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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,068 --> 00:00:21,068 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 2 00:00:27,638 --> 00:00:32,638 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver 3 00:00:32,767 --> 00:00:34,634 [KYLE GRUNTING, PANTING] 4 00:00:47,601 --> 00:00:50,133 KYLE: Can you go slower? 5 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,767 MIKE: Yeah, sorry. 6 00:00:55,233 --> 00:00:57,100 MIKE: Can I have the water bottle? 7 00:00:57,233 --> 00:00:58,601 Yeah. 8 00:01:04,901 --> 00:01:06,968 It's called a bidon. 9 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,901 What's in it? 10 00:01:10,034 --> 00:01:11,567 Orangina. 11 00:01:15,001 --> 00:01:16,934 - Thanks. - No problem. 12 00:01:17,068 --> 00:01:18,467 No, thanks for this. 13 00:01:18,601 --> 00:01:20,100 For getting me out here. 14 00:01:20,233 --> 00:01:22,233 I never would have thought of doing this. 15 00:01:22,367 --> 00:01:24,901 - It's beautiful. - Yeah. 16 00:01:26,233 --> 00:01:27,968 And I kind of need it 17 00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:29,801 because I've been getting fat. 18 00:01:29,934 --> 00:01:33,634 Yeah. Most people get in shape before their wedding. 19 00:01:33,767 --> 00:01:34,801 Yeah. 20 00:01:34,934 --> 00:01:36,767 I... I didn't do that. 21 00:01:36,901 --> 00:01:39,467 Yeah. Hey, when we hit the hill up here, 22 00:01:39,601 --> 00:01:41,601 try to keep, like, a steady cadence. 23 00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:43,801 - What's a cadence? - Uh, your pedal cadence, 24 00:01:43,934 --> 00:01:46,200 it's the rhythm of your feet as they move. 25 00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:48,267 You want to keep them consistently moving. 26 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,434 All right. 27 00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:53,367 So you're, like, really into this. 28 00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:54,968 - Cycling? - Yeah. 29 00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:57,767 - Yeah. It's like... - Ah, I love it. 30 00:01:57,901 --> 00:02:00,300 You know, it's beautiful, you sweat a lot. 31 00:02:00,434 --> 00:02:03,567 Helps me clear my head when, you know, uh... 32 00:02:03,701 --> 00:02:06,001 Maybe when I get back home, 33 00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:08,133 I can get a bike and we can do it together. 34 00:02:08,267 --> 00:02:11,001 This could be, like, our thing. 35 00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:14,267 - Yeah. That'd be cool. - Cool. 36 00:02:15,867 --> 00:02:19,068 Mike, I'm getting married. How awesome is that? 37 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,267 Awesome. 38 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,634 She's the best. 39 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,968 She's like the best person ever. 40 00:02:26,567 --> 00:02:28,901 I don't have to change to be with her, you know? 41 00:02:29,034 --> 00:02:32,767 Remember how Marissa made me get that Rob Thomas haircut 42 00:02:32,901 --> 00:02:35,601 and Tina made me be an atheist for a year? 43 00:02:35,734 --> 00:02:37,601 - Yeah, I remember that. - Yeah. 44 00:02:37,734 --> 00:02:40,133 Ava isn't like that. 45 00:02:40,267 --> 00:02:42,667 She loves me for who I am. 46 00:02:42,801 --> 00:02:45,968 And I love her for who she is. 47 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,801 And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her. 48 00:02:48,934 --> 00:02:51,534 Kyle, I slept with Ava. 49 00:02:51,667 --> 00:02:52,801 What? 50 00:02:52,934 --> 00:02:54,968 What do you mean "slept"? 51 00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:58,034 Like, we sexually slept together. 52 00:02:58,167 --> 00:02:59,467 Shit. 53 00:03:00,601 --> 00:03:02,034 All right. 54 00:03:03,068 --> 00:03:05,133 Wha...? Oh, my God. 55 00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:08,667 I'm gonna fucking kill you. Ah! 56 00:03:08,801 --> 00:03:11,133 I'm gonna fucking kill you. Ugh! 57 00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:13,734 Now, when? 58 00:03:13,867 --> 00:03:16,001 When...? When did you sleep together? 59 00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:17,767 I don't know exact dates. I didn't... 60 00:03:17,901 --> 00:03:19,400 Dates?! 61 00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:21,034 Dude, slow down. Pace yourself. 62 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:22,968 [GROANING] 63 00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:27,567 - How long? - Like a quarter mile. 64 00:03:27,701 --> 00:03:30,701 No, how long has this been going on? 65 00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:32,901 When did it start?! 66 00:03:33,034 --> 00:03:34,968 When she moved to New York. 67 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:36,467 Three years ago! 68 00:03:36,601 --> 00:03:38,734 This whole fucking time?! 69 00:03:38,867 --> 00:03:40,167 No. 70 00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:43,834 No, not the whole time. It was... You know. 71 00:03:43,968 --> 00:03:46,467 It was before you guys started dating. 72 00:03:49,601 --> 00:03:51,300 [PANTING] 73 00:04:00,334 --> 00:04:02,801 [BICYCLIST YELLS IN FRENCH] Come on, don't fade! 74 00:04:06,634 --> 00:04:07,801 [MIKE PANTING] 75 00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:21,792 Hello. 76 00:04:30,534 --> 00:04:32,034 Okay. 77 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,233 Okay, Mike. 78 00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:37,133 You guys slept together. 79 00:04:38,267 --> 00:04:39,968 It happened. 80 00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,001 It's in the past. 81 00:04:45,534 --> 00:04:47,334 It also happened in the present. 82 00:04:47,467 --> 00:04:50,834 Oh, fuck, Mike! Aah! 83 00:04:50,968 --> 00:04:53,801 Switch gears. You need to pedal at a higher cadence. 84 00:04:53,934 --> 00:04:56,701 Fuck you, Mike. Ah... 85 00:04:56,834 --> 00:05:00,267 You're like... You're like a real-life Judas. 86 00:05:02,034 --> 00:05:04,068 On the plus side, that makes you like Jesus, 87 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,567 so that's like a... 88 00:05:05,701 --> 00:05:06,867 Was that a joke? 89 00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:08,601 Are you making a joke? 90 00:05:08,734 --> 00:05:10,233 You're right. 91 00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:12,267 It was in bad taste. 92 00:05:15,534 --> 00:05:18,233 - What do you want me to say? - "I'm sorry"? 93 00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:24,567 I didn't plan this, it sort of just like... 94 00:05:24,701 --> 00:05:27,267 It happened. I don't know. There's something about her. 95 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,801 She's smart and interesting 96 00:05:28,934 --> 00:05:30,801 She does this thing with her hips I've never... 97 00:05:30,934 --> 00:05:33,267 What? The hip thing? She's my fiancée. 98 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,767 You think I don't know about the hip thing? 99 00:05:35,901 --> 00:05:37,734 - You're right. I'm sorry. - Oh... 100 00:05:37,867 --> 00:05:40,100 If I catch you, I'm gonna kill you. 101 00:05:40,233 --> 00:05:42,267 I know, that's why I waited for the hill. 102 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:43,934 [GRUNTING] 103 00:05:47,133 --> 00:05:48,667 Yeah, you got this. Come on. 104 00:05:48,801 --> 00:05:50,133 - Mike, shut up. - Dig! 105 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,400 Fuck you! 106 00:05:51,534 --> 00:05:52,734 Push it. 107 00:05:52,867 --> 00:05:56,034 [YELLING] 108 00:05:56,167 --> 00:05:58,233 Why are you doing this? 109 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:06,267 - I just thought you'd wanna know. - Why would I wanna know? 110 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,034 I don't know, man. 111 00:06:09,767 --> 00:06:12,934 You're getting married, and... 112 00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,767 I'm your best man, I had to tell you. 113 00:06:14,901 --> 00:06:17,001 You're not my best man anymore. 114 00:06:18,434 --> 00:06:20,267 I wrote a speech. 115 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,400 I don't care. 116 00:06:26,534 --> 00:06:28,400 Who's gonna be your best man? 117 00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:29,934 Anybody, Mike. 118 00:06:30,068 --> 00:06:32,934 Anybody but you is gonna be my best man. 119 00:06:44,034 --> 00:06:47,100 - That's like a $30 bidon. - What does "bidon" even mean? 120 00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:48,834 [HORN HONKING] 121 00:06:50,467 --> 00:06:52,801 It's a French word for bicycle water bottle. 122 00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,467 Go around! 123 00:06:55,601 --> 00:06:57,534 Go around! 124 00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,133 Fucking go around! 125 00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:01,767 [DRIVER YELLS IN FRENCH] Move! 126 00:07:01,901 --> 00:07:03,267 Asshole! 127 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:04,567 Fuck you. 128 00:07:04,701 --> 00:07:06,701 Motherfucker! 129 00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:09,367 [♪♪♪] 130 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,934 DRIVER [IN FRENCH]: Get out of the way, asshole! 131 00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:06,711 - [HORN HONKS] - [TIRES SCREECH] 132 00:08:06,804 --> 00:08:07,750 What's up, motherfucker? 133 00:08:09,934 --> 00:08:11,375 - MIKE: Fuck you! - You hooligan! 134 00:08:11,434 --> 00:08:13,601 What the fuck is your problem, motherfucker? 135 00:08:13,734 --> 00:08:15,467 Fucking asshole. 136 00:08:15,601 --> 00:08:18,267 Get the fuck off me! 137 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:22,068 [MIKE GRUNTING] 138 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,567 GIRL [IN FRENCH]: Papa, are you okay? 139 00:08:23,701 --> 00:08:25,400 DRIVER: Yes yes, my chickadee. Get back in your seat! 140 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,708 I won't be long. 141 00:08:28,068 --> 00:08:30,133 MIKE: Fucking stop! Ugh! Arrêt! 142 00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,434 [MIKE GROANING] 143 00:08:32,567 --> 00:08:33,567 Okay, okay, okay... 144 00:08:33,701 --> 00:08:35,467 - [DULL THUD] - [MIKE GASPING] 145 00:08:38,767 --> 00:08:40,434 [ENGINE STARTS, REVS] 146 00:08:40,567 --> 00:08:42,567 - [RADIO PLAYING SOFT TUNE] - [TIRES SCREECH] 147 00:08:42,701 --> 00:08:44,400 Oh, fuck. 148 00:08:44,534 --> 00:08:45,968 Oh, fuck. 149 00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,801 Oh, holy shit. 150 00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,500 Oh, horses. 151 00:08:58,133 --> 00:09:00,968 KYLE: Thought you were a good fighter. 152 00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:02,667 MIKE: These shoes have no traction. 153 00:09:02,801 --> 00:09:04,233 [MIKE GROANS] 154 00:09:04,367 --> 00:09:05,968 KYLE: Swear it won't happen again. 155 00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:08,133 - MIKE: I swear. - KYLE: Like you mean it, Mike. 156 00:09:08,267 --> 00:09:11,068 - Swear it's not gonna happen. - I swear it won't happen again. 157 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,601 I... Ow! Mm! 158 00:09:13,734 --> 00:09:15,901 [IN FRENCH] It's a bruise. Bruise. Bruise. Bruise. It's nothing. 159 00:09:16,034 --> 00:09:18,267 - He saying blue, it's blue. - I can see what color it is. 160 00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:19,833 Okay. I have looked over your x-rays. 161 00:09:19,917 --> 00:09:21,333 You have nothing broken. 162 00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:23,083 It's only bruised. 163 00:09:23,167 --> 00:09:24,333 However, I would like to do some tests 164 00:09:24,417 --> 00:09:26,750 to make sure he hasn't suffered any head trauma. 165 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:28,708 Yes? 166 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,400 - What's he saying? - I don't know, 167 00:09:30,534 --> 00:09:31,634 He's speaking so fast. 168 00:09:31,792 --> 00:09:34,042 Are you understanding me? Do you understand French? 169 00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:36,434 [IN FRENCH] Yes. I study the French in high school. 170 00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,567 Ah, okay. Uh... 171 00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:41,958 He has some severe bruising but nothing is broken. 172 00:09:42,042 --> 00:09:43,708 Can you tell that to your friend? 173 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,542 He's not my friend. 174 00:09:47,542 --> 00:09:48,458 Come with me. 175 00:09:48,534 --> 00:09:50,834 - [IN ENGLISH] Come, come, come. - [IN ENGLISH] Okay. 176 00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,500 Oh. 177 00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:02,500 [GROANS SOFTLY] 178 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:13,667 Ah, cool. 179 00:10:21,701 --> 00:10:23,434 - AVA: Hey. - Hey. 180 00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:24,867 [CHUCKLES] 181 00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:26,968 What happened to your hair? 182 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:29,133 Oh, I had a hat on. 183 00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:30,701 Are you okay? 184 00:10:30,834 --> 00:10:32,200 Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. 185 00:10:32,334 --> 00:10:34,467 - I think I broke a rib. - Where's Kyle? 186 00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,133 Uh, with the doctor. 187 00:10:36,267 --> 00:10:38,801 - Is he okay? - Yeah, he's fine. 188 00:10:38,934 --> 00:10:40,901 I mean, emotionally, he's not. But... 189 00:10:41,034 --> 00:10:42,867 What happened? 190 00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:48,534 I told him about us. 191 00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:50,267 And he beat you up. 192 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,001 No. A Frenchman beat me up. 193 00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:54,167 I think he used Krav Maga. 194 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:55,634 I wouldn't say he beat me up... 195 00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:56,968 Mike, we talked about this. 196 00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,901 - It's over. - I know. 197 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:02,801 I know. That's what I said. I said it was over. 198 00:11:02,934 --> 00:11:07,334 You know, and what we did was, like, stupid and meaningless. 