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00:00:12,033 --> 00:00:14,033
*
2
00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:15,433
- Good morning, Detroit.
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00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:17,533
Get your hot rods ready
because this weekend
4
00:00:17,533 --> 00:00:20,267
is the famous
Woodward Dream Cruise.
5
00:00:20,267 --> 00:00:22,200
Our own Harvey Bart
is spending the day
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00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,067
soaking up all the action.
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00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,933
Let's see how he's doing.
Harvey.
8
00:00:25,933 --> 00:00:27,367
- Good morning, Nadine.
9
00:00:27,367 --> 00:00:28,967
Well, somebody pinch me
'cause I am
10
00:00:28,967 --> 00:00:30,867
definitely dreaming down here
at the Dream Cruise.
11
00:00:30,867 --> 00:00:32,233
So many fun people,
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00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,067
so many great cars
all driving
13
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:36,533
up and down the street
like they do here every year.
14
00:00:36,533 --> 00:00:38,200
So much fun.
15
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,600
Not much else is happening,
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00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,700
just people driving
up and down the street.
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00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:42,733
- We're gonna cut you off
right there.
18
00:00:42,733 --> 00:00:43,733
Thanks, Harvey.
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00:00:43,733 --> 00:00:45,033
Later in the hour,
20
00:00:45,033 --> 00:00:46,400
celebrity chef
Margaret Peretti
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00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,133
will join us
to show us how to make
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00:00:48,133 --> 00:00:49,800
some fun
'50s-inspired dishes
23
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as well as apologize
24
00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:52,367
for her now-infamous
25
00:00:52,367 --> 00:00:54,067
anti-Semitic rant
from last week.
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00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:57,433
But first, we have with us
two local admen
27
00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:59,567
who started their own
T-shirt company.
28
00:00:59,567 --> 00:01:02,600
Tim Cramblin and Sam Duvet,
welcome.
29
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,267
- Thanks for having us
on the show, Nadine.
30
00:01:04,267 --> 00:01:05,533
- We watch you all the time.
31
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,100
- Oh, Thanks. Now--
32
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- Not--not like
in a stalker way
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'cause, you know--
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not like a person
who's, like, obsessed.
35
00:01:12,267 --> 00:01:13,967
- Chill out.
- Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
36
00:01:13,967 --> 00:01:15,767
- Don't touch her.
- I won't. It's not--
37
00:01:15,767 --> 00:01:17,433
- Tell us
about the T-shirts.
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00:01:17,433 --> 00:01:20,333
- Well, it seems like
everywhere you go these days,
39
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you see T-shirts
with Detroit slogans on them.
40
00:01:22,633 --> 00:01:24,267
- Psh, you said it, Tim.
41
00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:26,867
You may be familiar
with "Detroit vs. Everybody."
42
00:01:26,867 --> 00:01:28,633
- Just the best.
43
00:01:28,633 --> 00:01:29,967
- And "Detroit Hustles Harder."
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- You can't beat it.
45
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- You sure can't,
which is why
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we're proud
to present to you
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00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:39,333
our very own T-shirt,
"De-two-roit."
48
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,267
- And we'd like to thank
our crew members
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00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,933
Lea and Tommy Pencils
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00:01:42,933 --> 00:01:45,833
for modeling our "De-two-roit"
T-shirts today.
51
00:01:45,833 --> 00:01:48,433
Uh, take it easy on Tommy.
He's a little nervous.
52
00:01:48,433 --> 00:01:52,167
He's not used to being in front
of the camera for a change.
53
00:01:52,167 --> 00:01:53,800
- Well, I got
to be honest, guys.
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I don't get it.
55
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It looks like you put a 2
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00:01:56,267 --> 00:01:57,700
where the T should be.
57
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,767
- Uh, no, not looks like.
That's what we did.
58
00:01:59,767 --> 00:02:02,533
- Yeah, so now
it's "De-two-roit."
59
00:02:02,533 --> 00:02:05,267
- "De-two-roit."
60
00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:08,067
- Well...
- Asking--
61
00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:10,567
- That can best be explained
by a freestyle rap
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00:02:10,567 --> 00:02:13,067
performed by Lea
and Tommy Pencils.
