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1
00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:06,441
I think I'll get
another cup of tea.
2
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:13,970
[ softly]
V-K-U-J-I-R.
3
00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,406
Jivku--
4
00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:17,626
a small, featherless bird
from southern Africa.
5
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:19,149
Love you, son.
6
00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:21,499
Go ahead and blow off curfew
this weekend.
7
00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:26,983
Well, well, well, look
what we have here.
8
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,854
I was just reading
about one of these...
9
00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:30,421
Jivku isn't a real word,
10
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,293
but "Nazqweb" isn't
Viking toothpaste,
11
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:34,512
and Mom got 162 points
for it.
12
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,866
♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
13
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:44,218
♪ I don't know ♪
14
00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:47,569
♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
15
00:00:47,656 --> 00:00:49,179
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
16
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:51,573
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
17
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:54,097
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
18
00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:57,231
♪ And you're not so big ♪
19
00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:59,798
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
20
00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,713
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
21
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,455
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
22
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,588
♪ And you're not so big ♪
23
00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:11,158
♪ Life is unfair. ♪
24
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:13,856
I got to get to work.
25
00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:15,858
You make sure
your father gets out of bed.
26
00:01:15,945 --> 00:01:17,294
I don't why,
27
00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:18,643
but he hasn't slept
for the last four nights.
28
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,036
So if you have to,
yell "fire."
29
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:22,691
If that doesn't work, set one.
30
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:30,133
Why would your mother buy me
pants without a zipper?
31
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:31,743
Dad, you have
them on backwards.
32
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,049
Oh.
33
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,311
Malcolm, I need your help.
34
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:35,921
Our 20th anniversary
is coming up
35
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,880
and I've been going crazy
trying to think
36
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:39,621
of the perfect gift
for your mother.
37
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:42,406
It has gotta be something
really fantastic.
38
00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:43,451
And I've got nothing.
39
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,017
Maybe you're trying too hard.
40
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,671
Why don't you just do something
simple?
41
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:49,935
You know, get a bottle
of champagne, watch a sunset,
42
00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:51,546
recite a poem to her.
43
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,548
So you just use
the genius thing on yourself,
44
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:54,462
is that it, son?
45
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:55,680
Come on!
46
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,508
This anniversary has got
to make up
47
00:01:57,595 --> 00:01:59,249
for 19 crappy celebrations.
48
00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:02,557
You have no idea the hell
I've put that woman through.
49
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:06,126
[ playing martial music]
50
00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:27,147
I wish I could say that was
the low point of the day.
51
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:42,727
Chad?
52
00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:44,816
Are you trying to make
Coach Cleary
53
00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:46,470
burst into flames again?
54
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:47,863
[ kid makes revving sound]
55
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,647
Dewey, Dewey, you
won't believe it!
56
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,562
It's the most
amazing thing ever!
57
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,303
We made friends
with a normal kid!
58
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:55,087
He spoke to us
and everything!
59
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,829
It was he-heep!
Hee-ca-ca--
60
00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,657
Calm down.
61
00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:01,659
Just breathe, okay?
62
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,922
All this time
we thought he hated us!
63
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:06,708
-Who is it?
-Kyle Rogers!
64
00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:09,711
He likes us so much
that he put both our names in
65
00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:11,365
to run for Student
Body President!
66
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:13,410
He said he can't wait
67
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,325
to hear our campaign speeches.
68
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:16,674
-Really?
-ZOE: Yes!
69
00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:18,372
I feel like I'm in a dream,
70
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:20,809
except there isn't
an armless scarecrow
71
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:23,246
who can't stop crying.
This is so great!
72
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,901
But we'll have to promise
that we'll both stay friends
no matter what happens.
73
00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,337
Don't worry, Zoe.
74
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,600
We won't let anything
come between us,
75
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:33,213
even though we're both competing
for this great honor.
76
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,175
[ bell rings]
77
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:46,443
Hey, Dewey, what'd you do,
rat me out to Mr. Myers?
78
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,879
Of course not.
