All language subtitles for Detroiters.S01E05.Happy.Birthday.Mr.Duvet.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-Cinefeel_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:13,400 * 2 00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:15,100 - You look beautiful tonight. 3 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,267 both: Thank you. 4 00:00:18,133 --> 00:00:20,267 - My beautiful wife, of course. 5 00:00:20,367 --> 00:00:23,933 Not my beautiful best friend. 6 00:00:24,033 --> 00:00:26,567 * 7 00:00:26,667 --> 00:00:27,767 - David, Joy. 8 00:00:27,867 --> 00:00:29,567 Hey. - Hey. 9 00:00:29,667 --> 00:00:32,400 - Can you believe your dad is turning 60? 10 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,900 So old! 11 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:34,933 You know what he needs to do? 12 00:00:35,033 --> 00:00:36,433 Start eating soft foods so he won't 13 00:00:36,533 --> 00:00:37,933 have to get dentures in a minute. 14 00:00:38,033 --> 00:00:39,100 - That's not how teeth work, David. 15 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,833 - Okay. 16 00:00:40,933 --> 00:00:42,300 We better go work on our speeches for your father. 17 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,000 - Y'all better bring your A-game. 18 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,967 I've got a little something special planned for tonight. 19 00:00:48,067 --> 00:00:49,967 - You don't have to say that to Sam. 20 00:00:50,067 --> 00:00:51,500 He kills it every year. 21 00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:55,833 - All right, see you guys. 22 00:00:55,933 --> 00:00:57,333 - Later. 23 00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:59,833 These speeches make me so nervous 24 00:01:00,067 --> 00:01:01,500 'cause you know Dad's just gonna pick it apart. 25 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,733 Ums and ahs 26 00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:06,233 let the audience know you're not prepared. 27 00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:07,500 - You know what you're gonna say? 28 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,400 - Please. I spent the last year crafting 29 00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:13,300 two pages of hilarious jokes about Dad's mustache. 30 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,300 - Damn. That is good. 31 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,100 - Hey, happy birthday, Lawrence! 32 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,100 - Oh, hey, Mom. Hi, Daddy. 33 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:20,600 - My darling. 34 00:01:23,633 --> 00:01:25,533 Son. 35 00:01:25,633 --> 00:01:26,367 * 36 00:01:29,633 --> 00:01:31,100 * 37 00:01:32,733 --> 00:01:36,100 Dad, you... 38 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,800 you shaved your mustache. 39 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:40,767 - Yes, son. One should never stop evolving. 40 00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:43,900 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to welcome my guests. 41 00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:47,500 - Look at you two all dressed up. 42 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,067 - Mommy. - Come here, sweetie. 43 00:01:49,133 --> 00:01:50,300 - Hey, Mommy. 44 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,633 - And Tim, look at you. 45 00:01:53,733 --> 00:01:54,900 Give me a twirl. 46 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:58,267 Come on! I love it! 47 00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:04,367 - Greetings. Greetings, all of you. 48 00:02:04,467 --> 00:02:08,467 My perfect wife and I would like to welcome you 49 00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:11,333 to the celebration of my 60th birthday. 50 00:02:11,433 --> 00:02:13,467 Now, my family teases me 51 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,467 about being too critical of the speeches 52 00:02:16,567 --> 00:02:19,100 that people make at events like these. 53 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,300 But I think they're exaggerating. 54 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,333 But now, if you're gonna make a speech, 55 00:02:26,433 --> 00:02:29,267 pretend that there's a little, tiny baby 56 00:02:29,367 --> 00:02:32,933 seated way in the back facing the wall. 57 00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:36,167 That baby needs to hear your speech as well. 58 00:02:36,267 --> 00:02:38,467 All right. Enough with the formalities. 59 00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:42,733 I think we all know what time it is. 60 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,233 Let's hustle! 61 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,367 Are y'all ready? 62 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:56,267 Let's do it! 63 00:02:56,367 --> 00:02:57,800 * 64 00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,067 Hey! 65 00:02:59,167 --> 00:03:02,133 * 66 00:03:02,233 --> 00:03:03,933 Whoo! 67 00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:04,533 - So let's go. - Later! 68 00:03:07,267 --> 00:03:10,133 Hey! Ho! 69 00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,467 Whoo! 70 00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:13,200 - Uh-huh! - Whoo! 71 00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:14,833 - * Next time 72 00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,633 * When they ask you where you're from * 73 00:03:17,733 --> 00:03:19,633 * You gon' say Detroit city 74 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:23,433 * When we get you back on our feet, yeah * 75 00:03:23,533 --> 00:03:25,333 * Yeah 76 00:03:25,433 --> 00:03:26,967 - I'll never forget the day Mr. Duvet 77 00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:30,800 looked at me and said, "Son, you must have 78 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:34,500 a great plan to be a great man." 79 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,233 Happy birthday, Mr. Duvet. 