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1
00:00:12,033 --> 00:00:13,100
*
2
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,867
- Oof.
Another round?
3
00:00:14,867 --> 00:00:16,133
- No, I think I'm good.
4
00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:17,633
- It's open bar.
5
00:00:17,633 --> 00:00:18,967
- Let's get another round.
6
00:00:18,967 --> 00:00:20,767
- Yeah, let's get another round.
Come on.
7
00:00:20,767 --> 00:00:22,467
- What a fun night.
- Yeah.
8
00:00:22,467 --> 00:00:23,633
- I don't even care
if we win.
9
00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:24,900
- Oh, we're gonna win.
10
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,267
- Yeah, of course, totally,
11
00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:27,800
but I'm saying
even if we don't win--
12
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,033
- Yeah, we're gonna.
13
00:00:29,033 --> 00:00:30,767
- Yeah, no, I know.
I mean, same page.
14
00:00:30,767 --> 00:00:32,300
I'm just saying that,
you know, I'm so proud
15
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,900
of the work that we've done
that I don't need
16
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,700
the validation of my peers
to make me feel good about it.
17
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:39,133
- Yeah. But we're gonna win.
- Yes.
18
00:00:39,133 --> 00:00:41,900
I'll have four Boston Coolers.
19
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:43,233
But put some booze in 'em.
20
00:00:43,233 --> 00:00:44,633
- Can I have
four White Russians?
21
00:00:44,633 --> 00:00:46,067
Maybe put some booze in that?
22
00:00:46,067 --> 00:00:47,733
Four more Boston Coolers.
23
00:00:47,733 --> 00:00:49,100
No booze.
24
00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:50,600
I'll tell you what.
You know what?
25
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,100
Put some booze in them.
A little booze in those.
26
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:55,600
- Wow, you guys must be thirsty.
27
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,633
Carter Grant,
VP of marketing, Chrysler?
28
00:00:58,633 --> 00:01:01,200
- Well, not anymore.
29
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,600
- No, same name.
30
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,100
Um, I actually got fired.
31
00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:08,200
- Well, I've hit a string
of bad luck as of late.
32
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,633
It all started
with that accident I was in.
33
00:01:09,633 --> 00:01:10,567
You guys remember that?
34
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,467
*
35
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:20,267
- Doesn't ring a bell.
36
00:01:20,267 --> 00:01:22,933
- Oh. Well, I got run over
by some maniac.
37
00:01:22,933 --> 00:01:25,633
- It damaged your leg
permanently?
38
00:01:25,633 --> 00:01:28,133
- We are so sorry...
39
00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:29,500
that happened to you.
40
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:31,100
- Well, no, no.
41
00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:34,367
This is actually, uh,
from a separate incident.
42
00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:36,467
Actually, the doctor that I had
after the hit-and-run
43
00:01:36,467 --> 00:01:37,967
got me back
in tip-top shape.
44
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:39,800
Yeah, he was great.
45
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,067
In fact, he was so great
that my wife left me for him.
46
00:01:43,633 --> 00:01:45,367
- Carter!
- No, I'm being serious.
47
00:01:45,367 --> 00:01:47,467
- Oh, crap.
- Yeah, it's all right.
48
00:01:47,467 --> 00:01:48,700
No, it's okay.
It was my fault, though.
49
00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:50,367
You know, uh, all the pain meds
50
00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:52,267
that I was on in the hospital
got me drinking again,
51
00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:54,800
and that was something
I promised her I'd never do.
52
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,300
You know, that led
to my accident.
53
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:58,067
- Drunk driving.
- Oh, no, no, no.
54
00:01:58,067 --> 00:02:00,433
This was actually from
mixed martial arts fighting.
55
00:02:00,433 --> 00:02:03,233
Yeah, guy ripped off my patella.
56
00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:06,567
I just sort of threw myself
into it after Susan left me.
57
00:02:06,567 --> 00:02:08,067
I was horrible at it, you know.
58
00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:09,833
Just kept getting my ass
kicked by black guys.
59
00:02:11,367 --> 00:02:12,733
- 'Cause I could beat
all the white guys.
60
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,433
- Oh, yeah, sure.
Yeah.
61
00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:16,200
- No, I thought this injury
was my rock bottom,
62
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:17,767
but, uh, well,
then this happened.
63
00:02:17,767 --> 00:02:19,867
- Luke Skywalker hand!
