Original subtitles

The Crown will now hear closing statements from the defense.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, before you retire to determine my guilt,

I just want to ask you one question.

Do I look like a rapist?

I rest my case.

Hey, guys. Mark here. We're gearing up to play some charades. We're going to do

it right. We're going to do it now.

Hooray! Oh, they're ready.

This is traditional charades. I'm talking timed rounds. Shut your mouth.

out.

Count the syllables.

Keep the pace, but keep your head.

Uh, chest.

Uh, me.

Let's get it on!

Uh, Brian. Uh, you're out.

Uh, truth.

Brian, you're out of this room!

Ah, yes!

Where are you, Cal?

Where are you?

Winner! Yeah!

Charades. The producer said that we should have a minority in the group, and

we're replacing you. Who's my replacement?

Gord. The boom mic guy?

Brian Gord's native.

I'm Mi 'kmaq. Ah, congratulations.

Good for you.

Frank. You're the whitest member of the truth.

That's not true. Scott is whiter than I am.

Actually, Scott is crazy tan from the way it does. Yeah, check it out.

Oh, nice.

Built, muchacho.

Yeah, yeah.

That's how you replace a group member. That's how you ruin someone's day.

That's how you give someone an opportunity that they don't think is an

opportunity until they've gained a bit of perspective.

Good luck, Brian.

That's right!

Meet the new picnic face.

Andy, Kyle, Ebony, Mark, Cheryl, Bill, Scott.

And introducing... Gord.

I'm of the Mi 'kmaq Nation.

My name is Gord.

Well, here's my honor, too.

Now, get out of here. But, sir, you can't just go out there. Get out of

Ed, caught it.

Being a celebrity is great.

Money, fame, sex.

Who do I tell you to get out of your little heart here?

Recognize me now?

This is what I looked like before I found celebrity varnish.

But now... Hello, Hollywood, California.

Just like that, I'm a celebrity.

Water. Simply apply a thick coat of our uniquely formulated varnish to your head

three times daily.

And hello, Hollywood, California.

You're now a celebrity.

This woman had three auditions in her first week using celebrity varnish.

Look at this guy.

Wow.

Just look at him.

Hmm.

You'll go from this to this.

Seems like this one will happen all the time with celebrity varnish.

Look at them.

Wow. Just look at them all.

Which speech defect afflicted Canada's third governor general, Lord Dufferin?

Jason? I don't know, man.

Tell me something for real. Is that fern behind me moving?

Jason, there's no one in the fern. You'd tell me if there was a fucking dude in

that fern, wouldn't you? There's no one in the fern, Jason.

We're just trying to have a nice game, aren't we, Margaret?

Could somebody pass me my wallet?

Margaret, it's right there. I'm going to put a gun in that fern and start

firing. My wallet.

Trivia -based board games.

Each year, thousands of families enjoy playing them. But have you ever wondered

how trivia -based board games are made?

Where do they come from, and how are they made?

Time to take another trip to find out. Ready, Travel Crow?

Here we are at the local mall, home of the food court, the Everything for on

Fire store, and the game store.

We asked an employee where this game store gets its trivia -based board

Hey, my name's Josh. That's right, from New York City.

Here in New York is the company that manufactures all of your favorite trivia

-based board games, including Brainsies, 4Chin, 40 -something man and his horse

friend's trivia.

And Kornga trivia.

All these games are made in this one building. It's a good working

wouldn't you say so, Stanley?

Man, you gotta help me, I'm being held hostage. But how do they come up with

questions that go on the trivia cards?

To find out, let's travel all the way to the English countryside.

Here, we see an aristocrat busy collecting trivia.

He'll find the facts and relay them to his manservant, who makes notes in his

tomes. Right now, the collector is noticing that meadows are mostly green.

This will become a question on one of your trivia cards.

These aristocrats can be found in all corners of the world, from fields to

record stores to outer space.

All of this so that you can play a nice trivia -based board game at home with

your family.

Well, that was an interesting lesson, wasn't it, Jason? Oh, my God, there he

He's right in the front. He's watching us.

i had a really good time tonight me too

hexagon is back we need you you're where the last transformers left he doesn't

look like a transformer that's because he's an internal transformer all his

organs are calm

Previously on Picnic Face.

I

hope

you enjoy the next sketch.

I wrote it.

Wow, I can't believe she actually agreed to go out with me.

She's so beautiful.

Wow, I can't believe he actually asked me out.

He's such a babe.

Hi, my name is Mike, and I'll be your waiter this evening.

Would you like to try some of our house wine?

Sure, that'd be great.

Yes, please.

What a nice couple.

They remind me of my grandmothers, who were part of the Mi 'kmaq nation.

At the time of first contact with European explorers in the 16th and 17th

centuries, the Mi 'kmaq lived in the region now known as the Maritime

and the Gat Bay Peninsula.

Later, they also settled in New England and Newfoundland.

The Mi 'kmaq call themselves Ilmi, meaning the people.

The term Mi 'kmaq comes from the word Nikmak, meaning my kin friends.

The Mi 'kmaq language is rich and descriptive.

