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1
00:00:09,067 --> 00:00:10,133
- * Next time
2
00:00:10,133 --> 00:00:11,300
* When they ask you
3
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,867
* Where you're from *
4
00:00:12,867 --> 00:00:14,600
* You gon' say Detroit city *
5
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:18,600
* When we get back on our feet,
yeah *
6
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,200
* Yeah
7
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,467
- * Come on, everybody
8
00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:29,400
- Hey, folks, it's me,
Eddie Champagne,
9
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,067
the hot tub king of Detroit.
10
00:00:31,067 --> 00:00:32,967
It's me, Eddie Champagne,
11
00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:34,767
the hot tub king of Detroit.
12
00:00:34,767 --> 00:00:36,967
Hey, folks, it's me,
Eddie Champagne,
13
00:00:36,967 --> 00:00:38,200
the hot tub king of Detroit.
14
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,600
- You think the water's
too hot?
15
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:40,700
- It'll be fine.
16
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:42,233
- Okay, people.
17
00:00:42,233 --> 00:00:43,800
- All right, let's make
commercial magic.
18
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,933
- Eddie Champagne,
hot tub commercial,
19
00:00:45,933 --> 00:00:48,100
scene ten, take one.
20
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:50,967
- And...action.
21
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,900
- Hey, folks, it's me,
22
00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:54,300
Eddie Champagne,
23
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:55,733
the hot tub king of Detroit.
24
00:00:55,733 --> 00:00:57,400
If you don't like my prices,
25
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,733
I'm gonna be the one
in hot water.
26
00:00:59,733 --> 00:01:01,433
Oh, God!
27
00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:03,967
Oh! Aah!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
28
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,100
- Lea, tell me we got that.
29
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:09,467
- We got it.
- Oh, my God!
30
00:01:09,467 --> 00:01:10,933
It's so hot!
31
00:01:10,933 --> 00:01:12,333
- Oh, Ed, I'm telling ya,
that reaction's
32
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:13,667
gonna sell
a lot of hot tubs.
33
00:01:13,667 --> 00:01:15,333
- Oh, God.
34
00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:16,667
- It's Felipe.
They're at the Chop House.
35
00:01:16,667 --> 00:01:18,067
Just got their steaks.
We got to go.
36
00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:19,833
- That's a wrap!
Great job, everybody!
37
00:01:19,833 --> 00:01:21,133
Eddie, you nailed it!
38
00:01:21,133 --> 00:01:22,133
- Thanks, guys!
39
00:01:22,133 --> 00:01:24,633
*
40
00:01:24,633 --> 00:01:27,500
You guys are the ad kings
of Detroit!
41
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:33,633
*
42
00:01:36,633 --> 00:01:40,600
- * Yeah, I'm talkin' to you *
43
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,833
* Don't just sit there
feeling blue *
44
00:01:44,833 --> 00:01:48,333
* When you feel
there's nothing you can do *
45
00:01:48,333 --> 00:01:50,633
* You just pick yourself
right off the ground *
46
00:01:50,633 --> 00:01:52,600
* Get on up and turn around
47
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,067
* Hey, hey
48
00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,267
- Right over there.
49
00:02:01,267 --> 00:02:02,600
I pay for the coffee.
50
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,200
I pick up the dog,
and I tell the cop
51
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,167
that I'm with animal control,
undercover.
52
00:02:07,167 --> 00:02:08,400
I still have the dog.
53
00:02:11,433 --> 00:02:13,267
Heck yeah, we got a deal.
54
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,567
Carter?
55
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:17,200
Carter Grant,
VP of marketing, Chrysler?
56
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,067
- Uh, yeah.
Have we met?
57
00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:20,833
- We're about to.
Sam Duvet.
58
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,667
- Uh, hi, Sam.
59
00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:25,533
- Tim Cramblin,
Cramblin Advertising.
60
00:02:25,533 --> 00:02:26,533
- Hello, Tim.
61
00:02:28,067 --> 00:02:29,533
Are you Hank Cramblin's son?
62
00:02:29,533 --> 00:02:30,567
- That I am, yeah.
- Oh.
63
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,333
- You know
Sally Pomerantz?
64
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:33,833
Head of creative
for Pomerantz and Klein.
65
00:02:33,833 --> 00:02:35,833
- Hank Cramblin,
what a legend.
66
00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:37,200
How is your father?
67
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,500
- He went insane.
He lives in a nuthouse now.
68
00:02:40,567 --> 00:02:41,667
- Oh.
