 2242 01:28:09,151 --> 01:28:10,218 Oh. 2243 01:28:10,285 --> 01:28:11,218 [Gasps] 2244 01:28:11,285 --> 01:28:12,251 And here she is 2245 01:28:12,318 --> 01:28:14,051 to tell her side of the story. 2246 01:28:14,118 --> 01:28:17,918 The woman in question-- Lola Larue! 2247 01:28:17,985 --> 01:28:21,651 [Jazzy music plays] 2248 01:28:25,418 --> 01:28:26,385 All right, Lola. 2249 01:28:26,452 --> 01:28:28,784 Now you go ahead and tell our viewers 2250 01:28:28,851 --> 01:28:30,385 the same incredible story you told me. 2251 01:28:30,452 --> 01:28:33,884 Well, I first met Governor Preston 2252 01:28:33,951 --> 01:28:36,385 in Savannah at a campaign rally. 2253 01:28:36,452 --> 01:28:37,985 And that night, 2254 01:28:38,051 --> 01:28:40,718 he got me drunk and sexually molested me 2255 01:28:40,784 --> 01:28:42,318 at the fuzzy peach motel. 2256 01:28:42,385 --> 01:28:44,318 Governor, what did I tell you, huh? 2257 01:28:44,385 --> 01:28:45,651 Hey, wait a minute. 2258 01:28:45,718 --> 01:28:46,985 That's a lie! 2259 01:28:47,050 --> 01:28:49,417 Emily, I've never seen this woman before 2260 01:28:49,483 --> 01:28:50,616 in my life. 2261 01:28:50,683 --> 01:28:51,750 She's blackmailing me! 2262 01:28:51,817 --> 01:28:53,150 Governor: Baby doll, wait! 2263 01:28:53,217 --> 01:28:54,783 If you had sex with the Governor, 2264 01:28:54,850 --> 01:28:56,284 you saw him naked, right? 2265 01:28:56,351 --> 01:28:57,284 Totally. 2266 01:28:57,351 --> 01:28:58,950 Completely. 2267 01:28:59,017 --> 01:29:00,451 Buck. 2268 01:29:00,516 --> 01:29:02,084 Wally: Well, tell me this-- 2269 01:29:02,150 --> 01:29:04,050 Does the Governor have any distinguishing marks 2270 01:29:04,117 --> 01:29:05,850 on his body? 2271 01:29:05,917 --> 01:29:07,017 A birthmark 2272 01:29:07,084 --> 01:29:08,616 shaped like the State of Florida 2273 01:29:08,683 --> 01:29:10,417 on his left butt cheek. 2274 01:29:10,483 --> 01:29:12,917 Ho ho, really? Ha ha ha ha. 2275 01:29:16,217 --> 01:29:18,650 OK, lucky guess. 2276 01:29:18,717 --> 01:29:20,817 Show 'em. 2277 01:29:20,883 --> 01:29:22,317 Go on, Governor. 2278 01:29:22,384 --> 01:29:23,850 Show 'em. 2279 01:29:23,917 --> 01:29:24,984 [Muttering] 2280 01:29:25,050 --> 01:29:26,317 [Whispering] Cut. We're going to commercial. 2281 01:29:26,384 --> 01:29:27,817 You're an idiot! 2282 01:29:27,883 --> 01:29:28,817 Stay tuned, folks... 2283 01:29:28,883 --> 01:29:30,451 You're stupid! 2284 01:29:30,516 --> 01:29:32,451 That does it! 2285 01:29:32,550 --> 01:29:34,117 Director: And we're clear. 2286 01:29:34,184 --> 01:29:35,850 Crowd, settle, settle, settle. 2287 01:29:35,917 --> 01:29:36,850 Come on. 2288 01:29:36,917 --> 01:29:37,850 Floor manager: Makeup! 2289 01:29:37,917 --> 01:29:39,084 Director: All right, guys, 2290 01:29:39,150 --> 01:29:41,050 we need the makeup man to get rid of the shine. 2291 01:29:41,117 --> 01:29:43,451 Governor: I can overlook taking over the bedroom 2292 01:29:43,516 --> 01:29:45,550 and this camera crew and the dog food! 2293 01:29:45,616 --> 01:29:47,550 But how could you do this to me?! 2294 01:29:47,616 --> 01:29:49,417 I was just trying to help you. 2295 01:29:49,483 --> 01:29:51,351 Help me? You're burying me out there! 