Original subtitles

(elegant orchestral music)

- Pad, not paw.

Mask, not head, brush, not tail.

Pad, mask, brush.

Oh, there you are.

Tea?

- Yeah.

- James has been trying to teach me the language.

You know nothing has tails.

Foxes have brushes, and hounds have--

- St--

- Sterns, like ships.

And they're never called dogs,

and a crop isn't a crop, it's a whip,

and as for horses, (laughs)

(Richard chuckles)

the nearer this weekend gets at Somerby's,

the more I dread it.

- I know exactly how you feel.

I can still vividly remember the first time I went to stay

at Southwold.

I made little lists for weeks if it hadn't,

if I hadn't been engaged for Marjorie,

I think I'd funked it.

- But you were different.

Well, you've been to a smart school, and Oxford.

You were used to it.

- Oh, you'd be surprised how naive I was.

After all, I was the son of a poor country parson.

Quite successful scholastically, I admit,

but then Greek doesn't go down very well

in the billiard room.

Furthermore, I had committed the appalling impertinence

of asking the eldest daughter of an earl to marry me.

- But you knew everything they did, their habits.

- Not a bit.

I couldn't play bridge, I rode like a sack of potatoes,

when we went shooting, I could feel old Walter Southwold's

beaded little eyes counting every bird I missed.

And my man in London hadn't put in a white-whiskered.

Oh, but things are quite different now.

Be great fun.

And well the, the Newburys are very easy.

You know them, don't you?

- We've dined with them once, in London.

I liked Bunny.

I wasn't too sure about his wife.

- Diana? Oh she's all right.

James and Diana have known each other for years.

They're practically brought up together.

In fact, Marjorie thought one ti--

(sighs) I mean, um, we thought.

- What a suitable wife she would've made for your son.

- Oh, no, no, not exactly that.

- She was so overwhelmingly friendly, I nearly suffocated.

(Richard scoffs)

I'm sure I shall make the most ghastly faux pas,

and James will be dreadfully shamed.

- Now you just be yourself.

- I don't even know what to wear.

Is it tiaras or turbans at dinner?

- (chuckles) You'll need a maid.

- Yes, I know.

The thought of a strange woman doing my hair horrifies me.

- Take Rose.

She always used to look after Elizabeth.

She knows all about it.

- Hudson would have a fit.

- Oh, no, no, nonsense.

We've got that temporary girl and the cleaning women.

I think we'll just about survive a weekend.

- (chuckles) I'm sorry, Richard.

I'm being a bore.

- I think you'll be a great success.

- Well, hello Father, hello darling.

Just tried on my new britches.

The man says they're the best pair he's made this year.

- Darling, how clever.

- Hm, or rather extravagant,

but deadly smart, all those Meltonians.

- Hazel was just saying

how much she's looking forward to going.

- Hm, oh yes, will be great fun.

-[Rose] Hat brush.

-[Edward] Yes.

-[Rose] Velvet pad.

-[Edward] Yup.

-[Rose] Gloves.

-[Edward] Yup.

- Two pair spurs, complete with straps.

- Well, why he wants two pairs, Rose?

- One blunt, one sharp, depending on the horse.

- How would you fancy these

pressed into your tender flanks, Rose?

- Boot paws.

- Yup.

- Boot jockeys.

- Ah, yup.

- Hunting whip.

-[Edward] Mm-hmm.

- Top hat.

- That's it.

- Boots, and that's all.

Now remember, Edward, when we're there,

I am Ms. Buck, and you are Mr. Barnes.

- Yes, Rose.

Hey, will I have to help wait and all that?

- You will not demean yourself by such a thing.

You're Captain Bellamy's man and as such,

you will not lift a finger to touch nothing

that isn't his.

Now like as not, we'll be asked to take our meals

in a steward's room.

You'll probably be asked to take in somebody else's maid.

- Ho-ho, I hope she's a good looker.

- None of that Edward.

There's temptations in them big houses.

(Rose grimaces)

- That's what I thought weekends in the country

were for, Rose.

You know, a little bit of what you fancy, eh?

(Edward scoffs) Oh, I beg pardon, Ms. Buck.