80 00:03:40,767 --> 00:03:42,800 - That was very good. Thank you, Thomas. 81 00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:45,867 Remember to enunciate. 82 00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:47,067 [R&B music playing in the background] 83 00:03:48,133 --> 00:03:51,467 Sam, these mustache jokes are great. 84 00:03:51,567 --> 00:03:53,833 - Well, solid gold, baby. 85 00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:56,500 But they're useless now. Don't worry about me. 86 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:57,500 My speech gonna be just fine, okay? 87 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:01,333 - Sam, take it easy on us this year. 88 00:04:01,433 --> 00:04:02,567 - Oh, you know I won't. 89 00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:03,533 - Yeah, this guy. 90 00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:05,633 - All right now. 91 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,567 - What the-- 92 00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:14,167 There are clowns here? 93 00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:16,833 - That's just Mr. Bones. He's good friends with my dad. 94 00:04:16,933 --> 00:04:19,833 - I've never met a clown before. 95 00:04:19,933 --> 00:04:21,600 You think you could introduce me? 96 00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:25,067 - Tim, does a circus bear shit on a toilet? 97 00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:26,067 - I don't know. 98 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:30,133 * 99 00:04:30,233 --> 00:04:31,167 - Hey, Mr. Bones. 100 00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:32,833 - Oh, hi, Sam. 101 00:04:32,933 --> 00:04:35,533 - Yeah. 102 00:04:35,633 --> 00:04:37,667 Uh, Mr. Bones, I want you to meet my best friend, Tim. 103 00:04:37,767 --> 00:04:38,400 - Hey. 104 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:39,567 Oh. 105 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:43,067 I'm a little scared. 106 00:04:43,133 --> 00:04:44,067 Is it gonna hurt? 107 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:50,200 Uh, where's your joy buzzer? 108 00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:52,633 - I'm not working tonight. 109 00:04:52,733 --> 00:04:55,767 - Uh, you're in costume. 110 00:04:55,867 --> 00:04:59,233 - I just left a job and I have another job right after this. 111 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,533 - Well, if you could just do 112 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,767 a little something for me, Mr. Bones. 113 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:05,800 - I'm not Mr. Bones right now. 114 00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:08,633 My name is Julian and I'm at my friend's birthday party. 115 00:05:08,733 --> 00:05:11,233 Please, respect my privacy. 116 00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:17,367 - Talking about one gag. 117 00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:20,600 - Young man, asking me to perform here 118 00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:25,400 is like asking a mailman to go for a walk on his day off. 119 00:05:28,867 --> 00:05:30,733 Wait. Was that the joke? 120 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:36,500 I guess it's kind of funny. 121 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,067 I bet you drive a funny little car. 122 00:05:39,167 --> 00:05:41,267 - I drive a 2013 Malibu. 123 00:05:41,367 --> 00:05:42,800 - Oh, what the-- 124 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:45,200 You know, I'm not gonna get every joke. 125 00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:49,400 - And when--when I got down to that hospital, 126 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:54,733 they told me the bill had already been paid by Mr. Duvet. 127 00:05:56,633 --> 00:05:58,900 I'm sorry. - That's okay. 128 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,067 Uh, thank you very much, Joy. 129 00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:04,600 You see, this is why microphone placement is so important. 130 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:06,400 When it's just perfect, 131 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,067 you can hear you even through your tears. 132 00:06:09,167 --> 00:06:14,067 Thank you, Joy. 133 00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:15,833 - Molly, what are you doing here? 134 00:06:15,933 --> 00:06:16,667 - Well, officially, I'm checking out 135 00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:18,867 a B&E on Linwood, 136 00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:21,733 but unofficially, your parents invited me 137 00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:23,700 and they sat us next to each other. 138 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,600 Looks like they wish we were back together. 139 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:27,100 Well, they definitely wish 140 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,167 we were back together. 141 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,433 Nothing. 142 00:06:34,533 --> 00:06:36,633 - You're fiddling with your balls. 