All language subtitles for Detroiters.S02E02.Jefferson.Porger.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-AJP69_track3_[eng]

[light music]

♪ ♪

- No, mm-mm, no.

He's not wearing that suit.

That's suit's wearing him.

- Thanks
for coming in.

- Yep, great job.
We'll let you know.

Jefferson, we can wait
till they leave the room

before we say anything.

- I ain't go time for that.

Oh, no, absolutely not, no.

His butt's too big.

I need a butt,
not a birdbath.

- Do you at least
want to see the poses?

- Hell no.

Please leave the room...
butt first.

- Thank you.

- Gentlemen, I am unimpressed.

- Well, it's a process,
Jefferson.

We'll get there.

- Yeah, I mean,
you liked Russell.

Why don't we just go with him?
- No, no, no.

We need two, all right?

Haven't you ever seen
a suit commercial?

He needs somebody to
lean on, to laugh with.

Am I wrong?
- No, you're not wrong.

- I mean, am I crazy?

Have any of these other guys
been any good?

- No, you're absolutely right.

I mean, I just don't get it,
you know.

How hard is it to, like, walk
into the room and be, like,

boom, and give one of these,
like, or like this?

- Whoa.

Sam, that was really good.

Why don't we just have Sam do
the commercial?

- [laughs]
Me?

- Yeah, I mean, you'll
already be there.

Those poses were fantastic.

Why don't you just
do the commercial?

Jefferson?

- Mm, good look, nice smile,

strong hairline.

Turn.

No red flags on the butt.

I'm in.
- Great.

- Yeah, I mean,
I guess I could do it.

All I have to do is, like, kind
of, like, just do one of these.

- No, do not do that.
That is not good.

- No, I know, yeah.

- Walk straight, man!

- ♪ Next time ♪

♪ When they ask you ♪

♪ Where you're from ♪

♪ You gon' say Detroit city ♪

♪ When we get back on
our feet, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[funky music]

- ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- And you're gonna take all
this chalk off

when you're done, right?

Look, Emilio, I don't ask,
and there's chalk on the suit

during the commercial, I'm the
one getting yelled at,

not you, bud.

- Oh, Tim, I don't know
about this.

I mean, I like being behind
the camera, you know,

the man with the ideas.

- Sam, you are
going to be so great.

If you believed in yourself
half as much as I do,

you'd be on the moon
right now.

- What, from, like, modeling?
What do you mean?

- I just believe in you.

Why don't you get out
of my friggin' ass?

- Sheila and I
are going to lunch.

- No boys allowed.

- [chuckles] Okay, Sheila.

- It's girls only.

And no, we're not that way.

- [laughs]

- Hey, guys, we should do
an all-boys' lunch.

- Close the door, Tommy.

Just gonna get
a quick close on that.

- Shut the door, bud.

- Then when I got home,
someone stole my parking spot.

- Did you put your chair down?

- Yeah, they moved it.
- Assholes.

I hope you keep their car.

- I did one better.
- Mm.

- I put sardines
in the gas tank.

- Does that do anything?

- What do you think?

- No?
- Oh, you're bad.

- You're bad.

Hey, girl.

- Forget something?

- Thank you.

Sheila, this is
my girlfriend, Scarlet.

- Hey, Sheila.
I've heard a lot about you.

- It's very nice to meet you.

- I'll let you guys
enjoy your lunch

after I steal this chip.

- Mwah!
- Thanks, honey.

- See ya.

- She seems nice.

- She's the best.

- Back in the office when I
said, "We're not that way,"

it was funny, because you are
gay, and we both knew it,

and neither of us is a bigot.

[funky music]

- Whew, all right.

Well...I guess I'm ready.

- You are going to be great.

Just don't forget about us
little people

when you're big-time.

- Oh, shut up, Tim.

- All right,
let's shoot this puppy.

Ready?

And...action.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Cut.
- Great.

- Really good.

- Mm.

- Moving on.
- Whew, felt good.

- And...action.

♪ ♪

And cut.

♪ ♪

And...oh, you know what?

Let's keep rolling and see what
he does.

♪ ♪

And there it is.
Cut.

- Wow.
- Very good, Sam. Moving on.

- That was great.
Whew.

- The look of Jefferson Porger Menswear,

fashions for the man,

A professional, tailored look
with classic style.

From collar tip to wing tips,
Jefferson Porger has it,

a casual, cool look
for a night out.

Jefferson Porger has the
sports coat to fit your style.

Jefferson Porger Menswear
has the look you want.

- The camera loved you, man.

- Oh, thanks, buddy.

You know the part where I point
to the document in the folder?

- Yeah.
- I almost cracked up.

- Yeah, I saw that, but that's
just because I know you.