I can see I've offended your delicate sensibilities.

(both chuckle)

Come on, Rose, we're off.

(door closes)

(horses trotting)

(door creaks open)

(footsteps)

(doorbell ringing)

(dog barking)

(footsteps)

Hey, look at those bells, Rose!

Look, and Lord Charles Gilmour, the Old Wheel room.

Captain and Mrs. Bellamy, the Green Silk Room.

The Honorable Mrs. Tewkesbury, the Pink Room,

Major and Mrs. Cochrane-Danby in the Orange Room.

- Good evening.

Would you be the Bellamys?

-[Rose] Um, how'd you do, Mr. Makepeace?

Mr. Hudson sent his car in regards.

- Mr. Breeze, Lord Newbury's man.

Mr. Makepeace is unfortunately indisposed.

- Well, that's one way of putting it.

- Ah, Cecile, the Bellamys.

Mademoiselle Ronber, her ladyship's maid.

- I'm Ms. Buck, Mr. Barnes.

- Oh yes, you are in the Green Silk Room,

and wish you to have a very nice stay.

-[Henry] Footman!

-[Mr. Breeze] Henry.

- Oh.

- Come, that way.

- Thank you.

And now, Ms. Buck, may I show you your room?

- Thanking you, Mr. Breeze.

- Not at all, Ms. Buck.

- Well, I said to him, he should've known,

seal and Sandringham trousers are pressed the same.

He doesn't know the first thing, that man,

and that sort never learn.

-[Mr. Breeze] Aye, you can't teach an old dog.

- That's right, Mr. Breeze.

He didn't even bring Windsor livery.

- (clears throat) I think I'll go up

and unpack now, Mr. Breeze.

- First floor, you'll see the card on the door.

- Thank you.

(clock ticking)

(door closes)

- Nice-looking boy.

Nice, fresh complexion.

Well if I don't have him, Cecile will.

- [Mrs. Cochrane-Danby] She was awfully cross

and he didn't a thing about it.

(all laugh)

-[Diana] There you are.

-[Bunny] Jimmy.

- Diana.

- I'm sorry, the train was late. (smooches)

- Come over and get warm and have some tea.

- Thank you, Bunny.

- James, I think you know everybody.

- Kitty, Natalie, Charles.

Hello, Cochy.

- Ah.

- Hazel, I don't think you've met Mrs. Tewkesbury.

- Hello.

-[Diana] Mrs. Cochrane-Danby.

- How do you do?

We've all heard so much about you.

-[Diana] Lord Charles Gilmour.

- We've met, I think briefly with your father-in-law

at the House of Commons.

- Oh, yes.

-[Diana] And Major Cochrane-Danby.

- I say, how do you do?

Jolly nice to meet you.

- I didn't have a party.

I thought Hazel would rather have a quiet weekend

after all the hurly-burly of London.

- Thank you.

- Do sit down.

Bunny will get you some tea.

- Huh, oh, yeah.

- Tell me, what sort of day did you have?

- Oh, pretty middling.

- Oh, Bunny, it was great fun. (chuckles)

- Frank said it was the best Friday

the corn have had this season.

-[Diana] Bunny got left as usual and missed the hunt.

-[Major] Well, it was a fox in Carrington.

-[Diana] That wasn't Carrington's, that was (mumbles).

- We left Ashberry Pastures on our right

and went round Great Derby.

- Charles jumped the biggest oxer you've ever seen

in your life.

- It was a good horse I bought from the yellow man.

-[Diana] That's right, Pickles' stock.

-[Tewkesbury] I don't think he ever got over it.

I never saw him again.

-[James] Oh, Pickles hung up his boots years ago.

-[Charles] Poor old chap, he's rather pathetic.

- [Mrs. Cochrane-Danby] Very barbaric.

-[Tewkesbury] He's lost his nerve.

Doesn't go a yard!

- Too much of this.

(all chuckle)

- Angela had a horrible form, did you see?

- That big ditch above Gartree Hill.

-[Diana] Yes.

-[Charles] Riding one of Rip's nice young horses.

- [Mrs. Cochrane-Danby] She was quite mad, of course.

A four-year-old, green as hell, straight off the bob.