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00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,567
- Sounds like fun.
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00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:17,167
Lea, Tommy Pencils,
take it away.
65
00:02:17,167 --> 00:02:20,633
- * If you're in the market
for a cool T-shirt *
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00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:24,267
- Uh...uh...
- Oh, no.
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00:02:26,433 --> 00:02:29,800
- * If you're in the market
for a cool T-shirt *
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00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:33,867
- Yes, this is live.
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00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:35,933
- But on a commercial break.
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00:02:38,267 --> 00:02:41,067
- No, he can do it.
- Yeah, lead him in again, Lea.
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00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:45,067
- * If you're in the market
for a cool T-shirt *
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00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:47,533
- Uh...uh...
73
00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:51,233
- Oh, oh, oh, oh!
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00:02:51,233 --> 00:02:52,367
- Oh, no!
- Oh, my goodness.
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00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,200
Assholes.
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00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,267
- * Next time
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* When they ask you
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00:02:57,433 --> 00:02:59,733
* Where you're from *
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00:02:59,733 --> 00:03:01,600
* You gon' say Detroit city *
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00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:05,733
* When we get back on our feet,
yeah *
81
00:03:05,733 --> 00:03:07,267
* Yeah
82
00:03:08,267 --> 00:03:09,267
- Morning, Sheila.
83
00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:10,267
Where you going?
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00:03:11,833 --> 00:03:13,667
I don't feel well.
85
00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:15,900
I'm going to go home
and lay down.
86
00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:19,833
- Then why are you dressed
like a Pink Lady?
87
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,067
Are you going
to the Woodward Dream Cruise?
88
00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:28,067
- All right, well,
have fun.
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I mean feel better.
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00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:35,633
*
91
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,267
- They bought it.
92
00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:40,233
- Heard her.
93
00:03:40,233 --> 00:03:41,233
- She said it out loud.
94
00:03:41,233 --> 00:03:43,067
- I heard you, bud.
95
00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:46,433
There she is.
96
00:03:46,433 --> 00:03:48,133
- The doctor says
our insurance lapsed
97
00:03:48,133 --> 00:03:50,133
because you two haven't
been paying the premiums.
98
00:03:50,133 --> 00:03:52,167
- Lea, insurance is for suckers
and for chumps.
99
00:03:52,167 --> 00:03:53,467
Everybody knows that.
- Mm-hmm.
100
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,833
- Well, this is
how much you owe.
101
00:03:57,900 --> 00:03:59,333
- Ooh.
102
00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:01,200
That's ridiculous.
103
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,800
Lea, if we had
that much money,
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00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,367
this place would be
wall-to-wall pinball machines.
105
00:04:05,367 --> 00:04:07,067
- And a skee ball machine
for exercise.
106
00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:08,700
- Mm-hmm.
- Reactivate the insurance,
107
00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:11,067
or I'm gonna have to quit
and get another job.
108
00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:12,900
- You know, I really hate
to pile on here,
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00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:16,233
but if Lea goes, I go.
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00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:20,733
- I worked here 30 years.
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00:04:20,733 --> 00:04:24,200
Your dad hired me,
and I stand with Lea.
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If you lose her, you lose me.
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- I don't even know you.
114
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- We didn't even know
you were here.
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00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,133
- All's I'm saying is,
if Lea goes, then I go.
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- Go.
117
00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:36,800
- Well, I'm sorry
it had to end like this.
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*
119
00:04:38,633 --> 00:04:41,167
Okay, Lea, let's go.
120
00:04:41,167 --> 00:04:43,300
I'm not leaving.
121
00:04:45,133 --> 00:04:49,133
- Okay, well, uh,
I guess I'm leaving.
122
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Who's coming with me?
123
00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:52,300
Anybody?
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00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:55,167
Sam?
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00:04:55,167 --> 00:04:59,167
- Psh, buddy, no way.
126
00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:01,367
- Very well.
127
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:06,100
*
128
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:07,967
- Oh, thanks for having
our backs on that, Lea.
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00:05:07,967 --> 00:05:09,633
- Well, that settles that.
130
00:05:09,633 --> 00:05:12,867
- Everything's not settled.