2296 01:29:51,417 --> 01:29:52,683 Aw, come back on. 2297 01:29:52,750 --> 01:29:54,351 I promise I'll fix everything. 2298 01:29:54,417 --> 01:29:56,416 Excuse me, 90 seconds, and we're back on the air. 2299 01:29:56,482 --> 01:29:58,283 No. No way I'm going back out there. 2300 01:29:58,350 --> 01:30:00,016 You got to come back on. 2301 01:30:00,083 --> 01:30:02,350 If you don't, you'll look worse than you look now. 2302 01:30:02,416 --> 01:30:03,849 Harvey, help me, help me. 2303 01:30:03,916 --> 01:30:05,116 What shall I do? 2304 01:30:05,183 --> 01:30:07,283 Well, I think you should-- 2305 01:30:07,350 --> 01:30:09,183 I don't know. 2306 01:30:09,249 --> 01:30:10,882 [Crying] 2307 01:30:10,949 --> 01:30:12,249 We'll miss-- 2308 01:30:12,316 --> 01:30:14,249 Floyd, are you all right? 2309 01:30:15,383 --> 01:30:16,882 I'm ruined. 2310 01:30:16,949 --> 01:30:18,849 Emily thinks I betrayed her. 2311 01:30:18,916 --> 01:30:20,416 It's all Sparks' fault. 2312 01:30:20,482 --> 01:30:21,882 Governor, you got to listen to me. 2313 01:30:21,949 --> 01:30:23,016 Trust me, will you? 2314 01:30:23,083 --> 01:30:24,016 Trust you? 2315 01:30:24,083 --> 01:30:25,383 Trust you?! I-- 2316 01:30:25,450 --> 01:30:27,882 Now, now, don't worry, Floyd. 2317 01:30:27,949 --> 01:30:30,816 I'll see that he hangs for this. 2318 01:30:30,882 --> 01:30:33,882 OK, 60 seconds. It's now or never. 2319 01:30:33,949 --> 01:30:35,383 All right, Governor, 2320 01:30:35,450 --> 01:30:37,849 what's it going to be? 2321 01:30:37,916 --> 01:30:40,183 Leave me alone. 2322 01:30:56,816 --> 01:30:58,183 I'm done. 2323 01:30:58,249 --> 01:30:59,849 Let's go. Come on. 2324 01:31:15,349 --> 01:31:16,681 Dad? 2325 01:31:32,514 --> 01:31:36,048 Daddy... this is all my fault. 2326 01:31:37,514 --> 01:31:40,781 Son, you didn't do anything. 2327 01:31:40,848 --> 01:31:42,215 Yes, I did. 2328 01:31:45,015 --> 01:31:47,415 I sent the invitation to Wally. 2329 01:31:51,382 --> 01:31:53,148 I did it... 2330 01:31:53,215 --> 01:31:57,315 because I wanted to get even with you. 2331 01:31:57,382 --> 01:31:59,982 I wanted you to stop being the Governor 2332 01:32:00,048 --> 01:32:03,915 and just go back to being my dad like you used to. 2333 01:32:09,881 --> 01:32:10,747 Robert... 2334 01:32:12,714 --> 01:32:14,981 I'm not gonna call you Robby anymore, 2335 01:32:15,047 --> 01:32:17,580 'cause that's a little boy's name. 2336 01:32:17,647 --> 01:32:19,680 You're a young man now. 2337 01:32:19,747 --> 01:32:21,547 It took a lot of courage 2338 01:32:21,613 --> 01:32:24,014 to just say what you did. 2339 01:32:24,081 --> 01:32:26,448 I'll tell you something. 2340 01:32:28,414 --> 01:32:31,281 Being your daddy's the best job I ever had. 2341 01:32:31,348 --> 01:32:34,114 And thank you for reminding me... 2342 01:32:34,181 --> 01:32:37,780 it's also the most important one. 2343 01:32:42,414 --> 01:32:43,448 Daddy... 2344 01:32:49,281 --> 01:32:51,747 Folks, the first half of the show 2345 01:32:51,814 --> 01:32:53,047 has been pretty amazing, 2346 01:32:53,114 --> 01:32:56,381 and the second half is no different. 