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1
00:00:04,304 --> 00:00:06,272
Dude, I know you don't work here.
2
00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:14,781
And you two, how many times
are you gonna fall for that?
3
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:19,519
At least this time I caught it before the waxing.
4
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:22,088
- How are you doing? - Fine. Busy.
5
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:23,822
Atta girl, throw yourself into your work.
6
00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:26,525
Take yourself out of the whole
breaking up with Jordan thing.
7
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:30,163
- What are you working
on? - Uh, year-end reports.
8
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,332
So we're calling our year-end report
9
00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:35,301
"Mitchee and Jordan, the
story of what could have been?"
10
00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:39,472
It's not really a year-end report.
11
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,609
Good. Mitchee, you gotta
get your mind off Jordan.
12
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,243
Tonight me and my friends
are going to Spider Lounge.
13
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,544
- You're coming with. - I don't know.
14
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:46,979
- It's not really my scene. - Tsk.
15
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,649
Mitchee, you don't have a scene.
16
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,917
Come on, you gotta get yourself out of your funk.
17
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:54,621
- I like my funk. - No, you gotta fight the funk.
18
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:58,825
- Come out with us. - I don't think so.
19
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:02,729
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Come on. Come on, come on.
20
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,963
You're gonna keep saying
that until I say yes, aren't you?
21
00:01:04,964 --> 00:01:08,168
Come on, come on, come on. Come on, come on.
22
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,370
- Come on. Come on. - Okay, okay. I'll go.
23
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,806
Oh! I was one away from giving up.
24
00:01:12,872 --> 00:01:14,007
[theme song]
25
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,976
? Oh sister sister hey sister ?
26
00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:19,779
? Come on let's rock the boat ?
27
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:22,115
? When you try to be on the ground ?
28
00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:23,483
? Let's all cheero ?
29
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,418
? Whoa-oh-oh-oh ?
30
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:28,855
? Whoa-oh-oh-oh ?
31
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,356
? Oh let's head to dock ?
32
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,926
? You wanna rock the boat ?
33
00:01:32,992 --> 00:01:35,161
? Whoa-oh-oh-oh ??
34
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:39,099
[instrumental music]
35
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:41,401
Lee, Farrah, I've got great news.
36
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,235
It turns out my sister's going to be able to
37
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:44,496
join us for Thanksgiving.
38
00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:46,873
- Oh. - Oh, no.
39
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:50,910
I know. I'm excited too.
40
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:56,182
Dad, no offense, but Aunt Judy
is a complete and utter bummer.
41
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:58,585
- Farrah. - Yes, honey, just think it.
42
00:01:58,651 --> 00:01:59,701
Don't say it.
43
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:06,025
Okay, fine. So Judy is
not exactly a ray of sunshine.
44
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:08,428
But she's family, and it's not her fault she's..
45
00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:10,797
- A loser? - No.
46
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,333
A droopy sad sack?
47
00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:18,338
A sucking black hole
from which no fun can escape?
48
00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:19,772
Okay, let's go with loser.
49
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,610
But keep in mind Judy has never had it easy.
50
00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:26,446
And she's been especially
lonely since her cat died.
51
00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:28,314
It committed suicide.
52
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:31,885
- We don't know that. - Why?
53
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,553
Because we never found a note?
54
00:02:34,557 --> 00:02:38,624
You know, I don't think it's too much to ask
55
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:42,162
that we do our best to keep
Aunt Judy's mind off her misery.
56
00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:44,564
- What's going on? - Aunt Bummer's coming.
57
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:45,681
Oh, crap.
58
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,902
Come on. Give Aunt Judy a chance.
59
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:50,837
- She can be a lot of fun. - Oh, yeah?
60
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,064
Then why did Whiskers take all those pills?
61
00:02:57,277 --> 00:03:00,413
[instrumental music]
62
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:04,684
Dolly, my sister will
be here in less than an hour.
63
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,453
Then I better put out
the tissues and hide the cat.
64
00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:13,693
Stop it. I want everyone to
stay upbeat and positive about Judy.