- Whoa!
64
00:02:19,867 --> 00:02:22,067
- Yeah.
65
00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:23,433
- Yeah, well, you're gonna think
this is made up,
66
00:02:23,433 --> 00:02:24,767
but my dad cut off my hand.
67
00:02:24,767 --> 00:02:26,333
- Oh!
- Yeah.
68
00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:28,667
Hey, silver lining,
it did sober me up. Yeah.
69
00:02:28,667 --> 00:02:31,067
And I got rehired
back at Chrysler.
70
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,767
- Oh, good.
- Yeah.
71
00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:34,667
- By my old protégé,
who's now the VP of marketing.
72
00:02:34,667 --> 00:02:36,867
Half the salary, got a cubicle
instead of an office,
73
00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:38,600
so yep, it's been a long,
74
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:43,200
rough road recently
for old Carter Grant.
75
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,167
I'll tell you what.
76
00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:47,733
Winning a D Award tonight,
77
00:02:47,733 --> 00:02:49,433
that'll make the pain go away.
78
00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:51,400
We're actually up
for the last ad
79
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,500
we made under my watch.
80
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:55,367
Oh, it was
the Chrysler Pacifica spot
81
00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:56,900
that you guys missed out on.
82
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:59,700
- Wait, that campaign
was for a specific car?
83
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:02,067
I thought it was just
for Chrysler in general.
84
00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:05,333
- No, car companies don't really
make generic commercials
85
00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:07,100
for the entire brand.
86
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:11,733
- If you want a specific car,
get a Chrysler Pacifica.
87
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,067
- It's a little late.
88
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,167
And not very good.
89
00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:16,167
- Understand.
90
00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:17,567
- Looks like your drinks
are here.
91
00:03:17,567 --> 00:03:19,400
- Oh, yeah.
92
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,333
Well...
good luck, Carter.
93
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:23,633
- Yeah, good luck.
94
00:03:23,633 --> 00:03:24,900
- Thanks, guys.
95
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,633
Really appreciate it.
96
00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:30,133
You remind me of, uh,
better times.
97
00:03:30,133 --> 00:03:32,233
I should go sit down,
98
00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:33,933
as I'm in a great deal of pain.
99
00:03:35,567 --> 00:03:36,500
Okay.
100
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:48,167
- Excuse me.
Could we...
101
00:03:48,167 --> 00:03:49,500
- Like, a tray
or something?
102
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,300
Something to carry this?
- Just a tray--
103
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:53,067
What you've done here
is ridiculous.
104
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,133
- * Next time
105
00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:55,300
* When they ask you
106
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:57,600
* Where you're from *
107
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,400
* You gon' say Detroit city *
108
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:03,567
* When we get back on our feet,
yeah *
109
00:04:03,567 --> 00:04:05,133
* Yeah
110
00:04:05,133 --> 00:04:07,067
- Ladies and gentlemen,
111
00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:08,867
please welcome to the stage
our host for the evening,
112
00:04:08,867 --> 00:04:10,167
Detroit's favorite son,
113
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,800
the cohost of "Tool Time,"
114
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,467
Al Borland!
115
00:04:16,633 --> 00:04:18,567
- Thank you very much.
116
00:04:18,567 --> 00:04:22,567
Uh, you know, I asked them
not to introduce me like that.
117
00:04:22,567 --> 00:04:24,867
Al Borland
is a fictional character
118
00:04:24,867 --> 00:04:27,067
from a show called
"Home Improvement."
119
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,600
I am not Al Borland.
120
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,567
I'm Richard Karn,
and I'd like to welcome you
121
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:38,167
to Detroit Advertising's
night of the year:
122
00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:39,867
the D Awards!
123
00:04:41,567 --> 00:04:43,800
I'll tell you,
the producers asked me
124
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,067
not to sing tonight.
125
00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:48,233
Yeah, right.
126
00:04:49,567 --> 00:04:51,200
Maestro!
127
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,300
*
128
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,400
*
129
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,400
* Well, tonight is your night
130
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,867
* And the light is just right
131
00:05:09,867 --> 00:05:13,867
* If you try
you just might *
132
00:05:13,867 --> 00:05:16,800
* Win a D tonight
133
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,433
And the D for graphic design...
134
00:05:18,433 --> 00:05:21,067
* Let your dreams take flight
135
00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:22,700
Pomerantz and Klein!