- Okay, look.
131
00:05:12,867 --> 00:05:14,600
We'll find the money.
Just give us a week.
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00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,433
- A month would be great.
133
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,200
- I'll give you
till 5:00 tonight,
134
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,567
or I'm gonna walk out of here
just like Wallace.
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00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:24,767
- I'm Wallace!
136
00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:26,467
- Get out of here, man!
- Jesus, man, just go!
137
00:05:28,633 --> 00:05:31,367
- We'll find the money, Lea.
- Trust us.
138
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,633
- * If you're in the market *
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00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:35,133
* For a cool T-shirt
140
00:05:35,133 --> 00:05:37,600
* A "De-two-roit" one
couldn't hurt *
141
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:38,700
- Now he can do it.
142
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,067
- I mean, Tommy,
we love ya,
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00:05:40,067 --> 00:05:41,900
but you're too little,
too late.
144
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,767
- Yeah, and I wouldn't
fall asleep tonight.
145
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You may have a concussion.
- You definitely do.
146
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- Yeah, man.
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*
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00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:54,833
- Okay, I made a list
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00:05:54,833 --> 00:05:56,200
of every client
that owes us money.
150
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,633
- Do we really
have to do this?
151
00:05:57,633 --> 00:05:59,367
It's so uncomfortable.
152
00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:02,100
- Yes, we do.
It's for Lea.
153
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,467
She's like family.
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00:06:03,467 --> 00:06:07,200
- You're right.
Let's do this.
155
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,233
- Well, I don't think
you need that bat.
156
00:06:09,233 --> 00:06:11,067
- I don't think you need
those knuckles.
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00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,700
Put it down first.
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00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:18,933
- You put yours down first.
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00:06:18,933 --> 00:06:21,567
both: Same time.
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00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:26,700
*
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00:06:28,867 --> 00:06:30,100
- All right, let's go.
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00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:32,400
- All right, first up,
Devereux Wigs.
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- * Ooh, Devereux
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- Devereux Wigs.
165
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- * Ooh, Devereux
166
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- Devereux Wigs.
167
00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:48,233
- * Ooh, Devereux
168
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,633
- Devereux Wigs.
169
00:06:50,633 --> 00:06:52,467
We guarantee our wigs
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00:06:52,467 --> 00:06:56,767
are no longer made
from hair off dead bodies.
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00:06:56,767 --> 00:06:59,700
- Rhonda Devereux
is the devil!
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00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,167
I can't pay you any money.
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00:07:05,167 --> 00:07:06,867
No one's bought a wig
since they found out
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00:07:06,867 --> 00:07:08,533
we used hair from dead bodies.
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00:07:08,533 --> 00:07:10,067
- You're a monster!
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00:07:10,067 --> 00:07:12,600
- I don't use
dead people hair anymore.
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00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,433
Who's the monster?
178
00:07:15,433 --> 00:07:17,533
Me for shaving the hair
off corpses
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00:07:17,533 --> 00:07:18,967
or the rest of the world
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00:07:18,967 --> 00:07:21,467
for burying
that silky hair underground
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where no one can use it?
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00:07:23,267 --> 00:07:25,200
- Well, I mean,
we did the work.
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00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,633
You have to pay us.
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00:07:26,633 --> 00:07:29,433
- I'm sorry.
I could pay you in wigs.
185
00:07:29,433 --> 00:07:33,267
- Rhonda, is the hair made
from dead people?
186
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:37,667
No.
187
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:39,200
- Oh! Rhonda!
- Oh, no, no.
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That's from a skunk.
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00:07:40,767 --> 00:07:43,667
- I was supposed
to marry Shane Battier.
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00:07:43,667 --> 00:07:46,933
I'm not supposed
to be scalping skunks.
191
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,700
- I don't think you're ever
supposed to scalp a skunk.
192
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,200
- Yeah, and it's not
an either/or
193
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,767
between scalping a skunk
and marrying Shane Battier.
194
00:07:52,767 --> 00:07:55,067
Who's next?
- Cash for Copper.
195
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,833
both: Cash for your copper.
196
00:07:56,833 --> 00:07:58,300
- Do you have copper
just laying around?
