Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,369
Hey, guys.
2
00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:34,420
Cheryl here.
3
00:00:34,590 --> 00:00:41,470
We recently found out that Scott Roman
used to be the host of a kids'
4
00:00:41,510 --> 00:00:44,510
TV show called Boofy Rice Cakes.
5
00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:47,010
Good titling. Job.
6
00:00:47,930 --> 00:00:49,450
Boofy Rice Cakes.
7
00:00:49,690 --> 00:00:50,740
Oh, man.
8
00:00:50,930 --> 00:00:56,289
I thought maybe the guys at home should
get to see it. But, yeah, I haven't seen
9
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:59,030
a clip in, like, ten years. Sure. Cool.
That'd be fun.
10
00:00:59,550 --> 00:01:02,850
Hey, Boofy. I'm having a pretty hard
time with my math homework.
11
00:01:03,270 --> 00:01:04,790
Anything you can do to help me?
12
00:01:05,030 --> 00:01:06,210
Sure thing, Scott.
13
00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:07,810
How about a soup?
14
00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:10,870
Holy fuck! What the fuck, man?
15
00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:14,330
Puppet's fucking ruined!
16
00:01:17,930 --> 00:01:24,310
Where did you get that?
17
00:01:25,050 --> 00:01:27,530
It's got like a million hits on YouTube.
18
00:01:30,461 --> 00:01:32,839
That was never broadcast.
19
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:33,839
Oh, man.
20
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,360
There's so many remixes.
21
00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:37,840
There's remixes? Oh, so many.
22
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,380
We would disagree with you hot million.
23
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,960
What was that a hamster? That wasn't.
That was the best part.
24
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,370
That hamster.
25
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,100
Feel bad for him.
26
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,020
Why won't these pills work?
27
00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:49,360
Just go to sleep, John.
28
00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:51,320
Wee Willie Winky.
29
00:02:52,980 --> 00:02:55,340
Fly down my chimney.
30
00:02:55,580 --> 00:03:01,000
And put me to sleep.
31
00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:06,020
Wee Willie Winky. And my menstrual.
32
00:03:07,741 --> 00:03:14,329
Nighttime is for sleeping, you know. I
just can't seem to drift off.
33
00:03:14,330 --> 00:03:17,610
But in sleep, you can be a baseball
player.
34
00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:21,070
Or somebody's elbow.
35
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,770
Or kidnap a man.
36
00:03:25,310 --> 00:03:26,360
What?
37
00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:27,860
Kidnap a man.
38
00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:32,350
With my moon dust, I put you to sleep.
39
00:03:38,830 --> 00:03:40,090
What was that back there?
40
00:03:40,091 --> 00:03:40,879
What was what?
41
00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:41,799
The kidnap thing?
42
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:42,519
I don't know.
43
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:43,570
It's kind of creepy.
44
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,920
Yeah. You know we're working, right?
45
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:46,899
Yeah, yeah.
46
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:47,919
Let's go.
47
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,639
Yeah, I'll be there in a sec. I'm just
going to tuck this guy in.
48
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,219
You know, it's weird how you do that.
49
00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:53,270
Yeah, yeah.
50
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:02,620
One day I'll have a man of my own.
51
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,090
What are you doing?
52
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,800
Okay, that's good. Let's go now, please.
53
00:04:07,801 --> 00:04:10,319
Yeah, I'll be there in a second. No, you
won't. You'll come with me. No, I'll
54
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:10,859
meet you there.
55
00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:13,179
No, you won't. If I go first, I'm going
to get there first. Let's go now.
56
00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:14,340
Fine, I'll go. Go on now.
57
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:17,439
Yeah, please. I would like that. Let's
go. I'm waiting for you now. Oh, you're
58
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,039
waiting for me now? Yeah, like now now.
59
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,090
Let's go like now now.
60
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,650
Bear dance.
61
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:45,800
Bear, bear dance.
62
00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:51,540
Bear dance. Bear, bear dance. It's a
bear dance. Bear, bear dance.
63
00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:56,079
Just like a square dance, but more like
a bear dance. Get down for the bear
64
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,140
dance. Everybody!