136
00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:24,767
* High in the sky like a kite
137
00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:25,767
Crazy Morgan.
138
00:05:25,767 --> 00:05:27,367
* With this D
139
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:29,067
* You're the best
there can be *
140
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,733
* Oh, say, can you see
141
00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:34,567
* At the D Awards tonight
142
00:05:37,533 --> 00:05:39,600
Okay, folks, this is it.
143
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:43,767
The D Award for Consumer TV:
Thirty Second Single.
144
00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:47,600
First up,
Downriver Ale from Doner.
145
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,200
Kid Rock:
Detroit. A city on its knees.
146
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,300
But we're ready to get back up
and stand tall.
147
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,200
This is our town,
and this is our beer:
148
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,633
Downriver Ale.
149
00:06:02,533 --> 00:06:06,200
- Little Caesars,
also from Doner.
150
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,933
Kid Rock:
Detroit.
151
00:06:07,933 --> 00:06:09,600
It's not the size
of the dog in the fight.
152
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,967
It's the size of the fight
in the dog.
153
00:06:13,533 --> 00:06:14,833
Kid Rock:
Little Caesars.
154
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,467
This is our pizza pizza.
155
00:06:18,833 --> 00:06:22,500
- Chrysler Pacifica
from Pomerantz and Klein.
156
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:23,933
Kid Rock: Detroit knows
a little something
157
00:06:23,933 --> 00:06:25,133
about hard work.
158
00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:26,333
Those other towns?
159
00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:28,200
They're hardly working.
160
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,700
Chrysler Pacifica.
161
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,800
This is our car.
162
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:33,833
- And finally,
163
00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:35,833
Quick Rick Mahorn in Dearborn.
164
00:06:35,833 --> 00:06:38,767
Cramblin
165
00:06:38,767 --> 00:06:42,767
Rick Mahorn from the Pistons
has a car dealership?
166
00:06:42,767 --> 00:06:44,433
I did not know that.
167
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:48,433
Let's take a look.
168
00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:52,133
- Who's the superhero saving
Detroit from high prices?
169
00:06:52,133 --> 00:06:55,367
Quick Rick Mahorn in Dearborn!
170
00:06:55,367 --> 00:06:57,800
- Help!
I need to buy a car fast!
171
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,333
Who can help me?
172
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:03,533
- I can help you.
173
00:07:03,533 --> 00:07:05,867
It's me, Quick Rick Mahorn
of Dearborn.
174
00:07:05,867 --> 00:07:07,567
My parents were killed
in an alley,
175
00:07:07,567 --> 00:07:10,167
so I became a superhero
who can run fast.
176
00:07:10,167 --> 00:07:13,933
I can put you into an affordable
used car like that.
177
00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:18,467
- Thanks, Rick Mahorn.
That was fast.
178
00:07:25,533 --> 00:07:27,167
- My work here is done.
179
00:07:27,167 --> 00:07:30,667
I think I'll run to France
and get me a croissant.
180
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:31,933
Ooh, la, la.
181
00:07:31,933 --> 00:07:33,567
You want a fast deal,
182
00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:36,733
come to Quick Rick Mahorn
in Dearborn.
183
00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:42,200
- * On Greenfield and Warren
next to the big brown house *
184
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:51,400
- And the winner is...
185
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,200
Doner, Downriver Ale!
186
00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:56,167
- Bullshit!
187
00:08:00,933 --> 00:08:02,333
- We'll get 'em
next time, bud.
188
00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:04,067
- Even if we don't,
it's still fun.
189
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,500
- We'll get 'em next time.
190
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:09,067
- All right.
- Uh, guys.
191
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:11,233
- Hey, Carter.
Tough break, man.
192
00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:12,233
- It's all right.
193
00:08:12,233 --> 00:08:13,333
You know, you win some,
194
00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:16,733
you lose...everything.
195
00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:18,600
Who knew everyone was gonna
use Kid Rock, right?
196
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,767
- Yeah, there was
a lot of Kid Rock.
197
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,067
- There was.
There really was.
198
00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:24,267
Anyway, um,
this is Judy Thompson.
199
00:08:24,267 --> 00:08:26,800
She's director of marketing
for Quicken Loans.
200
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,400
They're actually, uh,
on the hunt for a new agency.
201
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,467
Yeah, someone small
and local, and I--
202
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:33,833
well, you know,
I recommended you guys.
203
00:08:33,833 --> 00:08:35,633
- Carter raves about you two.