199 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,801 Yeah. It was meaningless. 200 00:11:09,934 --> 00:11:12,968 - Right. That's what I said. - And stupid. 201 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:19,467 And you guys love each other and you're getting married. 202 00:11:19,601 --> 00:11:22,200 Yes. We're getting married. 203 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,567 I'm happy for you. 204 00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:29,801 Me too. 205 00:11:34,867 --> 00:11:36,934 Look, Mike, it's better like this. 206 00:11:37,068 --> 00:11:39,034 You know, I thought a lot about our story, 207 00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:40,400 and it didn't start good. 208 00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:41,901 It means something. 209 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,434 - I love you. - You know you... 210 00:11:43,567 --> 00:11:44,801 I shouldn't have said that. 211 00:11:44,934 --> 00:11:46,634 I don't know why I said that. 212 00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:51,801 Just, I think about it a lot. 213 00:11:51,934 --> 00:11:54,068 - What? - And I love you. 214 00:11:55,968 --> 00:11:58,834 Sorry. I'm not thinking clearly. I think I have a concussion. 215 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:02,133 I'm sorry. Please don't tell Kyle. Fuck. 216 00:12:02,267 --> 00:12:03,634 [SIGHS] 217 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,634 Fuck! 218 00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:09,133 [SIGHS] 219 00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,233 [IN FRENCH] Fucking shit! 220 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,001 What does that mean? 221 00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:19,467 [IN ENGLISH] It means, fuck, you make me shit! 222 00:12:19,601 --> 00:12:21,834 I'm sorry that... 223 00:12:28,834 --> 00:12:32,068 Oh, my God. Mike, are you serious?! You just promised! 224 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,300 Kyle, wait! 225 00:12:34,434 --> 00:12:36,601 Wait! 226 00:12:36,734 --> 00:12:39,068 - Can we talk? - About what? 227 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,233 - About this. - I don't wanna talk about this. 228 00:12:41,367 --> 00:12:45,367 - I fucking hate this. - Okay. 229 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,267 Okay, you know what? I do wanna talk about this. 230 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,567 What's happening? 231 00:12:50,701 --> 00:12:53,200 - I... - Do you love me? Look at me. 232 00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:55,068 - Yes. - Okay. 233 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,500 Good. And do you still wanna get married? 234 00:13:03,968 --> 00:13:07,001 PRIEST: For the Lord himself will descend from heaven 235 00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:09,300 with a cry of command, 236 00:13:09,434 --> 00:13:11,767 with the voice of an archangel 237 00:13:11,901 --> 00:13:13,968 and with the sound of the trumpet of God... 238 00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:16,601 - [TRACTOR ENGINE RUMBLING] - [BACK-UP SIGNAL BEEPING] 239 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,367 ...and the dead in Christ... 240 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,601 - [TRACTOR APPROACHING] - [BACK-UP BEEPING CONTINUES] 241 00:13:26,367 --> 00:13:31,734 And the dead in Christ will rise first. 242 00:13:31,867 --> 00:13:33,867 Then we who are left, 243 00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:35,534 who are alive, 244 00:13:35,667 --> 00:13:39,968 will be caught up together with him in the clouds, 245 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:43,467 so that we may meet the Lord in the air. 246 00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:48,467 We will always be with the Lord. 247 00:13:50,867 --> 00:13:54,634 Therefore, encourage one another with these words. 248 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,467 [♪♪♪] 249 00:13:56,601 --> 00:14:01,001 In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 250 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,834 amen. 251 00:14:08,801 --> 00:14:10,767 I would just like to take a moment 252 00:14:10,901 --> 00:14:13,133 to say thank you to all of you 253 00:14:13,267 --> 00:14:17,133 who've been here today to support the family 254 00:14:17,267 --> 00:14:19,434 and to support one another. 255 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,667 We who are alive, who are left, 256 00:14:22,801 --> 00:14:25,233 and who right now are experiencing 257 00:14:25,367 --> 00:14:29,068 a moment of immense sorrow. 258 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:33,701 But our faith tells us that this very same moment... 259 00:14:35,068 --> 00:14:37,601 is a moment of immense joy. 260 00:14:37,734 --> 00:14:41,934 And she is now in the hands of the heavenly father. 261 00:14:42,068 --> 00:14:44,767 And right now, her husband, Michael, 262 00:14:44,901 --> 00:14:47,034 would like to say a few words. 263 00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:52,434 - Thank you, Father. - God bless. 264 00:14:52,567 --> 00:14:54,867 - God bless, son. - Thanks. 265 00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:02,167 Thank you, Father, for the beautiful words. 266 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:05,001 It's strange hearing them 267 00:15:05,133 --> 00:15:07,467 because Ava really didn't believe in heaven. 268 00:15:10,634 --> 00:15:13,500 She was more into the idea of reincarnation. 269 00:15:13,634 --> 00:15:16,001 This all happened so fast... 270 00:15:16,133 --> 00:15:17,801 I didn't know where to find a priest 271 00:15:17,934 --> 00:15:19,500 who would talk about reincarnation, 272 00:15:19,634 --> 00:15:21,334 so I just went with the basic package 273 00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:23,300 they sold me at the funeral home. 274 00:15:23,434 --> 00:15:24,901 [SIGHS] 275 00:15:26,701 --> 00:15:28,001 I... 276 00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:31,001 I was planning on... 277 00:15:32,167 --> 00:15:34,367 I'm sorry. I'm... 278 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:37,634 Thank you, Father, for being here. 279 00:15:37,767 --> 00:15:39,968 I think I'm fucking this up, my... Sorry. 280 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:41,233 [SNIFFS] 281 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,767 I'm sorry, this is a union cemetery, 282 00:15:46,901 --> 00:15:48,467 I can't let you do that. 283 00:15:48,601 --> 00:15:50,867 I was just gonna throw some dirt on and go home. 284 00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:52,701 I'm sorry. Unless you're Local 365, 285 00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:55,367 I can't let you touch the equipment. 286 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,867 - It's a fucking shovel. - Michael, Michael, it's okay. 287 00:15:58,001 --> 00:15:59,767 It's okay, it's all right. 288 00:15:59,901 --> 00:16:02,100 I'm sorry, Father. I'm sorry, sir. 289 00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:03,601 Give me the fucking shovel! 290 00:16:03,734 --> 00:16:05,767 I'm gonna put some dirt on and I'm gonna go home. 291 00:16:05,901 --> 00:16:07,634 - Back the fuck up! - Put the shovel down! 292 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,133 - Back up! Get the... - Put it down! 293 00:16:09,267 --> 00:16:11,233 Ava! 294 00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:13,100 PRIEST: No, no. Hey, no, no. 295 00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:15,100 Hey! Hey! 296 00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:17,801 Hey! Hey! 297 00:16:17,934 --> 00:16:19,100 Come on! 298 00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:21,267 - [GRUNTS] - [MIKE YELLS] 299 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,834 [KYLE GRUNTING] 300 00:16:23,968 --> 00:16:25,467 Mike. 301 00:16:27,801 --> 00:16:29,267 Hey, Kyle. 302 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,734 Hey. 303 00:16:32,634 --> 00:16:34,734 I didn't think you were gonna come. 304 00:16:37,867 --> 00:16:39,601 Thanks for coming. 305 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,034 I miss her. 306 00:16:56,367 --> 00:16:57,901 Yeah, I get it. 307 00:17:01,534 --> 00:17:02,734 Yeah, you're... 308 00:17:02,867 --> 00:17:04,834 You're the only one who gets it. 309 00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:12,634 You know she started rescuing dogs? 310 00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:16,767 At one point, I had, like, seven dogs living in my house. 311 00:17:16,901 --> 00:17:19,901 It was like a kennel, but they weren't, like, normal dogs. 312 00:17:20,034 --> 00:17:21,567 They were street dogs. 313 00:17:21,701 --> 00:17:24,934 This one dog, Gus, would growl at me. I would fear... 314 00:17:25,068 --> 00:17:26,434 [CHUCKLES] 315 00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:34,068 That's the thing. It's like... 316 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,734 We built this life together, but... 317 00:17:35,867 --> 00:17:38,400 It wasn't perfect, but it was ours. 318 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:44,567 She was patient and loving. 319 00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:48,801 People would tell me when you get married, 320 00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:51,100 sex is supposed to go downhill, but it didn't. 321 00:17:51,233 --> 00:17:54,233 It went uphill. Like, fast up hill. 322 00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:56,068 Got, like, real crazy. 323 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,434 - We started getting... - Come here, come here, hey. 324 00:18:09,467 --> 00:18:11,901 Now I'm stuck with all these dogs. 325 00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:21,267 You were my best friend. 326 00:18:24,734 --> 00:18:27,767 And I know I lost that. You know, but... 327 00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,767 [VOICE BREAKING] Now I lost my wife. 328 00:18:36,601 --> 00:18:38,867 I'm sorry. 329 00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:40,634 I'm sorry. 330 00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,034 [MIKE CRYING SOFTLY] 331 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,001 I'm not sorry for being with her, 332 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,567 because I loved her and I would do that again. 333 00:18:56,701 --> 00:18:59,400 But I'm sorry for what it did to us, you know? 334 00:19:06,901 --> 00:19:10,500 TRACTOR DRIVER: ♪ Glory, hallelujah I shall not be moved ♪ 335 00:19:10,634 --> 00:19:13,667 ♪ Anchored in Jehovah I shall not be moved ♪ 336 00:19:13,801 --> 00:19:18,334 ♪ Just like the tree Planted by the waters ♪ 337 00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:22,001 BOTH: ♪ I shall not be moved ♪ 338 00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:25,834 ♪ I shall not be I shall not be moved ♪ 339 00:19:25,968 --> 00:19:28,934 ♪ I shall not be I shall not be moved ♪ 340 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:33,434 ALL: ♪ Just like a tree Planted by the water ♪ 341 00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:37,100 ♪ I shall not be moved ♪ 342 00:19:37,233 --> 00:19:40,867 ♪ I shall not be I shall not be moved ♪ 343 00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:44,068 ♪ I shall not be I shall not be moved ♪ 344 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:48,467 ♪ Just like a tree Planted by the water ♪ 345 00:19:48,601 --> 00:19:51,701 ♪ I shall not be moved ♪ 346 00:19:58,734 --> 00:20:01,734 [SHAWN MULLINS' "LULLABY" PLAYING OVER STEREO] 347 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,767 [LIP-SYNCHING] ♪ She grew up ♪ 348 00:20:20,901 --> 00:20:25,434 ♪ With the children Of the stars ♪ 349 00:20:25,567 --> 00:20:31,834 ♪ In the Hollywood Hills And the boulevard ♪ 350 00:20:31,968 --> 00:20:37,667 ♪ Her parents threw big parties Everyone was there ♪ 351 00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:40,133 ♪ They hung out with folks Like Dennis Hopper ♪ 352 00:20:40,267 --> 00:20:43,367 ♪ And Bob Seger And Sonny and Cher ♪ 353 00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:56,034 ♪ She feels safe now In this bar on Fairfax ♪ 354 00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:57,734 ♪ And from the stage I can tell ♪ 355 00:20:57,867 --> 00:21:01,968 ♪ That she can't let go And she can't relax ♪ 356 00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:07,434 ♪ And just before She hangs her head to cry ♪ 357 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:12,467 ♪ I sing to her a lullaby ♪ 358 00:21:12,601 --> 00:21:18,133 ♪ I sing, everything Is gonna be all right ♪ 359 00:21:18,267 --> 00:21:20,100 ♪ Rockabye... ♪ 360 00:21:20,233 --> 00:21:23,167 - [STEREO CLICKS] - [SONG STOPS] 361 00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:25,467 Hey. I was doing the whole seduction thing. 362 00:21:25,601 --> 00:21:27,901 Yeah, I can see that. 363 00:21:28,034 --> 00:21:29,601 I thought you thought it was funny. 364 00:21:29,734 --> 00:21:31,901 It was funny when you were fat. 365 00:21:32,034 --> 00:21:35,400 But now it just feels too serious. 366 00:21:35,534 --> 00:21:37,068 Are you gonna talk to them? 367 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,068 It's Thanksgiving, I'll talk to everyone. 368 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,867 Kyle, I'm fucking serious. 369 00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:43,233 Okay, I will. But if we make this into a thing, 370 00:21:43,367 --> 00:21:45,200 - it's gonna be a thing. - It is a thing. 371 00:21:45,334 --> 00:21:48,100 - SUZI: Kyle, turkey's ready. - You need to tell her. 372 00:21:48,233 --> 00:21:49,367 Okay, Mom! 373 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:51,034 You know your mom doesn't like me. 374 00:21:51,167 --> 00:21:52,300 What? My mom loves you. 375 00:21:52,434 --> 00:21:54,901 She didn't like me in high school. 376 00:21:55,034 --> 00:21:57,100 - That's not true. - Mm-hm. 377 00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:58,701 You shouldn't smoke in here. 378 00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:01,300 Because she can smell it and it's like a whole thing. 379 00:22:01,434 --> 00:22:03,801 SUZI: Kyle, this turkey needs to be cut! 380 00:22:03,934 --> 00:22:07,534 - Okay, Mom, I'm coming! - Just tell her no. 381 00:22:07,667 --> 00:22:08,968 What? 382 00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:10,567 But I'm the turkey cutter. 