Original subtitles

My mom ripped my dad's heart out.

Kate's mom.

That's all in the past.

This is Patrick, the brilliant brand guru.

Penny's posh pies.

All right, you get out.

I'm not a project sofa.

You maybe talking to Rex kind of stirred up some stuff.

What do you mean.

Talking to her ex.

Oliver Oliver.

Sarah was the ex.

Would you want to maybe get coffee tomorrow.

Thanks for taking me home.

It was the gentlemanly thing to do.

I have impeccable timing, mom.

I think it's no.

Sure yes.

A yacht in the Mediterranean sounds

far more exciting than Christmas with your daughter.

Oh I'm kidding.

Mom I'll see you New Year's.

All right.

Gotta go.

Yeah Merry Christmas.

Don't be too angry, Darling.

Don't let it spoil everything.

You love Christmas.

Even though it's going to be a bit different.

Why aren't you more angry at her.

When two people fall in love and get married,

there are no guarantees.

She wanted to move on.

I had to let her.

She's not supposed to move on from me.

Dad come on.

Give me a hand with the decorations.

Norris sent this little trinket for your tree.

Of course.

He wanted me to start again this year for the holiday.

But I said, if my Darling daughter can't come to me,

then I will go straight to her.

And yet it didn't occur to you to send a text first.

Oh, where's the fun in that.

So here I am in Oxford.

Charming place.

So many sheep.

You honey, you didn't have to send that handsome man away

last night.

Well, believe it or not, my mother showing up

was actually kind of a buzzkill.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go.

Oh, I just got here.

Yeah, I understand that, but I have work and other commitments,

so. What?

just things.

Stuff boring things.

Boring stuff.

Maybe you should take a walk around Oxford, see the sights.

Especially considering you've never been here before.

Even though your daughter lives here.

Darling, when you've seen one quaint English village,

you have seen them all.

But don't you worry about me.

I shall stay busy.

Yes, I'm sure you will.

I think it's possible.

Yeah Oh, well.

Lookie here.

What the cat dragged in.

Yes, I know that we're not in the best place right now,

but we have a very urgent issue.

It doesn't sound like much of an apology.

Marian, I'm sorry in sight.

I am sorry, I am very sorry.

I thought that I was being respectful of you and

your relationship by staying out of it,

but I can see that I really hurt you,

and that's the last thing that I would ever want.

And you.

I know that your enthusiasm about my personal life

comes from a good place, and you only want what's best for me.

And I took out all my frustrations on you.

And I'm the worst person that's ever lived in the whole world.

And you're the best person that's

ever lived in the whole world.

But please, can you forgive me now because I really

need your help with something.

Fine you're forgiven, you silly sausage.

All right. Bygones what's the emergency.

My good morning.

Delilah oh, Laura, it's been too long since our New Year's

in Central Park.

And you haven't aged a bit, which is criminal.

You must be Cam.

I've heard a lot about you.

Likewise it's good to finally meet you.

Kate didn't tell us you were coming.

Oh, I surprised her.

Oh, Kate loves love surprises.

Oh, so do I. And you can imagine how

tickled I was to see my Darling daughter kissing a handsome man

on her stoop last night.

Richard righty.

I think that's my cue.

Have a great day, guys.

Try the pies.

They're great.

Katherine, do you have an opinion on this.

Richard I mean, I try not get involved in Kate's love life.

Oh that's interesting.

Is it.

Immensely well, this is exciting.

You'll have to give me his surname and date of birth

for the background check.

I'll have to find out if he's been naughty or nice.

Well, we know he's been naughty, but I hope that bit was nice.

You were successful.

I am out of my comfort zone.

And now that I'm here, I have to navigate it my way.

All right, so let's just skip the background

checks, the unsolicited advice, the side chats with Drew.

But I talked to Drew all the time.

Now that's great.

I love that for you.

Just don't talk about me, OK.

And I promise I will still give you all

the juiciest deets of my dates.

OK OK, fine.

OK, I love you.

You're a psycho.

I have a date now.

Bye bye.