204
00:08:35,633 --> 00:08:37,267
I'd love to meet
with you next week.
205
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,067
- Absolutely.
- Yeah, we'll give you a call.
206
00:08:40,067 --> 00:08:41,767
- Sounds good.
207
00:08:41,767 --> 00:08:43,167
- Take care.
208
00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:45,167
- Thank you, Carter.
- Yeah.
209
00:08:45,167 --> 00:08:47,567
That was very nice of you.
210
00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:49,333
- Ah, don't worry about it.
211
00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:52,067
I figure I owe you guys one.
212
00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:53,400
All right.
213
00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:58,733
Ow.
214
00:08:58,733 --> 00:09:00,100
Ow.
215
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:06,933
- We set in motion
a chain of events
216
00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:10,100
that ruined a man's life.
217
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:12,133
- I can't believe
this time yesterday,
218
00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:15,233
all I cared about was
winning a stupid D Award.
219
00:09:15,233 --> 00:09:16,433
- Well, we never
stood a chance.
220
00:09:16,433 --> 00:09:18,067
- Yeah, I know that now.
221
00:09:20,367 --> 00:09:24,200
- Morning, Sheila.
These are for you.
222
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,933
- Oh, thank you, Rick.
They're lovely.
223
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,700
- You think the guys
are in right now?
224
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,633
I want to talk to them
about another ad.
225
00:09:30,633 --> 00:09:32,800
- Go right in.
- Thank you.
226
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,767
- I mean, how are we gonna
compete with agencies
227
00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:36,967
like Doner
and Pomerantz and Klein?
228
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,600
- We can't.
229
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,367
With their budgets,
they can get the best actors.
230
00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:43,067
I mean, they have Kid Rock.
231
00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:45,233
Meanwhile we're stuck
with Rick Mahorn.
232
00:09:45,233 --> 00:09:47,467
- Yeah.
I mean, bless his heart,
233
00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:50,567
but Rick Mahorn can't act
his way out of a wet paper bag.
234
00:09:53,567 --> 00:09:57,100
*
235
00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:59,433
Well, let's not dwell on it.
236
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:02,267
Let's just come up with a pitch
for Quicken Loans.
237
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:05,233
- Yeah, okay.
Um...
238
00:10:05,233 --> 00:10:07,767
Quicken Loans.
- Quicken Loans.
239
00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:10,267
- Quicken Loans,
Bicken Bones.
240
00:10:10,267 --> 00:10:12,033
- Maybe.
241
00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:13,967
- Why is our first move
always to rhyme?
242
00:10:13,967 --> 00:10:16,733
- Well, don't
question the process.
243
00:10:16,733 --> 00:10:18,367
Besides, Bicken Bones
ain't nothing.
244
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:19,933
- Oh, absolutely not.
245
00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:24,867
*
246
00:10:24,867 --> 00:10:28,267
Rick Mahorn can't act his way
out of a wet paper bag.
247
00:10:28,267 --> 00:10:30,767
*
248
00:10:30,767 --> 00:10:32,367
- Ooh, yeah.
249
00:10:32,367 --> 00:10:34,633
- Very good. Very good.
Excellent.
250
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:36,567
Lose all of your inhibitions.
251
00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:37,967
Yes.
252
00:10:37,967 --> 00:10:39,900
Oh, can we help you?
253
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,033
- Yes, you can.
I want to learn how to act.
254
00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:43,867
- You've come
to the right place.
255
00:10:43,867 --> 00:10:44,867
Join us.
256
00:10:47,867 --> 00:10:50,533
*
257
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:55,233
- No.
258
00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:01,100
- We open on a family
in front of their dream home.
259
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,300
- In order to afford
the dream home,
260
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:05,867
the family needs a loan.
Why?
261
00:11:05,867 --> 00:11:10,167
Because two maniacs ran over
their dad and ruined his life.
262
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:12,067
So the dad's long gone.
263
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:13,467
- Lost his hand.
264
00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:17,667
- Are you guys talking
about Carter Grant?
265
00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:20,767
- No.
266
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:24,067
- Okay.
- Um, so the mom needs a loan.
267
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:25,367
Who does she turn to?
268
00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:27,700
Psh, no, thanks.
269
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:30,167
Quicken Loans?
270
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,633
Hmm. Maybe.
271
00:11:32,633 --> 00:11:34,267
But who are they?