383 00:22:10,701 --> 00:22:11,934 [SIGHS] 384 00:22:12,068 --> 00:22:14,534 Have you ever said no to your mother? 385 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,500 Yeah. 386 00:22:16,634 --> 00:22:19,400 I honestly don't believe that you have. 387 00:22:19,534 --> 00:22:20,968 - Okay. - Let's just practice. 388 00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:22,300 Just say it to me. 389 00:22:22,434 --> 00:22:23,767 Just say no. 390 00:22:23,901 --> 00:22:25,434 No. 391 00:22:25,567 --> 00:22:27,133 I don't believe it. 392 00:22:27,267 --> 00:22:30,434 Okay, let's try, um... 393 00:22:30,567 --> 00:22:33,133 Kyle, can you take me to the airport? 394 00:22:33,267 --> 00:22:34,834 Sure. 395 00:22:34,968 --> 00:22:36,434 I mean, no. 396 00:22:36,567 --> 00:22:38,734 Wait. Do you have to go to the airport? 397 00:22:38,867 --> 00:22:40,767 - Because... - Okay, let's just try it again. 398 00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:43,068 Um, we're just saying no. 399 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,901 - Okay. - Ahem... 400 00:22:46,034 --> 00:22:49,300 Kyle, can you take me to the airport? 401 00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:50,867 No. 402 00:22:52,734 --> 00:22:54,634 Here. Just ask me something. 403 00:22:54,767 --> 00:22:57,200 Okay. Um, can you take me to the airport? 404 00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:59,934 No. Absolutely not. 405 00:23:00,068 --> 00:23:01,767 - Did you believe me? - Wow. Yeah. 406 00:23:01,901 --> 00:23:03,601 - Good. - That's great. 407 00:23:03,734 --> 00:23:06,400 Can you take me to the airport? 408 00:23:06,534 --> 00:23:07,767 No. 409 00:23:07,901 --> 00:23:09,767 No, you need to mean it. 410 00:23:09,901 --> 00:23:11,968 - No. - No, say it again. 411 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:13,467 - No. - No. 412 00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:14,801 No! 413 00:23:14,934 --> 00:23:17,734 - No! - No. No! 414 00:23:17,867 --> 00:23:18,801 [YELLING] No! 415 00:23:18,934 --> 00:23:20,367 - No! - No! 416 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:23,001 No! Kyle! Can you take me to the fucking airport? 417 00:23:23,133 --> 00:23:25,667 - No! - Yeah. 418 00:23:25,801 --> 00:23:27,467 Yeah. 419 00:23:30,068 --> 00:23:31,801 [WHISPERS] Yeah, that was good. 420 00:23:39,968 --> 00:23:41,233 [MOANS] 421 00:23:44,034 --> 00:23:45,834 [MOANS] 422 00:23:48,068 --> 00:23:49,367 Yes. 423 00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:50,767 Oh, fuck. 424 00:23:50,901 --> 00:23:54,601 Fuck! Fuck, fuck. 425 00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:56,934 [SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] 426 00:23:57,068 --> 00:23:59,100 Mom, what are you doing? 427 00:23:59,233 --> 00:24:00,434 I think they're fighting. 428 00:24:00,567 --> 00:24:02,233 You have to give them some privacy. 429 00:24:02,367 --> 00:24:04,601 - Well, it's my house. - Dani, we don't like her. 430 00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:06,801 Wait, why don't we like her? 431 00:24:06,934 --> 00:24:07,901 Because. 432 00:24:08,034 --> 00:24:09,100 [ELECTRIC KNIFE BUZZING] 433 00:24:09,233 --> 00:24:10,567 Oh, Kyle, please, 434 00:24:10,701 --> 00:24:13,367 your father's cutting the turkey! 435 00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:15,934 [FAMILY MEMBERS CHATTERING] 436 00:24:16,068 --> 00:24:17,801 Who wants a Manhattan? 437 00:24:17,934 --> 00:24:20,500 Yes, yes, Grandma, you want a Manhattan? 438 00:24:20,634 --> 00:24:22,601 GRANDMA: Oh, of course! 439 00:24:24,434 --> 00:24:27,001 Whoa, whoa, Dad! Dad, Dad, you can't cut it like that. 440 00:24:27,167 --> 00:24:28,500 You can't cut down the middle. 441 00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:30,634 Okay, well, it was getting cold, so I... 442 00:24:30,767 --> 00:24:32,901 It's okay, I got it. I'll take it. 443 00:24:33,034 --> 00:24:34,968 All right. Let me know when it's done. 444 00:24:35,100 --> 00:24:36,601 - Mama. - Oh! 445 00:24:36,734 --> 00:24:38,567 - Want a Manhattan? - Yeah, of course. 446 00:24:38,701 --> 00:24:41,434 Of course. Oh, my God. Mom, that smells so good. 447 00:24:41,567 --> 00:24:43,267 [KNIFE BUZZING] 448 00:24:46,233 --> 00:24:49,334 - Kyle, is everything okay? - Yeah, why? 449 00:24:49,467 --> 00:24:52,601 - I thought I heard fighting. - No, we're fine. 450 00:24:52,734 --> 00:24:54,300 If you're going through a rough patch... 451 00:24:54,434 --> 00:24:55,867 Mom, Mom, please. Just stop. 452 00:24:56,001 --> 00:24:58,300 I'm sorry. I know you've been through a lot. 453 00:24:58,434 --> 00:25:01,068 I didn't like her when you were together in high school, 454 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,133 - you followed her to SUNY... - I chose to go. 455 00:25:03,267 --> 00:25:04,434 You got in to Amherst. 456 00:25:04,567 --> 00:25:06,133 We're not having this conversation. 457 00:25:06,267 --> 00:25:07,968 She broke up with you first semester. 458 00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:11,567 DANI: Kyle, your commercial's on. Come on! 459 00:25:11,701 --> 00:25:14,534 Oh, my God. Come on. 460 00:25:17,367 --> 00:25:18,901 - Where's the remote? - I don't know. 461 00:25:19,034 --> 00:25:20,534 - I don't know. - It's over there. 462 00:25:20,667 --> 00:25:22,467 Do you have to sit down every time? 463 00:25:22,601 --> 00:25:25,068 - Why would I take it upstairs? - DANI: You always do. 464 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,667 - Oh, got it, got it. Okay. - Turn it up, turn it up. 465 00:25:27,801 --> 00:25:30,567 ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: Side effects of Vulvitra may include bleeding, 466 00:25:30,701 --> 00:25:32,400 hemorrhaging, dizziness and seizures. 467 00:25:32,534 --> 00:25:34,834 - GRANDMA: What's going on? - It's Kyle's commercial. 468 00:25:34,968 --> 00:25:37,801 Users have reported severe mood swings and suicidal thoughts. 469 00:25:37,934 --> 00:25:40,434 Those taking birth control should talk to your doctor 470 00:25:40,567 --> 00:25:43,133 - before using Vulvitra. - WOMAN: ♪ Vulvitra ♪ 471 00:25:43,267 --> 00:25:47,133 ♪ Open the floodgates To your love life ♪ 472 00:25:47,267 --> 00:25:50,434 - DANI: It's so good! - Kyle, it's amazing! 473 00:25:50,567 --> 00:25:53,734 I just did the jingle, so... 474 00:25:53,867 --> 00:25:55,200 What does it do? 475 00:25:55,334 --> 00:25:56,801 It's Viagra for women, Grandma. 476 00:25:56,934 --> 00:25:57,901 It makes you wet. 477 00:25:58,034 --> 00:25:59,400 - Bianca. - What? 478 00:25:59,534 --> 00:26:01,400 GRANDMA: Oh. 479 00:26:01,534 --> 00:26:03,034 - Oh, that's nice. - Tone it down. 480 00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:06,567 - Pretty good marketing. - Yeah, big pharma's got their... 481 00:26:06,701 --> 00:26:08,300 - JACKIE: Hey. - Hey. 482 00:26:08,434 --> 00:26:11,934 - Oh, your skirt's, um... - Oh, thank you. 483 00:26:12,068 --> 00:26:13,734 [♪♪♪] 484 00:26:18,068 --> 00:26:19,701 - Hey. - Hey. 485 00:26:19,834 --> 00:26:21,100 - Hey. - Hey. 486 00:26:21,233 --> 00:26:22,434 Hi. 487 00:26:22,567 --> 00:26:24,434 - You want a Manhattan? - No, I'm good. 488 00:26:24,567 --> 00:26:28,567 Kyle and I are doing this, um, no-sugar diet. 489 00:26:28,701 --> 00:26:29,801 There's sugar in this? 490 00:26:29,934 --> 00:26:31,734 - I thought this was just alcohol. - Hey. 491 00:26:31,867 --> 00:26:34,567 - You missed Kyle's commercial. - Oh, I've seen it. 492 00:26:34,701 --> 00:26:36,434 - Oh. Isn't it great? - Yeah. 493 00:26:36,567 --> 00:26:39,400 Doesn't it feel like it was written for men though? 494 00:26:39,534 --> 00:26:41,400 Oh, it was written for men. 495 00:26:41,534 --> 00:26:44,601 - Well, I thought it was great. - MARK: Looking good, Kyle. 496 00:26:44,734 --> 00:26:45,934 - So did I. - Lose some weight? 497 00:26:46,068 --> 00:26:47,968 KYLE: Marissa's making me work out. 498 00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:49,133 MARK: I bet she is. 499 00:26:49,267 --> 00:26:50,634 Listen, for, uh, New Year's, 500 00:26:50,767 --> 00:26:52,400 Jim bought all of us tickets 501 00:26:52,534 --> 00:26:55,601 to the Thomas Sullivan, so I don't know what your plans were. 502 00:26:55,734 --> 00:26:58,534 But if you wanted to join us, we could get an extra ticket. 503 00:26:58,667 --> 00:27:01,701 So there's a full dinner and live music. 504 00:27:01,834 --> 00:27:04,100 Yeah, the DJ, Tom and orchestra's playing. 505 00:27:04,233 --> 00:27:06,901 That's cool. Um, actually, Kyle and I planned 506 00:27:07,034 --> 00:27:09,068 this big ski trip for New Year's. 507 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,567 I thought he might have told you guys about it. 508 00:27:11,701 --> 00:27:13,267 - No, no. - Hey, Kyle? 509 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,434 - KYLE: Yeah? - Come in here for a second? 510 00:27:15,567 --> 00:27:16,968 Sure. 511 00:27:18,567 --> 00:27:20,034 Are you drinking right now? 512 00:27:20,167 --> 00:27:22,901 Yeah, Kyle, you know the tickets for the Thomas Sullivan, 513 00:27:23,034 --> 00:27:25,567 they're nonrefundable, so maybe you could just push 514 00:27:25,701 --> 00:27:28,767 your dates back, for your trip, a couple days? 515 00:27:29,901 --> 00:27:32,100 No. 516 00:27:32,233 --> 00:27:35,667 Mm, I'm sorry, Mom. No. I... I'll pay for the tickets. 517 00:27:35,801 --> 00:27:38,334 Oh... Kyle, it's not about the money. 518 00:27:38,467 --> 00:27:40,267 What is it about? 519 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,400 - Family. You know, family? - Guys, can we...? 520 00:27:42,534 --> 00:27:44,001 Families spend holidays together. 521 00:27:44,133 --> 00:27:45,667 I agree. 522 00:27:46,968 --> 00:27:49,100 So, what did we decide, then? 523 00:27:49,233 --> 00:27:50,767 Should I get another ticket? 524 00:27:50,901 --> 00:27:51,801 - No. - No. 525 00:27:51,934 --> 00:27:54,233 - Okay. - Kyle, can...? 526 00:27:54,367 --> 00:27:56,300 You need to tell her. Now. 527 00:27:56,434 --> 00:27:58,434 Okay. 528 00:27:58,567 --> 00:27:59,968 Um... 529 00:28:01,100 --> 00:28:04,200 We're getting married. 530 00:28:04,334 --> 00:28:05,300 [CHUCKLES] 531 00:28:05,434 --> 00:28:06,867 Well, congratulations. 532 00:28:07,001 --> 00:28:09,968 - Thank you. - Congratulations. 533 00:28:10,100 --> 00:28:12,534 - Congratulations. - Wow. 534 00:28:12,667 --> 00:28:15,100 - DANI: What's happening? - Um, they're getting married. 535 00:28:15,233 --> 00:28:16,567 Oh, my God. 536 00:28:16,701 --> 00:28:18,300 - Yay, sisters! - Yay. 537 00:28:18,434 --> 00:28:20,767 - Oh, my God. - What? 538 00:28:20,901 --> 00:28:22,200 We're getting married. 539 00:28:22,334 --> 00:28:24,200 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 540 00:28:24,334 --> 00:28:27,434 - Oh, my God. Let me see the ring. - Oh, it's... I'm designing it. 541 00:28:27,567 --> 00:28:28,901 - Wow. - Yeah. 542 00:28:29,034 --> 00:28:31,267 - Wait, they're getting married? - You did great. 543 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:32,968 Oh, my God. 544 00:28:33,100 --> 00:28:34,734 What's going on? 545 00:28:34,867 --> 00:28:37,467 Kyle got engaged, Grandma. 546 00:28:37,601 --> 00:28:39,734 Oh, my God. 547 00:28:39,867 --> 00:28:42,100 Grandma. I'm getting married. 548 00:28:42,233 --> 00:28:44,267 - Wow. Nice. - Yeah. 549 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,434 - Marissa. - Hi. 550 00:28:46,567 --> 00:28:49,901 - Oh, yeah, nice to meet you. - MARISSA: We've met. 551 00:28:50,034 --> 00:28:51,300 [GRANDMA CHUCKLES] 552 00:28:51,434 --> 00:28:52,634 Mom, I'm sorry. 553 00:28:52,767 --> 00:28:54,634 - I was gonna tell you sooner. - It's okay. 554 00:28:54,767 --> 00:28:56,233 I'm happy if you're happy. 555 00:28:56,367 --> 00:28:59,500 - Okay. Thanks. - Are you happy? 556 00:28:59,634 --> 00:29:01,400 - Yes. - Good. 557 00:29:01,534 --> 00:29:03,367 I'm really sorry about all the things 558 00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:06,601 that I said about her before. It's just you're my only son. 559 00:29:06,734 --> 00:29:10,934 And I want what's best for you. All right? And I love you. 560 00:29:11,068 --> 00:29:12,934 I love you too, Mom. 561 00:29:17,167 --> 00:29:19,634 I invited Mike for Christmas. 562 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:23,767 - What? - Yes. 563 00:29:23,901 --> 00:29:25,601 You invited Mike? What are you doing? 564 00:29:25,734 --> 00:29:27,233 I did, I know. Listen to me. 565 00:29:27,367 --> 00:29:28,901 Nothing's gonna make that okay. 566 00:29:29,034 --> 00:29:30,534 But he is not doing well. 567 00:29:30,667 --> 00:29:31,901 He has no family. 568 00:29:32,034 --> 00:29:34,068 We were his only family. Now he has no one. 569 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,467 He should have thought about that before he fu... 570 00:29:36,601 --> 00:29:37,801 Wait, I taught you... 571 00:29:37,934 --> 00:29:39,400 Are we having this conversation? 572 00:29:39,534 --> 00:29:41,434 ...how to be compassionate and forgiving, 573 00:29:41,567 --> 00:29:44,801 so maybe you should look at this as a test to see if you can... 574 00:29:44,934 --> 00:29:46,334 - No! - What? 575 00:29:46,467 --> 00:29:48,400 - No, no, no, Gertie! - KYLE: Oh, my gosh! 576 00:29:48,534 --> 00:29:50,267 - Gertie, really? - BIANCA: What happened? 577 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,467 - KYLE: She ate the turkey! - Goddamn it, Gertie! 578 00:29:52,601 --> 00:29:53,767 JIM: No, no. 579 00:29:53,901 --> 00:29:55,901 Outside. 580 00:29:56,034 --> 00:29:58,068 ♪ I found a way ♪ 581 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:03,734 ♪ To help me understand ♪ 582 00:30:03,867 --> 00:30:09,200 ♪ I've got This drinkin' thing ♪ 583 00:30:09,334 --> 00:30:13,734 ♪ To keep From thinkin' things ♪ 584 00:30:13,867 --> 00:30:16,367 ♪ About where you've been ♪ 585 00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:20,601 ♪ Who you've been with And what you've done ♪ 586 00:30:22,267 --> 00:30:27,634 ♪ And it's a lonely thing ♪ 587 00:30:27,767 --> 00:30:30,300 ♪ But it's the only thing ♪ 588 00:30:30,434 --> 00:30:31,701 [ENGINE SHUTS OFF] 589 00:30:31,834 --> 00:30:35,068 ♪ To keep a foolish man ♪ 590 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,634 ♪ In love hanging on ♪ 591 00:30:40,133 --> 00:30:41,734 [SIGHS] 592 00:30:41,867 --> 00:30:44,334 ♪ If I wait up at home ♪ 593 00:30:44,467 --> 00:30:48,834 ♪ I'll only ask her questions ♪ 594 00:30:51,267 --> 00:30:56,334 ♪ She'd probably Tell the truth... ♪ 595 00:30:56,467 --> 00:30:57,934 Oh, fuck. 596 00:30:58,068 --> 00:30:59,968 [BELCHES] 597 00:31:00,100 --> 00:31:01,233 [GROANS] 598 00:31:01,367 --> 00:31:02,767 Shit. 599 00:31:02,901 --> 00:31:07,434 ♪ So I sit here On this barstool ♪ 600 00:31:07,567 --> 00:31:09,133 ♪ Feelin' helpless ♪ 601 00:31:09,267 --> 00:31:10,867 [SIGHS LOUDLY] 602 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:16,367 ♪ And wonder just how long ♪ 603 00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:20,467 ♪ A man can last... ♪ 604 00:31:20,601 --> 00:31:23,100 [SNIFFS, SIGHING] 605 00:31:25,367 --> 00:31:29,901 ♪ To keep From thinkin' things ♪ 606 00:31:30,034 --> 00:31:32,567 ♪ About where you've been ♪ 607 00:31:32,701 --> 00:31:37,400 ♪ Who you've been with And what you've done ♪ 608 00:31:37,534 --> 00:31:39,267 - [IGNITION CLICKS] - [SIGHS] 609 00:31:41,968 --> 00:31:43,434 [GROANS] 610 00:31:54,233 --> 00:31:56,400 [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE] 611 00:31:59,567 --> 00:32:01,567 MARK: Okay, here's what you do. 612 00:32:01,701 --> 00:32:04,267 Keep a small bottle of vodka in your glove compartment. 