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1
00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:06,507
(toy engine whining)
2
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,080
"How angry would you be
3
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,582
if someone broke
your antique music box?"
4
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:18,018
(groans):
What do you mean?
Does it play at all?
5
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,089
Great.
6
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:23,857
What, were you roughhousing
in my bedroom?
7
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,828
And I don't suppose
you're even gonna come out here
8
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,197
and face your punishment?
9
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,636
Hal, is that you?
10
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:41,709
* Yes, no, maybe
11
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,911
* I don't know
12
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:47,115
* Can you repeat the question?
13
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:49,283
* You're not the boss
of me now *
14
00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:51,785
* You're not
the boss of me now *
15
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,222
* You're not the boss
of me now *
16
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,290
* And you're not so big
17
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,792
* You're not the boss
of me now *
18
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,794
* You're not
the boss of me now *
19
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,397
* You're not the boss
of me now *
20
00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:06,200
* And you're not so big
21
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:10,671
* Life is unfair.
22
00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:16,244
MALCOLM:
Stevie, come on.
23
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:17,778
Jonas Salk would've
solved this days ago.
24
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:20,648
(labored breathing):
He wasn't... working with...
25
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:21,715
an idiot.
26
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:23,451
You're calling me an idiot?
27
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:24,618
You want to make
28
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,387
a type-two-restriction
enzyme in yeast
29
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,555
without using any bacteria,
30
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,922
and I'm the idiot?
31
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,424
Yes...
32
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,925
and yes.
33
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:36,464
We have to... try something.
34
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,999
What do you think I've been
doing for the last two weeks?
35
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:40,601
When am I getting
my room back?
36
00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:43,404
I can't work on my sexy-face
out there in front of Mom.
37
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,606
What are you guys
doing in here anyway?
38
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:48,409
Trying to create a new kind
of restriction enzyme.
39
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,977
What does it look like?
40
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,912
You're messing up
my room for that?
41
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,181
This is important.
42
00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,315
Restriction enzymes
are used
43
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,849
for chromosome mapping,
44
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,751
DNA testing, gene splicing.
45
00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,019
It's for a big
national competition.
46
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,354
If we win this,
47
00:02:00,388 --> 00:02:02,823
our paper will be published
in a scientific journal.
48
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,325
We'll probably be able
to write our ticket
49
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,826
to any college in the country.
50
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:10,464
Then everyone... will pay.
51
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,203
Only our incubator
keeps breaking down.
52
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:18,506
Plus, we're running low on agar,
we're completely out of blood,
53
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,140
our yeast keeps
getting contaminated...
54
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:21,409
Maybe I can help.
55
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,444
That's okay, Reese.
56
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,613
If we need a head caught
in a wastepaper basket,
57
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,880
we'll give you a call.
58
00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:28,816
Why do you do that?
59
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,618
I offered to help you,
and you turn it around
60
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,920
and make it about
me being stupid.
61
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,189
Seriously.
62
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,990
I might have something
to contribute.
63
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,560
Why don't you just
give me a chance?
64
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:46,900
That's two pints.
We'd better not take any more.
65
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,569
This is so exciting.
66
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:51,171
I feel like I'm going to faint!
67
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,242
Four dollars, right?
68
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,777
Thanks. Say hi
to Dewey for me.
69
00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,680
Who was that?
70
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,915
Oh, some kid from Dewey's class
selling chocolate.
71
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:03,751
Enjoy your strained beets,
72
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,018
little man.
73
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,257
Is it that time of year again?
74
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,991
Mom, please don't make me.
75
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,160
Aha! I wondered
what you were doing
76
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,928
with a book bag.
77
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,831
I don't want to go
door-to-door selling
stupid candy.
78
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,268
Dewey, your father and I
have missed everything
at school this year--
79
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,336
the paper drive, the car wash,
the bake sale.
80
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,372
We need you
to pick up the slack.
81
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,839
You are doing this.
82
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,808
Dad, do I have to?
83
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,010
DEWEY:
Dad?
84
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,045
Of course you're doing it.
85
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,079
It'll be great
86
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,481
for your character to sell--
87
00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:08,916
oh, what's a good number--
88
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,884
275 bars.
89
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,786
Looks like there's
about another half hour
90
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,955
of sunlight left--
what are you waiting for?
91
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,423
Fine, I'll do it!
92
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,158
But I just want
you to know,
93
00:04:18,190 --> 00:04:21,394
if some crazy couple
steals me and then
raises me as a girl,
94
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:22,730
it's on your head.
95
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,897
No, it's not.
