Original subtitles

Train now leaving.

Destination... Kansas city, Independence, Lee's Summit,

Warrensburg, Sedalia, Jefferson City, Kirkwood,

St. Louis, East St. Louis, Centralia, Effingham,

Terre Haute, Indianapolis.

When the two soldiers boarded the train at St. Louis,

they caught one another's eyes for a moment in a mutually questioning gaze

that broke off teasingly the short of recognition.

Like a dream not quite recalled.

All aboard! All aboard!

I'm so sorry.

Here, let me.

I'm so sorry.

It's OK.

Excuse me, sir.

Hey, gimme a bud, will you?

Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

Thank you.

Here you are, sir.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Hey... Indianapolis.

Am I right?

Shortly high?

Yeah, Short... Yeah, I went there.

Yeah. That's what I thought.

Tom Casselman, class of'48.

Sure. Gunner. Hell, everybody knows you.

Yeah. How are you?

Have... a seat.

And you're, um...

Willard Burns.

You're "Sonny" Burns.

- Right? Yeah! - Right. That's what they called me.

Yeah. I remember you.

You're the photographer, right? Took pictures for The Daily Echo.

Yeah, just sports stuff, you know.

You might've seen it. Actually, I got...

There was one of you in particular.

It was in... You were scoring in the Southport game.

Right. I remember that. That's a great picture.

Yeah. Action stuff, Right?

Damn good, too. Damn good stuff.

Yeah. This is great, running into you.

Yeah?

Yeah. As a matter of fact, I've been...

Well, I've been doing a little photography myself.

I picked me up a Nikon over in Japan and...

I mean, I'm not worth a damn yet...

post card shots and tourist crap...

but I wanna learn. Here you go.

- Thank you. - Sure.

So, um...

Korea? You must've seen some combat.

Yeah.

You know, I caught a little shrapnel in the ass is all.

Yeah. I didn't... you know, I didn't really...

Got stuck in Kansas City. Public Information.

Good conduct.

Well, hey, you know, somebody's gotta hold down the fort, right?

Exactly. That'd be me.

You know what? There's really only one thing you missed.

Yeah? What's that?

Japan.

- Yeah? - Yeah?

You really liked it?

God. I mean, it...

it changed my whole approach.

Right. Sure. To what?

Everything, you know? You name it.

I mean, I never really...

Hell, I never really thought about anything before I went to Japan.

I mean, in college, I memorized stuff,

but I mean really think, you know? Question.

I mean, take your Zen Buddhism, OK?

They got these riddles,

and they really make you think about things differently.

Do you know any zen?

Well, I had some sukiyaki once. You know...

in Chicago.

Well...

you ever have any sake?

Not that I know of.

As they polished off the saki,

Gunner told Sonny that he wanted to go ahead and look at everything fresh.

What good, he said,

was a culture built on neon lights and Hollywood movies.

On Sunday church piety in weekday business hypocrisy.

He sounded like a damn radical,

which seemed unfair to Sonny.

He figured a guy like him should be the radical,

fighting the gunners of the world who had everything.

They had more saki.

Gunner got going on Japan again.

Sonny was beginning to see green purple spots.

Fucking, maybe, in the right direction.

- Last stop! - Feel like I got hit by a truck.

Indianapolis!

You know...

we should get together some time? No shit.

Yeah, that'd be great. Fantastic.

You got a lift home?

Yeah. Yeah, I think... my mother's picking me up.

Christ died for our sins!

Communism is the religion of failures!

Christ died for our sins!

Communism is the religion of failures!

Gunner!

Hey, see you later, all right?

All right.

Gunner!

Gunner!

Gunner!

Ha ha ha!

There he is! Sonny!

It's Sonny!

Sonny! Sonny!

You're home!

- Welcome home, son. - Thank you, sir.

We thank you, Lord, for protecting this dear child

and for bringing him home safe...

from the horrors of war.

Mother, I was only in Kansas City.

There's danger everywhere.

- We're in a "no parking" zone, folks. - Elwood.

Your father... such a worry wart.

Come on.

I almost forgot. We have a surprise for you.

What's the surprise?

Well, it's not a surprise if I tell you.

Come on!

Surprise! Ha ha!

Hello!

There she is!

Welcome home!

Give your best girl a kiss.

Sonny?

As he looked around his room,

Sonny thought about the conversation he had with Gunner

on the train.

He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment,

thinking,

what a fool he'd been to imagine a big rod like that

would want anything to do with a nobody like him.

When he thought about it soberly,

it was obvious that Gunner was bored

and would have talked to anyone and that Sonny was merely handy.

And when he suggested that they get together some time,

he was just being polite.

Got you a little treat, honey.

Sweet dreams.

Fuck you, God.

You could have knocked him over with a feather when Gunner phoned the next day.

And asked to meet him someplace.

Hey!

- How you doin'? - Yo man.

- Good to see you. - Good to see you.

Russ, we'll have a couple of beers over here.

Yeah.

Tell you,

you would never see that in the Pam.

What's that?

Woman drunk like that, all over the bar.

No shit.

Orange is just, it's really just an infantile culture

compared to them in many ways, you know?

I mean, we're just, I don't know.

I spent two days in a Zen monastery once, right?

You know what they do there? Nothing silent.

They're just quiet all the time.

They understand that.

They appreciate the beauty in that. They recognize that.

And we just, you know,

they don't do this like, raw raw beat the other guy, you know?

Horseshit. We just wear a horseshit culture in many ways. You know what I'm saying?

You know? You saw it shortly. I don't have to tell you.

Yeah. Right. I saw what?

The jock hierarchy, the big rod system,

the social climate, everybody maneuvering,

everybody trying to get one up on each other.

I don't have to tell you.

You knew it. Didn't you?

You were just a detached observer, sat back...

laughing at us and we ran around...

chasing each other's tails, like much of dumbasses, right?

Yeah. No, I don't try.

I got you figured out. I know.

That's all right. I mean, you know, it wasn't bothered me.

It's college too, right?

You didn't go for that fraternity shit. You didn't go great.

All right.

Wow. It's independent.

I knew it.

I don't see it that way, you know?

