Original subtitles

It's the final hours of Moonight Madness

at Value City with mind-blowing savings

in every department. Featuring famous

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they're only $2.99. $120,000 close-up. A

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Not $25, ONLY $14.99. HURRY IN while

quantities last. TIME'S RUNNING OUT. THE

FINAL HOURS OF THE MOONLIGHT MADNESS

SALE AT ALL VALUE CITY DEPARTMENT

STORES.

ATTENTION. Attention forever units. If

you've been scanning the area this week

trying to calculate what store has the

Nintendo Action set at a great price,

don't delay. Proceed directly to

Children's Palace where right now you

can obtain the Nintendo action set for

just $99.99. The two controllers or

Zapper light gun let your offspring play

the two arcade quality games included

all at an extraordinary children's

palace price. So proceed to Children's

Palace and discover how much less toys

can cost. Thank you.

>> Will the owner of a red sunfaded

corroded convertible? Please move your

car to another state.

Over half a million people face empty

cupboards every single month. Won't you

please join us in the fight against

hunger by sending a donation to TV5's

food for friends?

>> Harve, you're going to prove that

Pillsbury already pie crust isn't as

good as my scratch crust.

>> I am.

>> Which is which?

>> Already pie crust. Just unfold and fill.

>> It looks, tastes, and flakes so much

like scratch.

It's hard to tell the difference.

>> After one, you're in big trouble, Harve.

I am major trouble.

>> Already pie crust.

>> When we made Hines's homestyle gravy, we

used a homemade recipe like yours.

>> Oh, really?

>> Real beef. Beef juices just like yours.

>> Oh, yeah. But where are the lumps? Oh,

no.

>> Hines homestyle gravy. So close to

homemade.

Fluffy jerky treats. Jerky treats. Jerky

treats.

>> It's the real meat in jerky treat strips

dogs go jerky for.

>> Wipe your feet.

>> Heck of a hot tub, huh? Heather,

>> you need the lesser man.

>> How's it looking there? Like the Dead

Sea.

>> You're in hot water, pal.

You should have used Listman.

>> List. That's right. Piranha Breath. List

has long-lasting breath protection plus

fluoride to strengthen teeth. Thanks,

guys. Do I have time for a dip?

>> List making your mouth a cleaner place.

This holiday message is brought to you

by May Tag,

the dependability people.

It's magic.

It's magic.

Oh

god.

HO HO HO. RISE AND shine elves.

Rise and shine elves. Pop from your elf

and beds. Get in your elf and threads.

Shake the cobwebs from your brains and

cap your elf and heads.

>> Right. and shin he says from our

elephant beds. Get into our green

threads and cap our elephant heads.

Jingle bells, elf bells, jingle all the

way. Making toys for Santa Claus is

never worth it.

>> Yeah.

I, Dr. Claw, will ruin Christmas myself

and the world blames Santa Claus.

>> Another day for our pay. Play is work

and work is play. your work for me

today.

>> Jingle bells, bells.

>> What's this? What happened to my happy

little

>> Get me down, somebody.

What's going on?

And who will finish my cause?

>> Once the children of the world get my

special toys, Santa's name will be

slash. His reputation will be ruined.

>> Get to work, drones.

>> Yes, Dr.

is

only one person can stop me now and my

mad agents will stop him first.

It's a gadget.

Gadget.

Inspect. Gadget.

Inspect. Gadget.

Inspect

the gadget. Oh,

inspector gadget.

And I'd like five cases of oil, 159

micro pulleys, a new real estat, three

new trench coats in winter colors.

>> Come on, Uncle Gadget. The mall's going

to close.

>> And here on page 47, I've listed the

optional items.

>> Gadget, it's me.

>> Of course it's you, Santa. And I've

always believed in you. Gadget, it's me.

No question about it, Santa.

>> Excuse me, Santa. It's the top secret

gadget phone. Duty calls.

>> Inspector Gadget here.

>> Do you know who this is,

>> Chief? I'm right next to you.

>> You're where?

>> Right here in the Santa suit.

>> No need for a phone, Chief. I'm right

here.

>> I know. Now get off the phone.

But where's the real Santa?

>> He could be in trouble. Here, your

assignment will explain.

>> Suspicious activity at North Pole and

increased attacks against Inspector

Gadget suggests mad plot by Dr. Claw

against the real Santa Claus. Caution,

this message will self-destruct. That's

funny. I haven't seen any mad agents

around. Don't worry, Chief. Inspector

Gadget is always on duty. I'll get to

the bottom of this. And don't worry

about this message, chief. I never

litter.

>> Oh no.

>> Why me?

>> Looks like we've got to spend Christmas

at the North Pole with Santa Claus and

his elves. Tough break, huh? Brain.

Ooh,

>> there's Santa's village, Uncle Gadget.

>> So it is, Penny. All is calm, all is

bright. This shouldn't take long.

Go, go, gadget autopilot. Drop us here.

That was just an expression.

Go. Go. Gadget plane.

Not gadget copter. Gadget plane. Gadget

plane.

>> Not exactly what I meant.

>> Oh no.

Wowzer.

Hang on. Gray.

Go, go, gadget parachute.

Too slow. I'll freeze on the way down.

Go, go, gadget copper.

There. Much better.

Almost.

>> Uncle Gadget, are you okay? I'm fine,

Penny. Except for this lump in my seat.

>> Oh, look, Uncle Gadget. Santa's village.

It's a Christmas dream come true. Can we

look around

>> now? Patience, Penny. First, I must get

to the bottom of this.

Wowzers. Go, go, gadgets.

If you get my drift,

EVERYTHING SEEMS to be running smoothly,

Penny. I'll just present my credentials

to the big guy in the red suit, take a

quick tour, and then it's home for

Christmas.

>> Gadget here.

>> Excuse me, old fellow.

>> Inspector Gadget here. I'll only take a

moment of your busy schedule. Ah,

gadget. You're always welcome at the

North Pole.

>> To what do we owe this honor?

>> Where have I heard that voice before?

Of course, late at night in my chimney.

Well, Santa, my chief is a silly idea

that the notorious Dr. Claw has

infiltrated the North Pole.

>> My feelings exactly.

Wow.

>> Cute little reindeer does cat

impressions, too.

>> Hi. I'll bet you have some great Santa

stories, Mr. Elf.

>> Maybe not.

Hello.

>> Nice talking to you.

There's something weird going on here,

Brain.

>> I'll examine the facility, Santa, and be

out of your beard in no time.

>> He doesn't look like Santa to me. I'll

have my drones, I mean my elves, show

you around.

>> It's Dr. Claw.

>> There you are, Penny.

>> Uncle Gadget,

>> when I investigate, you go to the elf

commissary for some sugar plum soup.

Wowzers,

>> what a novel tour.

Brain. You follow Uncle Gadget. I'm

going to find out what's going on.

>> I must examine these flying toys. Go,

go, Gadget. Magnifying glass.

>> Wa.

>> On the first phase inspection, good

Santa showed to me a mountain bike with

gadget training wheels.

On the second phase inspection, good

Santa showed to me dolls with extra arms

and a 10speed gadget exercise.

On the third phase inspection, Good

Santa showed to me toy ninja pig stars

with extra arms and an exocycle gadget

Rick Shaw.

On the fourth phase inspection, good

Santa show to me. A kite with an anchor,

dolls with extra arms, toy ninja pigs,

and an airborne gadget unicycle. On a

fifth phase inspection, good Santa show

to me. Drums without drumsticks, a kite

with an anchor, toy, ninja pigs, dolls

with extra arms, one u log. Yike, and a

jet propelled inspector gadget.

Wowers.

Quite an innovative toy line you've got

here, Santa. But what about the inner

workings?

I'm really getting the inside dope.

You are the inside dope gadget.

Good old North Pole knowhow. I'm really

impressed.

Everything seems to be in tip-top shape,

though I haven't inspected your living

quarters.

>> Be my guest, Inspector.

>> WOWZERS.

HO HO HO. INSPECTOR GADGET, am I glad to

see you.

>> Ho ho ho. AND A GO- GO GADGET HANDCUFFS

TO YOU. I hereby arrest you for

impersonating Santa.

>> But but I'm the real Santa Claus.

>> Sure. Next, you'll be telling ME THOSE

EIGHT SHIFTY EYED THUGS WITH SPIKED hair

are your reindeer. Case up. A wreck

wrap-up even for the inspector.

Any Christmas greetings can and will be

used against you. You have the right to

one phone call. Go gadget phone. Since

it's Christmas Eve, the first two

minutes are on me. But make it local.

You there, little elf, instead of

sitting around with that hang dog

expression, GO TELL THE REAL SANTA CLAUS

that Inspector Gadget has cracked the

case.

>> What a weird looking little elf. Now

then, WHEN DID YOU first have the

audacity to pull off this heinous crime?

But I'm really Santa. How? Then prove

it.

I don't like the looks of this sleds

with no runners.

Point a twist at break. Dr. Claw has the

elves under some kind of trance. Kids

won't trust Santa. Come in, brain. Dr.

Claw is ruining Christmas. Where's Uncle

Gadget?

They tried to mangle Uncle Gadget in the

toy machine. That's bad.

>> But he escaped. That's good.

>> He's in a jail cell. That's bad.

>> He found the real Santa Claus. That's

good.

Uncle Gadget put a dog collar on Santa.

>> Arrested.

>> Uncle Gadget arrested the real Santa. Oh

no. What next?

>> Why did I have to ask?

I'll get out somehow. Brain, you've got

to get the key and save Uncle Gadget.

>> Uncle,

>> when the kids get these broken toys,

they won't trust Santa Claus ever again.

And he deserves it for not bringing me

that dirty trick sled when I was a baby

Claw. But I showed Santa. After tonight,

Santa is finished and Gadget will be

eliminated.

>> So far, you failed to shake like a bowl

full of jelly and refuse to go down a

chimney.

>> That only works with a roof.

>> Name your eight tiny reindeer. And no

coaching from you on the end with the

red nose.

>> Go. I don't believe this. I hate to

resort to rough stuff, but time IS

RUNNING OUT. GO GADGET INTERROGATION

DEVICE.

Who's behind this? Was it Dr.

Yes, doctor?

>> You expect me to believe that?

>> How kind of gadget to help a mad cat?

You should do something about those hair

balls. Mad cat.

>> Time to tell me something. Mad cat.

After that elf, no more Mr. Nice Santa.

>> Your eyes don't twinkle. Your dimples

aren't merry. And this ratty FAKE BEARD

WOULDN'T FOOL ANYONE.

