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1
00:00:09,586 --> 00:00:11,310
[laughter]
- "Pony" by Ginuwine comes on,
2
00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,482
and Sam walks straight
to the middle of the room,
3
00:00:13,551 --> 00:00:14,724
clears a big circle,
4
00:00:14,793 --> 00:00:16,103
won't let anybody else dance--
5
00:00:16,172 --> 00:00:17,517
- I drop down to the ground
6
00:00:17,586 --> 00:00:18,862
and start doing the worm.
7
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:21,689
And boom! My pants
split wide open.
8
00:00:21,758 --> 00:00:25,241
- No underwear!
Butt everywhere!
9
00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:26,758
- Man, it was so bad,
10
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:28,551
the principal had to give Sam
his pants.
11
00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:30,379
[laughter]
- I still have 'em.
12
00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:32,137
- You do?
- They fit! They fit!
13
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:35,241
[laughter]
14
00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:36,758
- Well, I have a funny
prom story.
15
00:00:36,827 --> 00:00:38,137
- Yes!
- Okay, okay.
16
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:41,172
So our theme was
Under the Sea.
17
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:44,793
Except they put stars
on the ceiling.
18
00:00:44,862 --> 00:00:47,068
Well why would there be
stars on the ceiling
19
00:00:47,137 --> 00:00:49,448
if we're under the sea?!
20
00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,793
[laughing]
21
00:00:51,862 --> 00:00:53,137
Who does that, you know?
22
00:00:53,206 --> 00:00:54,413
- Uh, yeah.
23
00:00:54,482 --> 00:00:55,620
I guess there
wouldn't be...
24
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,034
- No.
- Ha, ha!
25
00:00:58,103 --> 00:01:00,758
Ah, man, hilarious.
26
00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:03,206
- Then I was voted prom queen,
so, you know, so dumb.
27
00:01:03,275 --> 00:01:06,620
- Congratulations.
- Thank you so much.
28
00:01:07,137 --> 00:01:08,068
I love your hair.
29
00:01:08,137 --> 00:01:09,862
- Oh, thank you.
30
00:01:09,931 --> 00:01:12,586
- Yeah, Chrissy does YouTube
hair tutorials.
31
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:13,827
They're pretty popular.
32
00:01:13,896 --> 00:01:15,551
- Oh, I love YouTube!
33
00:01:15,620 --> 00:01:17,241
Yeah, I have lots
of videos on there
34
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,206
of me singing gospel songs.
35
00:01:19,275 --> 00:01:20,862
So many views,
it's embarrassing.
36
00:01:20,931 --> 00:01:22,413
So dumb.
- Totally.
37
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:23,586
- And now it's time
for Mort Crim's
38
00:01:23,655 --> 00:01:25,206
Chump of the Week.
39
00:01:25,275 --> 00:01:27,206
- Oh, here comes Chump.
- There we go! Morty!
40
00:01:27,275 --> 00:01:30,482
- This week's chump is my
son's best friend Tucker.
41
00:01:30,551 --> 00:01:32,862
If you're coming to someone's
house for a sleepover,
42
00:01:32,931 --> 00:01:34,931
you don't get a nosebleed.
43
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,344
That's all my stuff
you bled on, Tucker.
44
00:01:37,413 --> 00:01:38,862
- Classic Chump.
45
00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:41,586
- Up next, watersports
and weather.
46
00:01:41,655 --> 00:01:43,379
- ♪ If you want to save
money... ♪
47
00:01:43,448 --> 00:01:45,103
- Oh, I love this commercial.
48
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,068
- Well, it's one of ours.
49
00:01:47,137 --> 00:01:48,931
- You know that's Sam singing,
right?
50
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,344
- Really?
51
00:01:50,413 --> 00:01:52,310
You're so cute.
- Eh, actually I'm sexy.
52
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,862
- ♪ Dime after dime ♪
53
00:01:53,931 --> 00:01:56,482
- ♪ It's an undeniable fact ♪
54
00:01:56,551 --> 00:02:01,275
- ♪ And it's always bargain
time at Farmer Zack's ♪
55
00:02:01,344 --> 00:02:04,103
- ♪ You get your
nickels back ♪
56
00:02:04,172 --> 00:02:09,413
♪ And it's always bargain time
at Farmer Zack's ♪
57
00:02:09,482 --> 00:02:11,689
- Who is that you're
singing with?
58
00:02:11,758 --> 00:02:13,344
- Uh, you know,
59
00:02:13,413 --> 00:02:15,103
I don't quite remember.
60
00:02:15,172 --> 00:02:16,758
Something like that kind of
is, like, can slip the mind.
61
00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:18,793
- Sam, that's Molly.
62
00:02:18,862 --> 00:02:22,379
- Is it, Chrissy? What a
fantastic memory you have.
63
00:02:22,448 --> 00:02:24,413
- Yeah, we've been
doing Sudoku puzzles
64
00:02:24,482 --> 00:02:26,517
so we don't go nuts
when we're old people.
65
00:02:26,586 --> 00:02:28,689
- ♪ And it's always bargain
time at Farmer Zack's ♪
66
00:02:28,758 --> 00:02:29,896
- Who's--who's Molly?
67
00:02:29,965 --> 00:02:31,448
- ♪ Farmer Zack's ♪
68
00:02:31,517 --> 00:02:32,482
- Just an acquaintance.
69
00:02:32,551 --> 00:02:33,827
- An acquaintance?
70
00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:36,896
You used to call her
your soulmate.
71
00:02:36,965 --> 00:02:38,379
- Ex-girlfriend.
