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1
00:00:10,241 --> 00:00:12,137
[upbeat, funky music]
2
00:00:12,172 --> 00:00:15,034
♪
3
00:00:15,068 --> 00:00:16,586
- This is delicious,
Mrs. Cramblin.
4
00:00:16,620 --> 00:00:21,413
- I know it's terrible, honey,
but thank you.
5
00:00:21,448 --> 00:00:22,758
- No, he said it was delicious.
6
00:00:22,793 --> 00:00:24,931
- Oh, Trevor, do you wanna
join us for Sunday dinner?
7
00:00:24,965 --> 00:00:26,551
- [sucks teeth] No can do.
8
00:00:26,586 --> 00:00:29,000
- Trevor, your mother
invited you to sit down.
9
00:00:29,034 --> 00:00:31,172
Sit down.
- Hey, uh, Jerry,
10
00:00:31,206 --> 00:00:34,172
why don't--why don't you
eat my ass?
11
00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:36,275
- Rude.
12
00:00:36,310 --> 00:00:38,068
- What is he still doing
in the house?
13
00:00:38,103 --> 00:00:39,206
I thought he moved
into the house
14
00:00:39,241 --> 00:00:40,896
with, like, 15 of his friends.
15
00:00:40,931 --> 00:00:42,482
- It didn't work out.
16
00:00:42,517 --> 00:00:45,793
They turned out all
to be backstabbers and liars.
17
00:00:45,827 --> 00:00:47,034
All 15 of them.
18
00:00:47,068 --> 00:00:48,862
They were nasty to him.
19
00:00:48,896 --> 00:00:50,413
- Boy needs a job.
- Jerry.
20
00:00:50,448 --> 00:00:52,827
- He got fired from Le Shish?
- My dad got him that job.
21
00:00:52,862 --> 00:00:54,068
- It wasn't his fault.
22
00:00:54,103 --> 00:00:55,482
They were nasty to him.
23
00:00:55,517 --> 00:00:57,413
They wouldn't let him choose
what time he came in.
24
00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,034
- So he just didn't show up,
is what you're saying?
25
00:00:59,068 --> 00:01:03,758
- Honestly, he has to sleep in
or he'll lose his voice.
26
00:01:03,793 --> 00:01:07,068
Besides, he doesn't have time
for a job.
27
00:01:07,103 --> 00:01:09,827
He's very busy with Rochu.
28
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,448
- What is Rochu?
29
00:01:11,482 --> 00:01:14,137
- Rochu is an Ultra Beast
Trevor created.
30
00:01:14,172 --> 00:01:16,517
Look at the beautiful
pictures he makes.
31
00:01:16,551 --> 00:01:18,724
- Mom, don't put that
on the fridge!
32
00:01:18,758 --> 00:01:21,137
- The details are fantastic,
Chrissy.
33
00:01:21,172 --> 00:01:25,517
Now, Rochu is the king
of the Banglo people.
34
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:29,103
And he defeated Malgor
in the Battle of Light.
35
00:01:29,137 --> 00:01:31,206
- Oh.
- He's a Lich Priest.
36
00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:32,344
Uh--is that how
you say it, Jerry?
37
00:01:32,379 --> 00:01:34,344
Am I--Lich--Lich Priest?
38
00:01:34,379 --> 00:01:35,551
- I don't freakin' know.
39
00:01:35,586 --> 00:01:37,275
It's a bunch of cartoons
with their dicks out.
40
00:01:37,310 --> 00:01:38,965
- Jerry!
- They are, Sue.
41
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,758
Some artist.
Asked him to draw
42
00:01:40,793 --> 00:01:42,758
a picture of his mother and me
in Wings jerseys,
43
00:01:42,793 --> 00:01:45,551
he gives me a freakin'
drippin' hog.
44
00:01:45,586 --> 00:01:48,206
- Chrissy, you should see
the details on that hog.
45
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,827
It's as if he's seen it.
46
00:01:50,862 --> 00:01:54,827
Down...to...the...veins.
47
00:01:54,862 --> 00:01:56,000
- ♪ Next time
48
00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:57,379
♪ When they ask you
49
00:01:57,413 --> 00:01:59,310
♪ Where you're from
50
00:01:59,344 --> 00:02:00,965
♪ You gon' say Detroit city
51
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:05,620
♪ When we get back on
our feet, yeah ♪
52
00:02:05,655 --> 00:02:06,689
♪ Yeah
53
00:02:06,724 --> 00:02:10,517
- Oh, honey,
that was great.
54
00:02:10,551 --> 00:02:14,241
- I'll clean up.
[all protesting]
55
00:02:14,275 --> 00:02:15,758
No, no, no, stop.
No, no, no, stop, stop.
56
00:02:15,793 --> 00:02:17,413
I said stop!
57
00:02:17,448 --> 00:02:18,551
I said I'd clean up.
58
00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:21,310
Put it back!
- Yeah.
59
00:02:21,344 --> 00:02:22,862
- Here. Give me that.
60
00:02:24,379 --> 00:02:25,758
- Sam, you got two answers
61
00:02:25,793 --> 00:02:27,931
when a woman
tells you what to do.
62
00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:31,241
"Okay," and "Yes, honey."
63
00:02:31,275 --> 00:02:33,206
- Is that Tim Allen?
64
00:02:33,241 --> 00:02:35,862
- Yes, it is.
- Oh, okay, yeah.
65
00:02:37,793 --> 00:02:39,206
- Excuse me, I'd like to
sit down, please.
66
00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:40,758
- [scoffs] I was
sitting here first.
67
00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:42,172
- I don't care.
This is the spot I want.
68
00:02:42,206 --> 00:02:44,379
- I don't care.