69
00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:43,167
Well, the next time
you see him,
70
00:02:43,167 --> 00:02:45,267
you tell him Sally Pomerantz
from Chicago said hello.
71
00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:46,733
- He won't understand that.
72
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,633
Talking to him is like
talking to Bugs Bunny.
73
00:02:50,267 --> 00:02:52,067
- Well, then you tell him,
"What's up, Doc?"
74
00:02:52,067 --> 00:02:53,100
- Thank you.
75
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,933
That'll mean a lot to him.
76
00:02:54,933 --> 00:02:56,700
- Sally Pomerantz.
77
00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:58,667
Just as lovely
78
00:02:58,667 --> 00:03:00,767
as I'd always imagined.
79
00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,467
I mean,
wrong color but...
80
00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:03,633
just as lovely.
81
00:03:03,633 --> 00:03:05,100
- Yeah, he imagines
everyone black.
82
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,333
- I suppose it's because
I'm black.
83
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:07,667
- Oh, that could be.
- Could be.
84
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:09,133
- That could...
- Could...
85
00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:10,300
both: Be.
86
00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:11,667
- Carter, we are
on our way out
87
00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:12,800
because we already
ate here.
88
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:13,900
Look at these stains
on our ties.
89
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:15,267
- Look at the receipt.
90
00:03:15,267 --> 00:03:16,833
- I'm guessing
all the agencies are in town
91
00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:19,067
because you're hearing pitches
for your new campaign.
92
00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:20,167
Well, Cramblin would love
93
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,800
to throw our hat in the ring
on that.
94
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,900
- Oh.
95
00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:25,400
Well, have I seen your work?
96
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:26,567
- Oh, you sure have.
97
00:03:26,567 --> 00:03:28,433
Delta Airlines,
Budweiser--
98
00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:30,633
- No, no, no.
Not your father's.
99
00:03:30,633 --> 00:03:32,767
Yours.
100
00:03:32,767 --> 00:03:34,333
- Oh, uh...
101
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:36,767
- How about Smith's
baby and teen kid furniture?
102
00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:38,567
Harry Dean, the DUI lawyer?
103
00:03:38,567 --> 00:03:40,567
Frank Franklin Insurance?
104
00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:42,467
- Oh, I've seen that one.
105
00:03:42,467 --> 00:03:47,400
* 313-555-0197
106
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,667
Frank Franklin.
107
00:03:48,667 --> 00:03:49,767
- That's so us.
- That's us!
108
00:03:49,767 --> 00:03:51,133
- No, it's, uh--
109
00:03:51,133 --> 00:03:52,767
that's a very catchy tune,
yeah.
110
00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,433
But, you know, I'm just not sure
that your firm
111
00:03:54,433 --> 00:03:56,100
is what we're looking for
right now, gentlemen.
112
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,933
- Oh, sure, 'cause you're
probably gonna go
113
00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,567
with these fine folks
from Chicago
114
00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:01,467
'cause that's where
you make your cars.
115
00:04:01,467 --> 00:04:02,833
Wait a minute.
No, you don't.
116
00:04:02,833 --> 00:04:04,233
Where do they make
their cars, Sam?
117
00:04:04,233 --> 00:04:06,067
- Right here in Detroit.
118
00:04:06,067 --> 00:04:07,200
- Come on, Carter.
119
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,633
- You make your cars here.
120
00:04:08,633 --> 00:04:11,067
Make your ads here.
121
00:04:14,533 --> 00:04:16,833
Fellas, it took a lot of balls
coming in here like this.
122
00:04:16,833 --> 00:04:17,833
- Well, we were already
eating here, so...
123
00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:19,300
- Receipt, so...
124
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,833
- Right, the receipt, yeah.
125
00:04:20,833 --> 00:04:23,467
Um...
126
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:24,900
tell you what.
127
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:26,700
Why don't you come by
tomorrow?
128
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,133
Hmm? 8:00.
129
00:04:28,133 --> 00:04:29,633
I can't at 8:00.
I just can't.
130
00:04:29,633 --> 00:04:31,067
I have dinner with my wife,
and I can't cancel.
131
00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:32,233
- Oh, no, I meant a.m.
132
00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:34,067
- a.m., yeah.
Makes way more sense.
133
00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:35,067
- Yeah.
- A little early.
134
00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:37,500
See you in the morning.
Thank you.
135
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,733
- Okay.
136
00:04:38,733 --> 00:04:40,133
- Gentlemen.
137
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:41,500
Mrs. Pomerantz.
138
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,800
- Ms.
139
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,500
- Oh.
140
00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:47,667
- Ooh!