613 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:08,367 And when you get in an accident, slam that bottle of vodka down. 614 00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:10,634 - Yeah? Wow. - Right in front of them. 615 00:32:10,767 --> 00:32:12,801 That way, they can't prove you were drunk 616 00:32:12,934 --> 00:32:14,300 before or after the accident. 617 00:32:14,434 --> 00:32:16,767 - So this is real-world advice? - Foolproof. 618 00:32:16,901 --> 00:32:19,968 - SUZI: Yeah. Dani, get the door! - I'm coming. 619 00:32:20,100 --> 00:32:22,467 I always wondered what it'd be like to run a train. 620 00:32:22,601 --> 00:32:23,968 Oh, hey, Gertie. 621 00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:26,400 Oh, my God. Mike, hey. 622 00:32:26,534 --> 00:32:28,300 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, Dani. 623 00:32:28,434 --> 00:32:30,701 - Hey, come in. - Hey. 624 00:32:30,834 --> 00:32:32,267 - Good to see you. - You too. 625 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,601 Food in the dining room, drinks in the kitchen. 626 00:32:34,734 --> 00:32:38,667 - MIKE: Okay, thanks. - Sure. Come on, Gertie. 627 00:32:38,801 --> 00:32:40,968 - Is that Michael? - Hey, Grandma. 628 00:32:41,100 --> 00:32:43,100 - What happened? - I don't know. 629 00:32:43,233 --> 00:32:45,233 - Oh. - Whoa. 630 00:32:45,367 --> 00:32:48,834 But listen to me, you gotta go get a haircut, okay? 631 00:32:48,968 --> 00:32:52,667 Oh, this guy doesn't need a haircut. He's a lady-killer. 632 00:32:52,801 --> 00:32:55,801 He's like a hawk, he just swoops in. 633 00:32:55,934 --> 00:32:58,400 - You doing all right? - Yeah, I'm okay, Uncle Mark. 634 00:32:58,534 --> 00:33:01,267 - Know the cheesecake you love? - JIM: Kid's only a freshman. 635 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,968 He doesn't have a rocket arm yet, but he's got great feet. 636 00:33:05,100 --> 00:33:06,934 Suzi and I drove up to the Carrier Dome 637 00:33:07,068 --> 00:33:09,567 to watch him in the state game. 638 00:33:09,701 --> 00:33:12,734 - He's got offers from Rutgers... - DANI: Hey, Dad, look who's here. 639 00:33:12,867 --> 00:33:15,467 - Oh, my God. Mike. - Hey. 640 00:33:15,601 --> 00:33:17,434 Oh, it's great to see you, kiddo. 641 00:33:17,567 --> 00:33:19,767 - Good to see you, Jim. - You too. 642 00:33:19,901 --> 00:33:22,467 Just telling George about this new freshman quarterback 643 00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:24,200 they got at your college. 644 00:33:24,334 --> 00:33:26,434 - Have you seen this kid yet? - No, I haven't. 645 00:33:26,567 --> 00:33:27,767 - Want a drink? - Yeah. 646 00:33:27,901 --> 00:33:29,601 - Take mine. I just made it. - Thank you. 647 00:33:29,734 --> 00:33:31,068 Your sweater's on backwards. 648 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,367 I'll never forget that game against Fox Lane. 649 00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:36,867 You faked that defensive end right out of his jockstrap. 650 00:33:37,001 --> 00:33:39,734 You guys made a great team. You ought to... 651 00:33:43,068 --> 00:33:45,300 - BIANCA: Hey, uh, Mike's here. - Okay. 652 00:33:45,434 --> 00:33:47,667 He's kind of fat, just a heads-up. 653 00:33:47,801 --> 00:33:49,734 Why would I need a heads-up? 654 00:33:49,867 --> 00:33:52,001 - Well... - Kyle, Mike's in the living room. 655 00:33:52,133 --> 00:33:53,834 - Yeah, I just told him. - He got fat. 656 00:33:53,968 --> 00:33:56,500 - Right? - Yeah. 657 00:33:56,634 --> 00:33:59,001 - You okay? - Yeah, fine. 658 00:33:59,133 --> 00:34:01,267 - Are you gonna talk to him? - I don't know, Dani. 659 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,901 - Where are you going? - How's the jewelry website going? 660 00:34:04,034 --> 00:34:05,767 Good. Kyle started working with me. 661 00:34:05,901 --> 00:34:09,634 Wow. I thought he already had a job. 662 00:34:09,767 --> 00:34:11,267 Yeah, I think he's gonna quit. 663 00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,100 We got so many orders this Christmas. 664 00:34:13,233 --> 00:34:14,968 Kyle got really good at gift wrapping. 665 00:34:15,100 --> 00:34:17,567 - You guys make a great team. - MARISSA: Yeah. 666 00:34:17,701 --> 00:34:19,901 I'm gonna get some air. 667 00:34:20,034 --> 00:34:22,701 JIM: Mike had that! He was a natural athlete. 668 00:34:22,834 --> 00:34:24,567 Shame he didn't play in college. 669 00:34:24,701 --> 00:34:26,434 - GRANDMA: Who? - JIM: Mike. 670 00:34:26,567 --> 00:34:29,701 Hey, what were you guys talking about? 671 00:34:29,834 --> 00:34:31,434 - Fashion. - Fashion? 672 00:34:31,567 --> 00:34:33,367 Does she know more about fashion than we do? 673 00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:34,734 [ALL LAUGH] 674 00:34:34,867 --> 00:34:36,801 Why are you trying to be friends with her? 675 00:34:36,934 --> 00:34:39,801 - She's cool. - How is she cool? 676 00:34:39,934 --> 00:34:42,100 - [GUESTS CHATTERING] - [CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING] 677 00:35:02,068 --> 00:35:04,133 JIM: Jim Harrison says, "I never understood 678 00:35:04,267 --> 00:35:07,601 the general acceptance of bad ham in America." 679 00:35:07,734 --> 00:35:10,100 And I gotta agree. I mean, think about it. 680 00:35:10,233 --> 00:35:13,400 When ham is really good, 681 00:35:13,534 --> 00:35:17,133 I mean, why do we need any more, huh? What's the point? 682 00:35:17,267 --> 00:35:19,801 It's so amazing 683 00:35:19,934 --> 00:35:23,767 to go to an actual ham-bake 684 00:35:23,901 --> 00:35:25,934 that, you know, dug a pit in the ground 685 00:35:26,068 --> 00:35:29,100 and there was like 50 hams in there... 686 00:35:30,901 --> 00:35:35,934 Pitchforks, they toss them around. Incredible. 687 00:35:36,068 --> 00:35:40,100 But most of the time, it's just that watery ham bullshit. 688 00:36:03,601 --> 00:36:05,068 MARISSA: Excuse me. 689 00:36:06,901 --> 00:36:09,634 Can you bring the firewood in from the side of the house 690 00:36:09,767 --> 00:36:12,500 - while you're out here? - Sure. 691 00:36:12,634 --> 00:36:16,068 Also, stop smoking. It's disgusting. 692 00:36:18,233 --> 00:36:21,300 WOMAN: Suzi, are you fucking kidding me? Why did you invite him? 693 00:36:21,434 --> 00:36:23,400 - SUZI: Because. - That's not a reason. 694 00:36:23,534 --> 00:36:25,934 - JIM: Look, he's family. - BIANCA: He's not family. 695 00:36:26,068 --> 00:36:28,968 He grew up with us, now he's ruining our lives... 696 00:36:29,100 --> 00:36:31,133 [BIANCA CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 697 00:36:58,634 --> 00:37:02,601 [RAY CONNIFF'S "CHRISTMAS BRIDE" PLAYING] 698 00:37:02,734 --> 00:37:05,968 ♪ Santa, make her ♪ 699 00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:10,400 ♪ My bride for Christmas ♪ 700 00:37:10,534 --> 00:37:17,400 ♪ Santa, it wouldn't Cost very much ♪ 701 00:37:17,534 --> 00:37:21,701 ♪ Just a sprinkle Of reindeer dust ♪ 702 00:37:21,834 --> 00:37:24,968 ♪ A sprig of mistletoe ♪ 703 00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:27,734 ♪ And the sound Of your laughter... ♪ 704 00:37:27,867 --> 00:37:31,068 - Hey. - Hey. 705 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,601 - Is that my football helmet? - Yeah. 706 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,367 I should have played in college. 707 00:37:38,734 --> 00:37:40,968 - Hey. - Hi. 708 00:37:43,068 --> 00:37:44,734 How's everything going? 709 00:37:44,867 --> 00:37:46,133 [BELCHES] 710 00:37:46,267 --> 00:37:47,867 Great. 711 00:37:48,001 --> 00:37:50,068 Yeah? 712 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:51,601 Yeah. 713 00:37:53,367 --> 00:37:55,300 What's great? 714 00:37:55,434 --> 00:37:57,567 Peaky Blinders. It's pretty great. 715 00:37:57,701 --> 00:37:58,968 Oh, okay. 716 00:37:59,100 --> 00:38:02,968 Uh, what else? Besides Peaky Blinders. 717 00:38:04,467 --> 00:38:06,467 That's about it. 718 00:38:06,601 --> 00:38:09,634 - What are you doing? - What do you mean? 719 00:38:09,767 --> 00:38:13,334 With your life. What are you doing? 720 00:38:13,467 --> 00:38:16,968 What is this? Is this, like, an intervention? 721 00:38:17,100 --> 00:38:20,300 Are you trying to have, like, a Christmas intervention on me? 722 00:38:20,434 --> 00:38:22,567 Yes, this is a Christmas intervention. 723 00:38:22,701 --> 00:38:27,034 Okay, well, thank you very much, but I don't want one. 724 00:38:29,034 --> 00:38:30,867 What do you want? 725 00:38:31,001 --> 00:38:32,801 Nothing. 726 00:38:32,934 --> 00:38:35,467 You want me to be, like, happy? 727 00:38:35,601 --> 00:38:39,867 And you wanna know that I'm okay and everything's okay? 728 00:38:40,001 --> 00:38:41,734 I'm not okay. 729 00:38:41,867 --> 00:38:43,934 You ever feel sorry for yourself? 730 00:38:44,068 --> 00:38:46,901 - All the time. - Yeah, stop doing that. 731 00:38:48,701 --> 00:38:51,367 Why did you invite me here? Your son hates me. 732 00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:54,534 - Yeah, he should hate you. - I know. I'm a bad friend. 733 00:38:54,667 --> 00:38:56,300 I'm like the shitty person. 734 00:38:56,434 --> 00:38:59,100 Okay, so fix it. 735 00:38:59,233 --> 00:39:00,300 How? 736 00:39:00,434 --> 00:39:03,601 Stop being selfish. 737 00:39:03,734 --> 00:39:07,634 What you did to him was selfish and he was destroyed by it. 738 00:39:07,767 --> 00:39:11,801 So stop thinking about yourself and how sad your life is 739 00:39:11,934 --> 00:39:13,300 and think about somebody else. 740 00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:16,400 You know, it just might make you feel good. 741 00:39:18,300 --> 00:39:21,500 - Okay. - Kyle is selfless. 742 00:39:21,634 --> 00:39:25,701 He always thinks about other people first. He always has. 743 00:39:25,834 --> 00:39:28,734 And people take advantage of that. 744 00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,968 And now... 745 00:39:31,100 --> 00:39:34,400 he's getting married, and I don't know. 746 00:39:34,534 --> 00:39:36,233 What do you mean? 747 00:39:36,367 --> 00:39:39,400 I mean, I don't know. 748 00:39:39,534 --> 00:39:42,367 - About Marissa? - Mm, yeah. 749 00:39:43,567 --> 00:39:45,233 I don't know. 750 00:39:47,734 --> 00:39:50,267 I'm glad you're here. 751 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,934 Sometimes when you think you're doing the right thing, 752 00:39:53,068 --> 00:39:55,601 it hurts the people you love. 753 00:39:55,734 --> 00:39:58,601 Then sometimes when you think you're doing the wrong thing, 754 00:39:58,734 --> 00:40:01,667 it's actually what's needed. 755 00:40:04,901 --> 00:40:09,601 If you want to be a part of this family, then act like it. 756 00:40:39,334 --> 00:40:40,801 [SIGHS] 757 00:40:44,567 --> 00:40:46,100 [CHUCKLES] 758 00:40:50,167 --> 00:40:52,801 SUZI: Might get well tonight. 759 00:40:52,934 --> 00:40:54,100 JIM: What'd he do? 760 00:40:54,233 --> 00:40:55,734 SUZI: What are you talking about? 761 00:40:55,867 --> 00:40:57,133 JIM: Like for a job? 762 00:40:57,267 --> 00:40:59,267 - KYLE: Hey, Mike. - MIKE: Hey, Kyle. 763 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,133 - Merry Christmas. - [SLURRING] Merry Christmas... 764 00:41:02,267 --> 00:41:04,801 - Aah! Oh, my God! Mike. - SUZI: What happened? 765 00:41:04,934 --> 00:41:06,400 - Mike. - Oh, my God. Dad! 766 00:41:06,534 --> 00:41:07,667 Give him some room. 767 00:41:07,801 --> 00:41:09,267 - DANI: Dad. - Let's get him over. 768 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,267 - Holy shit. - How much did he have to drink? 769 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:15,167 - BIANCA: I gave him one eggnog. - JIM: How strong was it? 770 00:41:15,300 --> 00:41:16,667 GRANDMA: Is he dead? 771 00:41:16,801 --> 00:41:18,968 - Yeah, pretty strong. - Give him some water. 772 00:41:19,100 --> 00:41:21,100 JIM: He'll be all right. He's gonna be fine. 773 00:41:21,233 --> 00:41:23,667 I've seen him take bigger hits than that. 774 00:41:23,801 --> 00:41:26,400 - Just leave him. - Is that Mike? 775 00:41:26,534 --> 00:41:28,300 Yeah. 776 00:41:28,434 --> 00:41:31,068 He got fat. 777 00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,267 - He looks bad. - Maybe he just lost his balance. 778 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,267 I don't know about that table. 779 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,601 I should really spend some more time with him. 780 00:41:37,734 --> 00:41:40,100 - Should we pull him up? - Yeah, I guess we should... 781 00:41:40,233 --> 00:41:41,767 Put him in a bed or something? 782 00:41:41,901 --> 00:41:45,467 - I think he's fine right here. - No, no, no! 783 00:41:45,601 --> 00:41:48,267 [NICOLE MARTIN'S "OUI PARAIT T'IL" PLAYING] 784 00:42:43,267 --> 00:42:44,901 No, she quit. 785 00:42:57,100 --> 00:42:59,701 Remember the blizzard of '96? 786 00:42:59,834 --> 00:43:01,734 Yeah. 787 00:43:01,867 --> 00:43:03,601 That was crazy. 788 00:43:05,534 --> 00:43:07,267 So glad you made it out. 789 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,500 Yeah, man. Thanks for inviting me. 790 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,167 Are the boots supposed to hurt so much? 791 00:43:15,300 --> 00:43:17,801 Yeah. 792 00:43:17,934 --> 00:43:20,167 You know mountains that allow skiing and snowboarding? 793 00:43:20,300 --> 00:43:21,601 Yeah, they're too crowded, 794 00:43:21,734 --> 00:43:24,434 and the snowboarders push off all the snow. 795 00:43:24,567 --> 00:43:26,467 Kyle's a snowboarder. 