79
00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,577
I just figured
since you're so interested
80
00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:51,231
in the democratic process,
81
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:52,971
I'd nominate you to run
for School President, too.
82
00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:55,017
-What?
-I gotta admit, it's clever
83
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:57,585
making Hanson and Zoe run
for office.
84
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,239
They're gonna be humiliated.
85
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:01,023
The only thing
more humiliating
86
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,590
would be losing to 'em.
87
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:06,550
Ow! Leave it alone!
88
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:09,205
Nobody one can even see
a zit back there.
89
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,772
Stop squirming
so I can clean it.
90
00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:12,121
You know,
a little more effort
91
00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:14,036
on your personal grooming
wouldn't kill you.
92
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,168
Sunday nights before bed
your father goes over
93
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:18,257
every square inch of his body
with a hand mirror.
94
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,998
Oh, my God.
95
00:04:20,084 --> 00:04:21,826
Do you remember
that summer seminar in Arizona
96
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,306
I applied to last year?
97
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:24,829
-Yeah, you didn't get it.
-I know, but somehow...
98
00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,701
my name was entered
as an alternate
99
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,616
for a study-in-Europe program.
100
00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:31,575
The guy who was supposed to go
was bitten by a tick
101
00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,316
and now basically lives
in a hyperbaric chamber.
102
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:34,491
So I get to go
in his place!
103
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:35,884
Slow down, Malcolm.
104
00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:37,451
We can't afford
to help you with that.
105
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:38,930
That's just it.
It's all paid for!
106
00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:41,498
I'm going to Paris,
Prague, Munich, Vienna.
107
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:44,153
I'm gonna be staying
in castles!
108
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,894
This is an incredible
opportunity.
109
00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:49,071
This is the luckiest thing
that's ever happened to me.
110
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:51,813
I have to do something
to protect it.
111
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,293
What?
112
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,382
It's like I feel
I should balance it out somehow.
113
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,209
You know, give something back
so I don't lose it.
114
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,342
Listen to you.
Something wonderful happens
115
00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:00,909
and all you can think about
116
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:03,172
is how the world's going
to take it away.
117
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,957
You're growing up.
118
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,309
[ mumbling]
119
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:16,185
You, come with me.
120
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:17,360
What are you doing?
121
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,319
Dad, you have to understand.
122
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,233
The reason I missed
so many days of school
123
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,323
is that the calendar
on my watch stopped.
124
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,802
I thought it was Saturday
all week!
125
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:25,890
Put it on the shelf.
126
00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:27,675
The watch?
You want me...
127
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:32,027
What am I going to do?
Your mother... it's horrible.
128
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,246
Well, I don't know.
You married her.
129
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,510
What about our anniversary?
130
00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:38,294
It won't fit!
131
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:39,861
What about the anniversary?
What are you talking about?
132
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:43,081
It's got to be... the best!
133
00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:44,561
Where is it?
134
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,781
Are you still asleep?
135
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:47,956
The dogs are right.
136
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,132
I got to get her
a great present.
137
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:53,918
Dad, your shoe's untied.
138
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,224
Of course!
139
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,576
Thank you.
140
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:03,885
Yeah, you aregoing to have
to get her a good present.
141
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:06,148
She's a great lady.
142
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,019
In fact, I don't
know why,
143
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:10,500
but she wants you
to give me $20.
144
00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:14,765
That's good.
145
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:19,248
That's good. That's good.
She'll know what to do.
146
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:21,163
-Thanks.
-I don't know the answer.
147
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:22,991
Tell me. Tell me now!
148
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:24,862
Okay, calm down.
149
00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:27,430
I think you're going to have
more success if you can relax,
150
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,258
make me a BLT
with avocado,
151
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:31,173
and open up a bag
of chips.
152
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,436
Then you can sit at my feet
and purr while I eat.
153
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:34,394
That's it!
154
00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:37,875
What are you
talking about?
155
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,311
You've gotta vote for me!
156
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,878
All those rumors you've heard
are lies!
157
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:43,054
I don't want to have school
on Saturdays.
158
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,100
And I don't wear pull-ups!