-[Tewkesbury] There was a lot of grief,

loose horses everywhere!

- There was one poor fellow lying for dead on the road,

near Moscow Farm.

(all laugh)

Well, I don't know who he was,

he was on a sort of common gray.

-[Diana] A visitor!

-[Bunny] Yes.

-[Tewkesbury] A little man of absolutely no account.

He had a diamond horseshoe on his stock pin.

Yeah, I saw it at the meet.

Quite horribly knit.

(all laugh)

- James. - Hm?

-[Bunny] James, come with me to the stables, eh?

- Oh, right.

(footsteps)

- Who was that halfwitted girl

who cut in on Algier at that fence by Barrow Hill Wood?

- Rather pretty girl.

- Frank says he doesn't half the people

hunting with the corn this season.

- In Lordy's day, she'd have been sent smartly home,

perfect menace.

- [Mrs. Cochrane-Danby] Why the Wilsons let Lexy

come out riding astride in that sort of coachman's coat,

I'll never know.

-[Charles] You're all jealous she goes so well.

-[Major] Do you hunt, Mrs. Bellamy?

- No.

-[Diana] That was a jolly nice little--

- But I've ridden a bit in London.

- I'd say what fun.

-[Diana] That was Ms. Patkin, the whole--

- Nothing more boring than other people's hunting stories,

except their children and other ailments.

- Oh, I am rather enjoying it.

I've never heard so many nice people I didn't know

talk about so many nice horses I didn't know.

(Cochrane laughs)

- I say, that's jolly funny, I must remember that.

I bet you look handsome on a horse.

- Well, I...

- No, I mean it.

- Do you live up here, Major Danby?

- Oh, god no.

No one actually lives up here.

Just come up to Leicestershire, don't you know,

for the hunting.

- You mean you all come up here just to hunt foxes?

- No, dear lady, not just to hunt foxes.

- Hazel, if Cochy can spare you,

come up and let me show you your room.

Bunny's taking James off to see if the horses are back yet.

(footsteps)

What a sweet little hat.

- Thank you.

-[Diana] Mm.

- Well.

- Not bad-looking in a (mumbles) sort of way.

- Really quite presentable.

If only she wouldn't open her mouth.

- Damned attractive girl, huh?

- Girl?

- Why she's still only a bride.

- She's as old as I am if she's a day.

- And how is your third husband, isn't he a darling?

I mean quite apart from one or two

who got under the wire.

- She's jealous.

It's quite obvious if you've read your Freud

that dear James has got a mother fixation.

When he lost his mother, he had to find a replacement.

Love voila.

- Oh, dear Charles.

When you start being intelligent,

I never understand one word you say.

Let's all go and have lovely lie-downs.

-[Major] Mm.

- Charles?

- Well, Mr. Breeze, I see we've got a whole lot of odds

and ends here again this weekend.

- Yes, indeed, Mr. Gilmour.

I really don't know why his lordship asks some of them.

- Sort as asked themselves, aren't they?

- Excuse me but if you're referring to my master

and his wife--

- Mr. Gilmour was referring to Major

and Mrs. Danby, I fancy, who's you might say

are on the fringe of society,

not having personal servants of their own.

- Black ties tonight, gentlemen, if you please.

(clock ticking)

- Lord Charles is up here for the hunting, I suppose,

Mr. Gilmour?

Lord Charles hunts in Leicestershire, always has done,

as everyone knows, but I wouldn't exactly say

that is why we are visiting Somerby.

We are, for our sins, susceptible to the ladies,

and the present object of our affections

has a husband who isn't exactly enthusiastic.

Well, rather the opposite, if you get my meaning.

That is why we are here in this drafty old barracks

miles away from anywhere.

- Oh, I see.

Lord Charles has some nice things.

- Yes.

We have some even nicer things upstairs.

You must allow me to show them to you sometime.

- Oh I'd like that, Mr. Gilm...

(door closes)

(Cecile clears throat)

- You are finding everything to your liking?

- Oh, (clears throat) oh yes, thank you, Miss?

- Mademoiselle Cecile.

- Edward.

- You are a nice-looking boy, Edward.

Young for a valet de chambre, not like some of them.