2347 01:32:56,448 --> 01:32:58,480 And I'm gonna start the second half... 2348 01:32:59,780 --> 01:33:00,981 by telling you... 2349 01:33:04,114 --> 01:33:06,047 I can walk. 2350 01:33:06,114 --> 01:33:08,547 I've been faking it... 2351 01:33:08,613 --> 01:33:10,714 pretending I was hurt... 2352 01:33:10,780 --> 01:33:13,647 for my own selfish reasons. 2353 01:33:15,247 --> 01:33:18,046 You know, this may be my last show. 2354 01:33:18,113 --> 01:33:21,213 A lot of people think I shouldn't be on TV anymore. 2355 01:33:21,280 --> 01:33:22,713 Maybe they're right. 2356 01:33:22,779 --> 01:33:25,013 I'm only sorry for all the pain and suffering 2357 01:33:25,080 --> 01:33:26,579 I caused the Governor, 2358 01:33:26,646 --> 01:33:29,746 and how I hurt this sweet, innocent girl. 2359 01:33:29,813 --> 01:33:31,913 Look at that virgin smile. 2360 01:33:31,980 --> 01:33:33,913 A babe lost in the woods. 2361 01:33:33,980 --> 01:33:36,579 And you wanted to be an actress, didn't you? 2362 01:33:36,646 --> 01:33:38,146 That's right. Disney movies. 2363 01:33:38,213 --> 01:33:40,380 Oh, I'm sure you'd be right at home 2364 01:33:40,447 --> 01:33:41,413 with Pinocchio. 2365 01:33:41,479 --> 01:33:42,413 [Slide whistle] 2366 01:33:42,479 --> 01:33:44,080 Well, tonight, you're in luck, honey. 2367 01:33:44,146 --> 01:33:46,579 It so happens we have a clip of your acting debut. 2368 01:33:46,646 --> 01:33:47,646 Roll it, Sandy. 2369 01:33:47,713 --> 01:33:48,646 Go. 2370 01:33:48,713 --> 01:33:50,579 G-aah! Ohh... 2371 01:33:50,646 --> 01:33:54,246 Ho! Where'd you study acting, honey, down under? 2372 01:33:54,313 --> 01:33:56,913 She gives a new meaning to method acting. 2373 01:34:00,612 --> 01:34:01,879 Hey, with this role, 2374 01:34:01,946 --> 01:34:04,280 your acting career really got a head start. 2375 01:34:04,347 --> 01:34:05,946 But wait, folks, there's more. 2376 01:34:06,013 --> 01:34:08,612 TV: I never had sex with the Governor. 2377 01:34:08,679 --> 01:34:10,280 He was set up. 2378 01:34:10,347 --> 01:34:12,447 They slipped him a Mickey, 2379 01:34:12,512 --> 01:34:14,447 and while he was unconscious, 2380 01:34:14,512 --> 01:34:16,113 I took off my clothes, 2381 01:34:16,180 --> 01:34:19,213 and I posed for those pictures with him. 2382 01:34:19,280 --> 01:34:21,447 Well, thanks to my producer Sandy, 2383 01:34:21,512 --> 01:34:23,080 and a hidden video camera, 2384 01:34:23,146 --> 01:34:26,279 we happened to get this little performance on tape. 2385 01:34:26,346 --> 01:34:28,678 But wait... there's even more. 2386 01:34:31,145 --> 01:34:33,645 You see, Julius, what Lola doesn't know is, 2387 01:34:33,712 --> 01:34:35,645 we followed her into the woods, 2388 01:34:35,712 --> 01:34:37,478 where she had a rendezvous 2389 01:34:37,545 --> 01:34:40,678 with the big bad wolf himself! 2390 01:34:40,745 --> 01:34:42,812 [Swelling music] 2391 01:34:46,678 --> 01:34:50,611 Wally: I guess whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. 2392 01:34:50,678 --> 01:34:52,645 Judge Williams! 2393 01:34:52,712 --> 01:34:54,012 Randal! 2394 01:34:54,079 --> 01:34:56,979 Wow! Looks like the judge is banging more than his gavel. 