To me, all those years, it's like...

wasted.

All that time, it just seems like it was flushed away...

jockin' around and acting like I knew it all...

and being a big rod and...

- I must've seemed like a real asshole. - You know, that's all right.

I mean, now I get to thinking about how I was back then.

It's embarrassing.

You know what I mean?

Really, there were a lot of times when I felt like, myself...

Lock up the women and children! Gunner!

Come on,

Hey, you old cocks man!

You old jocks can still hit the ball?

Shit, man. We're 5-2, and leading the league.

Now, he's just bored too, yeah?

Well, you guys remember Sonny Burns.

Sonny, you know this bunch of muff divers. You got Wilks Wilkerson, Jocko Biemer...

Russ, hey, let's get another round for the boys.

Please, thank you?

So, Guns, you still blankin' Deedee Armbruster?

Hey, be careful, Gun.

She'll make an honest man out of you.

No. The old cocks man is not ready to pack it in yet.

So, I heard Shins tied the knot?

You mean, "Pops" Shins?

No!

Patsy already dropped a bambino for him.

Guns, we need a good man on the mound. How's the old wing?

Yeah, how about it?

Don't you worry about the old wing.

Yeah? All right!

The old Gunner's back!

Gunner! Gunner! Gunner! Gunner!

- Sonny! - Yeah?

Where you going?

I don't know. I just thought you might...

You know, you haven't seen these guys...

I don't feel like shootin' the shit with those guys right now.

- Let's get outta here. - Yeah?

Hey, you guys still out here?

Sonny couldn't help wondering if Gunner wanted to leave

because he didn't want his job buddies to see him hanging around with a nobody like him.

Or maybe it really was that Gunner felt he'd grown beyond those guys,

and wanted more serious deep discussions

with the sort of guy he evidently figured Sunny was.

Yeah, that was that Southport game.

- Did you take that picture? - I... I don't know.

Nina loves that picture.

That's a 67...

Speak of the devil.

Hi, Nina.

Hi, darling!

Sweetheart.

How are you?

Good. I want you to meet my friend, Sonny Burns.

Sonny, this is my mother, Nina.

Very pleased to meet you, Mrs. Casselman.

Well, you fellas want a drink?

No. I was just gonna get me and Sonny a beer.

Sonny tried not to look at Nina.

Terrified he would get a hard on, and Gunner would see it,

and he was getting sexed up by his mother.

She smelled heavily of some kind of woozy perfume that made him dizzy

and was rattling the ice in the glass so you couldn't not pay attention to her.

He figured he ought to say something.

It's a very nice apartment you have here, Mrs. Casselman.

Nina.

It's suits me fine, bachelor girl like myself.

Sit down.

I haven't seen you before.

What'd you say your name was again?

Willard Burns.

That's Sonny Burns. He went to Shortly.

I know all the gang from Shortly.

I haven't heard of him before.

Well, nobody did, really.

Why not?

- Well, I didn't do much. - Hell yes, he did.

Sonny was an ace photographer for the Echo.

He was the same for the paper up at I.U.

I.U.?

What house were you in?

The rooming house.

Ha ha ha! The rooming house. That's good.

That's funny.

Well, I guess I just don't get the joke.

Well, I'm gonna give Sonny a lift home.

I hope you're not forgetting about tonight, Gunner.

No, Nina.

I broke 2 dates to be with you tonight, sweetie.

Not that I wouldn't rather be with you.

I want you to show Nina a good time.

All right. We'll paint the town, Nina.

Come here. Give me a kiss.

Come on.

I love you.

OK.

Well... you're up awfully early this morning.

Do we have sausage or bacon and eggs or anything?

That's not what you like in the morning.

Your stomach is too delicate for greasy things.

Did you have a nice time with your new friend?

Does your new friend make it a habit... of going to bars in the middle of the afternoon?

So what if he does? So what if he goes to bars in the morning?

Don't yell at me. No need to yell at me.

I'm not yelling!

I'm not yelling.

I just asked what business is it of yours...

what Gunner Casselman does?

It's my business what happens to my son.

It's really none of your damn business, Mother.

And for your information, he's a great guy.

Sonny.

When you lie down with dogs,

you come up with fleas.

Where's my mind? I'm losing my mind...

I'm losing my fucking mind... fucking mind...

It's my business... business...

It's my business... what happens to my son.

Standing in his basement darkroom,

Sonny thought about the way Gunner had talked about him,

like he was someone special.

It was as if Gunner had this particular picture of him,

and he liked the way that picture of himself looked.

Maybe he really was a shrewd, quiet rebel all along.

He picked up his camera.

It felt solid and reassuring.

He almost felt there was something magic about it.

There was a secret weapon he could use to have his own life.

That was different from his parents.

For the next several days, Sunny and Gunner went on a picture-taking binge.

Gunner was restless.

Snapping pictures and asking people things

like he was trying to get the scoop on the mysterious city and its natives.

He kept asking this one particular question that people took as an insult.

The question of some kind of nut or subversive troublemaker.

Why?

This is so good.

I mean, this is...

I never... you know...

I never observed anything.

I never looked at anything...

and questioned it, you know?

At least not till I got to Japan.

And only then, I think, 'cause I was... I was an outsider.

You know? I was a real outsider for the first time.

And I realized that I didn't know shit about my own society.

I just accepted it.

That's when I wanted to learn how to start taking pictures...

Learn how to see.

You already got that. You're...

You know, it's like you were born with it.

This is... so good.

I don't know. I guess... thanks.

You're very kind. I guess I'm just lucky that way.

No. That's... that's not lucky. That's good.

Okay, I got it!

We are choppin' in tall cotton tonight, my man, yeah.

Nina's got a date for the races Saturday night at Churchill Downs.

She'll be in Louisville.

We're gonna have the place to ourselves.

Ho-ho!

Think you can line up a hot one for tonight?

I... yeah.

- Yeah? - Sure.

Good. I figure one of us gets the couch.

The other one gets the bedroom... or the red room...

Have us a regular fuck-a-thon.

What do you say?

You say "yes" is what you say.

Yes.

I actually got this little drink theory here, OK?

It's called the secret of the sea breeze.