197
00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:00,267
- We will give you cash
for your copper.
198
00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:02,533
- Do you know a place where
copper is just laying around?
199
00:08:02,533 --> 00:08:04,767
- We will give you cash
for your copper.
200
00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:06,233
- If you should happen
to find copper
201
00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:08,900
in someone else's walls
or in a city fountain,
202
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:10,233
can we give you cash for that?
203
00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:11,900
- Well, legally,
we can't say yeah.
204
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,167
- But what we can do
is wink.
205
00:08:15,867 --> 00:08:17,700
Sorry, guys.
We just can't pay you.
206
00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:19,067
Are you sure?
207
00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:21,233
- Yeah, man,
this might actually be
208
00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:23,433
one of our
worst years ever...
209
00:08:23,433 --> 00:08:24,733
on the books.
210
00:08:24,733 --> 00:08:26,733
- Yeah, we ain't seeing
no profits...
211
00:08:26,733 --> 00:08:28,067
on the books.
212
00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:29,367
- Yeah, we might even
be showing
213
00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:31,867
some losses...
on the books.
214
00:08:31,867 --> 00:08:33,267
- We are in debt
215
00:08:33,267 --> 00:08:34,667
up to our asses...
216
00:08:34,667 --> 00:08:35,833
on the books.
217
00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:38,267
- So you can see
how it would be
218
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,900
incongruous if we paid you...
219
00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:42,933
on the books.
220
00:08:42,933 --> 00:08:45,333
- What we can do is meaningfully
look in the direction
221
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:47,867
of that big fat envelope
over there
222
00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:49,300
and just walk away.
223
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:55,867
- Aw, tough break, man.
I feel bad for them.
224
00:08:55,867 --> 00:08:58,500
- I don't. You got to get paid
for the work you do.
225
00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:00,100
- That's true.
- If it don't make money,
226
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:01,967
it don't make sense.
227
00:09:01,967 --> 00:09:05,300
- Sam, we have to go
to that improv place
228
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,067
so you can shout out
suggestions.
229
00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:09,067
- They're just gonna
boo me again.
230
00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:11,233
- Pete the Plumber.
231
00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:13,600
- But he said next time
he sees us, he's gonna kill us.
232
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,333
- Well, we have to try.
233
00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:19,667
- If you got a plumbing problem,
call me, Pete the Plumber.
234
00:09:19,667 --> 00:09:21,833
I'll take care of everything,
235
00:09:21,833 --> 00:09:23,833
like leaky faucets,
236
00:09:23,833 --> 00:09:25,433
rusty pipes,
237
00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:27,067
water heaters,
238
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,500
and toilets.
239
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,767
- We need our money.
240
00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:34,400
- Bro, you showed a shit.
241
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,600
- You showed a shit, bro.
242
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,433
- Listen, contracts were signed.
Services were delivered.
243
00:09:41,433 --> 00:09:43,300
I mean, business is business.
244
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:45,267
It's not personal.
245
00:09:48,133 --> 00:09:49,133
- That's how you laugh, bro.
246
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,767
- That is how you laugh, Sam.
247
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:56,500
- That's how you laugh, Tim.
248
00:09:58,733 --> 00:10:00,667
- Ha-ha-ha!
Huh-huh-huh!
249
00:10:04,433 --> 00:10:05,967
Hey!
250
00:10:05,967 --> 00:10:07,900
Get out of here with these
stupid-ass T-shirts.
251
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,833
- Oh, no, these aren't stupid,
and they're for sale.
252
00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:12,933
- They don't make sense.
- Actually, they do.
253
00:10:12,933 --> 00:10:14,267
It's a play on the word
"Detroit."
254
00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:15,267
- Yeah.
- It's...
255
00:10:15,267 --> 00:10:17,500
both: "De-two-roit."
256
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:19,167
- Oh.
257
00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,433
Get the out of here.
258
00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:22,933
- Seems like
everywhere you go,
259
00:10:22,933 --> 00:10:25,400
you see shirts
with Detroit slogans.
260
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,733
Okay. Who's next?
261
00:10:27,733 --> 00:10:29,733
- Our last hope,
262
00:10:29,733 --> 00:10:32,767
Roz Chunks,
the mom attorney.