You know.

(Edward laughs)

- No, not likely.

- You are sleeping down here?

-[Edward] Yes, um, just along the corridor.

- By yourself?

-[Edward] Oh yes.

I mean I hope so.

- I hope not.

(Edward scoffs)

Now, you are blushing.

(Edward whimpers)

(metal clanging outside)

(door closes)

-[Rose] Edward!

-[Edward] Yes, Rose?

- What are you doing?

Captain James is out of the bath and waiting!

- Um, sorry, Rose.

I'm new to this job.

-[Rose] Yeah.

- Oh, um...

If you'll excuse me mentioning it, madam.

- Yes, Rose.

- Well, Lady Marjorie always used to say,

"No diamonds in the country."

- Thank you, Rose.

- Except if it's for a big, formal party,

or a ball, of course.

- These?

- Most appropriate.

-[Rose] There.

-[Hazel] Thank you, Rose.

(footsteps)

- You look very beautiful tonight, my darling.

Very proud of you.

Thank you, Rose.

(Rose exhales loudly)

(Edward clears throat)

- If you will excuse my mentioning it, madam,

but no diamonds in the country.

- Have you charged away Captain James' clothes?

- Yes, Rose.

- Put out his night things?

- No, Rose.

- Why then go and do it now.

(Edward sighing)

(Rose sighing)

Mm.

And don't forget to put the toothpaste on the brush!

(elegant orchestral music)

- Oh, come on, Cochy, aren't you ready yet?

-[Charles] Bravo!

-[Tewkesbury] Bravo.

(all clapping)

- First syllable.

-[Tewkesbury] How many are there?

- Oh, that would be telling!

(oinking like a pig)

- He, he's a piggy-wig!

- No, a wild boar.

Well, he's too fast for a pig.

- A boar, of course!

Cochy doesn't even need to act that.

(Mrs. Tewkesbury chuckles)

(Charles laughs and claps)

- Well done.

- Boars and pigs.

- Uh, second syllable.

(James grunts and moans)

(James makes kissing noises)

- I really don't know what he's meant to be doing.

-[Charles] Lover.

-[Tewkesbury] Caveman.

- Hazel, my dear, what a life you must lead at home.

(Mrs. Tewkesbury laughs)

(Diana giggles)

(all clap)

(door opens)

(door closes)

- Edward.

Edward, (mumbles).

-[Edward] What does that mean, Cecile?

-[Cecile] Tonight, if you see the shoes pointing like that,

outside Lady Newbury's home,

it means I shall be waiting for you.

- Uh, (clears throat) third and last syllable.

(women laugh)

(James growling and roaring)

- I know, I know,

- Fierce lot they are.

(James growling and roaring)

-[Tewkesbury] Tiger!

- [Mrs. Cochrane-Danby] A lion.

(James growling)

- Androcles and the lion.

(James growling)

That was Androcles, that caveman.

- No, he was a Christian slave.

Now what about the boar?

- Oh, Boar by Shore, haven't you seen it?

Dreadful play.

The lion was the only lucky one not to have a speaking part.

(Charles and Tewkesbury laugh)

- Uh, and now the whole word.

- I've got it.

Boar de Leon.

Borderline!

-[Diana] Wrong!

That's all wrong, wrong.

-[Major] I say, Diana, aren't you going too far?

- Eh, it's all right, we're all friends.

Cochy, the chair.

-[Major Cochrane] Oh.

- Have you started?

- Have you started now?

Diana, the huntress.

(steady tapping)

- Leonardo.

Leon the lion.

-[Tewkesbury] Oh, I say.

- [Mrs. Cochrane-Danby] My dear, this is becoming

very Rive Gauche.

(James breathes deeply)

- Wasn't there a king or someone

who once worshiped a statue?

- Midas!

- Cochy, come on.

- Oh now, oh.

(Tewkesbury laughs)

(Charles laughs)

- My dear, do you think that this has been passed

by the Lord Chamberlain?

- I know, it's a king of Cyprus.

It's shore again, it's Pyg--

- Pygmalion!

- Yes!

(Mrs. Cochrane-Danby and Charles clapping)

- I don't see that.

