Original subtitles

This is my favorite week of the year, homecoming. That is why I am wearing my

school colors.

Back at Sammy Davis Senior Junior, my cheer team, we would decorate campus.

We wore our uniforms, and we even got into a little mischief.

Our rival was Harry Connick Junior, Junior College, and the crooners had

big old statue of their namesake. And one year, someone turned his microphone

into a wiener.

That's the kind of fun we had, allegedly.

I don't know who would do something like this.

Kind of something that helps you bond as a team. That's what we need on our long

road to Daytona. And that's why I just can't wait to see what this quirky

college has in store.

Oh, Lord, they didn't do anything.

What the heck is this trash?

Oh, okay. At least there's a sign.

I didn't even spell it right.

Oh, there you go. Blue water. Our school colors. It's not much, but it's a

start.

Ooh, I can really taste the spirit.

False alarm.

No, it's real.

Okay, let's go.

Okay, let's go.

Now,

I

think that football player over there.

No, he doesn't.

I think this is for you.

Uh... Hey.

I think it's for you, Sally.

Girl, can't you tell when a boy likes you?

Stop kicking my chair.

Stop backing your chair into my foot.

Oh, my God.

Nobody drink out of that water fountain out there.

Also, where is all the school spirit in his life?

Why is nobody wearing school colors? Especially my cheerleaders. Y 'all know,

they were playing East South Oklahoma Junior College for homecoming this week.

Oh, our homecoming game is away, actually. For seven weeks after the

Factory releases its new color, it's dangerous to be outside for long periods

time. Or short periods of time. So if you have a cough or a colorful diarrhea

for more than six weeks, please see a doctor.

So y 'all don't do anything for homecoming? Well, technically we're not

no one's coming.

This feels...

What happened to your eye, hon?

I took your advice about extracurricular activities and joined a club. Oh.

Fight club. The first rule of Hedleston Junior College Fight Club is to tell

everyone about it.

It's a new club, and we're trying to get more members.

So you are telling me that we have a fight club, but we don't have homecoming

activities?

Who do I need to talk to about this?

You wanted to see me?

Are you bad, Chet?

You can call me Tom.

Oh, I'm Courtney Potter.

I'm the cheer coach.

I'm just wondering why we don't do anything for homecoming week.

We try to have games, but breathing is dangerous.

Oh, I understand, yeah.

But what about school spirit?

There is a lot to be... Well, there's some stuff to be proud of here.

Let my cheer team have a pep rally, and I guarantee it will make a huge

difference for this school.

Look, you're not from here. We don't like change at Hiddleston. In fact, we

banned coins back in 2003.

That was my doing.

So, when you see something that costs $1 .04 and you have to round up to $2, you

can say, that's bat shit.

Look, this might sound crazy, bat shit, but school pride, it makes kids feel

like they belong to something.

Yeah. Give them a rival. Right now, their only rival is life.

Okay. You're quite the fighter.

You're not available Wednesday from 11 to 2, are you? Fight club needs a coach.

Now, that's bat shit.

Told you to call me, Tom.

Baby, what's going on?

Oh, I made decorations for the pep rally.

The table was not like this the night my streak started.

My team is currently in the midst of a four -game winning streak.

So in order to keep the good mojo going, I'm doing everything the exact same

every night. Same underwear.

Courtney's making me the same steak dinner. Here is your nightly 32 -ounce

tomahawk steak.

Side of garlic mashed potatoes.

And 911 pre -dialed on my phone. Baby, where are the greens?

Oh.

Thank you much. I'm even watching the same episode of Jeopardy.

What do they two play?

Who is Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

That's correct.

Dang it, that's right.

You think maybe you're winning games because you're in a new division and

don't know your team and not because you're eating like you're in a contest?

Maybe. Let's not mock science, okay?

Meat sweats are starting early tonight.

Y 'all know I am Boone's biggest cheerleader, but I can't wait for this

to end.

Now, this pep rally is as much for our team as it is for the school.

Tomorrow, we are cheering against our rivals.

The East -South Oklahoma Western Owls.

Those aren't our rivals. My cousin goes there. Yeah, and they have a great

animal paranormal studies program. Okay, I don't care. Right now, they are the

enemy. Y 'all, at my old school, we put it in Harry Connick Jr.'s mouth.

Ew.

Allegedly. I'm done.

I'm not doing that.

You know what? I don't care how dead they are out there. When you hear that

music, you come out cheering.

Now go on backstage till it's time.

Hiddleston, show me that spirit.

I can't hear you.

All right, y 'all, listen up. Tomorrow, we're playing East South Oklahoma

Junior College, and we're going to bury them.

Yeah?

We're going to destroy them.

It's Doc!

Doc, Doc, Doc, Doc.