141
00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:49,667
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
142
00:04:49,667 --> 00:04:51,133
Hoo!
143
00:04:51,133 --> 00:04:52,400
Got a lot of work to do.
144
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:54,900
- Oh, no, there he goes.
145
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,533
- Oh, I was so scared
in there.
146
00:04:56,533 --> 00:04:58,067
- I know you were.
You were great, though.
147
00:04:58,067 --> 00:04:59,467
You honestly were great.
148
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:00,567
Thanks, buddy.
You were great too.
149
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:01,567
- No, it's not 'cause--
150
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:02,800
The food is good.
151
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,100
- Yeah.
Leave room for desser--
152
00:05:05,567 --> 00:05:06,633
- Shh. Let it go.
153
00:05:06,633 --> 00:05:07,900
I'm right here, bud.
154
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:09,067
I'm right here, buddy.
155
00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:14,067
- Okay, Chrysler.
156
00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:16,267
Chrysler.
157
00:05:16,267 --> 00:05:20,367
- You'll love the visor
in your brand-new Chrysler.
158
00:05:20,367 --> 00:05:22,600
- If I don't get a Chrysler,
159
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,500
I'm gonna cry, sir.
160
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,167
- Jesus Chrysler!
161
00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:27,533
What a car!
162
00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:30,133
- I'm taking off for the day,
163
00:05:30,133 --> 00:05:32,667
unless there's anything
you need,
164
00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:35,533
anything at all, Big Hank.
165
00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:39,467
- Ms. Portnadi,
Hank was my father.
166
00:05:39,467 --> 00:05:40,600
I'm Tim, remember?
167
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,333
- Whoops.
168
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:46,067
I dropped my pencil.
169
00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:54,800
*
170
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,300
Can I just leave it there?
171
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,067
- Yes, please.
- For the love of God, do.
172
00:06:01,067 --> 00:06:02,533
- Yes.
- Night, Sheila.
173
00:06:02,533 --> 00:06:04,333
- Okay, Chrysler.
Chrysler.
174
00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:06,167
- You guys ready to edit
the hot tub commercial?
175
00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:07,700
- Lea, that's small potatoes.
176
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,367
We're working
on a big old potato.
177
00:06:10,367 --> 00:06:12,067
You can go ahead
and do it yourself.
178
00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:14,400
- Lea, you're in film school.
179
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,667
I think you can edit
180
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:16,933
a hot tub commercial
by yourself.
181
00:06:16,933 --> 00:06:19,100
- Thanks, guys.
182
00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:21,067
I will not let you down.
183
00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:22,267
- Uh...
184
00:06:22,267 --> 00:06:23,867
all right, let's stop
screwing around.
185
00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:25,400
It's 12 hours till the pitch.
186
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,833
Be nicer.
Drive a Chrysler.
187
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:30,900
You suck.
- No, you suck.
188
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:32,100
- You got nothing.
189
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,200
You got nothing.
- I--everything.
190
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,200
- You got nothing.
191
00:06:37,233 --> 00:06:40,933
*
192
00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:42,167
!
193
00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:44,333
*
194
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:46,067
- Foul!
- That's on me!
195
00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:47,667
- * You're maybe thinking *
196
00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:49,233
* About being the better man
197
00:06:49,233 --> 00:06:50,933
- Foul!
- * But you're still young *
198
00:06:50,933 --> 00:06:53,067
* You don't want
to take that step *
199
00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:54,567
* You can't run, you can't lie,
you can't hide *
200
00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:57,067
- Oh, travel!
Oh, travel!
201
00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:01,667
- Whoa!
- Whoa.
202
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,500
- I can't believe that didn't
break the window.
203
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:04,933
- I know.
204
00:07:04,933 --> 00:07:06,267
It's almost like
it's unbreakable.
205
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:11,600
- Stapler.
- Stapler.
206
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,100
- Oh!
- Oh! Oh!
207
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,567
- Oh, my God!
208
00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:17,633
Oh, man!
209
00:07:17,633 --> 00:07:19,333
- Ninja throw!
210
00:07:20,633 --> 00:07:21,833
- Wow, didn't even.
211
00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:23,567
It didn't even.
212
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:25,833
both:
Coffeepot! Coffeepot!
213
00:07:25,833 --> 00:07:27,233
Coffeepot!
214
00:07:27,233 --> 00:07:28,833
- Go!
215
00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:30,800
- Oh!
- Yes!
216
00:07:32,767 --> 00:07:34,067
*
217
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:38,100
*
218
00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:42,833
Candleholder!
219
00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:43,933
- Candleholder!