72
00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:41,310
I guess that's why you guys
sound so passionate.
73
00:02:41,379 --> 00:02:43,172
- Ah, it's just
a commercial, babe.
74
00:02:43,241 --> 00:02:44,965
Who cares? I mean,
it's not like I came.
75
00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,241
- Ohhhh, man!
- Sam!
76
00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:48,068
- What? I said I didn't come.
77
00:02:48,137 --> 00:02:49,724
- I don't normally comment
on the commercials,
78
00:02:49,793 --> 00:02:52,068
but that grocery store
commercial
79
00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:53,827
makes me just a little horny.
80
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:55,931
- ♪ Next time ♪
81
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,241
♪ When they ask you ♪
82
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,172
♪ Where you're from ♪
83
00:02:59,241 --> 00:03:01,000
♪ You gon' say Detroit city ♪
84
00:03:01,068 --> 00:03:05,241
♪ When we get back on
our feet, yeah ♪
85
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,758
♪ Yeah ♪
86
00:03:06,827 --> 00:03:09,793
[smooth music]
87
00:03:09,862 --> 00:03:11,413
- Yes, sir.
88
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:14,379
♪ ♪
89
00:03:14,448 --> 00:03:16,172
- Ho, ho, shit!
90
00:03:16,241 --> 00:03:18,241
[laughing]
91
00:03:18,310 --> 00:03:21,482
Yeah, that is it right there!
92
00:03:21,551 --> 00:03:23,172
Mm.
93
00:03:24,586 --> 00:03:26,206
Oh, uh, can I--
can I get a Whopper?
94
00:03:26,275 --> 00:03:28,103
- The hell's that?
Is that some kind of joke?
95
00:03:28,172 --> 00:03:29,689
- Yeah, of course it's a joke.
96
00:03:29,758 --> 00:03:31,275
I think it's funnier
than you do, actually.
97
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,241
- Well, Tim, I had
this great idea.
98
00:03:33,310 --> 00:03:34,448
It's just--it kind of
made me laugh.
99
00:03:34,517 --> 00:03:36,275
I was like, what if--
100
00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:39,275
get this--we re-recorded
the Farmer Zack jingle
101
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,172
with me and Shannon singing?
102
00:03:41,241 --> 00:03:42,689
- Ugh.
103
00:03:42,758 --> 00:03:44,379
Shannon's jealous 'cause it's
you and Molly.
104
00:03:44,448 --> 00:03:46,896
- No. Shannon didn't even
mention it once.
105
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,172
Yet.
106
00:03:48,241 --> 00:03:49,586
But man, it's so awkward,
you know.
107
00:03:49,655 --> 00:03:50,758
It comes on all the time.
108
00:03:50,827 --> 00:03:52,000
So let's re-record it.
109
00:03:52,068 --> 00:03:54,379
- Sam, people love that jingle.
110
00:03:54,448 --> 00:03:55,620
- Yeah, but they'll love
the new jingle
111
00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:56,862
even more.
112
00:03:56,931 --> 00:03:58,103
Plus,
113
00:03:58,172 --> 00:03:59,241
Shannon's a professional
singer,
114
00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:00,310
she's my girlfriend,
115
00:04:00,379 --> 00:04:01,482
and we're doing it, so...
116
00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:03,310
- Yeah, you know what? Fine.
117
00:04:03,379 --> 00:04:05,620
But it's only because I want
you and Shannon to be happy.
118
00:04:05,689 --> 00:04:07,068
- Thank you, buddy.
119
00:04:07,137 --> 00:04:08,758
- But tell me this,
my friend...
120
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:12,689
How's the sex?
121
00:04:12,758 --> 00:04:13,896
- We don't have to do that.
122
00:04:13,965 --> 00:04:15,103
- I'm sorry. I apologize.
123
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,379
It's a joke.
- Okay.
124
00:04:16,448 --> 00:04:17,689
- It's all part of the--
I mean--
125
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,620
- Yeah.
126
00:04:19,689 --> 00:04:22,172
- Crap, now I'm picturing
you pumping.
127
00:04:22,241 --> 00:04:24,000
- Now I'm picturing
you pumping.
128
00:04:31,344 --> 00:04:33,137
- For the life of me,
I can't understand,
129
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,034
why would you steal Kotex?
130
00:04:35,103 --> 00:04:36,655
Do you even know what they are?
131
00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:38,241
Look at me!
132
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:39,655
Do you know what my daddy
would do if he found me
133
00:04:39,724 --> 00:04:41,068
stealing some Kotex?
134
00:04:41,137 --> 00:04:43,310
He would beat my black ass.
135
00:04:43,379 --> 00:04:44,689
You better look at me.
I ain't playin'.
136
00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:46,103
I'll put my foot
so deep in your ass
137
00:04:46,172 --> 00:04:47,931
you'll be walking on my knees.
138
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,551
Tomata, you're banned
from the store.
139
00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:52,344
Now get your ass outta here!
140
00:04:53,103 --> 00:04:54,344
Better take that look off you--
141
00:04:54,413 --> 00:04:55,931
you take that look
off your face.
142
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,068
- You can't steal, buddy.
Ooh! Sam!
143
00:04:58,137 --> 00:05:00,655
- Hey, guys.
What can I do you for?
144
00:05:00,724 --> 00:05:03,068
- Randy, we think
it's about time
145
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,862
you update that
commercial of yours.
146
00:05:04,931 --> 00:05:06,862
- Are you crazy? People love
that commercial.
147
00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:09,000
- Yes, they love it.