- Well, there it is.
69
00:02:44,413 --> 00:02:46,068
- Move--
- So.
70
00:02:46,103 --> 00:02:47,931
- Ohh! [coughing]
71
00:02:47,965 --> 00:02:50,275
You only hit me in my stomach
after I just ate,
72
00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:52,034
you frickin' idiot!
- Then I'll never get to
73
00:02:52,068 --> 00:02:53,620
hit your fat ass.
- Ohh. Well, you shouldn't hit,
74
00:02:53,655 --> 00:02:55,034
you bag of bolts.
- Whatever.
75
00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:56,827
- God, I miss freakin'
Shanahan.
76
00:02:59,068 --> 00:03:00,551
- Mom, you can't
just let Trevor
77
00:03:00,586 --> 00:03:01,620
move back into the house
78
00:03:01,655 --> 00:03:03,103
every time he screws up.
79
00:03:03,137 --> 00:03:04,689
- Tim, he isn't like you.
80
00:03:04,724 --> 00:03:06,448
You weren't here
for the divorce.
81
00:03:06,482 --> 00:03:07,793
That affected Trevor.
82
00:03:07,827 --> 00:03:10,551
- He was 18. He should've
already been out of the house.
83
00:03:10,586 --> 00:03:13,172
- I don't know what to do.
84
00:03:13,206 --> 00:03:14,620
I'm trying.
85
00:03:14,655 --> 00:03:17,241
Him and Jerry are at
each other's throats.
86
00:03:17,275 --> 00:03:19,241
Trevor tosses him around
like a ragdoll.
87
00:03:19,275 --> 00:03:20,758
He has your father's strength.
88
00:03:20,793 --> 00:03:22,655
He hit Jerry in the back of
the head with a chair
89
00:03:22,689 --> 00:03:24,137
and then Rock Bottomed him.
90
00:03:24,172 --> 00:03:25,310
- He Rock Bottomed him?
- Yes.
91
00:03:25,344 --> 00:03:26,586
- That's a finisher.
92
00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:28,896
- He needs motivation.
Like you.
93
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:32,206
What if you gave him
a job at the office?
94
00:03:32,241 --> 00:03:35,034
- [groans]
- Show him how it's done.
95
00:03:35,068 --> 00:03:36,586
- Ah--
96
00:03:36,620 --> 00:03:38,034
Maybe some structure
would be good for him.
97
00:03:38,068 --> 00:03:39,862
- And he could stay with you
and Chrissy for a while.
98
00:03:39,896 --> 00:03:42,586
- Oh!
- Just to get him started.
99
00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:44,551
Transition is very hard
for Trevor.
100
00:03:44,586 --> 00:03:46,103
- Oh, Mom.
- That way he could
101
00:03:46,137 --> 00:03:47,586
go straight to work with you.
102
00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:49,551
75 is a nightmare
in the morning.
103
00:03:49,586 --> 00:03:50,896
He hits traffic,
he turns around
104
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,344
and goes to the Taco Bell.
- Oh.
105
00:03:53,379 --> 00:03:55,034
I'll run it by Sam and Chrissy.
106
00:03:57,586 --> 00:03:58,827
It'll be fine.
- Oh!
107
00:03:58,862 --> 00:04:00,344
- I could talk to him.
It'll be fine.
108
00:04:00,379 --> 00:04:01,827
- Oh, Timmy!
Thank you.
109
00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:03,586
You're a very good brother.
110
00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:05,137
- Love you, Mom.
- Very good.
111
00:04:05,172 --> 00:04:07,103
[playing keyboard]
112
00:04:07,137 --> 00:04:08,689
- Hey, bud. What's up?
113
00:04:08,724 --> 00:04:09,724
- Do not enter
without knocking.
114
00:04:09,758 --> 00:04:11,068
Go back out and try again.
115
00:04:11,103 --> 00:04:12,551
- No, I'm not gonna do that.
I'm already in here, Trevor.
116
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,034
That's stupid.
117
00:04:15,068 --> 00:04:18,758
Hey, um, Mom told me
that you were in between jobs
118
00:04:18,793 --> 00:04:21,310
and we have an opening
at Cramblin Duvet.
119
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:23,965
- Oh, what happened? Did Sam
get chronic diarrhea and die?
120
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,413
- No, don't even joke
about Sam's death.
121
00:04:25,448 --> 00:04:26,827
We're gonna die
at the same exact time.
122
00:04:26,862 --> 00:04:29,517
Even if we're miles apart,
our hearts will just know.
123
00:04:29,551 --> 00:04:31,034
You can stay
with me and Chrissy.
124
00:04:31,068 --> 00:04:34,000
I think we could really use
your help around the office.
125
00:04:34,034 --> 00:04:35,862
You know, I could show you
how it's done.
126
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,965
- Actually, I don't need
to be shown how it's done.
127
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,344
I know how it's done.
128
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:40,896
- Well, you don't know
how it's done,
129
00:04:40,931 --> 00:04:42,172
but I think with
a little bit of work,
130
00:04:42,206 --> 00:04:43,241
you'd be pretty good at it.
131
00:04:43,275 --> 00:04:44,482
- Yes, I do know
how it's done
132
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:45,862
and I could do advertising
in my sleep.
133
00:04:45,896 --> 00:04:47,137
- You're actually not good
at advertising.
134
00:04:47,172 --> 00:04:48,172
You've never done it before,
135
00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:49,482
so how would you know
if you're good at it?
136
00:04:49,517 --> 00:04:50,586
- I do know how to do it.
137
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:51,586
- Okay, well then,
do it, then.
138
00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:53,103
- Fine, shithead!
I'll do it!
139
00:04:53,137 --> 00:04:54,896
- Do not call me a shithead!
140
00:04:54,931 --> 00:04:57,655
I'm giving you a job,
a place to live!
141
00:04:57,689 --> 00:04:59,862
- Oh, my God.
Wow, thank you so much.
142
00:04:59,896 --> 00:05:01,758
- Oh, thank you!
- Oh, Mother Theresa!
143
00:05:01,793 --> 00:05:03,000
I need to offer my body to you.
- Oh, thank you.
144
00:05:03,034 --> 00:05:04,689
Thank you so much.
Okay, come on. Let's go!
145
00:05:04,724 --> 00:05:06,344
Grab your stuff.
- What?
146
00:05:06,379 --> 00:05:08,448
- Come on, Trevor. What--
you need to pack, don't you?
147
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:09,689
- Oh, my God. Yeah.
- Don't you need
148
00:05:09,724 --> 00:05:11,068
to pack some stuff, buddy?
- I gotta pack, yeah.
149
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,655
Oh, yeah, I gotta--
- Don't hit the dresser!
150
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:14,931
- Shut up!
- That used to be yours
151
00:05:14,965 --> 00:05:17,379
as a baby!
- That's my dresser!
152
00:05:17,413 --> 00:05:20,137
- Trevor, pack your deodorant.
153
00:05:23,068 --> 00:05:25,551
Pack your deodorant I got you
for Christmas!
154
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,241
Thank you!
155
00:05:27,275 --> 00:05:29,137
You don't need
your Slipknot mask.
156
00:05:29,172 --> 00:05:31,137
- Yes, I do!
- When are you gonna use it?
157
00:05:31,172 --> 00:05:32,103
- Take a shower.
158
00:05:32,137 --> 00:05:33,413
- You take a shower
in a Slipknot mask?
159
00:05:33,448 --> 00:05:36,034
- Yes! Shut up!
- You shut the fuck up!
160
00:05:36,068 --> 00:05:37,137
[both screaming]
161
00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:38,413
- Morning, Sheila.
162
00:05:38,448 --> 00:05:40,482
- Gentlemen.
163
00:05:40,517 --> 00:05:43,862
- Trevor!
My favorite Cramblin.
164
00:05:43,896 --> 00:05:46,379
- A flower for the lady.
Here you go, ma'am.
165
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:49,620
- Oh, ohh, Trevor,
just like your father.
166
00:05:49,655 --> 00:05:52,172
It's been a while,
but I've kept
167
00:05:52,206 --> 00:05:54,000
your favorite game
in my desk all these years.
168
00:05:54,034 --> 00:05:58,275
- Oh, my God!
A frickin'--a Game Guy?
169
00:05:58,310 --> 00:05:59,862
Yes!
- Hey, guys.
170
00:05:59,896 --> 00:06:01,862
- Tommy, this is
my brother, Trevor.
171
00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:02,896
- Nice to meet you, Trevor.
172
00:06:02,931 --> 00:06:05,275
- Hey, Tommy.
What's up?
173
00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:06,965
- What's up?
174
00:06:08,965 --> 00:06:10,827
What's up?
175
00:06:12,965 --> 00:06:13,965
What's...
176
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,000
up?
177
00:06:16,034 --> 00:06:18,000
What's up?
- Has Tommy never heard
178
00:06:18,034 --> 00:06:19,206
the phrase, "What's up?"
before?
179
00:06:19,241 --> 00:06:21,862
- I mean, he seems
pretty frickin' rocked.
180
00:06:21,896 --> 00:06:26,206
- Hey, Lea.
What's...up?
181
00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:27,517
What's up?
182
00:06:27,551 --> 00:06:30,310
- Jake Tipper
from Tipper's Jewelry
183
00:06:30,344 --> 00:06:31,586
is in your office waiting.
184
00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:33,275
- Great. Trevor, you wanna
sit in on this one,
185
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,620
see how it's done?
186
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,620
- Whoa. I mean,
Tipper's Jewelry seems
187
00:06:36,655 --> 00:06:38,724
pretty big
for Trevor's first day.
188
00:06:38,758 --> 00:06:40,137
- Oh, he's gonna be fine.
He's just gonna watch.
189
00:06:40,172 --> 00:06:42,241
- Won't say a word.
- Unbelievable.
190
00:06:42,275 --> 00:06:44,137
- Hear that, Trevor?
Don't say a word in here.
191
00:06:44,172 --> 00:06:45,482
- Yeah.
- Trevor!
192
00:06:45,517 --> 00:06:47,448
- Hm?
- Good luck, Trevor.
193
00:06:47,482 --> 00:06:49,448
- So then the guy
gets down on one knee,
194
00:06:49,482 --> 00:06:51,241
pulls out a jewelry box.
195
00:06:51,275 --> 00:06:56,068
In it is a note
that says, "IOU one diamond."
196
00:06:56,103 --> 00:06:58,241
- And the woman looks at him
and says,
197
00:06:58,275 --> 00:07:01,172
"Maybe I should reconsider."
[both laugh]
198
00:07:01,206 --> 00:07:05,724
- You owe it to yourself
to shop at Tipper's Jewelry.
199
00:07:07,275 --> 00:07:08,413
- That's cute.
200
00:07:08,448 --> 00:07:10,172
- What? Okay, uh,
201
00:07:10,206 --> 00:07:12,137
a girl's taking
her friends out to lunch.
202
00:07:12,172 --> 00:07:15,448
We pan around the table,
and reveal all of her friends
203
00:07:15,482 --> 00:07:17,586
are diamonds.
204
00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:20,620
Diamonds are
a girl's best friend.
205
00:07:20,655 --> 00:07:23,241
- [chuckles] Eh.
206
00:07:23,275 --> 00:07:25,655
- What?
- We have--we have other ones.
207
00:07:25,689 --> 00:07:26,965
Uh, this one's funny.
- He doesn't want
208
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,482
funny ideas, idiots.
- Shut up, Trevor!
209
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,689
I'm sorry--
I'm sorry about that.
210
00:07:32,724 --> 00:07:34,724
- A diamond costs, what?
Three months' salary?
211
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:35,827
- Wait, what are you--
- You think people
212
00:07:35,862 --> 00:07:38,379
wanna joke about that?
- Go on.
213
00:07:38,413 --> 00:07:40,344
- Guy comes home
from the store,
214
00:07:40,379 --> 00:07:42,034
he's carrying a grocery bag.
[sentimental music]
215
00:07:42,068 --> 00:07:44,344
He opens up the door,
he sees his wife,
216
00:07:44,379 --> 00:07:45,896
she's holding the baby.
217
00:07:45,931 --> 00:07:47,620
He reaches inside
the grocery bag
218
00:07:47,655 --> 00:07:49,172
and he pulls out
a diamond pendant.
219
00:07:49,206 --> 00:07:51,931
She's like, "Why?
It's not our anniversary."
220
00:07:51,965 --> 00:07:55,758
And he says, "I don't need a
reason to give you a diamond."
221
00:07:55,793 --> 00:07:58,827
Tipper's: She's the only reason
you need.
222
00:08:00,482 --> 00:08:02,103
- [chuckles] That's it.
223
00:08:02,137 --> 00:08:05,896
- And maybe the baby
craps itself.
224
00:08:05,931 --> 00:08:07,517
'Cause it should be
a little bit funny, I think.
225
00:08:07,551 --> 00:08:10,310
- Ehh, that's perfect.
226
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:14,103
- You've cut the shit
out of your lip, sir.
227
00:08:14,137 --> 00:08:15,896
- Oh. Yeah.
228
00:08:15,931 --> 00:08:17,724
- Ah, Sheila's got
some tissues,
229
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,551
if you just follow me.
- All right.
230
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,689
- Price of having
those rings, huh?
231
00:08:21,724 --> 00:08:23,206
- [chuckles]
232
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:25,482
- That was really good.
- Yeah.
233
00:08:25,517 --> 00:08:26,758
- You know who he
reminds me of?
234
00:08:26,793 --> 00:08:28,586
- Yeah, your dad.
235
00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:30,931
- No. I remind you
of my dad.
236
00:08:30,965 --> 00:08:34,206
- Yeah, but--
- Hey, guys. What's...up?
237
00:08:34,241 --> 00:08:37,068
- Tommy, I need you to get
the frickin' hell out of here.
238
00:08:40,310 --> 00:08:43,965
♪
239
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,000
- Hey, babe.
- Hey, baby.
240
00:08:47,034 --> 00:08:49,551
- Trevor actually did
really, really good today.
241
00:08:49,586 --> 00:08:51,655
- He did?
- Jake Tipper's gonna
242
00:08:51,689 --> 00:08:53,068
use one of his ideas
for a commercial.
243
00:08:53,103 --> 00:08:55,068
[video game gunfire]
It was amazing.
244
00:08:55,103 --> 00:08:56,931
[explosion booms]
Sam said he reminded him of me.
245
00:08:56,965 --> 00:08:59,448
- That's nice, but can you
please tell him
246
00:08:59,482 --> 00:09:02,310
to turn that damn game down?
- Yes. Sorry.
247
00:09:05,793 --> 00:09:08,000
[gunfire]
Hey, pal?
248
00:09:08,034 --> 00:09:09,862
Great job today,
but can you turn down
249
00:09:09,896 --> 00:09:11,137
"Call of Duty," buddy?
250
00:09:11,172 --> 00:09:12,344
- It's "Battlefield," idiot.
251
00:09:12,379 --> 00:09:13,827
I gotta hear people's
footsteps.
252
00:09:13,862 --> 00:09:15,275
You want me to get fragged
like a noob?
253
00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:16,827
- It's just a game, Trevor!
254
00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:18,034
- No, it's not!
255
00:09:18,068 --> 00:09:19,586
They use this
to train NAVY SEALs.
256
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:22,103
- Oh, so the NAVY SEALs
play "Battlefield" all day?
257
00:09:22,137 --> 00:09:23,551
- Yes, they do!
- And that's how
258
00:09:23,586 --> 00:09:26,137
they killed Bin Laden.
259
00:09:26,172 --> 00:09:27,862
- No, this is actually
how they killed Bin Laden.
260
00:09:27,896 --> 00:09:29,724
Boom!
- You don't fucking touch me
261
00:09:29,758 --> 00:09:32,448
ever, you piece of shit!
- Ahh! Uhh! Uhh!
262
00:09:32,482 --> 00:09:34,448
Ow! Ohh! Ohh!
- I didn't even touch you.
263
00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:36,689
- Oh, my--ahh!
- There! That hard enough?
264
00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:38,862
- Ah! Ohh!
265
00:09:38,896 --> 00:09:40,206
- Get off my back!
266
00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:43,310
- Dumbasses.
I should kick both they--
267
00:09:45,137 --> 00:09:47,137
Can I just stay here
a little bit?
268
00:09:47,172 --> 00:09:49,827
- [laughs] Not on your
fucking life.
269
00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:53,965
- [sighs] Well, I guess I'll
leave if you can make me move.
270
00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:58,655
- What the frick--ahh!
271
00:09:58,689 --> 00:09:59,896
Ahh!
272
00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:01,655
How are you so frickin' heavy?
273
00:10:01,689 --> 00:10:04,275
Ehh--frickin' whale, go home!
- Get off of me, Trevor!
274
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,586
- I can't!
- Get the hell off--oh!
275
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:07,724
Ahh! Ahh!
276
00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:10,689
Get off me,
you fricking psychopath!
277
00:10:10,724 --> 00:10:12,000
Ugh! [spits]
278
00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:14,103
[both screaming]
- Fine. Stay.
279
00:10:14,137 --> 00:10:16,655
But don't talk
during my stories.
280
00:10:16,689 --> 00:10:19,482
[upbeat dance music]
281
00:10:19,517 --> 00:10:22,137
- R.J. Watkins on
"The New Dance Show."
282
00:10:22,172 --> 00:10:24,103
I always knew this--
we could do this.
283
00:10:24,137 --> 00:10:25,344
Let's do it.
- That's R.J. Watkins.
284
00:10:25,379 --> 00:10:27,551
He's the host with the most.
Who cares? Shut up.
285
00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,034
♪
286
00:10:29,068 --> 00:10:31,793
- You idiot!
- You're gonna paralyze me!
287
00:10:31,827 --> 00:10:32,827
- Ahh!
- I'm gonna beat the--
288
00:10:32,862 --> 00:10:34,137
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah!
289
00:10:34,172 --> 00:10:35,793
- Oh!
- Say what you will,
290
00:10:35,827 --> 00:10:37,896
I've never hit you
with a stick.
291
00:10:37,931 --> 00:10:40,724
- Yes, you have.
[fighting sounds continue]
292
00:10:40,758 --> 00:10:42,724
- Oh, yeah, I have.
293
00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:45,413
♪
294
00:10:45,448 --> 00:10:47,482
- You idiot!
- Welcome to the jungle!
295
00:10:47,517 --> 00:10:49,344
- So we've cast a real life
husband and wife team
296
00:10:49,379 --> 00:10:51,137
to play the husband
and wife in the commercial.
297
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:53,758
That way when they kiss,
they can really go at it.
298
00:10:53,793 --> 00:10:55,172
- I don't want them
to really go at it.
299
00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:57,413
- Yeah, uh--well,
not a problem.
300
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,034
I mean, we had 'em really
go at it in the audition,
301
00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:00,310
so we can pull back.
302
00:11:00,344 --> 00:11:01,655
- You know,
I did have a question
303
00:11:01,689 --> 00:11:03,758
about the grocery bag surprise.
304
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,068
- Yeah, uh,
what's the question?
305
00:11:05,103 --> 00:11:07,241
- Actually, where's
the young man that--
306
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,896
who came up with the idea?
307
00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:11,586
- Uh, I can go get him.
308
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:13,275
Just one second. [sighs]
309
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:16,275
Trevor!
310
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:17,000
Get in here!
311
00:11:17,034 --> 00:11:19,655
Put your shirt on!
312
00:11:19,689 --> 00:11:22,103
- So Jake, I don't know
if I made it very clear
313
00:11:22,137 --> 00:11:23,206
when I was talking about
the diamonds
314
00:11:23,241 --> 00:11:24,448
are a girl's best
friend commercial.
315
00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:26,172
The diamonds would actually
be animated.
316
00:11:26,206 --> 00:11:27,379
You know, they would
each be, like,
317
00:11:27,413 --> 00:11:28,551
a different kind
of personality.
318
00:11:28,586 --> 00:11:30,241
Like, there'd be, like,
an old lady, uh,
319
00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:31,655
like, sassy old lady diamond.
320
00:11:31,689 --> 00:11:34,482
And, like, a dumb diamond,
you know what I'm saying?
321
00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:36,000
- Sit down. Talk to him.
322
00:11:38,137 --> 00:11:40,551
Here he is, Jake.
323
00:11:40,586 --> 00:11:44,689
- I was wondering if it
shouldn't be a grocery bag,
324
00:11:44,724 --> 00:11:46,931
but a bag from Tipper's.
325
00:11:46,965 --> 00:11:48,310
That way, it's less confusing.
326
00:11:48,344 --> 00:11:49,482
- Yeah, I mean,
we could do that.
327
00:11:49,517 --> 00:11:50,931
Just kinda replace
the grocery bag
328
00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:52,103
with, like,
a nice Tipper's bag.
329
00:11:52,137 --> 00:11:53,724
That'd be better, in fact,
I think.
330
00:11:53,758 --> 00:11:56,379
'Cause that way, you know,
it'll say Tipper's on the bag.
331
00:11:56,413 --> 00:11:59,620
- No, Sam, it's gotta be a
regular, every day grocery bag.
332
00:11:59,655 --> 00:12:02,275
It's gotta have this feeling
that you can buy jewelry
333
00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:04,620
at any time--when you're coming
home from the grocery store,
334
00:12:04,655 --> 00:12:07,344
after you bought milk, egg,
cheese, beef.
335
00:12:07,379 --> 00:12:10,413
- Yeah, like a--a diamond
in the ruffage, if you will.
336
00:12:10,448 --> 00:12:12,206
- No.
- You don't say no to me
337
00:12:12,241 --> 00:12:14,517
in the middle
of the pitch.
338
00:12:14,551 --> 00:12:16,000
- I'm sold.
339
00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:18,103
Grocery bag.
340
00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:19,965
[light music]
341
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,551
- Hey, Chrissy.
342
00:12:21,586 --> 00:12:23,103
I just wanna thank you
for being so understanding
343
00:12:23,137 --> 00:12:24,275
about Trevor.
344
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,413
I know he can be
a pain in the ass,
345
00:12:25,448 --> 00:12:28,827
but I really think
this has been good for us.
346
00:12:28,862 --> 00:12:31,413
Thank you, my sweetie--
347
00:12:31,448 --> 00:12:33,931
[both scream]
348
00:12:33,965 --> 00:12:35,206
- Why so serious?
349
00:12:35,241 --> 00:12:37,448
- You freaking psycho!
350
00:12:37,482 --> 00:12:39,344
Get out of my wife's pajamas!
351
00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:41,689
- Make me pregnant!
- You're not my wife, idiot.
352
00:12:41,724 --> 00:12:44,137
- I wanna be pregnant!
- I know my wife's not a clown!
353
00:12:44,172 --> 00:12:45,137
- Yes!
- I know my wife's not a clown!
354
00:12:45,172 --> 00:12:47,206
- Do me, please!
Give me a son!
355
00:12:47,241 --> 00:12:49,689
- I can't!
- Give me a clown son!
356
00:12:49,724 --> 00:12:52,965
[dance music]
357
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,206
♪
358
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,275
- R.J. Watkins on
"The New Dance Show."
359
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,379
Let's do it.
On the dance line.
360
00:12:59,413 --> 00:13:01,413
- Who's your favorite dancer?
361
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,344
- General Get down.
He's a general.
362
00:13:03,379 --> 00:13:05,655
He's the best.
- Well, yeah.
363
00:13:05,689 --> 00:13:06,965
General Get Down's great.
364
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,448
You know he's a bagger
at Farmer Zack's?
365
00:13:08,482 --> 00:13:11,827
And Millionaire Greg
is Dad's mailman.
366
00:13:11,862 --> 00:13:15,000
- Who's your favorite?
367
00:13:15,034 --> 00:13:18,137
- I'd have to say Seductra.
368
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:21,482
- Of course you like Seductra.
369
00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:23,793
- She's a really great dancer.
370
00:13:23,827 --> 00:13:26,137
- Mm-hmm.
371
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:27,896
Seductra can dance.
372
00:13:27,931 --> 00:13:30,862
- Uh, yeah.
Just a little bit.
373
00:13:30,896 --> 00:13:33,241
- [screaming]
- Look at me!
374
00:13:33,275 --> 00:13:35,896
Look at me, Trevor!
I'm proud of you!
375
00:13:35,931 --> 00:13:37,068
I'm proud of you!
376
00:13:37,103 --> 00:13:39,931
[both panting]
377
00:13:39,965 --> 00:13:43,379
You're more like Dad
than I am.
378
00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:46,448
And it kills me
to admit that.
379
00:13:46,482 --> 00:13:49,241
I'm proud of you, Slipknot.
380
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,758
- Really?
381
00:13:52,793 --> 00:13:55,620
- Yeah.
382
00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:57,413
Ohh!
383
00:13:57,448 --> 00:14:00,586
[screaming]
384
00:14:06,551 --> 00:14:09,206
- Hey, babe.
You're up early.
385
00:14:09,241 --> 00:14:12,206
- Big day today. Trevor's first
commercial shoot.
386
00:14:12,241 --> 00:14:13,448
Trevor!
[clapping]
387
00:14:13,482 --> 00:14:15,448
Let's go!
Let's go, Trevor!
388
00:14:15,482 --> 00:14:19,379
Up, up!
Wakey, wakey, let's go, pal--
389
00:14:19,413 --> 00:14:20,758
Damn it!
390
00:14:23,034 --> 00:14:25,310
Jizz.
391
00:14:25,344 --> 00:14:26,689
Fucking jizz.
392
00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:34,448
- Hey, Mom.
- Trevor told me
393
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:36,517
you were nasty to him.
- Why didn't he show up?
394
00:14:36,551 --> 00:14:38,586
Came crawling back to you?
Couldn't take it?
395
00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:40,586
- You were supposed to
show him the ropes!
396
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:42,482
Not work him to death!
He's a kid!
397
00:14:42,517 --> 00:14:44,137
- He is not a kid, Mom!
398
00:14:44,172 --> 00:14:46,965
And if you baby him his entire
life, he's never gonna learn.
399
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,103
I went out on a limb for him.
400
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,413
- At the risk of his health!
401
00:14:49,448 --> 00:14:51,275
He's sick as a dog.
402
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:53,137
He told me he had to
be at the shoot at 7:00 a.m.
403
00:14:53,172 --> 00:14:55,206
Even turkeys aren't up
at 7:00 a.m.
404
00:14:55,241 --> 00:14:57,275
- What time are turkeys up,
Mom?
405
00:14:57,310 --> 00:15:00,931
- Don't you sass mouth me,
Timothy Dale Cramblin.
406
00:15:00,965 --> 00:15:01,896
I am here to pick up
407
00:15:01,931 --> 00:15:04,689
his Slipknot mask,
his "Battlefield" disc
408
00:15:04,724 --> 00:15:06,586
and his "Five Nights
at Freddy's" men.
409
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:08,137
- Yeah, well, you should
take his sheet too,
410
00:15:08,172 --> 00:15:09,275
because it's caked.
411
00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:12,000
- I'm sure I don't know
what that means.
412
00:15:12,034 --> 00:15:13,310
Go get the stuff!
413
00:15:13,344 --> 00:15:15,137
Jerry wants to leave
the city before it's dark.
414
00:15:15,172 --> 00:15:16,310
He's terrified!
[honks horn]
415
00:15:16,344 --> 00:15:18,310
- All right, let's go, babe.
416
00:15:18,344 --> 00:15:20,862
Yo. How you doin'?
417
00:15:25,586 --> 00:15:28,103
- He didn't even have the balls
to tell us to our face
418
00:15:28,137 --> 00:15:29,517
that he was gonna bail on us.
419
00:15:29,551 --> 00:15:31,068
- [scoffs] You surprised?
420
00:15:31,103 --> 00:15:32,862
That's all he's ever done.
421
00:15:32,896 --> 00:15:36,551
- How can you be so good at
this job and not wanna do it?
422
00:15:38,068 --> 00:15:39,689
What?
423
00:15:39,724 --> 00:15:41,310
- Nothing.
424
00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:43,379
- Hey, Tim.
Hey, Sam.
425
00:15:43,413 --> 00:15:45,137
♪ Mail's here
426
00:15:45,172 --> 00:15:47,586
Boo-yah!
427
00:15:48,689 --> 00:15:50,517
What the hell is your cousin
David doing here?
428
00:15:50,551 --> 00:15:52,448
- Oh, well, Tim,
since I just found out
429
00:15:52,482 --> 00:15:55,034
about the open door policy
for hiring family members,
430
00:15:55,068 --> 00:15:57,689
I figured it'd be okay
for David to come work here.
431
00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,724
You're not mad, are you?
You can't be.
432
00:16:00,758 --> 00:16:02,413
- Yeah, all right.
I get it.
433
00:16:02,448 --> 00:16:03,931
I'm sorry.
It won't happen again.
434
00:16:03,965 --> 00:16:06,655
- When you work at a company
where two people own it,
435
00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:09,310
all decisions need to go
through both of 'em, bud, okay?
436
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,517
- Yeah, you made
your point, Sam.
437
00:16:11,551 --> 00:16:12,655
- Okay, that's all I'm sayin'.
- Okay.
438
00:16:12,689 --> 00:16:13,965
- All right? Okay?
- All right, cool.
439
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,413
both: Great.
440
00:16:15,448 --> 00:16:16,896
Hey, David?
441
00:16:16,931 --> 00:16:18,724
- [yelps]
442
00:16:18,758 --> 00:16:20,413
- [laughs] All right,
you can go on home.
443
00:16:20,448 --> 00:16:21,620
He got the point.
444
00:16:21,655 --> 00:16:24,724
- Got what?
- Tim got the prank.
445
00:16:24,758 --> 00:16:27,965
- So this isn't
a real job?
446
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,310
Oh.
447
00:16:30,344 --> 00:16:34,068
Um, just one second.
448
00:16:34,103 --> 00:16:36,379
Joy. Hey.
449
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,000
Yeah, the job's not real.
450
00:16:38,034 --> 00:16:39,620
- [mouthing]
451
00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:42,275
- Yeah, it was a prank on Tim.
452
00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:43,689
- Okay.
453
00:16:43,724 --> 00:16:45,413
- Don't wave to us.
- Yeah.
454
00:16:45,448 --> 00:16:47,793
I'll do that. Sure.
455
00:16:47,827 --> 00:16:50,068
Guys...
456
00:16:50,103 --> 00:16:51,482
[sighs]
457
00:16:51,517 --> 00:16:54,482
please, please,
please don't do this!
458
00:16:54,517 --> 00:16:56,482
I need this job.
- David, stand up.
459
00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:58,310
You can finish up
the rest of the week, okay?
460
00:16:58,344 --> 00:17:01,551
- Thanks, Sam.
I broke your stapler.
461
00:17:01,586 --> 00:17:04,206
- Hey, David.
What's...up?
462
00:17:04,241 --> 00:17:05,758
- Just dumb.
463
00:17:05,793 --> 00:17:08,931
- We went the Pegasus.
I got a Wings jersey.
464
00:17:08,965 --> 00:17:12,344
We even walked a block.
Wasn't bad.
465
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:14,172
That city's gotten okay.
466
00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:15,586
In certain parts.
467
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:18,379
- We were asked for change.
468
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:20,793
But the guy was funny,
actually.
469
00:17:22,586 --> 00:17:25,379
- Excuse me for a minute.
Thank you.
470
00:17:25,413 --> 00:17:27,379
- Chrissy and I applied
and got in to be
471
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:28,448
on "The New Dance Show."
472
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,551
- Oh!
- Yeah, so excited.
473
00:17:32,931 --> 00:17:35,793
- [sighs]
474
00:17:36,206 --> 00:17:37,655
- Enter.
475
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,551
- What the hell, man?
476
00:17:41,586 --> 00:17:43,241
You sneak back to Mom's
in the middle of the night,
477
00:17:43,275 --> 00:17:44,724
leave a puddle of rope
on the bed?
478
00:17:44,758 --> 00:17:46,655
- It's my two weeks notice.
479
00:17:46,689 --> 00:17:49,827
- Trevor, you need to grow up.
480
00:17:49,862 --> 00:17:52,862
You can't just run away
from everything.
481
00:17:52,896 --> 00:17:55,724
I'll tell you what.
I'll give you a pass.
482
00:17:55,758 --> 00:17:56,862
You can come back
and work for me.
483
00:17:56,896 --> 00:17:58,551
- [sighs] I tried it,
I didn't like it.
484
00:17:58,586 --> 00:17:59,655
It was stupid, it was dumb.
485
00:17:59,689 --> 00:18:01,931
- But you're so good at it.
486
00:18:01,965 --> 00:18:03,655
- It's easy.
487
00:18:03,689 --> 00:18:05,379
It's your thing, man.
It's not mine.
488
00:18:05,413 --> 00:18:06,724
- What do you mean?
489
00:18:06,758 --> 00:18:08,034
- Look, remember when
we were kids
490
00:18:08,068 --> 00:18:09,758
and we would race
and you were faster than me,
491
00:18:09,793 --> 00:18:11,724
so you'd slow down
and let me win?