>> Give me that PHONY BEARD. LET'S GO.

Let's go.

>> Speak up, turn key. It's about time

North Pole security showed up to give me

a hand.

Aha! I should have known you'd have an

inside accomplice. Go, go, gadget lasso.

>> It's low lives like you that give

Christmas a bad name. You two dwell on

your folly while I tell the real Santa

on you.

>> My sentiments exactly. Oh.

Here you go. But haven't you forgotten

Dunderhead Blitzcr and the other

reindeer?

>> I'll take care of everything myself.

This time there could be no mad blunt.

Uh Merry Blunders.

>> So that's it. Dr. Claw turned the elves

into drones with microchips and their

jingle bells. I've got to find the

control box. Time to spring into action,

fella.

>> This must be where Dr. Claw hid Santa's

real toys.

>> Santa's helper just one more time.

>> Oh, this isn't working, dog.

>> Come in, brain.

>> And it's no time to be doing little girl

impressions.

>> Brain, come in, brain.

Dr. Claw is about to take off in Santa's

sleigh with the rotten toys. We've got

to stop him.

>> Well, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS STANDING AROUND

FOR, DASHER? ON DANCER. MOVE IT. PRANCER

AND VIXEN. We'll meet you at the sleigh.

>> I'd better go along. Santa security, you

know. You've

>> meddled enough, Gadget. Season drones.

That's him. That's him. That's him.

>> How touching. The little guys have

gotten attached to me.

>> I've got to get to Dr. Claus elf

controls.

Chill up, guys. He'll be your merry old

elfelves in no time.

Quick brain in here.

>> Fun's fun, little guys. But I really

should pull myself together and give

Santa a hand.

>> I found the controls. Brain.

>> Yeah.

Jingle bells, el bells, load up Santa

sleigh so Santa can deliver toys in time

for Christmas day. Yeah,

>> load up Santa sleigh. Fill it to the top

so the world's good boys and girls can

cate.

>> Too little, too late, Gadget. You can't

stop me from ruining Christmas.

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM HIS FRIENDS, HE

CAN. Ho ho ho. GO. GO. SANTA REEER.

>> You can have the North Pole. It's

useless now. When I deliver these

defective toys,

>> Santa, you forgot something. I'll tie it

here just in case you want it later.

No need to thank me, Santa. Always glad

to be of service.

>> Way to go, Uncle Gadget.

>> Now, Father, bash away. BASH AWAY. BASH

AWAY.

>> Right here, look what you've done.

>> Yay. Yay.

This is the worst Christmas I've ever

had. I'll get you for this, Gadget. I'll

get you,

>> Inspector Gadget. You've earned the red

sled treatment.

I don't know how you did it, Gadget, but

you saved Christmas for the children of

the world.

>> No time for that, Chief. Christmas

awaits. Go, go, eight tiny reindeer.

I say wait for me. Go, go, gadget.

Wowers, jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is

to ride a Santa open sleigh. Jingle

bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride a Santa open

sleigh.

Ho ho ho ho. Merry Christmas to all and

a gal gadget. Good night.

Home Alone. Home Alone. Trick them every

way. Oh, what fun it is to see.

Home Alone.

>> Home Alone. The Christmas gift of the

year. $24.98 or $5 less with Pepsi

Rebate. Rated PG.

Hello.

>> Hi. What are you doing?

>> Actually, I'm having some waffles.

>> Oh, I love a man with self-control.

>> These happen to be Ego Neutrorain

waffles. Made with the whole grain, no

added sugar, no preservatives.

>> Gee, neutrorain waffles are pretty

nutritious. Yeah. And will you taste

them?

>> Well, you mind if I come over and join

you?

>> And let go my ego.

>> Is that out of the question?

>> I'm willing to negotiate.

>> Ego Neutrorgreen waffles. Also available

in multibrand.

>> Domino's

with Domino's Pizza seasons greeting

special.

Now get a medium pepperoni pizza for

just $2.99 with any large pizza at the

regular price.

>> Nobody knows.

>> We don't make your pizza till you make

your call and deliver in 30 minutes or

less guaranteed.

>> Ho ho

at home.

Well, Rudolph, got enough energy to pull

us through?

>> This is definitely one night you should

test all your batteries with the Copper

Top Tester. It quickly tells you if a

battery should be replaced or go on its

merry way.

The Copper Top Tester,

a little present,

only from Duracell.

Later tonight towards the night before

Christmas and Santa's in the slammer.

>> It means the end of Christmas on this

planet as we know it.

>> Hang on to your seats.

>> Oh brother.

>> As Earnest saves Christmas later tonight

at 98 central.

>> This holiday season, people who have a

lot to buy will find a lot to like in

the Walmart price. Like the Royal Dirt

Devil HandVac, the power of an upright

in the palm of your hand, just $34.96.

or the Dirt Devil Upright vacuum. The

all-in-one cleaner that cleans it all.

Just $139.96.

The longer your list, the more you'll

like it. The Walmart price. It is the

reason you'll be jolly. Walmart always.

>> News flash from Toy City at Meyer.

>> Extra. Myer has great toys.

>> Yes, Meer. Toy City has all the great

toys and at rock bottom prices. This

week at Toy City, save on Outburst now

just $18.96. Plus, get a $2 cash back

coupon. And for only $18.96, get Hugger

Mugger and get a $2 cash back coupon.

>> THIS CHRISTMAS, TOY CITY MEER HAS IT

ALL.

>> KIDS, fill out your wish list in the Toy

City News.

>> Hello, my Toy City.

>> Happy holidays from all of us at 12 News

Nightw Watch.

>> HEY, PYANOS, IT'S THE SUPER MARIO

BROTHERS SUPER SHOW.

WE'RE THE MARIO Brothers and Plumbing's

our game. We're not like the others who

get all the fame. If you sink is in

trouble, you can call us on the double.

We're faster than the others. You'll be

hooked on the brothers.

Hooked on.

Yo, you're in for a treat. So hang on to

your seat. Get ready for adventure and

remarkable feast. You'll meet Coopers

and troopers, the princess and the

others. Hanging with the plumbers,

you'll be hooked on the brothers to the

bridge.

I SAID

THE BROTHERS. THE BROTHERS.

What a fight. What a fight. Look at this

guy. Look at the speed. Bing bang boom

boom.

That's fast, Mario. That's fast. That's

poetry in motion. Boom. Bing. Hey, Ryan.

What are you doing here? And And what's

with the suitcase?

I I'm selling pots and pans door to

door.

>> Ryan,

>> how about encyclopedias?

>> Ryan,

>> would you believe Tupperware?

>> Really,

>> Ryan?

>> Okay, I admit it. I'm lying like a dog.

I'm running away from home. Boy, I

didn't think I'd crack that easy.

>> Why are you running away from home?

My parents don't love me anymore. So,

I'm going to teach them a lesson. And

when I'm gone, are they going to miss

me?

Ryan,

maybe we should talk a little about this

beforeh.

>> Okay.

It's the Mario Brothers and Plum's the

game. Found the secret while working on

the drain. the princess a hand in the

mushroom land the ACTION WITH THE PL

HOOKED ON THE brothers

now evil Cooper and his troopers are up

to misbehaving they kidnapped the

princess mushroom land means saving

abusing and confusing everybody who

discovers they can't help but be hooked

on the brothers

smash them, bust them, break them.

That's what I want to see. Broken toys.

I hate Christmas. I hate gifts. I hate

giving. Christmas.

Okay, the ice bombs are loaded on the

sleigh, Koopa Claus. Good Randolph, you

red-nosed dry Clyde. I'm off to the

North Pole to drop those bombs on

Santa's workshop. I'll freeze the North

Pole and everyone will have a very

unerry Christmas

and an unhappy new year.

Leave the cruel lines to me. Okay.

>> M you worthless bird brains

coup on Christmas.

Mario, I got a funny feeling we are not

in Hawaii land.

>> What's going on, Toad? You were in

charge of getting us here.

>> I guess I MADE A WRONG TURN AT THE last

iceberg.

>> North Pole, 5 miles as the reindeer

flies.

>> Hey, as long as we're here, why don't we

pay a visit to Santa's workshop?

>> As long as we're here.

Did you plan this, Toad?

>> Well, it is Christmas time, Mario.

>> My favorite time of the year. Presents,

presents, presents.

Thomas log, 12:25. A slight detour from

Hawaii land in a tropic sun. Thanks to

Toad. Oh, well, maybe we could pick up

some gold coins working part-time in

Santa's workshop.

>> I can't wait to see Santa. I just know

he's got a fabulous present for me.

>> Actually, Toad, I've got something I

want to give to you.

>> Did someone say something about a

present?

>> I've always got time to get a Christmas

present.

>> Merry Christmas, Toad. After all your

hints, I decided to give you just what

you wanted.

Yay!

A snowboard. I LOVE CHRISTMAS.

>> Look up in the sky.

>> It's a bird. IT'S A PLANE. IT'S KOOPA

CLAUS.

Let's give him a little Christmas

present to melt their frozen pipes. Even

these attack COVER

my snowboard. My bruising.

Did that Cooper ruin my portal? I

>> don't you care if we're all right, Toad?

>> Well, yeah, but my present.

>> I guess your present means more to you

than we do.

>> Well, it is Christmas. Uh, are you okay,

princess?

>> Mario, what's Koopa doing up there

anyway?

He's heading towards Santa's workshop.

>> What?

>> We've got to save Santa. We've got to

save the workshop and the toys.

>> Santa, of course.

>> We're too late. Koopa Claus has frozen

Santa's workshop.

>> But what about Santa?

Now I've got you, Santa. Say goodbye to

your workshop and your elves and your

toys.

>> He's got Santa.

>> Don't do it, Koopa Claus. You'll ruin

Christmas for everyone. Christmas

Coop,

>> this can't be happening. We'll never

have Christmas again. I'll never get

another present.

We got to do something. Mario, look. The

elf's playground.

We got one shot. Luigi, toss me a snow

from the end.

>> I'm supposed to toss this to you. Then

bring it to me.

Set it on a teeter totter.

Oh,

now jump on it, Tina. Dar, you got to be

kidding. YOU WANT TO SAVE CHRISTMAS OR

NOT?

MARIO, you stop Koopa.

>> But we still have to catch him.

Heat. Heat.

I uh I don't know about this Mario, that

could be thin ice.

>> If it'll hold KOOPA AND SANTA, IT must

be 100 ft thick.

>> You think those spaghetti ants are going

to rescue you? Forget it. I got friends

in this neck of the woods. Koopa flurry

back. Attack.