220
00:07:43,933 --> 00:07:45,067
- Candleholder.
- Candleholder!
221
00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:46,300
- Candleholder.
- Candleholder!
222
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:47,400
- Candleholder.
223
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,500
both: Oh!
224
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:52,700
- Oh!
225
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,233
- So it did break.
226
00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:57,833
- It didn't break.
It shattered.
227
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:04,700
*
228
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,167
One...
229
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:07,367
both: Two...
230
00:08:07,367 --> 00:08:09,200
*
231
00:08:16,467 --> 00:08:18,400
- Whoa.
232
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,733
Oh!
233
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:23,233
Old diet pills.
234
00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:24,500
These things
were basically speed.
235
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:25,800
- Huh.
236
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,067
- Expired January 1974.
237
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:30,867
- You think it's safe
to take some of those?
238
00:08:30,867 --> 00:08:32,333
- I don't know.
239
00:08:34,633 --> 00:08:36,900
Open on dad driving
through the rain
240
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:39,300
in a brand-new
Chrysler 300.
241
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:41,467
- Across town, his daughter
walks into a tattoo parlor.
242
00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:44,167
- Hands a pile of cash
to the man at the counter.
243
00:08:44,167 --> 00:08:46,333
- Biker-type dude,
like, a real mean guy,
244
00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:47,467
like, a neo-Nazi.
245
00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:48,667
- Yeah, she points
to the sign
246
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:51,167
that says "Nipple Piercing,"
247
00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:54,233
takes off her shirt,
pulls down her bra.
248
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:56,633
We see everything.
249
00:08:56,633 --> 00:08:58,067
- Yes.
250
00:08:58,067 --> 00:08:59,067
- Cut to...
251
00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:00,467
- Dad races across town.
252
00:09:00,467 --> 00:09:01,567
- Close-up.
253
00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:03,300
- Biker's meaty, hairy hand
254
00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:04,533
grabs the daughter's nipple.
255
00:09:04,533 --> 00:09:06,200
- Pulls it out
as far as it'll go.
256
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,300
- Oh, it's farther
than you think.
257
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:08,800
- Yeah, it's way farther, man.
258
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,233
- Biker pierces the nipple.
Daughter moans.
259
00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:13,933
Drop of red blood rolls down
her milky black breast.
260
00:09:13,933 --> 00:09:15,433
- No, milky white breast.
- I pictured black.
261
00:09:15,433 --> 00:09:17,233
- Keep going.
- In the reflection,
262
00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:19,200
the drop of blood rolling down
the daughter's breast,
263
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,233
we see the father
standing in the window.
264
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:22,733
- He sighs.
265
00:09:22,733 --> 00:09:24,800
He smiles.
266
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,533
Says, "My baby's
all growed up.
267
00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:28,867
Got to let her fly."
268
00:09:28,867 --> 00:09:30,533
- Chrysler.
269
00:09:30,533 --> 00:09:33,067
Time to fly.
270
00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:35,067
Yes.
- Yes.
271
00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:37,900
Yes.
- Yes!
272
00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:39,233
Yes!
273
00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,967
- You know, the more
I think about it,
274
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:46,267
I don't think we can show
a boob in a commercial.
275
00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:48,067
- No. No, we can't.
276
00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:49,467
They wouldn't let us air
277
00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:51,067
that nursing home commercial
with a boob in it.
278
00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:52,433
And that was just
an accident.
279
00:09:52,433 --> 00:09:54,600
Two more beers.
280
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,300
- You got it.
281
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:57,733
Two beers.
282
00:09:57,733 --> 00:09:58,900
Hot or cold?
283
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:00,033
- Well, cold.
284
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,300
- Come on, man.
285
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,967
*
286
00:10:06,967 --> 00:10:08,633
- Oh, it's time
for Eddie's commercial.
287
00:10:08,633 --> 00:10:10,100
Uh, Judy, can you
turn on the TV?
288
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,833
- Sure.
289
00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:18,433
- And that's one murder that...
had a happy ending.
290
00:10:18,433 --> 00:10:22,400
We'll be right back with sports
and weather after this.
291
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,967
- Hi, folks, it's me,
Eddie Champagne,
292
00:10:24,967 --> 00:10:26,633
the hot tub king of Detroit.
293
00:10:26,633 --> 00:10:28,033
The hot tub king of--
294
00:10:28,033 --> 00:10:31,233
The hot tub king of Detroit.
295
00:10:31,233 --> 00:10:33,433
- Oh...no.
296
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:36,300
- And all the king's horses
and all the king's men
297
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:38,733
couldn't put Eddie
together again.