263
00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:39,800
Hey, Linda, is Roz at the office
or in court today?
264
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,167
Oh, she is
265
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,333
Yeah, no, you too.
266
00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:49,767
Hey, bye, Linda.
267
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:54,433
- Man, you and Linda,
I swear.
268
00:10:54,433 --> 00:10:56,267
- Shut up.
269
00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:58,400
- Linda said that Roz is out
at her place in Royal Oak
270
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,300
'cause she had
a double colonoscopy yesterday.
271
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,367
- Man, Linda just
tells you everything, man.
272
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:04,967
- Can you forget about Linda
and just head to Royal Oak?
273
00:11:04,967 --> 00:11:07,367
If Roz pays up,
we should have enough.
274
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,333
You know, it's getting late.
We should book it.
275
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:11,233
- With pleasure, my friend.
276
00:11:11,233 --> 00:11:14,533
Oh, no.
277
00:11:14,533 --> 00:11:16,367
- Dream Cruise.
278
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,233
*
279
00:11:28,433 --> 00:11:31,067
- I mean, can't we just
cut through Vinsetta?
280
00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:33,767
- No. All the roads
are blocked off.
281
00:11:33,767 --> 00:11:35,900
Plus, it would take too long
to go back and go around.
282
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:37,267
We got to just go through.
283
00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:40,733
- Whoa! Whoa, whoa!
284
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:45,633
- What are you doing
with this piece of junk here?
285
00:11:45,633 --> 00:11:47,400
This is the Dream Cruise.
286
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,833
Back it up.
Get this shit out of here.
287
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:51,400
- You back it up.
- You back it up.
288
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,433
- You back it up.
- Your shirts are stupid.
289
00:11:56,133 --> 00:12:00,367
Okay, pal, let's put some tits
on this puppy.
290
00:12:00,367 --> 00:12:02,700
* Putting lipstick on a turd
291
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,967
* Putting makeup on a shit
292
00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:07,867
* Put a dress on a dookie
293
00:12:07,867 --> 00:12:10,067
* Then I'm kissing it *
294
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:12,167
* Lipstick on a turd
295
00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:14,500
- * Lipstick on a turd
296
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,900
- * Lipstick
on a turd *
297
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:19,200
- * Lipstick on a turd
298
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,867
- * Haven't you heard *
299
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,733
* I'm putting lipstick
on a turd *
300
00:12:27,733 --> 00:12:28,900
*
301
00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:44,433
*
302
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,833
- All right, yeah!
303
00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:51,633
- Yeah! Whoo!
304
00:12:51,633 --> 00:12:53,333
- Dream Cruise, baby!
305
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:55,700
- She cleans up okay!
306
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:57,567
*
307
00:12:57,567 --> 00:12:59,633
- * Lipstick
on a turd *
308
00:12:59,633 --> 00:13:01,933
- * Lipstick on a turd
309
00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:04,533
- * Lipstick
on a turd *
310
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,733
- * Lipstick on a turd
311
00:13:06,733 --> 00:13:08,067
- * Haven't you heard *
312
00:13:08,067 --> 00:13:10,533
- Oh, there's Sheila
and Fletcher
313
00:13:10,533 --> 00:13:12,267
and his Diamond Dogs.
314
00:13:12,267 --> 00:13:15,200
- She loves
them bad boys, man.
315
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,600
- Nothing but trouble.
316
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,867
- Just go out
with a nice man.
317
00:13:18,867 --> 00:13:20,700
Why do they all have
to be rebels?
318
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,900
*
319
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:24,400
- * Lipstick on a turd
320
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:25,933
- Well, all right,
let's get this money
321
00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:28,400
from Roz Chunks,
the mom lawyer.
322
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,300
- Have you been
injured or wronged?
323
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:31,633
Convicted of DUI?
324
00:13:31,633 --> 00:13:32,933
Accused of murder
325
00:13:32,933 --> 00:13:34,567
or had murder
attempted onto you?
326
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:36,267
Call me, Roz Chunks,
327
00:13:36,267 --> 00:13:38,733
and remember,
I'm not just a lawyer.
328
00:13:38,733 --> 00:13:40,800
I'm a mama.