It's all so muddling.

- Pig, male, lion.

Actually dear, Pygmalion.

- Oh!

(Mrs. Cochrane-Danby chuckles)

(people clapping)

-[Charles] Well done, thank you.

-[Tewkesbury] Bravo.

- Thank you. (people clapping)

- Oh, Bunny, you've just missed your wife

practically seducing James in public.

(Diana laughing softly)

- Won't be the first time.

(footsteps)

- Or the last.

(Tewkesbury chuckles)

-[Bunny] Now, uh, hunting tomorrow.

They're meeting here.

James, Sam Hanes is bringing a horse across for you

and he swears it can jump.

Now, what about Hazel?

- Hazel doesn't hunt.

- You ride, don't you, Hazel?

- I'm sure she'd love to.

- Wouldn't be messing about in the wood all morning.

No jumping or anything.

Hazel could have that old mare of your mother's.

- Oh, yes.

Blueberry, now she's as quiet as a cat.

- I'm sorry, Hazel isn't going to hunt.

- The voice of the master.

- Let's all have a drink.

- Um, uh James, game of billiards.

- Yes.

(footsteps)

- Drinks then?

- Well, I think I'm for bye-byes.

-[Diana] Good night, Natalie, darling.

(Tewkesbury makes kissing sounds)

-[Major] Good night, my dear.

- I'm really rather weary.

- I hope she isn't too weary.

(Diana laughing)

- James is really turning into a caveman.

- [Mrs. Cochrane-Danby] I hope you have strong hair,

Hazel dear.

- I think it's jolly bad luck if Hazel does want to hunt.

- I wouldn't stand for my husband

ordering me about like that.

- We know that, darling.

- If you would like to hunt, you jolly well hunt.

- [Mrs. Cochrane-Danby] Well it's no good forcing her

to do something she doesn't want to do.

- James doesn't want me to do.

- Don't you let James rot you.

He's getting very bossy

and it's time he was taught a lesson.

- I haven't any proper clothes.

- Enough clothes in this house

to equip a female squadron of yeomanry.

- Why don't you wait til they've moved off,

and come out later?

-[Diana] You can have a groom to bring you out.

- [Mrs. Cochrane-Danby] Oh, I would adore

to see James' face.

(Diana laughs loudly)

- Oh, it'd be rather fun, wouldn't it? (chuckles)

- Yes, it would be rather fun.

(everyone laughs)

- I say, what a lark. (chuckles)

(animal howling)

(bell tolling)

(footsteps)

(clock ticking)

(door opens)

(door closes)

(clock ticking)

(Edward scurrying)

(door closes)

(people murmuring)

(dog barks)

(people murmuring)

- Good morning to you, master.

(people murmuring)

- Cochy, Cochy, where is Charlie and Natalie?

- Last seen drawing lingerie.

(both laugh)

(people murmuring)

(hooves clacking)

- It's a pity the mistress doesn't hunt, Rose.

I think she'd look nice.

- Mm, I'm sure she would.

- Still, I suppose, she's not been brought up to it.

I mean, not like the other ladies.

Hey, talking of other ladies, Rose.

Do you know what I've just seen in the Orange Room?

- No, and I don't want to neither.

Okay, Edward, get on with your work.

-[Edward] What's that mean, Rose?

- You go away, we don't you.

- Now, look.

- Some men are never in the right place

when they are wanted, are they, Rose?

- Push off.

- Oh, come on, Rose, what's happened?

- Out!

(Edward sighs)

(women chuckling)

- Hunt, please.

(people murmuring and horses trotting)

(elegant orchestral music)

-[Horseman] Good morning.

-[Man] Good morning, after you.

(elegant orchestral music)

(horses trotting)

- Thank you, Rose.

Thank you.

(Rose exhales)

(door opens)

(door closes)

- There you are.

That looks a nice, confidential animal.

- Good morning, madam.

-[Hazel] Good morning.

- All right?

(man shouting)

- Oh, they found a fox.

You should have some fun.

Off you go.

(horse trotting)

Good luck.

(horses galloping)

-[Man] Path, go! Holloa!

(horses galloping)

-[Man] Ready!

Hold hard!

(horses galloping)

(people murmuring)

- Who's that good-looking woman on the dark gray?

- I've never seen her before in my life.

- Hazel!

Hazel, pull it back!

(horses galloping)

- Who is that bloody woman?

Holloa!

(horse galloping)

(exciting orchestral music)

(horse galloping)

(Hazel sobbing)

- Oh, James.

- I hope that will teach you a lesson

that you will never forget!

Will you please see my wife home safely.

- James, James, is Hazel all right?

- Yes.

- Look, I'm awfully sorry about this.

- I think I better apologize to the master

for my wife's behavior.

- Hazel.

Oh, Hazel.

- Oh, Bunny.

(elegant orchestral music)

- Yeah, you drink this, my dear.

- Oh, I made such a fool of myself.

- Doesn't sound to me that you did.

What a nasty thing to run away with, happens to us all,

but jumping the avenue gate, and staying on,

and then pulling the brute up, it's a damn fine thing.

I think you're a very plucky girl.

- You're very kind.

I couldn't help it.

- Nonsense.

Not many women hunting in Leicestershire

could do a thing like that.

- Go on.

- Yeah, Mick says she was galloping along,

jumping gates like they were hurdles!

None of the gentlemen could catch her.

Been nothing like it since Lady Warwick was up here.

- There's some as like showing off.

- That's a very good joke coming from you.

You should've seen your Lord Charles and that woman

in the smoking room after luncheon.

* Who were you with last night

- But I don't think Captain James would like it.

- Oh, he ought to be proud of her.

- Well he was livid, wasn't he?

Wasn't that what the groom said?

- They always have a big row

when they come back from hunting.

That's what they like.

Then, they make love.

- Before dinner?

- Yes, and after, often.

- Cecile?

- Just like a bunch of children.

- Children!

I'm off.

(footsteps)

- Much cozier in here, madam.

The bathrooms in this place are that big and drafty.

Did you enjoy the hunting, madam?

- Yes, thank you, Rose.

Downstairs, they were saying,

"Never seen nothing like it,

"not since Lady Warwick was up here."

(water pouring)

- Really, the way James behaves is too ridiculous.

Going off into a sulk like a spoiled child.

No harm came to his precious wife.

- Yes, but it could've been very nasty there.

Tell me, why wasn't Hazel riding mother's old mare?

I thought that was the idea.

- She was lame, so I let Hazel ride the new horse

I bought in Ireland.

Thank you, Cecile.

- The one you couldn't hardly stop yourself

even in a gag?

Look, she might have fallen off.

I do think that's a bit hard.

- She shouldn't have said she could ride if she couldn't.

Then she wouldn't have made such a fool of herself.

Anyway, you try falling off sidesaddle, darling.

Don't be a bore!

- I say, what a business.

- Is Hazel all right?

- Oh, yes, I looked after her.

- I'm sure you did, Cochy dear.

Held her hand and told her

what a brave little woman she was.

(Major chuckles)

So let's forget all about it and have our tea.

(door opens)

(door slams shut)

- Well?

Did you have a nice hunt?

- I take it, from all this sniggering

that's going on behind my back,

that your little exhibition was supposed to be

some sort of a joke, hm?

Well if so, I hope you enjoyed it.

One thing is quite sure.

Everyone around here will be laughing their heads off

their body for the rest of the winter.

- James, I'm sorry.

Now please go away and leave me alone.

- I certainly shan't go til I've had some explanation

on why you deliberately disobeyed me.

I thought I made myself perfectly clear.

- Well, it wasn't really my idea in the first place.

- Don't, don't try and blame it on other people.

You knew very well--

- Don't go on about it!

They all said that you were getting arrogant and stuffy,

and that you need a teaching a lesson.

Well my god, they were right!

- Oh, so you agreed to collaborate, hm?

Oh, that was very loyal of you.

- I was only trying to do what you've been telling me to do,

week after week.

To get on with your silly friends!

-[James] Well they may be silly but they know how to ride,

which is more than you can do, so stop boasting about it.

- Some people thought I did rather well.

-[James] (scoffs) Some, Cochy, I suppose.

- Yes.