>> I should have known Koopa Claus would

send his flurries to fight us.

>> We have to get past those flies.

>> Let's fight fire with fire.

You made me fight ice with ice.

Those train brains have defeated my

flurries.

>> We've got to go in after him.

Looks pretty dark in there to me.

>> The whole world will look pretty dark

without Christmas.

>> Yeah. What's Christmas without presents

and Santa?

No more Mr. Nice Koopa. I got the Jolly

Man. See, one false move and he goes

over the cliff.

And I got a feeling it won't be such a

happy landing. See?

>> I can't believe you would do that,

Koopa. Doesn't Christmas mean anything

to you?

>> Christmas. CHRISTMAS IS A BAHAM COUPE.

Abham co. Abham

co.

We got to get back in the cave. Mario,

you take the princess and toad. I'm

going to save Santa with my plumber

snake.

>> Wait a minute. What about me?

Not me. I'm not jumping into that ice

man.

I didn't get the room Christmas. The

Mario brothers beat me again and I'm

floating away at an iceberg. What else

can go wrong?

I want to thank all of you for saving me

from Koopa Claus.

I wonder how long it'll be till the

workshop thaws out.

>> Not in time for me to make my

deliveries, that's for sure. There will

be no Christmas this year.

>> Don't feel bad, Santa. At least I got my

present.

>> It's It's very nice, Toad.

>> What's wrong with Santa?

>> You got your present, Toad, but no one

else is going to get theirs. Santa's

toys are frozen.

>> Here, Santa, take my snowboard. At least

you'll have one present you can give.

>> Toad, in all my life, I have never seen

anyone express the true spirit of

Christmas better than you.

>> Don't cry, Santa. Please.

>> I'm just so happy.

>> Look, the spirit of Christmas giving is

touching everything. To code, your

unselfish act fills me with the warm

spirit of Christmas and it melts Koopa's

ice.

It's going to be a merry Christmas after

all.

We made it, Zena.

>> Thanks to you, Toad.

I'd like to give all of you a special

present. How about coming with me to

deliver the presents?

>> You mean it, Santa?

>> Sure I do. And you can ride up front

with me, Toad.

Mario Christmas to all and to all a good

night.

>> Thanks for the pizza, guys. I hate to

run away an empty stomach. M

>> you know, Brian, I've been thinking. No

matter how bad you think things are, you

don't want to run away. Trust me on

this.

>> Sorry, guys. I've made up my mind. I'll

teach my parents to appreciate me.

>> Brian, you may not believe this, but

when Luigi and I were kids, I ran away

from home.

>> Really?

>> Yeah. Shoot, right?

>> Why, I remember. It was like yesterday.

I BEAT YOU. I BEAT YOU. I BEAT YOU.

>> You pickle.

>> Boys, how many times do I HAVE TO TELL

YOU NOT TO FIGHT? MARIO, since you're

the oldest, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

YOU'RE GROUNDED.

But no, you already GRABBED ME FIVE

TIMES THIS WEEK. WELL, THEN GO PEEL THE

GARLIC FOR THE NEXT FIVE DAYS. OH, MAMA.

NO, that the garlic. It makes ME SMELL

SO BAD. EVEN I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH

ME. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? AND SHE GOES AND

PUNISHING ME AGAIN, BABY. YOU ALWAYS GET

ME PUNISHED. I tell you WHAT I'M GOING

TO DO. I'M GOING TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME.

>> OKAY.

Who cares?

I'm so scared. Maybe I shouldn't have

run away from home. I know. I'll do what

I do whenever I'm scared. Watch these

scenes from the next Legend of Zelda.

>> Boy, it must have went fun out on your

own.

>> Oh no. And little did I know that back

home the hearts of my poor family were

breaking.

>> Oh yeah, we were miserable.

the best popcorn

time. I have the whole country to

myself. You're the bestest mama in the

whole world. I love this type of without

your brother here. THERE'S A LOT MORE

FOR US.

>> MOM, I'M SORRY I RAN AWAY FROM HOME.

YOU'RE PROBABLY WORRIED SICK

>> ABOUT WHAT? MOM, DID YOU MISS ME? NO, I

don't MISS YOUR YELLING. I DIDN'T MISS

YOUR FIGHTING WITH YOUR BROTHER. AND I

DIDN'T MISS your room in a mess. But you

I miss

>> What was that for? Just in case.

>> Boy, I remember IT LIKE IT WAS

YESTERDAY.

MARIO, that story was so beautiful. I'm

ready to barf.

>> Yeah, but have YOU LEARNED A LESSON,

BRIAN?

>> HUH? I shouldn't run away cuz my parents

will enjoy it too much.

>> That's right.

Brian,

>> I better hurry home before the popcorn's

GONE.

>> OKAY, BRIAN. GOOD LUCK.

>> All right. So long. Thanks for visiting.

>> Take care, Brian. Don't sell too much

Tupperware. What's the cause?

Nice kid.

>> He's a great kid. Boy, were we miserable

when you ran away.

>> My brother a nice guy. Sure. Come on.

More beach. Where's the beach?

>> Do Mario.

DO THE MARIO. SWING YOUR arms from side

to side. Come on. It's time to go. Do

the Mario. Take one step and then again.

LET'S DO THE MARIO ALL TOGETHER NOW.

You got it.

It's the Mario.

DO THE MARIO. SWING YOUR arms from side

to side. Come on. It's time to go. Do

the Mario. Take one step and then again.

LET'S DO THE MARIO ALL TOGETHER NOW.

COME ON NOW. JUST LIKE THAT.

>> Cookie time.

>> This holiday season, McDonald's is

celebrating Disney and Pixar's A Bug's

Life with six chicken McNuggets for only

99. There's no

>> Heimlick, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

>> I WAS HUNGRY. How am I going to get us

out of this one?

>> Who says there's nothing good on TV?

>> Six McNuggets for just 99 cents. Did

somebody say McDonald's?

>> Just when they thought it was safe to

break out of prison.

>> Hia, pal.

Don't you know a kid always wins against

the ends two idiots?

>> Oops.

>> Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

>> Did you GUYS GIVE UP?

>> NEVER.

>> RATED PG. Starts Friday, November 20th

at theaters everywhere.

>> Up wants to make you a believer. You can

get $10 in free groceries and Seven Up

for your family with Uncola Miracle

Money. It's true. Just see the new

Miracle on 34th Street movie. Then stop

by a 7Up display for details on how

Miracle Money can help make your season

jolly.

Why all the excitement? Because with

Uncola Miracle Money, you can get $10 in

free groceries in Seven Up.

>> I knew it.

>> Just see the new Miracle on 34th Street

movie.

>> Hey,

>> then stop by a 7-Up display for Miracle

Money details and have a happy holiday.

>> Jingle bell, Santa smells Christmas

really. I got nothing that I like. My

gifts were all just junk. Boxes full of

clothes. CDs. No one knows. WHEN I

WANTED SOMETHING FOR MY NINTENDO 64,

Zelda's great to rock too. South Park

would be fine. How about Squadron? That

game should be mine.

>> Make up for a lame Christmas. Get the

hits you missed on N64.

>> This Christmas you can buy another toy

or you can buy this. The Sega Master

System of Entertainment with super

sensitive control pads and a pinpoint

accurate light phaser that even

registers misses. The unique Sega card

with 256K memory and even more. Our Mega

Cartridge with an unbelievable four

times more power than most cartridges.

It's a future of excitement. The Sega

Master System of Interactive Video

Entertainment.

>> Why did mom give you the silver? I I was

supposed to get this.

>> Where were you when mom was sick? Oh,

that's right.

>> You're in Florida with that. Don't talk

to my wife that way.

>> Anyway, I want to know you're not even

I've got to say

>> I think I want to be a Democrat.

>> Okay, time out. Fangs and claws away.

Peace on earth. Goodwill to each other.

Where's the love?

>> You can't stop, Grandma. You can

>> stay.

Cool.

>> I heard Matt got a Sega Genesis.

>> I heard Matt got a Sega Genesis.

>> Well, I guess one more is okay.

The Sega Genesis game cartridges sold

separately.

>> Yummy fruity pebbles and apples.

Uh oh, here comes you know who.

>> Ya daba fruicious too. Ho ho ho. I'm

hungry.

Santa, my pebbles.

>> YOUR pebbles is the season to be

sharing, Fred.

Happy holidays, pal. Oh, Fred.

>> Fruity and cocoa pebble cereals part of

this nutritious breakfast.

Heat. Heat.

Happy holidays.

>> Grab the toys. Put them with the fat

guy.

>> That's elves.

If they move,

atomize them.

Give me

something.

Heat. Heat.

Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.

Electric foot massager for Zed. His and

his towels for the twins and morning

brew the coffee scented cologne for the

worm guys. I think I'm done. You

>> not quite.

>> Okay.

>> Mhm. K's hard to know and even harder to

buy for. And I know him better than

anyone.

>> Almost.

Hey, what's up?

>> I'm Frieza. My took us off here.

>> Merry Christmas.

I'm Jewish.

>> It's cross-cultural. Go on, open it.

>> Hey, a tower.

Been wanting one of these.

>> Wish I knew what Kay wanted for

Christmas.

Got scoop, Frank.

>> What makes you think he got you

anything?

Get those fruit cups of Java la.

>> Frank's right. I won't take it

personally. Kay just ain't the

sentimental type.

>> Ever hear the joy of giving?

>> Kay's the guy who took the egg out of

hardboiled. If I gave him a gift, he'd

just think I was going soft. Slick.

>> H.

Hope you like it.

>> Okay. Uh, thanks. I can't wait to give

you yours.

>> Well,

it's uh being wrapped. I'll go see if

it's ready.

>> I'll wait here.

Uh

stand up.

>> Norat should have picked up Crinkle's

trail hours ago.

Old guy slowing down.

>> Z. They got Nick.

>> Keys

>> to what?

>> What else? Three letters, four tires,

5,000 horsepower.

Elvis means I got to find Kay the

perfect gift.

Jay

>> Slick, get over here.

>> Uh K, I'm just waiting for the ribbon

>> now.

>> He knows

that. Head over there.

>> From the planet Pixopoulos.

>> Agents, we have a code white. Everybody

hits the streets. Christmas is on hold

until we find Santa Claus.

>> Santa Claus is is missing.

>> Abducted Dre.

>> Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold

up. You mean to tell me you believe in

Santa?

>> Huh?

>> Mickey, they take the toys.

>> Ah, every last one, Zed. Okay, take

Mickey with find Santa.

Sorry, Ace. Christmas is on hold.