Now, these are the girls' drinks, all right?

Now, the secret is...

they can't taste the vodka

because it's mostly grapefruit, understand?

It tastes like nothing, you know?

Sonny...

I love this one of the monument.

- Thank you very much. - The way you get the line of the shadow...

- That's a masterpiece. It's really good. - Very kind of you.

Sonny, that looks just like the monument.

You know, Buddy...

Great art, it sneaks up on you.

You have to let it soak in a little bit, study it.

Right, yeah. Yeah.

Do you know, Gunner learned zen in japan.

That's not all he learned.

Sonny felt weirdly removed from what was going on.

Like he was somewhere else watching these people do this.

The fact is, he didn't feel much of anything at all,

except a kind of annoyance at himself that he could still get a hardone for Buddy.

When he really didn't care much one way or another.

Buddy was a nice girl.

She and Sunny had gone steady for a while while in college.

It wasn't that he was so terrifically aroused by her.

He just wanted Gunner to hear him doing it.

I love you, Sunny.

He wanted his friend to know that he was really quite a fucker himself.

I feel sorry for Deedee.

How come?

He's never going to marry her.

She was just his girlfriend...

in high school, that's all.

You know, it's not...

Is that what I am?

What?

What do you want me to say? What would you like me to say?

Nothing. I would just like to know what your plans are.

I don't know! I don't... I don't...

I don't... I...

I don't want anything.

OK, I won't ask. 'Cause every time I ask,

- it turns into this. - No, no.

- Will you call me? - Yeah, I'll call you.

Will you?

Yes, yes, I will.

I will call you, I will.

I'll call you on the phone...

OK, fine, all right.

I will.

I'm sorry.

I'll call you.

Sonny?

You know what I've seen Dee Dee, she thinks she wants to get married.

She wants me to want to get married. You know.

And my old man before he died. He wants me to be a football player.

Nina wants me, you know, I don't know what Nina wants.

It's like the steep new book I'm reading. It's called a lonely crowd, right?

And I'm realizing as I'm reading it, there have always kind of been.

More of an outer-directed guy, right?

And now as time goes on, I'm kind of becoming more...

more inner-directed, not giving a shit so much with the crowd things.

Me and the lonely crowd things?

Well, any crowd. I mean, they're all lonely. You know that.

You've always been kind of more of an inner-directed guy.

Um, well, I don't know. Actually, maybe.

Goodness.

Man.

What I wouldn't give for a nice, new piece of ass right now. You bet.

What about Deedee?

Well, what about Buddy Porter?

Yeah, well, Buddy's, um...

You know, she's...

She's...

She's... She's nice.

She's good.

You know, she's...

She's Buddy.

And she's available.

Right, exactly. See what I'm saying?

It's not just getting laid we want.

That's not it. It's something else, right?

It's something... something extra.

It's a little something...

different?

Exactly.

Exactly. It's something different.

You got it. I mean...

say you could only eat one thing... for the rest of your life, right?

Say, I don't know, peach pie, OK?

Now, fine, great, maybe you love peach pie.

Maybe peach pie is great to you.

But that's all you get?

I mean morning, noon, and night, peach pie?

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, peach pie.

Peach pie, day in, day out,

Day in, peach pie.

I mean, for God's sake,

Maybe you want some blueberry one day.

There's nothing wrong with that.

You know, maybe you want some... some...

some chocolate cream.

Lemon chiffon.

Lemon chiffon.

God, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

As part of Gunner's plan to find more in life than pussy,

he announced to Sonny that they were going down to the Heron Art Museum

and look at the art.

Interesting.

I really think he's...

he's on to something here.

How can you tell?

Well, his use of color.

You know, the reds and the green.

And like, you know,

The movement that he gets.

You know? Right?

There was a certain technique for standing and looking.

For tilting your head in just the right way.

For shifting around to get another angle.

How long you supposed to look at it?

My.

Talk about art?

Sonny watched as Gunner started after her,

as naturally and unhesitatingly as if he already had a date to meet her.

It not only terrified Sonny to try to pick up a girl himself,

but even made him nervous to see another guy try.

If the other guy failed...

it somehow seemed to Sonny like a slap in the face of all men.

Himself included.

Excuse me.

Hi.

Hi.

Do I...

Do I know you from somewhere?

Because you look very familiar to me.

I don't think so.

Sonny.

Marty, Sonny.

Sonny, this is Marty.

Hi.

Go ahead.

Yeah, Marty was at Shortly.

She was a couple years behind us.

Yeah, I went to Shortly, too.

But I don't think we actually met.

But then we wouldn't have,

You being a big rod and all.

Isn't that what they called you golden boys?

Well, you know,

that was high school.

And college, too.

Depauw, wasn't it?

Football star, big man on campus,

B.M.O.C.

So, you went...

You went back east to college?

And I'm going to go back and live there.

Really? When?

When I serve my time here.

Well, daddy would let me go now.

But mother thinks if I stay here,

I'll meet a nice Jewish boy at the country club,

get married, and grow up to be just like her.

So, I'm taking courses at Harrod and painting.

If I can hack it for a year, I get my freedom.

A year from now,

I'll be gone.

Where are you going?

Well, New York, of course.

Sure.

- Sure. - Yeah, I mean, you know.

- Is there any place else? - No, absolutely not.

No, I meant what part of New York?

You know, I actually...

Well, I may be heading there myself, as a matter of fact,

to do some studying on the G.I. Bill.

What would you study?

Well, you know...

philosophy maybe.

Philos...

Or...

Well, or...

- Art. - Art, yeah.

You know, I figure art.

Probably something, you know,

something to do with, you know, art.

Art.

Well, I've got to run.

Thanks for the coffee.

Did she leave?

Marty.

Hold on a second.

Hold on there for a second.

Listen, I was...

Well, I was thinking maybe, you know,

we could get together sometime, you know.

'Cause...

Because I...

I want to talk to you about some stuff.

You know, I was thinking we could get together...

and talk about some...

some... stuff.

Like what?

Well...

OK, would you at least give me your phone number?

It's in the book.

You all right? Did you twist your ankle?

No, my ankle's fine. I just got such a goddamn hard-on,

I can barely walk.