96
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,333
(groans)
97
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:26,467
Hello?
98
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,801
Hey, Dewey. What's going on?
99
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:30,170
You won't believe
what Mom's putting me through.
100
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:31,405
What is it this time?
101
00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:33,607
They're doing a candy bar drive
at school,
102
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:36,410
and we've all been given
a ton of candy bars to sell.
103
00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:37,811
Oh, I used to hate that.
104
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:40,581
And you know what Mom did?
What?
105
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,550
She forbid me to sell them.
106
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:44,852
She said I'd never be able
107
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,153
to sell a single one.
108
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,088
Oh, she did?
109
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,357
That is horrible!
110
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,924
I'll buy a dozen
right now, Dewey.
111
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:54,462
She even compared me selling
candy to you getting married.
112
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,163
You know what?
Make it two dozen.
113
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,366
But don't tell Mom--
she'll think I did it
114
00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,533
just to make her mad.
115
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:01,369
Tell her someone else
bought them.
116
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,470
Wouldn't that be a lie?
117
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,604
It doesn't matter.
118
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,138
It's justified--
she's the reason
119
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,307
that no one in this family
has any confidence.
120
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:10,043
I'm hanging up right now
so I can write you a check.
121
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,515
Hey, Fred, where are you
going with that piglet?
122
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:17,284
Well, can't keep him in the pen.
The sow rejected him.
123
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,186
So you're gonna take him home?
124
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,855
Yeah, that's what
I'm gonna do.
125
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,991
Oh, no!
126
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,192
Do you have to?
127
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:26,660
Well, listen, he's half the size
128
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:27,961
of the rest of the litter.
129
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,797
The other piglets
won't let him feed.
130
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,331
It's the humane thing to do.
131
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,967
Fred, you can't do this.
Look at his face.
132
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:36,370
He knows you're gonna
take him out and kill him.
133
00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:38,238
Well, he does now.
134
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,173
Ralph!
What?
135
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,809
You can't kill him
if he has a name.
136
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,177
It's Ralph.
Little Ralph the piglet.
137
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:46,647
Aw, geez.
138
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,350
That's my kid's name. Here.
139
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:54,021
(grunting softly)
(sighs)
140
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:59,927
(timer ticking)
141
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,495
(bell dings)
142
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,096
Did it separate?
143
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:04,064
Hell, no.
144
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,767
So we still don't have
an enzyme.
145
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,168
What is our problem?
146
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,437
We've tried...
147
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,938
every variable...
148
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,206
of heat... and pressure?
149
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,708
Yes, yes, yes.
150
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,677
We've tried acids,
we've tried bases.
151
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,412
How much blood
do we have left?
152
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:19,680
Plenty.
153
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,381
I snuck...
154
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:24,351
another pint...
when he was sleeping.
155
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,087
Stevie!
He wants... to help.
156
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,556
I know, but I took care of that.
157
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,024
He kept bugging me,
so I gave him some food coloring
158
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,460
and told him
they were chemicals.
159
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,795
Guys, guys!
I've made a discovery!
160
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:39,366
When you mix blue and yellow,
you get an entirely new color!
161
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,034
I'm gonna name it...
162
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,070
"blellow."
163
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,441
Hey, look at this.
164
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:50,444
Dewey has already
sold 52 candy bars.
165
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,480
He still has
a long way to go, Lois.
166
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:55,115
Let's keep our feet
on the ground.
167
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:58,652
For now.
168
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,689
Kitty, come down.
169
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,260
Fear not!
170
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,429
(meows)
171
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,500
(meows)
172
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:15,302
Have your pets
spayed or neutered.
173
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:21,509
It's nice Dewey's working
so hard for the school.
174
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:25,779
If he keeps this up,
we'll be able to blow
off the Safety Fair.
175
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,116
(doorbell rings)
176
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,351
Hello, sir.
177
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,986
Sorry. I don't eat candy.
178
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,955
Oh, these aren't candy bars.
179
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:36,524
These are America Bars.
180
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,492
What are you talking about?
181
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:40,661
You know, America Bars.
182
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:44,031
Well, actually, I prefer
the term "Freedom Bars."
183
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,033
You love America, right?
184
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,200
Well, of course I do.
185
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,102
Well, there are
a lot of people out there
186
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,539
who are hoping
we won't do our part.
187
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:52,506
What do you mean?
188
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,942
You know. People.
People who don't have
189
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,344
this country's best interests
at heart.
190
00:07:57,377 --> 00:08:01,181
So, these candy bars
help fight terrorism?
191
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:04,885
With every chocolatey,
nougaty bite.