Don't forget about the richer details you just said.

Blow by blow account.

OK, so call me later.

My mother says hi.

You learn a lot about a person when you meet their parents.

You're here.

Are you my date 8 sadly, no.

I just finished mine, actually.

Oh is it weird to talk about this stuff.

You like dating other people after last night.

I mean, I know it's part of the deal.

No maybe it is a little weird, but

I don't really have a choice.

I need to do all 12 dates for the article.

Can't have you pulling the plug halfway through.

Nope have to see where the story leads me.

Stop ogling me as I walk away.

Welcome to date number eight.

It's not very romantic, is it.

Well, that's because it's a date with yourself.

A chance to connect with the most important

person in your love life.

You your Canvas.

Now pick your poison.

Premium supplies.

Ooh describe the first person who broke your heart.

Come on.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't have some big,

life defining heartbreak.

It could be anyone a friend, a mentor, a parent.

Felicia, you saucy minx.

There you are.

Good God.

Your door was open.

What are you doing here.

Where's Kate.

I found this in the kitchen.

She tried to warn you.

Well, I don't know how to use this thing anyway.

Romance?

it's for a book club.

A book club, I guess time really does change a man.

I was the inspiration for this series.

I'd think about it twice if I were you before I read the SQL.

What are you doing here.

Wait another marriage.

Another divorce on the run from Interpol.

I'm just visiting.

I haven't seen you since.

What?

Kate's graduation.

Sounds about right.

You know when she said that you were close,

I didn't realize she meant you were literally next door.

It's like you're living in each other's pockets,

perfectly comfortable for us.

Is that what I think it is.

Don't oh, me.

It's just like the one we rode across the states that summer.

Oh, such good memories.

We had fun, didn't we oh, I've got to start locking that door.

OK, let's not avoid this anymore.

How are you feeling on the breakup front.

That's why I poured my heart out.

We have a good cry.

That'd be my preference.

Yeah well, I feel like a right idiot for throwing

everyone out the pop up.

But I also wonder if Sara and I should have been

together in the first place.

Oh, come on, she was lovely and physically perfect in every way.

Look at it this way.

Being single at Christmas is brilliant.

No expensive gifts.

No obligatory visits to her weird family.

No arguments over Christmas music.

So I'm coming out ahead.

Yeah, exactly.

What's that.

The 13 dates of Christmas.

That's a shoddy imitation.

I'm going to go tell drew about this fraudulent flimflam

a forthwith.

You going to be all right, Cal.

So, yeah, I think I can sum this up pretty easily for you.

I am a child of divorce.

The kind where the mother just decides

to quit parenting altogether in favor of frivolous adventures.

So I learned pretty early on that no matter how

many times people tell you that they love you,

you still can't trust them.

So yeah.

You think that makes finding somebody pretty difficult.

Yes of course.

That was rhetorical.

But the point is that I like to keep things light,

unless it's really the real deal.

And personally, I think that my coping mechanism

is my superpower, because otherwise I would have lost it

on my mother a long time ago.

And I think you're going to be very happy with what's next.

All of this was headed to the dump last Boxing Day.

So let's turn this holiday rubbish into something

more productive, shall we.

To move forward in the present, you need to address the past.

You have to tell your mom how you feel.

I don't think so.

Well, love requires honesty.

Kate she doesn't know how you feel.

Nothing can change between you.

Do it.

Kate destroy the old way of doing things.

Break through.

Nah, just make things worse.

But this was good.

I feel better.

Thanks so, did you all have a chance to finish it.

I hope you did.

Just about.

Did you like it.

Really Oh, good.

It's quite a.

Can I join.

You want to join the nits?

How would you even knit.

No, not yet, but I have read the book.

It's a bit crap, isn't it, that you have to buy the next one

just to find out who set fire to the Villa during the honeymoon.

The jealous billionaire.

Oh, right.

Thanks for the spoiler.

No Well, everyone, I think we have a new knitting.

Make that 2, to please God.

No I am Delilah, Mac's ex-wife.