Yeah, she's...

I don't even know what she is. She's something else.

She just thinks I'm a dumb jock.

No, really?

You think?

Why don't you tell her about zen and that stuff?

You know, take her to see some art.

I don't know shit about art, OK?

Really, really, you do.

You know, you look like you do. You know how to stand and...

What happened to us?

I thought we came down here to improve our minds, right?

We were going to see some real art. Wasn't that the idea?

I guess even art leads to pussy.

I guess.

Come on, man, let's go.

Oh, Sonny.

You're terrific.

You really do know about art.

I'll hear the only baby.

Do you forget the tampon tree blood?

A pine tree man never, ever been traced another camera.

I hates hide in Michigan.

I got on the beach...

Oh, Sonny, don't.

Get lost.

Why not?

Why not?

Because something might happen to you.

And who cares?

I do.

Well, I don't.

Oh, Sonny, I wish you're happy?

I wish I could make you happy.

I wish I wish you wish I don't know how to fuck it.

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

Why you don't just stop?

Well, I was going to the summer frolick with Harry Stapler.

- Before you called. - What the hell did you brake date for you?

He looks so nice. Harry's a great guy.

Why did you..? Harry?

Because I love you.

I can't...

We could still do something.

When almost a week went by without any word from Gunner,

Sonny began imagining all kinds of things that might have happened.

Maybe he got in board with Sonny and gone back to his old crew of big times.

All I want to know is...

What the hell was I doing hanging out with a loser like Sonny?

Maybe he decided to leave Indianapolis without even saying goodbye to anyone.

Even his friends.

With Gunner missing an action, Sonny decided to pay a call on Biff Barkley.

Biff had been Sonny's first boss when Sunny was just a high school kid.

He later got Sonny a job at the Indianapolis Star after his junior year in college.

Come on, kids, go with your mom. Let's go.

Burgers will be ready a minute, hun?

So, you're ready to come to the paper, make a nice dishonest living?

I don't know, you know?

You think there's even an opening?

Well, you might have to wait a while, but...

we're not the only game in town, much less the country.

Sunny, you thought about spreading your wings, getting out?

Well, actually, I thought about the GI, Bill.

- Good. - Yeah, you think?

I thought I might get a master's in something, you know, maybe.

Hey, that's great. What are you waiting for?

Hey, you could go to Chicago, New York, even Paris.

Pick yourself up some freelance camera work.

Yeah. Maybe.

No, I don't know. Can you see me out there?

You know, don't you have to be really good to be working in a big city?

Hey, you're young. Now's your time.

Sonny, don't wait till it's too late.

Like I did.

What do you mean?

Storm, New York, six years ago.

I couldn't get past the receptionists.

Oh, Bill. Come on, what you've... You won prizes and things.

So have a lot of other hay seeds.

This isn't right, Bill.

If I was even half of what you are, you know, how long did I follow you around?

Don't look at me. I'm past 40.

You're free-waiting at 21.

I'm 24.

Yeah. Now's your time.

Go inside the house with your mother, kids.

Burgers will be ready in a minute, honey.

Sonny.

What is it?

Do you still feel the same now as you did then?

Do you mean am I the same insight?

I'm the only older on the outside.

Yeah, that's it.

It's why it's a hard to look at a mirror.

You're looking at yourself, but you don't recognize yourself.

Because the person you see is older and wrinkled coffee.

You don't feel that way inside.

It's hard to believe that...

that's how you really look now.

That's how other people see you.

Must be very hard.

Don't, Sonny.

I'll tell you.

It's hard to think there is...

Bad...

And when your son grows up...

It was something Sonny had never really thought about before,

and he felt a sudden, sharp sympathy for his mother.

Not as his mother, but as Alma, a person,

a woman who was growing old.

Sorry, Sonny.

Your father and I have a surprise for you.

So, what we want to do is take you out to supper and show you something very special.

So, you come on up, get dressed.

And they got you now, don't you think?

It's the happiest prize for you.

Oh, it's a surprise.

It's not a party.

A story on a Bible.

It's a dream.

So, it's the day.

Oh, yes.

- Can I see now, please. - No, I mean, you can't see.

Bring yourself up?

Ready son?

Here we are.

Where?

Tell him, Elwood.

It's your lot, son.

We had a little something saved up and we watched this live.

Someday, when you're ready...

you can build on it.

Oh, we know you won't be our little boy forever.

Someday, you'll find the right girl.

And you'll settle down.

We want to do everything we can for you.

We don't want to interfere, do we, Elwood?

Lord, no.

We want to help.

Lord, yes.

That's what we live for.

You're happiness.

Sonny was more concerned with himself.

His failure to get his real life started.

He felt himself slipping into the same old, non-life of sleeping through half the day.

He figured the more he waited for Gunner to call, the less chance there was of it,

like the watched pot that never boils.

I've been expecting you.

What?

Have a seat.

You see, I have this theory, right?

Now, you got to understand that the beard itself is neutral.

Okay? It's just whiskers. It's nothing.

But as you know, not many people have them nowadays, right?

So it makes me different.

It makes people treat me different even though...

I'm the same guy.

So I don't want them to treat me different.

Well, that's the only way that a guy like me...

can really know what it feels like to be a foreigner.

Here in my hometown.

What a foreigner might feel like.

How foreigner might be treated for it.

Yeah, that's my plan.

Okay, so what do you think you find out?

But, you know, I don't know.

But, uh, I will.

Come on, let's go.

Tommy!

Good evening, Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns.

I just stopped and used the phone. So I want to say hello.

Oh, my. Good.

Is it honest, Abe?

Is that who you're supposed to be?

I know, mam.

Is that the new fad?

Well, no, sir, not that I know of.

I just, uh, just grew up here.

Okay, well, I'm better chev off than, folks.

It was nice to see you.

Oh, I'll talk to you soon.

I feel in my grin coming on.

Don't say a prayer for you, I would.

Sonny?

I don't know if the kid's gonna vote for your ex now.

I'm not a kid's mother, and I don't know.

I don't know what anyone's doing.

Are you?

Am I what? You're crazy.

Don't you swear at me?