298
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,133
- Oh!
299
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:43,633
- Did he just eat that
off the ground?
300
00:10:43,633 --> 00:10:45,533
Ew!
301
00:10:45,533 --> 00:10:47,967
This is not the commercial.
302
00:10:47,967 --> 00:10:51,633
- My God, you're beautiful.
303
00:10:51,633 --> 00:10:53,867
You really knock me out,
you know that?
304
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,400
You wouldn't want to...
305
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,767
ever kiss a guy like me,
would you?
306
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:04,933
No.
Probably got a boyfriend.
307
00:11:04,933 --> 00:11:08,533
He's young and...virile.
308
00:11:08,533 --> 00:11:10,467
I must disgust you.
309
00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:13,167
*
310
00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:15,467
Wish I would have met you
when I was 18.
311
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:17,667
*
312
00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:19,467
I was amazing then.
313
00:11:19,467 --> 00:11:24,367
- Eddie Champagne,
the hot tub king of Detroit.
314
00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:27,467
*
315
00:11:29,267 --> 00:11:30,367
- Wow.
316
00:11:30,367 --> 00:11:31,433
Normally I don't comment
317
00:11:31,433 --> 00:11:32,700
on the commercials,
318
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,333
but that was very bad.
319
00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:36,667
- Oh, we're in trouble.
320
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,800
- Looks like rain
is headed our way, but...
321
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:39,867
- Let's get out of here.
322
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,300
Thank you, Judy.
- Thanks, Judy.
323
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,067
- You want a doggie bag
for your beers?
324
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:45,667
- That's a dumb idea.
325
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:51,167
*
326
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:52,633
We're dead.
327
00:11:52,633 --> 00:11:54,067
Eddie's gonna kill us,
328
00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:56,333
and we have got nothing
on this Chrysler pitch.
329
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:57,700
- We'll come up
with something.
330
00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,467
- No, we won't, man.
We're dumb.
331
00:11:59,467 --> 00:12:00,867
- Hey.
332
00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:03,067
Hey.
333
00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:05,433
You remember when we first
took over your dad's company
334
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,400
and everybody quit
and all the clients left
335
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,600
all in the same day?
336
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,900
- Yeah, of course
I remember.
337
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,567
- Well, you remember,
like, a year later,
338
00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:14,167
we got our first client?
339
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,100
- Sure, Stan
from the carpet store.
340
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:17,667
- Yeah, what'd he want
to call himself?
341
00:12:18,867 --> 00:12:20,767
- What'd he want
to call himself?
342
00:12:20,767 --> 00:12:22,667
- Big Stan the Carpet Guy.
343
00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:25,933
- Big Stan the Carpet Man.
344
00:12:27,567 --> 00:12:29,067
- 'Cause it rhymed.
345
00:12:29,067 --> 00:12:30,233
- 'Cause it rhymed.
346
00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:31,433
- Yes.
347
00:12:31,433 --> 00:12:33,600
We did it then.
348
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:34,700
We'll do it...
349
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:36,067
- Now.
- Again, buddy.
350
00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:37,433
It's--'cause it rhymes
with "then."
351
00:12:37,433 --> 00:12:38,567
- It's got to rhyme
for it to work.
352
00:12:38,567 --> 00:12:40,067
- That's the whole point of it.
353
00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:41,500
Oh, here come the trucks!
- Here we go!
354
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:43,767
Here come the big rigs!
355
00:12:43,767 --> 00:12:47,067
- Here we go, Big Steve.
- Go get 'em, pal!
356
00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:50,333
- Whoo! Thataway, Clint!
357
00:12:50,333 --> 00:12:51,767
- You the man, Steve!
358
00:12:51,767 --> 00:12:52,767
Oh, happy birthday!
359
00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:55,233
Big Lou!
360
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,733
- Lou!
361
00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:59,100
- Oh, and Wolf Man.
- Oh, Wolf Man!
362
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,267
- Yeah, I know
it's a long shot,
363
00:13:03,267 --> 00:13:05,100
but I really want to nail
this Chrysler pitch.
364
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:06,333
- I know.
We will, pal.
365
00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:07,833
- Yeah, not just for us.
366
00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:09,633
For everyone,
for the whole city.
367
00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:11,833
Go, Kathy.
368
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:15,233
- Norman Drummond!
369
00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:16,667
- I mean, Chrysler
isn't just a company.
370
00:13:16,667 --> 00:13:18,167
It's--it's these guys.
371
00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:20,300
It's our friends.
It's our family.