But it's outdated.
148
00:05:09,068 --> 00:05:10,827
- Yeah, times are changing,
149
00:05:10,896 --> 00:05:12,724
and people want a grocery store
that changes with them.
150
00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:13,931
- Let's walk! Tell me what
you're talking about.
151
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,689
- Let's walk, let's walk.
152
00:05:15,758 --> 00:05:17,206
- You got to check, because
they be stealing the toys
153
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:18,689
in here, you know
what I'm sayin'?
154
00:05:18,758 --> 00:05:19,862
You put little ski masks
in there,
155
00:05:19,931 --> 00:05:21,482
you know what I'm sayin'?
156
00:05:21,551 --> 00:05:22,896
Chocolate Duke, baby.
You can't--[chuckles]
157
00:05:22,965 --> 00:05:24,724
- Yeah, well it's just
Count Chocula.
158
00:05:24,793 --> 00:05:25,827
- Hmm?
159
00:05:25,896 --> 00:05:27,620
- Randy, we were thinking,
160
00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:30,275
for the new commercial,
we could update the song, uh,
161
00:05:30,344 --> 00:05:32,206
with different prices
for the holidays,
162
00:05:32,275 --> 00:05:37,137
like, uh, "for the 4th of July,
hot dogs are 2.99.
163
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,275
That price just
blew my mind..."
164
00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:40,689
- Mike!
165
00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,275
Don't squeeze the melons
like that, man,
166
00:05:42,344 --> 00:05:43,586
I can smell your fingers on it!
167
00:05:43,655 --> 00:05:44,862
- I don't do that anymore.
168
00:05:44,931 --> 00:05:46,758
- I'm lookin' at ya, man.
169
00:05:46,827 --> 00:05:48,793
- No, I'm looking at 'em
to buy.
170
00:05:48,862 --> 00:05:51,206
- Oh, I'm sorry, man.
My apologies, man.
171
00:05:51,275 --> 00:05:53,724
Tsunami of apologies to you.
172
00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,620
Okay, that's fine.
You can update the song,
173
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,551
but we gotta do something with
this goddamn character.
174
00:05:58,620 --> 00:05:59,862
- Yes.
- We gotta update him,
175
00:05:59,931 --> 00:06:01,241
you know what I'm sayin'?
176
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:02,758
We need to get rid
of this hat,
177
00:06:02,827 --> 00:06:04,344
give him some black shades,
and a--
178
00:06:04,413 --> 00:06:05,965
like a black shirt,
let his muscles pop out.
179
00:06:06,034 --> 00:06:09,241
- You want Farmer Zack to lose
the straw hat
180
00:06:09,310 --> 00:06:11,482
and have a tight black shirt?
181
00:06:11,551 --> 00:06:13,068
- That's it.
- Yeah.
182
00:06:13,137 --> 00:06:14,655
Yeah, we could do that, though.
183
00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:15,896
- That's what I mean. Mike!
184
00:06:15,965 --> 00:06:17,655
What you doing, man?!
185
00:06:19,275 --> 00:06:20,620
He just had his dick
in a melon.
186
00:06:20,689 --> 00:06:24,137
He's got his dick in a melon!
187
00:06:24,206 --> 00:06:25,655
- Oh, she's buying
the dick melon.
188
00:06:25,724 --> 00:06:27,103
She's buying the dick--ma'am!
- Ma'am!
189
00:06:27,172 --> 00:06:28,379
- Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am!
- Ma'am!
190
00:06:28,448 --> 00:06:29,517
- A man had his penis
in that.
191
00:06:29,586 --> 00:06:30,793
- I'll get you a new one.
192
00:06:33,448 --> 00:06:35,586
- Mm-hmm.
193
00:06:37,344 --> 00:06:38,758
[sighs]
194
00:06:40,689 --> 00:06:42,827
- Oh, babe.
- Hm?
195
00:06:42,896 --> 00:06:44,724
- Got some exciting news.
- What?
196
00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:47,620
- We just hired an amazing
gospel singer
197
00:06:47,689 --> 00:06:51,206
to sing the new and improved
Farmer Zack's jingle.
198
00:06:53,344 --> 00:06:55,172
- Is it that raggedy bitch
Bebe Jenkins?
199
00:06:55,241 --> 00:06:57,689
- Oh, no, babe, uh, it's--
I was talking about you.
200
00:06:57,758 --> 00:06:59,068
Just trying to be sweet.
It's you.
201
00:06:59,137 --> 00:07:00,448
- Oh, my God!
202
00:07:00,517 --> 00:07:03,241
Oh, my--that'll be
so much fun.
203
00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:05,068
Babe, you're the cutest.
204
00:07:05,137 --> 00:07:06,448
- Ah, actually I'm the sexiest.
205
00:07:06,517 --> 00:07:07,758
But yeah, we can re-record
the jingle
206
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,206
and never hear
the old one again.
207
00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:11,517
- Good. Because you
acted so weird
208
00:07:11,586 --> 00:07:13,206
when it came on
the other day.
209
00:07:13,862 --> 00:07:15,586
Sam, I'm not bothered
210
00:07:15,655 --> 00:07:18,482
by you and your ex
being so sexual,
211
00:07:18,551 --> 00:07:20,896
'cause...
212
00:07:20,965 --> 00:07:22,517
we can be sexual, too.
213
00:07:22,586 --> 00:07:25,689
- Oh.
- And not just in the studios.
214
00:07:26,931 --> 00:07:28,448
Goodnight.