65
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,764
She must be close. It's starting to rain.
66
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:21,834
Lee, please, we've got to
make her feel good about her life.
67
00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:23,503
That is not your job.
68
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:27,173
No, technically that's the job of her medication.
69
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,640
First of all, it is not your fault
70
00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:30,877
that she is lonely and miserable.
71
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:34,414
Second of all, you are not
responsible for her happiness.
72
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,984
And third, you are not doing
her any favors by babying her.
73
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,321
Lee, I'm her big brother.
If I don't protect her, who will?
74
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:44,357
Not me. She brings me down.
75
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:47,560
[instrumental music]
76
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:51,864
- Whoo! - Whoo!
77
00:03:51,931 --> 00:03:53,366
Mitchee, your turn.
78
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:56,569
Uh, I'm just gonna finish this chapter.
79
00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:58,471
So, what's your book about?
80
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:01,007
Oh, is it about horses?
81
00:04:02,344 --> 00:04:05,377
Sorry, you guys, she's just reading
82
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:06,678
to take her mind off of Jordan.
83
00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:08,748
- Who's Jordan? - Is he cute?
84
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,583
Does he like horses?
85
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,854
Hey, look, there's Colin Farrell.
86
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,990
- Oh my God! - God, I love him!
87
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:22,328
Okay, that is way not cool.
That's not Colin Farrell.
88
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,663
No, behind him.
89
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,465
- Oh my God! - God, I love him!
90
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,570
Okay, two can play this game.
91
00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:34,173
Hey, hey, hey, there's the famous guy nerds like.
92
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,908
- Nice try. - No, behind him.
93
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,913
Come on, Mitchee. Stop being so lame.
94
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:43,715
I'm not. It's just someone's
gotta be the designated driver.
95
00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:46,019
Don't worry about that. Cara's driving.
96
00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:47,654
That makes seven!
97
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:53,026
Okay, we'll take a cab. But just let yourself go.
98
00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:55,728
- I got your back. - I
don't need to let myself go.
99
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,797
I happen to be a very controlled person.
100
00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:59,465
How's that workin' out for ya?
101
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:03,636
- Great. - So, you're happy?
102
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,407
Uh, you know, I-I mean..
103
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,509
Ah, what the hell.
104
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:14,213
- Yeah! - Whoo!
105
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,049
[book thuds]
106
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:17,450
[instrumental music]
107
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:22,989
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah. I can't wait to see you.
108
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,825
Bye-bye. Oh, my God. They
are driving up right now.
109
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:28,227
Lee, you are not gonna believe this.
110
00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:29,962
Judy is bringing a boyfriend.
111
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:32,999
Is this somebody that we can see?
112
00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:38,504
Yes, it's someone we can see.
113
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:41,441
Is it a hostage situation?
114
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:44,877
Oh, alright. Here she is.
115
00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:47,080
[stammering] Now, just act natural.
116
00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:50,750
The last thing I want is for
us to make a big deal out of this.
117
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,486
- Oh, hi. - Alan! Oh.
118
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:56,956
- Lee. - Hi, Judy.
119
00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:02,261
- This is my boyfriend Wally. - Nice to meet you.
120
00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:03,629
You see him too, right?
121
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:12,472
Welcome to our home.
122
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,079
If you're here against your will
123
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,848
just tap your foot.
124
00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:33,126
Okay, this is great, so
drink if you're wearing panties.
125
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:40,666
Uh, or not.
126
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,201
- Whoo! - Whoo!
127
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:48,141
What's that? A smile on your face?
128
00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:50,209
Yep.
129
00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:52,845
You know why? 'Cause you're not reading.
130
00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:57,583
Thanks, Cara. You're such a good friend.
131
00:06:57,650 --> 00:07:02,121
- I love you. - I love you too.
132
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:03,790
You know what I never told you?
133
00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:07,326
When I first met you,
I thought you were an idiot.
134
00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:11,731
Oh, my God. I know. Everybody says that.