372
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,600
- Yeah, every Chrysler
373
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,933
is the city of Detroit
on four wheels.
374
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,067
*
375
00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:29,333
That's it.
376
00:13:29,333 --> 00:13:30,800
- That's the pitch.
377
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,167
- That's the pitch.
We got the pitch.
378
00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:34,767
- We got the pitch, buddy.
- We got the pitch!
379
00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:36,633
- We got the pitch!
- We got the pitch!
380
00:13:36,633 --> 00:13:38,567
- We got the pitch!
381
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,300
- And that's why
every Chrysler
382
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,100
is like the city of Detroit
on four wheels.
383
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,433
- On four wheels.
- On four wheels.
384
00:13:48,433 --> 00:13:49,467
- Yes.
- Gentlemen.
385
00:13:49,467 --> 00:13:51,267
Your morning hot dogs
arrived.
386
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:52,433
- Thank you, Sheila.
387
00:13:52,433 --> 00:13:54,300
- Knock 'em dead,
Big Hank.
388
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,933
- I don't...
389
00:13:56,933 --> 00:13:58,067
*
390
00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:00,233
Well, there she is.
391
00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:02,067
- As I live and breathe.
392
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,667
- Hey, did you guys
like the commercial?
393
00:14:03,667 --> 00:14:05,533
- No!
- No, Lea, you tanked it.
394
00:14:05,533 --> 00:14:07,833
- You shit the bed.
- Absolutely blew it.
395
00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:09,400
- You blew it!
- And it sucked!
396
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:16,333
*
397
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,200
- Here we go.
398
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,667
You ready?
399
00:14:24,667 --> 00:14:26,400
- Sure am.
400
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,500
We did it, pal.
401
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,267
- We sure did.
402
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:31,067
- I paid for the coffee,
I picked up the dog,
403
00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:33,833
and I told the cop I was
with animal control, undercover.
404
00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:35,500
Oh!
405
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:47,600
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
406
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,400
Let's get the hell out of here.
- Uh-uh.
407
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:50,833
Let's dump his body
in the woods
408
00:14:50,833 --> 00:14:52,067
and walk in there
like nothing happened.
409
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:54,500
- What if he wakes up
and sees us?
410
00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:03,167
*
411
00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:04,800
- Leave the bag out.
- Yeah.
412
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,267
It'll just be like
a piece of bag out there.
413
00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:07,633
Nobody's gonna
ask anything.
414
00:15:07,633 --> 00:15:08,633
- No, I know.
415
00:15:08,633 --> 00:15:09,633
- He's not answering.
416
00:15:09,633 --> 00:15:11,067
I'm so sorry.
417
00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:12,833
He has never missed a meeting
like this.
418
00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:14,100
- It's fine.
419
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:16,600
Just very unprofessional.
420
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,100
- Let me call his cell phone.
421
00:15:19,567 --> 00:15:21,200
What are you gonna call it?
422
00:15:23,333 --> 00:15:24,400
What?
423
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,567
- You have to do stand-up.
424
00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:29,100
- I will, I promise.
425
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,267
- That's weird.
426
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:31,667
Someone's coming
out of the woods
427
00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:34,067
with a bag of chips
on their head.
428
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,100
- You know, that is weird.
429
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:40,167
- That's Carter Grant!
- Oh, my God!
430
00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:45,667
- Call 911!
- Hold his head! Hold his head!
431
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:46,667
- Over there!
432
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,100
- I still have that dog.
433
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,733
- Oh!
434
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,800
- Hey, Carter.
435
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,233
- Hey.
- Hey!
436
00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:56,400
Remember us?
437
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:57,733
Like, when's the last time
438
00:15:57,733 --> 00:15:59,900
you remember seeing us?
439
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,800
- At--at the steak house.
440
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,867
- Yes, because that's
the last place we saw you.
441
00:16:04,867 --> 00:16:06,333
- Great.
- We--we just--
442
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:07,700
we brought you these.
443
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:08,833
- Oh. Thank you.
444
00:16:08,833 --> 00:16:10,067
- We just want to say...
- Yeah.
445
00:16:10,067 --> 00:16:12,067
- You know, get well.
446
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,133
Feel better.
- Thanks.
447
00:16:13,133 --> 00:16:14,733
- And, uh, also, you know,
448
00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:16,467
we've got a great pitch
for you,
449
00:16:16,467 --> 00:16:18,133
when you're ready
to hear it.
450
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:20,067
- Ah.
451
00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:21,967
I'm sorry, guys.