796 00:43:26,601 --> 00:43:29,167 Yeah, well, he's skiing now. 797 00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:32,334 It's fine. I'm learning how to ski, it's fine. 798 00:43:35,734 --> 00:43:38,634 - Hey, we should do Catapult next. - Okay. 799 00:43:38,767 --> 00:43:41,601 That's a black diamond. I don't think you're ready for that. 800 00:43:41,734 --> 00:43:43,701 - Okay. - It's a hill. You just go down. 801 00:43:43,834 --> 00:43:45,467 Yeah, but he's gonna crash. 802 00:43:45,601 --> 00:43:47,734 It's snow. If he crashes, it's snow. 803 00:43:47,867 --> 00:43:50,467 - I'd rather not crash. - Kyle, no one wants to crash. 804 00:43:50,601 --> 00:43:53,801 - Sorry, what is your point? - We're here on the mountain 805 00:43:53,934 --> 00:43:57,467 and we're going down the bunny slopes with all the children, 806 00:43:57,601 --> 00:43:59,567 and, Kyle, you're a natural athlete. 807 00:43:59,701 --> 00:44:01,233 - Thanks, man. - Yeah. 808 00:44:01,367 --> 00:44:02,734 You can do any of these runs. 809 00:44:02,867 --> 00:44:04,100 I mean, look at that cliff. 810 00:44:04,233 --> 00:44:05,834 Okay, great. Um, Kyle, listen to me. 811 00:44:05,967 --> 00:44:09,434 It's your choice, but I wouldn't do it. 812 00:44:15,467 --> 00:44:18,334 Can we just do A Cat's Meow a couple more times? 813 00:44:18,467 --> 00:44:20,567 - Yeah, cool. - Sweet. 814 00:44:23,233 --> 00:44:25,133 I'm doing Catapult. 815 00:44:25,267 --> 00:44:27,467 [BERNARD ESTARDY'S "MONSIEUR DUTOUR" PLAYING] 816 00:44:34,701 --> 00:44:36,534 Oh. 817 00:44:36,667 --> 00:44:38,734 MIKE: Drink. 818 00:44:38,867 --> 00:44:41,034 - Drink. - KYLE: Okay. All right. 819 00:44:42,934 --> 00:44:45,068 - But you already know that. - I know. 820 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,601 Okay, never have I ever had Lyme disease. 821 00:44:47,734 --> 00:44:49,233 You have had Lyme disease though. 822 00:44:49,367 --> 00:44:51,133 Yeah, but you haven't. 823 00:44:51,267 --> 00:44:53,400 I know. That's not how this game works. Drink. 824 00:44:53,534 --> 00:44:55,968 - KYLE: What? Again? - MIKE: Yeah. 825 00:44:56,100 --> 00:44:58,467 Can we just try playing a different game? 826 00:44:58,601 --> 00:45:00,267 - What? - Rock, Paper, Scissors. 827 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,334 Okay, so if I win, you have to drink. 828 00:45:02,467 --> 00:45:05,767 Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. 829 00:45:05,901 --> 00:45:08,167 Again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. 830 00:45:08,300 --> 00:45:12,300 - Drink! Ready? Rock, paper... - No, no, I'm done. I'm done. 831 00:45:12,434 --> 00:45:14,500 Never have I ever been caught streaking. 832 00:45:14,634 --> 00:45:16,233 What? We did that together. 833 00:45:16,367 --> 00:45:18,634 - But I didn't get caught. - It was your idea. Okay. 834 00:45:18,767 --> 00:45:21,100 I had to spend so much time with the school counselor 835 00:45:21,233 --> 00:45:22,734 doing, like, morality training. 836 00:45:22,867 --> 00:45:25,133 Everyone was like, "Why is Kyle's butt so small?" 837 00:45:25,267 --> 00:45:27,467 It's disproportionate with your body. 838 00:45:27,601 --> 00:45:29,634 Never have I ever been ice fishing. 839 00:45:29,767 --> 00:45:32,233 I've never been ice fishing. I want to. 840 00:45:32,367 --> 00:45:34,634 Never have I ever been allergic to peanut butter. 841 00:45:34,767 --> 00:45:37,100 Now you're just listing allergies you know I have. 842 00:45:37,233 --> 00:45:38,400 Drink. 843 00:45:38,534 --> 00:45:40,534 Okay, uh, what are you allergic to? 844 00:45:40,667 --> 00:45:41,801 I'm not gonna tell you. 845 00:45:41,934 --> 00:45:43,701 - What are you guys doing? - Jagermeister. 846 00:45:43,834 --> 00:45:45,300 - Why? - Because it's a ski trip 847 00:45:45,434 --> 00:45:46,767 and it has alcohol in it. 848 00:45:46,901 --> 00:45:48,634 - Wait, where's the cheese? - What cheese? 849 00:45:48,767 --> 00:45:50,867 The cheese that I... The large block of cheese 850 00:45:51,001 --> 00:45:52,434 that I just brought out. 851 00:45:52,567 --> 00:45:55,867 - Was I not supposed to eat it? - No, it was for the bread. 852 00:45:56,001 --> 00:45:58,901 - What bread? - The bread that I'm making. 853 00:46:02,233 --> 00:46:04,701 - Thanks, babe. - Okay, never have I ever 854 00:46:04,834 --> 00:46:07,034 been questioned about how I was touching a dog. 855 00:46:07,167 --> 00:46:08,767 - That never happened. - I'm not saying 856 00:46:08,901 --> 00:46:10,634 you inappropriately touched a dog. 857 00:46:10,767 --> 00:46:12,300 Never have I ever been questioned, 858 00:46:12,434 --> 00:46:14,001 "What are you doing with that dog?" 859 00:46:14,133 --> 00:46:15,300 Okay. 860 00:46:15,434 --> 00:46:17,267 [LAUGHS] 861 00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:21,001 You just keep asking me things you know the answers to already. 862 00:46:21,133 --> 00:46:24,068 - Yeah, I know. That's the point. - Okay. 863 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:26,233 All right, well, then, uh, never have I ever 864 00:46:26,367 --> 00:46:29,133 warmed up chicken cutlets to masturbate. 865 00:46:31,767 --> 00:46:34,267 - There you go. - Oh! See? It's, like... 866 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:36,100 super simple if you just understand... 867 00:46:36,233 --> 00:46:37,734 Are you playing Never Have I Ever 868 00:46:37,867 --> 00:46:40,467 - with two people right now? - Yeah, we're catching up. 869 00:46:40,601 --> 00:46:42,934 - Do you wanna play? - No. I just want to relax 870 00:46:43,068 --> 00:46:45,434 and have a glass of wine like an adult. 871 00:46:45,567 --> 00:46:47,434 If you do wine and Jagermeister together, 872 00:46:47,567 --> 00:46:49,701 - it's a whole experience. - I won't. 873 00:46:49,834 --> 00:46:53,100 - Oh, this looks good, babe. - Thanks. 874 00:46:53,233 --> 00:46:55,400 Okay, I got one. 875 00:46:55,534 --> 00:47:00,400 Never have I ever given a hand job after junior prom 876 00:47:00,534 --> 00:47:04,233 at John Nicola's party, heh-heh-heh-heh, to, uh... 877 00:47:04,367 --> 00:47:05,968 - Kevin. - You bitch. 878 00:47:06,100 --> 00:47:08,467 ...Kevin Farrell. Ha-ha-ha! 879 00:47:08,601 --> 00:47:10,233 Never did I ever give a hand job 880 00:47:10,367 --> 00:47:14,901 to Kevin Farrell after junior prom. Drink. Drink. 881 00:47:15,034 --> 00:47:17,334 Kyle, will you help me with the kitchen? 882 00:47:17,467 --> 00:47:19,934 Okay. 883 00:47:20,068 --> 00:47:23,167 Never have I ever been asked to help with the kitchen. 884 00:47:23,300 --> 00:47:25,133 Okay, Mike. 885 00:47:26,601 --> 00:47:29,233 Mm. All right. 886 00:47:30,467 --> 00:47:31,601 Ow! 887 00:47:33,300 --> 00:47:35,801 [DISHES CLATTERING] 888 00:47:35,934 --> 00:47:37,400 Really? 889 00:47:39,034 --> 00:47:40,834 I'm sorry about... 890 00:47:42,001 --> 00:47:43,534 [SIGHS] 891 00:47:45,233 --> 00:47:47,601 - Oh, my God! - I just took it out of the oven. 892 00:47:47,734 --> 00:47:49,467 - It's so hot. - Put your... 893 00:47:49,601 --> 00:47:52,567 Why would it be so hot? 894 00:47:52,701 --> 00:47:54,200 Why is he still here? 895 00:47:54,334 --> 00:47:56,233 He was only supposed to stay for the day. 896 00:47:56,367 --> 00:47:58,400 - But he broke his wrist. - Yeah, I'm aware. 897 00:47:58,534 --> 00:48:00,534 We were in the hospital for four hours. 898 00:48:00,667 --> 00:48:03,133 He has a car. He'll leave. 899 00:48:03,267 --> 00:48:06,034 Yeah, but he's on painkillers and now he's drunk, so... 900 00:48:06,167 --> 00:48:08,801 - Yeah, you're drinking with him. - Yeah, so? 901 00:48:08,934 --> 00:48:11,300 I just want to be drunk with you 902 00:48:11,434 --> 00:48:14,667 and, like, be naked 903 00:48:14,801 --> 00:48:18,467 in every room and, like, have sex everywhere. 904 00:48:18,601 --> 00:48:19,934 Okay. 905 00:48:23,534 --> 00:48:25,667 Look, he's... He's gotta go. 906 00:48:25,801 --> 00:48:27,400 Yeah, he's gonna go tomorrow, so... 907 00:48:27,534 --> 00:48:32,068 No, no, no, no. I mean, like, he's gotta go away. 908 00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:34,901 Like, somewhere else that's... 909 00:48:35,034 --> 00:48:37,400 like, not in our lives. 910 00:48:38,534 --> 00:48:41,133 But he's my friend. 911 00:48:41,267 --> 00:48:42,167 [SIGHS] 912 00:48:42,300 --> 00:48:43,667 I know. 913 00:48:45,334 --> 00:48:47,068 You're the best. 914 00:48:48,500 --> 00:48:51,801 But I can't do this. 915 00:48:51,934 --> 00:48:55,233 MIKE: Hey, you guys have any more wine? 916 00:48:55,367 --> 00:48:57,200 Uh, you finished that guy? 917 00:48:57,334 --> 00:48:59,567 - I did, yeah. - That's impressive. 918 00:48:59,701 --> 00:49:01,634 - Thank you. - Uh, yeah. We do have more wine. 919 00:49:01,767 --> 00:49:04,034 It's in the fridge. You just help yourself. 920 00:49:04,167 --> 00:49:06,200 That's mine. 921 00:49:06,334 --> 00:49:07,534 You have a... 922 00:49:08,667 --> 00:49:12,400 Kyle, I'm gonna go to bed. 923 00:49:12,534 --> 00:49:15,068 - KYLE: Okay. - MIKE: Good night! 924 00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:18,233 Twist top. Sweet. 925 00:49:18,367 --> 00:49:21,133 Wow. Whole thing? 926 00:49:21,267 --> 00:49:22,901 Yeah. 927 00:49:25,801 --> 00:49:28,367 Why do you have to be like this? 928 00:49:28,500 --> 00:49:30,901 Like what? 929 00:49:31,034 --> 00:49:32,901 - A fuckup. - Oh, fuck! It's hot. 930 00:49:33,034 --> 00:49:35,167 [GROANING] 931 00:49:37,467 --> 00:49:39,300 All right, listen, I'm going to bed. 932 00:49:39,434 --> 00:49:43,834 Uh, the pillow and blanket are behind the couch, so... 933 00:49:43,968 --> 00:49:48,068 Wait, wait, Kyle, Kyle. Where are you going? 934 00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:49,767 Going to bed. 935 00:49:51,567 --> 00:49:54,267 - But it's New Year's Eve. - Yeah, I'm aware. 936 00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:58,767 - So are you gonna have sex? - That's none of your business. 937 00:49:58,901 --> 00:50:00,367 But it's almost midnight. 938 00:50:00,500 --> 00:50:01,968 So if you're not gonna have sex, 939 00:50:02,133 --> 00:50:05,233 we should bang pots and pans. 940 00:50:05,367 --> 00:50:06,734 - Going to bed. - It's a tradition. 941 00:50:06,867 --> 00:50:08,400 If you're not gonna bang with her, 942 00:50:08,534 --> 00:50:10,801 we should bang pots and pans. 943 00:50:10,934 --> 00:50:12,734 I'm going to bed, Mike. Happy New Year. 944 00:50:12,867 --> 00:50:14,434 Happy New Year. 945 00:50:17,701 --> 00:50:20,167 Wait, wait. Wait, Kyle. Kyle? 946 00:50:21,267 --> 00:50:22,734 Yeah? 947 00:50:22,867 --> 00:50:25,467 Hey, man. 948 00:50:25,601 --> 00:50:28,901 I just wanna say, like, um... Like, thank you. 949 00:50:29,034 --> 00:50:31,167 You know, for, um, having me here. 950 00:50:31,300 --> 00:50:33,400 And, uh... 951 00:50:33,534 --> 00:50:36,334 You know, for being, like, friends again. 952 00:50:36,467 --> 00:50:38,767 - You're welcome. - Yeah. 953 00:50:38,901 --> 00:50:41,500 I'm trying to be less selfish. You know? 954 00:50:41,634 --> 00:50:43,001 Right. Yeah. 955 00:50:43,133 --> 00:50:45,500 And, like, think about others before myself. 956 00:50:45,634 --> 00:50:47,834 Um, and I think about you a lot. 957 00:50:47,968 --> 00:50:50,400 You know, and... And it's like... 958 00:50:50,534 --> 00:50:52,233 I know you guys are engaged 959 00:50:52,367 --> 00:50:54,400 and you're gonna get married and everything. 960 00:50:54,534 --> 00:50:57,367 Um, but, you know, I don't know. 961 00:50:57,500 --> 00:50:59,200 What does that mean? 962 00:51:00,434 --> 00:51:03,434 I... I don't know. 963 00:51:03,567 --> 00:51:06,934 I just, like, wanna fix things with us, you know? 964 00:51:07,068 --> 00:51:09,267 And, um... 965 00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,100 Sometimes when you're trying to do the right thing, 966 00:51:12,233 --> 00:51:15,400 it's the wrong thing. Do you know what I mean? 967 00:51:15,534 --> 00:51:17,467 No. 968 00:51:17,601 --> 00:51:19,267 Okay. Yeah. 969 00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:22,801 - Right. Okay. - Okay. 970 00:51:25,467 --> 00:51:27,901 - Well, good night. - Good night. 971 00:51:28,034 --> 00:51:30,068 Never have I ever been named Kyle. 972 00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:31,767 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 973 00:51:39,100 --> 00:51:40,901 [BELCHES] 974 00:51:41,034 --> 00:51:43,601 [FANTASTICUS' "RUNNING OFF THE ROAD" PLAYING] 975 00:52:27,466 --> 00:52:28,601 [MUSIC STOPS] 976 00:52:28,734 --> 00:52:30,601 [TOOTHBRUSH SCRUBBING] 977 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:35,567 [MARISSA SPITS] 978 00:52:44,734 --> 00:52:46,634 [WATER RUNNING] 979 00:52:51,133 --> 00:52:52,500 [WATER SHUTS OFF] 980 00:53:01,068 --> 00:53:02,534 Kyle. 981 00:53:04,068 --> 00:53:06,367 Kyle. Kyle. 982 00:53:07,500 --> 00:53:09,034 Kyle, wake up. 983 00:53:10,267 --> 00:53:12,400 Kyle, wake up. Kyle. 984 00:53:13,534 --> 00:53:17,434 Kyle, wake up, you bitch. 985 00:53:17,567 --> 00:53:21,100 Wake up, I wanna do butt stuff. Kyle. 986 00:53:22,434 --> 00:53:24,100 [MARISSA SIGHS] 987 00:53:33,968 --> 00:53:34,934 [SUCKS TEETH] 988 00:53:35,068 --> 00:53:36,267 [WHISPERS] Fuck. 989 00:53:38,233 --> 00:53:39,634 [SIGHS] 990 00:53:41,300 --> 00:53:43,634 [POTS BANGING] 991 00:53:43,767 --> 00:53:46,233 MIKE [YELLING]: Happy New Year! 992 00:53:54,034 --> 00:53:56,267 MIKE: That's when I realized he's my best friend. 993 00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:58,534 - Wow. - Yeah. 994 00:54:00,267 --> 00:54:03,400 Why are you marrying him? 995 00:54:03,534 --> 00:54:05,100 [COUGHING] 996 00:54:07,034 --> 00:54:11,367 Um, well, because, um... 997 00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:16,634 he is loyal and he's a good person. 998 00:54:16,767 --> 00:54:20,867 And he's, uh... will always be there, and... 999 00:54:21,001 --> 00:54:22,934 I don't know. And the sex is great. 1000 00:54:23,068 --> 00:54:25,767 I don't know. Why did you marry your wife? 1001 00:54:25,901 --> 00:54:27,601 Because I loved her. 1002 00:54:27,734 --> 00:54:29,634 [♪♪♪] 1003 00:54:35,267 --> 00:54:37,068 How's your brother Ronnie doing? 1004 00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:38,500 - He's good. He's better. - Yeah? 1005 00:54:38,634 --> 00:54:40,767 Mm-hm. 1006 00:54:40,901 --> 00:54:43,434 Is he still dealing drugs? 1007 00:54:44,767 --> 00:54:46,267 No, I don't think so. 1008 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:48,567 They weren't drugs. It was painkillers. 1009 00:54:48,701 --> 00:54:49,901 [CHUCKLES] 1010 00:54:51,300 --> 00:54:52,968 He was so much fun in high school. 1011 00:54:53,100 --> 00:54:54,968 Heh. Yeah. 1012 00:54:55,100 --> 00:54:57,934 Yeah. You were fun in high school too though. 1013 00:54:58,068 --> 00:55:00,034 - Was I? - Yeah. 1014 00:55:00,167 --> 00:55:02,968 Yeah, I mean, there were things about you, 1015 00:55:03,100 --> 00:55:07,467 you know, that were fun, like when you... 1016 00:55:07,601 --> 00:55:10,701 weren't being yourself. 