No ransom note, no demands. Why did Dre

kidnap Santa?

>> Maybe he didn't like what Santa gave him

last year.

>> Or maybe Dre's working for someone else.

So, uh, Mickey, is it? You guys sure

should got here fast from the North

Pole.

>> North Pole? New York. Don't you know

nothing?

>> The Arctic North Pole is a smokeokc

screen.

>> Big Nick prefers four seasons. Who could

blame him?

>> Guess aliens are a lot like humans in

that way.

>> Hello,

K. Where'd you get this guy?

>> Santa's not an alien. Just the elves.

>> So what's Santa then?

>> Let's just say some things are bigger

than even MIB.

>> Ho ho.

Okay.

>> You here to sing me a Christmas carol?

>> I don't sing.

>> And we're not here to shop. So, don't

try and sell us any of your junk.

>> This is not junk.

This was handcrafted by elves.

>> You know, trading in elf goods is

illegal, Jebs.

>> Oh,

>> who sold them to you?

MIB freeze.

Anyone for roasting chestnuts?

Huh?

>> Check these on.

What are they?

>> Elfme, of course.

>> Do not pass. Go, Frosty.

I hate snowboarders.

What the hell?

Executive punning machine.

Still shopping for K.

Don't

>> Mickey,

>> your jolliness.

>> Agent Jay, you know my name.

Got to get out of here.

>> Relax.

Elf in the house. Come on, baby. Give it

up.

Sweet.

>> Code White, highest ranking MIB official

has to sub for Santa in the event of his

disappearance.

>> Jolly Saint Zed and his alienled sled.

Okay, El, what do you got?

>> No sign of them, Zed.

>> It's almost midnight. We're running out

of time. We've got elves making more

toys. And we've got our Quillians

assembling a flying reindeer team just

in case I need to hit the bricks.

>> Okay, twins have something. An arrival.

Can we ID?

>> It's a Zidoran craft.

>> Zidora, planet of children.

Technologically advanced. But

emotionally, no one there ages past the

Earth equivalent of 7 years. This is

starting to make sense. Could be Dre's

employer.

>> Don't know how many there are. We need a

plan.

>> I know. We'll radio for help.

>> Usually need a radio for that.

Dude makes maggyver look like Dopey.

>> But how will MIB find us? Even I don't

know where we are.

Are you track?

>> Nope.

>> Santa Claus?

>> Mm-m.

>> Who's in

>> ghost of Christmas future?

>> Elf one to MIB. Do you read? Come in.

cardio. Pick up Bob.

>> Mickey Z, I read you.

>> Got Santa. Need assist.

>> Coordinates

>> unknown.

>> Keep transmitting so the twins can

triangulate a fix. I'll send in the

troops.

>> Santa alive.

>> And now I'm going to show you two why

it's more fun to give than to receive.

SANTA RUN

Of

course you needed reindeer to fly.

>> His meriness is very talented.

>> Hold your fire, idiots. We need him

alive.

Ho ho ho ho.

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.

Ye merry gentleman implant. That's what

I'm talking about.

>> Santa Claus is back in town. That's what

I'm talking about.

Your vestments, my lege.

>> Where's K?

>> Candy cane lane.

You see, they know when they wake up on

Christmas morning, they'll have presents

under their tree.

>> But if there were no Santa,

>> hustle up. Hustle up. We're on a

schedule here, people.

Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and

Vixen, on Comic, on Cupid, on Dollar and

Blitzen.

>> Yo, where's Trek?

SANTA, NO. WHY?

>> No time. No time.

I do not think that's part of the

tradition.

>> Yo, Trek

gracious.

Thanks for taking down my troops. More

bounty for me.

>> Agent J,

>> it's for you.

Lumper Cole, you've been naughty.

Need a cleanup van. Something big and

fat went down a chimney

and it wasn't Santa.

How did you know? A little bird told me

>> it was tight, but Santa hit every last

house.

>> I know. I was with him the whole way.

>> And thanks to K&L, the Zidorans have

learned the era of their ways. Didn't

mean any harm. They just wanted a

Christmas, too.

Looks like they're having one. Cringle

works fast.

>> I know.

>> That's a wrap. Let's unwrap.

>> Uh K. You you you shouldn't have. I

mean, see I

>> uh

open it.

Wow. Keys.

The LTD.

>> Executive washroom.

Linen towels. Cologne dispenser. I'm

touched.

>> Looks like mine's right here.

Festive wrapping paper. Slick.

>> But But see, I I didn't

A Christmas Carol first edition. My

favorite book. Ace.

>> Huh?

Didn't think I ever mentioned.

>> Hunch.

I am your partner.

Oh, thanks for making me look good.

Ready

for your picture with my new Polaroid

Captiva? Smile.

>> Where's the picture?

>> Oh, come on. You can down now.

>> I want my picture.

>> The new Polaroid Captiva. It stores its

pocketsiz pictures till you take them

out. So, pick one up for the holidays.

Santa, our budgets feel tight. This week

at Sears, save $50 on this Kenmore

upright with attachments, then get a

free canister vacuum. We're open 8 till

11:00. Come see the side of

surprise people during the holidays.

So shop at Staples, the office

superstore, and give them something

different like a laser printer,

electronic organizer, or cordless phone.

Over 5,000 gift ideas at a guaranteed

low price. Staples. Yeah, we've got

that.

>> Sweet dreams. You can't resist.

A dream as sweet as this. N E S T L E S

creamy why

dreamy why

Nestle makes the very best. N E S T.

Sweet dreams you can't

resist.

Well, way up north where the air gets

cold, there's a jail that you've all

been a real

anywhere.

It's losing

Christmas

phantom. Who is the mysterious figure in

red THAT IS STALKING ARGIE? Can Argie

find out before Christmas in Riverdale

is ruined? OR WILL ARCHIE AND Riverdale

fall victim to the horror of the

Christmas Phantom?

What's that sound?

What is going on in this town?

Who is going to crack the case? Mar

with the freckle face. Maring

things are getting weird in Riverdale.

Hey, what's that sound?

What is going on in this town? Archie

Reggie Veronica

where

his weird mysteries.

Come, come, Mr. Bailey. There's nothing

down here to be frightened of. Unless

you count the Christmas phantom, that

is.

>> But of course, everyone knows the

Christmas phantom is no more real than

Santa Claus. What are you talking about,

Mr. Lodge? What Christmas Phantom?

>> You haven't heard the story. 30 years

ago, on Christmas Eve, the Lodge

department store burned to the ground,

leaving only this very basement intact.

Some say it's haunted. The mystery is

the store Santa Claus vanished that very

same night. Chris Nicholas was his name.

Rumor has it he's the Christmas phantom.

I ask you, Mr. Bailey, have you ever

heard such superstitious nonsense before

in your life?

>> Um, no, sir. Now, let's find that Santa

Claus suit.

Surprise! The costumes in here. Come on,

the kids are waiting.

Ow. Huh?

Who did that? Huh?

Huh?

Have a safe trip back home for

Christmas, Miss Grundy. Now, don't open

my gift until Christmas morning. Mr.

Weatherbe, how much longer is it going

to take Archie to finish up?

>> This is taking forever.

>> Boy, I love Christmas.

What? No snow yet? Oh, well, maybe

later. It always snows in time for

Christmas in Riverdale. We've been

waiting 45 minutes for you, Argie.

>> I just had to make sure everybody at

Riverdale High got their gifts.

>> And you mean everybody.

>> What can I say? I like Christmas.

>> Big deal. We all like Christmas.

Especially all the presents we'll be

getting

>> and all that delicious Christmas food

and all the babysitting money I'll make

when all those moms and dads go

Christmas shopping.

>> Don't forget all those bargains in the

after Christmas sales.

>> But what about spending quality time

with friends and family?

>> Face it, Arch. Everyone knows the best

thing about Christmas is the eats.

>> What about the spirit of giving? It's

fun to get, too. Admit it, Archie.

There's got to be something you really

want for Christmas. Come on, fess up.

What did you ask Santa to get you this

year?

>> Well, I knew it.

>> I really wanted to start off the new

year with a fantastic weird mystery for

my column. Christmas is almost here, and

so far, Santa hasn't come through with

anything.

>> The poor boy has Christmas and weird

mysteries on the brain. Oh, Archicens,

all this talk of giving must mean you're

about to buy me a really expensive gift

for Christmas, right?

>> Uh, well, actually, I'm broke. I spent

all my money on gifts for Mr. Weatherbe

and the others at school.

>> Huh?

>> Andrews, you're hopeless.

>> You lavish gifts on them.

But you're going to neglect me.

>> What do you want? Oh, hi, Daddy.

>> Veronica, my Santa Claus just flipped

out and quit on me. He said the

Christmas tree attacked him. Do you know

any suckers uh responsible teenagers

that need to make some chump change this

Christmas?

>> Oh, do I? But make sure you tell him

about the tree thing first.

It's for you, Archicens.

>> Hello.

Really? I'll be right there. Thanks, Mr.

Lodge. Looks like there's a Santa Claus

after all. Mr. Lodge is a really weird

mystery for me. Oh, and he offered me a

job, too. I start right now.

>> Archie, Christmas is our most profitable

time of the year. I can't take a chance

on having the customers frightened off.

I'm trusting you to get to the bottom of

this weird mystery.

>> You can count on me, sir. I'll be the

best undercover operative you've ever

had. I'd rather you be the best Santa

I've ever had. It is the season to make

money, you know.

>> Oh, right. So, this is the homicidal

pine tree.

>> Yes. This is the conifer that supposedly

attacked Mr. Bailey. Or at least that's

what he said when he quit. Funny how no

one saw it happen except him. But you're

used to things like that, right,

Andrews?

>> Absolutely. Weird mysteries are us, sir.

Good, because whatever happens, you have

to stay calm and keep the kids happy.

Speaking of which,

>> you don't look too dangerous to me. Now,

behave yourself. Children are counting

on me. Let's give it a try.

>> Ho ho ho. What do you want for

Christmas, little boy?

>> This is going to be a lot of fun. Ho ho

ho ho ho ho.

Come children, Santa's waiting.

This has been the most profitable

shopping day in the large department

store's history. Well, Archie, you did

much better than I expected. And I see

the Christmas tree kept its branches to

itself.

>> Yeah, I think that Bailey fellow made it

all up. You know, Mr. Lodge, I can't

believe how greedy kids are these days.

Christmas is supposed to be about good

cheer. Uh, what am I going to be like

after a whole Christmas season of this?

>> Large department store. Santa speaking.

Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho.