452
00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:23,733
I really appreciate you
coming down here,
453
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:26,867
but, um, we ended up going
with Pomerantz and Klein.
454
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,633
Why didn't you wait
until you heard our pitch?
455
00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:32,500
- Honestly, I only
scheduled that meeting
456
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,667
out of respect
for your father.
457
00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:37,067
- Well, we'd still love
for you to hear the pitch.
458
00:16:37,067 --> 00:16:39,533
Who knows?
You may reconsider.
459
00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:41,300
- Well, fellas,
with all due respect,
460
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,867
you do late-night commercials
for furniture stores.
461
00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:46,067
Don't you think Chrysler's
a little bit out of your league?
462
00:16:46,067 --> 00:16:49,067
You know?
463
00:16:51,233 --> 00:16:52,467
Out of our league?
464
00:16:52,467 --> 00:16:54,067
- Oh, man!
465
00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:56,667
- Now you're definitely
gonna hear the pitch.
466
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,067
- No, I'm not.
467
00:16:58,067 --> 00:16:59,633
- Yes, you are
gonna hear the pitch.
468
00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:01,100
We worked the pitch,
and you're gonna hear it.
469
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,133
- You're not gonna pitch to me
in a hospital!
470
00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:03,233
- Uh-huh.
- Open on...
471
00:17:03,233 --> 00:17:04,867
both: Joe Louis' fist.
472
00:17:04,867 --> 00:17:06,433
- Mm-mm. No, no, no, no, no.
- We see an auto worker
473
00:17:06,433 --> 00:17:08,633
driving through town,
looking at the sights he knows.
474
00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:10,133
- The people, the places.
475
00:17:10,133 --> 00:17:11,967
- His friends, his dad.
- I'm not listening.
476
00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:13,733
Mm-mm.
477
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,233
He's not listening.
He doesn't want to hear it.
478
00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:16,367
Very well, I'm pulling the plug
on your ass.
479
00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:17,533
- Do it! Kill him!
- Wait!
480
00:17:17,533 --> 00:17:18,767
- Say good night, pal!
- Bye!
481
00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:20,367
- I'm not on life support,
you idiot!
482
00:17:20,367 --> 00:17:22,067
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
483
00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:23,767
I'm sorry, okay?
484
00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:25,233
Let's just all calm down here
a little bit, okay?
485
00:17:25,233 --> 00:17:26,767
- I'm sorry.
- Okay, we're all sorry.
486
00:17:26,767 --> 00:17:28,267
Best of luck, guys.
487
00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:29,633
It's nothing personal.
It's just business.
488
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:30,633
- It's just business.
- We understand.
489
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,067
Just business.
490
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:33,067
- And this is the business
we're in.
491
00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:34,467
- Yes. For sure.
- Yes.
492
00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:35,733
- Every Chrysler
is like the city of Detroit
493
00:17:35,733 --> 00:17:36,700
on four wheels.
- Come on, man.
494
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:43,700
- And this is the top, top
495
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:45,567
of the bottom line.
496
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:46,733
- Now, this one--
497
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,100
this one's a three-seater.
498
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,233
It's not virgin plastic,
499
00:17:49,233 --> 00:17:50,433
so it's made from other stuff.
500
00:17:50,433 --> 00:17:52,500
This could be a bottle--
501
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:55,333
Can you excuse me
for one second?
502
00:17:55,333 --> 00:17:58,067
- Eddie, we are so sorry.
503
00:17:58,067 --> 00:18:01,067
- Boys, I got to tell you,
when that commercial aired,
504
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:03,133
wife and I went at it
pretty bad.
505
00:18:03,133 --> 00:18:04,900
I mean, I had
my bags packed.
506
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:06,133
I was out the door.
507
00:18:06,133 --> 00:18:08,233
And we decided, "You know,
508
00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:11,067
let's just make love
one last time."
509
00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:12,733
For the first time ever,
510
00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:15,433
we tried woman on top.
511
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,233
It was amazing.
512
00:18:19,233 --> 00:18:20,967
Then we tried it again,
513
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,833
woman on top.
514
00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:25,100
Wasn't a fluke.
515
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:27,167
I was able to last longer.
516
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:29,833
It was like
I was able to stall
517
00:18:29,833 --> 00:18:31,433
while she got what she needed.
518
00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:33,900
And then, when she was done,
519
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:36,600
I flipped her over,
and I went real fast,
520
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,067
so I got what I needed.
521
00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:39,333
- That's great, Eddie.
522
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:40,967
- Very cool,
very cool.
523
00:18:40,967 --> 00:18:44,333
- Spent the rest of the night
in the hot tub,
524
00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:45,667
just laughing and talking.