272
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:37,067
What are they?
I don't know.
273
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:39,367
Why?
274
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:41,433
Because you need a mascot.
275
00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:44,200
- Buying a home should be fun.
276
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,067
It shouldn't be scary.
277
00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:50,300
It shouldn't make you think
of your own mortality
278
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:52,100
and that we're all gonna die
279
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:55,367
and one day, a man's gonna
shove cotton up your butthole.
280
00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:57,967
I apologize; I'm going through
some personal stuff right now,
281
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,333
and I think some of it's
seeping out.
282
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:00,667
- Yeah, me too;
I'm going through
283
00:12:00,667 --> 00:12:02,067
the same stuff as him,
actually.
284
00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:03,600
- Yeah, it's the same
personal stuff
285
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:04,933
that we're going through.
- Exact same event.
286
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,233
- Uh...
287
00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:07,600
buying a home should be fun.
288
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,867
It shouldn't be scary.
289
00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:10,833
It...
290
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:18,533
You know what?
291
00:12:18,533 --> 00:12:20,533
I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
292
00:12:21,767 --> 00:12:23,333
I'm well aware that we have you
293
00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:24,867
in the palm of our hands
right now,
294
00:12:24,867 --> 00:12:27,067
and I could pull down
this card right now,
295
00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:28,667
show you this mascot.
296
00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:30,833
Oh. Oh!
297
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:34,067
And it would blow
each and every one of you
298
00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:35,500
out of the water.
299
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,733
But I'm afraid
that would all be fruit
300
00:12:37,733 --> 00:12:39,667
from a poisonous tree.
301
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:43,067
- So we respectfully
decline your business.
302
00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:45,200
Thank you for your time.
303
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,067
- Thank you for your time
and your respect.
304
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,767
- Thank you.
- No worries.
305
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:52,067
To be honest, we just set
this meeting up to be polite.
306
00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:54,333
- You know, I wish people
would quit doing that!
307
00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:56,533
It's mean!
308
00:12:56,533 --> 00:12:58,867
- This is, like, our real job,
you know what I mean?
309
00:12:58,867 --> 00:13:00,433
It's not, like, a game.
310
00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:02,267
Ugh!
311
00:13:02,267 --> 00:13:04,067
What a frickin' joke.
312
00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:09,767
- I've got to see
this mascot.
313
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,133
- Huck's been shot.
He's dead.
314
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:23,367
He's in heaven.
315
00:13:24,633 --> 00:13:27,067
- Uh, and scene.
316
00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:34,633
You loved Huck.
317
00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:38,067
- Thanks, Coach.
- Mm-hmm.
318
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,500
And again.
319
00:13:41,833 --> 00:13:43,633
He said Huck's been shot.
320
00:13:43,633 --> 00:13:44,967
He's dead.
321
00:13:44,967 --> 00:13:46,933
He's going to heaven now.
322
00:13:46,933 --> 00:13:48,233
- And scene.
323
00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:49,267
Yes!
324
00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:53,833
Yes!
325
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,200
I think we found our Mama.
326
00:14:00,567 --> 00:14:02,967
- I can't live like
this anymore.
327
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,733
We have to tell Carter
what we did.
328
00:14:05,733 --> 00:14:08,167
- No way, man.
329
00:14:08,167 --> 00:14:10,067
We'll go to jail, Sam.
330
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:12,467
We almost killed him.
331
00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:18,633
- So, uh, do you have
any ideas for a commercial?
332
00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:19,967
- We have to be honest, man.
333
00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:21,400
We don't.
334
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:22,867
What's the name
of your store again?
335
00:14:22,867 --> 00:14:25,733
- It's just called
Electronics Store.
336
00:14:25,733 --> 00:14:27,933
- Yeah, there's nothing
we can do with that.
337
00:14:35,067 --> 00:14:37,733
- And so the proof turned out
not to be in the pudding
338
00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:41,300
but, rather, in the murderer's
blood and semen.
339
00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:44,833
We'll be back
after these words.
340
00:14:44,833 --> 00:14:47,900
- This weekend, be sure
to catch "All the Fixin's,"
341
00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:50,867
an original play starring
Pistons legend Rick Mahorn.
342
00:14:52,367 --> 00:14:53,400
- It's got all the laughs,
343
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:54,400
all the tears,
344
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,533
all the fixin's.
345
00:14:55,533 --> 00:14:56,533
- That's what the TV said.
