Original subtitles

This is what I've been waiting for.

Standing here like my father's flying boot.

You can just imagine what it used to be like.

June 1940.

Scramble, scramble, enemy overhead.

Reach for your joysticks.

Our liberty.

Defended by a few small aircraft.

Mind you, I didn't think they were going to be quite as small as that.

They'll seem even smaller once you're up there.

I won't mind that, Grandpa.

I've been dreaming of this for years.

I mean, what a sight.

All lined up.

Cockpits ready to throb.

I can just see my father taking off in one of those.

Yeah, your father was very good at taking off.

If he was coming back, he wasn't so keen on.

Do you think they'll let me take the blue one up?

I've always been very lucky with blue.

Looks a bit cleaner than the others as well.

There's plenty to choose from, Frank.

I mean, hardly anyone seems to be flying.

Now, well, that depends on the clouds.

They were very thick when I took the dog for a walk.

Now, if the clouds were as thick as your dog, no one would be flying at all.

Start Tango Uniform. Clear to join. Left hand downwind.

Runway 04, QFE 998.

Tango Uniform, roger. 04, 998.

Oscar Delta, final.

Sue Oscar, clear to final. Number one.

Zulu Oscar here, number one, Roger.

Zulu Oscar, there are three people on runway 04.

I say again, three people crossing runway 04.

Overshoot. Zulu Oscar, overshoot.

Clash for comfort.

Obviously a learner.

It's all right, Betty. You're perfectly safe now.

I think it was the crop sprayer. I could smell the fertilizers as he flew

overhead.

We're in the middle of the runway.

Thirty -five pupils a year.

I'll just make quite sure that everything's right here.

Good morning, and excuse me.

Oh, good morning.

Are you a pilot?

Yes, I am. Oh.

And are you flying today, may I ask? Yes, we're taking Aunt Zulu Victor.

Oh.

Would he be the African gentleman I passed out to?

Goodness me, no, no. That's the name of an aircraft.

You see, Zulu Victor.

Oh, well, I've just arrived, you see, and I would like to enroll as a student.

Oh, well, you'll have to see our chief instructor, Mr. Parker. He's not here

this morning, but he has a free space at 3 o 'clock this afternoon, if that

would suit you.

Indeed it would. Well, I'll let him know to expect you. Name?

Spencer, F .W.

Spence.

How do you do?

Oh, how do you do?

My name is James.

This is Mr. Pruitt, one of my students.

He's about to take his first flight.

Oh. How do you do?

Little nervous, are we?

Well, that's understandable, isn't it?

Your focals are fogging up a bit.

He'll be all right.

Have you checked the weather forecast?

Pardon? It's just that on my arrival, I noticed that your sausage was a bit

stiff.

The balloon at the end of the airfield.

Oh, you may... Oh, yes, the wind's cone.

No, no, that's quite all right. Just a little fresh breeze, break up the

Oh, well, let's hope that all it breaks up.

My father always used to like a little joke before he went up.

As he always said, it could be my last chance.

Well, it's understandable you being nervous your first flight. It's a very

step to take.

Very big.

Have you measured the emergency exit?

Well, I don't want to, you know, derogify your personals, but if there is

forced landing...

I think I'd just lean back, take a deep breath, hold your stomach in, and let Mr

Jennings jump out first.

Oh, what an absolute brick.

Come along, Mr Pruitt. Well, good luck, and may you have a safe take -off and a

safe landing, and don't worry about a hedge at the end of the runway.

You can get over there. Just lift up a bit as you get over there.

Bye -bye. If you feel a bit dizzy, put your head between your legs, because my

mother... Mr Pruitt.

Mr Pruitt.

I'm not going.

I'm not going.

I'm not going.

What?

He says he's not going.

Mr Spencer, when you take your first training flight, I sincerely hope you

meet up with an imbecile who will completely demoralise you.

No, no, no. I'm made of stronger stuff, Mr Jennings.

My father was in the Battle of Britain.

He was shot down seven times.

I want to be just like him.

If I had a gun, you would be.

That's a bit harsh, I feel.

Spencer Barron to control.

Mission accomplished.

We've wiped out 15 fish and chip shops.

Losses so far, 12 chips, three whistles and a saveloy.

Ah, Betty, this flying book has got all the pilot's language in it. Negative,

positive, affirmative.

I've got to learn all this.

This flying's going to be very expensive.

It only cost me £2 an hour to learn to drive.

But we spent £600 and you still haven't passed.

Yes, but I have had 300 lessons out of it. But have we got £600?

Not any more.

Look, I told you before not to worry about the money. You just get your

licence so that you can come out to Australia and help me with the farm. I

to run that place in a proper family way.