215
00:07:32,448 --> 00:07:33,620
- Hey, YouTubers,
it's your girl
216
00:07:33,689 --> 00:07:34,758
Chrissy-Cross comin' at you
217
00:07:34,827 --> 00:07:36,241
with that new hotness--
218
00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:38,551
a natural hair up-do.
219
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:40,896
Just follow the steps
in this tutorial,
220
00:07:40,965 --> 00:07:42,896
put on a dress that
shows off your figure,
221
00:07:42,965 --> 00:07:44,827
and get out of the house!
222
00:07:44,896 --> 00:07:46,344
- Why are you talking
like that?
223
00:07:46,413 --> 00:07:48,034
- Dang it, Tim.
Get out of the shot.
224
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,758
- Sam is gonna re-record
the Farmer Zack's jingle
225
00:07:51,827 --> 00:07:52,793
with Shannon.
226
00:07:52,862 --> 00:07:54,172
- Really?
227
00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:55,862
Sam and Molly had
such good chemistry
228
00:07:55,931 --> 00:07:57,413
in that song.
229
00:07:57,482 --> 00:07:59,482
And no offense to Shannon...
- None taken.
230
00:07:59,551 --> 00:08:00,655
- But it just won't
be the same.
231
00:08:00,724 --> 00:08:01,931
- I know.
- I mean,
232
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,344
she's a perfectly nice girl.
233
00:08:03,413 --> 00:08:05,137
- Perfectly nice.
- But you can tell
234
00:08:05,206 --> 00:08:06,655
when two people just aren't
right for each other,
235
00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:08,482
- Yeah. When Sam's around her,
236
00:08:08,551 --> 00:08:10,551
he's completely lost
his star factor.
237
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,379
- What?
- His star factor.
238
00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:14,413
That special something
that makes you go from
239
00:08:14,482 --> 00:08:17,034
a face in the crowd
to a face in lights.
240
00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:19,137
- You gonna tell him?
- No.
241
00:08:19,206 --> 00:08:21,241
I'm gonna pretend
to be supportive.
242
00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:22,827
- Good for you.
243
00:08:22,896 --> 00:08:24,689
Now get out of here.
I'm making a tutorial.
244
00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:28,275
And don't cross through
in the background.
245
00:08:28,344 --> 00:08:29,793
- Why not?
246
00:08:29,862 --> 00:08:31,310
- 'Cause when you do,
247
00:08:31,379 --> 00:08:33,862
people in the comments section
roast you.
248
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,620
I mean, they light you up.
249
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:38,689
- [scoffs] Like I care what
people who watch your tutorials
250
00:08:38,758 --> 00:08:40,344
say about me.
251
00:08:40,413 --> 00:08:41,551
What is one?
252
00:08:43,137 --> 00:08:45,413
- "When did Chucky grow up
and get ugly?"
253
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:47,586
- Chucky grow up to get ugly?!
254
00:08:47,655 --> 00:08:49,793
Chucky's ugly as a boy!
255
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,586
Bad logic. Next.
256
00:08:51,655 --> 00:08:52,758
- [sighs]
257
00:08:52,827 --> 00:08:54,689
"Look like the McRib is back."
258
00:08:54,758 --> 00:08:56,724
- [sputtering]
How am I a McRib?!
259
00:08:56,793 --> 00:08:59,517
I'm a man with a big old hog!
260
00:08:59,586 --> 00:09:01,827
Put that in the video!
I--I don't care.
261
00:09:01,896 --> 00:09:04,448
Ha, ha, that's--
I don't care.
262
00:09:04,517 --> 00:09:05,827
- Okay, then.
263
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,862
Hey, YouTubers,
it's your girl,
264
00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:11,344
Chrissy Cross, coming to--
265
00:09:11,413 --> 00:09:12,482
- What you got to say
about this right here?
266
00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:14,344
- Tim, no!
267
00:09:14,413 --> 00:09:18,206
both: ♪ And it's always
bargain time at Farmer Zack's ♪
268
00:09:18,275 --> 00:09:21,310
- ♪ You'll get
your nickels back ♪
269
00:09:21,379 --> 00:09:26,000
both: ♪ Yeah, it's always
bargain time at Farmer Zack's ♪
270
00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:29,517
- ♪ Farmer Zaaaa... ♪
271
00:09:29,586 --> 00:09:31,896
♪ Aaaack's ♪
272
00:09:31,965 --> 00:09:35,172
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
273
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,862
♪ Yeah ♪
Whoo!
274
00:09:36,931 --> 00:09:38,551
In His name. How was that?
275
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:39,724
- That was great, babe.
276
00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:42,482
- Good?
- Great job!
277
00:09:42,551 --> 00:09:43,655
Great job.
278
00:09:43,724 --> 00:09:45,758
- That wasn't sexy.
279
00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:47,172
- Not at all.
280
00:09:47,241 --> 00:09:49,000
It was like feeling up a girl
281
00:09:49,068 --> 00:09:50,379
and there's turds in her bra.
282
00:09:50,448 --> 00:09:51,758
- Turds in her bra?
283
00:09:51,827 --> 00:09:53,275
Why would she have
turds in her bra?
284
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,034
- It's a prank, idiot.
285
00:09:56,103 --> 00:09:57,310
- Ugh.
286
00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,862
♪ ♪ Farmer Zaaaa... ♪
287
00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:02,517
♪ Aaaack's ♪
288
00:10:05,241 --> 00:10:06,931
- I don't like it, guys.
289
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,586
It's not making me horny.
290
00:10:08,655 --> 00:10:10,344
- I'm sorry?