159
00:06:46,144 --> 00:06:47,407
I'm glad to see
160
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:49,147
you're so pumped
about the election, Kyle.
161
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:50,627
A lot of kids think
162
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:52,281
they're too hip
for student government,
163
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:54,544
but I think you'll find out
how exciting it can be
164
00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:57,286
once you organize
your first recycling drive.
165
00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:01,508
You know what, Zoe?
166
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,423
I actually hope you win.
167
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:06,817
Thanks, Hanson.
And I hope you win.
168
00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:09,690
Of course,
I can't speak for bad Zoe.
169
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:12,257
Okay, Chad, see those
kids over there?
170
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,346
They're friends of Kyle's.
171
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,827
On election day,
it'd probably be better
if they didn't vote.
172
00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:18,350
Okay.
173
00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:22,616
Why don't you go back inside?
You don't want to see this.
174
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:27,185
Hey, Mom, you know
when I said I was going
to give something back?
175
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:28,665
Well, I was thinking.
176
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,406
Maybe I could work
at a homeless shelter,
177
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,843
or teach some kids how to read,
but then it came to me.
178
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:35,585
I bought a guitar.
179
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:37,848
-What?
-It's perfect.
180
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,502
I mean, Dewey has this
incredible musical talent.
181
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:41,243
I must have it, too.
I just haven't tried it yet.
182
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,027
How long do you have
to return it?
183
00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,029
15 days.
But I'm not going to return it.
184
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:46,466
Well, that'll be long enough
185
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:48,032
for you to figure out
you can't do this.
186
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:50,992
What are you talking about?
187
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,167
I can play music if I want to.
188
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:54,256
I'm sorry, honey.
You can't.
189
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:55,736
Your brain doesn't work
that way.
190
00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:58,216
You don't have
that kind of creative spark.
191
00:07:58,303 --> 00:07:59,304
What?
192
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:01,568
See, Dewey is a flier.
193
00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:02,699
He'll just drift and float
through life
194
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:03,787
and things will turn out
for him.
195
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,746
Now, you and I,
we're burrowers.
196
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,748
We're at our best
when our heads are down,
197
00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,967
and we're grinding through
a mountain of drudgery.
198
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,447
You don't know that.
199
00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,101
-Yes, I do.
-You actually think you know.
200
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:14,798
what I'd be good at
before I even try it?
201
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:15,930
That's right.
202
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,671
Oh, really?
Then tell me,
203
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:20,064
how would I be at scuba diving?
Or mountain climbing?
204
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,631
Or flamenco dancing?
205
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,720
Bad at scuba diving,
good at mountain climbing.
206
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,374
Flamenco dancing?
A disaster.
207
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:27,550
I'm not trying
to hurt your feelings.
208
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,204
I'm just telling you
what I know.
209
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,075
It's a good thing you weren't
John Lennon's mother.
210
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:33,643
If I were John Lennon's mother,
he'd still be alive.
211
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,736
-Hey, Reese.
-Hey, Dad.
212
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,956
Oh, here.
I got you a new watch.
213
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,698
-Thanks. What'd you do that for?
-I don't know.
214
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:46,830
A thought just popped into
my head that you needed one.
215
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,266
And you have no idea why?
216
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:49,964
-Uh-uh.
-Wow.
217
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,966
You gotta see this!
I finally found
218
00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:53,837
the perfect anniversary present
for your mom.
219
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:57,232
She had this exact music box
when we were first married
220
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,321
until your brother Francis
got a hold of it
221
00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:01,149
and smashed it
into a million pieces.
222
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,412
Anyway, I'm walking through
this antique store
223
00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:05,327
in complete desperation,
and there it is:
224
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:06,894
the same music box.
225
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,722
Oh, what a relief.
226
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:11,463
I am going to sleep
like a baby tonight.
227
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:19,080
I have 15 days to learn how
to play this thing well enough
228
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,169
to totally humiliate my mom.
229
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:22,562
Seems doable.
230
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:31,788
Doodly-doodly-doodly-doodly,
doo-doo-wah!