65
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:26,550
Hey, everyone. I know we all had a good
laugh earlier at me and boofy rice cake.
66
00:08:26,770 --> 00:08:31,309
And I don't want to be a party pooper,
but those kind of laughs come at an
67
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:33,830
expense. And that expense is my
feelings.
68
00:08:34,350 --> 00:08:38,929
I know it's a miracle that I am on
television.
69
00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:40,490
Party pooper. Rice cakes.
70
00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:42,190
Party pooper. Rice cakes.
71
00:08:42,429 --> 00:08:49,229
I do rice cakes. I do rice cakes. I do
rice cakes. I
72
00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:50,280
do. Miracle.
73
00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:51,970
I know. Miracles.
74
00:08:52,210 --> 00:08:53,430
I know. Everyone.
75
00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,050
Everyone. Everyone.
76
00:08:55,570 --> 00:08:57,410
How did that get remade?
77
00:08:58,690 --> 00:09:00,190
I don't understand.
78
00:09:04,261 --> 00:09:05,989
Please
79
00:09:05,990 --> 00:09:15,109
don't
80
00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:16,160
put that online.
81
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:24,379
I want to be booed. I want to be booed,
booed, booed, booed, booed, booed,
82
00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:25,430
booed, booed.
83
00:09:28,971 --> 00:09:36,279
I'm going to go to the bathroom and hop
right back, and I'd love to hear another
84
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:37,330
joke. Absolutely.
85
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,500
Tons. 27 of them.
86
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,940
We will be winky.
87
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,600
Hey. Hey.
88
00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:50,990
We Willy Winky, Harpist.
89
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:52,089
How's it going?
90
00:09:52,090 --> 00:09:53,550
Good, just on a date.
91
00:09:53,950 --> 00:09:55,270
Nighttime is for sleeping.
92
00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:58,270
Guys, this isn't my bedtime anymore. I'm
32.
93
00:09:59,790 --> 00:10:00,840
It's late.
94
00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:04,470
I haven't been on a date in a year. But
I can see the moon.
95
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,270
Listen, man, I need this.
96
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:16,370
What was that?
97
00:10:16,371 --> 00:10:18,049
You don't have any moon dust?
98
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:18,959
I saw...
99
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,220
You blew salt in her eyes?
100
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,450
Yeah, yeah.
101
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,270
I got a lot of thinking to do about you,
man.
102
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:28,820
One day I'll have a man of my own. Can
we just leave?
103
00:10:28,821 --> 00:10:31,839
Yeah, let's go. I'm just going to take
this salt. What are you going to use
104
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,199
salt for? I'm going to go salt this
waitress. No, you're not. She gave me
105
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,459
She gave you lips so you're going to
blow salt in her eyes?
106
00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:38,660
Yeah. I'll check them out.
107
00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:47,420
Susan, Susan, Susan is the lady's toy.
108
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:48,770
I'm adorable.
109
00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:56,150
It's not easy being a man. The weight of
the world dangling between your legs.
110
00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:58,090
The responsibility is staggering.
111
00:10:58,410 --> 00:10:59,530
Busy naked fighting.
112
00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:01,230
Busy naked dancing.
113
00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:03,850
Busy talking to lady catbirds.
114
00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:08,010
Men barely have time to balance a candy
dish on their dink anymore.
115
00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:10,570
Luckily, we're not alone.
116
00:11:10,930 --> 00:11:14,770
We've got ladies to help us. They help
wash the ghost dishes.
117
00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:17,770
They help negotiate with a naked
butcher.
118
00:11:18,130 --> 00:11:20,510
They even help pull off our wigs.
119
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,780
So be kind to our lady's men.
120
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:27,440
Don't hold her back. If she wants to
fight someone, let her at them.
121
00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:33,479
And also, make sure she has plenty of
time in the changetoria to touch bums
122
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:39,439
friends. A happy lady will come rushing
back with salad tongs, ready for a
123
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:40,800
loving sleeper hold.
124
00:11:58,830 --> 00:11:59,880
Is everybody here?
125
00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:01,010
Josh Young, Speaker?
126
00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:02,950
Yeah. How's the weather in Chicago?