And everything that you have heard about me

is probably absolutely true.

Oh Mrs. Talbot loved her tartan.

That looks like a nervous breakdown Really No.

It's got movement and vitality.

It's angry, aggressive, filled with tension.

Like a Cobra ready to strike.

Might work on upholstery or bed linens.

Perhaps a furious pillow.

And that's when the Prince told me he'd renounce his title

to stay with me in Cappadocia.

And did he do it.

Oh, no I called it off the next day.

There was too much at stake.

Geopolitically fascinating, truly.

So now, does anyone have anything

more to say about the ending.

Well, I thought it was quite complicated, actually.

Was I supposed to know the jockey had an identical twin.

Well, I thought that myself.

Sounds like you two are on the same page.

Don't start.

They were stranded outside Brighton last week.

Stuck out in the elements.

They barely made it back.

It's absolute rubbish.

The car broke down.

It got fixed.

We came home.

That's it.

Oh, I thought you'd had an argument.

No not really and spent the night at an Inn.

That sounds like classic enemies to lovers territory to me.

That is my favorite trope.

And now his ex arrives.

Plot twist.

Enough, enough.

Mac and we.

We're not.

Characters romance novel.

We were.

Look I mean, does anybody have anything

they want to talk about.

The actual book.

No well, this meeting's adjourned, then.

So, what book are we doing next week.

When do I learn to knit.

You really want to be part of a romance

book club with women who knit hats that no one will ever wear.

You're probably right.

Never really was my thing anyway.

Was it.

Hey Laura, what's the emergency.

Is it Kate.

Date number 8 was tough.

The 13 dates of Christmas.

What is this.

A cheap copy of your genius concept.

But there's only one Christmas Cupid around here.

And which is what I told them when I contacted them.

They folded like a card table, getting out of the matchmaking

game altogether.

That's what the threat of a trademark infringement lawsuit

will do.

Honestly, it's the most fun I've had as a solicitor in years.

Laura thank you.

What's wrong.

Does anyone else you want me to go after.

I'm happy to oblige.

No but the venue for date number 9 has fallen through.

I've contacted our backups, but the hedge

maze has a weevil infestation.

And the hot air balloon sprung a leak.

I'm at a loss, and I can't cancel because people's

hearts are on the line.

I know a place.

So, yeah, I was half expecting drew to Bill me for therapy.

You have to trust the process, as Drew always says.

So I liked seeing you today Did I.

Do you have any plans tomorrow.

I have my annual Christmas tea with my dad in Covent Garden,

but I think I got spirits of Christmas for date night.

What did you get.

I have something with a sled.

I think we have the worst luck.

Did you get my gift.

No, I don't think that I did.

Oh my God.

Yeah, I'm looking at it.

Open it.

OK, I'm opening it now.

Oh it's beautiful.

It's not bad.

It's mistletoe.

So whenever you wear it, I an excuse to kiss you.

Not that we've ever needed an excuse.

Oh, my baby girl has a crush.

Oh, hey, I have to go.

My mom is hyperventilating.

But thank you for the gift.

And I will talk to you soon.

OK talk to you next time.

OK, bye.

I have been waiting for this day for ages.

Tell me everything.

Wish I could, but gee, look at the time.

Big day tomorrow.

Let's go ahead and I. Yeah 1 cup of cocoa.

Wish I could.

Just can't go on out of there.

Close it on up.

Thank you.

Oh, boy.

I have an exciting business opportunity.

No you haven't even heard what it is yet.

I don't need to.

Drew is desperate for a venue for date number 9.

And the pear tree.

No you saw what happened at the pop up.

No more events, no more business opportunities,

Kate Yes Tell Callum that date number 9 should

be here at the pear tree.

That's actually a really good idea, because then you

could be my date.

Your date.

I mean, not my date.

Not like that.

OK, I sound disgusting.

I'm not that bad.

No, I just mean I'm supposed to bring a single friend to be

an option for other daters.

Brilliant then it's sorted.

I didn't say yes.

Back in the early days, your mom threw parties here all the time.

Maybe we should give the guy a break.

You're just hoping that drew has to cancel date night.

That's true.

But also, look, he doesn't want to do it.

Fine I'll do it.

You owe me big time.

How thrilling. It's a shame.

You courtyard. Such a mess.

Would have made a great romantic venue.

Come on.

Kate crumbled like a cookie.

It was a lovely service.

Hey I didn't see you there.

That's just what people always say in the movies.

What I wanted to say was.

I'm sorry your mom died.

She was really cool and nice, and I just.

I wish.

So you haven't told me much about your trip

to Brighton I haven't.

Well, I went to Brighton overnight with Evelyn.

I'm just saying.

I know it was two rooms, but simply stating the facts.

Should we talk about the gentleman caller who's

been hanging around your place.

Your mother certainly made quite an impression in town yesterday.

She knows how to make an entrance and a mess.

Yeah when she decides to show up, that is.

She's not staying for Christmas, is she.

Oh, I highly doubt it.

Flexford is going to bore her senseless.

I mean, come on.

She was not going to stick around.

We know how she is.

I think since this is your first Christmas in England,

that you and I should make our own new traditions.

But first, my dear, you must learn to embrace your heritage.

I know how to drink tea.

I'm sure.

But did you know that it's always sugar before milk.

I know any other way would be just ludicrous.

But it's all going in the same place.

Who cares what order you put it in.

We do see a good English.

Well, traditional English tea is all about good arguments.

For instance, what would you call that.

A scone.

You see, in this country, people will fight you to the death.

And whether it's pronounced scone or scone.

It's a scone.

The correct pronunciation is scone.

Now you're new to the Homeland, so we'll

forgive your trespasses.

But don't you dare challenge me on whether it's

the cream or the jam.

First on your scone.

Kingdoms have been won and lost over

such important distinctions.

Love this place.

Love this tradition.

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

That's a bold statement for a man

who was recently in traction.

Tucker I hope you don't mind.

We already seated your third.

Go on.

Mum how did you even.

You know I have my ways.

Hi thank you.

You were a little hard on Mac yesterday Excuse me.

Going with you to the cliffs.

They're Latin aerobics.

Reading that ridiculous book.

Seems like he's making a big effort to get to know you.

And now you're sending a message to back off.

Oh, look, I don't Callum.

I love my life now.

I'm used to being alone.

I've had a lot to work through.

I'm just not sure I want to see it all turned upside down.

Putting yourself out there is hard.

It's worth it.

How do you know that.

I put myself out there plenty.

Sarah, the pop up.

Well, not with everyone.

We know who we mean.

I mean, her name is not Sarah.

Evelyn come on.

I know what, I know what I see.

So don't go spouting off about how putting yourself out there

is hard, but worth it.

Because we both know that you're avoiding exactly that.

Well, this is a fun little tradition.

It was.

Hey, just because your mother showed up

without any consideration for our feelings doesn't mean

we should abandon our manners.

No, no.

Our girl tells it like it is.

Nothing wrong with that.

It reminds me of the time when she got kicked out of swim class

for refusing to swim in the deep end.

Didn't the instructor call her insubordinate?

Sorry you would have preferred.

I just trusted a guy in sandals with a man BUN

to keep me from drowning.

He was Greek.

Darling, I don't have room for this gun.

Do you remember when we took her to the Museum of Modern Art.

And she tried to call the police because she was convinced

that van Gogh was a forgery, and no one

could tell her she was wrong.

OK, you guys don't get it.

There was a brushstroke discrepancy.

I stand by that. The real one's still out there.

You'll see.

It's true.

I haven't thought about that for a long time.

Listen, we made it through her middle school years.

That makes US war buddies.

OK, my turn, my turn.

My fun memory is that this is the place

that dad took me when we had our first Christmas

as a family of two.

Because you decided to leave us.

Yeah, it was a really tough time, obviously,

but he made it special and fun for me, so.

I think we should probably get the check.

Mark, have you started work on the bike yet.

Oh, gosh, I'd love a ride.