135
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:16,469
Hey, you guys, you guys.
Bring it in, bring it in.
136
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,270
So I'm in the bathroom before, right?
137
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,805
And the stall door shuts, so I'm like
138
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,573
"Maybe somebody's in there," right?
139
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:24,277
But then I'm like, "Wait,
maybe nobody's in there."
140
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:26,679
So then I push the door open
141
00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:29,248
and it opens, and somebody's in there.
142
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,684
[laughing]
143
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:37,557
Okay, your first drunken story. A solid C+.
144
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,659
Look, full shot glass.
145
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,560
That guy couldn't hold his liquor. Get it?
146
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:44,530
[chuckles] That's hysterical!
147
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:47,834
Oh, my God. I think I just peed a little.
148
00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:54,841
So how did you two meet?
149
00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:57,243
Oh, Wally tells it better than I do.
150
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,361
Chat room.
151
00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:04,450
- Isn't he great? - Great?
He's better than great.
152
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:05,685
He's here.
153
00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:10,556
- This calls for champagne. - I will get it.
154
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:12,825
And break out the good stuff.
155
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,728
Someone's got a boyfriend and a computer.
156
00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:23,669
[knocking on door]
157
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:26,472
May I have a word with the lady of the house?
158
00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:27,907
Sure, Wally.
159
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:29,876
Did you know that when condors mate
160
00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:31,622
they push their breasts together
161
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,179
and intertwine their necks?
162
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:37,750
[chuckles lightly] Are you into birds?
163
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,151
No, I'm into mating.
164
00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:44,557
- Oh. - And pushing breasts together.
165
00:08:45,758 --> 00:08:47,627
I like birds.
166
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,729
Do you know how porcupines mate?
167
00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:51,230
Very carefully.
168
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:53,232
[laughs]
169
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,668
I'm very careful.
170
00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:59,705
- Wally, are you hitting on me? - Believe it.
171
00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:03,609
Oh, my God. Eww!
172
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:07,046
- So what do you say? - 'Lee!'
173
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,415
Quit hogging Wally. Judy's getting lonely.
174
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,816
Coming, honey.
175
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,819
Guess what Judy just told me?
176
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,856
- She and Wally are registered.
- They're getting married?
177
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:19,090
No, they're registered
to vote in the same county.
178
00:09:19,091 --> 00:09:21,093
It makes him less of a flight risk.
179
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:26,098
- Alan, Wally just hit on me. - What?
180
00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:27,900
He did. He said something about..
181
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,035
I don't know, pushing our breasts together
182
00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:32,738
and condors and a porcupine and..
183
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:34,607
Wally, just hit on you?
184
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:37,710
- Yeah. - Oh, my God. Eww!
185
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:44,383
I'm gonna kill him. Give me that knife block.
186
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:47,286
- Well, you can't stab him.
- Who said I was gonna stab him?
187
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,221
I'm gonna bludgeon him.
188
00:09:49,288 --> 00:09:51,357
If you bludgeoned everybody who hit on me
189
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,694
then we would never get any mail or UPS
190
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,395
'or somebody to fix the cable'
191
00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:59,699
or to teach us tennis, or to clean the aquarium-
192
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,233
- I get your point, Lee. - 'Or..'
193
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,336
- Or to groom the dog. - We don't have a dog.
194
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:05,871
I know, that guy was way out of line.
195
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:12,011
Okay, I'm not gonna bludgeon Wally.
196
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:15,314
Let's just go back in there
and pretend nothing happened.
197
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,414
We can't do that.
198
00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:17,649
Well, make up your mind, Lee.
199
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:19,151
- Pretend or bludgeon? - Nope.
200
00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:22,288
You have to tell Judy
that her boyfriend hit on me.
201
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,391
I can't do that. That would absolutely crush her.
202
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,361
It's not your job to protect her from everything.
203
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:30,029
She deserves to know the truth.
204
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,497
Lee, I resent the fact that
as long as we have been married
205
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:35,401
you have tried to tell me how to deal with Judy.