Do you understand?

Yes.

Now you tell me.

Are you gonna grow a big, dirty, scratchy, old beard?

- Like your friend. - No, mother.

Good.

Do you promise?

No, I don't promise, mother.

I'm not a kid anymore. I don't have to promise anything.

See, these aren't pictures of how people look.

They're of how they feel.

Why aren't there any pictures of houses or cows?

This is almost childlike.

I mean, there's such an innocence here.

He sees it so fresh.

Look at that yellow.

Do you ever stop and think about color?

Yeah, this one's a real knockout.

I feel like a real dumbass, but I know he's doing something real.

Yellow.

Heat.

Energy.

- Life. - What's this guy feeling, you know?

He's also jumbled up.

But he's a very unhappy person.

What's on the head we got to do with it for Christ's sake?

Well...

...maybe he's just unhappy.

He doesn't have a bigger canvas.

Yeah, you got it.

You got it, babe.

I guess I just don't get it.

I guess not.

Hey.

Well, listen, don't let Sonny walk all over you.

Well, I love him.

I guess I've always loved him.

Well, that doesn't mean you have to be a doormat.

When I love someone, I can't be mean to them.

Well, you've got to make the effort.

Listen, let me give you some advice.

- If I were you. - No, thanks.

Maybe that's how it's done in the east.

But I'm from here.

And I'm staying here.

And I know how to do things here.

Good luck.

Girls who wait for the one and only.

Maybe lonely.

He's going to be a scorcher, babe.

Gunner felt they'd take a drive up to Marethian Hills and see if anyone was there.

He didn't belong, but he had a lot of friends who did.

And if you were a friend of a member,

they'd let you go ahead and take a swim.

Hey, Will.

He's from the 15th.

Gunner.

Hey, man. What's up man?

Hey, John.

Hey, you met Marty Culture. Went to Shortly.

Put a quarter.

Hey, buddy-buddy.

Hey, shit. Get a lot of Gunner.

He's going out for a part in a Christmas place.

The lead.

Might just do it. You know.

Jesus, or Lincoln, take a big.

I don't get it.

It's just a beard, and it's easy.

Oh, he's going swimming.

Hell, yeah, we are. I'm a race-looks here.

I think I can still beat him. Loser buys a bruise.

Hey, hey, what are you doing?

You can't go in the water like that.

Like what?

You can't go swimming with a freaking beard.

What? What does the beard have to do?

This is a pool, buddy.

Why don't we all go get something cool to drink?

Wait a minute. I want to know why the hell we can't go swimming here.

I'm not swimming in some place that had a filthy beard in it.

Hell, yes. Beard will contaminate the water.

Man my beard is clean.

Fucking A.

This is a family place Gunner.

Christ.

Well, this is a twist.

It's usually a Jews who gets attacked at country clubs.

May my beard makes me an honorary Jew, what do you think.

Don't get too comfotable, babe.

Still got a ways to go.

Don't people have your own country club?

Whoa. When?

- What people? - Cool it, Richie.

I'll buy us all drinks at the club house.

Are you talking about Marty?

Because if you are, you're talking about me.

Me too.

Who the hell are you anyway?

Come on, guys. Lets get out of here.

♪ I got a big .45 to make sure that you get it. ♪

You know what? Me and my friends came down here.

We want to take a swim, and that's what we're going to do.

You don't belong here.

Bro, you know what, Richie?

You're right.

I don't belong here, because I'm not a rich tootster.

You're a shit Frank.

Are you call me fat?

♪ I'm gonna stop talking. ♪

♪ I'll have everybody talking. ♪

That woman.

She had the nerve to call me up and go on about you being a bad influence on him.

Can you beat that?

Well, her son is just perfect, of course.

Do you know what we're going to do? We're going to go over there and give that castleman woman

a piece of our mind.

- Now, you just get dressed. - Mother!

It's too bad this had to happen.

I agree with you there.

If my Sonny hadn't fallen under the influence of your son.

My son is a leader.

He always has been.

It's beyond me what he saw in your son.

It is radical.

And his social ideas.

My son has always been a good boy

a normal person, until he fell in with him.

That... That playboy with the beard.

He never even had a beard until he got mixed up with your son.

Okay, okay. This is ridiculous.

He never got into brawls.

He never hung out with Jewses until he got mixed up with your son

and his crowd.

Crowd? I don't have a crowd.

- Don't try to brainwash me. - Brainwash?

It's your son who has the commie beard.

My son shaves like a good American.

Okay. I'll shave the beard. All right.

- Will that make everybody happy? - Happy. No.

I'm not happy when my son is being called a communist.

- Well, if the shoe fits wear it, sister. - Yes.

And if you wear the kind that harlot's wear, so shall he been known.

To each his own?

Those rogans of yours look like something you stole of a prison world.

Well, now I see where your son gets his habit of corrousing in bars.

Did anyone hear what I said? I'm shaving the beard.

Don't.

Don't you let this ride up school mom tell you how to live, sweetheart?

Well, at least I can be sure that no one will ever call me a Scarlet woman.

Oh, true, our words were never spoken, honey.

All right. All right, cut it, Nina. All right.

I'm going to shave the beard and that's all she wrote. Okay?

Can we, let's just go home.

- We're going to go home. Okay? - Pray for yourself.

We're going to go.

When you lie down with dogs, you come up with fleas.

My son came up with fleas.

Nina. Nina, take it easy.

Nina! Calm down.

- Sonny? - Get out of the house.

Nina!

Am I serious about Marty?

I don't know.

What does that mean?

I like to fuck her, and I like to talk to her.

Pretty rare combination.

Fucking "A."

She's going to New York too.

That about clinches it for me. It's Columbia and the G.I. Bill now, that's it.

So, you're really leaving?

Yep.

I mean, why not, you know?

Getting it from both sides here.

Marty's mother is all over her... For seeing Asheiguhtz.

And Nina won't quit with her Jewish remarks.

Such a load of shit.

Whatever happened with that ad agency offer... you had in Chicago?

I didn't tell you?

I flunked the personality test.

- You're shitting me. - No.

How'd that happen?

Well, they send you this test in the mail, right?