>> Why, hello, Santa. I hope you're

bringing me plenty of gifts this year.

>> Oh, hi, Veronica. Ho ho ho. Hello there,

little boy.

>> You're still going to be able to make it

to the Christmas Eve party tonight,

aren't you? We're going to be closing in

5 minutes. I'll come over as soon as I'm

done here.

>> Please don't do that. Santa bruises

easily.

>> Attention shoppers. The large department

store is now closed for business. Be

sure to drop by for our special after

Christmas sale.

Have a wonderful Christmas tomorrow,

little fellow.

must have dozed off. Oops, almost forgot

the presents I got for everyone.

Great. Someone turned off the lights. I

can't see a thing.

Oh no, the doors are locked. Help. I'm

still inside. LET ME OUT. WONDERFUL. I'm

stuck here overnight. Wait a minute.

This store is closed tomorrow. I'll be

trapped here till after Christmas.

What's that?

Now I'm hearing things. It can't get any

worse than this.

I have all the luck. I'm going to spend

all of Christmas inside this department

store. Wait a minute. What am I

thinking? I can just make a phone call

for help.

The line is dead. Everyone's going to be

so busy eating and opening presents,

they won't even notice I'm gone.

>> What are you guys doing in here? They're

about to bob for apples on the veranda.

>> We're waiting for Archie to show up.

>> Ah, he's probably running late. Come on,

Jug Head. There's plenty of food on the

buffet tables.

>> No, not yet. I always wait for Archie to

make his Christmas toast, then I eat.

It's a Christmas tradition for me.

>> What about you, Veronica? Lots of

presents under the tree waiting for you.

>> Oh, half the fun is Archicens watching

me open the presents. He enjoys that so

much.

>> Make room for me.

You're right. Christmas just isn't the

same without Archie.

There's got to be some way to get out of

here. Huh?

Huh?

I don't know what is going on here, but

I'm going to find out.

Oh, well, here goes nothing.

Welcome, Margie Andrews. We've been

waiting for you. Please join us.

>> I don't think so.

>> On second thought, don't mind if I do.

There's no answer at Archie's house. I'm

really beginning to get worried.

>> Veronica, dear, how did you convince

Archie to not sing all those Christmas

carols out of key this year?

>> Actually, Archie hasn't shown up yet.

>> Too bad. I hate to admit it, but I was

actually beginning to enjoy those lousy

carols. I guess they grow on you.

>> He's not at home either. I could have

sworn everyone was out of the store when

I locked up.

>> Daddy, I'm really worried. We need to go

look for Archie.

>> I think you're right. I suppose Archie

is just like all those Christmas carols

he sings. Really annoying, but you miss

him when he's not around.

>> Come on, everyone. Archie needs us.

>> Huh?

Yeah.

Ow. Who are you?

>> You can call me the Christmas phantom.

According to legend, I was once known as

Chris Nicholas, the large department

store Santa Claus, 30 years ago, just

like you were this year's Santa.

It was a good life until tragedy struck,

forcing me to wear this mask and hide

myself from mortal eyes. Since then, I

have watched as Christmas changed into a

holiday of greed and selfishness. For

the past few days, I've watched and

marveled at your patience and generosity

and warmth. You alone still possess the

true spirit of Christmas, Archie

Andrews.

>> Thanks, but it really isn't that big a

deal.

>> And modest, too. The only one in

Riverdale.

Riverdale. Ba. Riverdale doesn't deserve

Christmas.

>> That's a little harsh.

>> No, it isn't. That's why I'm going to

take Christmas away from Riverdale.

>> Really? And how are you going to do

that?

>> With this book of spells that helped me

bring all these inanimate objects to

life.

I'll have them take every trace of

Christmas from Riverdale.

>> Not if I can find a spell to stop you.

>> And I thought you of all people would

understand. Archie Andrews.

Bring him to me.

Huh?

Out of my way, you big sap.

All I have to do is find the spell that

changed that Christmas tree and those

toy robots back to normal.

Huh?

Sapling? I said you were big for a

sapling. Really?

Argie,

where are you?

>> Argie.

>> Hey, Archie. Where the heck are you?

>> What's up, folks?

>> Archie's missing and we're looking for

him.

>> That's terrible. I'll help you look.

Remember when we had that bad storm last

Christmas and the phone lines went down?

Archie found an old ham radio so I could

talk with my sister on the holiday.

Christmas just isn't the same without

Archie. We're beginning to realize that.

Heat. Heat.

Huh? Oh no.

Yes. Now, nothing can stop me from

taking Christmas from Riverdale.

>> Please don't do this. Sure, maybe a lot

of people have forgotten what Christmas

is really about, but there's always a

chance that they will remember.

>> So, what's your point?

>> Don't you see? If we take away

Christmas, you take away any hope that

people might one day respect it more.

Isn't that what Christmas is really all

about? Hope.

>> Hope. Huh? Okay, Argie Andrews. I'll

make you a deal. You give up your

Christmas and the rest of Riverdale can

keep theirs. We'll see how serious you

are about this.

>> You mean

>> That's right. No presents to give, no

presents to get. You'll spend Christmas

alone while everyone else has a good

time. What do you say? Do we have a

deal?

>> But I keep the book.

>> Sure. Consider it a present. Read it

sometime. It's a classic.

>> A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. He

tricked me. Christmas never was in

danger.

>> At least he unlocked the door.

>> There he is.

>> Archicens.

>> We've looked everywhere.

>> You guys were looking for me instead of

enjoying the Christmas Eve party. I'm

sorry I ruined your Christmas Eve.

>> Hey buddy, knowing you're safe makes it

a good Christmas. Good day you back,

pal.

>> We're just glad you're okay.

>> We missed you, Archans.

Huh? My turn.

>> Huh?

Wait, I left my presents in the store.

I'll be right back.

>> Hurry up. I am hosting a party, you

know. And if you want to sing any of

those Christmas carols of yours, I won't

complain.

>> Wow, I'll have to get lost more often.

>> I got to know

>> what it can't be.

>> Afraid so, Argie.

You don't expect me to believe that

you're the real Santa Claus.

>> Archie, you believe in ghosts,

werewolves, aliens, and monsters. Why is

it so hard to believe the real Santa

Claus would come to Riverdale?

>> But why here?

>> Someone needed a Christmas lesson.

>> Me?

>> Oh, no. You're fine. It was your friends

who needed a reminder of what is really

important about Christmas. A Christmas

Eve without you did the trick.

>> Then why all the scary stuff? The

Christmas Phantom and Chris Nicholas and

the spooky tree in the robots.

>> Don't you remember? You asked for a

really weird mystery for Christmas. You

have to admit this was a good one. The

mysterious phantom of the department

store stealing Christmas in Riverdale.

>> Yeah, now that you mention it, it was a

really great weird mystery. Thanks.

Hey, does Santa deliver or what? Well,

I've got my list and I've got to go.

It's a work night.

Here, let us help you with those.

It's snowing. This is going to be a

perfect Christmas.

There's nothing wrong with gifts and a

big fancy dinner. But the best thing

about the holiday season is sharing time

with your loved ones, making someone

smile with your generosity and

appreciating all the fine people in your

life. That's something I always try to

remember when I celebrate Christmas in a

little town called Riverdale.

>> Merry Christmas to all and to all a good

night.

Heat.

Heat.

Ouch.

>> Dick.

>> Welcome to Christmas Future.

>> Where'd you get all those toys?

>> You bought them.

>> Did not.

>> Did too?

>> Did not.

>> Yes. You went to Canadian Tire for all

kinds of great toys at low prices.

>> Like this Nintendo action set. Just

$1379.

Now you're playing with power. And Dr.

Mario is here. Only $56.99.

>> Come on, Scrooge. Those aren't your

toys.

>> Well, I paid for them, didn't I?

>> Canadian Tire lets you give like Santa

and save like Scrooge.

>> We'll be back after this. Personally, I

think commercials have some pretty cool

stuff.

>> GET READY.

>> QUIET.

>> GET SET.

>> God save my little broken body.

>> For the funniest family movie of the

year.

>> I don't want to. Walt Disney Pictures

presents from Jim Henson Productions.

The Muppet Christmas Carol. It's a

Dickens of an adventure as only The

Muppets can tell it.

>> I am here to tell the story and I am

here for the food.

>> Only in theaters. The Muppet Christmas

Carol.

>> You know that Bruce is wax.

>> Rated G. Starts Friday, December 11th at

a theater near you.

>> In the AllTerrain Road Rally, no one

rivaled mean Eddie Octane. No one except

the Lego maniac. Red, white, and dude.

Accelerate most righteously. Crash

alert. Most timely trauma team to the

rescue. Now time for a totally

recharging pit stop.

>> Racing to victory.

>> Yes.

>> The Lego Maniac new Mean Eddie would be

back next year.

>> What a drag.

>> The Lego System Town Collection. Each

sold separately only from Lego.

>> Let's go racing. It's Super Mario Kart

funny car madness only on Super NES.

Turn the track into a giant mud pit or

burn rubber on ice water as wild. Mix it

up for the big boys.

>> See Bows in HIS BIGFOOT DROPPING TRUCK.

SEE YOSHI'S GO-KART. REALLY GOOD.

MUSHROOMS, BANANA PEELS, TURTLE SHELLS,

DINO MIGHT.

>> CHECK your rear view and MAKE A MEAN

TEST. Or go in the battle mode and ruin

his day. TWO SPEEDS, FAST AND WAY TOO

FAST. IT'S TWO-PLAYER FUN ON THE SPLIT

SCREEN. Only for the Super Nintendo

Entertainment System. Now you're playing

with our superpower.

>> There's only one thing they're into as

much as Domino's pizza.

>> Now order Domino's and get your Domino's

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card with a chance to win thousands of

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A new game is here for your Super NES

Super Scope. So prepare yourself because

this one fights back.

Introducing Battle Clash.

10 levels where monster machines get

totally in your face.

Battle Clash. It's more than a game.

It's a breakthrough.

>> Have you been inside all day?

>> Only on the Super Nintendo Entertainment

System. Now you're playing with

superpower.

Hey, Nana Snow Globe. I completely

forgot about this. She said it would

always make my wishes come true. No,

hasn't worked so far.

Oh, you're such a klutz. You can't do

anything right. I just wish I could have

a perfect Christmas for once in my life.

A

>> eternal Christmas.

Come on, Martin. It's 3:00. This is no

time to be goofing around.

>> What are you talking about, Diana?

School's out for Christmas vacation.

It's the perfect time to be goofing

around.