- It didn't give me wood.
291
00:10:10,413 --> 00:10:13,965
Look. No wood.
Flat as a board. You know?
292
00:10:14,034 --> 00:10:16,827
Well, that's a piss dot
right there.
293
00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:19,275
Sometimes when I urine,
I don't stop it all the way.
294
00:10:19,344 --> 00:10:22,206
And, you know, it comes out
on my clothes.
295
00:10:22,275 --> 00:10:23,620
I mean, I don't know
what you guys did.
296
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,413
You did something
different, but--
297
00:10:25,482 --> 00:10:27,517
- Well, actually, we brought in
a professional singer.
298
00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,655
- Mm-mm. Bring back
that nice lady.
299
00:10:29,724 --> 00:10:31,551
What's her name? Molly.
300
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:33,896
Yeah. About this farmer thing.
301
00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:35,724
- Yeah, we gave him
the tight black shirt,
302
00:10:35,793 --> 00:10:37,344
and we gave him
the cool sunglasses.
303
00:10:37,413 --> 00:10:39,827
- Good. But you know
what I'm thinking?
304
00:10:39,896 --> 00:10:41,586
Leather pants.
305
00:10:41,655 --> 00:10:44,724
- Farmer Zack's gonna
wear leather pants?
306
00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:46,172
- And...
307
00:10:46,241 --> 00:10:48,655
a black trench coat.
308
00:10:48,724 --> 00:10:50,275
- Yeah, we can do all that.
309
00:10:50,344 --> 00:10:53,137
- Thanks, guys.
- Well, this sucks.
310
00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:55,137
I mean, re-recording the song
with my ex-girlfriend's
311
00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:56,655
gonna be much more awkward.
312
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,965
- Yeah, I completely agree.
313
00:10:58,034 --> 00:10:59,551
- I mean, the Shannon
and me version
314
00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:01,310
is better than the Molly
and me version.
315
00:11:01,379 --> 00:11:03,344
Technically.
- Yeah, technically.
316
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,034
I just Randy's probably
just coming from a place
317
00:11:06,103 --> 00:11:08,034
where he feels the other
version was more fun.
318
00:11:08,103 --> 00:11:09,379
- Yeah, I see that.
319
00:11:09,448 --> 00:11:11,172
But the version with
Shannon was great.
320
00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:13,275
[together] Technically.
- Technically it is.
321
00:11:13,344 --> 00:11:15,206
- Technically.
- Technically.
322
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:18,655
[groovy music]
323
00:11:18,724 --> 00:11:20,620
- Hey, pig.
324
00:11:20,689 --> 00:11:22,103
- Get ourselves some lettuce
and tomato,
325
00:11:22,172 --> 00:11:24,275
and we got ourselves a BLT.
326
00:11:24,344 --> 00:11:26,551
- Careful.
Before I turn this body cam off
327
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:27,965
and go to town on your ass.
328
00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:29,586
- You ain't wearing
a body cam.
329
00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:30,655
- Whoops.
330
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,862
[laughter]
331
00:11:32,931 --> 00:11:34,655
- There she is.
How are you, Molly?
332
00:11:34,724 --> 00:11:36,413
- Hey, good.
- Great to see you.
333
00:11:36,482 --> 00:11:38,551
- Good to see you too, Tim.
- Yeah.
334
00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:39,965
- Sam, you're looking well.
335
00:11:40,034 --> 00:11:41,379
- And sexy, I know.
336
00:11:41,448 --> 00:11:42,655
Molly, I need
to talk to you.
337
00:11:42,724 --> 00:11:45,206
- I'll give you some space.
338
00:11:45,275 --> 00:11:49,448
- Molly, we're shooting a new
Farmer Zack's commercial.
339
00:11:49,517 --> 00:11:52,448
And we need you to sing
the jingle again.
340
00:11:52,517 --> 00:11:54,724
- With you?
- Yeah, with me.
341
00:11:54,793 --> 00:11:55,965
- Like last time?
342
00:11:56,034 --> 00:11:56,965
- Hey, babe.
343
00:11:57,034 --> 00:11:58,068
- Like last time.
344
00:11:58,137 --> 00:11:59,655
- My name is Tim.
345
00:11:59,724 --> 00:12:01,827
- Well, I ain't seen anything
pretty as you
346
00:12:01,896 --> 00:12:02,965
in about a minute or two.
347
00:12:03,034 --> 00:12:05,482
- [chuckles]
Doubt it.
348
00:12:05,551 --> 00:12:07,103
- Shut up.
Sorry, Tim.
349
00:12:07,172 --> 00:12:08,896
- It's fine.
I actually need this right now.
350
00:12:08,965 --> 00:12:10,965
Somebody called me Chucky
on the Internet.
351
00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:13,068
- Like a handsome version
of Chucky?
352
00:12:13,137 --> 00:12:16,517
- [laughs] You. Shut up.
353
00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:17,862
[giggling]
354
00:12:17,931 --> 00:12:20,482
- Sam, the last time
we sang that song,
355
00:12:20,551 --> 00:12:21,758
we were in love.
356
00:12:21,827 --> 00:12:23,827
- Yeah, we almost
got engaged.
357
00:12:23,896 --> 00:12:25,551
I put a ring in
a piece of cake.
358
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,034
- I ate the cake.
359
00:12:27,103 --> 00:12:28,896
- And then, when we
went through your stool,
360
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,275
there were two diamond rings
in there.
361
00:12:31,344 --> 00:12:33,310
That's how I knew you
were cheating on me.