143 00:06:36,733 --> 00:06:39,433 You do that when you're upset. Now, who did this to you? 144 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:40,600 You know I can have anyone thrown in jail 145 00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,300 whenever I feel like it. 146 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,233 I don't even need a reason. 147 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:45,133 - Oh, don't say stuff like that. 148 00:06:45,233 --> 00:06:48,067 - There was this one guy, innocent as a newborn baby. 149 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:49,800 I cuffed and stuffed him in the back of my car 150 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:52,900 just to see what would happen and I was not disappointed. 151 00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:53,633 - Stop. Stop--stop it. He pissed himself. 152 00:06:53,733 --> 00:06:56,133 - Stop talking. 153 00:06:56,233 --> 00:07:00,133 No one did anything to me. It's just... 154 00:07:00,233 --> 00:07:01,900 I don't have anything for my dad's speech. 155 00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:03,067 - But you crush it every year. 156 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:07,700 - Oh, I know. You don't have to tell me. 157 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,067 - Sam, you're fiddling with your balls. What's wrong? 158 00:07:10,133 --> 00:07:11,900 - He's nervous about his speech. 159 00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:13,100 - Oh, hey, Molly. Oink, oink. 160 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,367 I thought I smelled bacon. I thought this was 161 00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:16,900 a birthday party, not a pig roast. 162 00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:18,067 - Ah, it's so good to see you two. 163 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:20,367 - Yeah, you too. Where's your box of donuts? 164 00:07:20,467 --> 00:07:23,200 - Careful or I'll bust you for that crack in your pocket. 165 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:24,767 - What crack in my pock-- 166 00:07:24,867 --> 00:07:27,467 how in the hell did you do that? 167 00:07:27,567 --> 00:07:28,767 How did you do that? 168 00:07:28,867 --> 00:07:30,767 - Okay, I've got something. 169 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,667 It's a bit of a Hail Mary-- 170 00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:35,600 the ace up my sleeve, if you will. 171 00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,700 I'm going next. Wish me luck. 172 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:42,533 - * You are my sunshine, my only sunshine * 173 00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:43,767 * You make me happy 174 00:07:43,867 --> 00:07:46,167 * When skies are gray 175 00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:48,300 - Shit! - * You'll never know, dear 176 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,500 - You were gonna sing "You Are My Sunshine"? 177 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,133 - Our dad does love that song. 178 00:07:52,233 --> 00:07:55,700 - * Please don't take my sunshine away * 179 00:07:57,900 --> 00:08:01,100 - That was wonderful. Thank you so much. 180 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,433 Now, some of you may remember that song 181 00:08:03,533 --> 00:08:06,767 from the Coen brothers movie, "O Brother Where Art Thou?" 182 00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:09,933 based on Homer's "Odyssey." 183 00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:13,767 Now, if I may quote the great Homer, 184 00:08:13,867 --> 00:08:14,900 let's hustle! 185 00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:26,167 * 186 00:08:38,067 --> 00:08:41,067 - Oh, boy, clown at a buffet. 187 00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:42,400 Here we go. 188 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:46,667 - I mean, that is kind of a lot of rice. 189 00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,067 Is that a joke? 190 00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:49,367 - I'm just hungry. 191 00:08:49,467 --> 00:08:56,333 * 192 00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:01,633 That's the funniest food here! 193 00:09:01,733 --> 00:09:04,200 - There's nothing funny about these pies. 194 00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,700 I worked hard on them. 195 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,167 - Oh, well, I'm sorry, 196 00:09:07,267 --> 00:09:08,600 because by the end of the night, 197 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:11,067 these pies are gonna be flying around the room. 198 00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:13,900 You wasted your time, ma'am. 199 00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:15,833 - Hey, back off my wife, man. 200 00:09:15,933 --> 00:09:18,500 - Hey, back off my husband, man. 201 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,733 - I'm just saying, there is a clown in the room. 202 00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:21,900 These pies are toast. 203 00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:23,233 - Shh. 204 00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:25,067 You see how big he is and how small you are? 205 00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,600 - Come on. - Ho ho ho! 206 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,700 Mr. Bones is gonna these up. 207 00:09:37,067 --> 00:09:38,733 Ha! 208 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,833 Ha ha ha ha ha! 209 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:46,733 Ta-da! 210 00:09:46,833 --> 00:09:47,267 I love you, Uncle Lawrence. 211 00:09:54,567 --> 00:09:57,133 - David, you have a degree in economics. 