Well, don't you worry, Grandpa.

Now I'm in the family way.

Grandpa, we still haven't heard from Australia. How?

About the immigration interview.

Oh, well...

The man who interviewed me has been away sick.

Sick?

Yes, it's a bit of a delicate thing.

Oh. Apparently, after I finished the interview, he followed me out of the

and jumped off Waterloo Bridge.

Was it an accident?

Hardly. He was clutching a breeze block at the time.

Luckily, the tide was out.

But it still took the crane three and a half hours to get him out of the mud.

Oh, Frank.

It says here...

that a pilot has to be very careful what he eats. It says that if you've had

radishes, apples or onions, you should not leave the airfield.

If I'd had all that to eat, I wouldn't leave the house.

Excuse me.

Is he all right?

No, no.

It's that long journey. He's still suffering from the jet slag.

Jet slag?

Well, Australia, Betty. You've got to remember, it's underneath the world's

bottom.

He was on his head flying until he got to Calcutta.

It doesn't do your plumbing any good.

It's not just the blood that rushes to your head.

He's got a lot of old pipes there.

Some of them must be a bit rusty.

I just hope he can make the journey back all right. Yeah, it's only at the end

of the hall. No.

Yes, he will.

And then we'll all be together. You, me, Grandpa and Jessica and me.

Shearing 20 ,000 sheep.

Yes, but you've never sheared a sheep.

Well, I clipped a poodle once.

We're round here.

That's a little joke.

No, no, seriously.

I shouldn't think that shearing a sheep is any more different. You've just got

to get all the curly coat off in one go.

Apart from on the poodle, you leave the little bobble.

Well, on the sheep, you cut the little bobble off.

That's why you don't see a lot of sheep smiling.

Yes, all right. Well, if we finish, let's go upstairs and tell Jessica about

flying. Yes, and you can meet Alexander at the same time.

Alexander? I thought your friend Linda was looking after Jessica.

You're just right, but she's brought her little son round with her. He's

Jessica's boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

Boyfriend?

Exactly how long has my daughter been courting, may I add?

Frank, she's barely...

There's only five.

That's not the point. This is a vital stage in her life, Betty.

A new emotion is beginning to rear its head.

In parts of India, they've been engaged by now.

It's only a harmless friendship.

It may seem that way to you, but children are made much more advanced

days. I didn't know what a girl was till I was 12.

You must have done.

How could I?

I never saw one.

When my mother told me about the birds and the bees, I thought she meant I'd

been born in a hive.

Listen, if someone has taken an interest in my daughter, then I want to know

about it. I mean, what are his prospects?

What did his father do? What do we have in common?

Well, he is unemployed.

Apart from that.

Look, I don't know much about him, Frank.

The only thing I do remember is that he keeps sucking his thumb.

Well, no wonder he's unemployed.

Not the father, Alexander.

Fine husband he's going to make.

Hello.

Linda, I don't think you've met my husband. This is Alexander's mother.

How do you do?

I've seen you out with Jessica. I guessed who you were. You recognise the

It runs in the family.

My mother had it and now Jessica's got it. You can see the resemblance.

Yes. And this is Jessica's friend, Alexander.

How do you do, Alexander?

I'm Jessica's father.

And how long have you been seeing my daughter?

A little bit shy.

Poor Alexander had to go to the doctor yesterday, didn't you, Alexander?

Well, nothing catching, I trust.

Oh, no, he's just a bit run down.

Oh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. We can't have that, can we? Not when we've

really been enjoying ourselves this afternoon.

Well, who'd like something else to eat?

Jessica, would you like something else to eat, darling?

Well, what about you, Alexander?

Would you like some blancmange with your thumb?

Shall I tell you a story?

Would you like to hear a story?

Hands up, all those who'd like to hear a story.

Well, what about my impressionations, then? I could do Margaret Thatcher.

No, well, um, Edward Heath.

That's one of my best.

Or a gorilla eating a banana.

No, no, no, that will frighten them.

It won't frighten them.

It frightens me.

Right, who'd like to hear the story about Peter the Pixie going to tea with

Fairy Queen?

And didn't he misbehave?

Now, who wants to know what he did?

Hands up, all those who want to know, hear what Peter did.

All right, then, I'll tell you.

The Queen had a party with Peter.

She offered him trifle and such.

But he coughed in the jelly, was sick on the telly, and made a Mastaskian hutch.

Wasn't that exciting?

Well, I tell you what. Why don't you tell them all about your flying lessons,

Frank? Oh, yes.

Well, I happen to be going flying this afternoon.

Isn't that exciting?

Yes.

