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This program is possible for the eggs.
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Eggs.
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00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:19,640
Very good.
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00:00:44,991 --> 00:00:52,399
The Global Mail came out with their
monthly list of the most popular sketch
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00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:58,819
trips in Canada, and we are not on it.
So we are making an effort to increase
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00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:04,679
our popularity. I was just the other day
talking to some high school girls that
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had never heard of us. Went to dinner,
had some drinks, and they love us now.
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They're going to watch the show and...
What?
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00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:15,600
You want it for drinks?
10
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:21,310
Yeah. You gave underage girls alcoholic
drinks? Well, they were wearing makeup.
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00:01:21,470 --> 00:01:25,489
I don't know. They, like, they were cool
with it. Of course they were cool with
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00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:27,170
it. They were getting free alcohol.
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Could I be charged for that? I think
that's the restaurant would get charged.
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00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,329
No, I think you could be charged as
well.
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So we're doing a PR push.
16
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Everyone's got ideas.
17
00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:36,950
Mark Little's taking some initiative.
18
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He actually took an ad out in today's
paper, a full -page ad.
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It's right on the back here.
20
00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:44,610
Rent RoboCop.
21
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Rent RoboCop?
22
00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:48,710
How is that an ad for Picnic Faith?
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Yeah, I wasn't 100 % clear on what I was
allowed to promote or not promote.
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How much did that cost us?
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$30 ,000.
26
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$30 ,000?
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00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,090
Don't snitch.
28
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Snitch if I want to snitch.
29
00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:04,580
Oh.
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00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:06,840
It's okay.
31
00:02:06,841 --> 00:02:10,589
If there's one thing I learned from
Robocop, it's when to fight and when to
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stand by and let them have it. When did
we ever... Where'd you learn that in
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00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:17,359
Robocop? He shoots everyone. It's just a
full -out fight over there, and you
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guys are all standing. Guys, stop, stop,
stop, stop.
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Ah!
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Well,
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guys, I guess we don't have any money to
promote ourselves, so we're going to
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have to think of more creative
solutions.
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00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,879
I'm going to kidnap a celebrity.
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00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:36,060
That'll cause a media frenzy, and that's
a duly guarantee.
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00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,860
I'm going to date the most popular girl
at Halifax High School.
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How will that make us more popular,
Scott?
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00:02:44,050 --> 00:02:45,710
She's popular. I'll be popular.
44
00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:47,500
Do the math, man.
45
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:49,760
And she's hot.
46
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I'll keep being really popular.
47
00:02:52,290 --> 00:02:55,290
I got something in the works, but no
spoilers.
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00:02:55,730 --> 00:02:56,780
Two words.
49
00:02:57,550 --> 00:03:01,889
Promotional arson. I'm going to release
messenger doves. It'll raise awareness
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00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,540
of picnic face and be a beautiful
metaphor for peace.
51
00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:05,770
I'm going to hunt Brian.
52
00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:07,989
What? Live on the internet. Can I have a
head start?
53
00:03:07,990 --> 00:03:14,909
No. In the future, only one robotic
officer will be able to save Detroit
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00:03:14,910 --> 00:03:17,350
capitalism gone wrong in a move.
55
00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:24,329
My mom just, like, gone faint. The rabbi
saw what he was doing, like, knife in
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00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,429
hand. Everyone was, like, so
embarrassed.
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00:03:26,430 --> 00:03:27,480
It was crazy.
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00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:33,210
That is so your mom. Your mom has the
worst luck ever.
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00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:34,850
I know. She's ridiculous.
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00:03:34,851 --> 00:03:36,799
At least she got a good story out of it.
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That's true. Although, if you like that
story, you should hear Jake's story.
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00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:40,930
What?
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00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:44,670
You know the one where you're in New
Hampshire?
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That story? That story has nothing to do
with what you were just talking about.
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00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:50,300
Oh, come on, Jake. Tell it.
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00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,020
Please. Please.
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00:03:52,021 --> 00:03:55,859
Don't make him beg. I don't even know
what story Bridget's talking about. Yes,
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00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:56,910
you do. Yes, you do.
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00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:59,600
You're in New Hampshire, the dead of
winter.
