Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

Hey, well, thank you for coming in.

I'm sure we'll be talking to you soon.

Well, I think we found our new director of marketing.

That egghead?

Please. He kept asking about the 401 K.

We get it. You're a runner.

Plus he was so boring.

You are impossible.

This is a really important job.

I mean, what are you looking for?

Excuse me, can you guys tell me

where I can find Arnold undergarments?

- You're in it. - Oh, sweet.

Are you here for the job?

I sure am, Charlie Selleck.

Farrah Arnold, this is my sister, Mitchee.

Mitchee? That's a dude's name.

So, Charlie, do you have a resume?

Oh, I got it all up here.

Okay. Um, so where are you from?

Like, here's the deal. I'm not really a corporate guy.

Actually, I used to be an underwear model.

- Really? - Yeah. Look.

Look familiar?

Uh, no.

[gasps] Totally.

I used to be an underwear model too.

Look familiar?

No.

Oh, yeah.

- You know, I love your work. - No, yours is genius.

Okay, obviously, you're both geniuses.

So, uh, Charlie, do you have any experience in marketing?

Uh, yeah. You know, got a little bit.

I usually pick up some, some beer detergent and..

[laughs]

No, I, I got none.

But I'll tell you what I do have, I got ideas.

I mean, my head is full of them, I just..

What?

Well, see, my brother is so

super smart and successful.

But me, everyone just thinks I get by on my good looks.

Why are people so mean to the hot?

Yeah, I know right?

I mean, deep down, I feel like

I've got so much more to offer.

All I need is somebody to give me a chance

to prove I'm not just a pretty face.

Well, thanks for coming in. Good luck with everything.

Well, I think we found our new director of marketing.

Are you kidding?

I'm serious. Mitchee, I really liked him.

- Charlie. - Well, hey.

So how did I do?

Okay, how do I put this?

Ah, damn. My brother's right.

No one will ever take me seriously.

I'm just another smoking piece of ass.

No. You know what? You tell your brother you got the job.

- Really? - You're hired.

Why are you whispering?

I want Mitchee to be surprised.

Oh. Alright.

Who's Mitchee?

[theme song]

? Oh sister sister hey sister ?

? Come on let's rock the boat ?

? When you're tryin' to be on the ground ?

? Now let's all cheero ?

? Whoa-oh-oh-oh! ?

? Whoa-oh-oh-oh! ?

? Oh hey, sister, don't you wanna rock the boat? ?

? Whoa-oh-oh-oh! ??

[instrumental music]

Hello, Lee.

Oh, Dolly. Just who I was looking for.

You know what this is?

Probably a man holding a drawer

trying to make a point I don't want to hear.

Did she get it?

No. Lee.

Dolly, this is my underwear drawer. But look..

Empty. No clean underwear in it. What am I supposed to do?

Go commando.

Oh, no, he can't do that.

He tried it once and he got a terrible rash.

Remember, Alan?

And you had to sleep with my cold eye mask around your-

Yes. Thank you, Lee for that trip down memory lane.

The point is, why don't I have clean underwear, Dolly?

Alan, leave her alone. She's going through a hard time.

Yes, nine to five usually is a hard time for her.

No, she's having trouble with Mack.

- Who's Mack? - My boyfriend.

He used to be so loving.

Now, suddenly, for no reason, he's turned cold on me.

That doesn't make any sense.

You have a boyfriend?

Alan, Dolly and Mack have been together for years.

They're like Siegfried and Roy, only black.

And a man and a woman.

And neither one of them has had their head

bitten open by a tiger.

I'm just not myself. I got to go lie down.

Why don't you go get in our bed?

Alan will bring you up some hot cocoa.

Lee, I am not bringing her hot cocoa.

(Dolly) 'Don't skimp on the marshmallows.'

She is the worst maid in the world.

Alan, she is a woman in pain.

Not our problem. She's an employee.

We pay her to do a job, not to mope

about her love life and sleep in our bed.

Oh, and run up there and put on some clean sheets.

Are you insane?

No, I just care about her.

I mean, how can you be so cold hearted?

It is not my heart that is cold right now, Lee.

I am not wearing any underwear.

[instrumental music]

Farrah, I have a question.

Why is that guy, Charlie

we just interviewed still in the kitchen.

And why did he ask me if the company medical plan

covers getting tattoos?

Okay, well..

Farrah, I just got to say again

I am so psyched to have this gig.

- You hired him? - Yeah.

Yeah, but, don't tell Mitchee.

Okay. Uh, Charlie, would you excuse us for a sec?

Yeah, sure. I'll just go throw some quarters in my meter.

I didn't think I'd be here this long.

Surprise.

What the hell were you thinking?

I'm telling you, Mitchee, there was something about him

I really responded to.

Yeah, of course you responded to him.

He's a vapid underwear model.

Okay, who cares how fast he can run?

Look, Mitchee, I'm telling you, I have a hunch about this guy.

Yeah, we've trusted your hunches in the past.