-[James] Yes, well what the hell does he know about it?

(door opens)

(door closes)

(door opens)

The master said to see if I could interest my wife

in paper-chasing in future.

(door slams shut)

- All right?

- Yes, thank you.

- Come and have a drink

and stop looking like a cross old sheepdog.

(footsteps)

(James pours drink)

- You were behind all this, weren't you?

- Me? (scoffs)

- You're a very wicked girl.

- Darling James, you've known that for years,

haven't you?

- Cock a doodle doo!

Hello.

- Hello.

- My dressing room door was open so I...

I say, you do look beautiful.

-[Hazel] Major Danby, do you usually come

into a lady's bedroom without an invitation?

- Didn't I read an invitation in your eyes?

My dear lady is sad.

- I'm quite all right, thank you.

- What's the matter?

You can tell me.

Let me wipe the tears from those pretty eyes.

(Hazel sniffs)

It's that husband of yours, isn't it?

- Well there'd be the most terrible row

if he came now and saw you here.

- But he won't, my dear, will he?

Otherwise engaged, what?

- Doing what?

- Now you're teasing me.

But you musn't be upset, it's not serious, it's only games.

- Games?

- Bed games.

He's been playing bed games with Diana for years.

Everybody does it.

Such fun, you know.

And country house weekends will be pretty dull

if everybody didn't, you know.

I say, you have the most absolutely stunning shoulders.

Oh, what about a little bed game of our own, eh?

What a lovely, bouncy bed.

It's much softer than mine.

Major Danby, I think it will be so much better

if you went back to your room and...

- Why, say, assuming you were--

(loud knocking)

Huh?

As soon as you're free, three knocks.

(door closes)

- Come in. (sniffs)

- Madam?

- Rose, we are going back to London.

- What, tonight?

- Yes, now, immediately.

- All ready, Rose?

-[Rose] Madam.

(footsteps)

Ought to give this to Captain James,

but not for a half hour, got it?

- Yes, Rose.

- Why, he doesn't know the first thing, that man.

I said to him, "Send his grace out with the (mumbles)

"wearing a black coat."

It's enough to make Lord Lonsdale take the yarns home.

- Mr. Strawbridge is master of the Cottesmore.

- Well, at the time I am speaking of, it was Lord Lonsdale.

- Isn't that a car?

- I think it's Mrs. Cochrane-Danby back.

- Ah, Kitty.

Been sharpening her claws on Daisy Place over at Belgrave.

Corn Kitten Cottesmore cats, and I wouldn't mind betting

Major Cochy's been sniffing round your lady, Edward.

- Really?

- What's up with you, Eddie?

- You've seen the Somerby Ghost?

- (scoffs) No.

- Saw them chops, I wouldn't mind it.

- Lets have your brown paper, lad,

here, let me show you.

(rolls dice)

(dice rolling in can)

- I think Diana sometimes goes a bit too far.

- Hm?

- Switching horses like that and putting your wife

on an animal that pulls like a train.

- Yes.

- Jealous, of course.

Your game.

Time for another?

- No, there's a second dressing gone. (mumbles)

Oh, for me?

- Sir.

- It can't be all revenge after dinner.

Who gave you this?

- Your man, sir.

- Will you ask him to wait a moment, please.

- Certainly, sir.

- Anything wrong?

- No, it's just that I seem particularly prone

to practical jokes this weekend.

- Hello, James.

Did you have a good day?

(James mumbles)

How's Hazel?

- Why do you ask?

- Oh, I don't know.

I just wondered.

(door opens)

- Edward.

Did you know Mrs. Bellamy had left?

- Yes, sir.

- How long ago was it?

- About a half an hour ago, sir.

They were gonna catch 7:20, sir.

- And why didn't you tell me before?

- I was told not to, sir.

- By whom?

- By Rose, sir, on behalf of the mistress, of course.

- And you put Mrs. Bellamy before me?

- What, no, sir.

Of course not, sir, but, well Rose said,

well Mr. Hudson said I've got to do as Rose says

while we was away.

- You have no idea why she left?

- No, sir.

- Rose didn't tell you?

- No, sir.