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00:03:59,601 --> 00:04:03,019
He's looking for this convenience store,
right? But nothing's open.
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00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:04,120
And he meets this guy.
72
00:04:04,121 --> 00:04:07,269
And he asked the guy what his name is,
and the guy says, my name is Richard
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00:04:07,270 --> 00:04:09,550
Mann, but you can call me Dick.
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00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:15,369
And he says, that
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00:04:15,370 --> 00:04:18,350
means your name is Dick Mann.
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00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:23,940
What?
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00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:27,240
Yeah,
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00:04:27,241 --> 00:04:29,269
true story.
79
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,320
Dick Mann.
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00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:40,700
I've got to hear that story.
81
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:46,460
You just heard it.
82
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:49,970
Yeah, but Jake, you're a wonderful
raccoon tooler. It's true.
83
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,560
Really no point in me telling it again.
84
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,370
Come on, Jake, tell the story. Don't be
modest. Just tell the story. Yeah.
85
00:04:56,371 --> 00:04:59,839
Just tell it one time. Don't hold it.
Just tell it. I need to hear it. It's so
86
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:00,890
good. Come on, please.
87
00:05:00,891 --> 00:05:02,319
All right.
88
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,680
Okay. Just this once.
89
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,260
So, uh...
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00:05:08,730 --> 00:05:12,270
I was in New Hampshire, and I was
looking for a convenience store.
91
00:05:12,610 --> 00:05:16,130
Met this guy named Richard Mann. He
said, call me Dick. And I said,
92
00:05:16,270 --> 00:05:22,090
that means your name is Dick Mann.
93
00:06:03,799 --> 00:06:04,849
Seriously?
94
00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:10,220
You just heard it two times.
95
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,070
Tell it again.
96
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:28,840
I... I totally forgot. I've got an early
morning and it is... It is late. So,
97
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,380
uh... Thank you for dinner.
98
00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:05,730
From the beginning.
99
00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:07,830
Stories.
100
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:10,160
I have other stories.
101
00:07:10,620 --> 00:07:12,760
Stories. Tell the story.
102
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,580
Get me out of here.
103
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,540
Everybody down on the ground.
104
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:19,940
Everybody hit the deck.
105
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,150
Hit the deck.
106
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,290
Down on the ground.
107
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:24,300
Tell the fucking story.
108
00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:27,180
Nice and slow, asshole. Don't ship
anything.
109
00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:30,180
Go on, from the top.
110
00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:51,200
But... I can play.
111
00:07:51,940 --> 00:07:53,020
Yes,
112
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,020
you can play.
113
00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:51,090
Time machine twins, time machine twins,
traveling through time.
114
00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:56,970
Fighting dinosaurs in the past and in
the future, fighting future dinosaurs.
115
00:09:57,110 --> 00:10:01,190
Time machine twins, time machine twins,
traveling through time.
116
00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:03,070
Wow, Andy.
117
00:10:03,530 --> 00:10:04,580
What a great day.
118
00:10:04,581 --> 00:10:06,609
Oh, no, Mark! Look out for that bullet!
119
00:10:06,610 --> 00:10:07,660
Oh, no!
120
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,740
Mark!
121
00:10:09,270 --> 00:10:11,010
I didn't even get to say goodbye.
122
00:10:11,630 --> 00:10:12,910
Wait a second.
123
00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:14,950
Time Machine Twins!
124
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:21,230
Time Machine Twins! Time Machine Twins!
Traveling through time!
125
00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:24,970
Wow, Andy. What a great day.
126
00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:26,340
Bye! What?
127
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,550
Standing next to guys at urinals is very
awkward.
128
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,200
It's just a strange dynamic.
129
00:10:39,201 --> 00:10:43,079
Because if you took the urine and the
urinals away, it would just be two guys
130
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,210
standing there fully clothed with their
penises hanging out.
131
00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:48,020
That would be even more awkward.
132
00:10:48,021 --> 00:10:52,099
And then if you took the bathroom away
and put the guys down in the middle of a
133
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:55,659
meadow at dusk, then it would just be
two guys standing there in the middle of
134
00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:59,390
meadow fully clothed with their penises
hanging out watching the sunset.
135
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,260
That would be nicer, I think.