212 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,467 - Good job, baby. 213 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,367 Beat that, Sam. 214 00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:06,500 - David, you have no external sense of self. 215 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,333 Take off your shirt. 216 00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:10,600 Paste some eyes on your nipples 217 00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:12,300 and a mouth on your belly button. 218 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,267 Then take a giant top hat and put it 219 00:10:13,367 --> 00:10:15,600 over your head and shoulders. 220 00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,133 People love that. 221 00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:18,467 - That's a terrible idea. 222 00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:20,700 Never mind. Don't do it. 223 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,867 - That guy's doing it right now. 224 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,200 - Hey, bud. 225 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:41,867 Your song was super cute. 226 00:10:41,967 --> 00:10:44,333 - Yeah, I know I was cute. That's what I was going for. 227 00:10:46,567 --> 00:10:48,400 - Well, I was just trying to be nice. 228 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,433 - Yeah. 229 00:10:49,533 --> 00:10:52,200 - Why don't you go get me a few drinks? 230 00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:54,567 That bitch waitress won't get me a beer. 231 00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:55,467 - It's probably 'cause you're seven. 232 00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:58,267 - Okay, sunburn. We're done here. 233 00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:00,467 - Oh. 234 00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:03,300 You cover your ears. 235 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,267 Cover your ears. 236 00:11:06,367 --> 00:11:07,333 You know what? 237 00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:11,067 Santa Claus isn't real. 238 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,700 Then who gave me this huge hog? 239 00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:21,467 He asked Santa for a huge hog. 240 00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:26,067 And he gave it to him. 241 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:34,067 * 242 00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:35,067 - * I don't want nobody 243 00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:37,133 - Look at you. 244 00:11:37,233 --> 00:11:42,167 - He's more than just a father, he's a friend. 245 00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:43,633 I love you, Dad. 246 00:11:44,733 --> 00:11:48,067 To the best father 247 00:11:48,133 --> 00:11:50,233 in the whole wide world. 248 00:11:50,333 --> 00:11:51,233 - Yes. 249 00:11:55,233 --> 00:11:56,900 - Well done. Well done. 250 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:03,067 - Uh, uh, do you mind if I say a few words here? 251 00:12:03,167 --> 00:12:06,300 Does everybody remember when Mr. Duvet had a mustache? 252 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:07,867 - Yeah, of course we remember! 253 00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:08,900 - It's fresh in our mind. 254 00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:10,733 - I can hear a couple minutes of that. 255 00:12:10,833 --> 00:12:13,067 - Great, because, um, I'm not saying 256 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,433 Mr. Duvet's mustache was big, 257 00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:17,400 but if you turned him upside down, 258 00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:18,900 he could be a push broom. 259 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,733 And it even looked like a push broom too, 260 00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:24,833 'cause it always had food in it. 261 00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:30,067 I mean, I've heard of a salt and pepper mustache, 262 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:31,900 but Mr. Duvet's mustache 263 00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:35,533 was salt and pepper and pickles and onions. 264 00:12:35,633 --> 00:12:37,900 - Whoo! 265 00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:40,533 - I-I mean, you would see corn in his mustache, 266 00:12:40,633 --> 00:12:43,300 be like, "Wait a minute, we haven't had corn in weeks." 267 00:12:44,467 --> 00:12:46,567 Look at that picture up there. 268 00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:49,300 Is that Mr. Duvet or did Cousin Itt 269 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,833 shave everything but his mustache? 270 00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:54,700 - You are gonna make me throw up. 271 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,267 - Actually, Mr. Duvet doesn't have 272 00:12:57,367 --> 00:12:58,633 the greatest mustache in the world. 273 00:12:58,733 --> 00:13:02,500 He has the second-greatest only to Aunt Lacey! 274 00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:28,433 all: Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! 275 00:13:30,733 --> 00:13:31,733 all: Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! 276 00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:35,433 - That's my husband! That's my husband! 277 00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:41,133 all: Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! 278 00:13:43,633 --> 00:13:48,067 - Oh! Now, ladies and gentlemen, 279 00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:53,733 I would hate to have anybody try to follow that amazing speech. 