- Jefferson Porger suits.

Get over here, man.

- [chuckles]

- Wow, man, a celebrity right
in my lobby.

- Ahh, thanks, Ned.
- No, man, I'm serious, man.

I'm very proud.

I'm sitting there with my girl
watching TV,

all of a sudden, you come out
of nowhere.

I'm like, "Oh, shit, baby.

I know him."

She was like, "Bullshit."

I'm like, "Bitch, get out.

"Get your shit and get out of
my house now.

You don't tell me who I know."

But you killed it.

- Thank--thank you, Ned.

Are you okay, man?

- Me?
[chuckles]

Mm.

I am fine.

[laughs]
I am fine.

Fine.

It's about you today.

This is your day.
This is Sam day.

- Okay.
- [laughs] It's Sam day, man.

- All right, man.
- You take it easy.

- You too.
- Keep killin' it.

- I thought you were gonna tell
him it was my idea

to put you in the commercial.

- Oh, I'm sorry, buddy.
- No, it's cool. It's all good.

Yeah, Ned, I wrote that
commercial.

- What did you write, like,
"guys wearing suits?"

- [laughs]
Yeah.

[applause]
- Oh, come on.

- Congratulations.
- There he is.

- Thanks. Thank you. Come on.

- All right, the star's got
some real work to do.

Come on.

- Sam, what's it like
to be on TV?

- Oh, come on, Sheila,
the same as everything else.

Amazing.

[laughter]

- Dude, come on.

You were in one commercial.

We got real work to do.

- Ahh, well, back to
the grunt work.

- Yeah, the stuff that actually
pays the bills around here.

- Lea, do you know any Polish
jokes?

- No.
- 'Cause I'm Polish.

And it's okay if you said them,
because, you know,

I'm Polish,
and I know you know it.

That's why it's funny.

- I don't know any.

- Here's one.

How many Poles does it take
to screw in a light bulb?

- How many?
- Five.

Because four of them are
putting it in the wrong hole.

Nope, because it's all right.

There is no wrong hole.

You could put it
in any hole you want.

It doesn't matter.
I'm not a bigot.

- Okay, so boom,
a club for teens.

I was thinking we could focus
on the fact that, like,

kids are cool;
adults are lame.

So we'd open on, like, a
teenager going up to the bar

ordering a pop.

He holds it up, looks to
camera, and goes,

"I could get used to this
place."

- Ha-ha-ha-ha.

You know what?
Let me just feel it through.

Just gonna see, like, if it
feels natural for the actor.

- No.

Mm, no pop, definitely no pop.

You know, it's hard to, like,
remember that when we're typing

this stuff out
and, like, writing it,

like, an actor has to
actually perform it and,

like, make it feel natural.

You know what I mean? You know?
- Yeah.

Yeah, no, I forgot that.

- You know, what if he's, like,
walks through,

you know, like, taps the girl
on the shoulder, and he's like,

"Huh, sure beats detention,
huh?"

[laughs]
Yeah, that's good.

It feels, like--like,
a little less written,

which I think is what I like
about it the most.

What kind of shoes do you think
this boy is wearing?

- Fff....

- Back here--ooh, it's Adidas,
definitely Adidas.

Put Adidas.

Can you put Adidas?
Or A-di-das.

He could be British.

[in British accent]
Hello, chap.

Beats detention, doesn't it?

[funky music]

- Sam, great job in that
commercial, man.

- [laughs]
Thanks, Q.

Oh, it was Tim's idea to put me
in it.

- Ahh, yeah, there I was in my
office all eyes on me.

We needed a decision
yesterday--

- Hey, Sam, is that one of the
suits from the commercial?

- Yes, it is.

Jefferson Porger
gave me this card.

I get free suits till
Christmas.

- Whoa, you get one of those?

- Yeah, no.
No perks for writers.

- Ooh, Russell, look at you.

How you doing, baby?
- Good, man.

- Ahh, how was rehearsal?

- Really powerful.

Lavinia, the director,
is a genius.

- Russell's in a play.
- Oh, no shit?

- Sam, you should get
into stage acting.

- Oh, I couldn't.
- You've got the presence.

- Ohh.
- You'd be great at it.

- I--I've actually been saying

Sam should do stand-up for
years.

He's really funny.
- Well, stand-up isn't acting.

- It's true.

Quintin, can we have some
beers?

Russell, you want a beer?

- Vodka.

Calories.

- Oh, that's a good call.

Quintin, can we have two
vodkas

and one beer for my chubby
little friend here?

A little bit of vodka maybe to
lose some of that...

- Look at you!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hello, young lady.

Is this the audition for Tom
Cruise's twin brother?

- No, it's for schlubby nerd
number one.