346
00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:57,500
- Tim, just--
obviously.
347
00:15:07,233 --> 00:15:08,600
*
348
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,600
- Prisoner 44,
349
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,900
why should we
let you out of jail today?
350
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:15,400
- Because it's
my mama's birthday.
351
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:19,733
*
352
00:15:19,733 --> 00:15:22,067
Hey, hey, what's up?
What's up?
353
00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:24,267
Hey, where's mama?
354
00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:27,167
- Bobby, Mama's sick.
355
00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,933
I've done everything
I can for this family,
356
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:36,533
worked my fingers
to the bone.
357
00:15:36,533 --> 00:15:38,067
- Don't talk to me
like that.
358
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,833
I'm a grown-ass man.
- Stop it. Enough!
359
00:15:40,833 --> 00:15:42,600
I'm going to get Mama.
360
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,867
- Mama!
- Mama!
361
00:15:55,567 --> 00:15:57,267
- I've been in this bed
362
00:15:57,267 --> 00:16:01,300
listening to y'all in here
fussing and cussing.
363
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,600
I ain't raised y'all
like that.
364
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,900
- Go for it, Rick.
365
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:07,633
- Someone set that stove on
366
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,900
and bring me
all the fixin's.
367
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:11,600
- Whoo!
368
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,833
- You think we gon' miss
a meal in this house?
369
00:16:13,833 --> 00:16:15,600
Bullshit!
370
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:22,600
I'll never get a chance
to tell Mama the truth
371
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,600
of what I did that day,
372
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,200
and I'll regret it
for the rest of my life.
373
00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:34,167
- We have to tell Carter.
374
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,900
- Yeah, we'll tell him
first thing tomorrow.
375
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:46,267
both: Detroit basketball!
376
00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:47,500
all: Rick! Rick! Rick!
377
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,467
Rick! Rick!
Rick! Rick!
378
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:51,933
- Don't look over there.
379
00:16:51,933 --> 00:16:53,833
Those are cars
that haven't been released yet.
380
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,467
I'm screwing around.
381
00:16:55,467 --> 00:16:56,800
Well, this is me.
382
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,133
I know. I know.
It's small.
383
00:16:58,133 --> 00:17:00,300
- Oh, no.
- It is.
384
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,400
- Tim.
- It is.
385
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,400
- So I heard you guys
really tanked
386
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:04,500
the Quicken Loans meeting, huh?
387
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:06,200
- Just chunked it.
388
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,700
- Yeah, but that's actually
not why we're here.
389
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:10,700
- Carter, we have something
390
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,233
very important to tell you.
391
00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:14,567
Well, you're catching me
on a good day.
392
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,367
You're not gonna
believe this, but, uh,
393
00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:18,467
well, I was walking home
last night.
394
00:17:18,467 --> 00:17:21,067
Who do I bump into?
Shandy Hogan.
395
00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,800
- Wow!
- Oh, that's great!
396
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,900
- Oh, you know her.
397
00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:28,067
- No.
- We were just being supportive.
398
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:30,400
- Yeah, go on,
Shandy Hogan or whatever.
399
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,300
- Yeah, Shandy Hogan, yeah,
my high school sweetheart.
400
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:34,567
First girl I ever loved,
401
00:17:34,567 --> 00:17:35,633
and guess what she does
for a living.
402
00:17:35,633 --> 00:17:36,867
- Pilot.
- No.
403
00:17:36,867 --> 00:17:38,833
- Sleazy record producer.
- No.
404
00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:39,833
- Drummer.
- No.
405
00:17:39,833 --> 00:17:41,067
- Professional muscle lady.
406
00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:42,733
- No, guys, it's something good.
407
00:17:42,733 --> 00:17:44,800
- Knight.
408
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,800
- No, she's
a physical therapist.
409
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,500
- Yeah, that's okay.
- Oh, sweet.
410
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:51,300
- No, it is good, because
we started talking about my leg.
411
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,200
Yeah, next thing you know,
we're having dinner together.
412
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,067
Next thing you know,
we've been talking so long
413
00:17:55,067 --> 00:17:56,300
that the restaurant
closes around us
414
00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:57,300
and they had to kick us out.
415
00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:58,800
- Oh, those assholes!
416
00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,867
- Oh, no, it was fine.
417
00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:01,067
It was great, actually.
418
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:02,267
I'm gonna see her again tonight.