Remember the electric heated bra complete with extension cord?

Okay. The Tata toaster was genius.

And so was hiring Charlie. He's going to be great.

Farrah, for the first time

we are expanding into men's underwear.

We're launching a huge campaign

and you just handed the wheel over to a guy

whose main qualification is that he can do this.

Okay. Without proper training, you just look stupid.

Look, I'm going to have Charlie put together

a bunch of ideas for the new campaign

and you're going to be apologizing

for ever having doubted him.

Wow.

If I was a chick with cold boobs

I would totally buy this.

[instrumental music]

Okay, people, it's not that I'm a prude

but was it really necessary to give the honey bear a penis?

Hey, Mitch, what are you doing?

Just making some tea and wishing you never hired that idiot.

Okay, your attitude about Charlie

is getting a little insulting.

I have an instinct about him.

I'm president of the company, too

and I deserve to be taken seriously.

Oh, you saw what I did to the honey bear.

So Paula in Human Resources told me the good news.

We finally found a marketing director.

- Yes. It's true. - Well, not a moment too soon.

And I can't wait to meet the person that

three months of exhaustive searching has turned up.

I pulled the plug a half hour ago. It's still warm.

Daddy, this is Charlie, our new director of marketing.

Well, hi, Charlie. Alan Arnold, welcome aboard.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, no way the bear's sporting wood.

[laughing] That's genius.

'God, I love this job.'

I'm almost as excited as this honey bear.

Well, he's not what I expected.

I know we hired outside the box.

Well, maybe you should check the box one more time.

You know what? I don't care what anyone thinks.

If we just give Charlie a chance I know he's going to be great.

Well, just tell me one thing. What do you see in this guy?

I see myself, okay?

Someone who wants to prove to all the people

who don't believe in them that they're wrong.

- Should I be worried? - That's my plan.

Honey. Dolly's on her way over.

Oh, so the good news is she's out of our bed.

Oh, be nice. Mack broke up with her, and she's miserable.

Lee, how many times do I have to tell you?

That is none of our concern.

We are her employers, not her family.

In fact, the next time I see her

it will be a lot sooner than I thought.

Lee, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Dolly, I'm so sorry.

I can't believe it's over.

Say something, Alan.

Oh. No more ball and chain, huh?

Up high.

[weeping]

[instrumental music]

- Hey, Charlie. How's it going? - Oh, great.

Yeah. Come up with anything yet?

Sure did. You want to see?

Rubber band ball.

You ever seen one that big?

No. Yours is the biggest.

Oh, really?

No, that's just my standard reply.

How's it going with the ideas?

- It's great. - Yeah. Can I see?

Sure. Viola!

[giggles]

- Where's the rest of it? - Oh. That's it.

This just says manties.

Yeah, man-panties. Manties.

Charlie, this can't be all you've got.

You're making a presentation tomorrow.

- This is our big chance. - What do you mean?

You're gonna be brilliant and we're gonna prove to everyone

that we're not just pretty faces.

So I'm not sure. Was it..

Was it thumbs up or down on manties?

Oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God.

Hey, you two. How's it going?

Great. Now get out.

Can I just see some of the ideas-

Before the presentation? That's bad luck. Now go.

Can I at least get a rubber band for my desk?

Here. bye.

Oh, Charlie, what are we going to do?

Wait, wait. Don't panic.

I got something else.

- Really? What? - Oh, wait.

Did I already say manties?

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

What's going on?

We're working on your presentation.

Oh, right. Uh, how long was I out?

Seven hours.

Should I go get us some breakfast?

- Good idea. - Huh?

There's another one. They just keep coming to me.

[instrumental music]

Alan, you have to pick up dinner tonight.

Dolly's too depressed to cook.

You know, Lee, just because she's depressed

doesn't mean she can't work.

Mitchee's always depressed and she still comes in every day.

Alright, I'll tell Dolly that she has to come in.

But after she cooks, you have to rub her feet

like Mac used to do.

I'll pick up some seafood.

Hey, what you reading?

Oh, just this trashy magazine I got at the supermarket.

Oh, man. Not those two again.

Don't people ever get tired of reading about celebrity couples?

Nope.

[instrumental music]

See, most dudes don't like to look at other dudes

in their skivvies.

So I'm thinking that 90% of our ads

feature sexy women wearing men's underwear.

Now, why not 100%?

Well, because 10% of dudes do like

to look at other dudes in their skivvies.

[laughs] If you know what I mean.

And I think you know exactly what I mean.

Now let's talk slogans.

[thinking] Oh, God, are they buying this? Please let them like it.

(Charlie) 'I need a memorable phrase that says we're hip..'

[thinking] I like it.

I can't wait till he finishes

so I can tell him out loud.

[thinking] These ideas are really good.

Why didn't I think of them?

Because you're stupid, that's why.

Wait. Remember what Doctor Lieb said.

You're good and you deserve good things.

And everyone meets someone eventually.

(Charlie) 'Now, I know what you're thinking..'

[thinking] Which ones can't fly?