280 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,200 Therefore... 281 00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:56,833 let's hustle! - Whoo! 282 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:06,467 * 283 00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:07,533 - I can't believe you used all my jokes. 284 00:14:07,633 --> 00:14:10,067 - You threw 'em out. 285 00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:11,733 - That's before I knew they were gonna kill. 286 00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:13,500 - Hey, you talkin' or you doin' The Hustle? 287 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,533 You can't do both. 288 00:14:15,633 --> 00:14:16,833 - Sorry, Grandma. 289 00:14:16,933 --> 00:14:18,167 I honestly have trouble doing both. 290 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,867 - You were great up there. 291 00:14:25,967 --> 00:14:27,067 I couldn't take my eyes off you. 292 00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:29,233 Do you act? 293 00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:30,067 - No. 294 00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:31,767 - You should. 295 00:14:31,867 --> 00:14:33,067 You got the body for it. 296 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:36,400 You are a little gentleman. 297 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,200 - What are you-- 298 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:39,900 hey, pal, why don't you take 299 00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:40,567 your little huge hog out of here? 300 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:46,533 - Jesus. - Tim, he's a kid. 301 00:14:46,633 --> 00:14:48,400 - Uh, Samuel. 302 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:52,133 Let me talk to you. What is wrong? 303 00:14:52,233 --> 00:14:53,667 - I'm worried about my speech for Dad. 304 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,333 - Oh, don't be. 305 00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:59,133 You may not be funny like Tim or thoughtful like your sister, 306 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:04,267 but you are the cutest little ladybug there ever was. 307 00:15:04,367 --> 00:15:06,200 Hmm? 308 00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:07,433 - Mom, have you been drinking wine? 309 00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:09,233 - Oh, please. 310 00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:14,067 Oh, look, there's Molly. God, I love that girl. 311 00:15:14,133 --> 00:15:16,633 - Mr. Duvet, my favorite piece of advice 312 00:15:16,733 --> 00:15:20,600 you ever gave me was to always remain excited for the future. 313 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:23,600 - All units, I've been hit! I need backup-- 314 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:28,400 - Tonight, as we celebrate all that you have been, 315 00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:32,200 remember, we also celebrate all that you will be. 316 00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:34,767 Happy birthday, Mr. Duvet. 317 00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:44,367 Now, that was a nice speech. 318 00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:48,633 Somebody ought to ask her to marry him! 319 00:15:48,733 --> 00:15:51,333 Son, I'm referring to you. 320 00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:54,800 - Mom, I know. Oh, my God. 321 00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:56,833 - Oh, no. 322 00:15:56,933 --> 00:15:58,500 You're gonna do a spit take, right? 323 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,167 What kind of clown are you, man? 324 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:06,167 - Look around, kid. 325 00:16:06,267 --> 00:16:08,633 The only clown in this room is you. 326 00:16:08,733 --> 00:16:15,600 * 327 00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:34,367 - Tim, I'm really freaking out right now. 328 00:16:34,467 --> 00:16:36,100 I mean, I've got nothing. 329 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,367 What am I gonna do? 330 00:16:37,467 --> 00:16:39,100 - Why are you stressed out about this? 331 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,400 You're always so good at things like this. 332 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,067 - I mean, Tim, I could get up there 333 00:16:42,133 --> 00:16:44,767 and I could tell jokes and sing a song 334 00:16:44,867 --> 00:16:47,067 and get hands clapping and panties dropping. 335 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:47,900 - This is a family event. 336 00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:49,233 - That's not what I what I want, 337 00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:51,300 you know? Not tonight. 338 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:55,233 I just want to let my dad know how I feel about him. 339 00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:58,467 You know, let him know that as I grow older, 340 00:16:58,567 --> 00:17:00,933 I see myself becoming more and more like him, 341 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:03,933 and it just lets me know that I'm headed on the right path. 342 00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:09,433 - Samuel, that was perfect. 343 00:17:09,533 --> 00:17:10,800 You projected wonderfully. 344 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:13,067 I could hear you all the way in the back of the bathroom. 