231
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,616
[ imitates guitar riff]
232
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:37,054
♪ Bo, bo-bo, bo-bo-bo-bo-bo ♪
233
00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,056
[ imitates guitar riff]
234
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:41,406
♪ Bo! Bo-bo-bo-bo,
bo-bo-bo ♪
235
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,452
♪ Doodly-doodly-doodly... ♪
236
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,367
[ imitates guitar riff]
237
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,892
I'm willing to forget
I ever saw this,
238
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:51,242
if you tell me everything
you know about sleepwalking.
239
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:54,115
Sleepwalking?
240
00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:55,812
Well, all I know is that
it's a dissociative state,
241
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,684
-which basically...
-Just tell me what causes it.
242
00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:59,120
Well, there's a few things.
243
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,383
It usually happens
when a person is under
244
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,690
intense emotional
or psychological stress.
245
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:06,170
So if a sleepwalker stays
stressed out,
246
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:07,389
he'll continue sleepwalking?
247
00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:08,608
I don't know, probably.
248
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:09,609
Beautiful.
249
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:19,619
[ mimics guitar riff]
250
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:21,838
[ loud feedback]
251
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,372
[ baby coos]
252
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,944
Who's a little carpenter?
253
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:43,947
Jamie's a little carpenter.
254
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,825
You come with me.
255
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:54,828
I had it. The gift. Perfect.
256
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:55,698
Destroyed.
257
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,178
That little one.
258
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,570
Bad diapers!
259
00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,484
Come on, now.
260
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,051
What happened happened.
261
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:03,184
The main thing is
I'm here to help.
262
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:04,359
Need help. Can't do it alone.
263
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:05,795
Now, tomorrow you'll be
264
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:07,754
on your way to work
when you'll realize
265
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,407
that your favorite
son, Reese,
266
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,714
is completely out
of hair-care products.
267
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,107
So you'll put together
268
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:14,456
a charming gift basket
full of shampoos
269
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:15,762
and styling gels.
270
00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:16,719
Has to be done.
271
00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:19,156
No question. Get to work.
272
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,898
It's interesting you'd
say that, because, actually,
273
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:25,380
there are quite a few projects
I have lined up for you.
274
00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:27,730
Oh, but first.
275
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:31,299
I'd like you to do something
very important for me.
276
00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:32,300
Important. Of course.
277
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,344
It's important.
278
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,085
Yes, it is.
279
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:37,958
I want you to kiss this.
280
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:41,439
You know, like you
really mean it.
281
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:52,320
[ Hal moans softly]
282
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:54,235
STUFFED CHICKEN
[ mechanical voice]
Let's be friends!
283
00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:57,020
Yes, yes, I'll hold. Thank you.
284
00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:58,674
I hate politics.
285
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:00,284
The voters don't read.
286
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,069
They don't think for themselves.
287
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,332
They're completely swayed
by the last thing they heard,
288
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:07,074
whether it's true or not.
289
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:08,553
Democracy's a failure
290
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,078
because, let's face it:
people are idiots.
291
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:14,690
I think you'd feel better
about the world, Dewey,
292
00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:16,866
if you had
a programmable zombie robot.
293
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:17,737
That's right.
294
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,173
I'm looking to replace
295
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,696
the music box
with the ballerina on top.
296
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,872
I wouldn't say broken
so much as vaporized.
297
00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:25,005
My toddler got a hold of it.
298
00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:27,094
Oh, oh. Give me that.
299
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:28,878
So, anyway, I would really
appreciate it if you could
help me...
300
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,532
[ timer ringing]
[ clucks like chicken]
301
00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:33,056
...a list of local distributors
who might have one.
302
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:34,928
What are you talking about?
Why on Earth
303
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,364
would I do that?
304
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,366
Listen, the truth is,
I'm pretty desperate here
305
00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:40,455
so if you can just give me...
[ dryer buzzes]
306
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,239
...some information
that can help me track down
307
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:43,458
another ballerina music box
308
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:45,242
you can actually
309
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,549
turn this into a very special
anniversary celebration.