Pelicans or penguins?

[thinking] What makes him think I'm gay?

Oh, maybe he likes me.

And that is how we're going to kick some ass

in the men's underwear market.

[applause]

I like it. No, I love it.

- Me too. - You do? Oh, I'm so glad.

Uh, anyone have any questions?

I've got one.

How do penguins get where they need to go?

[instrumental music]

- Arnold for takeout. - Just a sec.

- It'll be ten minutes. - Oh, God.

[sighs]

Hey, Dolly.

Hello, Alan.

Just here picking up a little takeout.

- 'Mm.' - So, what have you got there?

Driftnet platter.

Twenty-three kinds of battered seafood

wrapped around an onion log.

Wouldn't it be faster just to stab yourself?

I probably should.

What is there to live for without Mack.

Striving to do an adequate job?

I want him back, Alan. I just don't know what to do.

Well, for what it's worth..

...I had a girlfriend when I was in college

who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

Then one day, without a word, she packed up

and moved across the country.

Wait, that doesn't make any sense.

You had a girlfriend?

Touch�.

Take it from me, Dolly, when someone wants out

there's nothing you can do about it.

You're better off just to move on.

I didn't mean with me.

Mack just came in. Let's show him I moved on.

Oh, I don't think that-

Dolly?

Mm, that's good stuff.

- Who's this? - What do you care?

Oh, hi. Uh, Alan Arnold.

Honey, for dessert, I think we should have

master and commander, far side of the cheesecake.

What? That's our dessert.

We're the only two people to ever finish it.

We have a plaque on the wall.

But we are not a couple anymore.

But we are. Right, Pookie?

Pookie?

I'm Pookie.

I'm fine with that. I-I-I won't be Pookie.

You'll be Pookie. Hi, Pookie.

- Get up. - Oh, no. I'm fine.

- I'm comfortable. - Now.

I could just stretch my legs.

Oh, yes, baby, you can take him.

Oh! Take him. Oh, no.

I'm sure he just wants to talk. Right?

You and me are gonna go round and round.

He's not so tough, Alan. Just use your quickness.

Good idea. Look.

- Arnold. - Deliver it.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

I'm so sick of those two.

[Alan panting]

Honey, what's going on?

[panting continues]

First of all..

...I want to apologize. I frenched Dolly.

Is that why you're all sweaty?

No, that's because I spent the last 45 minutes

running home from the restaurant.

- But it's only a mile away. - I'm not a kid, okay?

Why were you running?

I pretended to be Dolly's boyfriend

so Mack would be jealous.

And he was going to kill me.

Well, here he comes now.

For God's sake, whatever you do, do not open that door.

[keys jingle]

She has a key.

Lee, Alan.

We just came by to tell you that we're back together.

Oh. I am so happy for you.

Yeah, when Mack saw me with another man

he realized what he was missing.

Mm, and I just can't quit you, baby.

But, Alan, if I'm going to continue to work here

you're going to have to keep your hands off me.

If I can't, will you find another job?

Alan!

Okay. I promise.

I'll be watching you.

Let's go, precious.

[chuckles]

That is so sweet. You did help her.

Well, whether I like it or not Dolly's been with us for so long

she's more than just an employee.

That's right. She's part of the family.

Really, Alan, 45 minutes to run a mile?

Well, truth be told, I took a cab part of the way.

[instrumental music]

- Hi. - Hey.

Listen, I was totally wrong to ever doubt you.

Charlie is awesome.

Oh, well, maybe next time there's a job you'll think twice

before discriminating against the hot.

Charlie, again, awesome job yesterday.

Oh, thanks. On what?

Your presentation.

I-I'm really looking forward

to seeing you put your ideas into motion.

Yeah. Uh, listen, about those ideas-

- Charlie. - No, no.

- None of them were mine. - What?

No Farrah did everything.

Look, I'm-I'm sorry. I'm just..

I'm not cut out to be the director of shopping.

- Marketing. - Or that.

Oh, my brother's right.

I'll never be anything but a good looking screw up.

[door opens]

Don't say it.

I know you're thinking the same thing about me.

Wait, it was really all your ideas?

Yeah, well, what was I supposed to do?

I mean, he fell asleep while he was working

on the presentation.

No, I mean, they were fantastic.

Mitchee, don't try to make me feel better.

I'm not. Doctor Lieb says that's not my job.

Farrah, there is a huge difference

between you and Charlie.

Yeah. You're right.

Do you want me to tell you what it is?

Yes, please.

When it was crunch time, he had nothing

and you totally came through.

I mean, look, these ideas are great.

They are pretty great, aren't they?

Hey, you know what?

You should be the new director of marketing.

Are you serious?

I mean, only if you want to.

Oh, my God, I would love to.

[chuckles] Thank you, Mitchee.

Oh. I feel kind of bad for Charlie, though.

He's such a good guy. I wish we had a job for him.

Yeah, but let's face it. What is he possibly qualified to do?

Okay. You can go to lunch now.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0