362
00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:36,000
- Sam, I'm still so
sorry about that.
363
00:12:36,068 --> 00:12:37,724
- We don't have to go
down that road.
364
00:12:37,793 --> 00:12:39,896
Just... re-record
the jingle with me, okay?
365
00:12:39,965 --> 00:12:41,827
- Yeah, sure.
366
00:12:41,896 --> 00:12:43,241
I figure I owe you one.
367
00:12:43,310 --> 00:12:45,206
- Molly?
Can I get your set of keys?
368
00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:46,724
He wants to get let out
of there.
369
00:12:46,793 --> 00:12:48,103
He wants to get a better
look at my body.
370
00:12:48,172 --> 00:12:49,758
- No! He murdered someone.
371
00:12:49,827 --> 00:12:52,689
- Ricky!
372
00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:56,206
- ♪ It's bargain time
at Farmer Zack's ♪
373
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:59,827
[giggles] ♪ Farmer Zack's ♪
374
00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:01,586
- It's just so catchy.
- [mumbling]
375
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:03,482
- ♪ If you wanna
save money... ♪
376
00:13:03,551 --> 00:13:05,344
- Maybe that's enough
singing for tonight.
377
00:13:05,413 --> 00:13:07,758
- Hey, YouTubers, it's that
Chrissy-Issy-Issy
378
00:13:07,827 --> 00:13:10,310
coming at you with
another hairstyle--
379
00:13:11,310 --> 00:13:12,689
- "I love your tutorials,
380
00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:14,172
but your husband's not
hot enough for you."
381
00:13:14,241 --> 00:13:15,931
Disagree.
382
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,758
"Gross husband."
Disagree.
383
00:13:17,827 --> 00:13:19,620
"This girl's married
to the Penguin."
384
00:13:19,689 --> 00:13:21,379
No, she's not!
Disagree!
385
00:13:21,448 --> 00:13:24,068
"Watch out, Chrissy, there's
a fat ghost in your room."
386
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,172
Bullshit!
387
00:13:25,241 --> 00:13:26,931
[exhales]
388
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,344
[grunts]
389
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:33,000
Listen up, society.
390
00:13:33,068 --> 00:13:35,068
You are now ordered
391
00:13:35,137 --> 00:13:37,206
to cease and desist the teasing
392
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,482
of one Tim Cramblin.
393
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:42,793
We are the agents of chaos.
394
00:13:42,862 --> 00:13:45,655
Stop teasing him!
395
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:48,206
- Tim, you clogged
the toilet again.
396
00:13:48,275 --> 00:13:49,551
- As if.
397
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,241
- Stop putting baby wipes
in the toilet.
398
00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:53,482
- Shut up.
- What?
399
00:13:53,551 --> 00:13:55,310
- Nothing. Sorry, sweetheart.
400
00:13:55,379 --> 00:13:58,344
- Yeah. I love the trench coat,
401
00:13:58,413 --> 00:13:59,413
the tight muscle shirt,
402
00:13:59,482 --> 00:14:00,551
the leather pants--
403
00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:03,103
oh, the shades, the shades.
404
00:14:03,172 --> 00:14:06,517
Yeah. You know what'd
be really cool?
405
00:14:06,586 --> 00:14:08,517
If we made him black.
406
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,862
- Yeah.
407
00:14:09,931 --> 00:14:11,896
- Hell yes!
And you know what?
408
00:14:11,965 --> 00:14:14,310
I wouldn't be mad
if he had a sword.
409
00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:16,068
- Yeah, but Tim, what if
Molly and I
410
00:14:16,137 --> 00:14:18,379
reach the same depths
of sexuality as last time?
411
00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:19,862
I mean, that would
be cheating, right?
412
00:14:19,931 --> 00:14:21,448
- Yeah, it would,
but you'll be fine.
413
00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:23,379
- I mean, I dressed down
to look less attractive.
414
00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:24,724
- Sorry, bud.
415
00:14:24,793 --> 00:14:26,172
You look like a friggin'
smoke show.
416
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:27,413
- I know.
I'm a hot piece of ass.
417
00:14:27,482 --> 00:14:29,000
Perfect ten.
- Mm-hmm.
418
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:30,275
- Girls want to bang me,
and guys want to be me
419
00:14:30,344 --> 00:14:31,310
being banged by them.
420
00:14:31,379 --> 00:14:32,379
- Sucks.
421
00:14:32,448 --> 00:14:33,551
- Maybe I shouldn't do this.
422
00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:35,724
- Calm down. It's just Molly.
423
00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:37,034
[elevator dings]
424
00:14:37,103 --> 00:14:39,034
[sensual jazz music]
425
00:14:39,103 --> 00:14:42,000
- ♪ Some women can
make a man ♪
426
00:14:42,068 --> 00:14:43,206
♪ ♪
427
00:14:43,275 --> 00:14:47,034
♪ A very good wife ♪
428
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:50,103
♪ But let me tell you,
crooked woman's ♪
429
00:14:50,172 --> 00:14:53,344
♪ Not worth the sacrifice ♪
430
00:14:53,413 --> 00:14:59,931
♪ ♪
431
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,758
♪ Oh well, I don't want no ♪
432
00:15:03,827 --> 00:15:05,206
♪ Crooked wom--
433
00:15:05,275 --> 00:15:06,620
- Hi, Sam.
434
00:15:06,689 --> 00:15:08,517
- Hey, Molly.
You look great.
435
00:15:08,586 --> 00:15:10,965
- Thanks. I was in
a prostitution sting.
436
00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:12,896
High-end.