345 00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,733 - Thanks, Dad. 346 00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:19,267 - Hey, guys. 347 00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:21,967 Oh, man, who stunk it up in here? 348 00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:23,167 - Well, I had an opportun-- 349 00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:26,167 - I did. 350 00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:28,233 I stunk it up in here. 351 00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:31,333 With a poo. 352 00:17:31,433 --> 00:17:34,067 - Guys, check this out. It stinks. 353 00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:37,633 - Well-- - Ooh, whoa! Whoa! 354 00:17:37,733 --> 00:17:39,267 - Uh, yeah, that's my poop. - Hoo! 355 00:17:39,367 --> 00:17:41,833 - There's still poop in here. 356 00:17:41,933 --> 00:17:43,100 Why didn't you flush? 357 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,700 - He did flush. He flushed five times, 358 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:49,067 but there was so much poop that it got stuck in the pipe. 359 00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:50,400 It's all according to Sam. 360 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:53,300 - Yeah, that's what happened. 361 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:57,333 - Yeah. And I pooped too. 362 00:17:57,433 --> 00:17:59,900 You're also smelling my crap. 363 00:18:00,067 --> 00:18:03,133 - Yeah. Hey, guys. 364 00:18:03,233 --> 00:18:07,067 - * My eyes don't cry no more 365 00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:10,367 * My heart don't ache no more 366 00:18:10,467 --> 00:18:13,367 * Since you walked through my door * 367 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,900 * I don't have to no longer be blue * 368 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,167 - * You'll never know dear 369 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,400 * How much I love you 370 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:24,700 And I do, Dad. 371 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,667 * Please don't take 372 00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:30,500 * I said please don't take--uh 373 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,367 * Please don't take 374 00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:32,900 * I said please don't 375 00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:35,800 * Please don't 376 00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:37,833 - * Take 377 00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:40,133 - * Please don't take 378 00:18:40,233 --> 00:18:42,267 * My sun-- 379 00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:47,933 * Shine away--hey-hey 380 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,233 It's fine. Hard to go second, 381 00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:57,400 so, had the idea first. 382 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,133 - Better than the kid. 383 00:19:01,233 --> 00:19:04,200 - Okay, now, if there are no more speeches-- 384 00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:05,933 Julian. 385 00:19:06,067 --> 00:19:07,900 Did you want to say something? 386 00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:09,433 All right. 387 00:19:09,533 --> 00:19:13,233 - Oh, boy. Here comes Mr. Bones. 388 00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:14,100 Watch this, folks. 389 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,800 - He is not performing tonight. 390 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:21,200 - Shh. - Andrew Carnegie once said, 391 00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:23,600 "As I grow older, 392 00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:27,700 "I pay less attention to what men say. 393 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,733 I just watch what they do." 394 00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:35,600 - Shit. 395 00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:37,367 - Classic! 396 00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,733 He slow-played me, baby! 397 00:19:39,833 --> 00:19:41,800 - No, I don't know, Tim. I think he's really hurt. 398 00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:43,900 - Oh, no, no, that was a clown fall. 399 00:19:47,067 --> 00:19:48,833 Oh. 400 00:19:48,933 --> 00:19:52,733 You brilliant master of the comedic arts. 401 00:19:57,067 --> 00:20:04,033 * 402 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,067 * 403 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,333 - Yes! 404 00:20:11,433 --> 00:20:14,133 In your face, pie lady! 405 00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,067 Oh! 406 00:20:24,333 --> 00:20:25,867 - I should kick your ass. 407 00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:27,933 - Come on. Come on. Come on. Just sit. 408 00:20:28,033 --> 00:20:29,067 Just--come on. 409 00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:33,200 - Just sit. Just sit. Just-- 410 00:20:35,633 --> 00:20:39,267 all: * Happy birthday to you 411 00:20:39,367 --> 00:20:40,933 - Everybody has a birthday. 412 00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,667 all: * Happy birthday to you 413 00:20:42,767 --> 00:20:45,167 - Men, women, boys and girls, 414 00:20:45,267 --> 00:20:46,833 it's a time to reflect on your life. 415 00:20:46,933 --> 00:20:49,967 all: * Happy birthday dear Lawrence * 416 00:20:50,067 --> 00:20:53,267 - The past and future happenings. 417 00:20:53,367 --> 00:20:56,467 all: * Happy birthday to you - I am very happy 418 00:20:56,567 --> 00:21:00,733 because today is my birthday. 419 00:21:00,833 --> 00:21:02,767 Let's hustle! 420 00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:18,367 * 28855

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