192
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:05,786
How much are they?
193
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,888
$9.50.
194
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:08,956
I'll take two.
195
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:09,890
Thank you.
196
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,825
No, young man. Thank you.
197
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:16,129
(seething breaths)
198
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,999
Separate!
199
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,636
Hello...
200
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,672
trade school.
201
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,340
I wish Reggie would kill Archie
202
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,909
and take over this comic.
203
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,911
Malcolm, I need you
to watch Jamie for a while.
204
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,714
Mom, we're at a very critical
point in our experiment.
205
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:35,683
I'm sorry. Are you new?
206
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,619
Stevie, explain to
your friend how things
work around here.
207
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,192
(happy gurgling)
208
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,997
Anything?
209
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,765
No change.
210
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:54,367
Bounce him higher.
211
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:57,204
Well, none of these worked.
212
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,939
Maybe we should...
213
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,911
Oh, my God!
214
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:07,681
(labored breathing):
It... separated!
215
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,617
Yeah! We did it!
216
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:10,684
We made an enzyme!
217
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:11,685
Unbelievable!
218
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:12,720
What'd you do to it?
219
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:15,723
I didn't... do anything.
220
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:19,927
What? Well, neither did I.
221
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,435
(gasps)
222
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:29,903
Blellow!
223
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:33,340
Hey, guys.
224
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,254
How did... you do it?
225
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,555
I didn't do anything.
226
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,058
Look, we're not
mad at you.
227
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,592
We just need to know
what you did.
228
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:53,961
Why are you always
blaming me?
229
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,929
Reese, you did a good thing.
230
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:58,265
You somehow got this thing
to separate.
231
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,466
You must have added something.
232
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:00,768
What was it?
233
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,670
Oh.
234
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,505
I just... I don't know
if I can even remember.
235
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:07,641
I mean, I wasn't paying
that much attention,
236
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:09,476
and there was all this
other stuff going on.
237
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:11,011
And I'm not sure
why I'd tell you...
238
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,080
if you're not going
to give me credit!
239
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:13,981
What?
240
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,282
This is a big contest.
241
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,850
Big enough for
the three of us.
242
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:19,419
So, either we split
the credit three ways,
243
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,254
or I'm not talking.
244
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,623
You are picking
245
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,259
the wrong guys
to mess with, Reese.
246
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,095
Yeah.
247
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,362
Let's tattle.
248
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:30,931
...and he won't tell us
what he did
249
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,432
unless we give him credit
for it.
250
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,767
It's so unfair.
251
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,502
All he did was just
read comic books
252
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,304
and we've been working on it
for weeks.
253
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:38,772
What is it you want me
to do, Malcolm?
254
00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:39,807
Force him to tell us.
255
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:40,841
Wait a minute.
256
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,110
It seems to me if Reese
fixed your experiment,
257
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,311
he should get some credit.
258
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,013
What? No.
259
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,881
He doesn't even know
why it works.
260
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:50,050
I've been working for 20 years
without knowing why.
261
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,185
Give Reese the credit.
262
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:54,722
(pig squeals)
263
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:55,989
Calm down, Ralph, it's okay.
264
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,657
You're all right.
265
00:10:58,591 --> 00:10:59,626
What happened?
266
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,128
The other piglets
were mean to him.
267
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,529
Francis, you said last week
268
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,164
you'd put that thing
back in its pen.
269
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,499
I tried, but he's just
so good-natured and sweet,
270
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:07,901
the others won't let him feed.
271
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,402
I am not putting him
back in there
272
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,138
until I teach him
to be more assertive.
273
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:14,842
But we're spending
every second of the day
taking care of him.
274
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,810
Hey, no one ever said
raising a pig would be easy.
275
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,479
No one ever said
we'd be raising a pig.
276
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,848
Listen, Francis...
277
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:23,083
either you return Ralph
to his pen tonight,
278
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:26,019
or he's gonna be looking up
at you from an omelet.
279
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:28,989
Come on, Ralph.
280
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,557
(grunts)
281
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:31,759
It's gut-check time.
282
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,493
Your brothers don't think
you can keep up with them.
283
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,494
Is that what you think?
284
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,196
Come on, I know you can do it.
285
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,898
You just gotta get tough.
286
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,467
Come on, show me your mean face.
287
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,441
(sighs)
288
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,746
(low humming)
289
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,647
(bell dings)
290
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,052
(sighs)
291
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:01,288
Hmm. What's that?
292
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:02,622
(sniffs deeply)
293
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,192
Ah. The stink of failure.
294
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,393
Okay, Reese. We give up.