136
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:05,730
Ooh.
137
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,540
Hey, man, check out that girl.
138
00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:05,950
She's hot.
139
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,130
Yeah.
140
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:08,750
Go talk to her.
141
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:10,770
That girl?
142
00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:11,990
No.
143
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,150
No, no, no, no, no.
144
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,680
Man, what's the worst that could happen?
145
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:25,660
Hey, I'm John.
146
00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:47,910
I'm John.
147
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:49,530
Hi, I'm Bridget.
148
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:58,910
Fucking boring.
149
00:13:02,441 --> 00:13:04,839
Where's your palm horse?
150
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:08,619
Excuse me? Where's your horse? Where's
the horse that comes out of your palm?
151
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,360
Come talk to me when you make horses.
152
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,600
See? Anything you like there, kiddo? Oh,
I want that one. Which one?
153
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:19,970
That one, that one.
154
00:13:19,971 --> 00:13:22,139
Well, you don't want that one there,
pal.
155
00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:23,940
It right there is a red herring.
156
00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:27,960
Hey, what can I say?
157
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,450
Times are tied.
158
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:31,900
You got anything else?
159
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,280
You like kittens?
160
00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:39,040
Yeah, ones like that I don't. What about
fish?
161
00:13:43,210 --> 00:13:44,260
Oh, the fish is dead.
162
00:13:44,261 --> 00:13:45,889
I think I've seen better than this.
163
00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:46,940
What about crows?
164
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:48,570
Do you like crows?
165
00:13:49,230 --> 00:13:50,280
Crows?
166
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:52,780
Crows?
167
00:13:53,010 --> 00:13:54,060
Crows?
168
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,560
I will get that tumor checked.
169
00:15:25,610 --> 00:15:26,660
than what you told me.
170
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,270
I find the defendant.
171
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:56,200
Results!
172
00:18:04,490 --> 00:18:08,410
Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K.
173
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,670
Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D .K. Go D
.K.
174
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:57,990
Clever girl.
175
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:05,659
Hey, everyone. The Globe and Mail came
out with their latest list of Canada's
176
00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:08,680
most popular sketch troops, and we're
still not on it.
177
00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:10,310
Scott.
178
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:12,260
What is she doing here?
179
00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,440
She has a name, Andy.
180
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,420
Well, what's her name?
181
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:20,539
We haven't gotten a single call about my
celebrity.
182
00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:23,839
Yep, he's not a celebrity. Nobody knows
who he is. Okay, sure he is. He was in
183
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,480
lots of things. The shipping news.
184
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,620
K -19, the Widowmaker, the Trailer Park
Boys. Yeah, it's an extra.
185
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,280
He's eating all our cereal.
186
00:19:31,281 --> 00:19:32,959
You're right, it's ready.
187
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,550
I think my thing went pretty well. It
was in the paper.
188
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:38,320
Manhunt continues for deadly arsonist.
189
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,360
That Manhunt was a bit presumptuous.
190
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:41,720
Ten seniors killed.
191
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,460
Scott, she can't be here.
192
00:19:43,780 --> 00:19:48,659
Why? Because we're all adults and it is
1 .30 on a Tuesday, so she should be at
193
00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:50,580
school. We're taking a long lunch.
194
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:52,710
It's cool, man.
195
00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:54,460
How'd your thing go, Cheryl?
196
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:02,310
That didn't work.
197
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,130
Didn't work.
198
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,610
I've got your girlfriend stealing liquor
from our cabinet.
199
00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:10,120
She is loaded, man!
200
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,000
She passed out, she is drunk!
201
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,920
She's on the floor, man!
202
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,180
I drew a penis on her face, guys.
203
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,020
Oh my... So I guess we all failed.
204
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:21,800
Oh, did we?
205
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,040
Great news, everyone.
206
00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:54,919
Picnic Face is now the most popular
sketch troupe in Mexico.
207
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:58,019
Our show got bought by the Huevo
Network, and all they had to do was
208
00:21:58,020 --> 00:21:59,340
opening and add subtitles.
209
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:00,770
Subtitles?
210
00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:03,030
What, that kind of, like, ruin the
comedy?
211
00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:04,389
Meh!
212
00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:08,940
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