Not according to my schedule. 3:00, find

Martin and get a ride home. 4:00, change

into flannel jammies and make holiday

shortbread cookies. 5:00, commence

watching sappy, tearjerking Christmas

flicks on TV.

>> Wow, that sounds like fun. I especially

like the part where you plan every

waking second.

>> Are you making fun of me?

>> Look, De, all I'm saying is the holidays

are supposed to be about spontaneous

fun, not about forced marrynt. Now toss

the daytimer and chill. Toss my

daytimer. Never. I'd be lost without it.

>> That head so better not be what I think

it is. Mom promised us the week off.

>> Aha. Maybe she just wants to wish us a

merry Christmas. I guess I can pencil

her in.

Hey, where's Java?

>> He's probably hiding from you and the

organizer from hell.

>> Martin mystery clear. Diana Lombard

clear. Ho ho ho.

>> Happy holidays.

I just love eggnog.

>> Gross. What's in here, Billy? I ran out

of normal eggs, so I had to substitute

with the egg of the three-horned albino

rhinoceros.

It looks like you better schedule a 3:30

holiday stomach pumping.

>> Merry Christmas.

>> Nice look, Job. Especially the lid. only

I'm not exactly catching the Christmas

vibe.

>> Job and I are both alone for the

holidays. So, we rented a cabin and

we're going ice fishing.

>> Wow,

cool Christmas tree. Can I touch it?

>> Go ahead. It was a present from the

Centurion Galaxy. It's luminescent, so

there's no need for lights.

>> Oo, cool.

>> And there's a little something under

there for each of you.

>> Oh, Mom. You shouldn't have.

>> A flashing strobe light decoder ring.

>> I really wanted to get you something

you'd like. And I've noticed you enjoy

looking at shiny things.

>> That's Martin. All right. Easily amused.

Excellent choice, Mom.

Hey, quit it.

>> Your turn, Agent Lombard. I just hope

you like your gift as much as Martin

does.

>> Wow, how

interesting. Um, what is it exactly?

>> It's a paper weight. How perfect.

>> Not just any paper weight. It's one of a

kind. Made from a piece of the twister I

brought back from my Tennessee vacation.

>> Very

cool. Thanks, Mom.

>> Now, if you'll excuse us, the holidays

await.

Not so fast. Several motorists have

disappeared from the same stretch of

mountain road in Upper Lurentans,

Quebec. I'd like you two to check it

out.

>> But mom, it's the holidays. Besides, the

motorist probably just went off the road

in a winter storm.

>> No storms have been reported in the

area. The sooner you're on it, the

sooner you can start your vacation,

Billy.

Let's take the scenic route. I never get

lost.

>> Well, we're officially lost. Nice going.

>> Stop being so uptight. You wanted

Christmas? Well, here it is. Now mellow

out and enjoy the holiday scenery.

>> It's way too freaky out here. And your

hat is giving me a major headache.

Let's see. 1 hour to get back to the

exit. 40 minutes to get back to the

city. That should get me home just in

time to trim the tree. But I'll

definitely miss my 7:30 holiday

carolling.

>> Okay, that's it. I can't take another

second of you and your date timer.

>> Well, I can't take another second of

your ridiculous flashing hat and your

stupid scenic routes.

>> Fine, then let's get this mission over

with ASAP. Then you'll be free to do

your burring thing and I'll be free to

do my fun thing. And in the meantime,

don't even bother talking to me.

>> Fine. From this moment on, I won't say

another word.

>> Look out. WE'RE GOING TO CRASH.

WHAT WAS THAT THING?

>> I don't know, but your screaming wasn't

helping. For someone who's not talking,

you sure have a lot to say.

>> Oh, I'm sorry. Next time I'll keep my

utter terror to myself.

>> Huh?

>> Hey, skip marks. I wonder if they have

anything to do with the missing

motorists. Guess we'll never know since

they vanish into thin air.

>> Okay, I just got a serious case of the

creeps. Why do you say we look for the

missing motorist someplace else?

Okay, now I'm the one who's freaked.

Diana. DIANA,

>> RELAX, MR. Spontaneous Fun. It's just

me.

>> What was with that blinding flash of

light?

>> It was probably just the headlights of

an oncoming car. It must have knocked us

into the snowbank.

>> Speaking of cars, where'd ours go? More

importantly, where'd that come from?

>> Man, they sure like Christmas around

here.

>> That's an understatement. I mean, hello.

This joint is tackier than that hat of

yours.

>> I like to think of it as festive.

>> Oh, sorry. My name is Clifford. Are you

lost? Oh, no. We're looking for some

people who've gone missing. You wouldn't

happen to know anything about it, would

you?

>> Oh, my no. This is a quiet little town.

Nothing of interest ever happens here.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the

midst of my holiday preparations. You'd

best be on your way. Just follow that

path through the trees. It'll take you

back to the highway.

>> Ever get the feeling you're not wanted?

>> Every day. Unfortunately, I'm forced to

hang with you.

>> Duh. I was talking about Clifford. I

mean, think about it. He wasn't exactly

driving the welcome wagon.

>> You're right. We should probably stick

around and check things out.

>> A so long roasting marshmallows,

mold, apple cider, horavo, tree trimming

fun.

>> Whoa. If that's not Bizarro, I don't

know what is.

>> You mean their outdated fashion sense?

No, I mean the way they just keep going

around the pond the exact same way every

single time. They're even more boring

than you are.

>> Hello. It's a small town. People get

stuck in their routines, Martin.

>> Okay, but have you also noticed there

aren't any cars around?

>> So, maybe they're like the Amish, you

know, not into the whole technology

thing.

>> Then how would you explain these tire

tracks?

You want activated slime scan selected.

>> What's that going to tell you? That the

tires are made of rubber.

>> Analyzing data. Sample comprised of a

man-made plastic compound.

>> Wa! Forget the tires. The snow's

plastic. I know. It's freaky, huh?

>> Behind you.

>> How dare you spy on us? I THOUGHT I TOLD

YOU TWO to leave.

>> Last time I checked, it was a free

country. Clifford, besides, what are you

going to do? Stick some Christmas

decorations on us?

>> Way to give the crazy dude ideas,

Martin.

>> How did I know he was going to go all

scrooy on us?

>> Find them now.

Martin, what's happening?

>> I don't know, but it's almost as if

Clifford controls this town.

Huh?

Get them.

>> Look, it's the Gothic Quer told us

about. This must be the way out of here.

Okay, I got to admit I didn't see this

one coming.

Oh my head. What happened? Well, the

last thing I remember, you let us into a

patch of overly friendly Christmas

trees. After that, I'm a little foggy.

And if I had to guess, I'd say Clifford

tied us up.

Oh, great. Now what?

I can't believe I'm actually saying

this, but it looks like we're on a

conveyor belt headed straight for a

giant mixing blade.

>> Nuts, candied fruit. We're about to be

turned into a fruit cake.

>> I guess that explains why it always

tastes so bad.

>> Something tells me we've just found the

missing motorists. That's right. And

this is what happens to all trespassers

because nothing is going to interfere

with my perfect Christmas. NOTHING.

NOW, if you'll excuse me, I've got a

tree trimming ceremony to officiate.

Mystery. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

>> JUST HANG ON, D. I'VE ALMOST GOT IT.

>> You want activated archive selected.

Hurry.

>> Turbo selected.

You okay, D?

>> I'm fine. Thanks to you.

>> Now, let's get out of here before we say

something nice we'll both regret.

What happened? Where are we?

>> Two very good questions. Unfortunately,

your guess is as good as mine.

Huh? Hey, look. A snow globe. Only it's

empty.

>> That's weird. These things are usually

filled with quaint little scenes. You

know, figure skaters, gingerbread

houses, plastic snow.

>> Wait a minute. That's it.

>> What? You think we're trapped in a snow

globe?

>> Not in a snow globe. In a snow globe

world. The crack must have released the

contents.

>> And how exactly do you think that

happened? I don't know, but I'm going to

fire up the Legendex and find out.

>> You want activated. Legend X selected.

>> Aha. A turn of the century legend about

an antique snow globe. The globe will

grant the owner one wish on Christmas

Eve, but the spell can no longer be

broken once the sun rises on Christmas

Day. Lifford must have wished for a

perfect Christmas, and now we're trapped

here.

>> That only gives us about 5 hours to

break the spell, or we'll be stuck here

forever.

>> Uh-uh. There's no way I'm going to let

that happen. I'm going to get out of

this nightmare, away from you, and back

on my holiday schedule if it's the last

thing I ever do.

>> It just might be.

H I guess the fish aren't fighting

tonight. Shh.

>> Fish no like noise.

Shh.

>> What Java say?

>> It's a call for Morton and Diana. Hm. I

wonder what they want. Hello,

>> Billy. We need help. We're trapped in A

STRANGE CHRISTMAS VILLAGE AND WE CAN'T

GET OUT. HELP.

>> DIANA. DIANA, are you still there?

According to the GPS on my computer,

they're not far from here.

>> Let's motor.

NOTHING IS GOING TO RUIN MY PERFECT

CHRISTMAS.

>> Looks like you were right, Martin.

Clifford does control this town.

>> Then something tells me he doesn't want

us to break the spell.

>> I think it's time to bolt.

>> Now,

time to take them out with a song.

look car.

>> They can't be far now.

Now to finish them off.

>> Watch out.

>> I got to be honest. I never thought I'd

go this way.

Am I ever glad to see you two, but I'm

sorry we brought you into this.

>> Not as sorry as I am.

>> Watch out.

>> Thanks. Now, let's get out of here.

>> We can't because we're stuck in a

magical evil snow globe world. And the

clock's ticking. We've only got 1 hour

until sunrise. Then we become permanent

residents of this hellacious holiday

postal code.

>> Have you tried restoring the snow globe

to its original state? Think that'll

work? I have absolutely no idea, but

it's worth a shot.

Jama.

>> Great thinking, John.

>> Careful, Jaw. It hardens like cement.

>> Nice move, Java. Now we've got to

restore the snow globe.

>> Maybe there's an incantation in the

Legend X.

>> No time.

>> Hey, we can use the gift mom gave us.

>> Good idea.

Martin, it's working.

>> Yeah, but it's working too well.

Oh, no.

That was close. Thanks, J.

>> Java the motorist.

>> GRAB JAVA.

HANG ON.

>> MAN, am I ever glad that's over.

Whoa. What was that for?

>> Guess I was just in the mood for a

spontaneous holiday hug.

>> Hey, I kind of like this. Maybe we

should schedule these more often.

>> Well, it's officially Christmas morning

and that means Job and I have some fish

to catch. Ready, Job?