And I know a song about a plane. Who'd like to hear a song about a plane?

Hands up, all those who want to hear me sing.

Well, I think we'll go, Linda.

Yes. Here we go.

Mr. Panda made a plane and took a trip with Mary Jane.

But then he found his braces gone and that's what held his

engine on.

Open your ear.

One day he came down in a zoo and said this runway just won't

do. No wonder I had such a bump.

I landed on a camel's hump.

Mmm,

mmm, ever so good.

There. Did you like that?

Hmm? Yes?

What about you, Alexander?

Don't be afraid to voice an opinion.

Oh, no.

That wasn't too bad, was it? Thank you, Mr Barker. I feel a lot more relaxed

after I was in session.

Good.

Goodbye. Mr. Spencer.

I am he.

I'm Mr. Barker. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. I've just been debriefing

one of my students.

Do come in.

After you.

This is my grandfather, Mr. Spencer. And this is my wife, Mrs. Spencer.

I understand that you want to learn how to fly.

I do indeed.

I'm raring to go. I just can't wait.

We've already had a good look round the airfield and made some friends.

We waved to the man in the control tower.

Oh, that was you, was it?

It wasn't just me. We all went... Mr Spencer, please don't do that again.

An aircraft was trying to land.

Oh, we didn't see him coming. He was coming down from above.

We all went... Mr Barker,

take Frank to get his pilot's licence?

Well, that rather depends how quickly Mr Spencer picks things up.

Of course, he'll have to fly for a minimum of 35 hours.

Can they stay up that long?

No, no, I mean a total of 35 hours spread over several weeks.

Look, why don't I take you up for a trial, if I can say about 20 minutes,

then I can explain the basic procedure.

and you can see if you have a natural aptitude for it. Well, that seems fair

enough to me. You go right ahead, Frank. Letty and I will get some coffee.

That's all right, Grandad.

Goodbye, Mrs Spencer.

Goodbye.

Oh, goodbye, Frank.

I'll be watching for you. Yes, I'll wave as I fly overhead.

You sit down.

Mr Barker, I'm a little worried about my qualifications.

Oh, you have some.

No.

That's what I'm worried about. You see, I could have got my school leave -in

certificate, but unfortunately I did the leave -in before they could certify me.

Don't worry, Mr Spencer.

We don't ask for qualifications.

I always say you need just two things to apply, and they both begin with the

letter C.

Carrots.

Carrots? Yes, so you can see. Well, much the sharper I am. No, actually, what I

was going to say is see for confidence and coordination.

Well, I know I have confidence and I have coordination.

I can move both my arms and legs and together properly.

And plus I can control everything that has to be controlled.

And you've got a very nice day for it.

Oh, well, I don't mind going up if it rains.

Right, well, we don't want to take any chances, do we?

When there's bad weather about, a pilot always uses his best friend.

What, and sends him up instead?

No, no, Mr Spencer. A pilot's best friend is a 180 -degree turn.

Well, now, all I've got to do is to time you out in the flight record sheet, and

then we can go straight up.

Cramp, is it?

No, Spencer, FW.

Do you have cramp?

No, no, no, no, no. I'm just excited.

I see.

Well,

you'll be flying Golf, Bravo, Foxtrot, Romeo, Victor. All right? Yes.

Shall we go then?

Well, Mr... Haven't we forgotten something?

Beginning with P?

No, I don't think so.

The parachutes?

They're in the aircraft, are they?

What parachutes?

Parachutes for the use of.

For the pilots, for the jumping.

We don't have parachutes.

Don't have?

What, not any?

Do you think that's wise?

I mean, I don't want to be pessimistic, but... Look, Mr.

Spencer, tell me...

Do you know how to use one? Oh, I know how to jump.

Well, using a parachute without experience can be just as dangerous as

without one. But they always have them. I mean, they always have them in the

movie. John Wayne never jumps without one.

Yes, well, I'm afraid he wasn't one of my students.

Anyway,

that was a military aircraft.

Our flight won't include a bombing raid over Newport Pagnol.

Yes, well, if you're quite ready.

Oh, here we go, Frank.

It's a small step for man, but a big one for a Spencer.

Roger and out.

Now, you've observed that... for my free flight inspection, I'm using a written

checklist.

Affirmative. Do not trust my memory.

Now, mine's not too good either.

I don't expect you to take in too much on your first flight. Just keep watching

me, learn the routine, and repeat everything that I say.

That way, you'll get it fixed in your mind.

Roger. So, what am I using?

A written checklist.

Good.

Now, this is our aircraft.

Oh, it's marvelous, Mr. Barker.

Can I sit near the window?