127
00:12:02,951 --> 00:12:04,109
Oh, it's great.
128
00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,160
Okay. If you like rain.
129
00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:14,149
Alan Mitchell
130
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,370
was a co -worker and a senior network
administrator.
131
00:12:17,371 --> 00:12:21,929
I thought the best way to describe what
Alan meant to us would be to use his own
132
00:12:21,930 --> 00:12:22,980
words.
133
00:12:23,230 --> 00:12:25,730
So I converted his cover letter.
134
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,930
for his resume into the past tense and
the third person.
135
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:34,039
Alan had excellent communication and
interpersonal skills. He proactively
136
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,899
to leverage his experience in network
administration within the field of
137
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:38,950
at the branch level.
138
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,480
He was proficient with Microsoft Excel.
139
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:47,959
And as we see from this graph, Alan gave
us some pleasure when he started with
140
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:53,079
us back in 94. This increased the much
pleasure over time as we kind of got to
141
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,130
know him better.
142
00:12:54,240 --> 00:13:00,559
But as we see here in the current year,
he drops off quite sharply upon his
143
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,610
death.
144
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,340
Alan enjoyed acronyms as much as the
rest of us.
145
00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:10,320
So I made an acronym out of his name
that I thought was appropriate.
146
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:12,590
Average.
147
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:13,890
Lazy.
148
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,250
Arrogant.
149
00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:17,190
Nope.
150
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:23,240
Alan was one of three Alans in our
office.
151
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,300
He was known as Alan number three.
152
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:30,640
And I asked him one day, Alan, you were
the first Alan to start working here.
153
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,240
Why aren't you Alan number one?
154
00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:36,360
And he just said, number three is fine.
155
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,170
It's fine.
156
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,120
All right. I think that's it.
157
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:44,770
Josh.
158
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,270
I'm Mitch Lafayette of Lafayette's
Waterbeds and Office Supplies.
159
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:11,540
Ladies, are you recently divorced or
single?
160
00:14:11,740 --> 00:14:15,500
What you may need is a waterbed or some
office supplies.
161
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:21,340
Whoa. A little too close. A little too
close. Back up. Back up. Don't back up,
162
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,410
please. Back up.
163
00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:20,710
What a game.
164
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,170
All right, boys.
165
00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:25,070
$500.
166
00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:27,030
A ball.
167
00:15:50,829 --> 00:15:52,370
But I like their style.
168
00:15:54,450 --> 00:16:01,409
Are you
169
00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:04,330
tired of having to water all your plants
by hand?
170
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:08,189
Yes. Don't you wish there was a product
that could water all your plants for you
171
00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:10,270
with the single press of a button? Yes.
172
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:13,490
A product so small it could fit in your
pocket?
173
00:16:13,730 --> 00:16:15,470
That sounds very nice.
174
00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:17,410
What's the product?
175
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,760
All for just $29 .99?
176
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,530
What is it?
177
00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:29,460
Hello? Are you still there?
178
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,520
Oh, no. Was this all in my mind?
179
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,500
Are you tired of hearing ad voices in
your head?
180
00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:41,160
Yes. Are you tired of not knowing
whether you're in an infomercial? Yes, I
181
00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:42,920
Are you tired? Yes.
182
00:16:42,921 --> 00:16:44,119
Are you tired?
183
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,470
Yes. Are you tired? Who's there? Are you
tired?
184
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,750
Hello? Are you tired? Are you tired?
Who's there? Are you tired?
185
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,020
Oh, miss me? Are you tired? No. Are you
tired? No.
186
00:16:53,021 --> 00:16:58,259
I'm just messing with you. I'm your new
neighbor. My name's Carl, but you can
187
00:16:58,260 --> 00:17:00,430
call me God or Jesus, Satan and
everything.
188
00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:02,020
Not in your mind, and I'm you now.
189
00:17:28,329 --> 00:17:29,379
all right
190
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:10,359
You got me charmed, baby boy, you're
like a pagan mystic. You got me hot
191
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,660
the collar like a dragon's kisses.
192
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:18,439
Wanna take you for a ride on a moonlit
night on two intangible steeds. Yeah,
193
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:23,280
we'll ride pegasuses. I wanna take you
home and chain you to my radiator.