1017 00:55:10,834 --> 00:55:12,200 [LAUGHING] 1018 00:55:12,334 --> 00:55:14,734 - I'm just kidding. - Fuck you. 1019 00:55:14,867 --> 00:55:18,100 I know. No, I just feel like... 1020 00:55:18,233 --> 00:55:21,634 I feel like we had, like, a connection, you know? At... 1021 00:55:21,767 --> 00:55:23,701 At one time or another. 1022 00:55:23,834 --> 00:55:27,400 - You think so? All right. - Yeah. Yeah. 1023 00:55:27,534 --> 00:55:30,767 Like, we're both like these... 1024 00:55:30,901 --> 00:55:33,133 very primal creatures, you know? 1025 00:55:33,267 --> 00:55:34,834 [BOTH LAUGHING] 1026 00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:41,767 Fuck! What? 1027 00:55:45,434 --> 00:55:47,300 [WHISPERING] What the fuck? 1028 00:55:51,734 --> 00:55:53,801 What the fuck was that? 1029 00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:01,901 [NORMAL VOICE] What the fuck was that? Hey. Hey. 1030 00:56:02,034 --> 00:56:03,968 Hey, what the fuck was that? 1031 00:56:04,100 --> 00:56:07,133 What did you do...? Why did you do that? 1032 00:56:07,267 --> 00:56:10,034 Look at me. Did you want to kiss me? 1033 00:56:10,167 --> 00:56:11,534 No. 1034 00:56:12,834 --> 00:56:14,300 [WHISPERS] Fuck you. 1035 00:56:17,267 --> 00:56:20,601 So, what did you think was gonna happen? 1036 00:56:20,734 --> 00:56:22,534 Did you...? Like, you would seduce me 1037 00:56:22,667 --> 00:56:24,734 and we would fuck and then...? 1038 00:56:24,867 --> 00:56:28,601 And then Kyle would just call off the wedding? 1039 00:56:28,734 --> 00:56:30,934 Is that what you thought? 1040 00:56:31,068 --> 00:56:34,734 Yeah, like, hopefully. 1041 00:56:34,867 --> 00:56:36,968 You dumb fuck. 1042 00:56:37,100 --> 00:56:38,334 [SCOFFS] 1043 00:56:39,901 --> 00:56:42,901 Because you know what? If we did have sex, 1044 00:56:43,034 --> 00:56:44,834 he wouldn't break up with me. 1045 00:56:44,968 --> 00:56:47,467 He would break up with you. 1046 00:56:47,601 --> 00:56:49,300 - You wanna fuck me? Go ahead. - No. 1047 00:56:49,434 --> 00:56:50,634 - No. No! - Go ahead, big guy. 1048 00:56:50,767 --> 00:56:52,068 - No! - Fucking kiss me. 1049 00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:53,934 - Fuck me. - I don't want to. 1050 00:56:54,068 --> 00:56:55,968 Fuck you! 1051 00:56:56,100 --> 00:57:00,601 Follow through with your master plan, you sick fuck! 1052 00:57:00,734 --> 00:57:02,934 - Fuck is wrong with you? - Ow! 1053 00:57:03,068 --> 00:57:04,534 - Fuck! - Does that hurt? 1054 00:57:04,667 --> 00:57:06,934 You are just dead weight from his childhood 1055 00:57:07,068 --> 00:57:09,534 that he's too fucking nice to... 1056 00:57:09,667 --> 00:57:11,934 Fuck off of me! 1057 00:57:12,068 --> 00:57:16,701 You fat, sad, pathetic fuck! Fuck! 1058 00:57:16,834 --> 00:57:18,300 [BOTH YELL] 1059 00:57:18,434 --> 00:57:21,601 [GILBERT BECAUD'S "TOO GOOD" PLAYING] 1060 00:57:26,334 --> 00:57:28,233 ♪ Too good ♪ 1061 00:57:28,367 --> 00:57:30,434 ♪ This is too good ♪ 1062 00:57:30,567 --> 00:57:32,901 ♪ Too good to last ♪ 1063 00:57:33,034 --> 00:57:34,968 ♪ It can't go on... ♪ 1064 00:57:35,100 --> 00:57:36,634 [ENGINE SHUTS OFF] 1065 00:57:39,233 --> 00:57:41,300 KYLE: What the fuck? What the fuck? 1066 00:57:41,434 --> 00:57:42,901 [ALL GRUNTING] 1067 00:57:44,701 --> 00:57:47,834 You fuckers. What the fuck are you doing? 1068 00:57:47,968 --> 00:57:49,334 Get the fuck off me! 1069 00:57:49,467 --> 00:57:51,634 Get the fuck off of me! You son of a... 1070 00:57:51,767 --> 00:57:53,934 [KYLE GASPING] 1071 00:57:57,300 --> 00:57:59,434 - Shit, my phone. - Unh! 1072 00:57:59,567 --> 00:58:01,167 [KYLE GROANING] 1073 00:58:07,567 --> 00:58:08,968 Come on. 1074 00:58:11,434 --> 00:58:13,068 Come on. 1075 00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:15,567 Thank you very much! All right. 1076 00:58:17,233 --> 00:58:18,400 KYLE: Fuck! 1077 00:58:18,534 --> 00:58:19,968 Come on. 1078 00:58:22,934 --> 00:58:25,634 KYLE: Fuck! Help! Help! 1079 00:58:25,767 --> 00:58:28,634 Somebody help! Hey! Help! 1080 00:58:28,767 --> 00:58:30,068 [BANGING ON TRUNK] 1081 00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:33,634 Help me! Help! Aah! 1082 00:58:39,467 --> 00:58:40,968 [KYLE YELLS] 1083 00:58:44,300 --> 00:58:45,801 Right here. 1084 00:58:48,801 --> 00:58:50,667 [KYLE GROANING] 1085 00:58:55,701 --> 00:58:58,434 KYLE: Can we just take a break? Can we take a break? 1086 00:59:02,734 --> 00:59:04,634 [ALL PANTING] 1087 00:59:12,701 --> 00:59:14,068 Guys. 1088 00:59:17,834 --> 00:59:20,367 Please. Please, guys. 1089 00:59:20,500 --> 00:59:24,034 - [RASPY VOICE] Shut the fuck up. - Okay. But please, listen. 1090 00:59:24,167 --> 00:59:27,300 - I don't know what's going on... - I said, shut up. 1091 00:59:27,434 --> 00:59:28,901 [RASPY VOICE] Shut up. 1092 00:59:30,233 --> 00:59:31,968 What are you doing? 1093 00:59:32,100 --> 00:59:34,634 - What? - Why are you doing that voice? 1094 00:59:34,767 --> 00:59:36,100 To disguise my voice. 1095 00:59:36,233 --> 00:59:38,068 Yeah, but I'm doing that voice, 1096 00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:39,767 so pick another voice. 1097 00:59:39,901 --> 00:59:42,901 - It's just the Batman voice. - Then stop doing it. 1098 00:59:43,034 --> 00:59:45,100 I don't have another voice. 1099 00:59:46,701 --> 00:59:48,934 [NASAL VOICE] Do a voice like this. Do this. 1100 00:59:49,068 --> 00:59:51,167 That's perfect. You do that, I'll do this one. 1101 00:59:51,300 --> 00:59:53,500 [RASPY VOICE] No. I'm doing the Bat... 1102 00:59:53,634 --> 00:59:56,133 I'm doing the one I just showed you, I practiced it. 1103 00:59:56,267 --> 00:59:59,567 - You do the one that I just did. - I can't do that one. 1104 00:59:59,701 --> 01:00:02,334 You're not even trying. Fine. 1105 01:00:02,467 --> 01:00:04,001 [NASAL VOICE] I'll do this voice, 1106 01:00:04,133 --> 01:00:06,567 - This was why I wanted to prac... - Mike? 1107 01:00:06,701 --> 01:00:08,934 - Mike? - [RASPY VOICE] No. 1108 01:00:10,334 --> 01:00:12,068 It's you! 1109 01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:13,701 Ha-ha! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh. 1110 01:00:13,834 --> 01:00:15,233 [REGULAR VOICE] Goddamn it, Ronnie! 1111 01:00:15,367 --> 01:00:17,100 - This is awesome. Hey, Ronnie. - [REGULAR VOICE] Hey. 1112 01:00:17,233 --> 01:00:19,233 - Stop laughing. - That's why I wanted guns. 1113 01:00:19,367 --> 01:00:21,734 It's so much scarier with the guns. 1114 01:00:21,867 --> 01:00:24,567 This is great, guys. 1115 01:00:24,701 --> 01:00:26,601 - It's fucking ruined. Ruined. - Wow. 1116 01:00:26,734 --> 01:00:29,601 No, it's not. It's great. Just keep going. 1117 01:00:29,734 --> 01:00:32,601 I'll go along with it. Keep going. 1118 01:00:32,734 --> 01:00:35,100 - Are you ready to die? - No, Mike. Do it in the voice. 1119 01:00:35,233 --> 01:00:37,068 You gotta do it in the Batman voice. 1120 01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:40,001 - Okay. - Go, go, go. 1121 01:00:40,133 --> 01:00:43,001 - [RASPY VOICE] You ready to die? - No. 1122 01:00:43,133 --> 01:00:45,400 Then I'll say, "Are you ready to get fucked up?" 1123 01:00:45,534 --> 01:00:46,967 No, don't fuck me up, man. 1124 01:00:47,100 --> 01:00:48,767 Then I was gonna be like, 1125 01:00:48,901 --> 01:00:52,434 "Are you ready for the best bachelor party of your life?" 1126 01:00:52,567 --> 01:00:54,233 Yes! 1127 01:00:54,367 --> 01:00:55,968 Yes! 1128 01:00:56,100 --> 01:00:58,300 This is awesome. 1129 01:00:58,434 --> 01:01:01,934 Can you untie me though? You guys did a really good job. 1130 01:01:07,068 --> 01:01:08,634 [RONNIE SNORTING] 1131 01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:13,567 What is that? 1132 01:01:13,701 --> 01:01:16,867 We're ice fishing, man. I gotta make this fun somehow. 1133 01:01:17,001 --> 01:01:18,867 No, I'm okay. Come on. 1134 01:01:19,001 --> 01:01:20,267 [COUGHS] 1135 01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:22,200 I wanna say thanks for setting this up. 1136 01:01:22,334 --> 01:01:24,034 I've always wanted to go ice fishing. 1137 01:01:24,167 --> 01:01:26,133 Talk to him. He planned the whole thing. 1138 01:01:26,267 --> 01:01:28,434 I... I wanted to take you to AC. 1139 01:01:28,567 --> 01:01:30,634 Still do the whole, uh, kidnapping thing, 1140 01:01:30,767 --> 01:01:34,634 but when we took the hood off, have it be at the strip club. 1141 01:01:34,767 --> 01:01:36,867 It's not a bachelor party without a stripper. 1142 01:01:37,001 --> 01:01:38,634 I don't need a stripper, Uncle Mark. 1143 01:01:38,767 --> 01:01:42,634 Kyle, it's not a bachelor party without a stripper. 1144 01:01:42,767 --> 01:01:45,001 Okay, I gotta go pee. Here. 1145 01:01:49,901 --> 01:01:51,567 [DOOR CREAKING] 1146 01:01:56,400 --> 01:01:59,834 - He's a really good guy. - Yeah. 1147 01:01:59,968 --> 01:02:02,001 The best. 1148 01:02:02,133 --> 01:02:03,968 It's too bad he's marrying my sister. 1149 01:02:04,100 --> 01:02:05,934 I mean, don't get me wrong. I like her... 1150 01:02:06,068 --> 01:02:08,133 You know, I love her, obviously. 1151 01:02:08,267 --> 01:02:12,400 But, uh, yeah, it's too bad he's marrying my sister. 1152 01:02:12,534 --> 01:02:14,701 Yeah. 1153 01:02:14,834 --> 01:02:16,567 He's a good guy. 1154 01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:23,233 Oh, no, I'm okay. Yeah. 1155 01:02:23,367 --> 01:02:26,267 - Hey, can you hold this? - MARK: What's my name? Skip? 1156 01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:28,968 - RONNIE: Oh, yeah, man. - MARK: I want some cocaine. 1157 01:02:29,100 --> 01:02:30,901 RONNIE: No, no. That's not coke. 1158 01:02:31,034 --> 01:02:32,300 - STRIPPER: Hey! - MIKE: Hi. 1159 01:02:32,434 --> 01:02:34,534 I'm looking for a bachelor party? 1160 01:02:34,667 --> 01:02:36,034 Oh, yeah. It's right in there. 1161 01:02:36,167 --> 01:02:37,968 - Oh, thanks. - Yeah. 1162 01:02:39,233 --> 01:02:40,601 Mike. 1163 01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:55,001 - Thanks for doing this. - No problem. 1164 01:02:57,400 --> 01:03:00,434 RONNIE: Let's see them titties, girl! 1165 01:03:03,634 --> 01:03:05,968 Listen... 1166 01:03:06,100 --> 01:03:07,634 I've been thinking a lot about it, 1167 01:03:07,767 --> 01:03:10,601 with the wedding coming up. 1168 01:03:10,734 --> 01:03:13,500 I don't have many friends who know me, you know? 1169 01:03:17,167 --> 01:03:19,467 And I gotta pick a best man. 1170 01:03:21,034 --> 01:03:23,434 - So I was thinking... - I slept with Marissa. 1171 01:03:27,601 --> 01:03:29,068 Kyle, did you hear me? 1172 01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:30,968 Yeah. 1173 01:03:31,100 --> 01:03:33,434 [WIND WHISTLING] 1174 01:03:33,567 --> 01:03:36,601 I know this probably means the end of the our friendship again. 1175 01:03:36,734 --> 01:03:38,300 Uh-huh. 1176 01:03:38,434 --> 01:03:40,901 And you'll probably have to call off the wedding. 1177 01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:47,400 - I know it hurts right now, but... - Mike, shut the fuck up! 1178 01:03:47,534 --> 01:03:49,667 Just shut up, okay? 1179 01:03:50,901 --> 01:03:53,100 She told me what happened. 1180 01:03:53,233 --> 01:03:55,467 She said you were drunk, you made a sloppy move, 1181 01:03:55,601 --> 01:03:57,267 and she called you fat and pathetic. 1182 01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:59,834 - That's not what happened. - I don't care what happened. 1183 01:03:59,968 --> 01:04:02,167 If you love someone, you should care what happened. 1184 01:04:02,300 --> 01:04:05,001 Yeah, well, I don't! 1185 01:04:05,133 --> 01:04:07,267 I'm done caring. 1186 01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:11,133 I just want someone who wants to be with me. 1187 01:04:11,267 --> 01:04:14,100 And to start a family and be happy. 1188 01:04:17,434 --> 01:04:19,467 You should still break up with her. 1189 01:04:19,601 --> 01:04:22,434 You're a fucking idiot. 1190 01:04:22,567 --> 01:04:26,367 You don't think I know what you're doing? 1191 01:04:26,500 --> 01:04:28,934 I know you don't like her. My mom and sisters don't. 1192 01:04:29,068 --> 01:04:32,068 - Nobody likes her! - Nobody likes you, Mike! 1193 01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:33,801 I am the only one who likes you. 1194 01:04:33,934 --> 01:04:37,534 And I don't know why because you're fucking toxic. 1195 01:04:37,667 --> 01:04:41,701 You're loud and obnoxious, and you're an asshole! 1196 01:04:42,767 --> 01:04:45,734 I know I'm an asshole. 1197 01:04:45,867 --> 01:04:48,901 And I know no one likes me. I don't like me! 1198 01:04:49,034 --> 01:04:50,601 Okay? 1199 01:04:52,034 --> 01:04:54,934 Man, I'm not a happy person anymore. 1200 01:04:55,068 --> 01:04:57,334 And that's okay. 1201 01:04:57,467 --> 01:05:00,167 You know, but you're Kyle. You're the best person I know. 1202 01:05:00,300 --> 01:05:01,834 You make people around you happier 1203 01:05:01,968 --> 01:05:04,200 just by being yourself. 1204 01:05:04,334 --> 01:05:07,467 And I'm sorry if what I did killed a little bit of that. 1205 01:05:07,601 --> 01:05:11,167 But she's not right for you. 1206 01:05:11,300 --> 01:05:14,167 And I'm not saying that because I don't like her. 1207 01:05:14,300 --> 01:05:18,467 Which I don't at all. 1208 01:05:18,601 --> 01:05:20,634 She's not right because she doesn't want you 1209 01:05:20,767 --> 01:05:23,901 the way you are. She wants some other version of you 1210 01:05:24,034 --> 01:05:26,934 that fits what she's looking for, but fuck that! 1211 01:05:27,068 --> 01:05:29,801 That's not what love's about. 1212 01:05:29,934 --> 01:05:33,567 It's difficult and it's complicated. 1213 01:05:33,701 --> 01:05:35,801 And it's painful. 1214 01:05:36,934 --> 01:05:39,100 And it doesn't go away. 1215 01:05:43,901 --> 01:05:46,400 Man, she's not good enough for you. 1216 01:05:49,034 --> 01:05:51,200 And I'm not good enough for you. 1217 01:05:53,901 --> 01:05:56,734 If I really cared about you, I'd just leave you alone. 1218 01:05:58,068 --> 01:05:59,001 [KYLE YELLS] 1219 01:05:59,133 --> 01:06:01,267 - Kyle? Kyle? - Help! 1220 01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:02,734 - Holy shit! Kyle! - Help me! 1221 01:06:02,867 --> 01:06:05,267 - Help! Help! - Hold on! 1222 01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:06,801 Kyle! 1223 01:06:08,734 --> 01:06:10,334 [MUFFLED YELLING] 1224 01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:19,801 [MIKE YELLS] 1225 01:06:29,934 --> 01:06:31,534 [YELLS] 1226 01:06:34,500 --> 01:06:36,567 Kyle! Holy shit. 1227 01:06:37,667 --> 01:06:40,601 Kyle! Kyle! 1228 01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:44,734 Kyle! 1229 01:06:46,334 --> 01:06:47,934 - Oh, my God. - Oh, God. 1230 01:06:48,068 --> 01:06:49,801 [BOTH GRUNTING] 1231 01:06:52,367 --> 01:06:54,133 Holy shit. Okay. 1232 01:06:54,267 --> 01:06:55,834 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 1233 01:06:56,934 --> 01:06:58,233 You're okay. 1234 01:06:59,300 --> 01:07:00,601 Fuck. 1235 01:07:01,968 --> 01:07:03,601 Holy shit. 1236 01:07:04,934 --> 01:07:06,434 [KYLE MUMBLES] 1237 01:07:08,734 --> 01:07:11,734 Oh, God. Oh... Oh. 1238 01:07:17,133 --> 01:07:19,434 Hey, how much of that did you hear? 1239 01:07:21,534 --> 01:07:23,233 What I was saying? 1240 01:07:27,167 --> 01:07:30,434 [VIOLIN PLAYING TRADITIONAL FOLK TUNE] 1241 01:07:32,934 --> 01:07:35,968 [ACCORDION & GUITAR START PLAYING FOLK TUNE] 1242 01:07:46,958 --> 01:07:53,708 [SINGING IN RUSSIAN] The night is so bright, full of stars and moonlight 1243 01:07:53,792 --> 01:07:59,375 In this light you can gather the needles 1244 01:07:59,458 --> 01:08:06,458 Come to me, darling, despite all your tiredness 1245 01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:13,875 Show me yourself for few minutes 1246 01:08:35,100 --> 01:08:37,534 MIKE: Hey, Kyle. It's, uh, Mike. 1247 01:08:37,667 --> 01:08:41,300 Um, I'm not sure if you've been getting any of my messages. 1248 01:08:41,434 --> 01:08:44,867 But I was gonna see a movie later. 1249 01:08:45,001 --> 01:08:46,634 Maybe tonight. 1250 01:08:46,767 --> 01:08:50,934 Or now, if you wanted to come. Uh... 1251 01:08:51,068 --> 01:08:53,233 I could also go tomorrow if you're free, 1252 01:08:53,367 --> 01:08:57,567 but today's my birthday, so I figured I would do that. 1253 01:08:57,701 --> 01:09:01,001 So, yeah. Um, call me back, man. All right, bye. 1254 01:09:01,133 --> 01:09:02,567 [PHONE BEEPS] 1255 01:09:02,701 --> 01:09:07,133 [LINE RINGING] 1256 01:09:07,267 --> 01:09:09,767 - MARISSA [OVER PHONE]: Hello? - Hey, Marissa. It's Mike. 1257 01:09:09,901 --> 01:09:11,300 Are you with Kyle? 1258 01:09:11,434 --> 01:09:13,500 I've been trying to get ahold of him and I... 1259 01:09:13,634 --> 01:09:15,801 Hello? 1260 01:09:15,934 --> 01:09:17,167 Hello? 1261 01:09:18,801 --> 01:09:20,467 - [SIGHS] - [HORN HONKS] 1262 01:09:20,601 --> 01:09:22,667 DRIVER: Get out of the road! 1263 01:09:22,801 --> 01:09:24,500 Fucking asshole. 1264 01:09:24,634 --> 01:09:26,567 [♪♪♪] 1265 01:09:34,034 --> 01:09:36,534 Hey, can I get one ticket? 1266 01:09:36,667 --> 01:09:38,233 Sure. For which movie? 1267 01:09:38,367 --> 01:09:41,400 Uh, the one that's playing now, I guess. 1268 01:09:41,534 --> 01:09:43,467 Okay. That'll be 7.50. 1269 01:09:43,601 --> 01:09:45,233 Do you guys still have that thing 1270 01:09:45,367 --> 01:09:46,867 where it's free on your birthday? 1271 01:09:47,001 --> 01:09:50,300 - Yeah. - Uh, it's my birthday. 1272 01:09:50,434 --> 01:09:52,300 - Can I see your license? - Yeah. 1273 01:09:52,434 --> 01:09:56,100 No, actually. I... I don't have a license at the moment. 1274 01:09:56,233 --> 01:09:57,968 It's a whole thing. Um... 1275 01:09:58,100 --> 01:10:01,934 We need some kind of ID for the birthday special. Sorry. 1276 01:10:02,068 --> 01:10:03,968 I've... I mean, I've got... 1277 01:10:04,100 --> 01:10:06,434 I got, like, that. 1278 01:10:06,567 --> 01:10:09,500 - I don't know if I can take this. - It's a Social Security card. 1279 01:10:09,634 --> 01:10:12,467 Yeah, but it's not a valid form of ID. 1280 01:10:12,601 --> 01:10:14,834 It's the most valid form of ID. 1281 01:10:14,968 --> 01:10:17,734 It doesn't have your picture on it. 1282 01:10:29,867 --> 01:10:33,100 [MAN SPEAKING IN FRENCH IN MOVIE] 1283 01:11:19,434 --> 01:11:22,334 [ORGAN PLAYING "AVE MARIA"] 1284 01:11:32,701 --> 01:11:35,867 PRIEST: Please join us in prayer. 1285 01:11:36,001 --> 01:11:38,434 Be attentive to our prayers, O Lord. 1286 01:11:38,567 --> 01:11:40,467 And in your kindness, pour out your grace 1287 01:11:40,601 --> 01:11:44,133 on these, your servants, Kyle and Marissa, 1288 01:11:44,267 --> 01:11:47,133 that coming together before your altar, 1289 01:11:47,267 --> 01:11:50,701 they may be confirmed in love for one another 1290 01:11:50,834 --> 01:11:54,267 through Christ, our Lord, amen. 1291 01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:55,801 ALL: Amen. 1292 01:11:55,934 --> 01:11:57,400 PRIEST: Thank you for joining us 1293 01:11:57,534 --> 01:12:00,200 in this joyous celebration. 1294 01:12:00,334 --> 01:12:03,567 Now the groom's sisters, Bianca and Dana, 1295 01:12:03,701 --> 01:12:07,400 will read from the book of Ephesians. 1296 01:12:15,601 --> 01:12:18,068 I'm actually gonna read from Revelation. 1297 01:12:18,200 --> 01:12:21,567 Chapter 2, verse 10. 1298 01:12:21,701 --> 01:12:24,734 "Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer. 1299 01:12:24,867 --> 01:12:28,467 Behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison 1300 01:12:28,601 --> 01:12:30,133 that you may be tried. 1301 01:12:30,267 --> 01:12:33,068 And ye shall have tribulation 10 days. 1302 01:12:33,200 --> 01:12:35,167 Be thou faithful unto death 1303 01:12:35,300 --> 01:12:37,734 and I will give thee a crown of life." 1304 01:12:37,867 --> 01:12:40,034 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY OVER HEADPHONES] 1305 01:12:41,834 --> 01:12:44,200 A reading from Ephesians. 1306 01:12:44,334 --> 01:12:48,200 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands 1307 01:12:48,334 --> 01:12:51,601 as unto the Lord. 1308 01:12:51,734 --> 01:12:54,734 For the husband is head of the wife, 1309 01:12:54,867 --> 01:12:57,634 even as Christ is head of the church. 1310 01:12:57,767 --> 01:13:01,232 And he is the savior of the body." 1311 01:13:01,367 --> 01:13:03,068 Thank you, Your Honor. 1312 01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:06,434 PRIEST: Through Christ, our Lord, amen. 1313 01:13:06,567 --> 01:13:08,667 ALL: Amen. 1314 01:13:08,801 --> 01:13:10,901 PRIEST: Please join us in prayer. 1315 01:13:11,034 --> 01:13:12,934 [FRANZ SCHUBERT'S "AVE MARIA" PLAYING] 1316 01:13:42,834 --> 01:13:44,601 [TIRES SCREECHING] 1317 01:13:50,500 --> 01:13:52,233 - [BRAKES SQUEAL] - [DULL THUD] 1318 01:13:54,667 --> 01:13:59,434 [ISABELLE PIERRE'S "LES ENFANTS DE L'AVENIR" PLAYING] 1319 01:13:59,567 --> 01:14:00,434 [CLAPS] 1320 01:14:00,567 --> 01:14:02,100 Let's go. 1321 01:14:19,968 --> 01:14:23,434 ...assume the responsibilities of married life. 1322 01:14:23,567 --> 01:14:25,667 - Oh, this is gonna be good. - And in this church. 1323 01:14:25,801 --> 01:14:27,634 I object. 1324 01:14:27,767 --> 01:14:30,801 PRIEST: Excuse me, sir. There's no objection in this ceremony. 1325 01:14:30,934 --> 01:14:32,734 I'm sorry, Father. He's my best friend. 1326 01:14:32,867 --> 01:14:34,400 PRIEST: Sir, get out of my church! 1327 01:14:34,534 --> 01:14:36,100 SUZI: Wait a second, let him speak. 1328 01:14:36,233 --> 01:14:37,834 - JIM: Oh, boy. - Don't marry her, Kyle. 1329 01:14:37,968 --> 01:14:40,767 No! No, no, no! 1330 01:14:40,901 --> 01:14:41,968 No, no, no, no! 1331 01:14:42,100 --> 01:14:43,367 [GUESTS GASPING] 1332 01:14:43,500 --> 01:14:45,068 - Let me go, Ronnie! - Hey. 1333 01:14:45,200 --> 01:14:46,300 - It's okay. - Hey, hey, hey. 1334 01:14:46,434 --> 01:14:47,968 - Oh, your veil. - This is my wedding! 1335 01:14:48,100 --> 01:14:49,367 - Are you all right? - Yeah. 1336 01:14:49,500 --> 01:14:50,968 Sometimes you get knocked down, 1337 01:14:51,100 --> 01:14:52,434 you gotta get right back in there. 1338 01:14:52,567 --> 01:14:54,100 - Fuck is he doing wearing white? - KYLE: Mike! 1339 01:14:54,233 --> 01:14:55,267 Kyle. 1340 01:14:56,434 --> 01:14:59,400 What are you doing, man? 1341 01:14:59,534 --> 01:15:03,467 You deserve to be with someone who loves you... 1342 01:15:03,601 --> 01:15:05,968 for who you are. 1343 01:15:06,100 --> 01:15:08,133 This beautiful man. 1344 01:15:09,233 --> 01:15:10,968 You're a beautiful man. 1345 01:15:12,133 --> 01:15:14,233 And I love you. 1346 01:15:14,367 --> 01:15:16,167 And so does everyone here. 1347 01:15:16,300 --> 01:15:18,001 Or at least the people on this side. 1348 01:15:18,133 --> 01:15:19,667 [SNIFFS] 1349 01:15:19,801 --> 01:15:21,734 I just don't think she loves you. 1350 01:15:21,867 --> 01:15:24,334 Kyle. I love you. 1351 01:15:24,467 --> 01:15:26,434 Maybe, but you definitely don't love her... 1352 01:15:26,567 --> 01:15:28,133 Mike, shut up. 1353 01:15:29,233 --> 01:15:30,434 Wait. 1354 01:15:31,534 --> 01:15:34,567 - Do you love me? - Yes. 1355 01:15:34,701 --> 01:15:36,233 Why do you love me? 1356 01:15:36,367 --> 01:15:37,968 Because... 1357 01:15:39,133 --> 01:15:40,567 Because you're driven 1358 01:15:40,701 --> 01:15:42,834 and because you always get what you want. 1359 01:15:42,968 --> 01:15:45,367 And you never listen when people say no. 1360 01:15:45,500 --> 01:15:47,567 You're always pushing me to do things 1361 01:15:47,701 --> 01:15:50,300 that I don't wanna do and constantly change... 1362 01:15:50,434 --> 01:15:52,601 That...? That's why? 1363 01:15:52,734 --> 01:15:56,701 Do you really think that this is my master plan? 1364 01:15:56,834 --> 01:15:58,767 That I wanted to get married to the guy 1365 01:15:58,901 --> 01:16:00,867 that I broke up with after high school? 1366 01:16:01,001 --> 01:16:03,034 Because it's not. 1367 01:16:03,167 --> 01:16:06,634 But I don't know what I want and I don't know what I need, 1368 01:16:06,767 --> 01:16:10,567 but I do know that I love you. 1369 01:16:10,701 --> 01:16:14,767 And I didn't expect to, but I do. 1370 01:16:14,901 --> 01:16:17,734 You didn't let me finish. 1371 01:16:17,867 --> 01:16:20,467 I was trying to say that all those things... 1372 01:16:20,601 --> 01:16:22,467 that's what I need. 1373 01:16:23,701 --> 01:16:26,068 I love that you push me 1374 01:16:26,200 --> 01:16:29,968 because it makes me change and otherwise I'd stay the same. 1375 01:16:30,100 --> 01:16:32,233 And I don't wanna stay the same. 1376 01:16:34,934 --> 01:16:38,601 And you're so funny and beautiful. 1377 01:16:45,867 --> 01:16:47,267 I love you. 1378 01:16:47,400 --> 01:16:49,867 I love you too. 1379 01:16:50,001 --> 01:16:50,968 Hey, can I just say...? 1380 01:16:51,100 --> 01:16:52,534 - No. - Mike. 1381 01:16:52,667 --> 01:16:54,367 - Because I had a whole... - I'm pregnant. 1382 01:16:54,500 --> 01:16:55,567 We're getting married. 1383 01:16:55,701 --> 01:16:57,200 [GUESTS GASP, MURMURING] 1384 01:17:00,068 --> 01:17:02,034 Oh, my God. 1385 01:17:02,167 --> 01:17:03,801 A baby? 1386 01:17:06,001 --> 01:17:07,634 Just go. 1387 01:17:16,068 --> 01:17:19,834 JIM: Oh, Grandma Suzi. 1388 01:17:19,968 --> 01:17:22,434 - That was awesome. - Thanks. 1389 01:17:22,567 --> 01:17:24,001 WOMAN: I knew she was pregnant. 1390 01:17:24,133 --> 01:17:26,100 PRIEST: I think we need to take a moment... 1391 01:17:26,233 --> 01:17:28,968 MARISSA: No, no, no. We're good. We're ready. 1392 01:17:29,100 --> 01:17:31,901 Matrimony demands full consent from both parties. 1393 01:17:32,034 --> 01:17:33,500 We consent. Kyle, do you consent? 1394 01:17:33,634 --> 01:17:34,601 - I do. - Great. 1395 01:17:34,734 --> 01:17:35,767 I'm going to insist 1396 01:17:35,901 --> 01:17:37,001 that we hold off on this 1397 01:17:37,133 --> 01:17:38,667 until you both have had a chance 1398 01:17:38,801 --> 01:17:41,133 to think about this incredible decision 1399 01:17:41,267 --> 01:17:42,734 you're going to make. 1400 01:17:42,867 --> 01:17:45,167 - MARISSA: Are you serious? - Oh, I am serious. 1401 01:17:45,300 --> 01:17:47,500 Fifty-one percent of marriages end in divorce, 1402 01:17:47,634 --> 01:17:50,467 and pregnancy can create undue pressure. 1403 01:17:50,601 --> 01:17:52,634 I encourage both of you to consider 1404 01:17:52,767 --> 01:17:54,901 the magnitude of this decision 1405 01:17:55,034 --> 01:17:57,601 so you may return here without coercion, 1406 01:17:57,734 --> 01:18:00,167 freely and wholeheartedly. 1407 01:18:00,300 --> 01:18:01,801 When? 1408 01:18:03,300 --> 01:18:05,634 After the child's born. 1409 01:18:06,767 --> 01:18:09,001 What the fuck? 1410 01:18:09,133 --> 01:18:10,834 I'm sorry, Father. 1411 01:18:12,068 --> 01:18:14,068 Shit. 1412 01:18:14,200 --> 01:18:17,300 [JACQUELINE TAIEB'S "LA PLUS BELLE CHANSON" PLAYING] 1413 01:18:42,601 --> 01:18:44,534 [STARTER PISTOL FIRES] 1414 01:19:02,167 --> 01:19:04,567 Hey, Mike. You know how much longer it's gonna be? 1415 01:19:04,701 --> 01:19:07,801 MIKE: I'm repairing a bike, Gary. This isn't McDonald's. 1416 01:19:07,934 --> 01:19:09,434 Word. 1417 01:19:13,534 --> 01:19:16,233 Where have you been riding this thing? It's all corroded. 1418 01:19:16,367 --> 01:19:19,133 It looks like it's been in the ocean. 1419 01:19:19,267 --> 01:19:22,100 You know, mostly I take it on the bike path. 1420 01:19:22,233 --> 01:19:25,434 But, yeah, I've been going down to the beach lately. 1421 01:19:25,567 --> 01:19:29,400 Um, trying to meet people since my mom passed and... 1422 01:19:29,534 --> 01:19:31,334 You know, it's a talk thing. 1423 01:19:31,467 --> 01:19:34,300 Like, people bring their dogs and you talk about the dog. 1424 01:19:34,434 --> 01:19:36,068 - Hey. - You're like, "Look at my bike. 1425 01:19:36,200 --> 01:19:37,934 Is that pink? That's good exercise..." 1426 01:19:38,068 --> 01:19:40,434 Gary, I have a customer. 1427 01:19:40,567 --> 01:19:42,233 Yeah, sure. 1428 01:19:43,934 --> 01:19:46,167 Uh, what do you want? 1429 01:19:46,300 --> 01:19:48,467 Can I get a cappuccino? 1430 01:19:48,601 --> 01:19:50,001 Sure. 1431 01:19:54,267 --> 01:19:55,467 [COFFEE GRINDER WHIRS] 1432 01:20:07,867 --> 01:20:11,001 Are you looking to buy a bike? 1433 01:20:11,133 --> 01:20:12,467 Nope. 1434 01:20:12,601 --> 01:20:14,667 [ESPRESSO MACHINE WHIRRING] 1435 01:20:22,767 --> 01:20:24,233 [STEAMER HISSING] 1436 01:20:24,367 --> 01:20:26,200 He misses you. 1437 01:20:28,001 --> 01:20:30,400 - I'm sorry, what? - He misses you. 1438 01:20:30,534 --> 01:20:32,534 [STEAMER HISSING] 1439 01:20:52,233 --> 01:20:53,467 - Thank you. - Sure. 1440 01:20:53,601 --> 01:20:56,133 - How much do I owe you? - It's on me. 1441 01:20:56,267 --> 01:20:59,701 - You sure? - Yeah. 1442 01:20:59,834 --> 01:21:02,701 Hey, if you're handing out free 'puccinos, I'll take one. 1443 01:21:02,834 --> 01:21:04,901 You know if your...? Is your bathroom working? 1444 01:21:05,034 --> 01:21:06,734 Gary, please go outside. 1445 01:21:06,867 --> 01:21:09,534 - Okay. Yeah, no problem, man. - Out. 1446 01:21:13,400 --> 01:21:15,068 MIKE: Why are you here? 1447 01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:17,867 - Hey. - MARISSA: Wanted to talk to you. 1448 01:21:18,001 --> 01:21:20,133 Um... 1449 01:21:20,267 --> 01:21:21,867 If I were you... 1450 01:21:22,001 --> 01:21:24,034 [MARISSA CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 1451 01:21:24,167 --> 01:21:25,467 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] 1452 01:21:25,601 --> 01:21:27,467 [MIKE MAKING GIBBERISH NOISES] 1453 01:21:30,133 --> 01:21:32,434 [GROWLING PLAYFULLY] 1454 01:21:34,867 --> 01:21:37,667 [HUMS, EXCLAIMS] 1455 01:21:39,601 --> 01:21:41,901 You want a cowboy? 1456 01:21:42,034 --> 01:21:43,801 [SPEAKING GIBBERISH] 1457 01:21:47,434 --> 01:21:48,667 Boo! 1458 01:21:48,801 --> 01:21:49,667 [LAUGHS] 1459 01:21:49,801 --> 01:21:52,334 You're so cute. 1460 01:21:52,467 --> 01:21:53,634 You want this? 1461 01:21:53,767 --> 01:21:55,100 [COOING] 1462 01:21:55,233 --> 01:21:58,001 I know. That's what I was saying. 1463 01:21:58,133 --> 01:22:02,467 Oh, saying, "Goo-goo, ga-ga." 1464 01:22:02,601 --> 01:22:03,834 [CHUCKLES] 1465 01:22:03,968 --> 01:22:05,601 - Hey, trade? - Yeah. 1466 01:22:05,734 --> 01:22:07,100 Yeah! 1467 01:22:07,233 --> 01:22:09,801 [MARISSA GROANS PLAYFULLY] 1468 01:22:09,934 --> 01:22:12,801 - Here's the cactus. - Thank you. Cactus. 1469 01:22:12,934 --> 01:22:15,601 Oh, shit. I forgot my, um, card in there. 1470 01:22:15,734 --> 01:22:17,834 - Can you grab it for me? - Sure. 1471 01:22:17,968 --> 01:22:20,001 Yeah. 1472 01:22:20,133 --> 01:22:24,001 ♪ I've got to move along... ♪ 1473 01:22:34,767 --> 01:22:37,734 [GILBERT BECAUD'S "WHAT NOW MY LOVE" PLAYING] 1474 01:22:47,500 --> 01:22:50,968 ♪ What now, my love ♪ 1475 01:22:51,100 --> 01:22:54,367 ♪ Now that you left me? ♪ 1476 01:22:54,500 --> 01:22:57,801 ♪ How can I live ♪ 1477 01:22:57,934 --> 01:23:01,534 ♪ Through another day? ♪ 1478 01:23:01,667 --> 01:23:05,400 ♪ Watching my dreams ♪ 1479 01:23:05,534 --> 01:23:07,634 ♪ Turning to... ♪ 1480 01:23:07,767 --> 01:23:09,233 OTIS: "People are not lazy. 1481 01:23:09,367 --> 01:23:11,867 They simply have impotent goals." 1482 01:23:12,001 --> 01:23:15,200 What does "impotent" mean? 1483 01:23:15,334 --> 01:23:19,133 MARISSA: It means that you can't, like, um... 1484 01:23:19,267 --> 01:23:22,901 That you have trouble doing something, you know? 1485 01:23:23,034 --> 01:23:25,534 "A real decision is measured by the fact 1486 01:23:25,667 --> 01:23:27,367 that you've taken a new action 1487 01:23:27,500 --> 01:23:30,634 and that there's no action you haven't truly decided." 1488 01:23:30,767 --> 01:23:32,600 Hey, baby, did you finish your homework? 1489 01:23:32,734 --> 01:23:35,934 - No, not yet. - Okay, well, maybe what we can do 1490 01:23:36,068 --> 01:23:37,567 is finish your homework 1491 01:23:37,701 --> 01:23:41,100 and then we can get back to reading Tony Robbins, okay? 1492 01:23:41,233 --> 01:23:42,434 - OTIS: Okay. - MARISSA: Okay. 1493 01:23:42,567 --> 01:23:45,734 Do you want one pancake or two? 1494 01:23:45,867 --> 01:23:47,434 - One pancake or two? - One. 1495 01:23:47,567 --> 01:23:49,133 MARISSA: One. 1496 01:23:49,267 --> 01:23:51,267 Okay. 1497 01:23:51,400 --> 01:23:53,334 Just one for you. 1498 01:23:54,434 --> 01:23:55,400 Four for me. 1499 01:23:55,534 --> 01:23:56,467 [DISHES SHATTER] 1500 01:23:56,601 --> 01:23:57,634 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1501 01:23:57,767 --> 01:23:59,934 - Mom! - Sorry. 1502 01:24:00,068 --> 01:24:01,100 - MIKE: Sorry. - KYLE: Okay. 1503 01:24:01,233 --> 01:24:03,300 - MIKE: Sorry. - KYLE: All right. 1504 01:24:03,434 --> 01:24:04,968 MIKE: Sorry. 1505 01:24:06,901 --> 01:24:09,001 This one didn't break. 1506 01:24:09,133 --> 01:24:10,267 Great. 1507 01:24:10,400 --> 01:24:12,634 I'll get it. I'll clean it up. 1508 01:24:16,867 --> 01:24:20,500 - I'll get some glue or something. - All right. 1509 01:24:42,068 --> 01:24:44,068 [PANCAKES SIZZLING] 1510 01:24:45,867 --> 01:24:50,034 Hey, uh, what did we say about the glasses? 1511 01:24:50,167 --> 01:24:55,300 We said that I get the glassware and you get the plates. 1512 01:24:57,334 --> 01:24:59,300 - Is that cool? - Yeah. 1513 01:25:03,400 --> 01:25:05,233 [CLEARS THROAT] 1514 01:25:14,100 --> 01:25:15,968 [COUGHS] 1515 01:25:20,867 --> 01:25:21,934 Um... 1516 01:25:22,068 --> 01:25:23,801 [CAR HORN HONKING] 1517 01:25:23,934 --> 01:25:25,801 MAN: Hey, you gotta move your truck, man. 1518 01:25:25,934 --> 01:25:28,267 MIKE: Okay, hold on. Yeah, give me a second. 1519 01:25:31,901 --> 01:25:33,534 [HORN HONKING] 1520 01:25:33,667 --> 01:25:35,267 Hey, stop beeping your fucking horn! 1521 01:25:35,400 --> 01:25:38,767 - You need to move your truck. - MIKE: Go around! 1522 01:25:38,901 --> 01:25:41,068 Don't you move this car. 1523 01:25:41,200 --> 01:25:43,001 [HONKING] 1524 01:25:43,133 --> 01:25:44,934 I said, stop beeping your fucking horn! 1525 01:25:45,068 --> 01:25:47,601 - Move your truck! - Fuck you! 1526 01:25:47,734 --> 01:25:50,834 [DRIVING HOLDING DOWN HORN] 1527 01:25:50,968 --> 01:25:53,068 Hey, buddy! There's no chance in fucking hell 1528 01:25:53,200 --> 01:25:54,901 I'm moving this truck now! 1529 01:25:55,034 --> 01:25:58,167 Hey! Stop beeping your fucking horn! 1530 01:25:58,300 --> 01:26:00,434 Really? Really? Come on, motherfucker. 1531 01:26:00,567 --> 01:26:02,434 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Come on! 1532 01:26:02,567 --> 01:26:04,767 - Come on! - No, no. Look, I'm fucking sorry. 1533 01:26:04,901 --> 01:26:06,434 I'm sorry! I'm sorry. 1534 01:26:06,567 --> 01:26:09,734 You fuck! Move the fucking truck! 1535 01:26:09,867 --> 01:26:11,601 Asshole! 1536 01:26:11,734 --> 01:26:13,434 - You got something to say? - Nothing, no. 1537 01:26:13,567 --> 01:26:15,901 - You wanna say something? - Nothing. I got nothing. 1538 01:26:17,400 --> 01:26:20,001 Fucking motherfucker. 1539 01:26:20,133 --> 01:26:22,767 [TRUCK ENGINE STARTS] 1540 01:26:22,901 --> 01:26:24,634 MIKE: Kyle, I'll be right back! 1541 01:26:24,767 --> 01:26:26,300 Okay! 1542 01:26:35,267 --> 01:26:37,934 MARISSA: What's going on? 1543 01:26:38,068 --> 01:26:41,434 - Driving school. - Oh, Jesus. 1544 01:26:41,567 --> 01:26:44,133 Sorry. Mike broke a plate. 1545 01:26:44,267 --> 01:26:45,867 Okay. 1546 01:26:52,167 --> 01:26:53,934 It's a great house. 1547 01:26:56,233 --> 01:26:57,400 Yeah. 1548 01:26:57,534 --> 01:26:58,901 [LIGHTER CLICKS] 1549 01:27:09,834 --> 01:27:12,100 Um, listen, I'm gonna talk to Otis's teacher 1550 01:27:12,233 --> 01:27:14,734 - about the whole math thing. - Oh, yeah. Thank you. 1551 01:27:14,867 --> 01:27:18,300 I e-mailed her, but it will be good if you talk to her 1552 01:27:18,434 --> 01:27:20,734 because, you know, she likes you better. 1553 01:27:34,068 --> 01:27:35,133 [HORN HONKS] 1554 01:27:35,267 --> 01:27:38,567 Sorry. The horn's like... 1555 01:27:39,701 --> 01:27:41,133 Let's go. 1556 01:27:41,267 --> 01:27:43,968 [♪♪♪] 1557 01:27:59,233 --> 01:28:00,634 I'll see you. 1558 01:28:06,634 --> 01:28:09,300 Hey, Mike, can you...? I got it, I got it. 1559 01:28:09,434 --> 01:28:11,300 Can you just hold on to these? 1560 01:28:11,434 --> 01:28:13,801 Mike, the car. Mike, the car! 1561 01:28:13,934 --> 01:28:14,968 MIKE: Sorry. 1562 01:28:15,100 --> 01:28:18,767 You gotta put the brake on, man. 1563 01:28:18,901 --> 01:28:20,133 Whoa! 1564 01:28:20,267 --> 01:28:21,601 [MIKE LAUGHS] 1565 01:28:23,233 --> 01:28:24,500 Bye. 1566 01:28:26,233 --> 01:28:28,434 MIKE: Why do you still have tapes? 1567 01:28:32,068 --> 01:28:33,500 OTIS: Dad! 1568 01:28:35,068 --> 01:28:38,300 - Careful! - Dad, wait for me! 1569 01:28:39,934 --> 01:28:41,934 Dad, wait! 1570 01:28:43,601 --> 01:28:44,634 Dad! 1571 01:28:44,767 --> 01:28:46,734 [BRAKES SQUEAL] 1572 01:28:46,867 --> 01:28:48,767 [BACK-UP SIGNAL BEEPING] 1573 01:28:57,534 --> 01:29:00,934 - Hey. - Dad, why didn't you wait for me? 1574 01:29:01,068 --> 01:29:04,467 The house is, like, three houses down. 1575 01:29:04,601 --> 01:29:06,200 You're okay. Don't worry. 1576 01:29:06,334 --> 01:29:07,968 You got some chocolate on your face. 1577 01:29:08,100 --> 01:29:10,434 I read that 70 percent of long-term prison inmates 1578 01:29:10,567 --> 01:29:11,801 are a product of divorce. 1579 01:29:11,934 --> 01:29:13,467 - That's not funny. - I agree. 1580 01:29:13,601 --> 01:29:15,901 It's not funny at all. It's tragic. 1581 01:29:16,034 --> 01:29:17,567 - How you doing? - OTIS: Good. 1582 01:29:17,701 --> 01:29:19,068 Good. 1583 01:29:19,200 --> 01:29:20,934 You're riding great. 1584 01:29:22,901 --> 01:29:25,367 Training wheels are slowing him down. You know that, right? 1585 01:29:25,500 --> 01:29:27,200 He needs them. 1586 01:29:27,334 --> 01:29:29,767 He wouldn't need them if you taught him how to ride. 1587 01:29:29,901 --> 01:29:32,400 Mike, we talked about this. You don't get a say. 1588 01:29:32,534 --> 01:29:34,567 I'm not trying to get a say. I'm just saying 1589 01:29:34,701 --> 01:29:36,534 that he's a natural athlete and... 1590 01:29:36,667 --> 01:29:40,133 Listen, I already made a decision. It's his choice. 1591 01:29:42,200 --> 01:29:44,567 Hey, Otis. Wanna take those training wheels off 1592 01:29:44,701 --> 01:29:46,434 and ride a bike like an actual person? 1593 01:29:46,567 --> 01:29:47,968 Yeah. 1594 01:29:49,434 --> 01:29:51,001 Okay, fine. 1595 01:29:51,133 --> 01:29:52,434 - You want to? - Yeah. 1596 01:29:52,567 --> 01:29:54,968 All right. Here we go. Let's pull over. 1597 01:29:55,100 --> 01:29:56,834 Here you go. Oh! Stop, stop, stop. 1598 01:29:56,968 --> 01:29:59,400 Yeah, there you go. Okay. 1599 01:30:13,968 --> 01:30:16,767 Fuck. Goddamn it. 1600 01:30:16,901 --> 01:30:18,233 Dad! 1601 01:30:18,367 --> 01:30:19,801 Sorry. 1602 01:30:25,767 --> 01:30:28,233 - You want some help with this? - No, I got it. 1603 01:30:29,734 --> 01:30:31,068 God! 1604 01:30:35,267 --> 01:30:37,767 - Kyle, I have a tool. - No, I got it. 1605 01:30:40,200 --> 01:30:41,434 All right. 1606 01:30:44,467 --> 01:30:46,068 Okay, Otis. 1607 01:30:52,100 --> 01:30:54,867 All right, so riding a bike 1608 01:30:55,001 --> 01:30:57,534 is just like riding a bike with training wheels, okay? 1609 01:30:57,667 --> 01:30:59,901 You just look straight ahead, don't look down. 1610 01:31:00,034 --> 01:31:01,701 And if you get freaked out, 1611 01:31:01,834 --> 01:31:03,601 just put your feet down and stop, okay? 1612 01:31:03,734 --> 01:31:05,100 - Okay. - All right. 1613 01:31:05,233 --> 01:31:08,068 Go ahead and get on. And don't be scared, okay? 1614 01:31:08,200 --> 01:31:09,867 - I'm not scared. - Okay. 1615 01:31:10,001 --> 01:31:12,467 I'm just saying, if you are scared, that's okay. 1616 01:31:12,601 --> 01:31:14,567 - I'm not. - Okay. 1617 01:31:14,701 --> 01:31:17,701 Hey, Otis, when you crash, just get back on the bike, you know? 1618 01:31:17,834 --> 01:31:19,434 - Really? - Yeah. He's gonna crash 1619 01:31:19,567 --> 01:31:21,767 so he should know what to do when that happens. 1620 01:31:21,901 --> 01:31:24,934 - Why put that in his head? - I'm not. I'm just telling him 1621 01:31:25,068 --> 01:31:27,434 so he has an understanding... He's riding. 1622 01:31:27,567 --> 01:31:29,233 - Otis! Otis, keep pedaling! - Oh, shit. 1623 01:31:29,367 --> 01:31:30,634 Oh, my God. 1624 01:31:32,734 --> 01:31:34,467 Otis, are you hurt? Are you okay? 1625 01:31:34,601 --> 01:31:36,300 - Yeah. - Which one? 1626 01:31:36,434 --> 01:31:38,701 - I'm okay. - Okay. 1627 01:31:40,567 --> 01:31:43,267 Okay. Now, listen, man. 1628 01:31:43,400 --> 01:31:47,133 Sometimes in life, we fall down and it hurts, okay? 1629 01:31:47,267 --> 01:31:50,100 But that's when it's important to get back on and ride. 1630 01:31:50,233 --> 01:31:52,934 I know. Uncle Mike just said that. 1631 01:31:54,801 --> 01:31:57,334 - Hey, Otis, want some Orangina? - No, I'm good. 1632 01:31:57,467 --> 01:31:59,467 - Okay. - Just take it easy, okay? 1633 01:31:59,601 --> 01:32:01,934 Just take a moment. 1634 01:32:02,068 --> 01:32:04,267 God, this is so stressful. 1635 01:32:06,400 --> 01:32:08,467 He's fine, I'm telling you. He's going again. 1636 01:32:08,601 --> 01:32:11,133 Oh, shit. Okay. 1637 01:32:11,267 --> 01:32:12,667 - He's going! - You're doing great! 1638 01:32:12,801 --> 01:32:14,400 Keep pedaling! 1639 01:32:14,534 --> 01:32:17,233 - You're doing great, Otis! - Oh, my gosh. He is doing great. 1640 01:32:17,367 --> 01:32:20,334 - Shit, he's going really fast. - He's going really fast. Wow. 1641 01:32:20,467 --> 01:32:22,100 [BOTH GRUNT] 1642 01:32:23,601 --> 01:32:26,834 - Great work, Otis. - Great work. Wow! 1643 01:32:26,968 --> 01:32:29,500 Wow! 1644 01:32:29,634 --> 01:32:31,500 MIKE: He's got a great cadence, you know? 1645 01:32:31,634 --> 01:32:32,634 Yeah. 1646 01:32:32,767 --> 01:32:34,400 - Takes after... - Mike, stop. 1647 01:32:34,534 --> 01:32:36,834 I'm just saying, he's a natural athlete. 1648 01:32:36,968 --> 01:32:38,233 That has to be genetic. 1649 01:32:38,367 --> 01:32:40,068 Just keep pedaling. Stay to this side 1650 01:32:40,200 --> 01:32:42,300 so Mom doesn't get mad at me. 1651 01:32:42,434 --> 01:32:44,100 There you go. 1652 01:32:44,233 --> 01:32:45,968 Look at you! 1653 01:32:46,100 --> 01:32:49,467 Look at you! This is amazing. 1654 01:32:50,701 --> 01:32:51,867 Oh, yeah. 1655 01:32:52,001 --> 01:32:55,534 [ALL EXCLAIMING, LAUGHING] 1656 01:32:55,667 --> 01:32:57,934 - OTIS: I could do a high five. - High-fiving Mike? 1657 01:32:58,068 --> 01:32:59,867 That was a close one! No high-fiving. 1658 01:33:00,001 --> 01:33:02,068 - Let's go. Keep going. - Go, we gotta push it! 1659 01:33:02,200 --> 01:33:03,901 Out of the saddle! Out of the saddle! 1660 01:33:04,034 --> 01:33:07,133 - Push! Mush, mush, mush! - OTIS: I got it. 1661 01:33:07,267 --> 01:33:10,068 ♪ With your eyes You smile hello ♪ 1662 01:33:10,200 --> 01:33:12,968 ♪ Gracias a dios ♪ 1663 01:33:13,100 --> 01:33:16,300 ♪ I could feel My heart explode ♪ 1664 01:33:16,434 --> 01:33:19,434 ♪ Gracias a dios ♪ 1665 01:33:19,567 --> 01:33:22,367 ♪ Then you took my hand And soon ♪ 1666 01:33:22,500 --> 01:33:25,734 ♪ Stars were shining In the afternoon ♪ 1667 01:33:25,867 --> 01:33:27,867 ♪ Gracias a dios Gracias a dios ♪ 1668 01:33:28,001 --> 01:33:30,367 ♪ Gracias a dios ♪ 1669 01:33:30,460 --> 01:33:32,592 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 1670 01:33:32,701 --> 01:33:35,767 ♪ Now I'll never be alone ♪ 1671 01:33:35,901 --> 01:33:38,634 - ♪ Gracias a dios ♪ - ♪ Gracias a dios ♪ 1672 01:33:38,767 --> 01:33:41,701 ♪ I have you To call my own ♪ 1673 01:33:41,834 --> 01:33:44,867 - ♪ Gracias a dios ♪ - ♪ Gracias a dios ♪ 1674 01:33:45,001 --> 01:33:47,934 ♪ And I thank the lord above ♪ 1675 01:33:48,068 --> 01:33:50,934 ♪ For the miracle Of your love ♪ 1676 01:33:51,068 --> 01:33:53,400 ♪ Gracias a dios Gracias a dios ♪ 1677 01:33:53,534 --> 01:33:56,267 ♪ Gracias a dios ♪ 1678 01:33:56,400 --> 01:33:59,567 ♪ Yes, I thank the lord above ♪ 1679 01:33:59,701 --> 01:34:02,667 ♪ For the miracle Of your love ♪ 1680 01:34:02,801 --> 01:34:05,734 ♪ Gracias a dios Gracias a dios ♪ 1681 01:34:05,867 --> 01:34:10,434 ♪ Gracias a dios ♪ 1682 01:34:15,267 --> 01:34:18,167 [ISABELLE PIERRE'S "LES ENFANTS DE L'AVENIR" PLAYS] 120523