I have some terrible news.

I'm sad to report that a gigantic sinkhole has opened up under East South

Oklahoma Junior College.

They have been buried.

They have been destroyed.

They have been wiped off the map.

Y 'all ready for this?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Doc, no.

No, no, Doc, no.

Doc. No.

What is Iguazu Falls?

Who is Big Bird?

What the heck is a Big Bird?

Oh, honey.

I know it's not in the street routine, but we're going to have to crack a

window. Yeah? Baby, you outdid yourself with that 32 -ouncer. We destroyed

Matterday St. Bernard Colley. Well, you're lucky. Our game got canceled

a stupid sinkhole swallowed an entire city.

Our prayers go out to the good people who lost everything.

Night guard. Oh, baby, no.

I was thinking maybe we could celebrate my victory.

Boom. Okay, no offense, but you smell like a stew.

Did you shower?

Twice. Coming from inside.

Okay, well, now don't read into this. I am just drinking some water.

There's something I want to do, baby.

We have no team spirit. We have no rival.

We have nothing that bonds us, you know? Well, good thing you're coming to play

us at our homecoming game next week. That way your team can see what real

spirit looks like. I just can't believe I have to go back to Sammy Davis Sr. Jr.

and not even have my revenge body yet. Honey, you were born with a revenge

And speaking of revenge, that tomahawk's doing a number on my belly.

Well, Benny, you're not really making me feel better about my life.

Your life is great.

All right? You get to visit your old stomping grounds, and you get to see

husband win a football game just like the good old days.

What makes you think you're going to win?

Because I've never lost a homecoming game at Sammy Davis Senior Junior

Okay, but that's when I was cheering for you, and now I'm going to be cheering

against you.

Well, look at this.

Seems like something's got to give.

Uh -oh. This is the real deal.

Breathe through the mouth, baby. We're coming for you, Ben.

You have any idea what my cheerleaders are capable of?

Hello? You have an incoming call from Hedleston County Jail from Peaches.

Did I say no more fight club?

That wasn't fight club. That was me fighting at a club.

Are you in a gang?

No. It's just a loose association of like -minded youth who defend our turf

demand loyalty.

Okay, well, you have that already? It's called cheer.

Peaches! You have got to get on the good foot, honey. You are my star flower

now, and that means responsibility. Get your feet off the dash.

And that means no more fighting.

Yeah? You get arrested one more time, you're off the game.

Matter of fact, you know what?

Get on out. Find your own way home. Seriously?

Did I stutter? Go.

Fine.

I know that seems harsh, but as a coach, it is my job to teach her

responsibility and to keep her safe.

Peaches?

Peaches, get off that bus. Not with him.

Peaches!

Six, seven, dip. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, hit. One. All right.

Y 'all pop up on your own. Let's get up, y 'all. Barring another school getting

swallowed into the ground.

We made a donation.

Hashtag East South Oklahoma Strong.

We are going to be cheering today at Sammy Davis Senior Junior College's

homecoming. You're going to see a lot of team spirit there. Am I right,

DeMarcus? I can't wait to see my former teammates. You got JT, TJ, PJ, PJ Jr.,

White Eric, Black Eric. You know, cheer is fine.

But in football, you get to hang out with your boys. And that's exactly why I

even... What are you looking at?

Nothing.

What was the thing?

You were talking about your boys.

Right. Did I mention Asian Eric? That guy's crazy.

I'm back!

What are you doing here? I thought you were still in Love Island, Poland.

I thought it was more important to be here with my team.

Oh, babe.

Sweet.

And if anyone asks, Alexei Vishnevsky, the deceptive little bitch.

Oh. How are you feeling about going back to Sammy Davis Senior Junior? I feel

great. I'm not going.

My momager and dadager said it won't be good for my brand if I go back to the

team I left and I'm not beloved.

Plus, I started an Insta for my feet and it's taking up a lot of my time, which

you can follow at Crystal's Little Piggies.

Okay. Well, everybody who's not pimping their feet, come on with me.

Okay. Yikes.

Welcome to Sammy Davis Senior Junior College Homecoming. Stick around for the

halftime show, where we will be giving last year's cheerleading team their

national championship rings.

I give my ring.

See, this is what school spirit really feels like. We do have our fan base,

Honestly, that's not too shabby for an 80 -mile commute.

Go say hi.

Keep working.

Yo, you want some of this? Hold it, baby!

Oh.

Hi.

Uh, hi.

Bye. Bye.

Oh my God, you're blushing.

I'm not blushing. We made right at the Candy Button Factory and no one opened

the windows.

Please rise for our national anthem.

Button, let's go.

I wonder where Tammy is.

Bless her heart. She probably wanted me to have the spotlight.

