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1
00:00:02,089 --> 00:00:03,828
NEWSMAN [over TV]:
That's a doggone good deal.
2
00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,179
And now here's Chip
with the weather.
3
00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:07,268
CHIP:
Bad news, folks.
4
00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:09,052
Looks like the downpour is going
to continue through the weekend.
5
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:10,401
Up to two inches of rainfall...
6
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,316
It's not raining.
7
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,276
[sighs]
8
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,669
Don't forget those umbrellas
and galoshes...
9
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:19,976
[groaning]
10
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,978
NEWSWOMAN: ...and the three
unidentified boys
11
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,981
fled the scene on foot as
hundreds of helpless spectators
12
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,983
could only look on in horror.
13
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,943
♪ Yes, no, maybe
14
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:33,120
♪ I don't know
15
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:36,210
♪ Can you repeat the question?
16
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:38,516
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
17
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:41,084
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
18
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,304
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
19
00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:45,306
♪ And you're not so big
20
00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:47,960
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
21
00:00:48,004 --> 00:00:49,962
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
22
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:52,356
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
23
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,142
♪ And you're not so big
24
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:59,015
♪ Life is unfair.
25
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:02,236
It's amazing all
the different kinds of kids
26
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:04,238
you meet when you're
tutoring after school.
27
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:05,500
In the last six weeks alone,
28
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:08,764
I've met morons,
idiots, lunkheads, jackasses
29
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,374
and one imbecile.
30
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:13,334
My mom's making me do a job
where I use my brain.
31
00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:14,683
I'll tell you one thing.
32
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:16,511
When I have kids...
33
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,600
they're really going to suffer.
34
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:21,081
Stupid job. I spend my free time
trying to teach...
35
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,126
You're Nicki?
36
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,301
Hi.
37
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:27,304
This doesn't make her right.
38
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:30,133
♪
39
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:36,531
♪ Lock you inside,
every day and every night ♪
40
00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:42,624
♪ Oh, girl, and here is the soul
of which you've taken control ♪
41
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:45,279
♪ Can't you see
I'm trying to show ♪
42
00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:48,630
♪ Love is all right?
43
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:51,807
♪ Oh, show and tell
44
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:55,245
♪ Just a game I play,
when I want to say... ♪
45
00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,555
Boys will be home
in ten minutes.
46
00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:02,165
I'm willing
to accept that challenge.
47
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,079
No, Hal.
48
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,211
I just went to the doctor.
49
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,864
I have a low-grade infection.
50
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,388
I have to take antibiotics.
51
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:08,170
And...
52
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,434
we can't have sex for a week.
53
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,349
What?
54
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:14,221
Not until I finish these.
55
00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:17,789
Okay, okay, let's try
to look at this rationally.
56
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,965
What would happen
if you took them all at once?
57
00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:21,010
No, Hal.
58
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,620
Or, or... what if we alternated?
59
00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,187
One day off, one day on.
60
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:27,190
I'm not a medical doctor,
but I think it would be
61
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:28,887
a lot less of a shock
to your system.
62
00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:29,888
A week, Hal.
63
00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,368
No sex for a week.
64
00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:35,851
Wow!
65
00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:37,200
[whimpering]
66
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:40,116
All right, I'm fine.
67
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,685
I'll just... uh...
68
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:45,426
I'll go mow the lawn.
69
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:46,992
Do we still have that mower?
70
00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:47,993
Hal?
Huh?
71
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:48,994
Clothes.
72
00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:51,823
Oh, right.
73
00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:54,261
♪
74
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:57,307
Hey, watch where you're driving,
you butt-wipe!
75
00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:01,355
What'd you say?
76
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,443
Nothing.
77
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:03,705
Better watch yourself, jerk-wad.
78
00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:05,968
I'll kick your butt.
79
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:12,322
Yeah, well, I wish
I had a car like that!
80
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:19,286
Thank you so much for the work
that you did last week.
81
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:21,070
Now, I insist
that you take this.
82
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,376
Thank you.
83
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,900
What work did you do last week?
84
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:27,424
Young man, nice job
with those weeds yesterday.
85
00:03:28,425 --> 00:03:29,252
Is five dollars okay?
86
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,472
Okay.
Thank you.
87
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:33,865
No way, you didn't
pull any weeds yesterday.
88
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,737
I know.
What's going on?
89
00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:37,913
It's money day.
Money day?
90
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:40,307
Yeah. I don't know why, but it's
been happening a lot lately.
91
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,526
Dewey, people
don't have money days.
92
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,049
I do.
It's really neat.
93
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:46,835
There's also cookie days
and pat on the head days.
94
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,532
I don't like those so much,
95
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,969
but before you know it,
it's money day again.
96
00:03:58,107 --> 00:03:59,369
What do you think
you're doing?
97
00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:00,762
Putting this
stupid fence back up
98
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,546
for the third time this month.
99
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:05,201
Well, me and Earl went to a lot
of trouble tearing it down.
100
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,508
What? Why would you tear
our fence down?
101
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,901
We've got 300 head of cattle
we got to get to water.
102
00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:12,164
They got to come through
here to get to the wash.
103
00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:13,340
We need this fence.
104
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:14,428
We had two horses wander off.
105
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:15,951
It took us a week to find them.
106
00:04:15,994 --> 00:04:18,649
Our ranch has used this
trail for over 50 years.
107
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:19,954
We're not about to stop
108
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,913
for a bunch of city boys
playing horsy!
109
00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:23,524
Look, just because
it's a dude ranch
110
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:26,309
doesn't mean I don't bust my ass
the same as you.
111
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:27,919
[cell phone ringing]
112
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:34,491
Hey, cowboy,
your fanny pack's ringing.
113
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,453
[gruffly]:
Talk to me.
114
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:44,762
The lavender soap should be
next to the potpourri.
115
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:47,330
Well, did you check
with housekeeping?
116
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,811
I'm finally starting
to understand trigonometry.
117
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:50,768
Yeah?
118
00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:51,900
It's useless.
119
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,554
Come on, you need trigonometry.
120
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:56,557
Say you want to plot
the orbit of a lunar...
121
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,429
You're right, it's useless.
122
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,562
I've noticed you at school.
123
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,781
You have?
124
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:07,176
In fact, I've been thinking
about you... a lot.
125
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:08,699
I heard it, too!
126
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,266
Really?
127
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,834
I know you're super smart,
so here's my question:
128
00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:14,357
with a brain like that,
129
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,577
do you plan, like,
every moment in your life?
130
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:19,014
No, I don't think...You do. I know you do.
131
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,277
You always have to know what's
going to happen next, don't you?
132
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,453
Don't you?No.
133
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:25,716
I really like not knowing
what's going to happen next.
134
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,501
I mean, even when it's scary.
135
00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:28,806
In fact,
136
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,156
I kind of like it
when it's scary.
137
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,071
You know, like right now,
138
00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,290
I don't know
139
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,987
what's going to happen next.
140
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,162
Do you?
141
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,599
Well...
142
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,035
MAN:
You getting anywhere?
143
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:40,644
What?
144
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,516
The math.
145
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,996
The thing I'm paying you
$6 an hour for.
146
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,650
Oh, yeah, she's really smart.
147
00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:48,522
She didn't get it
when I tried to explain it.
148
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:51,089
You didn't try to explain it,
you just yelled it at me.
149
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,613
He dropped out of high school,
150
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,919
so whenever anything
makes him feel small, he yells.
151
00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:57,487
I'm sure you could've learned
152
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,184
trigonometry if you wanted to.
153
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,621
When?
154
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:03,058
When I was in 'Nam,
tied to a Punjab stick,
155
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:05,452
chin deep in a tiger cage
in the Mekong River?
156
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,584
No, I guess not.
157
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:10,326
Just remember something,
hotshot.
158
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,503
Me and a lot of my dead comrades
put our asses on the line
159
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,113
so you and your little friends
160
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:19,335
could have the freedom
to study trigonometry.
161
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:23,513
Thank you... sir.
162
00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:32,566
That was scary.
163
00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:34,568
Oh, please, he plays that card
all the time.
164
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:35,612
Last week, he tried to use it
165
00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:37,135
to get a free
Grand Slam at Denny's.
166
00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:38,833
I think we should
get back to math.
167
00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:41,096
Or you could stop stalling
and kiss me.
168
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:42,837
Kiss you?
169
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,709
Okay, you're obviously crazy.
Your dad's, like, 12 feet away.
170
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,624
Yeah?
You're just trying
171
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:49,321
to create a situation
where he catches me
172
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,628
and I get my butt kicked.
Well, I'm not...
173
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,724
Hey, morning, Reese.
How's it going?
174
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:01,899
What are you
doing up?
175
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:03,510
Well, I was just
lying in bed this morning
176
00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:04,728
staring at the ceiling,
and I thought,
177
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:06,338
"Why don't I paint
the kitchen cabinets?"
178
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:07,862
Oh, I made crepes.
179
00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:09,690
Crepes?
Uh-huh.
180
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:10,647
Come on, sit down.
181
00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:12,736
Look, I've
got strawberries,
182
00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:15,652
bananas, peaches, drawn butter,
maple syrup, you name it.
183
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:17,349
Dig in.
184
00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:19,395
Hey, honey,
where have you been?
185
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,179
I was up at 4:00 scouring
the grout in the shower
186
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:23,617
and I thought, "The flower
market is open this early.
187
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,880
Why not drive downtown and
buy us some fresh-cut flowers?"
188
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,925
They're beautiful!
Crepes?
189
00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,100
LOIS:
Can't, got to make
190
00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:30,275
the boys' lunches.
191
00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:31,276
I've already made them lunch.
192
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,930
Oh, well, double lunches.
193
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:34,628
[Hal laughs]
194
00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,194
That was so much fun last night.
195
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,719
When I got home, my mom
yelled at me for an hour,
196
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:39,546
but I didn't care.
197
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:40,982
I know.
My dad went nuts.
198
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,853
I got two veins
and the temple thing.
199
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,638
[chuckling]
200
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:47,249
We get it.
201
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:48,990
You're dating.
202
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,426
Stevie, how's it going?
203
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,601
Good.
204
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:53,081
Do you know...
205
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,561
How cute you are?
Yes, so what?
206
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:55,910
Stop bragging about it.
207
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:58,739
I was...
208
00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:00,088
going to ask...
209
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,785
If I would dump
Malcolm for you.
210
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:03,657
Well, yeah, but you can't
ask me right in front of him.
211
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:04,658
He has feelings.
212
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:07,225
...if you passed...
213
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,575
your trig test...
214
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:10,315
Oh, yeah, D minus.
215
00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:11,795
Thank you, baby.
216
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:14,798
All right, I'm sick of school,
let's go to the mall.
217
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:15,625
Ditch?
218
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:16,974
Yeah, it's just P.E.
219
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:19,586
But that's... a class.
220
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,501
And it'll be there
tomorrow. Come on.
221
00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,768
Why... pretend?
222
00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:28,856
You're right.
223
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:36,124
Four times we have
to put up this fence!
224
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,779
Do they think
we are not serious?
225
00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:41,172
Maybe you should talk to them.Talk to those idiots? No!
226
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:43,957
Do they think creating wholesome
entertainment for families
227
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:45,263
is for sissies?
228
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:46,830
There's arts
and crafts,
229
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:49,006
there's nature hikes,
there's costume parties.
230
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:50,573
Let them try to keep track
231
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,836
of what is what
on Opposites Day.
232
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:53,837
Ooh, they will
233
00:08:53,881 --> 00:08:55,709
pay for this.
234
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,232
GRETCHEN:
Woo-hoo!
235
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,016
Lunchtime.
236
00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,583
Oh, Gretchen,
237
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:04,631
I did not mean
for you to see me in my fury.
238
00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:07,851
Otto, I love
your fury.
239
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:11,812
Isn't Otto's fury
magnificent, Francis?
240
00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:13,857
I try not to look at his fury.
241
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,816
If they tear this one down,
242
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:19,167
we will make them suffer
as they have never suffered.
243
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,735
Or, we might consider
trying to reach a compromise.
244
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:23,824
Do I look French to you? No!
245
00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:28,089
If it is a range war they want,
then by gosh, they will get one.
246
00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:31,135
They do not know
what they are up against.
247
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:34,530
MAN:
Nice job, son.
248
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,445
Thanks.Wait a minute.
249
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:37,968
Why are you giving
him five bucks?
250
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:39,274
Why?
251
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:41,015
This young man
cleaned out my gutters,
252
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:43,495
he sorted my recyclables,
and I didn't even ask him to.
253
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,497
You couldn't find a nicer kid.
254
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:46,629
I wish I could give him more.
255
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,718
Don't worry about it.
256
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,462
It can't be money day.
257
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:56,204
There is no money day.
258
00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:58,772
I would know about it
if there was a money day.
259
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:00,425
Unless...
260
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:04,125
maybe Mom and Dad don't want
me knowing about money day.
261
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,432
Excuse me.
262
00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:09,260
Beat it, kid, I'm trying
to figure something out.
263
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:11,045
Okay. Sorry.
264
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,829
I'll just rake around you.
265
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,794
His name is Billy Prescott.
266
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:21,795
I followed him home.
267
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,492
He lives, like,
a mile away from here.
268
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,711
He looks exactly like you.
269
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,234
You're lying.
Am I?
270
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:27,757
It's common knowledge, Dewey,
271
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,585
that every person
on this planet has an evil twin.
272
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,152
He's my evil twin?
273
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,109
Fat chance.
274
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:33,241
The guy's a saint.
275
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,546
You're his evil twin.
276
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:36,374
But I don't want
to be an evil twin.
277
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:37,724
I don't make the rules, Dewey.
278
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:41,118
Besides, we've been given
a golden opportunity here.
279
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,554
To do what?
280
00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:43,773
I don't know yet,
281
00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:45,688
but there's money
and an evil twin.
282
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,951
If we can't figure out
how to make this pay off,
283
00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:51,041
there is something
deeply wrong with us.
284
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:53,783
Come on, let's go watch
some soap operas.
285
00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:01,922
Things are going great
with Nicki.
286
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:04,533
We've gone to the planetarium,
miniature golf, the movies...
287
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:07,579
It's amazing how uncrowded
stuff is during school hours.
288
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,930
You know what? I'd better
get home. I'm grounded.
289
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:11,540
You're grounded?
Why didn't you tell me?
290
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:13,934
When my dad found out that
I cut English, he flipped out.
291
00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,500
You know what's funny?
292
00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:17,154
He thinks you're
a bad influence on me.
293
00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:19,548
That is hilarious.
Listen, Nicki...
294
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:21,855
He really doesn't like you.Why? What's wrong with me?
295
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,421
I never did anything to him.
296
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:24,988
Everybody doesn't
have to like you, Malcolm.
297
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:26,773
I know, but...
I like you,
298
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:29,340
and a lot of people
would think that's enough.
299
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,780
Get your
300
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,304
filthy mouth off
of my daughter's face!
301
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,001
Get in the truck.
302
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,655
What are you doing?
You're supposed to be at work!
303
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,831
Okay, hotshot,
304
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:44,616
consider this
your one and only warning.
305
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:46,880
You are never, ever
306
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:49,230
to see my daughter again,
you got that?!
307
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:50,797
No, Daddy,
take it back!
308
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,407
Take it back!
309
00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:53,800
I cannot believe
that you would come to the park
310
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:56,019
and you would
do this to me.
311
00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:58,892
Do you know how
embarrassing you are?
312
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:01,198
I'm okay... I'm okay.
313
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:03,810
I'm just going to lie down here
for a minute.
314
00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:06,682
[tires screeching,
truck departing]
315
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,640
[whimpering]
316
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:17,911
HAL:
Hey, honey.
317
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:18,912
Oh, I had a great day.
318
00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:20,783
You know, I was working
through lunch,
319
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,045
and Mr. Collins came by
320
00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:24,178
and he started asking me
about what I was doing...
321
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:25,919
I think I'm getting a raise!
322
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,008
Hal, that's wonderful.
323
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,226
I had a good day myself.
324
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:30,706
After I finished
washing the windows
325
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,273
and stripping the floors,
326
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:34,188
I went over our tax returns
for the last seven years.
327
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,232
We overpaid in '99.
328
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:36,016
You're kidding.
329
00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,234
$800.
330
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:38,801
The IRS is sending us a check.
331
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,934
Wow! Honey, great job!
332
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:44,851
You know, I got
to tell you, I think...
333
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,809
Is that the last one?
334
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:49,029
Mm-hmm.
335
00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:51,945
So we can...
336
00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:53,468
I guess so.
337
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:55,818
Great.
338
00:12:58,516 --> 00:12:59,604
Hey.
339
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:00,823
Stop! I talked to Nicki's father
340
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,433
and he told me what happened.
341
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:04,609
You are forbidden
from seeing that girl again.
342
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:05,915
Mom...Forbidden!
343
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,003
I told him you wouldn't
344
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,265
give him any more trouble,
understood?
345
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,093
Don't worry. The guy's a psycho.
346
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,094
And I think she is, too.
347
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,009
I'm totally
never seeing her again.
348
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,446
Good morning.
Hi.
349
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:16,839
Last night was great.
350
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:17,884
Yeah. Okay, I get
home at 3:00 today.
351
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,276
Dad gets home at 6:00.
352
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,061
Now, my little brother
is a total narc,
353
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,889
but we can send him to the
arcade till, like, 4:00.
354
00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,325
So we have...
No good.
355
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:25,848
I've got a chem lab
until, like, 3:30 on Wednesdays.
356
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,197
What about tomorrow?
357
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:28,416
No good. I can't
wait till tomorrow.
358
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,852
We got to think
of some...
359
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:30,897
What?
360
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,115
You can't wait till tomorrow?
361
00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:33,638
Shut up.
362
00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,466
Okay, we'll do it today
and we'll slide it an hour.
363
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:38,078
That's cutting it pretty close,
but I'll make it work.
364
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,079
We can make this work.
365
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,645
Dad.
Oh.
366
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,125
See you in math.
367
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,257
Okay.
368
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,911
I might need to see
the nurse first.
369
00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:47,478
DEWEY:
I don't want to do this.
370
00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:49,132
If you don't do it,
371
00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:51,004
I'm going to tell Mom
about you taking all that money.
372
00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:53,006
And you're going
to get a "me" punishment.
373
00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:54,964
Now get to work!
374
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:01,231
Hey!
375
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,973
What are you doing?!
376
00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:08,586
Yeah, you better run,
Billy Prescott!
377
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:11,894
All the way
to 1515 Cypress Street,
378
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:14,375
a block west of Halifax.
379
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:22,122
HAL: I'm glad that we decided
not to, uh...
380
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:24,037
Absolutely.
381
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,039
Every other aspect of our lives
is getting so much attention.
382
00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:27,910
Our lives are
so much better.
383
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,912
Do you think that's how really
successful people just...?
384
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:32,088
Can't think of any
other explanation.
385
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:33,394
No. So Bill Gates...?
386
00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:34,917
Probably never.
387
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,746
I started an herb garden
in the backyard today.
388
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:39,966
Did you know we
had a potting shed?
389
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:41,141
You're kidding.
390
00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,665
Oh, we are definitely
doing the right thing.
391
00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:47,408
I'll go sleep in the car.
392
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,323
Park it a couple
blocks away.
393
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:51,586
[calypso music playing]
394
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:53,980
This one is...
395
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:55,764
Ooh, be careful!
It might bite through!
396
00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:58,332
We have had some good ones
in the past, Francis,
397
00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:02,118
but this may be the
best pirate night ever.
398
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,645
What are you doing?!
399
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:08,995
Easy, Otto.
400
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:09,821
What do you think
401
00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:11,040
you are doing?
402
00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:12,128
We have a real
ranch to run,
403
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,869
and our cattle
need water.
404
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,088
We need that fence.
405
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:18,091
I will not allow you
to kill our horses.
406
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:20,180
Well, I'm not going to allow
you to kill our cattle!
407
00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:21,137
Enough talk.
408
00:15:21,181 --> 00:15:22,443
Gretchen, my gun!
409
00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:23,531
Which one?
410
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:24,619
Ooh, what am I saying?
411
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:26,316
The Luger, hmm?
412
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,796
Otto, this is nuts.
413
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:31,147
You will see
you are not dealing with a fool.
414
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:34,585
That fence is going up
twice as high!
415
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:36,544
We'll just tear it
back down again.
416
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:40,200
Then we will build another fence
50 feet high!
417
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,811
Every time you build it up,
we'll tear it down.
418
00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:46,597
Every time you tear it down,
we will build it up!
419
00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:50,036
Um, did it ever occur to anyone
to put in a gate?
420
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,039
A gate?
421
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:54,562
Hmm.
422
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,999
A gate would work.
423
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,001
♪ Shave his belly
with a rusty razor ♪
424
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,655
♪ Earl-aye in the morning
425
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,613
♪ Keep an eye
on your lonely bunkmate ♪
426
00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,920
♪ Keep an eye on
your lonely bunkmate... ♪
427
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,356
[movie playing]
428
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,445
Sorry.
429
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,447
I jumped in a line
at the mall to ditch my Dad,
430
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:12,275
and I ended up giving blood
at the Red Cross.
431
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:14,625
I told my Mom I was going
to the library tomorrow.
432
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,149
No, we aregoing to the library.
433
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:17,585
I thought we were going
to the church fair.
434
00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:19,152
No, the church fair is
next week.
435
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,457
It's just a cover
so we can meet at the lake.
436
00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:22,285
I thought the lake was a
cover for the bowling alley.
437
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:24,287
No, I'm supposed to be
at the bowling alley right now.
438
00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:25,680
This is crazy.
439
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:28,074
I know. Maybe it'll get crazier.
440
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:32,078
Oh, my God, my Dad!
441
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:34,428
BOYD:
You said you were going
442
00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:35,385
to the bowling alley!
443
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:36,865
NICKI:
I changed my mind!
444
00:16:36,908 --> 00:16:38,040
And why are you
following me?
445
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,520
Don't you trust me?Shh!
446
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,913
Don't you shush me!
447
00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:43,176
You'll learn to shush
448
00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:45,091
when someone is
shoving bamboo splinters
449
00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:47,267
under your fingernails
trying to get you
450
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:48,181
to rat out your company!
451
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:49,312
This is worth it.
452
00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:51,967
This is definitely worth it.
453
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:17,252
For the love of God.
454
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:22,084
Man, filling up that guy's car
with cement
455
00:17:22,127 --> 00:17:23,738
was a stroke of genius.
456
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:25,261
With Billy Prescott
as our fall guy,
457
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:26,915
we can do anything.
458
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:29,265
Now, I've updated
my enemies list.
459
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:32,747
Dewey?
460
00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:35,837
Dewey, I'm
talking to you.
461
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:40,929
Have you heard enough?
462
00:17:40,972 --> 00:17:42,800
Oh, yeah.
463
00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:46,978
Okay, now I know
what you're thinking.
464
00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:48,284
But the thing that
you don't realize
465
00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:51,157
is that... that I'm
not the real Reese.
466
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,116
I just look like me... him.
467
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,683
But if-if you hurt us...
468
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,076
I-I mean him...
469
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,992
Oh, just go ahead.
470
00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:04,300
[grunting]
471
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:13,135
Now that I've finished
the carpet,
472
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:14,789
we can insulate the attic.
473
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,269
I'm telling you, honey,
474
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,140
the value of this house
is going to triple.
475
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:20,969
We can retire early.
476
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,275
Lois,
477
00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,624
what have you planned?
478
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,191
Nothing.
479
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:28,281
Lois, we made an agreement.
480
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:29,325
Mm-hmm.
481
00:18:29,369 --> 00:18:31,022
Okay, okay.
482
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:32,850
You know, two have to play
at this game,
483
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,156
and I'm not playing.
484
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,028
I am just not playing!
485
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:41,163
So you think
that's going to work?
486
00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:43,644
Well, I've got news for you,
girlie girl.
487
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:46,603
I am made of sterner stuff.
488
00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:48,953
I happen to like my new life,
489
00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:52,827
and I am not about to descend
to your animal level.
490
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:55,438
Tool belt on.
491
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:58,093
[quiet whimper]
492
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,443
I've had it up to here
with your sneaking around.
493
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:02,663
You're never where you say
you're going to be.
494
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:04,665
You can't play me
for a fool, Nicki!
495
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,319
Dad, you are
being paranoid!
496
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:07,842
There is nothing
going on
497
00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:09,887
outside of your stupid,
little twisted head.
498
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,454
Well, if I find out
you've been lying,
499
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:14,327
there's going to be hell to pay.
500
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:22,248
Oh, are you okay?
501
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:23,858
I've lost all the feeling
in my arms,
502
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,076
but it's distracting me
503
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,469
from the searing pain
in my shoulders.
504
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:30,038
Poor baby.
505
00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:33,563
Listen, Nicki, I'm not sure
this is going to work.
506
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:35,130
What do you mean?
507
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,566
We do all of this stuff,
508
00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:39,265
sneaking around and making all
these complicated plans,
509
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,483
and it feels incredible.
510
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,094
I have never felt anything
so intense in my life,
511
00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:44,487
but, I mean, is that it?
512
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:45,880
What are you saying?
513
00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:48,361
We never do any normal
boyfriend/girlfriend stuff.
514
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,363
I don't know
anything about you,
515
00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:52,278
except that you really
get off on danger.
516
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:54,454
And apparently, I do, too.
517
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:56,238
I'm just not sure that's enough.
518
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,066
[scoffs]
519
00:19:58,109 --> 00:19:59,502
I think you
just insulted me.
520
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:01,809
No. I...Yes, you did!
521
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:03,419
Maybe you don't know
anything about me,
522
00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:05,943
but I actually bothered
to learn things about you.
523
00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:07,423
I don't like you
524
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,338
because I'm some
creepy danger junkie.
525
00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:11,471
I like you because you're
funny, and you're kind,
526
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,299
and you don't let me
get away with stuff.
527
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,388
And even when you
complain, you're funny,
528
00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:17,390
and I never have to think
about what I'm going
529
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,305
to say because it
just comes out.
530
00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:22,133
And it-it feels right,
and I feel safe.
531
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:23,657
Well, wait.
532
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,702
I like you because
you're really fun and honest.
533
00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,313
And I don't feel
534
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,140
like I'm being tricked
when you're nice to me.
535
00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:30,446
You're amazing with my friends.
536
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,666
You're amazing.
537
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:38,193
Okay, so this is real.
538
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,761
It's not just the danger
or whatever.
539
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:41,936
This is real.
540
00:20:41,979 --> 00:20:43,416
Duh.
541
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,462
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
542
00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:48,421
I love you.
543
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:50,249
Night, Daddy.
544
00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:01,434
HAL:
Oh, no.
545
00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:02,652
I'm late.
546
00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:03,740
Oh, me, too.
547
00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:05,220
Wait, there
was something
548
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,569
I was supposed to
do at work today.
549
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:08,354
Come home for lunch?
550
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:09,311
That's it.
551
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:10,530
[moaning]
552
00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:11,792
Got to go.
553
00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:13,184
Bye.
Bye.
36206
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