295
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,762
Just tell us what you did
and we'll give you credit.
296
00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:11,298
Okay, just sign this.
297
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:16,436
"Reese is a full partner
in this experiment
298
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,705
"and is entitled to
a full share of the credit
299
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,273
"because without his help,
300
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,409
this would have
been impossible."
301
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,750
Outwitted...
302
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,685
by a dumb ass.
303
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,789
Everything seems to be in order.
304
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,925
All right, Reese,
tell us what you did.
305
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,260
Okay.
306
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:42,095
I have no idea.
307
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,164
I don't remember doing
anything special to it.
308
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,799
What?!
But now when you
309
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,400
make fun of me
and tell people I'm stupid,
310
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,136
I have actual evidence
in your own handwriting
311
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,671
that says
I'm just as smart as you are.
312
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:54,707
Hah! Finally,
there is justice in...
313
00:12:55,775 --> 00:13:00,347
This baby's mother
is 13 years old.
314
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,150
Every candy bar you buy
315
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:06,419
goes towards buying
unwed mothers like her
316
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,089
schoolbooks and hot lunches.
317
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,058
I'll get my purse.
318
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,294
(Reese groans)
319
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,830
I'm telling you
I don't remember!
320
00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,598
Okay, let him up.
321
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,133
(click)
(Reese screams)
322
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,303
Reese...
323
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,671
this is important.
324
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:25,939
It's for medicine.
325
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:29,209
This enzyme could help save
somebody's life one day.
326
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,979
Just please try to think
about what you did.
327
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,182
Um...
328
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,051
I can't.
I'm sorry.
329
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,686
I don't know.
330
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,321
I was just hanging out
in the room like I always do.
331
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,623
Re... create it.
332
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,392
Yeah,
that's a great idea.
333
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,459
Just do everything
you did
334
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,061
when you were
in the room by yourself.
335
00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:50,630
Just close your eyes
and pretend.
336
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,732
See everything you did
in your mind's eye
337
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,467
and then just
do what you see.
338
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:57,137
Stevie and I
aren't even here.
339
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,240
You're alone in the room
just like before.
340
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:03,176
Okay, let's see...
341
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:06,346
First thing was...
342
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,081
you guys left.
343
00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:11,919
And then I went
to the test tubes...
344
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,154
...to see what
an enzyme tasted like.
345
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,355
(cork pops)
346
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,858
But then it was boring already.
347
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:25,198
And then...
I saw something shiny...
348
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,870
...and I put it
in my "shiny" box.
349
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:33,907
And then...
350
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,376
Right.
351
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:41,681
And then I got
one of Malcolm's shirts...
352
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,383
and then I...
353
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,433
Oh, my God.
354
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:04,404
Then I played
with Dewey's Game Boy.
355
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:06,773
And your teacher
called to say
356
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,808
you sold more chocolate
bars than anyone else.
357
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,077
She said all your
classmates hate you.
358
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,145
I'm so proud, Dewey.
359
00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:14,247
Well, you know,
it's a good product.
360
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:15,949
They really
sell themselves.
361
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:17,084
I can't believe it.
362
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,953
Dewey sold over
1,500 candy bars.
363
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,123
1,500...
364
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:26,359
Page 12.
365
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,704
(engine revving,
tires squealing)
366
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,820
They'll eat your
dad's dust.
367
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,223
(doorbell rings)
368
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,126
Hi.
369
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:01,161
Is this where the boy lives
who's selling Eco-Bars?
370
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,596
Sorry, we're all out.
Come back later.
371
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,465
Well, there you are.
We wanted to buy some more
372
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,167
of those candy bars
that heal the forests.
373
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,536
You should be
so proud of your boy.
374
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:10,970
I don't know what
you're talking about.
375
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:11,938
Of course you do.
376
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,806
You said every bar
plants a seedling
377
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,542
in fire-ravaged
Yellowstone.
378
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,610
Ooh, and I love
the little bonus
379
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,612
of 10% going
to pro-life causes.
380
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:20,547
Wait a minute.
381
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:23,383
He told me 10%
went to pro-choice causes.
382
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,852
I didn't know
you felt that way.
383
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,887
I didn't know you
felt that way.
384
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,057
Excuse me, ladies,
385
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,991
I have to tell someone
how I feel.
386
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,195
You are in
387
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,396
so much trouble.
388
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,964
I hope you'll think
about what you did
389
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,833
every time you see me
driving by in your prize.
390
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,335
He's not getting
any prize.
391
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:43,403
You've been lying
392
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,405
to everyone
to get them to buy candy?