>> Mhm. Christmas fishing.

Can I offer either of you a lift?

>> Thanks, Mom. But D and I are going home

together for Christmas. I can't wait to

see what other holiday treats she's got

planned in that daytimer of hers.

>> The only thing I've got planned is you,

me, and a week of fun.

>> Yeah, right.

>> Yeah, right.

>> Actually, Martin and I have decided to

give each other a little space once we

get home. Absence makes the heart grow

fonder. Right, Martin?

>> Uh,

right now let's get out of here. We're

on vacation. Merry Christmas, everyone.

>> Yes. Happy holidays

>> to you, too, Clippard.

It's rich, sweet, and absolutely nuts.

It only comes but once a year. The

Jubilee Roll from Friendly.

Just order any of our classic burgers.

And we'll make you a Jubilee Sunday

free.

or buy a whole Jubilee roll and enjoy

our Nutcracker suite at home.

When you have a taste for the holidays,

you want a soft drink that tastes like

the holidays.

You want the crisp, clean choice that's

everyone's favorite ice breaker. 7 Up

the Uncola

because you never know who might drop

in.

>> Stop by the winter wonderland for

holiday savings on all 7 products.

>> And make the season bright.

>> The Jenkins have a Nestle Toll House

Christmas.

>> I love baking cookies at Christmas.

>> Don't forget the Nestle Toll House

morsels.

>> Santa,

>> use rich creamy morsels and get the

world's best tasting cookie. Rich,

creamy Nestle Toll House morsels this

Christmas. Make your house a toll house.

A Christmas fantasy even I could love

with a little help from Canadian Tire.

>> If I were in charge of Christmas, I have

a special pass to the front of the Santa

line, who by the way would let me take

his sleigh out anytime I want. And the

naughty list history. So when I win best

kid of the year award, my Christmas

present is a shopping spree for me and

my sister in the toy department at

Canadian Tire.

>> For the best toy this Christmas, come to

the right place. Canadian Tire where you

can get like Santa and save him like

Scrooge.

>> Ho ho ho. Got something free to hang on

your tree.

>> Sugar Bear holiday ornament.

>> Cool.

>> Free in every specially marked box of

Golden Crisp.

>> Speak stylish and now one of the best

values in America. Yes, for a limited

time, buy the Super NES Super Set and

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>> Mario. You'll find the Super Setters

like no other system ever. In

performance, handling, and mode, seven

control, you'll get Super Mario World.

And for 350 in postage, Super Mario

Allstars free with four Mario games in

one.

>> So, stop by your Nintendo dealer today.

>> Superintendent.

>> Man, I just had the weirdest dream. I

was sleeping when my bed started to

move.

>> Wa! There was two kids. He was huge. I

thought you might be hungry for the

dreamy part of this complete breakfast.

>> Kellogg's Froot Loops. All right,

>> may I pour?

>> But he didn't stop. That's okay. I had a

spoon. I was digging the orange, lemon,

lime, and cherry flavor when suddenly

there was big food everywhere. Then two

can bail.

>> Catch you later.

>> Oh no.

>> Aren't dreams weird? Yes.

Transformers

holding meets the eye.

Transformers

robots in disguise. Auto the battle to

destroy the evil forces of the house.

Hey, Prime. How come you're still

patrolling? Everyone's back at the plant

and ready to party.

>> It's Soundwave. I see him everywhere I

look.

>> The interactive Soundwave toy S. He

dances. He does it all. And he can still

be delivered just in time for that last

minute gift. Oh, we have another caller.

>> That toy rightfully belongs to me, pal.

You are a tearing crook.

>> And a merry Christmas to you, too,

Professor Sund. But I acquired this

toyy's patents fair and square when I

owned your company. Now I'm sharing

Soundwave with the entire world for only

1999 each.

>> 1999? How does he do it?

>> Huh?

>> Prime. I knocked Soundwave into a

million pieces. Remember? He can't hurt

us now.

>> Yeah. Come on home. Sorry. Showing us

how to celebrate the holiday season in

style.

>> Tell him we're making oil.

>> Oil nogog? I'm afraid to ask. Huh?

Okay,

maybe I just have soundwave on the

processor.

What do you think we got?

>> We can find out if we run up to

Ratchet's X-ray scanner.

>> Only if you want to end up on Santa's

naughty list. Put him back under the

tree and come help me decorate.

>> Busted.

>> Yeah. Okay.

And I'm telling you, there's no way this

Santa Claus could deliver billions of

presents in one night.

>> I can think of at least one way. Home.

>> A sound theory, Prowl. I did see

multiple Santaas in the shopping

district tonight.

>> Don't try to explain the magic.

Just accept the holiday season as a time

when dreams come true. It's also a time

to be thankful for the things you have

like family.

>> To family then.

>> Cheers to family.

>> Whoa. What's in this stuff anyway?

>> I don't know, but my processor is pretty

fuzzy.

Ah, yeah. It sure got me ready for a

stasis nap.

>> And me as well.

>> What? No waiting up for Santa. You guys

are a bunch of party poopers.

>> There's still tomorrow. Sorry. Oh, and

uh yeah, merry uh merry Christmas.

>> Merry Christmas, big guy. And pleasant

dreams.

Huh? Something doesn't feel right.

My hands.

I the boss spark

>> Prime. Look at you. YOU'RE HIDEOUS.

>> WE'RE ALL HIDEOUS. We're

people

>> AND YOU'RE SO SMALL.

>> KNOCK IT OFF. I'M bigger than you.

>> There must be a rational explanation for

this.

There is no rational explanation. WE'VE

BECOME 100% HUMAN. Where's Prowl?

>> He's not in his room. I checked.

>> PROW.

HEY, there's no anti-lock brakes on

these servos.

>> I think the humans call them legs.

>> Come on, buddy.

>> It's something I'd always imagined, even

dreamt I'd experience. And yet,

something isn't quite right.

>> Yeah, us.

>> Perhaps our minds have been implanted

into these human forms.

So, what happened to our Autobot bodies?

>> Good question. I've tried to contact

Sorry, but there's no answer. We need to

get to Sundak Tower. Auto uh men

transform or uh roll. Uh uh let's let's

just go.

>> A soundwave toy

>> to replace the one that tried to take

over the world.

>> Dad, that thing tried to kill me.

>> Ah, but this is an action figure

assembled in China, not by Megatron.

Dad, you're just putting money into

Powell's pocket.

>> But he sings and dances. Anyway, you

still have one more present.

>> Thanks, Dad. But I was kind of hoping

for something with four wheels.

>> Who needs wheels?

Cool. Bubble be so jealous.

Thank you, Daddy.

>> Shy, be careful.

I need some antifreeze.

How do humans survive in these soft,

fleshy bodies?

>> I don't know, but my fuel tank's making

a funny noise.

>> Perhaps our human bodies need some

refueling.

>> Yeah, I always wanted to chow down.

Hey, how come your fuel is different

than ours?

>> I chose the vegetable fuel because it

burns cleaner. Don't you know where that

animal flesh comes from?

>> No, BUT I KNOW WHERE IT'S GOING.

>> HALF OF IT'S going on your clothes.

>> I think I got some KIND OF MALFUNCTION

HERE. OH BOY.

UH, RATCHET, you're the doctor. Maybe

you should check on him.

>> NO, NO, I AM NOT GOING IN THERE.

>> HERE I am.

Peekaboo. I'm over here.

>> You think she'd be laughing if you were

a giant robot?

>> That's the point. Being human gives me a

better sense of what this holiday season

means. I'm thankful for just being alive

in any form.

>> I'm thankful too, let me tell you.

>> Wasn't me.

>> So much for a happy holiday.

Attack.

We got to do something

>> like what? Help.

Please help me.

>> We don't need to be Autobots to help.

Let's go.

Bumblebee Bulkhead, suppress that fire.

>> Mommy, help me. Mommy.

My son, he's upstairs.

>> Did you see that?

>> No way. Mommy,

>> how' you do that?

>> I'm I'm not certain.

Foolish organics. You scramble to

survive, but your doom is sealed.

Come on. You guys can't still be

sleeping. It's Christmas.

Hello

guys. Cute girl with jetpack is here.

Hey, you guys better not be messing with

me.

Nice try. But you can't hide your energy

signatures,

which are coming from right here.

All right, enough hideand-seek. I'm

going home. Hear me? I'm going home.

Fine, guys. Don't spend Christmas Day

with me.

Run, Robo, Father, run for all the

painful you.

>> Oh, bad idea.

YOU DARE TOUCH ME?

>> PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN size now.

>> Infantle. Get off.

>> You pathetic fool.

>> It's It's my leg. Ratchet. I think it's

broken.

>> Prime. Ratchet. I thought I recognized

those voices.

You've been living WITH THESE PATHETIC

ORGANICS FOR SO LONG. You've become

them. It will be a simple matter to

crush you out of existence right now.

Where did you go? I can't tell the

difference between one insignificant

human and the next.

Oh well, no matter. There's much more

Decepticon fun to come. Ow.

>> This doesn't bode well for us or the

city.

>> I don't know what Starscream's up to,

but we've got to stop it.

>> How? He couldn't even scratch his paint.

>> Oh, in these human bodies. What chance

do we have?

>> There's always a chance. We have to

reach SDK tower. We might not be able to

fight as Autobots, but Sundak has

technology we can use as weapons against

the Decepticons.

>> How are we going to get there?

>> Desperate times call for desperate

measures.

>> YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T SO BAD. USUALLY, we

do the driving.

Not a creature was stirring. Not even a

Creepy robot bird.

Stable toys. Prime was right.

No, it's impossible.

And yet there it is. Cybertron.

Huh?

A fullscale Decepticon invasion.

We are so scratched.

>> Bow before Megatron. Now that I am Lord

of Cybertron, I return to Earth to

exterminate organics. once and for all.

>> Especially those machines who have

chosen to become organics.

>> Why would the Autobots choose to be

human?

>> Not for the FASHION SENSE. I CAN TELL

YOU THAT.

>> WHO CARES? I WILL CRUSH THEM INTO HUMAN

LEIS.

>> NO, destroy them last

so they can watch their pitiful adopted

world perish before their eyes. This

can't be happening.

>> You're right, Bulkhead.

>> It can't be happening.

>> Isn't your leg broken?

>> No. His leg was never broken because his

leg isn't real. None of this is real.

>> Is this real enough for you?

>> Do your worst.

No, no,

>> LEAVE HIM ALONE. LET'S GO.

>> LET'S GO.