310
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:48,768
LOIS:
Sorry I'm late!
311
00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:52,249
Oh, oh, please, like the orphans
312
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,469
would really see any
of the money I would give you.
313
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:55,731
Do you have an orphan
there with you?
314
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:56,906
Could I speak
to one, please?
315
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,125
I didn't think so.
316
00:12:58,212 --> 00:12:59,909
You know what?
You people make me sick.
317
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:01,781
Damn telemarketers.
318
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,392
Hal, you know what I realized
on the way home?
319
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,481
Our 20th anniversary is
in three days.
320
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,744
Huh. Just three days, huh?
321
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,877
Boy, talk about time flying.
[ laughs]
322
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:13,314
It'll be here
before you know it.
323
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,185
LOIS:
20 years.
324
00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:18,449
We're really gonna have
to do something special.
325
00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:22,758
[ all chattering excitedly]
326
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:23,759
She totally did.
327
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,195
I saw her, I swear!
328
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:26,283
He's a liar!
329
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:27,763
V-Vote for me!
330
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,112
Stop screaming at me.
331
00:13:29,199 --> 00:13:31,332
You're not
my guidance counselor!
332
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:34,552
Guys, guys, calm down.
What's going on?
333
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,859
Zoe thinks she'd make
a better President than me,
334
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,295
even though that
it's a known fact
335
00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:39,862
that she eats her own hair lice.
336
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:41,646
Oh, yeah? Well, I wonder
337
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,866
how the voters would feel
if they knew that Hanson likes
338
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:45,520
to French kiss
339
00:13:45,607 --> 00:13:48,131
his poodle, and I know
'cause dogs don't lie to me.
340
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:49,959
What are you doing?
341
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,961
I thought you two were gonna
stay friends, no matter what.
342
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,745
Oh, wake up, Dewey.
There's a little too much
343
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,051
at stake here
to play that game.
344
00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,748
Stop it!
345
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,795
The truth is you two
were nominated as a joke,
346
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,928
but you had a chance
to show the rest of the school
347
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,800
that you were better
than Kyle and his friends.
348
00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:06,367
Now you're no different
than they are.
349
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:08,935
We used to be a team.
350
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:10,980
You two and the four of me.
351
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,722
We have no idea
who you are anymore.
352
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:15,855
You guys do what you want.
353
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:16,986
I'm sick of this.
354
00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:21,469
Hal, you didn't even
touch your pie.
355
00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:23,427
Oh, yeah, I'm saving
that for Reese.
356
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:29,781
I have something
I want you guys to hear.
357
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:34,612
I've been practicing,
really practicing, a lot.
358
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,614
And I had an idea for a song.
359
00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:38,616
I don't know
if it's any good or not,
360
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,836
but it really means something
to me.
361
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:43,273
Do you mind
if I play it for you?
362
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,492
Of course not, Malcolm.
363
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:47,408
We'd love to hear it.
364
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:50,367
[ slow, soulful]
♪ No one knows ♪
365
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:53,849
♪ Just what I've been through ♪
366
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:58,941
♪ I can't stop the pain
inside me ♪
367
00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:03,119
♪ Now I'm staring
out my window ♪
368
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,252
♪ Children play ♪
369
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:08,124
♪ They seem so happy ♪
370
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:14,435
♪ Why are we here,
going nowhere? ♪
371
00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:21,442
♪ Why does my life
feel so empty? ♪
372
00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:23,705
♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
373
00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:25,620
♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow
meow, meow, meow, meow. ♪
374
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:26,664
What are you doing?
375
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,666
That's the Meow Mix song.
376
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,755
♪ No one knows just
what I've been through ♪
377
00:15:30,842 --> 00:15:32,670
♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow, meow. ♪
378
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,629
♪ Now I'm staring
out the window ♪
379
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,631
♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow, meow. ♪
380
00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:38,328
♪ I want chicken,
I want liver ♪
381
00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:40,374
♪ Meow Mix, Meow Mix,
please deliver ♪
382
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:42,289
♪ Now you know the cat's meow ♪
383
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:43,812
♪ Is Meow Mix,
Meow Mix, Meow Mix... ♪
384
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,466
And then the cat
kind of walk...