Their name for the month of May is

Excuse me, but you're Mi 'kmaq, aren't you?

I was just going to ask that.

You read my mind.

Seems you were both reading mine.

How could they kick me out of the group?

Me? Brian?

What do I do now?

What am I if not a sketch comedian?

I'm not going to cry.

I'm going to stay strong.

Don't you cry.

Why me?

Why does this hurt so much?

All righty.

So what is the plan tonight?

Eric's coming over. Great. What movie are we watching?

Actually, we were just going to... Pizza's here.

Eric. Hey.

Hey. It's so good to see you. Good to see you.

Did you bring the movie? Oh, what, this movie?

Yes, this movie.

Eric.

Do you mind if we... Let's do it. Ready?

Okay. Well, you know how they say that two accompany us, but three... More

company.

No. We're just going to go upstairs and watch this movie.

Don't leave me alone. You're being weird. Don't leave me alone.

I've got you alone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on, sweetheart. Let's go to salsa dancing at Gomer's. I don't want to go

salsa dancing at Gomer's. Oh, we're going to have so much fun at Gomer's.

awesome. It's fun time tonight.

You know what they say.

It takes two to tango, though.

Gomer's is a salsa club. The same rules apply for all dancing.

Don't leave me alone.

Please don't go.

No, don't go.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

previously on Picnic Face.

Hey guys, we were just talking about what to do with Gord because he's not

really funny and it's not a native thing. It's just he's really boring.

I don't know. I kind of like Gord.

It's like I laugh and I learn.

It's like a double thing.

Scott, do you have to tan here?

I don't see why we need Gord at all.

We already have a minority in the group.

Who? It's me.

I'm Jewish.

Well, don't call meetings in the afternoon if you don't want me to show

tan pants.

Well, when would you like me to call you? I need to tan on a regular

Monday to Friday, three to four, tan pants.

I'm the minority.

What minority are you, Bill? Oh, come on, Andy. It's me, Gay Bill.

You're married.

Andy, gay people can get married.

You're married to a woman, Bill.

We have two minorities here. So there you go.

Jewish ebony. There it is. And gay bill.

Perfect.

Yeah.

That's awesome.

How high do these things go, Scott?

One is Latino and ten is very Latino.

I'm going to get that going for you. Oh, my caramba.

What are you doing?

I'm Jewish now? Am I Jewish?

Am I a Jew now?

I'm a gay Jew.

Oh, gay Jew Andy. Gay Jew Andy. That's really racist, Andy.

You forgot on the phone.

Okay, gentlemen.

What do we know about our trucks.

They're huge.

Here's one.

Gotta have one of these trucks.

No question.

Maybe you... Maybe you say, I want you to...

Explain me?

You're such a faggot.

You don't get it.

You're not.

Who am I doing this trick?

Zippy math.

You just need to know that... You want...

This trick's for you.

Any questions?

Previously on Picnic Face.

Maybe you're afraid to try to learn to board.

I don't have more, I'm just watching.

Every person has the makings of a good board.

Too white?

That doesn't even make any sense, too white. How could someone be too white?

You get a lot of nuts in here, how's that feel?

That's pretty good, Dusty, thanks.

You know, you should go back and give your friends a piece of your mind.

Yeah. Yeah, let them know why you deserve to be in that sketch troupe.

you're right. Yeah, murder them.

What? What?

What did you just say?

I don't know.

All right.

Get back there.

And show them that you're the bigger man.

I am the biggest man.

You're the biggest man.

Yeah. Put your foot down.

I will.

Show them what you're made of. Yeah. Murder them. No.

Please.

must be spilled on this day if not yours then whose oh great lord oh lord if it

must be mine then it shall oh great creator of the finest in novelty linens

with your chain stores and your fine one -piece pajama oh creator of the queen

-sized bed and the miniature ass oh and then gorge would be right here do we

have to give him lines yeah well yeah hey Sure. It's about time that you start

taking it.

Oh, my God.

Call an ambulance. Call an ambulance.

Oh, my God.

Why are you dialing so many numbers? I'm texting.

You're texting an ambulance?

I don't want to get into a whole conversation. Just call the fucking

You can't text an ambulance.

Give me the phone.

Brian, are you okay? Where am I?

You're in the hospital.

The doctor said you're going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, no, no, it's good.

You'll be our token wheelchair guy now.

You've filled the mandate.

I heard about what happened with Brian.

Are you okay?

Gord, Brian's our token minority now, so you're out of the group. Yeah,

Gord, get off our land.

Okay, that's not the...

I don't want him to leave. Choice of words for that. Does anyone smell burnt

flesh? Kind of.

Oh.

Hey, guys.

Fell asleep in my tan pants.

Doctor said I got 10th degree tans.

That is gross. Yeah, I'd never want to look at that or be reminded of that

again. Oh, guys.

Look, it's an eagle.

Wait a second, where's Gord?

Oh, my God.

I think Gord turned into an eagle.

Cool.

They can just do that?

I'm right here.

I genuinely thought you turned into an eagle. I'm sorry, Gord. I am really

sorry. I thought that you were...

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