I remove the control wheel lock.

I check the fuel gauge.

Fuel on.

Master switch off.

There. Now I'm ready to... Mr. Spencer.

Mr. Spencer, what have I just done?

You just rubbed your nose.

I have just done something in my aircraft.

I did it while you weren't looking.

You really must learn to pay attention, Mr. Spencer.

Right, I am now going to check outside my aircraft.

This bit's loose.

That bit is the only one. It's supposed to move like that.

Oh, good.

I found a little hole.

It's not a little hole. That is your cabin air ventilation inlet.

What is it?

My cabin air ventilation inlet.

Which you will check for any obstruction, such as burnt, Mr.

Petler. All right?

There was one in the drainpipe outside your window.

I think it was a weapon.

Now, having completed our exterior checks, we will now get into our

begin our interior inspection.

is what I've been waiting for.

Oh, I think you can sit a little closer to the controls than that.

No, no, no, don't get up.

Just put your hand between your legs.

I have my hand between my legs, Mr. Barker.

There's a metal bar. Pull it.

Now, I think you can come a little forward now.

There we are. That's it.

For a minute there, I thought I was going to eject.

There are no ejector seats, Mr Spencer, and there are no parachutes.

Whatever happens, we will stay with our aircraft.

We also fasten our seatbelts.

Otherwise, we will bang our heads when we loop the loop.

We're not here to do silly tricks. Remember, there are old pilots and there

bold pilots.

But there are no old bold pilots.

Remember that.

I'll remember that, Mr. Barker.

There are no... old bold pilots.

Bold.

Bold.

Now...

Look round.

Get the wrench out.

Clear to start.

All right? I do that? Mm -hmm.

Clear to start!

Is that loud enough, Mr. Barker?

Yes, I think the control tower should have heard that.

And probably the one that he throws, well.

Now, we're ready to start the engine.

Ignition key in.

Throttle a quarter of an inch out.

I have suction, flaps, radio on, earphones.

Ah, now I feel like a real airman.

No, no, no. The microphone goes to the front.

Now, real airmen don't talk to the back of their heads.

Well, now we have a final look around.

Granfield Tower, this is Roger Romeo Victor. Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

I'm not talking to you.

Why, what have I done?

Victor, roger. Clear taxi for holding point runway 04, QFE 9998, over.

Romeo, Victor, runway 04, QFE 9998, over.

Now, about aircraft direction.

In order to control direction, we use our rudders.

If you depress the left pedal, the aircraft will move to the left and vice

versa. Now I want you to take over the controls.

Well, now, yes, we're going too far over to the left.

So what should we do?

Depress the right pedal.

Yes, well, go ahead and do it. You're in control.

Gently. Gently,

gently. Gently, don't stamp on them. I haven't done you any harm.

Oh, I went the right round.

Left pedal to the left.

Right pedal to the right.

It's doing everything I want, Mr Barker.

Yes, you now have...

You now have control.

No, no, no.

I have control.

And me as well.

I have control. You have control.

We both have control.

Can you see my wife and granddad? Keep your eyes ahead, please.

Watch out for obstructions by the aircraft.

Roger.

Looking out for obstructions and for other aircraft.

Mr Barker, I no longer have control.

You know where we are.

Well, I could always call the tower.

and get our exact position?

Mr. Spencer, I don't need our exact position.

We are in the car park.

This is going to make my take -off very difficult.

I thought he was going to hit something.

He must be getting his pilot's license, not a parking ticket.

It's only his first attempt, and he's bound to make a few mistakes.

can't afford to make any mistakes, Lettie.

My name is Betty.

Look at the way he's moving.

Reminds me of a kangaroo I used to have.

Come to think of it, we used to call that kangaroo Lettie.

This is Romeo Victor. Ready for takeoff. Over.

Romeo Victor, Roger. Clear for takeoff. Right hand turn out. Surface wind zero

six zero degrees ten knots. Over.

Romeo Victor, Roger and...

to maintain direction.

It's all clear ahead, Mr Barker. I ease back my control column.

Ease back control column.

Mr Barker, we're still on the ground.

I know that.

I am now accelerating to take -off speed.

Watch my nose rise.

Watch in your nose.

It's just down below us.

the controls.

Mr. Spencer, the control column.

What's wrong with it?

Nothing is wrong with it.

Now, this controls the elevator.

When the control column is pushed forward, the elevator moves downward.

In other words, it raises the tail and lowers the nose.

So, now I want you to ease it forward.

Nothing's happening, Mr. Barker.

My horizontal tail's not working.

Well, don't be afraid of it. Push it forward.

anything that's just because you're nervous there try to have more

a bit nervous when he first went up. I'm sure he was. And all the other great

pilots, like Group Captain Cheshire and Friar Tuck.