419
00:18:02,267 --> 00:18:04,267
- Oh, Carter,
that's great.
420
00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:07,067
Had I met her a year ago,
421
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:08,900
I would have been married
to some woman that,
422
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:11,867
let's face it, I obviously
wasn't supposed to be with.
423
00:18:11,867 --> 00:18:13,533
Ain't life something?
424
00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:15,767
- So I guess you're saying
425
00:18:15,767 --> 00:18:17,533
getting hit by that car
426
00:18:17,533 --> 00:18:21,367
was the best thing
that ever happened to you.
427
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:22,933
- Well, I wouldn't say that.
428
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:26,900
- Say getting hit by that car
429
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:29,433
was the best thing
that ever happened to you?
430
00:18:29,433 --> 00:18:32,733
- No reason.
431
00:18:32,733 --> 00:18:34,633
- Might be fun
to say out loud.
432
00:18:34,633 --> 00:18:36,067
See how it feels.
433
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,467
- You guys ran over me.
434
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:54,133
- Yeah.
Yeah, we ran over you.
435
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,933
- Guilty!
436
00:18:55,933 --> 00:18:58,100
- You guys ran over me.
You did.
437
00:18:58,100 --> 00:18:59,800
You put a bag of chips
on my head,
438
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,267
and you dumped me in the woods,
and you left me for dead.
439
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,700
"You threw me in
the woods and left me for dead."
440
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:07,367
Yes or no?
441
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:09,300
- Yes!
We ran you over.
442
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,967
- Carter, we are so sorry.
443
00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:14,867
- You dumb son of a bitches
ruined my life.
444
00:19:14,867 --> 00:19:16,367
- Look, it was just
an accident.
445
00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:17,867
- Yeah, Carter,
446
00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:19,467
we'll do anything
to make it up to you.
447
00:19:19,467 --> 00:19:21,433
How are you gonna make up
448
00:19:21,433 --> 00:19:23,767
starting off a chain of events
that led to this?
449
00:19:23,767 --> 00:19:26,367
- Well, I mean, there's got
to be something.
450
00:19:26,367 --> 00:19:28,333
- No, there's nothing
you could do
451
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,200
to make us even
for what you've done to me.
452
00:19:32,367 --> 00:19:33,567
- Yes, there is.
453
00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:37,800
- Oh, you think I'm just gonna
let you off
454
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,133
by sucking my ?
455
00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:40,500
- That's not it.
456
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:41,833
- That's not it.
- Oh, okay, okay.
457
00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:43,100
That's not what I was thinking.
- Okay.
458
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,133
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
459
00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:48,100
- This sucks!
460
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:58,200
- No!
- Hey, uh, we changed our minds.
461
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,167
Well, tough shit,
'cause here I come.
462
00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:02,367
[engine revving,
tires squealing]
463
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,300
Aaaah!
464
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:05,800
- Cover up your hog!
465
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,867
- I can't.
My hands aren't big enough.
466
00:20:07,867 --> 00:20:09,367
That's good.
467
00:20:11,633 --> 00:20:13,333
*
468
00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:16,333
[The Platters'
"You'll Never, Never Know]
469
00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:24,633
*
470
00:20:28,867 --> 00:20:30,867
Sons of bitches.
471
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,333
- * You'll never know *
472
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:38,200
- * You'll never, never know
I care *
473
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,333
- * Wah, oh
474
00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:40,767
- * You'll never know *
475
00:20:40,767 --> 00:20:42,867
* The torch I bear
476
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,500
- I'd piss on you
right now,
477
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:47,500
but I'm a Chrysler man.
478
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:50,200
That's not how we do things.
479
00:20:52,767 --> 00:20:55,333
- * No, no, you'll never *
480
00:20:55,333 --> 00:20:58,967
* Oh, no, you'll never *
481
00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:03,700
* Ever know
482
00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:08,300
- * You'll never know *
483
00:21:13,633 --> 00:21:14,833
- All right, that's it, folks!
484
00:21:14,833 --> 00:21:16,367
I have been Richard Karn.
485
00:21:16,367 --> 00:21:18,067
You have been wonderful.
486
00:21:18,067 --> 00:21:19,800
Drive safe.
We'll see you next year.
487
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,200
And if you're watching at home,
488
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,367
I don't know how.
489
00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:23,600
We're not televised.
490
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:24,867
Good night, everybody!
33810
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