206
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,108
- I'm just trying to help.
- Well, I don't need your help.
207
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:40,840
She is my sister. And I know what's best for her.
208
00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:42,975
Hey, you guys. How's it going?
209
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,944
Everything's great. Especially
210
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:47,231
your relationship, no reason to question it.
211
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:51,751
This is the best Thanksgiving ever.
212
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,758
Alan, if you don't tell her, I will.
213
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,559
Alright, fine. I'll tell her.
214
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:01,946
First thing in the morning.
215
00:11:01,947 --> 00:11:03,728
Right after I get rid of the aquarium
216
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:06,432
cancel the cable, and
bludgeon the tennis instructor.
217
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,403
[instrumental music]
218
00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:15,341
- Morning. - Please stop yelling.
219
00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:19,912
Thanks for letting me crash on the couch.
220
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:22,848
We got crazy last night, didn't we?
221
00:11:22,915 --> 00:11:24,316
I got a little crazy
222
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:27,153
but you kept flashing your boobs in the mirror.
223
00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:33,025
I did that? I thought
that was some girl flashing me.
224
00:11:34,936 --> 00:11:37,996
Do you remember anything else?
225
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:39,899
I remember doing some shots
226
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:42,334
and then doing some more shots.
227
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:44,403
And then laughing a lot.
228
00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:47,740
And then at some point I
was making out with a cute guy.
229
00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:49,642
What was his name?
230
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,243
Hey, dude, what's your name?
231
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:58,150
- Derek. - Derek.
232
00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:01,854
Hi, Derek.
233
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:08,761
Uh, well, Derek. Thank you for the visit.
234
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:11,063
I'm Mitchee, and have a great day.
235
00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:15,301
Oh, my God. I-I, I had a one-night stand.
236
00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:16,702
I slept with a stranger.
237
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,670
Well, it's not like you
do that great with the guys
238
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,973
that you know.
239
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,909
- How could you let me
do this? - You were having fun.
240
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:25,444
What was I supposed to do?
241
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:27,046
- Stop me. - I tried.
242
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:29,281
You hissed at me and then licked his neck.
243
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:32,317
Besides, you should be thanking me.
244
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,368
For what?
245
00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:35,187
For getting your mind off of Jordan.
246
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,955
Yeah, great, now it's on the fact that I slept
247
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,656
with some guy whose name I can't even remember.
248
00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:40,959
Well, from what I could
hear you yelling last night
249
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,995
it's either "yes" or "God."
250
00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:53,139
Just shut up, okay? I don't
wanna talk about this anymore.
251
00:12:53,205 --> 00:12:55,307
- Just go. - Really?
252
00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:59,211
- No brekkie? - Get out!
253
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:02,114
You're kicking me out after
I had to sleep through that?
254
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,214
Get out.
255
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:04,265
[hisses]
256
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,554
[instrumental music]
257
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,759
- Will there be anything
else? - I think we're fine.
258
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,293
- Thank you, Dolly. - Good. 'Cause..
259
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:18,130
...it's kickoff time and
I got 50 bucks on the Lions.
260
00:13:19,231 --> 00:13:21,033
Those Lions, they can't lose.
261
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,568
Thanks, you big jinx.
262
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:27,106
And happy Thanksgiving to you too.
263
00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:31,610
So what did Judy say when
you told her about Wally?
264
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:34,947
- Happy Thanksgiving. - You didn't tell her.
265
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:37,349
- No, I didn't. - So you lied to me.
266
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:40,586
Yes, I did. Because I know what's best.
267
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,555
- Tell me what? - Okay, okay!
268
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:48,127
The cranberry sauce is from a can.
There, I said it!
269
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,831
Oh, well, as long as it's nothing about Wally.
270
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:53,299
What about Wally?
271
00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:55,734
Oh, we were just saying we hope you like turkey.
272
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:58,504
I have a pretty good idea
that Wally likes breasts.
273
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,442
- What do you mean? - Oh, I don't know.
274
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,411
What do I mean, Alan?
275
00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:08,080
Oh, uh.. Girls, girls, come.
276
00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:09,582
Sit, distract.
277
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:14,118
- I'm not sitting next to her.
- Why? What's the matter?
278
00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:15,721
You think I wanna be next to you?
279
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:19,024
Girls, girls, your Aunt
Judy didn't leave the comfort
280
00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:21,527
of her studio apartment, and drag her man friend
281
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:25,598
all this way to spend an
evening with the bicker twins.
282
00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:28,934
Here's to the happiest Thanksgiving ever.
283
00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:33,505
So what's going on with you girls?
284
00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:37,509
Don't tell me I'm the only
one at this table with a boyfriend.
285
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:39,278
Yeah, still lookin'.
286
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:40,912
But don't try to help Mitchee with boys because
287
00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:43,382
she might get mad and
kick you out of her apartment.
288
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,729
Why did you kick Farrah out of your apartment?
289
00:14:45,730 --> 00:14:47,752
I don't wanna get into it. It's inappropriate.
290
00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:51,523
- She had a one-night stand.
- Okay, super. Let's move on.
291
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:56,262
- Was he cute? - Let's move further on.
292
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:01,218
I was just trying to show you a good time.
293
00:15:01,219 --> 00:15:02,533
Well, next time take me to a movie
294
00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:04,154
not to a bar where I get so trashed
295
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:06,138
I take a guy home that I don't even know.
296
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:08,107
And ride him like a swing set.
297
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:13,445
Okay, well, you promised inappropriate
298
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,781
and you delivered.
299
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:19,852
Let's each take a moment to
talk about what we are thankful for.
300
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,654
- I'm thankful for- - Not you.
301
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:26,650
I'm thankful that I'm not a tight-ass prude
302
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,827
who's so rigid that the one time
303
00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:30,429
she loses a little control
304
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,498
she freaks out and blames her sister.
305
00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:35,167
Oh, well, I'm thankful that unlike you
306
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:37,503
and your brain-dead booze hound friends
307
00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:40,739
my life is not a 24-hour
loop of "Girls Gone Wild."
308
00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:48,414
Okay well, for me, there's my health.
309
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:53,052
The thing I'm thankful for is Wally.
310
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:54,420
What else you got?
311
00:15:56,655 --> 00:16:00,526
Damn it, those candy-ass Lions
just missed an easy field goal.
312
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:02,761
- That bottle is not empty. - It will be.
313
00:16:02,905 --> 00:16:07,932
Why are you blaming me when
you're just mad at yourself?
314
00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:11,136
- What are you talking about?
- "Hey, I'm perfect Mitchee."
315
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:15,307
"I never lie or curse or forge a prescription."
316
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:18,143
"Oh, no, I did something naughty.
What am I gonna do?"
317
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,978
"I'm not living up to the image I set for myself
318
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,848
when I was eight years old.
How am I gonna face myself?"
319
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,415
No, you know what I can't face?
320
00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:27,353
The fact that when I
woke up this morning hungover
321
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,053
next to a stranger that I slept with
322
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:31,724
I turned into the one thing
that I never wanted to be.
323
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,125
- What? Fun? - No, you.
324
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,492
I never wanted to be you, Farrah.
325
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,428
Oh, yeah, well, I'd never wanna be you.
326
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:40,833
G-girls, girls, wait. Girls!
327
00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:42,701
Ooh, chick fight. Bonus.
328
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,218
I'm going to watch football.
329
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:52,711
Wow, you'd think Mitchee would realize
330
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,146
that adults are responsible for their own actions
331
00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:56,947
and that it's not up to their sibling
332
00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:58,984
to be responsible for them.
333
00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:01,220
- Right, Alan? - You're right.
334
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:04,423
Your boyfriend made a pass at Lee.
335
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:08,160
Oh, my God. It also applies
to you and your sister.
336
00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:09,828
I didn't even see that.
337
00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:15,868
- Wally hit on you? - I'm sorry, Judy.