329
00:13:45,633 --> 00:13:47,267
Can we take a break, son?
330
00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:49,200
- Up yours,
Roz Chunks!
331
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,067
- Well, you raise 'em
from a pup,
332
00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:53,200
they grow up to be a dog.
333
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,600
You know, what can you do?
334
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,767
- Any form of discipline.
- Talk to him.
335
00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:56,967
Hit him.
- I mean anything.
336
00:13:56,967 --> 00:13:58,600
- I really would love
to help you.
337
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,633
You know that.
I just--I don't have the money.
338
00:14:00,633 --> 00:14:02,767
See, my kid just learned
how to masturbate,
339
00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:04,433
so you know what that means.
340
00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:06,267
- No, I definitely don't.
- I absolutely do not.
341
00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:08,333
- Well, long story short,
342
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:11,433
he got sent home from camp
for being "disruptive,"
343
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:12,867
as the nuns put it.
344
00:14:12,867 --> 00:14:14,333
- Well, you really don't have
to get into it.
345
00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:15,700
- You know, I don't want
346
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:17,500
to discourage him
or, like, shame him,
347
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,800
make him think he's doing,
like, a bad thing, you know.
348
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,100
It's just the way he does it.
349
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:23,700
It's wrong.
350
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:25,933
You know, it's just, like,
the dead-eye stare
351
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,300
and his little shuffling feet
352
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:29,933
and yelling when he busts.
353
00:14:29,933 --> 00:14:31,533
He's already gone through
all of his soccer socks,
354
00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:32,967
moved on to shin pads.
355
00:14:32,967 --> 00:14:34,800
- Shin pads.
- Well, anyway,
356
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,067
little tugger got ahold
of my credit card
357
00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:40,633
and signed up for some pretty
expensive pay-to-play sites,
358
00:14:40,633 --> 00:14:42,800
and I didn't--you know,
I didn't say anything at first
359
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,167
'cause it was all that, like--
360
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:45,667
it was granny fanny
kind of stuff,
361
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,700
and his gram-gram
had just passed.
362
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,833
- Oh, sorry for your loss.
- Oh, it wasn't my mother.
363
00:14:49,833 --> 00:14:51,200
So I just--I didn't want
to, you know,
364
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,800
interrupt
his grieving process
365
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,433
or whatever,
so I ignored it.
366
00:14:54,433 --> 00:14:55,833
- Well, you know,
since you don't have the money,
367
00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:57,467
we're just gonna take--
368
00:14:57,467 --> 00:14:59,200
- It must have worked, too,
'cause, you know,
369
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,533
then I see
he's going on all these,
370
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,333
like, obscure sites, you know--
371
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:03,767
- Well, gonna be hell
getting back.
372
00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:05,733
- Yeah, well, if it was
the cartoon stuff,
373
00:15:05,733 --> 00:15:07,167
I'd understand, right?
374
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,500
'Cause that's for kids,
you know.
375
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,400
You got, like,
a jacked Ned Flanders
376
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,700
just reaming Marge Simpson
377
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:15,067
or, like--or, like,
Bart doing Lisa
378
00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:16,933
with a huge dripping hog.
379
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:18,433
It's funny 'cause, like,
380
00:15:18,433 --> 00:15:20,533
you know it's incest,
but it's okay
381
00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:22,733
'cause they're cartoons, right?
382
00:15:22,733 --> 00:15:25,933
Groundskeeper Willie's always
in there somewhere.
383
00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:28,400
He's got--he's got
a pretty nice piece too.
384
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,067
Who else?
Who else?
385
00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:31,567
- Milhouse.
- Sure, yeah, Milhouse.
386
00:15:31,567 --> 00:15:34,533
Glasses, ripped shirt,
huge dripping hog,
387
00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:35,833
blue pubes everywhere.
388
00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:37,333
Yup.
389
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,533
- Well, it's fine
you don't have the money.
390
00:15:39,533 --> 00:15:40,733
- Yeah, we understand.
391
00:15:40,733 --> 00:15:42,167
- Hey, bud,
392
00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:43,333
I'll give you ten bucks
393
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:44,900
for one of these T-shirts.
