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1
00:00:06,282 --> 00:00:07,110
What?
2
00:00:08,111 --> 00:00:10,010
What?
3
00:00:11,252 --> 00:00:12,909
Okay, Iate the
cupcakes you baked
4
00:00:12,943 --> 00:00:14,876
for Dewey's class
last night.
5
00:00:16,464 --> 00:00:19,674
And I took Dad's license
to make a fake I.D.
6
00:00:20,779 --> 00:00:22,229
And I can't return
your necklace
7
00:00:22,263 --> 00:00:23,816
because I already sold it.
8
00:00:25,197 --> 00:00:26,405
I was just going to say
9
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,476
your shirt didn't go
with your pants.
10
00:00:28,511 --> 00:00:30,099
Oh.
11
00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:32,066
Phew!
12
00:00:32,101 --> 00:00:36,036
♪ Yes, no, maybe
13
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:38,176
♪ I don't know
14
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:41,455
♪ Can you repeat the question?
15
00:00:41,489 --> 00:00:43,664
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
16
00:00:43,698 --> 00:00:45,942
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
17
00:00:45,976 --> 00:00:47,530
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
18
00:00:47,564 --> 00:00:50,498
♪ And you're not so big
19
00:00:50,533 --> 00:00:53,087
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
20
00:00:53,122 --> 00:00:55,124
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
21
00:00:55,158 --> 00:00:57,057
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
22
00:00:57,091 --> 00:01:00,474
♪ And you're not so big
23
00:01:00,508 --> 00:01:04,063
♪ Life is unfair.
24
00:01:09,172 --> 00:01:10,449
Would you like some more
orange juice, Stevie?
25
00:01:10,484 --> 00:01:14,660
Thank you... Lois.
26
00:01:14,695 --> 00:01:16,490
Stevie's staying at our house
for a week
27
00:01:16,524 --> 00:01:18,008
while his parents are
in Hawaii.
28
00:01:18,043 --> 00:01:19,631
They get tropical drinks
on a beach
29
00:01:19,665 --> 00:01:22,151
while he gets to watch my dad
air-drying in the kitchen.
30
00:01:22,185 --> 00:01:23,669
Did everyone notice the way
31
00:01:23,704 --> 00:01:26,293
Stevie pre-sliced
the grapefruit sections?
32
00:01:26,327 --> 00:01:27,915
It's so nice to have
a boy in the house
33
00:01:27,949 --> 00:01:29,330
who's not
a rude little monster.
34
00:01:29,365 --> 00:01:31,056
Hey, was that shot at me?
35
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,575
Yes, honey, it was.
36
00:01:32,609 --> 00:01:34,473
Hal, I don't have any bread
for Dewey's sandwich.
37
00:01:34,508 --> 00:01:36,303
You're gonna have to stop by the
market on your way to school.
38
00:01:36,337 --> 00:01:37,200
No problem.
39
00:01:37,235 --> 00:01:38,063
Or you could
just give me
40
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,133
money for a hot lunch.
41
00:01:39,168 --> 00:01:40,238
Don't be silly.
42
00:01:40,272 --> 00:01:42,688
Those things aren't nutritious.
43
00:01:44,552 --> 00:01:46,416
Why are we in a liquor store?
44
00:01:46,451 --> 00:01:47,866
For the bread.
Everybody knows
45
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,212
liquor stores have
the best bread in town
46
00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:50,869
[whispers]: Ten lottery
tickets, please.
47
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,457
DEWEY:
I don't see any bread.
48
00:01:52,491 --> 00:01:54,114
What are you talking about?
There's melba toast.
49
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:55,598
If you can't make a
sandwich out of that,
50
00:01:55,632 --> 00:01:57,047
you're just not
trying hard enough.
51
00:01:57,082 --> 00:01:59,326
Oh, my God.
52
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:00,672
What?
53
00:02:00,706 --> 00:02:03,399
Dewey, I just won
a thousand dollars!
54
00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:05,021
A thousand dollars!
55
00:02:05,055 --> 00:02:06,678
Yes!
56
00:02:06,712 --> 00:02:07,713
[screaming]
57
00:02:07,748 --> 00:02:09,094
What are we going to buy?
58
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:11,614
We're not going to buy
anything with this, son.
59
00:02:11,648 --> 00:02:15,238
We're going to put this money
right into your college fund.
60
00:02:15,273 --> 00:02:19,173
A secret college fund that your
mother can never know about.
61
00:02:22,245 --> 00:02:25,386
Sometimes when it rains,
they get stuck.
62
00:02:25,421 --> 00:02:27,319
Here.
63
00:02:28,527 --> 00:02:29,770
Thanks.
64
00:02:29,804 --> 00:02:31,944
Uh, Malcolm, right?
65
00:02:31,979 --> 00:02:33,429
Yeah, and I know
you're Alison.
66
00:02:33,463 --> 00:02:34,878
I'm glad we finally talked
67
00:02:34,913 --> 00:02:36,811
after a month of
being locker neighbors.
68
00:02:36,846 --> 00:02:39,228
"Locker neighbors"?
69
00:02:39,262 --> 00:02:40,229
Yeah, we're...
70
00:02:40,263 --> 00:02:41,747
This is my locker.
71
00:02:41,782 --> 00:02:43,059
Oh! You-- locker neigh...
72
00:02:43,093 --> 00:02:45,026
'cause-'cause we're
right next door.
73
00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:46,269
Yeah, that-that's funny.
74
00:02:46,304 --> 00:02:47,960
I-I get it.
75
00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:49,203
[school bell ringing]
76
00:02:49,238 --> 00:02:51,309
Well, uh, see
you, neighbor.
77
00:02:51,343 --> 00:02:53,932
And keep your damn
dog off my lawn!
78
00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,935
I-I don't have a dog.
79
00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,593
No, no, I was kidding,
because we're neighbors
80
00:02:59,627 --> 00:03:01,215
and sometimes neighbors have
81
00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:03,113
a problem with
their dogs going...
82
00:03:03,148 --> 00:03:05,426
See, I always assume people
know when I'm kidding,
83
00:03:05,461 --> 00:03:07,083
but sometimes it's
just so subtle
84
00:03:07,117 --> 00:03:08,533
I come off sounding
like a jerk.
85
00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:10,086
I mean, not too
subtle for you.
86
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,468
I don't want to
sound condescending.
87
00:03:12,502 --> 00:03:14,608
It's just I think about
this kind of stuff a lot.
88
00:03:14,642 --> 00:03:17,231
And... I should have stopped
talking 30 seconds ago, right?
89
00:03:17,266 --> 00:03:20,683
Uh, I have to go to gym now.
90
00:03:26,654 --> 00:03:28,138
What is wrong with me?
91
00:03:28,173 --> 00:03:30,589
How long... you got?
92
00:03:30,624 --> 00:03:32,004
I always ruin
everything.
93
00:03:32,039 --> 00:03:33,765
Even with a perfect
girl like Alison.
94
00:03:33,799 --> 00:03:36,837
Alison's a moron.
95
00:03:36,871 --> 00:03:37,976
She's not the problem.
96
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,667
It's me.
I overthink everything.
97
00:03:39,702 --> 00:03:41,773
I can't even carry on
a normal conversation
98
00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:43,119
without screwing it up.
99
00:03:43,153 --> 00:03:45,225
Why won't my brain
just let me be happy?
100
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:48,883
[giggling]
101
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,507
Honey, I got
to get going.
102
00:03:51,541 --> 00:03:53,302
You heading down
to the art gallery?
103
00:03:53,336 --> 00:03:54,441
It's not art!
104
00:03:54,475 --> 00:03:56,166
Sorry. Heading down
to the place
105
00:03:56,201 --> 00:03:58,479
where you sell overpriced,
pretentious stuff
106
00:03:58,514 --> 00:04:00,619
to tourists with more money
than taste?
107
00:04:00,654 --> 00:04:03,208
You dolisten.
108
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,487
OTTO:
Thank you very much.
109
00:04:06,522 --> 00:04:10,215
It was good doing business
with you, Mr. Dodson.
110
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,941
Ah, Francis, come.
Meet Mr. Dodson.
111
00:04:11,975 --> 00:04:13,425
He is a wonderful man.
112
00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:16,428
We will be doing lots
of business with him for sure.
113
00:04:16,463 --> 00:04:18,119
Yeah, look, I got to go.
114
00:04:18,154 --> 00:04:19,949
Uh, I'm running late
for another sales call,
115
00:04:19,983 --> 00:04:21,261
so, uh, see you
gentlemen around.
116
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,331
We will talk soon.
117
00:04:22,365 --> 00:04:23,573
Ah, Francis.
118
00:04:23,608 --> 00:04:24,850
I am such a lucky man.
119
00:04:24,885 --> 00:04:26,611
When I left for
this country,
120
00:04:26,645 --> 00:04:29,821
all of my friends are warning
me, "Otto, Otto, be careful.
121
00:04:29,855 --> 00:04:32,237
People will try to take
advantage of you."
122
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,308
But this is
not the case.
123
00:04:34,343 --> 00:04:36,068
Like that Mr. Dodson.
124
00:04:36,103 --> 00:04:40,072
He knows so much more
about ranching than I do.
125
00:04:40,107 --> 00:04:44,214
But does he act all superior
and high and mighty?
126
00:04:44,249 --> 00:04:46,803
No! No! Instead,
he teaches me.
127
00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:49,254
Like before today,
I did not know
128
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,257
that cows need
ultraviolet protection.
129
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,258
What?
130
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,673
What is this stuff?
131
00:04:54,708 --> 00:04:55,847
Sunscreen.
132
00:04:55,881 --> 00:04:57,089
For cows.
133
00:04:58,263 --> 00:05:00,196
Otto, how much did you pay
for this?
134
00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:02,198
$200 a bucket,
plus, of course
135
00:05:02,232 --> 00:05:03,855
the zinc for their noses.
136
00:05:03,889 --> 00:05:05,857
[vehicle departing outside]
137
00:05:05,891 --> 00:05:07,341
Do not worry.
138
00:05:07,376 --> 00:05:09,412
I already paid him.
139
00:05:09,447 --> 00:05:12,173
How much time do I get
for a thousand bucks?
140
00:05:12,208 --> 00:05:14,210
Oh, Mama!
141
00:05:14,244 --> 00:05:16,246
I have been dreaming
about this for years.
142
00:05:16,281 --> 00:05:18,248
What? Are you crazy?
143
00:05:18,283 --> 00:05:20,872
We can't do it at my house.
My family's there.
144
00:05:20,906 --> 00:05:22,736
Uh, but there's a parking lot
145
00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:25,325
near my office
where we can meet.
146
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:28,224
That's your ground
speed indicator
147
00:05:28,258 --> 00:05:30,364
and that's your
vibration tachometer.
148
00:05:30,399 --> 00:05:31,434
Check.
149
00:05:31,469 --> 00:05:33,056
[laughs]:
Yes, sir!
150
00:05:33,091 --> 00:05:36,197
Can't wait to resurface
some roads with this baby.
151
00:05:36,232 --> 00:05:38,303
Wow, looks like you're all set.
152
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,892
Yes. Let me ask you
a hypothetical.
153
00:05:40,926 --> 00:05:45,275
I mean, if I was to accidentally
run over something--
154
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:47,208
I mean crush it into dust
155
00:05:47,243 --> 00:05:50,833
where they're completely
unrecognizable...
156
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,252
You'd want to center it
in the middle of the drum.
157
00:05:56,286 --> 00:06:00,083
That is, if such
a tragic incident should occur.
158
00:06:00,118 --> 00:06:01,395
Come again?
159
00:06:01,430 --> 00:06:03,432
Look, a lot of our, uh,
"road builders" have
160
00:06:03,466 --> 00:06:06,055
that inevitable fragile item
cross their paths.
161
00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:10,887
And if Iwere to encounter
such a fragile item...?
162
00:06:10,922 --> 00:06:12,648
You'd have no choice
but to speed up
163
00:06:12,682 --> 00:06:15,582
until that item no longer posed
a threat to your road building.
164
00:06:15,616 --> 00:06:18,170
Now sign here,
and you can get to work.
165
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,563
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
166
00:06:31,598 --> 00:06:33,634
[cackles]
167
00:06:33,669 --> 00:06:35,636
I can do better.
168
00:06:35,671 --> 00:06:38,432
Stevie, you are
such an angel.
169
00:06:38,467 --> 00:06:41,021
You are welcome to stay with us
any time your parents go away.
170
00:06:41,055 --> 00:06:42,471
Sure, Hawaii's great,
171
00:06:42,505 --> 00:06:44,369
but we're having fun
right here, huh?
172
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,233
Sure are.
173
00:06:46,267 --> 00:06:48,304
Hey! I didn't buy this.
174
00:06:48,338 --> 00:06:51,618
49 cents less.
175
00:06:51,652 --> 00:06:53,447
With lotion.
176
00:06:53,482 --> 00:06:55,725
Ooh!
177
00:06:56,623 --> 00:06:58,072
[Reese giggling]
178
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,009
Don't you have midterms
to study for, too?
179
00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:05,459
I think I have three tomorrow.
180
00:07:05,494 --> 00:07:06,840
Don't you even care
that if you don't study,
181
00:07:06,874 --> 00:07:07,806
you're going to fail.
182
00:07:07,841 --> 00:07:09,532
Nah.
183
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:11,534
How do you do that?
184
00:07:11,569 --> 00:07:12,604
What?
185
00:07:12,639 --> 00:07:14,123
How do you go through your life
186
00:07:14,157 --> 00:07:15,607
without worrying that bad things
are going to happen?
187
00:07:15,642 --> 00:07:16,850
I don't know.
188
00:07:16,884 --> 00:07:18,645
I guess if I feel myself
starting to worry,
189
00:07:18,679 --> 00:07:21,337
I just sing the Minty-Mint song
in my head.
190
00:07:21,371 --> 00:07:24,029
♪ They're cool, they're fresh,
they'll clean your breath ♪
191
00:07:24,064 --> 00:07:26,480
♪ Minty-Mints
are your breath's friend. ♪
192
00:07:26,515 --> 00:07:29,241
So, when I just asked you
that question about failing,
193
00:07:29,276 --> 00:07:30,864
you were thinking about
that song?
194
00:07:30,898 --> 00:07:32,659
Yep.
LOIS: Boys, for
the last time,
195
00:07:32,693 --> 00:07:36,283
get in here, and help me
with these groceries now!
196
00:07:37,733 --> 00:07:41,495
♪ Minty-Mints
are your breath's friend. ♪
197
00:07:41,530 --> 00:07:43,221
[chuckles]
198
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,257
Reese, you're a genius.
199
00:07:45,292 --> 00:07:46,983
What?
That girl, Alison,
just asked me
200
00:07:47,018 --> 00:07:49,503
why everyone in the world
has accents except for us.
201
00:07:49,538 --> 00:07:51,540
And instead of going into
this long explanation,
202
00:07:51,574 --> 00:07:53,058
I thought of the
Minty-Mint song.
203
00:07:53,093 --> 00:07:54,819
And all that came
out of my mouth was,
204
00:07:54,853 --> 00:07:56,752
"Because they're weird,"
and she liked it.
205
00:07:56,786 --> 00:07:59,030
Cool.
I could actually feel
my brain click off.
206
00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:01,584
She said I was cute, and
then she touched my shoulder.
207
00:08:01,619 --> 00:08:04,518
Let's keep this
in the family, understand?
208
00:08:04,553 --> 00:08:06,106
Hey, here she comes.
209
00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:08,522
Oh, man.
I just did it once.
210
00:08:08,557 --> 00:08:10,110
What if it was
all just a fluke?
211
00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:11,870
You'll be fine.I'm too new at this.
212
00:08:11,905 --> 00:08:13,078
Just relax.But...
213
00:08:13,113 --> 00:08:15,460
Just say what I say.
214
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,565
Hey, Malcolm.
215
00:08:16,599 --> 00:08:19,740
I-I forgot to
ask you something.
216
00:08:19,775 --> 00:08:21,017
Hmm...
217
00:08:21,052 --> 00:08:22,605
Are you okay?
218
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,745
Do you need to get
to class or something?
219
00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:26,402
[indistinct whispering]
220
00:08:26,436 --> 00:08:28,922
No, I'm just killing time
till lunch.
221
00:08:28,956 --> 00:08:30,648
Oh, I know what you mean.
222
00:08:30,682 --> 00:08:33,063
These mornings
can just drag on.
223
00:08:33,097 --> 00:08:36,549
[indistinct whispering]
224
00:08:36,585 --> 00:08:38,068
School's for suckers.
225
00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:40,416
It's just some scam
thought up by parents
226
00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:43,073
so they can stay home all day
and party hearty.
227
00:08:43,107 --> 00:08:46,180
Oh, my God. I've
thought the same thing.
228
00:08:46,215 --> 00:08:49,943
[indistinct whispering]
229
00:08:49,977 --> 00:08:52,152
I, uh...
230
00:08:54,119 --> 00:08:56,881
I think it'd be cool
if they took the one-dollar bill
231
00:08:56,915 --> 00:08:59,228
and changed it
to the million-dollar bill.
232
00:08:59,262 --> 00:09:02,576
That way, nobody would be poor,
and we'd all be millionaires.
233
00:09:02,611 --> 00:09:03,991
That is such a cool idea.
234
00:09:04,026 --> 00:09:05,890
I want to help
poor people, too.
235
00:09:05,924 --> 00:09:08,030
What I wanted
to ask you is, um,
236
00:09:08,064 --> 00:09:11,447
do you want to go to the
dance with me on Friday?
237
00:09:11,481 --> 00:09:12,862
Yeah! I was waiting to ask you,
238
00:09:12,897 --> 00:09:14,726
but I wanted to find
the right time, and the...
239
00:09:14,761 --> 00:09:15,796
[indistinct whispering]
240
00:09:15,831 --> 00:09:17,177
Uh, awesome.
241
00:09:17,211 --> 00:09:19,455
Awesome.
242
00:09:19,489 --> 00:09:21,491
I... I got to get to class.
243
00:09:21,526 --> 00:09:22,423
Me, too.
244
00:09:23,804 --> 00:09:26,013
♪
245
00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:33,158
[bubble wrap popping]
246
00:09:36,645 --> 00:09:38,474
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
247
00:09:38,508 --> 00:09:40,269
[glass shattering]
248
00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:48,070
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
249
00:09:48,104 --> 00:09:50,590
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
250
00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:56,147
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
251
00:09:56,181 --> 00:09:58,528
DEWEY:
"College fund"?
252
00:10:00,461 --> 00:10:02,256
Dewey! Hi.
253
00:10:02,291 --> 00:10:04,534
What brings you out
on such a lovely day?
254
00:10:04,569 --> 00:10:08,469
I was following my dad
on his secret steamroller.
255
00:10:08,504 --> 00:10:09,885
Oh, it's not just
a steamroller, son.
256
00:10:09,919 --> 00:10:12,025
This is a culmination
of everything
257
00:10:12,059 --> 00:10:14,130
I've worked for
in my entire life.
258
00:10:14,165 --> 00:10:16,305
AndI've also
managed to put away
259
00:10:16,339 --> 00:10:17,686
some money for your college.
260
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,515
Which, if interest rates
hold... Oh, all right!
261
00:10:19,549 --> 00:10:22,104
If you don't tell your mother,
I'll let you squash something.
262
00:10:22,138 --> 00:10:23,726
Can I squash Reese's bike?
263
00:10:23,761 --> 00:10:25,694
Sure.
264
00:10:25,728 --> 00:10:27,696
It's in the trunk.
265
00:10:34,323 --> 00:10:36,463
[Malcolm making revving sounds]
266
00:10:38,396 --> 00:10:39,984
You want to know what's great?
267
00:10:40,018 --> 00:10:41,123
Not thinking so much.
268
00:10:41,157 --> 00:10:42,572
It's cool.
269
00:10:42,607 --> 00:10:45,127
Usually I'd be all stressed out
like Stevie.
270
00:10:45,161 --> 00:10:47,992
But I figure life should be--
what's the word?
271
00:10:48,026 --> 00:10:49,200
Funner.
272
00:10:49,234 --> 00:10:53,687
What'd you get
for problem... 17?
273
00:10:53,722 --> 00:10:54,688
[makes screeching brake sound]
274
00:10:54,723 --> 00:10:56,207
I drew a tank.
275
00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:58,692
What's wrong... with you?
276
00:10:58,727 --> 00:10:59,486
Huh?
277
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:00,694
For two days,
278
00:11:00,729 --> 00:11:03,490
you've been acting
like an idiot.
279
00:11:03,524 --> 00:11:04,871
No. For two days,
280
00:11:04,905 --> 00:11:08,495
I've acted like someone
who's happy and relaxed.
281
00:11:08,529 --> 00:11:09,738
You're turning into Reese.
282
00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:11,498
So? I'm not stressing
out about school
283
00:11:11,532 --> 00:11:12,602
and girls and stuff.
284
00:11:12,637 --> 00:11:14,018
That doesn't make me
an idiot.
285
00:11:14,052 --> 00:11:15,813
That makes me
the opposite of an idiot.
286
00:11:15,847 --> 00:11:18,367
The brain is a muscle.
287
00:11:18,401 --> 00:11:20,438
Use it or lose it.
288
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,164
But maybe if you
use it too much,
289
00:11:22,198 --> 00:11:23,441
it'll cramp up on you.
290
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,408
Didn't think about
that, did you?
291
00:11:25,443 --> 00:11:26,547
[gasps]
292
00:11:26,582 --> 00:11:29,171
Malcolm?
293
00:11:29,205 --> 00:11:30,828
[chuckles]:
I fell.
294
00:11:30,862 --> 00:11:33,485
[groaning goofily]
295
00:11:37,869 --> 00:11:39,284
Who do you think
invented the spoon?
296
00:11:39,319 --> 00:11:40,285
Paleo...
297
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,770
Spoony Spoonicus.
298
00:11:41,804 --> 00:11:43,219
[both laugh]
299
00:11:44,289 --> 00:11:45,532
Spoony Spoonicus.
300
00:11:45,566 --> 00:11:47,292
That is so awesome.
301
00:11:47,327 --> 00:11:49,570
[whispering]: You're supposed
to take me ice-skating today.
302
00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:50,951
Where were you?
303
00:11:50,986 --> 00:11:53,022
I'm sorry, Dewey.
I got stuck at the office.
304
00:11:53,057 --> 00:11:54,299
So, Hal, I called
the office today
305
00:11:54,334 --> 00:11:55,335
and they said you took
the whole day off.
306
00:11:55,369 --> 00:11:56,785
That's right.
307
00:11:56,819 --> 00:11:57,924
I spent the whole day
ice-skating with Dewey.
308
00:11:57,958 --> 00:11:59,235
Oh, you should see the boy,
Lois.
309
00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:02,135
Twirling and jumping
on that ice.
310
00:12:02,169 --> 00:12:03,377
He did a double axel
311
00:12:03,412 --> 00:12:05,241
that was, quite frankly,
exquisite.
312
00:12:05,276 --> 00:12:07,278
Hal, we've got
to go over
313
00:12:07,312 --> 00:12:08,728
next month's budget tonight.
314
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,315
Oh, I can't tonight, honey.
315
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:12,110
I have to go into the office
to make up for the time
316
00:12:12,145 --> 00:12:13,456
I missed with Dewey.
317
00:12:13,491 --> 00:12:15,286
Yeah, the office.
318
00:12:16,666 --> 00:12:19,980
Can't get enough
of the good ol' office.
319
00:12:20,015 --> 00:12:22,362
[phone rings]
320
00:12:22,396 --> 00:12:23,812
Hello?
321
00:12:23,846 --> 00:12:25,261
Malcolm, good, you're home.
Listen.
322
00:12:25,296 --> 00:12:26,884
Is there some scientific way
to find out
323
00:12:26,918 --> 00:12:29,093
if something is pudding
without actually tasting it?
324
00:12:29,127 --> 00:12:30,404
Is it chocolate?
325
00:12:30,439 --> 00:12:31,785
No. Why, would that make
a difference?
326
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:33,097
I like chocolate.
327
00:12:33,131 --> 00:12:34,961
It's browner than
the not-chocolate stuff.
328
00:12:34,995 --> 00:12:38,688
You didn't by any chance
find that coffee can
329
00:12:38,723 --> 00:12:41,036
in the garage, did you?
330
00:12:43,659 --> 00:12:45,143
You're going
to the steamroller,
331
00:12:45,178 --> 00:12:46,489
aren't you?
332
00:12:46,524 --> 00:12:47,974
So what if I am? I rented it.
333
00:12:48,008 --> 00:12:50,183
Why shouldn't I get to use it?
It's a free country.
334
00:12:50,217 --> 00:12:52,633
Dad, you've been crushing things
for five days straight.
335
00:12:52,668 --> 00:12:53,703
Have you even slept?
336
00:12:53,738 --> 00:12:54,912
That's the thing, Dewey.
337
00:12:54,946 --> 00:12:56,603
Ever since I got
the steamroller,
338
00:12:56,637 --> 00:12:58,156
I don't have to sleep.
339
00:12:58,191 --> 00:12:59,986
It's like the laws of
nature don't apply to me.
340
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,573
What's this?
341
00:13:01,608 --> 00:13:04,818
Nothing.
It's a brochure
for a wrecking ball.
342
00:13:04,853 --> 00:13:06,475
It's not even mine, okay?
343
00:13:06,509 --> 00:13:08,649
I'm just holding it
for a friend.
344
00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:11,376
Dad, I think you have
a problem.
345
00:13:11,411 --> 00:13:13,620
Why can't everyone
just leave me alone?!
346
00:13:19,902 --> 00:13:21,801
Check out
this awesome story.
347
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,043
So I thought
I was going
348
00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:24,804
to borrow Reese's
tuxedo T-shirt
349
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,668
for the dance tonight, but
then I saw one at the mall
350
00:13:27,703 --> 00:13:30,188
that said, "FBI--
Federal Booby Inspector."
351
00:13:30,223 --> 00:13:32,190
Federal Booby Inspector!
352
00:13:32,225 --> 00:13:33,640
Awesome.
353
00:13:33,674 --> 00:13:36,125
You... the man.
354
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,541
Malcolm, I know I promised
you the tuxedo shirt,
355
00:13:38,576 --> 00:13:42,200
but I saw this at the mall,
and I think it's way better.
356
00:13:42,235 --> 00:13:43,477
Oh, my God!
357
00:13:43,512 --> 00:13:44,720
I was going to buy this
after school!
358
00:13:44,754 --> 00:13:46,446
No way!
Righteous!
359
00:13:47,896 --> 00:13:51,037
Whoa. Stevie, you got to let
Reese head-butt you.
360
00:13:51,071 --> 00:13:52,314
It's like getting hit
in the head
361
00:13:52,348 --> 00:13:53,384
with something really hard.
362
00:13:53,418 --> 00:13:56,939
Not... in this... lifetime.
363
00:13:56,974 --> 00:13:58,320
Your call.
364
00:13:58,354 --> 00:13:59,700
Maybe we'll do one later
at the dance.
365
00:13:59,735 --> 00:14:01,979
Go... with you?
366
00:14:02,013 --> 00:14:03,739
Ha...
367
00:14:03,773 --> 00:14:06,846
ha...
368
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:07,950
ha.
369
00:14:07,985 --> 00:14:08,951
Come on, Stevie.
370
00:14:08,986 --> 00:14:10,194
You got to come with us.
371
00:14:10,228 --> 00:14:11,851
We're like the Three Musketeers.
372
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,025
You can't have
the Three Musketeers without...
373
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:14,992
what's his name.
374
00:14:15,026 --> 00:14:16,683
Nougat.
Yeah, that dude.
375
00:14:16,717 --> 00:14:20,204
I'll be quilting.
376
00:14:20,238 --> 00:14:22,068
Fabrizzi's a master.
377
00:14:22,102 --> 00:14:24,035
The desert
is practically alive.
378
00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:27,245
It looks like the dolphin
and the tiger are dancing.
379
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,764
Could I get this picture
380
00:14:28,798 --> 00:14:31,249
but with my husband's face
where the dolphin is?
381
00:14:31,284 --> 00:14:32,906
Well, like all
great artists,
382
00:14:32,941 --> 00:14:35,426
he'll do absolutely
anything for money.
383
00:14:36,703 --> 00:14:37,704
[panting]
384
00:14:37,738 --> 00:14:38,808
Oh, my God!
385
00:14:38,843 --> 00:14:40,293
Francis, what happened?
386
00:14:40,327 --> 00:14:42,571
You are going
to be so proud of me.
387
00:14:42,605 --> 00:14:44,400
I was putting gas
in the van,
388
00:14:44,435 --> 00:14:46,782
and this guy walked
out of the men's room.
389
00:14:46,816 --> 00:14:48,439
The sunscreen guy!
390
00:14:48,473 --> 00:14:49,923
And when I saw,
391
00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:51,718
it was like I became
this wild animal.
392
00:14:51,752 --> 00:14:52,961
Like nature took over.
393
00:14:52,995 --> 00:14:55,722
I ran up to him
and I blindsided him
394
00:14:55,756 --> 00:14:57,344
with the windshield-wiper
squeegee,
395
00:14:57,379 --> 00:14:58,794
and his Big Gulp went flying
396
00:14:58,828 --> 00:15:00,520
and he was crying
for his mother!
397
00:15:00,554 --> 00:15:02,246
Do you want
to see his front tooth?
398
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,730
You know what?
I'm going to think about it
399
00:15:03,764 --> 00:15:06,146
and maybe come back
another time.
400
00:15:06,181 --> 00:15:07,941
Why are you whistling?
401
00:15:07,976 --> 00:15:09,011
Honey, listen.
402
00:15:09,046 --> 00:15:10,633
I really want to
hear about this,
403
00:15:10,668 --> 00:15:13,188
but I kind of told my boss
I'm not trailer trash,
404
00:15:13,222 --> 00:15:14,810
and you're blowing
my cover.
405
00:15:14,844 --> 00:15:16,950
These little cuts
and bruises?
406
00:15:16,985 --> 00:15:20,850
These here are the symbols
of my success.
407
00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:22,266
I mean, the guy took
some convincing,
408
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:23,784
but in the end,
409
00:15:23,819 --> 00:15:26,546
the money was
cheerfully refunded.
410
00:15:26,580 --> 00:15:30,067
Is there supposed to be
this much blood in my pocket?
411
00:15:30,101 --> 00:15:31,896
Okay, you're going
to the emergency room.
412
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:35,141
♪
413
00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:40,836
Want some punch?
414
00:15:40,870 --> 00:15:42,769
If I say yes,
you're just going to hit me.
415
00:15:42,803 --> 00:15:44,495
I'm going
to hit you anyway,
416
00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:46,773
but it's funnier
if you say yes first.
417
00:15:46,807 --> 00:15:48,499
So what do you
like better,
418
00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:50,570
slow dancing
or fast dancing?
419
00:15:50,604 --> 00:15:53,745
Slow dancing.
420
00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:55,264
Me, too.
421
00:15:55,299 --> 00:15:58,543
Unless the fast dance
song, like, really rocks.
422
00:15:58,578 --> 00:15:59,855
Yeah.
423
00:15:59,889 --> 00:16:02,685
I can't believe
the awesomeness
424
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,585
of how awesome this is.
425
00:16:05,619 --> 00:16:08,760
At Cheswick Grounds,
Britain's largest public lawn,
426
00:16:08,795 --> 00:16:10,866
each blade of grass
is said to grow
427
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,626
a full centimeter a day.
428
00:16:12,661 --> 00:16:14,111
Let's watch.
429
00:16:17,114 --> 00:16:18,667
Stevie, what are you doing here?
430
00:16:18,701 --> 00:16:19,668
I thought you're going
to the dance with the boys.
431
00:16:19,702 --> 00:16:22,636
I didn't want...
to go.
432
00:16:24,742 --> 00:16:27,296
Stevie, you listen to me.
433
00:16:27,331 --> 00:16:29,091
Just because you're in
a wheelchair
434
00:16:29,126 --> 00:16:31,611
doesn't mean you can't
enjoy a dance like anyone else.
435
00:16:31,645 --> 00:16:33,958
I think you are a fine young man
with beautiful qualities
436
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,028
that any girl would enjoy
437
00:16:35,063 --> 00:16:36,512
if you just put yourself
out there.
438
00:16:36,547 --> 00:16:38,376
But...
There are plenty
of things you can do.
439
00:16:38,411 --> 00:16:40,033
You can snap your fingers
to the beat.
440
00:16:40,068 --> 00:16:41,828
You can spin around
in a circle.
441
00:16:41,862 --> 00:16:43,140
That would be adorable.
442
00:16:43,174 --> 00:16:44,555
Please...Stevie, any girl would be lucky
443
00:16:44,589 --> 00:16:46,005
to be your girlfriend.
444
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,730
You're polite,
you're considerate,
445
00:16:47,765 --> 00:16:49,111
and you are very clean.
446
00:16:49,146 --> 00:16:50,354
Girls go crazy for that.
447
00:16:50,388 --> 00:16:51,803
Lois...Stevie, you know what?
448
00:16:51,838 --> 00:16:53,771
We're going to that dance.
449
00:16:54,668 --> 00:16:56,153
Francis,
450
00:16:56,187 --> 00:16:58,465
what happened to you?
451
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:00,674
Otto, I have to tell you
something.
452
00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:03,712
There is no such thing
as sunscreen for cows.
453
00:17:03,746 --> 00:17:05,058
What are you
talking about?
454
00:17:05,093 --> 00:17:06,887
The guy, he was
ripping you off.
455
00:17:06,922 --> 00:17:08,924
But don't worry,
I took care of it.
456
00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:10,580
I got you your money back.
457
00:17:10,615 --> 00:17:13,308
Ugh! I am such an idiot.
458
00:17:13,342 --> 00:17:17,069
It is my fault
you had to fight.
459
00:17:17,105 --> 00:17:18,484
I'm sorry. And thank you.
460
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:19,486
It's okay.
461
00:17:19,521 --> 00:17:20,729
You know what?
462
00:17:20,762 --> 00:17:22,731
There is a man
in my office right now,
463
00:17:22,765 --> 00:17:24,940
and I am suspicious
of him, too.
464
00:17:24,973 --> 00:17:27,079
Come, you will meet him.
465
00:17:28,425 --> 00:17:32,568
Okay, show my friend here
what you are selling me.
466
00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:35,709
This here's a magic stick.
It finds water.
467
00:17:39,644 --> 00:17:40,680
Oh, yeah.
468
00:17:40,714 --> 00:17:42,095
I've seen these.
469
00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:45,064
It's got the good
Swenson bevel on there.
470
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,686
Yeah, these are great.
471
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,032
I don't know.
472
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,103
I guess I'd say
I like curly fries better.
473
00:17:50,138 --> 00:17:51,277
Ha, I knew it.
474
00:17:51,311 --> 00:17:52,899
You totally owe me
a buck, Malcolm.
475
00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:54,521
What about Cajun curly fries?
476
00:17:54,556 --> 00:17:55,695
Oh, my God!
477
00:17:55,729 --> 00:17:57,386
I completely forgot
about those.
478
00:17:57,421 --> 00:17:58,801
Thoseare my favorite.
479
00:17:58,836 --> 00:18:00,527
Mine, too.
480
00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:02,909
Why can't they make
more foods curly?
481
00:18:02,943 --> 00:18:05,360
You guys are, like,
the coolest brothers.
482
00:18:05,394 --> 00:18:07,603
I mean, you're both
so easy to talk to.
483
00:18:07,638 --> 00:18:09,950
It's not like
a strain or anything.
484
00:18:09,985 --> 00:18:11,711
Yeah, Reese and I get along
awesome.
485
00:18:11,745 --> 00:18:13,230
It's 'cause
you're so alike.
486
00:18:13,264 --> 00:18:15,301
You should totally check
to make sure
487
00:18:15,335 --> 00:18:17,199
you're not, like, twins
or something.
488
00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:19,201
I'll ask my mom
when I get home.
489
00:18:19,236 --> 00:18:21,203
I just got
a really good idea.
490
00:18:21,238 --> 00:18:23,585
I know this senior
who's got some beer stashed.
491
00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:24,793
No way.
492
00:18:24,827 --> 00:18:26,139
We can grab a six pack
and a blanket
493
00:18:26,174 --> 00:18:27,554
and go down
to the football field.
494
00:18:27,589 --> 00:18:29,453
Awesome.
495
00:18:29,487 --> 00:18:32,663
I can't believe
I'm about to do this.
496
00:18:32,697 --> 00:18:34,561
Underage drinking,
making out with a girl
497
00:18:34,596 --> 00:18:36,563
where we're almost
certain to get caught.
498
00:18:36,598 --> 00:18:39,256
High school rules!
499
00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:43,260
[cackling]
500
00:18:43,294 --> 00:18:46,677
I am Hal!
501
00:18:46,711 --> 00:18:48,575
[laughs]
502
00:18:56,687 --> 00:19:00,863
Oh... maybe just one row.
503
00:19:02,658 --> 00:19:04,695
[laughing]
504
00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:11,943
Get away from here, son!
505
00:19:11,978 --> 00:19:14,256
I don't want you to see me
like this!
506
00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:16,672
Dad, you have to stop!
507
00:19:16,707 --> 00:19:18,329
I can't!
508
00:19:48,946 --> 00:19:50,775
I'm proud of you, Dad.
509
00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:54,814
So what yard line
do you want to sit on?
510
00:19:54,848 --> 00:19:56,471
'Cause I was
thinking the 50.
511
00:19:56,505 --> 00:19:58,197
But it's kind
of a long walk.
512
00:19:58,231 --> 00:19:59,888
There's nothing to be nervous
about, Stevie.
513
00:19:59,922 --> 00:20:02,062
I'll dance the first
couple of dances with you.
514
00:20:05,169 --> 00:20:06,377
Hey, stop blaming yourself!
515
00:20:06,412 --> 00:20:08,448
That guy's a complete jerk.
516
00:20:08,483 --> 00:20:10,657
We're going to throw
away his beer, get
someone to take you home,
517
00:20:10,692 --> 00:20:12,728
and you should
totally dump that guy.
518
00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:16,215
That's what I would have done
519
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:18,527
if I hadn't shut off my brain
all week.
520
00:20:20,495 --> 00:20:22,359
Here's what I really did.
521
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:36,304
♪ Minty Mints are
your breath's friend. ♪
522
00:20:36,338 --> 00:20:39,030
My mom said
you asked for this.
523
00:20:39,065 --> 00:20:42,379
How's my gal?
524
00:20:42,413 --> 00:20:44,104
I don't know.
She won't stop screaming.
525
00:20:44,139 --> 00:20:45,934
She hasn't even seen
my report card yet.
526
00:20:45,968 --> 00:20:47,280
The way I figure it,
527
00:20:47,315 --> 00:20:49,386
I have to average
an 8.0 just to break even.
528
00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:52,181
Which might be doable since I
don't have distractions anymore.
529
00:20:52,216 --> 00:20:54,529
Alison dumped me as soon as
I used the word "paradox"
530
00:20:54,563 --> 00:20:55,633
in a sentence.
531
00:20:55,668 --> 00:20:57,186
Welcome back.
532
00:20:57,221 --> 00:21:00,224
Sorry about Alison.
533
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,536
It's no big deal.
534
00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:04,228
I'm still going to be
seeing her around a lot.
535
00:21:06,472 --> 00:21:08,784
You know what I don't
get about football?
536
00:21:08,819 --> 00:21:11,580
How come the away team has
so many different uniforms?
537
00:21:11,615 --> 00:21:13,858
I don't know.
Rich kids.
538
00:21:13,893 --> 00:21:15,515
Probably it.
539
00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:18,760
You want to make out?Do you? Sure.
35480
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