437
00:15:12,965 --> 00:15:14,586
- Well, I bet you got
a lot of offers
438
00:15:14,655 --> 00:15:16,862
for HJs or BJs or whatever's
else was on the menu.
439
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:18,448
I bet they wanted it all.
440
00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:21,241
Who cares? Molly, come on.
Let's do this.
441
00:15:21,310 --> 00:15:25,344
- Okay, you two.
Make love to my ears.
442
00:15:25,413 --> 00:15:29,482
Bareback, baby. No Jimmy.
Raw dog.
443
00:15:30,965 --> 00:15:34,172
[piano music]
444
00:15:34,241 --> 00:15:35,793
- ♪ If you w--
445
00:15:35,862 --> 00:15:36,793
sorry, I, uh--
446
00:15:36,862 --> 00:15:38,344
can you start over?
447
00:15:38,413 --> 00:15:39,724
- You came in
a little late there.
448
00:15:39,793 --> 00:15:41,379
- Yeah, I did.
- [laughing]
449
00:15:41,448 --> 00:15:43,137
- Oh, my God, super cute.
450
00:15:43,206 --> 00:15:45,758
Let's do it again, okay?
Raw dog. No raincoat.
451
00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:48,448
- Sam, I like
your outfit.
452
00:15:48,517 --> 00:15:50,620
You look sexy.
453
00:15:50,689 --> 00:15:53,034
- ♪ If you want to save money ♪
454
00:15:53,103 --> 00:15:55,620
♪ More than just
some of the time ♪
455
00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:58,068
- ♪ It's an undeniable fact ♪
456
00:15:58,137 --> 00:16:03,034
- ♪ If you want to save dollars
dime after dime after dime ♪
457
00:16:03,103 --> 00:16:05,586
- ♪ It's an undeniable fact ♪
458
00:16:05,655 --> 00:16:10,310
both: ♪ And it's always bargain
time at Farmer Zack's ♪
459
00:16:10,379 --> 00:16:13,034
- ♪ You get your nickels back ♪
460
00:16:13,103 --> 00:16:17,862
both: ♪ And it's always bargain
time at Farmer Zack's ♪
461
00:16:17,931 --> 00:16:21,275
- ♪ Farmer Zack's ♪
462
00:16:21,344 --> 00:16:22,724
♪ Cupid's got a secret ♪
463
00:16:22,793 --> 00:16:25,379
♪ Chocolates just 10.99 ♪
464
00:16:25,448 --> 00:16:28,206
- ♪ Perfect for
your Valentine ♪
465
00:16:28,275 --> 00:16:30,344
- ♪ For your romantic dinner ♪
466
00:16:30,413 --> 00:16:32,965
♪ Bring home a bottle of wine ♪
467
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,517
- ♪ You'll have a really
good time ♪
468
00:16:35,586 --> 00:16:40,379
both: ♪ And it's always bargain
time at Farmer Zack's ♪
469
00:16:40,448 --> 00:16:43,413
- ♪ Farmer Zack's ♪
470
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:48,482
♪ ♪
471
00:16:52,206 --> 00:16:53,620
- Oh!
472
00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:54,758
Ladies and gentlemen,
473
00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:56,862
we have genuine wood.
474
00:16:56,931 --> 00:16:59,000
- Oh!
- Huh?
475
00:16:59,068 --> 00:17:00,241
Look at that!
476
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,068
That's a piss dot right there,
477
00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:03,620
but it's old.
478
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:06,655
[mellow music]
479
00:17:06,724 --> 00:17:13,896
♪ ♪
480
00:17:14,862 --> 00:17:17,551
- Tim, back at the studio,
481
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,689
I came.
- Cool.
482
00:17:20,758 --> 00:17:22,068
- I mean, there's
a chemistry there.
483
00:17:22,137 --> 00:17:23,724
I can't explain it.
- Yeah.
484
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,379
- I mean, Shannon's so nice.
485
00:17:25,448 --> 00:17:27,137
- So nice.
486
00:17:27,206 --> 00:17:29,344
- Tim, I don't know what to do.
487
00:17:29,413 --> 00:17:31,517
- I think you should do...
488
00:17:31,586 --> 00:17:33,827
whatever it is
you're about to do.
489
00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:35,310
- Break up with her?
490
00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:37,344
- Maybe. I mean...
491
00:17:39,482 --> 00:17:42,448
As long as you get to hit
them skins one last time.
492
00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:44,275
- Oh, Tim, come on.
What are you doing?
493
00:17:44,344 --> 00:17:46,000
Don't talk like that.
- I don't know.
494
00:17:46,068 --> 00:17:48,413
It's this hat.
It's changing me.
495
00:17:48,482 --> 00:17:49,931
- Throw it out.
496
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,275
- I tried.
497
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,275
- ♪ Sweet chariot ♪
498
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,241
♪ Comin' for to carry me... ♪
499
00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:01,896
Hey, babe.
- Hey, Shannon.
500
00:18:01,965 --> 00:18:04,275
- What's wrong?
501
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,965
- I don't think
this is working.
502
00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:08,827
- What? [chuckles]
503
00:18:08,896 --> 00:18:10,862
This is coming
out of nowhere.
504
00:18:10,931 --> 00:18:12,310
Is there something
wrong with the song?
505
00:18:12,379 --> 00:18:13,758
- No, uh... well,
506
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:15,758
we did have to re-record
the song with Molly.
507
00:18:15,827 --> 00:18:17,551
But it's only because the--
508
00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:19,586
the client thought there
was no spark in ours,
509
00:18:19,655 --> 00:18:20,896
which is kind of my point.