And in one part of it you're supposed to draw a picture of yourself.

So, I drew a picture of me, you know, casual, drink in one hand, other hand in the pocket.

The psychiatrist who graded the test said...

it showed a tendency toward alcoholism and masturbation.

You believe that shit?

I guess I'll never make it in the ad world, either.

Fuck 'em.

I'm heading to New York.

Greenwich Village.

All you got to do is get the G.I. Bill.

Why don't you come with me?

New fucking York.

Hey, man, I forgot to tell you.

Marty has this friend who's coming down that she went to college with...

who's apparently, you know, pretty hot to trot.

And Marty was thinking that we could fix you up with her...

for that big dinner dance Saturday night.

Want to go?

- Sure. - You know, I mean, who knows?

Lightning could strike. You could get laid.

- Crazier things have happened. - Good night!

That's right. No, I do remember.

Actually, absolutely I remember.

You... you haven't changed. No, no, don't change. Don't change.

I'm Sonny Burns. Yeah, Son... Sonny Burns!

Sonny Burns.

Greetings and salutations!

Hi, Sonny, it's me.

Do you know where we're going yet or when I should pick you up?

Yeah, actually, you know, I'm... I'm... I'm not... I'm not...

I'm not... I don't think I'm, well, really.

You know, um, I haven't, you know, I was...

I've... I've been really... It's just been coming in in waves.

It comes and goes.

Just before y-y-you called I was feeling... I was fine, but, um...

I'm really... I'm not... I think it's something I ate, really.

Um...

you know?

Buddy, are you still there?

Yeah, Sonny, I'm always here. Isn't that how it is?

Well, listen, you know, we can...

I'm sure this won't last. It's really, you know...

I'm... I'm just gonna lie down for a bit,

and, um, and then...

and after I lie down, I... I mean soon, very soon,

I'm sure we can go to Hollyhock Hills or something.

So, is that all right?

Yeah, sure.

Hi, Harry?

It's me.

♪ From the moment you walked in ♪

♪ I knew ♪

So, now that Nina's guy is taking her up to Max and Cutty's for the weekend,

we're gonna have the place to ourselves, and I hear that Gale is hot to trot.

So I think we may be choppin' the tall cotton.

♪ Tempted and tangled by love ♪

♪ In the moment I held you, I knew ♪

♪ You were meant for me ♪

♪ Just to know the bliss of one single kiss ♪

Don't get up, don't get up.

I just had to powder my nose.

Well, you look, great.

Thank you.

She'll be down in a minute.

Here she is.

♪ From the moment I saw you, I knew ♪

♪ You were a dream come true ♪

♪ As I still feel this way ♪

♪ Until that day I'll wait for you, dear ♪

Sonny, Gale Thayer. Gale, this is my good friend Sonny Burns.

Hi, Sonny Burns.

Hi. You...

Gale, Sonny is an ace photographer,

sports being his specialty.

Really? What's your favorite sport?

Um...

basketball.

Mine, too.

Yeah.

So I plow through... I grind to the end, you know,

and by then I'm holding my breath...

as C.C. Waddles to the front of the room, right?

And he stands right next to Itchy,

and I look at him and he looks at me, and he waits about a year and a half, right?

I had no idea what to do. I'm horrified at this point.

So finally, he looks at me and he says,

"Mr. Burns!"

So, yeah, straight.

"Mr. Burns,

"In all my years,

I've never seen anything like this.

Your speech...

has moved this young man to tears!"

Whoo! Good night!

- That's it. - I love your imitations.

You should be on Ed Sullivan.

Why not?

Why not?

Time for the girls to powder our noses.

We'll be right here.

Right here.

Yes! I am rolling, Guns baby. I'm just... I... I feel...

You better eat something. You got to line your Stomach...

No, no, no, I got a large capacity.

I'm just... I'm just fine.

All right.

That was funny.

They just don't understand Catcher In The Rye, you know?

I think what bothers them...

what bothers them is that they know that what Holden is trying to do...

is he's trying to break through...

this accepted, unquestioned, adult existence, you know.

And to get... Excuse me, Gale...

And, um, get to a place...

beyond where he can be... he can be Holden and be accepted,

And... and not have the... the corruption and disillusionment...

th-th-th-that just... that seems inevitable, you know.

Sometimes I... I wonder if we'll wake up one day...

and... and won't be like Holden anymore, you know.

That is really amazing, Sonny.

Really.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

I'm just gonna have to... have to go to the bathroom.

I didn't... I didn't mean...

Just go to the bathroom, for God's sake.

Please.

I'll just...

Well, what... what are you thinking?

Why... why are you drinking?

Why do you think you're so fucking amazing?

Just stop. Just... no.

No, God, please, just don't... don't let me come.

Please, I'll go to church.

It's OK, it's OK, I'll get it up... get it up... get it up.

Don't let me come. Please...

I'm having such a wonderful time.

Having such a wonderful time.

Having such a wonderful time... wonderful time.

Having such a wonderful time.

You're so amazing. You're so amazing.

♪ Does she love me? ♪

♪ It's too soon to know ♪

♪ Can I believe her? ♪

Listen, I just...

I just want you to understand...

that, um...

um...

I'm just... I am com-completely...

I'm... I'm... absolutely... I'm...

I'm madly in...

I'm in love with you.

Um...

but, I'm...

I'm in love with you.

I am... I am in love with you.

But... but...

I'm wanna go to bed with you.

But?

No, no, no buts.

I'm wanna...

I'm wanna go to bed with you.

To bed to...

Take a nap?

No, I...

So... so...

we can...

So we can have, sexual intercourse.

All right.

♪ Does she love me? ♪

♪ It's too soon to know ♪

♪ Can I believe her? ♪

♪ When she tells me so ♪

♪ Is she only ♪

♪ Is it all in my desire? ♪

♪ Or just another play? ♪

♪ I'll cry ♪

♪ When she's gone ♪

♪ I wonder ♪

♪ Is it ♪

Well...

sexual...

intercourse?

♪ It's just all way too soon ♪

♪ Good night ♪

What... what's the matter?

Sorry. It's just... It's fine.

Jesus.

It's fine. It... it's fine.