194
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:29,140
Wanna put some eggs inside you like an
incubator. Which I know sounds strange,
195
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:34,520
even a bit deranged. But I've got a
serious egg fetish, I'll explain that
196
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,060
I like eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs,
eggs.
197
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:44,959
I like eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs,
eggs. I like eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs,
198
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:51,780
eggs. I like eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs,
eggs, eggs. I like eggs, eggs, eggs,
199
00:18:51,781 --> 00:18:52,919
eggs, eggs.
200
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:56,400
I like eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs,
eggs.
201
00:18:56,620 --> 00:19:02,259
I like eggs, eggs. In French, they're
called oeufs. I like eggs, eggs, eggs,
202
00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:03,620
I love you, boy.
203
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:52,390
Oh, no.
204
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,740
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
205
00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:03,110
Hey! Oh, jeez!
206
00:20:03,591 --> 00:20:05,639
It's the harpist.
207
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,200
Hey. Where's Wee Willow Winky?
208
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:08,470
I don't know.
209
00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:10,270
Look, listen.
210
00:20:10,271 --> 00:20:13,639
My wife's in the hospital, and she's
having a baby, so I'm trying to get
211
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,930
That's why I'm up here. My time is for
sleeping.
212
00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:19,739
I know it's for sleeping. It's just that
I really need to get to the hospital. I
213
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:20,790
can see the moon.
214
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,740
Harpist, please. I am driving on a
highway right now. Very fast.
215
00:20:24,940 --> 00:20:26,560
Oh, my God. It's fingernails. Okay.
216
00:20:26,561 --> 00:20:30,399
Harpist, please. I really, really can't
go to sleep right now. So can you
217
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,600
please? I'm going to put you out. No.
No. Do not put me out. Please. Do not.
218
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,170
What's this?
219
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:49,420
Car crash. Car crash? Did you do this?
220
00:20:49,421 --> 00:20:50,899
He was up late.
221
00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:53,610
I know he was up late, but that doesn't
mean... Yeah, yeah.
222
00:20:53,611 --> 00:20:56,919
This is not a yeah, yeah sort of thing.
Yeah, I get it. Do you get it? I don't
223
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,739
know. I'm just going to go tuck this guy
in.
224
00:20:58,740 --> 00:20:59,790
No. What?
225
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,020
He doesn't need to be tucked in.
226
00:21:02,021 --> 00:21:05,159
Why do you do that anyway? So you can
have a man of your own?
227
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,210
I don't know.
228
00:21:06,211 --> 00:21:10,419
I cannot believe I've put up with this
for a thousand years.
229
00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:12,559
I can't believe I've put up with you for
a thousand years. Okay, you know what?
230
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,690
We're done. Find your own way back to
Dreamland. How about that?
231
00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:18,800
I'm about to dream. I'm going to crash
at my friend Trevor's.
232
00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:23,490
You are not going to crash at your
friend Trevor's. I'm crashing at
233
00:21:23,510 --> 00:21:25,630
No, you're not. You will not. He is a
bad guy.
234
00:21:25,631 --> 00:21:26,609
Trevor's fine.
235
00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:27,890
Trevor is a pervert.
236
00:21:28,290 --> 00:21:29,340
Accused. Convicted.
237
00:21:29,341 --> 00:21:31,609
Yeah, but they haven't sentenced him
yet. They haven't sentenced him. They're
238
00:21:31,610 --> 00:21:34,389
just deciding how much time to give him.
Well, so until that day, he's a free
239
00:21:34,390 --> 00:21:37,389
man. He's a free man living in a halfway
house, Harpist. Me and Trevor are going
240
00:21:37,390 --> 00:21:39,560
to put a lot of people to sleep this
weekend.
241
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:49,000
If I let you go get that body, will you
come with me back to Dreamland? Okay,
242
00:21:49,060 --> 00:21:52,670
thank you. Thank you very much. You're
welcome. Thank you. Be quick, please.
243
00:21:52,671 --> 00:21:53,829
Please, quick.
244
00:21:53,830 --> 00:21:58,380
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
18790
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof