Original subtitles

I just want you to know I have absolute faith in you

handling this meeting with the buyers from Corrigan's.

Then why are you making your screaming on the inside face?

I was thinking of something scary, but totally unrelated.

Really, what?

Identity theft.

What?

All I need is your social security number

and bam, you're downloading thousands of dollars

worth of gay porn and you have no idea.

It's just that Corrigan's Department Stores

is the third largest buyer of underwear in the Midwest.

Yes, I'm aware of that.

Did you send a town car to pick them up at the airport?

No, dad. I sent a hot air balloon.

If the wind's right, they should be

here by next Thursday.

Dad, relax. Everything's under control.

And besides, it's not just me.

The entire company is totally focused on this.

Should I get a Chinese orphan?

That's a lot of responsibility, dear.

Should I get a Chinese chicken salad?

That's a lot of fat, dear.

Hey, boss.

Hey, boss. Yourself, too.

Uh...I got those ad mockups you wanted for the meeting.

Between you and me, we are gonna stack

them and rack them and bring them home.

Says you, bucko.

Uh, what?

I'm being high spirited.

Kicking it around and sending it right back at you.

Zing!

Uh, zing.

Zing.

You little minx.

What, me and the marketing director

discussing the presentation?

- Oh, please, you like him. - No, I don't.

Then how come every time you look

at him you have an eyegasm?

I am nowhere near having..

I-I can't say that.

But...I do like him. How'd you know?

You were spraying pheromones like a crop duster.

Why is everybody running around like this?

Apparently, there's a presentation

that's super important.

I smell a spa day.

[theme song]

? Oh sister sister hey sister ?

? Come on let's rock the boat ?

? When you're tryin' to be on the ground ?

? Now let's all cheero ?

? Whoa-oh-oh-oh ?

? Whoa-oh-oh-ooh-oh ?

? Oh hey sister don't you want to rock the boat? ?

? Whoa-oh-oh-oh ??

[instrumental music]

Uh-oh.

Bummer face.

Why, honey?

Well, I've been thinking about it

and I just can't help feeling like I should be at work today.

[sighs] You know, I'm sure Mitchee and your father

have everything under control.

Hm.

Do I want to be wrapped in kelp

or do I want to be beaten with eucalyptus sticks?

But it's a really important meeting.

It's with one of those big chain stores.

You know, the ones you can shoplift

from because if they ban you, you don't care.

Sweetie, just leave the business

stuff to daddy and your sister.

Those meetings aren't for us.

How come?

Because there's a natural order to things.

You know, we are who we are.

Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly.

Except flying fish.

[instrumental music]

Well..

I don't know what I was worried about.

It's all here.

You said you weren't worried.

I'm not going to lie to you, Mitchee.

I was lying.

But you are going to do a great job.

How's everything coming along?

Couldn't be better.

Mitchee's got everything under control.

You the man.

Uh, thanks. Not really a man.

This is really impressive, Mitchee.

Thanks, and if you guys look at the numbers

on the seamless bra line, you'll see..

What?

I'm sorry, I'm just having a proud dad moment.

This is my child running the company.

I feel just like I did before

her first high school football game.

Football?

We've got a lot to do here.

She was the kicker.

You know, we had to petition

the high school to let her on the team.

That's amazing.

Yep, she could boot that pigskin a country mile.

Yeah, but in a girly way.

Oh, you know, I was going through some stuff

in the garage and I found your old helmet.

It was with your fishing rods and your weight belt.

Keep it.

Jordan, why don't you go work on

this, and we'll look at it after lunch?

Okay. I'll see you later.

Oh, and Mitchee, are you doing anything Saturday?

Um...I think, I'm pretty open.

Because the shipping guys have a flag

football game in the shorter player.

You interested?

Uh, I'll think about it and get back to you.

Okay, well, just let Jorge know.

[door closes]

What's the matter, big dog?

You should dust off the old cleats.

Yeah, and when I'm done I can belch the alphabet.

What are you talking about?

It's just that..

You know what? Forget it, dad.

Oh, come on, Mitchee.

You can always tell me anything.

You say that, but whenever I try to tell you

something that makes you uncomfortable

you get all nervous and start guessing what I'm gonna-

Say.

I know, I'm sorry. Go on.

Dad...it's about the way that you-

Dress?

Dance?

Yes, dad, I finally decided

to confront you about the way you dance.

It-it's the way you perceive me.

You know, you treat me like I'm a-

- A spy? - No!

Well, how am I supposed to know?

I'm not a mind reader.

Well, if you just let me finish my-

Sandwich?

Do you see a sandwich?

But then again, I'm a spy, so I could be hiding one anyway.

I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It-it's just, I get nervous.

But I'll listen. I-I promise.

(Mitchee) 'Okay, look.'

I know that I was a tomboy growing up, okay?

But...I'm an adult now.

And not just an adult.

I-I'm a woman with...needs and desires

and I just wish you would treat me like one.

You're right.

We've been such good buddies.

I guess it's just hard for me to see you in a different way.

I know, but it's embarrassing.

You know, especially in front of..

- Never mind. - Jordan?

Yes. Jordan, okay?

I kind of like him and I wouldn't mind

if he thought of me as something other than a football

kicking fisherman in a weight belt.

You know what? I completely understand.

I apologize.

Thank you, dad.

[door opens]

You're a beautiful, exciting woman.

Thank you.

And I promise.

From now on, I'll be more responsive

to your sexual needs.

I'd appreciate that.

That's just sick.

[instrumental music]

Mom, you know how a lot of women

have two different sized boobs?

[chuckles]

I didn't expect you to say boobs.

Well, I've noticed a lot of my friends

have one that's slightly larger than the other one.

You know, with my friends, it's the exact opposite.

Well, I had this idea.

What if we made a bra that had two different cup sizes?

Hmm, you should tell that to Mitchee.

But not today, because she has a big meeting.

No, well, that's why I think I should be at the meeting.

Tootie, trust me, you wouldn't be comfortable there.

Why wouldn't I?

Never mind, forget I said anything.

Okay.

I still remember. Why wouldn't I?

Nothing.

Well, it's obviously something, mom.

Why wouldn't I be comfortable at the meeting?

- Just let it go, honey. - No.

Tell me.

- It doesn't matter. - Say it.

Because nobody's going to take you seriously.

And why is that?

Farrah, I really don't want to get into this.

Are you saying you think, I'm dumb?

No, I never said that.

You didn't have to.

I figured it out all by myself.

Farrah, calm down.

Don't look at me like that. I am not dumb.

I am leaving.

Farrah, wait.

No, mom, you know what I think?

I think you're talking about yourself.

- What does that mean? - Figure it out.

Dummy.

- What did you say? - You heard me.

- How dare you? - No, how dare you.

Don't you walk away from me.

Farrah?

Farrah.

Farrah. Farrah.

Oh!

When someone opens this door, I'm storming out too!

[instrumental music]

[music fades]

[instrumental music]

So, uh, how's it going with you and Jordan?

If the boardroom's rocking should I not come a knocking.

Thanks to my dad, I think he's starting

to see me a little differently.

Really?

Yeah, like I've got boy parts.

If only that were true

I wouldn't let you out of my sight.

It just drives me crazy the way he treats me.

You mean like one of the guys?

Yeah, but we talked about it

so, he's gonna work on treating me more like a woman.

So, he'll stop arm wrestling you at staff meetings?

I've got my fingers crossed.

It means you get to retire undefeated.

[door opens]

Hey, Jordan. Hi, dad.

There's my little lady.

Here, let me get a chair for you.

Uh, I got it. Uh, no problem.

- So...catch me up. - Okay.

So, the typical Corrigan's customer

is more interested in price than fashion.

As long as it doesn't collect

static electricity, they'll wear.

That's why I think we should push the low end line.

Right, the private stock signature select.

That's right. What do you think, Mr. Arnold?

I'm sorry.

I couldn't concentrate with this hottie in the room.

- Dad? - Oh, I mean it.

You are looking good.

Particularly in the shape department.

Okay, dad.

It's no wonder you've had at least

one boyfriend I know about.

Probably more.

You didn't go entirely dateless, that's for sure.

Right. Jordan, you were saying?

Uh, where was I?

Uh, right, so we're also going to be fighting for shelf space

and that's why I think we should carry

the premium lines, too.

Damn!

Anyway, it's all in the notes, so I'm gonna go.

[door opens]

[door closes]

I could kill you!

But then I'd be working without a pimp.

[instrumental music]

(Farrah) 'Mom?'

Oh. Are you meditating?

No, I'm trying to break these jeans in.

Listen.

I want to apologize.

- You don't have to. - Yes, I do.

I'm sorry for calling you dumb before.

It was really dumb of me.

It just really upset me when you called me dumb.

I didn't call you dumb

you just didn't let me finish what I was gonna say.

What were you gonna say?

I was gonna say that you have to know

what you're good at and what you're not.

Meaning?

Well, like me, I'm a model.

I was the face of this company for 25 years

and I was really, really good at it.

And that's every bit as important

as the business stuff.

But didn't you ever want to be something

more than just a lingerie model?

You mean like a hand model?

I have something to show you.

Mom, I know you still look good naked.

I saw you at breakfast.

You know where I got this?

Playing strip poker with Tammy Faye Baker.

I got it from my first sales meeting

as co-president of the company.

You went to sales meetings?

Yeah, I went to one.

But when I walked into that boardroom

all those corporate guys looked at me like I was a joke.

Like, I was some silly model

pretending to be a businesswoman.

So, I just turned right around and walked out.

I never even...sat down.

That's so sad.

I'm sorry those fat men were mean to you.

I didn't say they were fat.

They sounded fat.

Farrah, I was just trying to protect you

from ever being humiliated like that.

But mom...I have all these great ideas

that I want to put out there.

And just because that bad thing happened to you

it doesn't mean that bad thing is going to happen to me.

But what if it does?

I'm willing to take that chance.