2395 01:34:57,045 --> 01:34:58,812 This is absurd! I don't know this tramp! 2396 01:34:58,878 --> 01:35:01,112 Tramp? Screw you, Randy! 2397 01:35:01,179 --> 01:35:03,179 I ain't takin' the rap for this on my own! 2398 01:35:03,245 --> 01:35:05,145 He knew if Governor Preston got into the senate, 2399 01:35:05,212 --> 01:35:07,511 he'd prevent the development of the Civil War Theme park. 2400 01:35:07,578 --> 01:35:09,112 She's insane! Don't listen to her! 2401 01:35:09,179 --> 01:35:11,845 Judge here sunk all of his money into the surrounding property. 2402 01:35:11,912 --> 01:35:13,511 Said it was worth a fortune. 2403 01:35:13,578 --> 01:35:15,845 You said you were gonna share it with me! 2404 01:35:15,912 --> 01:35:16,979 Oh, go away, Lola! 2405 01:35:17,045 --> 01:35:19,312 Ooh! Looks like she misjudged the judge! 2406 01:35:19,379 --> 01:35:21,712 I'm gonna fix you, Sparks! 2407 01:35:21,778 --> 01:35:23,379 Charge! 2408 01:35:23,446 --> 01:35:24,511 Hey, get your own! 2409 01:35:24,578 --> 01:35:26,145 Just a slice. 2410 01:35:26,212 --> 01:35:27,678 Wally: Everybody, head for the hills! 2411 01:35:27,745 --> 01:35:29,012 Oh! Get the camera! 2412 01:35:30,412 --> 01:35:32,245 What's wrong? 2413 01:35:32,312 --> 01:35:33,811 Hey, get out of the way! 2414 01:35:33,877 --> 01:35:35,978 Williams: Prepare to die. 2415 01:35:36,044 --> 01:35:37,378 Keep moving, Wally! 2416 01:35:37,445 --> 01:35:39,178 Tighter. Get a 2-shot! 2417 01:35:39,244 --> 01:35:40,744 Aah! Ooh! Ooh! 2418 01:35:40,811 --> 01:35:43,378 Dad! Whoa! 2419 01:35:43,445 --> 01:35:44,877 En garde! 2420 01:35:44,944 --> 01:35:47,078 Whoo! 2421 01:35:47,144 --> 01:35:48,711 Aah! 2422 01:35:50,978 --> 01:35:52,877 Oh, come on! Pan out! 2423 01:35:52,944 --> 01:35:54,777 Judge, can't we talk it over? 2424 01:35:54,844 --> 01:35:57,044 Whoa! I see your point. 2425 01:35:57,111 --> 01:35:58,944 Get the wheelchair! Put the camera in it! Go on. 2426 01:36:04,411 --> 01:36:06,144 Fresh-cut flowers! Ooh! 2427 01:36:12,644 --> 01:36:13,510 Ohhh! 2428 01:36:17,610 --> 01:36:18,911 Busybody! 2429 01:36:18,978 --> 01:36:20,544 Know-it-all yankee! 2430 01:36:20,610 --> 01:36:22,078 Take it easy, judge! 2431 01:36:22,144 --> 01:36:23,944 Look out! He's nuts! 2432 01:36:30,510 --> 01:36:33,078 Preston: Randal, that is a priceless antique! 2433 01:36:33,144 --> 01:36:34,278 Oh, my gracious! 2434 01:36:34,345 --> 01:36:35,278 Aah! Aah! 2435 01:36:37,211 --> 01:36:39,211 Ow! Ooh! 2436 01:36:39,278 --> 01:36:40,345 Oh! Aah! 2437 01:36:43,010 --> 01:36:44,609 Aha! 2438 01:36:46,676 --> 01:36:47,977 Are you all right, son? 2439 01:36:48,043 --> 01:36:49,444 Sandy: Alec, get the camera upstairs! 2440 01:36:55,010 --> 01:36:56,344 Haa! Haa! 2441 01:36:56,410 --> 01:36:59,609 I had tuna fish for lunch! 2442 01:36:59,676 --> 01:37:01,177 Watch out! 2443 01:37:01,243 --> 01:37:03,310 She's got a gun! 2444 01:37:03,377 --> 01:37:06,444 Stay back! I'm warning you! 2445 01:37:06,509 --> 01:37:08,010 Robert, call 911. 