- See... see, it takes a little time... - Please.

Get... get up and going.

It'll be all right.

Please.

- It's all right. - Please...

just go away.

♪ Why was I born? ♪

♪ Why am I living? ♪

♪ What do I... do I get? ♪

♪ What am I... what am I giving? ♪

♪ Why... why... why do I... do I want to think ♪

♪ I... I am here at all? ♪

She will make everything OK.

Everything OK... everything will be OK.

She will be OK for me and we will be... We will be OK.

We will be OK.

Please, dear God, make everything... OK.

OK... OK...

Just go away.

I'm having a fabulous time.

Gunner?

I'm... I'm sorry.

I was just...

I got something that...

I think I need...

I think I need a little...

help here, please.

Hey, what is it, man?

What's going on?

God, man.

Jesus.

No...

Man, that's not it, you know. That's...

really, th-th-that's not it, you know?

That's... that's... that's not the way.

What do I do, man?

What do I do?

Well, you know, we got to think of something, you know.

We... we... we gotta...

We gotta do something. We gotta...

We gotta figure something out.

We just gotta, you know...

We got to get you out of here.

Pack.

Sonny sat in the car trying not to be noticed.

He knew he couldn't go around with his wrist all bandaged up

and no shirts leave to hide it.

Everyone knows what it means when a person has his wrist all bandaged up.

And he didn't want to have to answer a lot of questions.

Gunner returned from the general store with an ace bandage,

which he expertly wrapped around Sonny's forearm.

Now Sonny could tell everyone that he had a spring.

It was perfectly all right to have a spring and an ace bandage.

In fact, it was sort of a Mark of honor.

The sort of thing athletes were always having happened.

Beautiful.

What do you think?

Pretty great, ha?

I hate to have to do this to you, buddy.

I hate to know that you are.

Go on in.

It's like camp pine tree.

Younger?

It felt good.

Actually.

And I felt fine, but it was like a relief.

I tried to kill you, son.

Yeah, like.

It wasn't like that, though.

That's all I knew that I didn't want to die.

Just something I had to change.

You know, a shift, maybe.

And here, you know, I don't know.

I don't know.

I stopped at what I felt.

I just felt clean and I'm free.

I didn't breathe for the first time.

I was just thinking on people who did this sort of thing.

You know, cut themselves without going all the way.

Just chicken, you know, show boats.

Starting for love and attention and all that.

But it's not like that. It's not about that person, you know?

It's like, you know, what are you doing?

There's nothing else to do, you know?

I want this so much here, so much.

You know, terrible movies and pictures banging around.

I mean, what do you do when there's nothing left?

So you do anything, you know?

There's voices in you that, you know

impulses that can...

kill you.

I think you have a lot of good forces in you too.

Hey, I'm trying to take that thing off, are you?

You know?

Just thinking.

Not about doing it again, I hope.

Man, you don't even know.

Why?

You don't even know what you got going for you, how much you got in the fall.

I mean it, man.

You got your photography.

And you got a way of explaining it to people

who don't understand it, like me, so they can figure it out.

I mean, I admire the hell out of that.

And you got guts sticking with me the way he did at the pool,

even though you're, you know, but he's joking.

I mean, he didn't get clobbered, but.

And if you just talk with your big Ron buddies, is somewhere there?

I don't know what happened, you know?

What do you mean? Hey, no, fuck that.

Fuck those guys.

If I was stuck with those guys this summer, I never would have

I never would have done anything.

You know?

I mean, can you feature me hashing out the lonely crowd with Wilkes Wilkerson?

Or trying to show my paintings to Blow Mahoney?

Or Jaco Beamer?

I mean, you know, the guy's name is Jaco Beamer.

You know, hey...

or Marty?

Can you imagine her staying in the same room with those guys for more than two seconds?

Look, man, I never would have got anywhere with Marty if it wasn't for you.

I mean, I didn't even know what I was saying to her.

Sonny.

You showed me that I wasn't just some jock.

You showed me a part of me that I wanted to see.

I don't know, man.

Wait a minute.

That's it, right there.

That's it.

You did it.

You got it.

I don't know anything.

I know nothing.

That's that's like what the Zen guys call the beginner's mind.

I mean, that's what the master's strive for.

That's that state of mind. I know nothing.

So the very least you're a Zen master now.

You can take some saws and that.

Here, I got you.

Sandwich.

No tomato.

I hoped that they put a tomato in there.

Otherwise, I'll have to drive all the way back there

and trash them.

Man, eat the fucking sandwich.

Eat it. Eat.

Fuck this.

Eat. Clean your mouth and eat it.

Enjoy it.

Eat.

Do it.

Do it.

Man.

Here you go.

I was going to have to throw you back in the quarry again.

So, what happened with you and Gale?

Nothing.

Thank you and good night.

Absolutely nothing. Not a goddamn thing.

Nothing?

She frigid or something?

No. No.

Hell, no.

No, that would be me.

Yeah.

I fucked up, pal.

How about that? I...

Instead of fucking her, I... I fucked up.

You know, 'cause I couldn't get it up.

Really?

I thought you were hot for her, man.

Man, you know...

Shit! Shit! She was it, man.

She was... the dream, the girl, the beginning, the end.

She was everything.

The perfect combination of sex and brains,

The one we're all supposed to find, the one we deserve.

You know, everything.

Man.

Don't worry about that, you know.

It... Gale was a bitch.

That was the trouble.

That... that... that's all it was.

Nah, she wasn't a bitch.

I wish you'd been in Japan.

Best thing about Japan was the women.

You'd have to say that they're whores, you know, technically, 'cause you pay them,

but, I mean, it's not like how it is here, you know.

It's not this "wham-bam- thank-you-ma'am" kind of thing...

where you feel dirty after it.

They... they... they take their time there. They treat you right.

If we were in Japan right now...

Yeah, but we're not.

We're right here,

surrounded by Ohio,

Illinois,

Kentucky,

Michigan,

- Right here in Indiana. - Illinois!

Shit, I forgot, man. Fuck!

I forgot.

There... there... there's this great little whorehouse...

about 40 miles south of Chicago.

My frat buddies took me there. It was great.