Hi, y 'all. I am so sorry I can't be there in person, but I'm battling a

But it's probably for the best because I do not want to still focus from the

important events of the day.

So, in honor of homecoming and, of course, our country, I'm going to try to

muster the energy to sing the national anthem of America.

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's

early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?

the deep.

and peace, may you wait.

Yeah, yeah!

Just wanted to wish you good luck today, Coach.

You too, Coach.

I'm not going to need it. We're about to cheer so hard, you're not going to know

what hit you. All right, then.

Let's play some football.

All right. I'll smack you on the backside, but I'm only allowed to do

players, so... It's a good call, Coach.

Ooh, doggie.

All right, y 'all. I've got a little mini rivalry going on with my husband,

what do you say we cheer our team to victory? Yeah.

All right.

Five, six.

Seventy -eight. And Hedleston, zero at the half.

Can we lean?

No, we've got another half.

Yo, yo, yo, my boys.

What's going on?

Yo, why Eric? What gives, man?

I'm not allowed to talk to you. Why? It's part of our superstition.

You're the reason for our winning streak. We haven't lost a game since you

But you're my boys.

Sorry, bro. This conversation did not happen.

Do not tell Agent Eric. You know he's crazy.

Tell me what? Oh, nothing.

Nothing, baby. Let's go. Good game.

Yeah.

Coach. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's crush this team.

That is the spirit. Honey, cheer your heart out. Cheer doesn't win football

games. I know you didn't just say that to me. I know every play they're going

run, you let me call it out so our team can win. First of all, that's cheating.

Second of all, why don't you use this energy and focus on bonding with your

team? It sucks.

Well, sometimes life sucks.

That hasn't been my experience.

Crystal, I thought you weren't coming. My parents wanted me to get my

championship ring.

Aw. So I could sell it. Aw. Please join me in honoring last year's National

Championship Cheer Squad.

This is the spirit I'm trying to bring back to Heedletoon and my cheer team.

Although, if I'm being honest, being back here feels like my homecoming.

Starting with the coach.

Are they booing me? I'm pretty sure they're just saying boons if you saw me

up there.

And current coach of our conference rival, Courtney Potter.

Boons, why?

Boons, why?

Are you kidding me? We're going to wipe this school off the map.

But our hearts do weep for the sunken ones of East South Oklahoma. May they

wrath again.

Not just who you. Nobody talked about our coach except us after practice. And

that one time you wore khakis.

Allegedly. Not the time.

It's Hallie.

And that was a beige jean. Of course.

DeMarcus, do you really know every play that FHFU's gonna run? Hell yeah. I have

to know the plays so I can always end up with the ball.

All right.

No matter what happens, do not learn any lessons from me for the next 30

minutes. Okay, girl.

Run to safety, Blitz.

All right, y 'all.

Everybody shake your... Watch out for the safety blitz! Everybody shake

Watch out for the safety blitz! Everybody shake your... Watch out for

blitz! Everybody shake your... Watch out for the safety blitz! They know we're

coming. Audible. Audible. They know the play!

Do not get hurt or caught.

I thought you were about to hold the ball.

Yes. I bet that was going to be very good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Would you like to go out sometime?

Yes, please, yes.

No, yes, yes. Oh, sick.

Looks like someone has a date.

It's me. I have a date.

Saturday.

Get over here. Saturday.

cheer builds team spirit. It allows kids to express themselves in ways they

normally can't. But most importantly, it's about knowing somebody always has

your back.

Sammy Davis is disqualified for attacking the cheerleaders.

Hamilton wins.

No! No!

These can't be the spirit of this play.

They say you can never go home again.

And in this case, they're right. I have been banned from sending a senior junior

pendant appeal.

How was the kale?

I pretty much hated it. But guess what I hated more? The garbanzos. Is that a

real thing? I thought the corn had gone bad. No, that's a real bean.

No, what I hated was actually seeing you cheer for another team.

Made me a little bit jealous.

Did it now?

Yes, it did.

Also didn't love that you were calling out my place.

Okay, well, I am sorry about that.

But I just couldn't stand being booed at a place that was, you know, that was my

home.

Oh, my love.

If it makes you feel any better, SDSJC was never your home. Booing it does not.

What I'm saying is it doesn't matter what school you're at because your home

right here with me.

Oh, baby.

Come on.

Hold on.

Uh -oh, it's getting serious.

Boy, there's about 40 -odd pounds of steak in the garage freezer. Why don't

help yourself?

Yeah, yeah, but not too much. Leave some of it. Let's keep it to about eight

ounces a person.

Okay, you got it.

I'm sorry. No, it's just that your mascot kicked my ass out. Oh, you still

like the dumpster right now. Better take out.

Is that going to be a problem?

I'm going to play through.

God, I love you, girl.

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