- Oh, no, I know.
I was joking.

- Yeah, I know.

They all told the same joke,
every one of them.

- Hey, fellas.

I see they rounded up
the usual suspects.

- Sit down.
[elevator dings]

- Good morning, Sheila.

- Good morning, Lea.

How is your partner, Scarlet?

- She's great.
- Wonderful.

I hope she's not
the jealous type,

'cause I put a little
gift in your office for you.

It's something I bought ages
ago and always meant to put up.

- Thanks.

[elevator dings]

- Hey, young lady.

Is this the audition for Tom
Cruise's twin brother?

- Sit down.

- [chuckles]

[funky music]

- Come on in, Steve.

Now, let's pretend that this
couch is--boom--

Detroit's premier teen dance
club.

So you'll just come out and say
your line

whenever you're ready.

- Hey, you kids
can't party in here.

- Thanks for coming in.

- Uh, maybe.
- Yeah, seems fine.

- Andrea, maybe
is not good enough.

You should know in your heart
that this is

the perfect person for this
role.

Do you feel that way?

- No.
- Yeah, okay, me neither.

I'm sorry.

I just wish
these guys could do it.

It's not that hard.

All you have to do is just
stand here and say,

"Hey, you kids can't party in
here."

- Okay, should we see another
one?

- Yeah, if you want to waste
your day, I'll watch more.

But--I'm sorry.

I just wish
that I could, like,

somehow put myself in their
body and show 'em how to do it.

It's easy.

It's just, "Hey!

You kids can't party in here!"

- Well--well, maybe
one of you should just do it.

- Yeah, maybe.
- Sam?

- Yeah, sure.
- No, the guy has to be white.

That's the thing.

- Uh, okay.

Uh, well, uh, maybe
Tim should do it.

- Oh.
- Yes, Tim should do it.

- I mean, ugh.

Yeah, you did
Jefferson Porger.

It's a little uneven, 'cause
this is, like,

lines and, like, a character
and stuff, but...

- Okay, what do you think,
Andrea?

- Whatever.

Guys, I was fine
with all of them.

A nerd says we can't party.

Can we just pull the trigger
here?

- Cool, yeah.

You want me to do it,
I'll do it.

[keyboard clacking]

So I'm going to be in a
commercial.

It should be fun.
It was Sam's idea.

I play a schlubby nerd

who doesn't want
these teens to party.

Although I'm not totally sure
he should be entirely a nerd.

- Tim, just be careful.

- What does that mean?

- It means I love you.

Good night.

- What do you mean, be careful,
though?

Chrissy.

Chrissy.

Chrissy.
- Shake me again

and see what happens.

- Sorry.

I know that you're tired, but
why do I have to go to bed?

- Hey, buddy, I saw the new
script on my desk.

- Oh, yeah, I just did
a quick rewrite last night.

Just tweaked a few things so
they felt

a little more natural for me.

- Yeah, um, did you give
yourself a bigger part

and make yourself
cool in this?

- No.

Where's it say that?

- "Mr. Groove wears a fedora
and pulls it off great."

- He didn't have
a name before, so I just--

- You named him Mr. Groove.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

[funky percussive music]

- So, Lea, what do you think
about Queen Latifah?

- Sheila, we don't have to
keep talking about this.

- I'm sorry.

I just don't want you to think
I'm racist against gays

just because I'm old.

- I know you're not racist
against gays.

You made a bad joke.
Let it go.

The more you overcompensate,
the more I think that you

actually are uncomfortable.

- I understand.

You're right.

- Sheila...

you left these
at my place last night.

I love you.

- Sheila, did you do this
to make me think

that you were gay?

- She's my neighbor.
- Oh, my God.

- That was before the
overcompensating conversation.

- Do you want to
invite her to lunch?

- No, she drives me nuts.

- [laughs]

- Go home, Ann.

[funky music]

♪ ♪

- Okay, uh, in this commercial,
you guys are gonna

be trying to
come into this club to dance,

and this guy here is gonna say,

"Hey, why don't we dance
together?"

And you all...will think
it's a great idea, okay?

Is that good? Cool?
- Yeah, sounds good to me.

- Yeah, great.
- Let's shoot one, huh?

It's gonna be fun.

- All right, and...action.

- Hey, kids, let's party
together.

[together]
Yeah.

- I for sure want to party with
this guy.

- Well, then, all right.

- And...cut.

- Good job. Awesome.
That was really, really good.

- Sam.
- Great job, guys.

- Sam.
- Yeah, uh-huh.

- What is that?
- Oh, here come some notes.

Flying in notes.

This is all part of it.
It's fun.

- [whispering indistinctly]

- Yeah, okay, great job on that
last one, guys.