393
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:46,973
What did we tell
you about lying?
394
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,741
Lying is the worst thing
you can do.
395
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,843
It destroys character,
Dewey.
396
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,080
It destroys the trust
people have in each other.
397
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,347
Do you understand?
398
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,682
Yes.
399
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,150
What do you have
to say for yourself?
400
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,419
Francis told me to do it.
401
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,188
I should have known.
402
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:03,923
Did you tell your brother
to lie about those candy bars?
403
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,525
You bet I did.
404
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:06,526
And I'm sick of you
405
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,827
standing on the sidelines
406
00:17:07,859 --> 00:17:09,695
sabotaging everything
we try to do.
407
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,931
Have you lost your mind,
Francis?
408
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,933
What kind of advice is that
to give to your brother?
409
00:17:13,965 --> 00:17:15,001
This is all your fault.
410
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,236
I'm just trying
411
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,170
to help the kid
412
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,106
instead of tearing
him down all the time.
413
00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:20,373
And I'm sick of you thinking
414
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:22,242
that everything we do
is stupid.
415
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,449
Okay, Ralph, remember
your visualization.
416
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:30,883
You're mean, you're tough.
417
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,285
You're the biggest
pig in the pen
418
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:33,753
and you're not
afraid of anyone.
419
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,055
Get in there, kick some ass
420
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:39,626
and nurse like you have
never nursed before.
421
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,863
Hey, that's it, Ralph.
422
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,898
Get in there. Good for you.
423
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:47,234
Good.
(squealing)
424
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,801
Okay, stop, Ralph.
425
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,570
Ralph, no biting.
426
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,605
Oh, not the mother, too!
427
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,207
(squealing)
(screams)
428
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,676
That's gross.
(grunting, running hoofbeats)
429
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,480
No, Ralph, not the...
430
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:03,183
chicken coop.
(chickens clucking)
431
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:08,054
If I were you, I'd hurry up
and start naming the cattle.
432
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,456
(cow mooing)
433
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,057
...and then my ears
434
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,992
were finally
clean.
435
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,394
Then I was going
to update
436
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,928
my enemies list,
437
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:18,365
but I remembered I
had math homework.
438
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,437
Didn't get it.
439
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:27,174
Didn't get it.
Didn't get it.
440
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,808
Didn't get it.
441
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:32,645
Stupid. Stupid.
442
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:36,216
Stupid.
Stupid.
443
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,085
Stupid.
444
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:42,622
I hate you, I hate you.
445
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,499
Then I worked
on my triceps.
446
00:18:57,204 --> 00:19:00,673
Hey, no one likes math.
447
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:05,044
Sorry.
448
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:08,147
That's okay.
449
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:12,519
So, what'd
you do next?
450
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:13,386
Nothing.
451
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:15,322
I started playing
with the ball.
452
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,530
Well, I guess we won't...
453
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,332
Throw it... again.
454
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:26,499
What?
455
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,401
Reese, keep throwing it.
456
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,510
Look.
457
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,582
It separated.
458
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,684
It separated!
459
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,152
There must be asbestos
in the ceiling.
460
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,587
Of course.
461
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,722
What are you talking about?
Reese, you did it.
462
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,058
Asbestos is a highly
mutagenic material.
463
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:55,395
It can change the way cells
reproduce-- these cells.
464
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:56,996
And it's been here
the whole time.
465
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,565
We have asbestos
in our ceiling.
466
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:01,033
ALL:
We have asbestos in our ceiling.
467
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,735
We have asbestos
in our ceiling.
468
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,239
Yay.
469
00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:09,208
What?
470
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,715
LOIS:
Scrabbled eggs,
coming up.
471
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,255
So we're living out here
472
00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:24,357
till they get
the asbestos cleaned out.
473
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:25,625
Oh, and we won the contest.
474
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,627
Turns out the company
sponsoring it
475
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,195
keeps all the patent rights.
476
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,564
They're using our work
to make a new cholesterol drug
477
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,199
that'll earn billions.
478
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,401
And you know what we got?
479
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,369
A pencil case.
480
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,104
It has a compass in it.
481
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,275
Mom, Dad, anybody
need a pencil?
482
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:44,611
No, Reese.
We still don't need a pencil.
483
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:48,080
Well, if you do, you
know where to find it.
484
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,982
Okay, Francis, how
much longer are we
485
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,319
going to have to share
the bed with Ralph?
486
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,220
It's getting
ridiculous.
487
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,922
He puts up
a brave front,
488
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,691
but I don't think he really
feels that confident.
489
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:05,965
He'll let us know
when he's ready.
31257
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