It... it... it was totally different.

Different? What's different about it?

All the girls.

I mean, they're... they're... they're pretty and they're sweet.

Hell, they're farm girls, you know?

I mean, they... they... they let you play with them.

They... they talk to you like you're a real person,

like it's a real... date.

That's what you need.

Yeah, that's what you need.

One of these nice, sexy farm girls.

Treat you right.

All right?

That's the answer.

So, where is this place?

Ha! It's in this jerkwater town.

Gladiola.

That's what they called it,

the Gladiola House.

Go!

♪ You women have heard of jalopies ♪

See where the fuck we are.

Here we go. Here we go. Here, take this.

♪ My new rocket 88 ♪

♪ Yeah, it's straight, just one way ♪

♪ Everybody likes my rocket 88 ♪

♪ We'll go ridin'in style ♪

You know where we are?

I can't...

Look at that.

Where are we?

Look,

there's a light right there.

I see the light. Is that it?

I think so. I don't know, man.

It looks like it.

Hold on.

♪ V-8 motor and this modern design ♪

♪ Black convertible top ♪

♪ And the gal's goin'fine ♪

♪ She's goin' with me ridin' all 'round down the joint ♪

So, this would be the part...

where you go into the church...

to ask directions to the whorehouse, right?

No. This would be the part where you go into the church...

and ask directions to the whorehouse.

This is the part where you go into the church to ask directions.

All right, you son of a bitch, you want to flip for it?

Loser goes into the church, asks directions to the whorehouse.

You gonna call it?

You call it.

Heads.

The way of the devil!

The way of the devil!

Won't you come,

come and lay down your burden...

and rest in the arms of God?

He's waiting for you.

A stranger has come to us out of the night,

out of the dark and the rain.

Don't be afraid, son.

Pour out your heart to God.

Excuse me, I'm lost.

- Praise the Lord! - Praise the Lord!

The Shepherd loves a lost sheep most of all.

Tell us, son. Tell us,

what's in your heart?

Well, can you tell me how to get to Gladiola?

Nothing in Gladiola anymore, son.

What are you looking for, boy?

It's just a... It's a house.

A... A house?

Son, if you're looking for the Gladiola House,

It's been closed down 4, 5 years ago now.

And hallelujah!

- Praise the Lord! - Praise the Lord!

♪ Rock of ages ♪

♪ Cleft for me ♪

♪ Let me hide myself in Thee ♪

♪ Let the water and the blood ♪

♪ From thy wounded side which flowed ♪

♪ Be of sin, the double cure ♪

♪ Save the wrath and make us pure ♪

You're a lucky fella.

You could've been killed...

maybe paralyzed.

Well, we'll let you lie here for a couple of months.

Got you in some plaster.

Be good as new.

That big rod Buddy of yours?

Hardly had a scratch.

Came up smellin' like roses.

He's the kind that always does.

We all thank God...

that you're coming home in one piece.

You can just rest as long as you want.

I'll bake your favorites, and I'll rub your back for you.

All right, now, let's not do any good-bye shit.

I'm gonna write you from New York,

and you'll be out there in no time. OK?

See ya.

Sonny knew he ought to be thankful.

Thankful to God for saving his ass and for not killing anyone else.

But all you could think of was that...

if God had really given a shit

there wouldn't have been an accident in the first place.

If God had been a really good guy,

he wouldn't have spirited the gladiola house away.

You never heard a word from your fine-feathered friend,

if that's what you're looking for.

He said he was gonna write when he got to New York.

Well, I guess he just got too busy...

raising Cain down in Greenwich Village...

with the rest of the communists.

Him with hardly a scratch and you almost killed.

Is that your Christianity, Mother?

Anybody you don't like should die?

Let's not dwell on the past, OK?

OK?

Such a sweet little surprise.

That Buddy is so sweet.

Of course, she wanted to be here,

but I thought you needed your rest,

so I thought we'd pick her up

on our way to celebrate at your favorite restaurant.

Hollyhock Hill.

That's your favorite restaurant.

Sonny.

Sonny, you loved their fried chicken when you were a little boy.

Yes?

What is it?

Good news, Son.

I got you an appointment with J. Briggs Dunlap...

over at Lily.

He's their...

Head of public relations.

Wow. That's wonderful.

Thank you.

Sonny! Come on down!

We've got a surprise for you.

It's for your new life.

A career man needs a new car.

All right. Now, you just go pick up Buddy.

Meet us up at Hollyhock Hill.

She's waitin' for you.

Hi.

- Hi. - Hi.

How's your arm?

It's... it's peachy.

You look... beautiful.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Very beautiful.

Listen,

I'm not gonna go to Hollyhock Hills.

That's all right.

Um.

See, I think you...

I think you...

You're great.

You really... You really are. You're great.

You're beautiful.

You're... You're great, and you deserve a great guy.

I've got one.

No.

Who am I? I mean, I... I'm, um...

nobody I...

I can't begin to be...

whoever you need to treat you the way that...

- I've got one. - To love you.

Harry Stapler.

You what?

Harry Stapler.

We got engaged.

I tried to tell your mother,

but she, she wouldn't listen.

I'm really, really... happy... Sonny.

And Harry and I both want the same things...

here...

in Indianapolis.

I love you.

I'm happy you're happy.

I want for you to be happy, too.

Happy.

Thank you.

Hey, Buddy?

Could you do me a favor?

As he said goodbye to Buddy, Sonny stood for a moment,

feeling the simple pleasure of being alive.

He wondered if perhaps that's what real-life was after all.

Those moments.

He didn't find it depressing.

It felt that perhaps it meant his real-life had been going on all the time.

And the moments were there to remind him.

He figured the truth was you lived hundreds of lives within your time

and that you never started and continued on a straight path.

But that you got lost, crashed, and began again.

And there wasn't any last beginning until death

did away with you or took you to some other place.

As he boarded the train, he had a sense now of what he was doing.

As he planned for New York.

As he broke from home.

Whether it was right or wrong,

he knew at least in one way what he was doing and was going to continue to do.

In different ways with different people,

as long as his heart beat and his blood ran, until he came to this life's end.

Begin.