Wow, if it's really in your heart

if that's really what you want

then I'm behind you all the way.

Thanks, mom.

[chuckles]

Besides, you've got something that I never had.

What's that?

A smoking hot mom who believes in you.

Grandma didn't believe in you?

No, the point is, is that I'm smoking hot.

[knock on door]

What is it now?

This isn't easy for me

but I need to talk to you about some really

really, really unsettling rumors

about you and your father.

For God's sakes, he's an idiot.

So, it's just physical?

Are you finished?

He's just incapable of treating me like a daughter.

Well, then stop sleeping with him!

I'm sorry. I promise, no more.

I think the great tragedy

of his life was never having a son.

My dad felt the exact same way.

What was that like?

Well, when I was a kid, we were inseparable.

Football, baseball, fishing, golfing, hunting, bowling.

Wow.

Yep, there wasn't much we wouldn't watch on TV.

That actually sounds kinda nice.

Well, it was until I hit puberty

and began growing hair under my arms.

Why'd that bother him?

Because he caught me shaving it.

Wow, if I had a dime for every time I heard that story.

[chuckles] Yeah, right.

No, really, I've gotta move out of San Francisco.

The point is...how Jordan sees you

has nothing to do with what your dad does.

He's going to like you for what actually makes you attractive.

Which is?

You're adorable, you're smart

Your confident...and he's gonna see that.

Thanks.

Listen, uh, that thing about you and your dad

would it bother you if I spread it around a little?

Yes.

Well, it's a good thing you weren't at lunch today.

[instrumental music]

Mitchee...I am really sorry about before.

Oh, don't worry about it. We're cool.

But I'm still so confused.

I want to give you what you want

in terms of your needs and desires.

Freak show.

I know that you're trying really hard

and I am so grateful that I have a dad who does that.

Really? Grateful?

Look, you dropped a pencil so you could check out my ass.

I'm trying to put a positive spin on this.

Uh, good afternoon, everyone.

Hello, Ernie.

[clear throat] Well, uh, first of all.

Uh, I'm proud to introduce Mitchee Arnold

the new president of Arnold Undergarments.

And, uh, let me just say that, uh

her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Sorry, I, uh, I wrote that before our talk.

Uh, why don't you take it from here?

I know your time is valuable

so, let's get right down to work.

- Wait a minute. - 'Lee?'

Hello, honey. Mitchee.

'You can't start the meeting yet.'

Someone is missing.

'Farrah?'

Thank you, Lee.

It's nice to be recognized.

What are you guys doing here?

We're two professional women

who are participating in a very important business meeting.

Look at you. You're sitting.

I know. So are you.

[clapping]

Please continue.

At a price point which still allows a very generous markup.

That's everything we wanted to show you.

(Ernie) 'Great work.'

That was very impressive.

We're in.

We are thrilled to hear that, Ernie.

Could you give us a preview of next year's line?

Anything interesting or exciting?

(Mitchee) 'Well, we haven't actually..'

I mean, there's nothing that's really ready to present.

I have an idea.

- You do? - You do?

A bra with two different cup sizes.

Go on.

Well, it's a scientific fact that many women

have one boob that's bigger than the other.

- Or smaller. - Exactly, Lee.

These women represent a huge, untapped, lopsided market.

I mean, there could be a woman in this very room

that could benefit from this product.

I don't want to point any fingers

but what are you, like a 32 B, C?

Anyway, that's my idea.

I like that.

- That's innovative. - 'Yeah, innovative.'

It's not just innovative. That's brilliant.

I mean, Farrah's right.

This product speaks to how different

and unique women can be.

'Right? Some are athletic.'

Some are more feminine.

Some are both.

But, we're all women and we all have one thing in common.

We hate the C word.

Okay, two things.

We all want to be comfortable.

And that's what the, um..

The lopsizer.

Yes...that's what the lopsizer does.

We look forward to seeing the prototype.

Perhaps we could talk about an exclusive.

We'd like that.

Maybe you can have the first one, lefty.

I guess that wraps things up.

Wait, where are you going?

I have lots of great underwear ideas.

Okay, like you know mood rings

how they change color when you're happy?

Thank you all for coming, we'll see you next year.

[instrumental music]

[music fades]

[instrumental music]

Hey, you wanna go get a drink to celebrate?

Uh, sure, I could go for a drink.

Great, oh, and um, I just wanted to tell you

you were really great in there.

Oh, well, Farrah's the one that came up with the idea.

Yeah, but the way you jumped on it and sold it, I mean..

Well, I, uh, I hope you don't think this is inappropriate

but, uh, it was really sexy.

Oh, thanks, Jordan.

I'm-I really appreciate that.

What if I meet you down at the bar?

Cool. I'll save you a seat.

[door closes]

[door opens]

What are you getting all pretty for?

Oh, it's nothing.

Nothing?

Okay, I-I-I'm meeting someone I like for drinks.

Mitchee, I won't say anything if you don't want me to

but...are you cheating on dad?

[instrumental music]

[music fades]

[theme music]

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