Stanford Tuck.

Because unless you're a bit nervous, you could make mistakes, couldn't you? Mr.

Spencer, if I could get a word in eight ways.

Now, in order to turn our aircraft, we use our ailerons and our rudder. We roll

our aircraft into a bank.

Now, while this is happening, don't try and keep your body perpendicular to the

horizon. Do you understand that?

No.

Look, you've been on a motorbike, haven't you?

Not at this height.

When a motorbike turns, it leans to one side, and you lean with it, don't you?

Well, rotating the control column to the right causes our aircraft to bank to

the right. All right?

Well...

Just try it, will you? And you'll see what I mean.

So if I move...

time Frank's grandmother took me into the bush, it took us five days to get

back. Well, he can't stay up there for five days.

He hasn't had any lunch.

We'll give him a few more minutes and then we'll talk to someone.

The bloke in the control tower, he must know where he is.

Why do you have to keep making such a fuss?

is going to happen.

Letty, when will you learn that Frank is a grown man and he's a Spencer?

I don't think you know what that means.

I know exactly what that means.

That's why I'm worried.

Feeling better now?

I thought back there we weren't going to make it.

When the plane started spinning, my whole past life flashed before me.

I could remember all the things I've ever done.

It only lasted a few seconds.

Well, I haven't done all that much.

But I could see it all.

The air traffic controller standing by his blackboard, nibbling his stick of

chalk. This is not the Battle of Britain.

Aircraft flying one hour local do not go missing.

If anything had gone wrong, we'd simply have made a forced landing in a field.

And jumped out quick before we blew up.

Well, we'd have been prepared to get out as soon as possible. Yes.

That's the only occasion on which you would unlatch your cabin door before

landing.

Do what?

Unlatch your cabin door before landing.

Airfield in sight.

Granfield Tower, this is Romeo, Victor.

Oh, Mr Barker, you can open your eyes now.

Mr Barker?

Mr Barker, are you unconscious?

Not at once. Affirmative.

Mr Barker's unconscious.

Keep calm, Frank. Keep calm.

I am not worried.

Repeat after me. I am not worried.

A good... Pilate never gets bold and worried.

I'm worried.

Hello?

Press the button.

Hello? Hello?

It's a mayday. It's a mayday there.

Mayday.

Hello? Can you hear me?

Cranfield, affirmative.

Please identify yourself, over. Mr. Cranfield, it's Frank.

Frank Spencer.

This is Cranfield Tower.

What is your call sign, over? I don't know.

I can't remember if I'm a brave or a zulu.

It's written in front of you. Read from your instrument panel, over. I am G for

golf club, B for brave, F for... F for foxy, R for

I can't remember, and B for very brave.

Roger, that's golf, bravo, foxtrot, Romeo, Victor.

Are you solo?

position. I'm up here.

I must establish your position. Over.

Excuse me, please. Are you busy?

I'm a suspender and I'd like to know... Romeo Victor, I must establish your

position. Romeo Victor, that's Frank's plane.

Frank's? Quiet, Betty. This could be serious.

Where is it? I don't know.

Romeo Victor, look out your window and tell me what you see below.

Nothing. I can't see anything.

Cranfield to Romeo Victor. Are you in cloud?

Look up.

Can you see anything overhead?

is your grandfather.

Be careful.

Do you hear me?

Well, do something. I'm trying to. Romeo Victor, now don't panic.

Listen carefully. I have you in sight.

Are you familiar with your controls?

Can you remember anything your instructor told you?

There are old pilots and bold pilots.

There are old and bold pilots.

Now he's delirious.

Romeo Victor, just calm down. Concentrate on your control column and

throttle. Do you know which is your control column?

Yes, but that's upside down as well.

Romeo Victor, it doesn't matter.

Now my cone's fallen out.

Romeo Victor, never mind about your cone.

Just turn your control column to the right until I tell you to stop.

Acknowledge.

Say, that's hardly the word I'd use to describe my position.

In short, briefly and to the point, describing myself in my mother's

I would say I'm up the creek with both feet down the plughole.

I'm going away from the airfield.

I know.

I don't know how to turn round.

Romeo Victor, bank to the right.

Move your control column to the right and press your right rudder.

Romeo Victor, you're losing height. Over.

Well, I'll have to if I'm going to land.

Can you see your airspeed indicator?

Affirmative. I am doing 140.

Sometimes it takes longer.

Much longer.

We could be here for months.

Now, if you feel you've had enough... Why, don't you worry, Mr Barker.

I'll stay just as long as it takes.

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