338
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:17,302
Yeah, well, I'm sorry too
339
00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:19,370
because you must have misinterpreted it.
340
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:22,071
(Dolly) 'Get your hands
off me, you little sea monkey.'
341
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,612
Guess who tried to climb Mount Dolly?
342
00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:32,184
She had her back turned. I thought it was you.
343
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,188
What the hell is wrong with you?
344
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:39,124
You couldn't control yourself for two days?
345
00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:42,127
Don't be too hard on him. He's just a man.
346
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:46,965
Go wait in the car.
347
00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:48,472
We're leaving in the morning.
348
00:17:49,324 --> 00:17:53,171
I'm sorry. I should have told you earlier.
349
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,541
But I-I didn't want you to be hurt.
350
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:58,177
It's okay. He's not my boyfriend.
351
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,112
He's not? Then who is he?
352
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:03,682
Just some guy who sold
me some Beanie Babies on eBay.
353
00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:07,219
I brought him here because
354
00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:10,355
I'm sick of you always feeling sorry for me.
355
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,491
I figured if you thought I had a boyfriend
356
00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:16,028
that you'd stop treating me like some baby bird
357
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,263
you had to protect!
358
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:22,101
Judy, I.. I had no idea you felt that way.
359
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,636
Well, now you know.
360
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,158
Alan.
361
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:32,144
I know what you're going to say.
362
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:34,413
You were right, and I was wrong.
363
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:38,350
No, I was going to say
that your sister is very lucky.
364
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,997
Well, obviously you've
never played bingo with her.
365
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:44,547
Or been on a boat with
her during a lightning storm.
366
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:49,294
No, she's lucky because she has you as a brother.
367
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:51,663
Sure, you have no clue what you're doing
368
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:54,566
but your heart is always in the right place.
369
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,902
I just feel so bad for her.
370
00:18:56,969 --> 00:19:01,473
Alan, you can't make everything
perfect for everybody.
371
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:04,977
But I love the fact that you always try to.
372
00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:06,512
And you know what?
373
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:09,481
You make things pretty damn good for me.
374
00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:13,152
Thank you, Lee. That's very sweet.
375
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:15,454
And you know what the most important thing
376
00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:16,855
that I wanna tell you is?
377
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,759
I was right, and you were wrong.
378
00:19:23,128 --> 00:19:27,199
This wine was too oaky.
You got something fruitier?
379
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:32,504
[instrumental music fades]
380
00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:35,374
[fire crackling]
381
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,277
[knocking on door]
382
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:43,515
- Hey, can I, uh- - Yes, you may apologize.
383
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:45,617
How'd you know I was gonna apologize?
384
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,318
Because you're doing your apology walk.
385
00:19:47,319 --> 00:19:48,687
I have an apology walk?
386
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,521
Yes, it's just like your excited walk
387
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:54,226
only slower and more sorry.
388
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:57,362
Well, I thought about what
you said, and you were right.
389
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,763
I shouldn't have blamed you.
390
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,565
I mean, I'm responsible for my own actions.
391
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,434
And it's not up to you to protect me.
392
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,235
I just don't understand why you're so bummed
393
00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:05,570
about hooking up with a cutie.
394
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:07,039
Well, it's just not who I am.
395
00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:09,575
Well, you did it, so it's part of who you are.
396
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,709
And it's okay because
we're not all just one thing.
397
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,913
I mean, maybe you're part
brainiac and part party girl.
398
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:18,016
I guess. And you know, maybe
you're not all party girl.
399
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:20,585
I mean, maybe deep down
inside there's a part of you
400
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:23,322
that wants to be in control and responsible.
401
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,724
Yeah, right. Maybe.
402
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:28,260
Anyway, thanks for getting my mind off of Jordan
403
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:29,761
and getting me out.
404
00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,430
Any time.
405
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:34,766
By the way, last night, did I really yell-
406
00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:37,703
"God" and "Yes," and one "Who's your mommy?"
407
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:44,009
[outro music]
408
00:20:44,059 --> 00:20:48,609
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