Original subtitles

It's times like these with you in me. I know you've made a memory for

eternity.

You know it is the truth.

Making time for each other, sister and brother.

Friends that always love each other. Year after year and they're still here.

la la la.

How is she?

Still in surgery.

Poor Ebony. You remember when we first met her?

You guys started the troupe, but I never actually got the story on how you met.

What?

We met a long time ago.

Okay, you get that one. I'll move her here.

You see her steal these babies? Yeah. You? Yeah. Weird.

Mark.

I guess it wasn't that long ago. Yeah, it was just a couple years

ago.

Picnic Face will be right back after this sentence.

He's 20 minutes late.

Do you know how lucky we are to even get this meeting?

I heard this guy came up with the concepts for the last five movies to win

Picture.

That's a movie.

That's a movie?

That's a movie?

That's a movie. That's a movie.

That's a movie.

That's a movie.

That's a movie.

That's a movie.

Who's that for?

You've been bit by the riddle snake.

Riddle, riddle, riddle. Riddle snake is here and riddle snake's a miracle.

Riddle snake's a man with a tail.

In order to pass, you must first answer this one riddle.

Let's say you had a tail.

How would you go about getting that removed?

A doctor.

A doctor?

Yeah. OK.

Riddle snake is satisfied.

Riddle snake will let you pass. Riddle snake will go to the doctor.

the man with the tail.

Good, good.

The riddle snake thanks you.

Yeah, okay.

Get this off and out of the woods.

Get an apartment.

You're gonna lose my tail and stop being a weirdo.

All right.

All right. All right. All right.

Welcome to this week's episode of

Thespian Hour. The program where we look at the...

hottest and hippest stars of the stage and screen alike.

What is that?

Cheese.

Deb, you know we have... Is that cheese?

Yes, but I brought my own.

Okay. It just seems to me if you're going to, you know, ask us that... Try

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Up next, we have a very special guest. He is the star, writer, and director of

an upcoming independent film entitled Knock, Eternal Rhythm. Hot title.

Mr. Pierre Portieres.

Pierre, welcome.

So nice to have you. Hello.

Cheers.

So, Pierre, tell us, what is your film about, really?

Well, my film is a meditation on the inherent.

Well, unfortunately, that's all the time we have for this week's episode of

Thespian Hour, but... No, I'm okay. Really, truly. Okay.

Okay. Oh.

Okay.

Welcome back.

Let's get some coffee.

We met you and Cheryl at that stand -up show.

But where did you two meet?

Actually, Bill and I have known each other since we were babies.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You were those babies?

Yeah. That happened two years ago. That means you're two.

Yep. Then how did you meet your wife?

Funny story.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Your wife? She was the other baby?

Yeah. That makes no sense.

You're all so tall.

Am I tall, Brian?

Or am I just a two -year -old resting on the shoulders of an old asthmatic man?

You see that old man?

High five him.

boys gather around huddle up hands in hard work on three chuck hand in the

circle bud it's your ass over

here and get that hand in the circle chuck chuck i'm gonna count to three and

your hand's not in the goddamn circle you're off the team

You goddamn freak.

Follow me.

Who are you and why are you doing this to me?

I'll show you.

Chuck, we're going to be best friends forever.

Right on, Kevin.

Recognize me?

I'm Kevin.

Kevin and I were the same age.

I was always a little bit older than you. Yeah, but not like 50 years older.

I am not like 50 years older than you. Yeah, you're like 50 years older. What

are you talking about? What are you, like 45?

I'm 28 years old. You're 28, my foot. Yeah, we're all 28.

Show me your birth certificate. I don't have my birth certificate on me. Okay,

neither do I. I'm 12.

You're not 12.

I'm 12. I don't have my certificate.

There's no proof.

You're clearly 80 years old. 80 years old? Yeah, you're like 80, man.

I'm married to you.

I'm going.

I'm out of here. Okay? Excuse me. I don't even know why I followed you.

I'm an idiot.

Please don't look.

Don't go.

James.

I killed Kevin.

Welcome back.

Who's that handsome fellow eating a boiled egg?

Hmm, I guess it's me.

Hey, what's up?

What's your major?

Yeah, this one. This is the best one to eat.

I don't know what that means.

Hey there, little boy.

You want to solve a trivia question?

Oh, yes. How much hay do you think a horse eats a day?

A horse eats between 12 and 15 pounds of hay a day.

Have you ever tried hay, little boy?

It's pretty good. Better than some things.

I once ate shit on a dare.

That was college.

That's the college experience, you know?

Eat some shit.

Yeah, I ate a lot of shit in college. Next to lasagna, that's probably the

I ate the most.

Just bowls of shit.

Why didn't I say no to any of those dares?

You know, looking back, I'd say no if someone dared me today. I'd say no.

I'd definitely say no. Maybe I wouldn't.

No, Brian.

You and Scott were the last two to join before Evernote.

How'd you guys meet?

I was renting a cottage in the country.

And that's how we met.

Sounds like a mess.

Well,

it will be a very simple procedure. I'll just snip it off at the base of your

spine.

Will it hurt?

Oh, hardly at all. We'll just use local anesthetic.

That's pretty good.

You're a very good dancer.

I'm not bad.

I'm not cutting it off. I can't. It would be a crime against art. It's

It's a gift.

Please.

Dance.

Don't stop.

Welcome back.

You must be Ebony's friends.

She and the baby are healthy. We tried to perform a C -section, but there were

complications, so we had to perform an emergency D -section.

What is that?

That's when they cut into her lower back and pull the baby out from above her

butt. Your friend is exactly right. That's where we cut into her lower back

pull the baby out from above her butt.

Would you like to see her?

Hey, son.

Hey, dad.

This is the wrong part.

This is the wrong part. We're in B Ward. She's in the L Ward. Okay, we're in B

Ward. All right.

Yeah, no, this is the third floor. We've got to go to the fifth floor.

No, this is the fifth floor. This is the fifth floor.

This is the fifth floor. I'm still down on the third floor.

Mark, how can I hear you?

No, ask her.

Let's just go in this door. There's a swamp here.

What is a swamp doing in a hospital?

It's okay, but the surgery ruined my lower back tattoo

Look

at that nice weight to it. Oh look at that there and

Just take a peek under the hood here

Oh, yeah, that's a good baby. Yeah, good bone structure there. We can talk to

Remy for you, maybe get you two, two and a half for that baby.

Uh, cha -ching!

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