He's he's selling the bike eventually.

It still needs its repairs.

You love that bike.

Yeah, but it's dangerous.

And he's not young anymore, so.

Hey, I'm right here.

You can't actually tell me that you're considering

ever riding that bike again.

Bad, you were in a serious accident.

All the more reason to get back on.

Conquer your fear.

Well, who said I was scared.

You see, your father's a very capable driver.

He can decide for himself.

OK, sorry.

That's enough.

You don't get to just come here and tell us how we should or

shouldn't be living our lives.

You're you're not here.

You're not a part of this.

And we're just fine without you.

Kate no, dad, I'm going to pretend

that this is normal anymore.

I mean, I'm serious.

Like, if I want to move forward into the present,

I have to address the past.

Oh, come on, let's go and celebrate the magic

of the season elsewhere.

And by the way, it's pronounced scone.

Yeah I don't know what else you expect.

Tyndall and then I've got this.

Sorry it's OK.

The letter got to me again.

It's a complicated relationship.

You don't have to forgive her, you know.

Well, you seem to have let her off the hook entirely.

It's funny.

We just slipped back into being your parents

haven't shared that proud feeling

with someone in a long time.

But I tell you, it's a heck of a lot easier to tolerate her now

that we're not married.

And you got to remember, she gave me

the greatest gift of my life.

Oh mwah.

Well, just cool it with all the kindness stuff, would you.

Trying to ignore her so she goes away.

Is that what you really want.

It's just so much easier for me when she's not here.

I'm just still so angry with her.

And I feel like it's her fault that I

don't trust anybody when they say that they care about me.

Or you know that when somebody says

they're going to do something, I just automatically assume

that I'm going to be let down.

I just feel tired of having to keep my guard up.

You feel what you feel.

Just don't let your wheels spin so they get stuck in the mud.

I'm sorry about your sister.

Oh, you clean up nice.

Are you sure you can really take this whole night off.

Oh, yes.

Laura's in charge.

And as you she loves bossing people around.

That's true.

Oh, but every fairy light in England.

You know what we actually did.

Oh, this is crazy.

Welcome to the spirits of Christmas.

As you traverse the globe sampling cocktails

from around the world, be sure to meet some fellow travelers

on the way.

No offense, Kate, but the American eggnog.

It's not great.

Your loss.

More for me.

True hi.

If you'll excuse me, I'll have to go

and save the wait staff from Laura

and her delightful intensity.

Chin, chin and pie launcher.

Cheers All righty.

What do you say we look around for some attractive candidates

for you and some attractive cocktails for me.

Wait, this is your thing.

Why am I looking for a date.

Because my hands are kind of full at the moment.

Richard.

Your mom said a lot about him.

On that note, these spirits aren't

going to drink themselves.

Let's go.

Thanks for helping me pull off this evening.

No problem.

This is so exciting.

This is such a great space.

Why don't they use it.

Honestly, I don't know.

Callum could clean it up and use it for events.

Oh, 12 dates next year.

I'm just trying to get through this year first.

But I do have to say you are good at this.

I am good at this.

You sure you don't want to try some of this eggnog.

You're missing out.

Yeah, I wholeheartedly disagree.

How are you, sir.

I'm Teresa.

We love her.

She owns her own dental practice.

You have that wiggly crown.

You guys could be a match made in heaven.

Yeah I'd like to make dentistry and romance.

Smart what about.

Ooh what about Rose.

You see what.

The red sweater.

Yeah yeah, she's really smart.

She's some kind of like, theoretical physicist,

whatever that is.

She also has incredible cheekbones.

Yeah, I know what we talk about.

Theoretical physics, obviously.

All right, let's see.

Let's try the malt liquor full time of the year.

Oh, no.

OK you're right.

That's a headache waiting to happen.

What about the mommy kissed Saki clause.

Yeah, speaking of Kate, excuse me, sweetie, but

you can't just give me one day.

Oh, have you two tried the sugar rum.

Faryad?

it is all but transported me right back to Barbados.

I wish it actually had.