Mrs. Bellamy did seem a bit upset, sir,

but well she just asked me to telephone to the station up

for a cab and well then, she gave me

that letter as they left.

- I see.

(crumples letter)

Uh, excuse me, sir.

There's no connection now.

The exchange closed at seven.

(slams receiver)

Well there's a train at 8:50, we'll catch it.

Pack everything ready.

- Yes, sir.

- (laughs) What a drama, I wish I hadn't missed it all.

(Mrs. Tewkesbury laughs)

- I thought Hazel Bellamy came out best.

I thought she was a damn blackie.

- And now, Bunny is furious with Diana,

and James is livid with Hazel.

-[Major] Oh.

- I say, have you heard the latest?

Hazel Bellamy's bolted.

- Bolted?

Not again, not twice in one day.

- But how, darling?

- She's just up sticks and dashed off to London

without telling anyone.

- (scoffs) But why on earth?

- Well she must've gone quite a hurry.

- Aren't we ever gonna have dinner?

I'm famished.

Even though the cooking in this house needs--

- Shh.

It's like a play by Pinero.

Whatever next?

(Mrs. Tewkesbury laughs)

- Look, if there's anything we can do, James,

now do let us know.

I don't suppose any of you can cast any light

on the mysterious departure of Hazel Bellamy?

- Oh, dear Bunny, you sound just like S. Holmes' squire.

- Well, it is damn upsetting.

I mean, James has gone off in a hell of a state.

- Apparently, somebody was in her room,

talking to her after tea.

- And probably her maid.

- A man's voice, according to my maid.

- Well, I was in here, playing backgammon with James.

- Don't all look at me.

- You forgot to lock your dressing room door.

- Cochy, you dirty old stoat, at it again.

- I never touched her, Kitty, darling.

I swear, I just went in to see if she was all right.

You know, after the shock.

- Cochy dear, the shock of seeing you in one's bedroom,

bearing down on one at full steam ahead

is enough to make anyone run away to London.

- Natalie, you are speaking of my husband.

(Bunny clears throat)

- I'd like a word with you after dinner.

- Don't be pompous, Bunny.

Cochy can't help it.

(door closes)

- Dinner is served, my lady.

- Thank you.

- Well, thanks to La Bellamy, this is turning out

to be quite the jolly weekend.

(Mrs. Tewkesbury and Mrs. Cochrane-Danby laugh)

(people murmuring)

- They were quite funny, really.

Like a lot of grownup children playing with fire.

- Will lead them to pointless lives,

so they have silly games to keep themselves

from dying of boredom.

What is quite unforgivable is James' behavior.

- Everyone up there seemed to think it was considered

just another game.

I supposed I was silly to run away, but,

I was so desperately hurt, Richard.

- Yes, yes, I know.

- How they'll all be laughing about it now.

- I've never heard of anything so cruel and thoughtless,

that a son of mine could--

- I don't think I can face him, Richard.

- He won't come tonight.

He does show his face again, you just leave him to me.

-[James] (mumbles) Edward?

-[Edward] Yes, sir.

(James mumbling)

Very good, sir.

(opens door)

- James?

- I'd like to talk to Hazel alone, please, Father.

- I think Hazel will prefer that I stayed,

so that you can explain your behavior to both of us.

- My behavior?

What made you bolt like that?

-[Richard] Can't you think of one good reason?

- No, I can't.

I've been trying to for the last three hours.

Why didn't you tell me you wanted to leave?

- For once, I don't think you're darling Diana

would've been very amused if I had walked into her bedroom

and asked to be allowed to talk to my husband.

- First, let me say that I have never been

in Diana Newbury's bed, either before or after her marriage.

Second, let me say that after tea,

I never for one minute left the hall.

I played backgammon with Charles Gilmour,

and until the man brought your note,

the only movement I made was to get myself a drink.

Father, Charles Gilmour is a friend of Rose.

You can confirm it.

Who told you this nonsense?

- Major Danby.

- Cochy.

(chuckles) Should be shocked!

- James.

- I suppose, he pussyfooted his way into your room?

- James.

I wish you'd been there.

(laughs) He was so funny.

(both laugh)

Oh, James!

(Richard chuckles)

(elegant orchestral music)