2446 01:37:08,077 --> 01:37:10,743 You! Come here! 2447 01:37:10,810 --> 01:37:12,077 Oh, dear, you don't-- 2448 01:37:12,143 --> 01:37:13,444 Nobody try to stop me! 2449 01:37:18,310 --> 01:37:21,143 Hey, somebody, get me a lei! 2450 01:37:21,210 --> 01:37:22,810 I know I'm a kid. I'm not joking! 2451 01:37:22,876 --> 01:37:23,810 I'm taking her with me. 2452 01:37:23,876 --> 01:37:25,676 Don't even think about it. 2453 01:37:28,676 --> 01:37:29,643 Ho! Quick, get in there! 2454 01:37:29,710 --> 01:37:30,643 Get a closeup! 2455 01:37:30,710 --> 01:37:32,344 It's my gun! 2456 01:37:35,609 --> 01:37:37,676 Ooh! He got me right in the touché! 2457 01:37:38,876 --> 01:37:40,043 Aah! 2458 01:37:40,110 --> 01:37:41,344 Look! 2459 01:37:41,410 --> 01:37:43,043 Take that! 2460 01:37:43,110 --> 01:37:44,310 I got it! 2461 01:37:50,942 --> 01:37:52,076 Ha ha! 2462 01:37:53,443 --> 01:37:55,642 Ho ho! 2463 01:37:55,709 --> 01:38:00,242 [Gunshots] 2464 01:38:00,309 --> 01:38:02,042 Hit the deck! 2465 01:38:02,109 --> 01:38:03,542 Joey! 2466 01:38:05,909 --> 01:38:07,475 Ohh! 2467 01:38:07,542 --> 01:38:08,508 Get off me! 2468 01:38:08,575 --> 01:38:10,343 Whoa-- Ohh! 2469 01:38:10,409 --> 01:38:11,542 Hiyaah! 2470 01:38:11,608 --> 01:38:14,542 I just got circumcised by benihana! Ooh! 2471 01:38:18,608 --> 01:38:21,343 Don't think I won't use this. 2472 01:38:21,409 --> 01:38:23,176 Get back, or I'll blow your brains out. 2473 01:38:23,242 --> 01:38:24,709 Don't be a hero, Governor! 2474 01:38:26,242 --> 01:38:28,775 Wally: Hey! No fair! 2475 01:38:28,842 --> 01:38:29,775 Oh, no! 2476 01:38:29,842 --> 01:38:31,042 Heh heh heh... 2477 01:38:31,109 --> 01:38:32,042 Ha! 2478 01:38:32,109 --> 01:38:33,309 Adios, judge. 2479 01:38:34,475 --> 01:38:38,409 Aaaah! Get me a ball-buster! 2480 01:38:41,309 --> 01:38:45,042 Hey, now, don't say we never played catch, all right? 2481 01:38:45,109 --> 01:38:47,443 Hey! Excuse me! I've got the gun. 2482 01:38:47,508 --> 01:38:49,942 I need some wheels. 2483 01:38:50,009 --> 01:38:52,042 Governor, give me your car keys, now! 2484 01:38:52,109 --> 01:38:53,875 Chaaaarge! 2485 01:38:53,942 --> 01:38:56,774 Aaaaah! 2486 01:38:56,841 --> 01:38:58,874 Here comes the judge! 2487 01:38:58,941 --> 01:39:00,607 He got the chair! 2488 01:39:00,674 --> 01:39:02,874 Huh? Huh? 2489 01:39:02,941 --> 01:39:03,975 Aaaaaah! 2490 01:39:04,041 --> 01:39:06,008 Aaaaah! 2491 01:39:07,141 --> 01:39:08,342 Case closed. 2492 01:39:09,808 --> 01:39:10,741 That's our show, folks. 2493 01:39:10,808 --> 01:39:12,574 See you next week back in New York. 2494 01:39:12,641 --> 01:39:14,574 And remember, it's lonely at the top 2495 01:39:14,641 --> 01:39:16,574 when there's no one on the bottom. 2496 01:39:16,641 --> 01:39:17,908 See you next week, huh? 2497 01:39:17,975 --> 01:39:19,408 Dad, all right! I'm proud of you. 2498 01:39:19,474 --> 01:39:20,908 Maybe you should grow a beard. 2499 01:39:20,975 --> 01:39:22,574 You looked pretty good the other night. 2500 01:39:22,641 --> 01:39:23,641 Can I cut in? 2501 01:39:23,708 --> 01:39:26,075 Oh! This show is an Emmy for sure! 2502 01:39:26,141 --> 01:39:28,908 Oh, thanks to you, the polls are gonna be great! 2503 01:39:28,975 --> 01:39:30,908 Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. 2504 01:39:30,975 --> 01:39:32,841 They really are lovely people. 2505 01:39:35,674 --> 01:39:37,108 I was right. 2506 01:39:37,175 --> 01:39:38,941 Wally Sparks is a genius. 2507 01:39:39,008 --> 01:39:41,442 Miller's right. I'm a programming genius. 2508 01:39:41,507 --> 01:39:42,442 Give me Miller. 2509 01:39:42,507 --> 01:39:44,275 He's not in his office, sir, 2510 01:39:44,342 --> 01:39:45,941 and he hasn't been there all week. 2511 01:39:46,008 --> 01:39:47,141 Where the hell is he? 2512 01:39:47,208 --> 01:39:50,075 [Muffled cries] 2513 01:39:50,141 --> 01:39:51,541 [Chittering] 2514 01:39:56,342 --> 01:39:57,841 Mmphh! 2515 01:39:57,908 --> 01:40:00,442 [Boing] 2516 01:40:00,507 --> 01:40:03,375 [Pleasurable moaning] 2517 01:40:14,506 --> 01:40:16,473 [Applause] 2518 01:40:16,540 --> 01:40:17,807 Ladies and gentlemen, 2519 01:40:17,873 --> 01:40:20,506 I'd like to propose a toast, if I may, 2520 01:40:20,573 --> 01:40:21,974 to the bride and groom. 2521 01:40:22,040 --> 01:40:25,140 Dean, Priscilla... 2522 01:40:25,207 --> 01:40:26,773 may your love be everlasting. 2523 01:40:26,840 --> 01:40:28,606 Hear, hear! Hear, hear! 2524 01:40:28,673 --> 01:40:32,307 Ah, love, it makes the world go 'round! 2525 01:40:32,374 --> 01:40:33,974 Oh, you're wrong, Emily. 2526 01:40:34,040 --> 01:40:36,974 It makes it go up and down. 2527 01:40:37,040 --> 01:40:38,640 Here's to you, Governor-- 2528 01:40:38,707 --> 01:40:40,473 Or should I say Senator? 2529 01:40:40,540 --> 01:40:42,174 Yes, I think you should. 2530 01:40:42,240 --> 01:40:45,506 And I should say that I owe it all to you, Wally, 2531 01:40:45,573 --> 01:40:46,840 and to Robert. 2532 01:40:46,907 --> 01:40:49,174 Too bad judge Williams isn't here. 2533 01:40:49,240 --> 01:40:51,974 Hah. You'll see him in about 10 to 20 years. 2534 01:40:52,040 --> 01:40:53,307 I'm sure when he comes out, 2535 01:40:53,374 --> 01:40:54,707 he'll feel like a new woman. 2536 01:40:56,074 --> 01:40:58,840 Hey, what do you say we all get naked 2537 01:40:58,907 --> 01:41:01,506 and see who the best man is? 2538 01:41:01,573 --> 01:41:04,673 Hey, I'm betting on you, Governor. 2539 01:41:04,740 --> 01:41:05,673 Senator. 2540 01:41:05,740 --> 01:41:07,307 [Band plays tango] 2541 01:41:07,374 --> 01:41:09,673 Emily, baby, they're playing our song! 2542 01:41:09,740 --> 01:41:10,873 Oh, no! 2543 01:41:29,772 --> 01:41:31,806 Hoo-ah! 2544 01:41:33,440 --> 01:41:36,706 Ho ho! Ooh, Wally! 2545 01:42:28,705 --> 01:42:30,771 Hey, thank you, everybody. 2546 01:42:30,838 --> 01:42:33,439 On today's show, you're gonna meet a man 2547 01:42:33,504 --> 01:42:36,538 who has fallen in love... with a squirrel. 2548 01:42:40,005 --> 01:42:43,805 [Giggles] 2549 01:42:43,871 --> 01:42:45,972 Well, there you have it... 2550 01:42:46,038 --> 01:42:47,771 Alan Miller and... Acorn. 2551 01:42:47,838 --> 01:42:49,105 [Chitters] Yes! 2552 01:42:49,172 --> 01:42:50,705 Pretty nice couple, I'd say. 2553 01:42:50,771 --> 01:42:51,638 Yes. 2554 01:43:08,705 --> 01:43:12,138 [Devo performs Communication Breakup] 173879

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.