525
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,833
I found out her favorite show
is "Scandal."
526
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:49,600
I didn't know that.
527
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:50,967
I love "Scandal."
528
00:18:50,967 --> 00:18:52,167
- Oh!
529
00:18:52,167 --> 00:18:54,800
- That night, I remembered
530
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,167
I was married
to my best friend.
531
00:18:57,167 --> 00:18:59,100
- We thought
you were gonna be mad.
532
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,067
Your commercial
saved my marriage.
533
00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:08,067
- Great.
- Thanks, guys.
534
00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:10,067
- * I'd stare the devil down
for you *
535
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:13,233
* Never make another sound
unless you want me to *
536
00:19:13,233 --> 00:19:15,067
* I'd turn my world around
for you *
537
00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:17,733
* Just to hold you so gently
538
00:19:17,733 --> 00:19:20,233
* I'd bite back
every frown for you *
539
00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:22,800
* Play the fool in front
of all the town for you *
540
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,067
* Rob a rightful king
of his crown *
541
00:19:25,067 --> 00:19:27,800
* And gladly pay the penalty
542
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,167
- * What I'd do for you *
543
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:31,367
- Hey, babe.
544
00:19:31,367 --> 00:19:32,733
- Hey, hon.
545
00:19:32,733 --> 00:19:34,533
How was your day?
546
00:19:34,533 --> 00:19:36,133
- You won't even believe
what happened.
547
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,133
A truck axle fell
on the assembly line
548
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,067
and pinned Fred
to the ground.
549
00:19:41,633 --> 00:19:42,967
- Well, you know Tony.
- Yeah.
550
00:19:42,967 --> 00:19:44,300
- He just ran around
551
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:45,900
like a chicken
with his dick cut off.
552
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:47,467
- Classic Tony.
553
00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:49,333
- I had to lift
the dang thing up myself
554
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:52,700
so little Joey could come
drag him out from under it.
555
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:55,400
- You wore your hernia belt,
right?
556
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,067
- You worry too much.
557
00:19:57,067 --> 00:19:59,067
- I worry about you.
558
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,033
- Baby.
559
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,867
You coming upstairs?
560
00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:05,000
- I sure am.
561
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,233
- * They can just
wait in line *
562
00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:09,967
- * What I'd do for you *
563
00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:13,067
- * I'd pay the price,
the sacrifice *
564
00:20:13,067 --> 00:20:15,133
- * Just to see it through
565
00:20:15,133 --> 00:20:18,300
- * Stand through all
the storm and strife *
566
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,067
- * What I'd do for you *
567
00:20:20,067 --> 00:20:21,867
- * Every day, I'd yell *
568
00:20:21,867 --> 00:20:24,067
- Sam!
569
00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:25,567
Sam!
570
00:20:25,567 --> 00:20:26,667
- * You can put me
through hell *
571
00:20:26,667 --> 00:20:28,867
- Sammy!
572
00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:33,033
- Just wanted to say
great work today, pal.
573
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:35,000
- Thanks.
You too, buddy.
574
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,733
- You talking
to my brother?
575
00:20:36,733 --> 00:20:38,367
- Mm-hmm.
576
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:41,033
- How's flipping that house
going, you idiot?
577
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,233
- You're the idiot,
Chrissy.
578
00:20:42,233 --> 00:20:44,033
I bought this house
for $20,000.
579
00:20:44,033 --> 00:20:45,900
And it's a lot harder
than I thought.
580
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:47,133
- Sorry-ass.
581
00:20:47,133 --> 00:20:48,133
- Man, shut up, dummy.
582
00:20:50,133 --> 00:20:52,033
- Good night.
- Night, buddy.
583
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:53,933
- I love you.
- Love you too.
584
00:21:00,767 --> 00:21:02,067
Who even cares?
585
00:21:02,067 --> 00:21:03,933
- * What I'd do for you *
586
00:21:03,933 --> 00:21:06,200
- * I'd do anything for you *
587
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:07,367
- * Yes, I will, darling
588
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,767
* Just to see it through
589
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,900
- * Stand through the storm
590
00:21:13,633 --> 00:21:14,700
- Candleholder!
- Candleholder.
591
00:21:14,700 --> 00:21:15,733
Candleholder.
592
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:20,200
both: Oh!
593
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,333
- Candleholder.
- Oh.
594
00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:23,633
So it does break.
595
00:21:25,067 --> 00:21:26,067
- So it does break.
596
00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:27,067
- So it does break,
turns out.
39331
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