What are you doing here.

It's literally the only place in this little Hamlet.

I guess I sort of met in Wexford.

Just because you've made it so abundantly

clear that you'd rather be anywhere else with anyone else.

Hey easy, Kate.

You canceled New Year's.

Yeah, that wasn't really an open invitation for you to come haunt

us like the Ghost of Christmas.

Can't be bothered to call or text first.

Truce I could always handle Christmas with Norris

or whomever, wherever, drinking whatever.

As long as I knew.

A few days later we'd be on our holiday adventure.

When you canceled New Year's, I started

to feel like you would be just fine pushing me out of your life

altogether.

And Christmas felt. Empty mom.

We'll be right back.

Oh, OK.

You want to get out of here.

Because we could just dip out the back.

Kate she's trying.

Don't ignore her or pretend you didn't hear her.

Let her in.

Why Because I'm sure she's not here to hurt you.

But you could definitely hurt her.

Oh, for God's sakes, mother.

This is the second time today, young lady, that you've

walked away from me.

You are so dramatic.

Yeah wonder where I get that from.

So, listen, obviously I care about our relationship.

Really really.

But I'm kind of busy at the moment,

so perhaps we could pick this back up later at home.

Good luck with the date.

What?

OK, so save it.

Give me that.

All right, now, let's go get you a drink.

Pick your poison.

Good choice.

OK, here's the plan.

So we're going to walk past that big group of girls over there.

And then I am going to trip and sprain my ankle.

Is that really necessary.

Oh, trust me, this works every time.

Then you'll come over and you'll help me up

and I'll be like, oh, thank you.

And you'll be like, I got you.

And then I'll sit there just extolling your virtues.

All my virtues.

Yes, that's right, you have virtues.

OK, well, you don't.

You don't believe me.

Here here they are.

Let's see.

You are a small business owner.

And in this economy.

That's amazing.

You make an incredible oxtail soup.

It's a big one.

And you dress like an old professor.

But some people are into that.

And let's see you surround yourself

with strong, capable, funny women.

And you're a great friend and a great kisser.

I mean, you're pretty much the whole package.

A great kisser.

Well, yeah, I mean, it's part of the sales pitch.

You you can remember it was like, 15 million years ago.

OK I can remember that kiss.

OK tell me, when did you and I become a joke.

If you get this letter, won't you help me out.

I know you're kind of busy with your elves right now,

and I don't know how to do the things you do.

I'll sleep on Christmas Eve, but it's amazing.

And I bet that you could bring me back my baby.

Because every time I see Christmas lights, I feel hollow.

I mean, he never knew what hit him.

He deserved it.

Love actually isn't just a movie.

It's a reflection of.

Society since we find out that anything could happen,

anything could happen.

Anything could happen.

Anything could happen.

Anything could happen.

Anything could happen.

Hey hey.

I love you.

I love this song, too.

I'll be right back.

It's a great party girl, right.

Thank you.

See you soon.

Oh, sorry that anything could happen.

Anything could happen.

Anything could happen.

Anything could happen.

Anything can happen.

Anything can happen.

Anything can happen will you stop avoiding me

and answer the question.

How about the fact that you told me that you loved me.

And then five seconds later, you were

making out with someone else.

I knew you heard me.

I'm locked out.

Kate won't give me a key.

I wouldn't either.

T some things never change.

A lot of things do.

So I think I made progress with Kate tonight.

That's good.

And I'm sure you also must have some thoughts that you've

been sitting on for 15 years.

Like I ran out on you.

I'm unreliable, and I only date men with yachts.

Come on.

McIntosh let me have it.

Just don't hurt our daughter again.

Look, Callum.

It's fine.

It's fine that you didn't mean it.

I mean, we were kids.

How do you know.

I didn't mean it.

How did you know that, Kate.

Well, what else was I supposed to think.

I mean, you backtracked almost immediately.

I had to laugh it off.

Then Let me set the record straight.

Just say, and I. And I kiss you.

It's not a joke.

I'm everything you have.

Everything you have.