492
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,551
- Yeah.
- It's like that.
493
00:18:13,586 --> 00:18:15,413
- Oh, my God.
494
00:18:15,448 --> 00:18:17,413
You quit because
you're better than me
495
00:18:17,448 --> 00:18:20,068
and you didn't wanna
make me feel bad.
496
00:18:20,103 --> 00:18:22,551
Oh--
497
00:18:22,586 --> 00:18:24,103
Give me the Slipknot mask.
498
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:27,103
Give me Shawn Clown.
499
00:18:27,137 --> 00:18:29,206
[sobbing]
500
00:18:34,034 --> 00:18:35,172
Trevor!
501
00:18:35,206 --> 00:18:36,655
When we were racing,
502
00:18:36,689 --> 00:18:39,000
I didn't slow down
so you could beat me.
503
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,448
I didn't slow down.
504
00:18:40,482 --> 00:18:42,931
I just got tired.
505
00:18:42,965 --> 00:18:45,965
[crying]
506
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,034
[screams]
507
00:18:48,068 --> 00:18:50,206
[sobbing]
508
00:18:52,551 --> 00:18:56,000
[muffled screaming]
509
00:18:59,413 --> 00:19:01,655
- Mind if we join you guys?
510
00:19:01,689 --> 00:19:04,586
- All my boys
at the table together.
511
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:07,517
- Tim, you been crying?
512
00:19:07,551 --> 00:19:09,724
- No, I'm just a little hot.
513
00:19:09,758 --> 00:19:11,310
- Hey, uh, Sam, you mind
passing me the spaghetti?
514
00:19:11,344 --> 00:19:14,206
And by the way, diamonds
are a girl's best friend
515
00:19:14,241 --> 00:19:16,655
was really funny.
516
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,689
- Oh, thank you, Trevor.
517
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:22,482
And you know what?
Yours was pretty good, too.
518
00:19:22,517 --> 00:19:23,931
Although, it coulda been
a little funny.
519
00:19:23,965 --> 00:19:25,482
I mean, people remember
the ones that are funny,
520
00:19:25,517 --> 00:19:26,620
in my experience.
- Yeah, so that's why
521
00:19:26,655 --> 00:19:27,793
they did yours, right?
522
00:19:27,827 --> 00:19:29,137
- [whispering]
You piece of shit.
523
00:19:29,172 --> 00:19:30,965
- Take your hat off
at the table, Trevor.
524
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,827
- Hey, Jerry,
why don't you suck my balls?
525
00:19:33,862 --> 00:19:36,517
- Take your hat off
at the table, Trevor.
526
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,310
- Let him wear his hat, Jerry.
527
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:41,275
- No, Sue. You think
I don't wanna be here eating
528
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,034
with my Panama hat on?
529
00:19:43,068 --> 00:19:45,310
Take the hat off.
530
00:19:45,344 --> 00:19:47,034
Take the damn hat off.
531
00:19:47,068 --> 00:19:48,655
- [gasps] Oh.
532
00:19:48,689 --> 00:19:51,724
- That's it!
Time to take you to the bottom!
533
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:53,517
The Rock Bottom!
- No!
534
00:19:53,551 --> 00:19:54,689
[both scream]
[thud]
535
00:19:54,724 --> 00:19:56,482
both: Ohh!
- Rock Bottom!
536
00:19:56,517 --> 00:19:57,931
- Oh, shit!
- Rock bottom!
537
00:19:57,965 --> 00:19:59,655
That man got broken in half!
- Oh, shit!
538
00:19:59,689 --> 00:20:00,896
- On ramp!
- Infinite Rock Bottoms!
539
00:20:00,931 --> 00:20:02,551
- You never saw Rock Bottom!
- That man is dead!
540
00:20:02,586 --> 00:20:04,620
- I am the new dad!
- [screaming]
541
00:20:07,241 --> 00:20:08,862
- We're back, we're back
on "The New Dance Show."
542
00:20:08,896 --> 00:20:10,551
This is R.J. Watkins
and we have two new dancers
543
00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:11,758
on our dance show tonight.
544
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,620
- And this is?
- Rosie the Boogier.
545
00:20:14,655 --> 00:20:17,965
- And?
- Uh, Emperor King Gold
546
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,586
uh, The Midas Man.
- Fantastic.
547
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,655
And now it's time for a dance
line on "The Dance Show."
548
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:25,758
Can you break me off
something a little funky?
549
00:20:25,793 --> 00:20:28,379
[upbeat dance music]
550
00:20:28,413 --> 00:20:32,413
♪
551
00:20:39,758 --> 00:20:42,793
- You had your turn.
- Turn's not over yet.
552
00:20:42,827 --> 00:20:46,103
- You're doin' too much.
- You ain't doin' enough.
553
00:20:46,137 --> 00:20:48,137
♪
554
00:20:48,172 --> 00:20:49,103
- Uh!
555
00:20:49,137 --> 00:20:52,241
- You don't open-hand slap me
on TV!
556
00:20:52,275 --> 00:20:53,551
- Ahh!
- [laughs]
557
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,137
- Ohh! [coughing]
558
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,206
♪♪
559
00:20:58,241 --> 00:21:00,206
I just ate!
560
00:21:00,241 --> 00:21:04,068
[coughing]
561
00:21:04,689 --> 00:21:08,413
[coughing continues]
562
00:21:13,551 --> 00:21:16,034
- What's up?
563
00:21:17,241 --> 00:21:18,965
What's up?
564
00:21:20,724 --> 00:21:23,068
What's up?
565
00:21:24,724 --> 00:21:27,241
Hey, Lea. What's up?
40198
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