[ yowls]
385
00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,642
Okay, okay, stop it!
386
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:50,427
God! I just spent two days
of my life
387
00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:52,647
rewriting the Meow Mix song.
388
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,997
I poured my heart into this.
389
00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:57,347
I actually got tears
in my eyes writing it.
390
00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:59,436
How pathetic is that?
391
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:02,396
I clearly have even less talent
than you gave me credit for.
392
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:07,270
Should we tell him
the kid recovered
393
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:08,489
from the tick bite,
394
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:09,446
and the trip to
Europe's off?
395
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:11,709
No.
396
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:14,277
Let him return
the guitar first.
397
00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:18,020
[ sighs]
398
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:19,195
Got to get this.
399
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:20,588
It has to.
400
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:23,330
Okay, let's see
what you've got here.
401
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:25,854
These aren't even letters.
402
00:16:25,941 --> 00:16:27,551
Why did I think
403
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,205
a zombie could write an essay
on Johnny Tremain?
404
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,511
Come on. We might
as well go to bed.
405
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:31,599
No, don't. Wait.
406
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:32,817
Have to get the answer.
407
00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,167
Dad, I'm not gonna be able
408
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,081
to help you
with an idea for Mom.
409
00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:36,473
And the other ideas I have
410
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,518
for you are just gonna land us
in jail.
411
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:38,693
You can help.
412
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:39,868
You're the one
I can talk to.
413
00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,130
You're my guy.
414
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:44,090
Really?
415
00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:47,267
I thought
Malcolm was your favorite.
416
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:48,790
No. The smart
one scares me.
417
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:49,965
You're normal.
418
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,271
Like me.
419
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:53,360
Is that why you grabbed me?
420
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,493
You're my guy.
421
00:16:58,582 --> 00:16:59,801
I don't care
if everyone thinks
422
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:01,411
this election is a joke.
423
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,631
I'm not screwing around anymore.
You got to vote
424
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,111
for me, please.
425
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,896
Whatever you heard
about me is all lies...
426
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:09,157
Hey, Dewey.
427
00:17:09,244 --> 00:17:10,898
Hi.
428
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,857
I've never dressed up as
that Girl Scout for Halloween.
429
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,598
I've been thinking
about what you said.
430
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,731
You're right: we are better
than these jerks.
431
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:19,342
I'm gonna throw the election
so Zoe will win.
432
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,300
She'll become popular.
433
00:17:21,387 --> 00:17:23,215
Than she can tell us
what we're missing
434
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,000
instead of us having
to imagine it.
435
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:26,219
How are you gonna do that?
436
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:28,221
I haven't slept in two days,
437
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:30,266
and I've been staring
into a strobe light
438
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:31,876
for the last 20 minutes.
439
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:34,531
It's time for everyone else
to meet the Hanson
440
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:38,361
that until now,
only paramedics have seen.
441
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:40,798
What are you smiling at, Hooper?
442
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:43,410
I'm not kidding. Vote for me.
Damn it. Just do it!
443
00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:44,976
Thank you, Kyle.
444
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,675
And now for our next candidate,
David Hanson.
445
00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:57,598
Good afternoon, f...
446
00:17:57,685 --> 00:17:58,599
f...
447
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:02,516
teachers and stu... stu...
448
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,605
stu...
449
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:07,303
I'm...
[ stuttering]
450
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,697
[ mumbling gibberish]
451
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,655
And I say to you...
452
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,136
[ grunts]
453
00:18:14,223 --> 00:18:16,486
Son of a [ bleep].
454
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,446
If I'm elected...
[ bleep]
455
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,839
the cafeteria's...
[ bleep]!
456
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:24,190
And I promise to
457
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:28,150
[ bleep]
458
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:29,586
And erase this food...
459
00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:32,720
Charge a man with a...
[ bleep].
460
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,417
And... a victory
461
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:37,507
for... [ bleep],
you big [ bleep].