>> OH, LOOK. I HAVE A HOLE IN MY ROCKET.

>> Got to be faster than that.

Stand

possible.

You're finished, Megatron.

>> I will never surrender to a human.

>> I don't think we're in Detroit anymore.

>> Well, then where are we?

>> Our bodies are not here, but our minds

are here. in some kind of virtual

reality.

>> This place has a basement. Thanks for

telling me, guys.

I know you're home, and I also know

something creepy's going on. Time to

find out what

the Autobots have decoded my virtual

illusion. I must accelerate their

reprogramming.

>> Soundwave reprogramming my friends. No

way. You overgrown boom box.

So, if we're in some kind of virtual

reality, how do we get out of here?

>> Yeah. And out of these little bone bags

and back into our big bot buddies.

>> I suspect that regaining our true form

will be the beginning of our escape. You

only have to think it. If you believe it

here, you can make it so. Autobots,

transform.

Hey, we're back.

>> Not all of us.

>> It might help you if you make the noise

with your mouth like this.

>> Sounds silly, but okay.

Now it should be a simple matter to will

ourselves free of this trap.

>> Escape is impossible or inferior.

Somewhere superior.

Useless flashlight. Your domination

commencing now.

Razor beacon deployed. Operation Sonic

attack.

>> I've heard your music, Soundwave. I'm

not impressed.

>> I have upgraded my instrument.

I'll be back for you guys. I promise.

>> Measurement is of no consequence.

initiating the final phase of operation

following.

Soon the Autobots will unite with us.

Soon they will call themselves.

Keep fighting. Remember this is all an

illusion created by Soundwave.

>> Sure feels real to me.

>> Operation Auto Reprogramming near

completion. Autobots will succumb to the

will of sound.

Reprogramming interruption.

Whoa. Don't know my own strength.

>> More likely, there's a weakness in

Soundwave's VR program.

>> Perhaps I can exploit that weakness.

>> Not that processor over matter garbage

again. That trick never works.

Foolish honorable. There is no escape

from sound.

>> Prowl, what happened?

>> I I underestimated Soundwave. A mistake

I won't make twice.

>> Not again.

>> He's regaining control of the virtual

world.

>> COME ON, TRANSFORM ALREADY. DON'T LEAVE

ME STUCK IN this flesh bag.

>> Auto ready will take longer than

anticipated. Further interference must

be prevented. Operation organic control.

I think he finally blew a head gasket.

I don't SEE ANYONE ELSE TRYING TO GET US

OUT OF THIS CRAZY video game.

>> THAT'S because it doesn't work that way.

Most of this is just automated code.

What we need to find is Soundwave's

interface.

>> Huh?

>> Right. Like a visual icon. Something

that suggests Soundwave.

>> You mean like that?

>> AUTOMAN AFTER THAT VEHICLE. HOW in

those?

>> Sorry, Captain. Official business. What?

It's not like the guy's real.

>> Maybe this isn't going to be as easy as

I thought.

>> Dad.

Dad.

Sound please.

I don't have time for your old song and

dance.

The female senic in organic physique

must make her immune to the music. She

cannot be controlled. Therefore, she

must be destroyed.

Dad,

I'm so glad I found you. Soundwave has

the Autobots jacked into some crazy

machine to reprogram them. We have to

help.

Hello, Earth to Dad.

The technoorganic

must be destroyed.

>> Dad, kind of freaking me out here.

You're talking just like Soundwave. He

must have found a way to brainwash

humans, too.

>> The technoorganic

must be destroyed.

This concert is over.

>> The technoorganic

must be destroyed.

>> Dad, listen. Soundwave is controlling

you. You've got to fight it.

>> The technoorganic

must be destroyed.

>> The technoorganic

must be destroyed.

>> Don't come any closer. I I don't want to

hurt you.

>> I'm really sorry about that, Dad.

>> Hey, take it easy, Lefoot. What? It's

not lead anymore.

Virtual Panzone's going to beat it.

>> I have to hand it to the humans. Driving

is much more difficult than it looks.

>> This ain't so hard.

>> It's merely a matter of becoming one

with the machine.

NOW WE'VE GOT him

right where he wants us.

Automan full REVERSE NOW. BUT I WAS JUST

GETTING GOOD AT GOING FORWARD.

resume

will obey.

>> Something tells me I'm going to hate

this movie.

>> Soundwave is your master.

>> Oh, I'm feeling kind of foggy on my

processor. Soundwave is distorting our

core programming. We have to fight his

control.

Intruder. Dinobots destroy puny human.

>> Wait, I came here for your help.

>> Dinobots not help puny human. Dinobots

destroy puny human.

Okay. Grimlock not destroyed puny human,

but Dinobots not helped puny human

either.

>> Hey, weren't there three of you? Where's

the other one?

>> Me. Grimlock not talking to him. Him.

Traitor. Dinobots, not pets.

>> Who would want a Dinobot for a pet?

>> Day 48.

Still separated from my colle

my buds, I have befriended and trained

one of the local wildlife.

>> Ah, not again.

>> Scrapper, I need your help.

>> Forget about it. I already got a pet.

SNARL, COME ON, BOY. COME ON, SNAR.

>> SNARL? Who's Snarl?

Whoa.

You named him Snarl.

>> Well, I was going to call him Slag, but

I think he took it as an insult. So, you

ain't seen Mixmaster and Dirt Boss

around, have you?

>> No, but I have a job for you and your um

pet.

>> Job? Huh? I don't know. Sounds too much

like work to me. I'm a free spirit now.

There could be a few truckloads of

premium grade motor oil in it for you.

>> Look, kid, even if I wanted to help you,

we're stuck on this island. So, uh, what

are you going to do?

>> You're a construct. Why don't you just

construct a boat?

>> Constructed? Hey, now. Why did I think

of that?

Once we land, we'll need to head right

to where Soundwave is holding the

Autobots.

>> Whoa, whoa, whoa. I never said we'd help

you.

>> What?

>> Yeah, once we hit shore, me and the big

fella might head up north. I hear

there's good oil country up there.

>> Listen up, oil brain. My family needs

your help, and you are going to help get

me.

>> So, whether you like it or not, you're

going to be a hero.

>> Did someone say hero?

I am Regar. I am a hero.

>> You've got to be pulling my leg.

>> Okay, I've got to be pulling your leg. I

AM RATGAR, THE LEG PULLING HERO.

>> Who is this junk head?

>> Would you believe the newest member of

the Substitute Autobots?

All right, Substitute Autobots,

transform and roll out.

>> Transform. WHAT A GOOD IDEA.

ARE YOU SNAR

>> HEY, wait for me. I'm your leader.

>> You guys can't just go running off like

that without a plan. Right now, we have

the advantage. We have Soundwave

outnumbered, and we have the element of

surprise.

I am sound wave. Resistance is futile.

>> So much for the element of surprise.

>> Substitute Autobots. Transform and

attack.

Man, am I happy to see you guys. I

actually thought I was going to have to

lead these losers into battle.

>> The Technoorganic must be destroyed.

>> Looks like

the Technoorganic must be destroyed.

>> Scrapper, US and SN take Bulchead and

Ratchet. Revg guard, you're with me.

>> Gosh, this is so sudden. Aren't we a

little young to go steady?

>> Guys, it's me. Sorry. I know you guys

don't want to hurt me. You have to tune

out Soundwave's music.

>> The Autobots will not be swayed by human

emotions. Their reprogramming is

complete. Destroy them all.

>> Cover me.

>> YOU GOT IT.

LET'S SEE. THERE MUST be something

heroic in here.

On guard, Monsour.

The technoorganic must be destroyed. Oh,

okay.

>> HEY, HEROES DON'T ATTACK THEIR

TEAMMATES,

>> RIGHT? I am Reckar. I'm a hero. Try to

keep that straight, will you?

>> With heroes like that, who needs

Decepticons?

I didn't mean it literally.

>> Take that and that and that. Let it

snow. LET IT SNOW. LET IT SNOW.

>> Hey boy.

>> Resistance is futile. Human sound wave

rules all machines including your gents

kicked. They work much better as a team

and they're mindless zombies.

>> That's cuz just one bot's controlling

them all.

That's it. We've got to divide up.

Attack on your own.

>> But then you just tell us work together.

>> Don't you hate it when somebody can't

make up their mind?

>> Just do it.

It's working. He can't control all of

them at once.

Bulky boy. Time to put you on ice.

Haha. Catchy, easy to dance to, but you

know what it needs.

Everyone's a critic.

>> That's weird. Why didn't he slap me when

he had the chance?

>> Wreck the bot with strings of garbage.

La,

>> I can't believe I'm saying this, but you

guys are beating the Autobots.

>> Not bad for a bunch of losers, HUH?

>> Your strategy is flawed, human. I can

now focus all control on Optimus Prime.

HEY, HEY, HEY. THAT IS CRUELTY TO

DINOBOTS.

THIS. But

>> the mighty Regar is no match for the

mighty Reckgar.

Wait, whose side am I on again?

>> The technoorganic must be destroyed.

Destroy the techno organic. Destroy.

Destroy. Destroy.

>> Sorry. No.

>> Okay, that was way too close.

And you, you big faker. I knew something

was up.

>> I wasn't just faking. It took a great

deal of processor over matter to resist

sound waves control.

>> You all day for this deception. Random

boy

destruction.

>> Okay. Didn't see that one coming.

Your axe is useless a lot,

>> but yours isn't.

Away.

Time to change your tune. Soundwave

operation. Face the music.

will be so brave.

It's supposed to be a silent night.

>> I'm ruined. I'll have TO REFUND EVERY

LAST PENNY.

>> And you can start by refunding mine.

>> Well, I sure am glad that's over.

>> Oh, tell me about it. This hero stuff is

too much work and there's no overtime.

You never told me there was no overtime.

I'm going back to Dinobot Island for a

long vacation.

>> ARE you snow?

>> I should have got a kitty cat.

>> Um, weren't there three under your

command?

>> Never fear. Ricky the hero will clean up

this town.

>> I guess the substitute Autobots are now

officially disbanded.

>> And not a minute too soon.

That leader stuff really takes it out of

you. I don't know how you do it.

>> Honestly, sorry. We never realized how

difficult it is to be human either.

>> Ironic though, the technology led us to

a greater understanding of what it means

to be organic.

>> Sounds as if you miss being human.

A wise organic once said, "We should be

thankful for the things we have."

>> Like family.

>> Like family.

>> HO HO HO. MERRY CHRISTMAS. Garbage for

all the good little children.

Heat.

Heat.

Heat. Heat.

Heat. Heat.