I'll tell you what, we've got
to do it one more time,

because I had a little sound
issue.

The boom was in the shot.
You could see it.

- Dang it, Tommy.

- Tommy, come on.

So let's do it one more time,
and just so we have it,

all right, Lea, we can do it
again, but this time,

maybe it would be fun
if you said

they can't come in and dance in
the club, so, you know,

so we have it like we had
in the original script.

- Right, but my only thing is,

why wouldn't they
want him to dance?

Like, they kind of see him as,
like, a friend

and as, like,
a guy they look up to.

He's also a peer.

- Yeah, maybe--I just think
so that we had it at least

both ways so we could...

- I'm not into the other way.
- Yeah, okay.

- I've--I've seen it.
I've seen that done before.

- Uh...

- Do you know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.

- Ah...let's just do it
the same way again then.

- Thanks. Thanks, Sam.
- Yeah.

- Awesome.
Same again, guys.

- And...ugh...
and action.

[upbeat funky music]

- Hey, kids, you want to party
together?

[together]
Yeah.

- Yes.

- I for sure want to
party with this guy.

- All right.

Give me some skin.

- And cut.
- Sam.

- Yeah, no, I know.
- Come on.

What's--what's...

What's going on here?
Is it just me?

[both mumbling indistinctly]

- That was good for me,
but one thing is,

the kid who's supposed to say,

"I for sure want to
party with him,"

he's, like, kind of squinting
his eyes.

It's, like, I don't
really believe him.

- Yeah, no shit, 'cause why
would he say that?

- This is supposed to be
a commercial

for a club where teens can go
and have a cool,

safe space to hang out.

And now it's a commercial
where a bunch of cool teens

want to hang out with...
an adult,

who legally wouldn't be allowed
in the club in the first place.

- Yeah, that's
the whole point, though.

He doesn't go into the club.
They just want him to.

- Why would they want to
party with a weird old man?

- Who's a weird old man?

- Honey.
- Me?

How am I old or weird?

- Well, a fedora don't work--
- Strongly disagree.

- That jacket--
- Everybody shut up.

Watch this.

Hey, kids, if this wasn't
a commercial,

this was real life, and I came
up to you in a teen club,

would you dance with me?

- Tim, no.
- Shh, watch, shh.

Would you dance with me?

Stacy, Stacy, would you dance
with me?

Betsy, dancing?

Hugo, what do you say, bro-bro,
you dancing?

Miranda, if this wasn't
a commercial,

this was real life,
and we're at a teen dance,

Miranda,
would you dance with me?

- Okay, enough.

Either he goes
or you're both fired.

- You know what?

I think you're only left with
one option, Andrea.

- Come on down to Boom teen
nightclub,

the premier teen club in metro Detroit.

- Can we party with you,
Mr. Groove?

- Pfft, I wish, because that
is one cool club.

But it's just for teens.

[together]
Aww.

- Hey, don't be so sad, teens.

You're gonna have a great time.

- I wish Mr. Groove was a teen.

- Hmm, let me see
what I can do.

[together]
Yeah!

- Come to Boom, metro
Detroit's premier teen club.

- Tell 'em Mr. Groove sent ya.

- That was the commercial
that led to the shutdown

of Boom teen nightclub
earlier today,

where a swarm of middle-age men
were arrested

for posing as teens attempting
to gain entry.

When asked what they were
doing,

the men said,
"Mr. Groove sent us."

Between you and me, it seems
like that commercial

was telling old me how to
sneak into a teen club.

- I think we should have
a policy where we're not in

the commercials anymore.

- I think that would be best.

- Yeah, it's just hard to
remain objective

during the process.

- Yeah, no, I know.

Like, you know, I thought
Mr. Groove was a terrible idea.

But then I got in front of
camera,

and I became a friggin' pedo.

- Well, you weren't a pedo.
Mr. Groove's a pedo.

- Yeah, thanks, bud, and
actually, he wasn't even.

He actually became
young Mr. Groove.

He wasn't, like, old guy
in a young guy's body.

He became a kid.

- Yeah, I think you and I can
both agree that was not clear.

- I concede that.
- Oh, come on.

I got to get me into Boom.

Oh, pretty please,
make me a teen.

- So we won't be in the
commercials anymore.

- Yeah, no, that's probably
the new rule.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Son of a bitch
stole my space again.

[chuckling]

One little fishy.

Two little fishies.

Three little fishies.

[chuckling]

Jackass.

[engine grinding]

[loud explosion]

- [laughs]

Asshole.

- Sardines.

Who put sardines in my gas
tank?

[funky music]

♪ ♪

- Sheila, where are you going?

- Nowhere, Ann.

- Sardines!