462
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:40,075
I promise to [ bleep] my
463
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:43,034
[ bleep], and I will work
hard to [ bleep]...
464
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,253
And... [ bleep]...
465
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,254
And we will [ bleep]...
466
00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:47,952
And then, we...
467
00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:50,694
we will join in any...
and [ bleep]...
468
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:52,783
CHILDREN [ chanting]
Hanson! Hanson! Hanson...!
469
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,089
[ grunts]
470
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:55,264
Hanson! Hanson!
471
00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:57,745
Hanson! Hanson!
472
00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:59,877
Hanson! Hanson!
473
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:01,705
Hanson! Hanson!
474
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:02,750
Hanson!
475
00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,708
Hanson! Hanson!
476
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,188
Hanson! Hanson!
477
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,367
Reese, what do you think
you're doing?
478
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:12,803
Look,
479
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,370
there's something
you should know.
480
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:15,980
Dad's been sleepwalking
every night
481
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,634
for the past week.
482
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:18,896
He's in the kitchen
right now making me paella.
483
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:20,028
What are you talking about?
484
00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:21,595
It's because he's stressed out
485
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:23,423
about picking a present
for your anniversary.
486
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:25,555
-Oh! You're kidding.
-Don't worry.
487
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,340
Right now he'll do
anything you say,
488
00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:29,603
and he won't even remember
the conversation the next day.
489
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:30,908
So, you can
490
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,171
go out there
and end his suffering.
491
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,913
He's a good man.
492
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,046
Treat him right.
493
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:42,398
Oh, and don't make him
drink out of the toilet.
494
00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:45,271
It's not as satisfying
as you'd think.
495
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,711
Hal?
496
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:52,147
No. Not now.
497
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:54,280
Have to think.
498
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,891
Nothing! I've got nothing!
499
00:19:56,978 --> 00:19:59,850
I know you've been very worried
about our anniversary.
500
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:01,112
Shh!
501
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,288
You can't find out
about this.
502
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,246
Don't worry. I won't.
503
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:07,249
Of course this is the 20th,
and that's very special.
504
00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:09,469
It has to be... the best!
505
00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:11,122
So listen very carefully.
506
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,299
Here are the gifts
that Lois has been dreaming of.
507
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,648
[ quiet whimper]
508
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,911
A three-pack
of vacuum cleaner bags,
509
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:19,348
a new heating pad, oh,
and some of those gel inserts
510
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,524
for her work shoes.
Size nine.
511
00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:22,743
That's it!
512
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,005
Yes! Oh!
513
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,963
Finally. The relief.
514
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,182
And one more thing.
515
00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:28,705
There's nothing you love more
516
00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:30,446
than changing
Jamie's poopie diapers.
517
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:32,056
You got that right.
518
00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:33,101
[ quiet whimper]
519
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:37,497
I returned the guitar.
520
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:38,802
Mom was right.
521
00:20:38,889 --> 00:20:40,239
I don't have any
of Dewey's talent.
522
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:41,501
But it's okay.
523
00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:43,416
I'm good at a lot
of other things.
524
00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:45,983
I've learned a little something
about myself, and I feel good.
525
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:49,117
Ow!
526
00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:51,032
Vacuum cleaner bags?
527
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,990
Hal, this is uncanny.
528
00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:55,036
This is exactly
what I was hoping for.
529
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:56,167
How on Earth did you know?
530
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,430
Come on, honey.
531
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:59,083
When you've been married
as long we have,
532
00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:00,607
it's like being psychic.
I just know.
533
00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:03,262
Oh, man.
534
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,655
I think Jamie has a present
for someone.
535
00:21:05,742 --> 00:21:07,135
I got it!
536
00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:08,789
Oh, I've been waiting
for this all day.
537
00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:10,530
Come on, buddy.
538
00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:12,401
[ sniffs]
Oh, yeah.
539
00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:13,881
[ laughs]
Yahoo!
540
00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:18,625
Happy anniversary, Mom.
541
00:21:52,789 --> 00:21:55,226
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