510
00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:22,551
There's, like,
no spark here.
511
00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:24,034
- What are you gonna do?
512
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,862
Spend the rest of your life
hanging out with Tim
513
00:18:25,931 --> 00:18:28,137
telling vulgar high school
stories about your ass
514
00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:29,275
and your testicles?
515
00:18:29,344 --> 00:18:31,000
- Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
516
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,931
I never said my balls
came out, okay?
517
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,034
I mean, they did.
518
00:18:35,103 --> 00:18:37,482
Got a huge laugh.
519
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:41,137
Look, Shannon,
you're perfect.
520
00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:44,379
But we're not perfect
for each other.
521
00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:46,034
And I don't think either of us
should settle
522
00:18:46,103 --> 00:18:47,275
for anything less.
523
00:18:47,344 --> 00:18:50,310
[reflective music]
524
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:56,793
♪ ♪
525
00:18:56,862 --> 00:18:58,482
- Sam...
526
00:18:58,551 --> 00:18:59,931
I just want you to know
527
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,758
that I never felt
like I was settling.
528
00:19:04,068 --> 00:19:05,344
- I did.
529
00:19:05,413 --> 00:19:06,758
I--I felt like I was settling.
530
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:09,827
- Damn it, Sam.
- Oh, sorry.
531
00:19:09,896 --> 00:19:11,413
S--ah, oof.
No, I'm sorry.
532
00:19:11,482 --> 00:19:12,586
- [sputters]
533
00:19:14,551 --> 00:19:15,758
- Love you.
534
00:19:16,793 --> 00:19:18,137
Oh, I'm s--
I'm sorry.
535
00:19:18,206 --> 00:19:20,310
- Listen up, society.
- Tim.
536
00:19:20,379 --> 00:19:22,931
You posted that video
under my name?
537
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,620
- No.
Cease and desist...
538
00:19:24,689 --> 00:19:27,068
Why, what happened? Did you
get hacked by Anonymous?
539
00:19:27,137 --> 00:19:28,620
- Well, I did it.
540
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:32,137
Slingin' single Sammy
is back town, baby.
541
00:19:32,206 --> 00:19:34,068
- I'm sorry, buddy.
That must've been hard.
542
00:19:34,137 --> 00:19:36,620
- It was the hardest thing I've
ever had to do in my life.
543
00:19:36,689 --> 00:19:37,896
- She was sweet.
544
00:19:37,965 --> 00:19:39,620
And Mom and Dad
will be crushed.
545
00:19:39,689 --> 00:19:41,275
But ten years from now,
546
00:19:41,344 --> 00:19:42,586
you don't want to wake up
and realize
547
00:19:42,655 --> 00:19:43,862
you married the wrong person.
548
00:19:43,931 --> 00:19:45,310
- Yep, yeah.
- That's true.
549
00:19:45,379 --> 00:19:46,482
Chrissy's right.
She could've turned out
550
00:19:46,551 --> 00:19:47,827
to be a child molester.
551
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,137
- What?
- What?
552
00:19:49,206 --> 00:19:50,655
- Well, I'm just--
I'm just saying,
553
00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:53,000
Chrissy's saying, ten years
is a long time.
554
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:54,379
A lot could happen.
555
00:19:54,448 --> 00:19:55,862
She could turned into
a child molester.
556
00:19:55,931 --> 00:19:57,551
- That is not what I'm saying.
557
00:19:57,620 --> 00:19:59,206
- Tim, how do you "turn into"
a child molester?
558
00:19:59,275 --> 00:20:01,655
- Uh, you get molested
by one, Sam.
559
00:20:01,724 --> 00:20:03,655
- It's not like getting
bit by a werewolf.
560
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:05,724
- Uh, whatever,
I'm just agreeing,
561
00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:08,000
Mom and Dad are
gonna be crushed.
562
00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:10,482
Hey, to Shannon.
563
00:20:10,551 --> 00:20:11,931
- To Shannon.
- To Shannon.
564
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,482
- God bless her.
565
00:20:14,551 --> 00:20:16,827
Get her off these streets
before she [bleep] a kid.
566
00:20:16,896 --> 00:20:19,000
- Baby, no.
567
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,862
- ♪ And it's always
bargain time ♪
568
00:20:21,931 --> 00:20:23,724
♪ At Farmer Zack's ♪
569
00:20:23,793 --> 00:20:26,586
- ♪ Farmer Zack's ♪
570
00:20:26,655 --> 00:20:27,689
♪ ♪
571
00:20:27,758 --> 00:20:29,758
- Whoa! Was that Blade?
572
00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:31,620
Blade is so freaking cool.
573
00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:34,413
And now moving onto
the lighter side of the news,
574
00:20:34,482 --> 00:20:36,206
what's actually in
your dog's food?
575
00:20:36,275 --> 00:20:38,931
The surprising answer might
make you rethink
576
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,344
eating dog food.
577
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:43,448
[techno music]
578
00:20:43,517 --> 00:20:50,655
♪ ♪
579
00:21:03,068 --> 00:21:03,965
Mike!
580
00:21:04,034 --> 00:21:05,379
Don't you do--
581
00:21:05,448 --> 00:21:07,103
don't you do it!
582
00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:16,965
[both mumbling]
583
00:21:18,413 --> 00:21:19,758
- Uh-huh.
584
00:21:21,827 --> 00:21:24,137
- Right. Right.
585
00:21:24,206 --> 00:21:25,689
- Well, I'll be danged.
40658
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