394
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,733
- Oh, absolutely.
395
00:15:46,733 --> 00:15:49,067
I'm glad you like 'em.
396
00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:51,900
Finally, someone appreciates
our humorous fashion.
397
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,500
- Hmm.
- It ain't for fashion, buddy.
398
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:55,900
I'm gonna bust a nut in this.
399
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:59,067
- Ugh, little rascal.
What can you do?
400
00:15:59,067 --> 00:16:00,600
- Any form of discipline,
honestly.
401
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,600
- Hit him.
402
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:08,167
How are we gonna turn
this $10 into what we need?
403
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:15,100
*
404
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:21,967
- Ouch!
405
00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:25,133
You scratched my neck, man!
That's assault!
406
00:16:25,133 --> 00:16:26,600
- Sir, I've got you on camera,
all right?
407
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,733
You assaulted my friend.
408
00:16:27,733 --> 00:16:29,667
What's your name, bro?
409
00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:32,600
- Ah, it's not even red.
410
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,300
- Shoot.
411
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,433
- I can't believe
we turned $10 into $7,400.
412
00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:38,067
- I know.
413
00:16:38,067 --> 00:16:39,967
I can't believe
you lost it on one spin.
414
00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:41,467
- I was on a roll.
415
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:42,933
- You bet on green.
416
00:16:42,933 --> 00:16:44,767
- Bah! Well, you tried
to flip the table over.
417
00:16:44,767 --> 00:16:46,233
- It was so frickin' heavy.
- Yeah, I know.
418
00:16:46,233 --> 00:16:47,567
That's why I tried
to karate chop it in half.
419
00:16:51,567 --> 00:16:55,233
*
420
00:16:55,233 --> 00:16:57,733
- Well, that's it.
421
00:16:57,733 --> 00:16:58,833
We failed.
422
00:16:58,833 --> 00:17:00,900
Lea's gonna quit,
423
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:05,200
and the only T-shirt we sold
is now a little bully's nut rag.
424
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,200
Go ahead, Sam.
Try and cheer me up.
425
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,333
- No can do,
my number one pal.
426
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:13,200
We chunked it,
and we chunked it hard.
427
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,633
- Well, let's go tell her.
428
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,233
- Hey.
- Oh!
429
00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:18,800
- I'm sorry to bother you,
430
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,167
but I know how important
Lea is to you guys,
431
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:23,167
so I came in
to crunch some numbers,
432
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,467
and it turns out that
with my salary off the books,
433
00:17:26,467 --> 00:17:29,667
you cleared enough money
to pay the insurance premium.
434
00:17:29,667 --> 00:17:32,233
- Awesome!
- Oh, that's great. Thanks!
435
00:17:32,233 --> 00:17:34,500
- Yeah, I thought
that would make you happy.
436
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,533
So?
437
00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:44,667
- Well, I solved the problem.
438
00:17:44,667 --> 00:17:47,300
I'm an asset to the company.
I proved my worth.
439
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:50,667
- You also proved that we can't
afford to hire you back.
440
00:17:51,867 --> 00:17:55,967
- Oh, Wallace, you idiot.
441
00:17:55,967 --> 00:17:58,467
*
442
00:17:58,467 --> 00:18:00,367
- I feel bad for him.
- Yeah, I know.
443
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:01,533
He really saved the day.
444
00:18:01,533 --> 00:18:03,900
- He did.
- Lea, guess what.
445
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,733
- We got your insurance.
446
00:18:05,733 --> 00:18:07,067
You can stay.
447
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:08,633
- We saved the day.
448
00:18:08,633 --> 00:18:10,933
- That's actually really cool
of you guys.
449
00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:12,400
Thanks.
- Come on in here, girl.
450
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:13,533
Come on. Come on, now.
451
00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:14,733
- Get in here,
little stinker.
452
00:18:14,733 --> 00:18:16,067
Don't be a little stinker.
453
00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:18,367
- Mm, you little stinker.
454
00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:20,100
- Lea, were you really
gonna quit?
455
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,300
- Yeah.
- Oh, well,
456
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:22,367
you don't have to now,
so come on.
457
00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:23,567
Come on. Get a little huggy.
458
00:18:23,567 --> 00:18:24,900
- Come on.
- Little huggy in there.
459
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:25,900
- We love you.
- We love you so much.
460
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:26,900
- Got to know we love you.
461
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:28,233
We definitely love you.
462
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,767
- I'm sure gon'
miss this place.
463
00:18:29,767 --> 00:18:31,133
- Get...out of here, man!
- Get out of here, man.
464
00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:32,933
What are you still
doing here?
465
00:18:32,933 --> 00:18:34,800
- I'm done with it!
- Don't make me say it again.
466
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,067
It's gonna get ugly.
467
00:18:36,067 --> 00:18:37,067
- Go!
468
00:18:40,267 --> 00:18:44,300
[indistinct speech
over P.A. system]
469
00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:46,200
- You know, I'm really glad
we got insurance.
470
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,800
I haven't been to the doctor
in ten years.
471
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,467
Not since Spuds MacKenzie
bit me at Autorama.
472
00:18:51,467 --> 00:18:53,833
- Well, you tried
to take off his sunglasses.
473
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,767
- He frickin' freaked.
474
00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:57,767
- I'm so scared.
475
00:18:57,767 --> 00:18:59,700
What's gonna happen
when we go in there?
476
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:01,400
- I have no idea.
477
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:05,933
- I hope the doctor's hot
like Terry Bradshaw.
478
00:19:09,867 --> 00:19:13,067
- Sam Duvet.
479
00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:16,533
- See ya, bud.
- Yeah.
480
00:19:18,733 --> 00:19:21,900
- I'd say I'm good
for about 10 or 12.
481
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,433
That's not bad.
Well...
482
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,233
- You drink
10 or 12 beers a day?
483
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:30,533
- Yes, of course.
484
00:19:30,533 --> 00:19:31,767
- Pff...
485
00:19:39,233 --> 00:19:40,867
- You're still counting.
486
00:19:40,867 --> 00:19:43,433
- Yeah, I can just
do 'em like this.
487
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,067
- Yeah.
488
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:46,700
- How many hot dogs
do you eat in a day, Tim?
489
00:19:48,433 --> 00:19:50,600
- I'd rather not answer that.
Thank you, though.
490
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:55,367
- Not exactly.
491
00:19:55,367 --> 00:19:57,100
Why are you bringing this up?
492
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:58,767
- Well, you have mustard
on your shirt,
493
00:19:58,767 --> 00:20:00,700
and frankly,
your burps reek of hot dogs.
494
00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:04,167
- I had a hot dog bowl
earlier today.
495
00:20:04,167 --> 00:20:05,200
Yes, I did.
496
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:09,767
- It's like a burrito bowl,
497
00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:13,567
but it's chopped-up hot dogs
in a big old bread bowl.
498
00:20:13,567 --> 00:20:16,833
- So like a much larger,
less healthy hot dog?
499
00:20:16,833 --> 00:20:18,433
I'm starving.
500
00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:20,933
- Oh, it's fine.
501
00:20:20,933 --> 00:20:22,667
Can you tell me what these are?
502
00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:24,000
- Looks like you've got
a Vicodin,
503
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,500
Lipitor, two Percocet,
504
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,700
half a Pepto Bismol,
and a green M&M.
505
00:20:30,267 --> 00:20:31,767
Why would you do that?
506
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:35,600
Oh, no.
507
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,133
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
508
00:20:41,667 --> 00:20:42,767
Oh, my God.
509
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:46,233
- I think I'm pregnant.
510
00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:49,167
I'm late.
511
00:20:49,167 --> 00:20:51,200
- Ma'am, I don't think
you can have a baby.
512
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,200
- You're telling me!
513
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,500
My parents would kill me.
514
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:58,167
Now, let's do this.
515
00:20:58,167 --> 00:20:59,533
Where are the stirrups?
516
00:20:59,533 --> 00:21:00,833
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.
517
00:21:00,833 --> 00:21:02,067
- I can't have a baby!
518
00:21:02,067 --> 00:21:03,500
I'm a dancer!
519
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,633
- Cheryl!
520
00:21:05,633 --> 00:21:08,367
[indistinct speech
over P.A. system]
36119
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